Why is snek nope?, possums are Satan incarnate but ayeayes are cuthulu
>>17268124
Little snakes don't make me NOPE, just big ones
>>17268309
It's pretty obvious when they think you are dinner though, a rabid mammal ambushes. Now venomous snek is dickbag IMHO constrictors are pretty chiill
>>17268327
That's some bullshit that they can rear up like that. Those faggots are supposed to remain on the ground.
>>17268338
This was shot in Palumpa in the NT.That's my work car ...
>>17268716
Is it eating a giant bat?
This isnt paranormal
>>17268834
>toothless
>>17268908
>enforcing board rules
I bet people beat the shit out of you in school.
>>17267993
Human being is the most "nope" animal in the world
>>17267993
That thing looks like it would be rather sluggish. I would just sharpen some sticks and skewer the fucker. Hardly a nope. You could make a lot of boots out of that hide.
>>17268959
I don't have the link anymore, but snakes of that size still swim fucking fast man. I think you'd be pretty safe unless you tried provoking it. But you sure as hell wouldn't be the type to kill it
>>17268924
These are picures of opossums and snakes?
>>17268970
Fuck off with your Tumblr uptalk?
>>17268311
NOPE
>>17268984
Spoopy!
>>17269025
It's fake, bruh.
>>17268023
:-(
>>17268824
What the fuck is thIs
>>17268311
No way
>>17269059
faggot
>>17269050
>picture of Lolong
>its a fake!
Why do you have to be so skeptical?
>>17268045
>>17268042
The fuck am i looking at nigga?
>>17269417
I believe that is a spider defying the natural order by dining on a bird.
>>17269301
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolong
Okay, fair enough, anon, but with everything so easy to photoshop this days, you can't blame me. 90% of giant anything pics here (especially skellingtons) are shopped.
>>17269417
>The fuck am i looking at
Broke NEETs cruise `Net on phones, everything is too tiny to make much sense. Restricted to talking in abbreviations like "lol OMG senpai"
>>17269435
Well it is a bird-eating spider, so it's not really defying the natural order.
>>17269456
>Okay, fair enough, anon, but with everything so easy to photoshop this days, you can't blame me. 90% of giant anything pics here (especially skellingtons) are shopped.
>complains about proliferation of photoshopped pics
>makes up statistic to back up his opinion
>>17269462
SPIDERS SHOULD STICK TO EATING INVERTEBRATES AND NOT RUN AROUND GETTING A LOT OF BIG IDEAS!
>>17269467
>makes up statistic
It's called "generalizing", dipshit.
At least I can admit when I'm wrong, unlike 162 & 1/2% of this board.
>>17268030
This one is especially scary because you can see the whites of his eyes
how come that this nice fellow has not been posted
>>17269541
>>17269517
IRL version
>>17269557
>>17268064
How is that a nope? It's cute af
>>17269557
>>17269565
Mmm. It's always called for when you let things like the CIA exist. National politics is fucked by psygames that only exacerbate the issues. Every nation has to have an intelligence agency because they're afraid of the other nation knowing more shit.
It's ridiculous is a very wasp-inducing way.
>>17269565
Or you could be my father.
My parents live deep in the rural Ozarks and my father is an avid woodsman. He likes to claim that he enjoys living in harmony with nature but what he actually means is that he likes being a direct part of it, a natural, aggressive creature ever in conflict with the world around him.
There are always various wasps in the area, and by and large we've always had a live and let live attitude towards them. But one fine summer, while working on the gutters of the house, a red wasp, notorious for just up and stinging people for no real reason, dropped down the back of his neck and just went to town on his neck and back, and for my father that was the last straw.
Over the course of the next two years he launched a comprehensive and aggressive assault on wasps of all shapes and sizes. Red wasps, yellow jackets, hornets, for about a two mile radius around the house he found and destroyed every nest, every burrow, everything.
It took over a decade for the populations to even begin to recover from his wrath. This summer a yellow jacket nest was foolish enough to get angry when he plowed a ditch through their nest. The war has begun again.
Daas aye-aye.
>>17269417
A big spider eating a really small bird
>>17270005
What the fuck are you talking about.
>>17268908
You're not paranormal
>>17268908
>>17268970
If you don't like my thread, you don't have to look at it. People post non-paranormal but still scary/creepy stuff a lot. Conspiracy theories, mystery objects, lost cities, unsolved murders, ect. Animals can be scary looking or unsettling. Atleast I'm not posting another RP thread.
>tl;dr eat my asshole this thread is cool
>>17268064
>I know were you live my little sausages, ill be back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XkfUM7Hmjg
>>17268984
what is dis
>>17268389
That's cute desu
>>17270063
Check mate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcj0Srt8i6k
>>17269247
Dobson Fly
De Loys' Ape, South America. It stood around 6ft tall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnGt77u9ncU
>>17268338
>>17268018
>>17268023
>>17268030
>>17268035
>opossums
>>17270586
Shame about its tiny dick.
>>17268627
llol wut? do elaborate if you don't mind
I FAKIN LUV SNEKZ
1/?
Snekz are great for cuddling!
>>17268327
Verifying venomous snek is dickbag
Pretty sure this is relevant.
>>17269565
>wasps somehow arent bros for culling parasitic insect populations
Wolves are brutally adorable.
Does anyone agree with me that cats are evil??
Anyway, I'm done shitposting.
>>17270676
I work in the NT in Australia. That salt water croc was shot in a community I work in. It had been taking dogs and was a danger to kids. A bloke I worked with shot in on the river back in the town of Palumpa. I used to drive that car. It was hoisted in using a crane. The croc was 4.6 meters long. This is not a photo shop !!
>>17269557
>I don't know what I'm talking about
>>17270310
Kek, that's actually why I added them. The sea leopard from Happy Feet was so fucked up looking
OP here, gonna dump some more
>>17270077
I love his hunting technique...and that finger.
Inside a leatherback sea turtle's mouth
>>17269475
you're a moron
Damn nature, you scary
>>17270883
hectic
>>17270879
ok but ducks on the other hand have a corkscrew penis and mate by rape.
>>17269301
>photo obviously taken in Africa
>"it's Lolong!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvIo99iFxYw
>>17268064
>>17270310
>>17270850
>>17271001
This could be a Prodigy album cover or something.
This is the potoo bird.
>>17271060
I love potoos
>>17270888
He frew up
>>17268949
There's truth in that; our bipedalism is so alien to most animals that the main reason why animals are so scared of humans is because we look like shambling super monsters.
>>17270871
>>17270873
>>17270879
>>17271118
Besides the fact that humans are evil and prey upon anything weaker for no reason other than "because we can".
>>17270850
Jesus fucking Christ that is terrifying
>>17271137
And guns
>>17271156
>tfw you'll never have a parasitic tongue bro
>>17271173
Komodo dragon claw. Imagine getting raked with this
This is the well preserved claw of the extinct Moa, a giant NOPE ostrich
And the NOPE ostrich himself. This is a reenactment of what hunting them looked like.
>>17270696
They just look dirty, man. Dirty and violent.
Ran one over with my car, once, and I was pissed at it because the dumb thing just kept lumbering in front of me when it happened.
I was driving at night, with shitty headlights, and I swear the thing just kept walking forward and in front of my tire.
>>17271239
>>17271239
Or you could go be a faggot elsewhere
Is that a one eyed kitten?
>>17269462
Looks more like a golden orb weaver than a bird eating spider
>>17268064
See: >>17268082 and >>17268085
>>17270063
Sounds like the hero we deserve, not the one we need.
>>17271185
I'd be more worried about a bite, desu.
>>17271137
m8 you just turn 16 or something? I'm kidding of course, which I'm mentioning since you faggots take everything so serious now, but for fucks sake man.
>>17271404
on the contrary my good sir, he is indeed the hero we need... but we might not deserve him
>>17268389
Nathan Scott Philips
>>17270871
>>17270873
>>17270879
I've always said it...
>geese come from hell
>>17269517
hell nope.
>>17268018
they are just misunderstood lesser demons man befriend one they are better than racoons and will defend your property
>>17268389
nathan!
This is easily the most successful thread I've ever made anywhere, thanks everyone for contributing. Lots of stuff is never seen!
Here's some more
>>17268389
Kek
I actin actually have a whole bunch of NOPE images, would anybody be interested if I started threads on those? I've got statues, plants etc.
>>17272179
Forgot the picture, fuuuck
>>17270799
shopped center of the pic is of two different photos
>>17271180
poor baboon has mange
>>17270799
Is this a shop or was it scanned from an old magazine?
>>17270586
looking for more humans with chimp traits and vice versa
>>17268311
How many niggers does it take to kill a big ass crocodile?
>>17272166
salamander or newt?
>>17272307
I think salamander
>>17269517
I went to Zion as a part of a trip last summer and encountered the real world version of cazadors.
I had a very mild anxiety episode as I forced myself to try and take a picture of it. I didn't even get a good shot, I was too busy flipping out over it's creepy gait and wing jittering... Inverts don't normally wig me out, but deep inside my mind all I could think was
>I don't have any antivenom
>>17269616
>topkek
>>17271068
For some reason reading this made the picture go from unsettling to freaking adorable.
>>17270586
Confirmed for nigger
>>17269458
uhh.. what
>>17268824
>>17272391
elusive roid monkey
>>17272466
The fuck!? lol.
>>17270534
>killing preying mantises
I fucking hate people.
>>17272466
That irritated me way more than it should have.
>>17270586
Is this an aborigine?
>>17272166
id actually shit myself
>>17268002
>>17267998
>>17267994
>>17267993
why are you ll afraid of anacondas, I've kept anacondas, and they are lovely, sweet animals, pic related, its one of my baby yellow annies
>>17270760
this. If they're living away from your shit, they're totally cool
>>17268028
>>17272304
african rock python, I;ve kept them too, pretty aggressive, not too bad though
>>17272258
burmese pythons, sweet as a puppy
>>17272237
also burmese, poor girl
>>17272222
african rock again, eating a caiman looks like
>>17272216
burmese
>>17271185>>17271175
I've had the joy of working with these magnificent creatures as well, they too are severely misunderstood
>>17270725
>>17270784
crocodilians, also sweet creatures
>>17270749
spitters are real jumpy rascals
>>17270740
lovely leucistic reticulated python
>>17270734
indeed they are
>>17270713
oh come now thats just a file snake or perhaps a spillotes (hard to tell)
>>17270694
>>17270690
to be totally honest, emerald tree boas/green tree pythons have horrid attitudes
>>17270624
ball pythons, tame and sweet
>>17269301
I've had the lovely experience of working with salties, they're like cows kinda>>17268716
some kinda diamond python
>>17268715
>>17268713
another green annie
ugh too many but srsly why do you people fear snakes?
pic is a baby gator i had for a bit named alex
>>17271221
> They just look dirty
Says the mammal that needs to shower every day to remove the stink of BO and the gress from its fur while shitting and pissing into drinking water like a fucking savage
>>17272612
It's the ghost of Steve Irwin!
>>17272612
snake fag
>>17268715
Speed bump
>>17272552
>>17272612
OP here, I posted a lot of the big snakes here. Not so much because I dislike them, but because at those sizes, they are really powerful, intimidating creatures that would be a bit of a shock to come across if you weren't expecting them. I'm more fascinated than scared, you must admit if snakes that size got a hold of you, they could do some damage.
>>17272612
Also question I forgot to add, have you ever been bitten and which would you say is the most painful bite? What's the most aggressive snake in the world?
>>17271194
big birb
>>17272266
>>17272696
you are correct, in fact I have very limited use of my left arm due to such encounters, fun times, anyone want me to tell some stories?>>17272705
oh wow yes, I have been bitten more times than I can count, most painful initial bite or lasting effect? probably non venomous I'd say reticulated python on my left hand, and venomous would be gaboon viper to my right leg
>>17272775
TELL STORIES PLS
Also what kinda snake is this in my post? I would consider getting one cus its lil and cute
>>17272705
also as far as most aggressive snake goes, it's a little difficult to say, but for me, the most uniformly aggressive and easily excitable snakes would be lanceheads, or protobothrops (and by lancehead I mean common lancehead or bothrops atrox)
>>17272780
try looking for common colubrids most are like that, try ringnecks for really small guys
I'll type up the stories, just keep the thread alive
>>17272796
No probs, got some more stuff to share so I'll be bumpin a bunch.
>>17272476
kekked hard
>>17272552
Don't believe this man. He is an anaconda
>>17272780
Is that a black mamba baby?
Revenge!
ok so I'll start with my first really bad bite
>be 13
>still doing basic training to handle snakes
>my mentor is a hardass to the max
>his philosophy :pain is a good teacher
>on this particular day he i teaching me how to calm a territorial large python
>our subject was a lovely high yellow burmese, not large
>only about 8 feet
>apparently I' going too slow for Dom's (my teacher) liking
> "anon you won't have this time usually, stop with the hook and light touching and yank him"
>"how am I supposed to do that without him biting me?"
>"take control, always keep a hand near hi head"
>he wanted e to be bit, he wanted some pain for me, because I was just doing too well, put me in my place
>I was an arrogant shit so I needed it
>I reached in and yanked
>pressure
>heat
>I had no idea what was happening untill I carried it's bulk out and saw that the snake was latched onto me
>thought to just be calm, he'll probably detach easy
>nope.png
>the li'l guy gives me this real funny look, I'd almost liken it to a grin, and yanks
>approximately 130 recurved teeth about a fifth of an inch in length tear through my hand
>shocked, I look down
>oh fuck thats my tendon hanging out and he severed an artery
>it took me about a minute to loose consciousness
>I gave Dom a suckerpunch when I was patched up
it wa a great bonding experience, and it's what I needed for my personal growth, I'll never forget what Dom said before he poured alcohol on the pulp that was my hand. "Use some buddhist meditation bullshit cuz this is gonna hurt" I'm not even asian
so next up, should I do first venomous bite,, or the beginning of a wonderful friendship with the most destructive anaconda ever?
mfw I realized the damage done to me
>>17272844
snake guy here, nah, that'd be bigger and would have a very distinctive headshape
>>17272869
umm is anyone still lurking?
>>17272869
I'm here! Tell me about the big snake
>>17272959
ok, so the anaconda drogan, he was actually the one in my picture
the tale of drogan is overall happy, but it had quite the sad beginning
>drogan was bought by my teacher as a stud for his green annie named lavern
>he wanted hybrid babies
>the two connected immediately, it was truly adorable, and visitors often commented on how well they fit together
>over the next year, lavern and the unnamed male got very close
>in fact he would go ballistic if anyone tried to take them apart
>fast forward to december 2012, I was 17 at the time and everyone was excited
>lavern was pregnant
>lavern...did not survive childbirth
>.....neither did the babies
(i'm actually tearing up thinking of this)
>we found her and her stillborn babies
>the male was so confused
>he just kept nudging her and the babies
>when he realised what happened he made a sound which I can only call crying, well more like squeaking that seemed highly emotional
>he did'nt let us move her body, striking anyone who came close
>only after the rot had truly set did we have 5 people man handle him out and remove lavern's corpse
>after this he kinda snapped
>his eyes were like a speed addict
>humans were only objects to be attacked to him
>he was savage
>he kept trying to kill himself,
>my teacher couldn't deal with him, being defeated by the loss of lavern
>it was then I decided I'd take him
> I named him after the got dragon, one who was out of control, drogan
>I knew that it would be a long road, but it was my job to rehab the poor fella
cont?
>>17273020
Pls
>>17273020
>cont?
if you have to ask....
>>17273020
Is this a artistic work of fiction and falsehood or can snakes actually make sad sounds?
>>17273051
snake guy here, yeah they can, sorry for the wait everyone it'll be ready soon
>>17272466
>Bill would later be dumbfounded when he discovered his daughter on a backpage listing of underage crack whores
For my money its a pissed off silverback gorilla
https://youtu.be/Ld8qkDKl89g
>>17273033
>>17273049
the first day was so rough
>i needed to re-acquaint him to touch
>this means a lot of bites for me
>essentially I just had him lay on me, biting me when he felt the need, for about 6 hours
>during this time he managed to break my tv, overturn my bookshelf, break 4 mugs and (I shit you not) tear the floorboards in my living room up
>it was arduous, but I began to see definite patterns
>he was reacting every time he had a small piece of his neck touched
>he had somehow gotten a shard of glass stuck in his neck, and it wa not helping his wrathful anger
>I took him, cleaned him, bathed him, treated his wounds, and swaddled him in a blanket for his comfort
>he was actually taking glances at me that had no killing intent
this was my first step of victory
if someone could screencap these that'd be great
>>17273090
Could rip your limbs off with no effort
Get familiar with these fuckers oceanfags theyre already taking over the ocean
Jacob liked the ocean!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViN6GX0sYpg
>>17273101
the next week was a bit easier
> I found that he was calmed greatly by pressure, so as silly as it may sound, I found myself hugging him a lot
>he finally started accepting food, although I had to keep scenting it like his dead mate
>it was extremely rewarding to work with him, even if it did give me several gnarly scars
>by friday he was almost normal, great care was needed around him but he could be worked with normally, or so we thought, but the unthinkable happened
drogan broke out from his cage
>we were woken by crashing
>the locked tank was completely busted, like a chestburster went through it
>we couldn't find him, until we heard a sount that made me wince
>metal breaking and twisting
>I rn to the source
>holyshit.jpg
>he had pulled a vent cover out of the wall and was slithering into our heating system
>all five of us in the house pulled to no avail, the power of an annie is just spectacular.
>the next week was spent in utter horror as we now had a 13 foot 220 pound constrictor on the loose
>finally I caught him when he was coming out of the wall to defecate, at which point he gave me one huge wallop on my ankle
>theregoesyachillestendon.wav
>I finally got him back in his replacement tank, and started planning, and then it hit me
> I knew how to fix this snake!
>>17273120
sea turtles eat those fuckers, too bad humans eat sea turtles
>>17273137
so I knew how to help the poor thing out, but it was gonna hurt y wallet in a big way
>i got in contact with my friend ken in PA and took a roadtrip (about 5 hours from RI)
>ken had mixed annie babies
>i was going to replace his brood
> I picked out 12 (the exact number he lost) that were fresh fresh hatchlings, and happily payed for them
on a side note I was stopped by a cop in nyc, that was pretty damn funny if anyone want's to hear
>when I got home, I used some artificial pheromones on the babies
>they now smelled right to be drogans
> I remember fondly how those dagger like eyes turned to a puppies when he saw and smelled those little worms
>for the first time in a year, the happy friendly anaconda I once knew was back
I have had no further trouble with him, he loves his brood like they were his own, and they all are pretty damn fun to take care of, I'll take requests for the next story
>>17271245
come on it's just ron perlman nothing to be scared off
>>17273153
Any pictures of Drogans and the baby sneks? or maybe just the baby sneks. I'm curious what hatchlings look like.
>>17271137
Well, I can think of one other reason...
>>17268124
>>17270690
>>17272552
Based anons.
https://youtu.be/XafAdkZIYKA
This has always given me the creeps
>>17272552
Because they tried to eat JLo and Ice Cube
>>17272686
Kek
>>17270640
the only cute opossum i've ever seen
>>17271173
Here it isss hobbitsesss....the black gate!!!
>>17272862
Dafuq?
>>17273086
>he then made the same exact motions with his face
>>17272166
Adorable
>>17272614
kek
>>17272191
>>17272247
looks more like a photo of a magazine photo, no shoop
>>17270888
He looks so sad :(
>>17272834
i just woke up and when I first saw this it looked like a guy with a balloon in a slingshot
Still the scariest thing in the water
>>17273153
>made drogan into a cuck
Top kek
>>17271190
Fuck Moa's. Thank god the Maori ate them all.
>a decent thread on /x/
Setti, prune this please.
>>17272612
So do you work at an exotic pet shop or what? Where do you live that sells these?
Also, what do you do with your anacondas once they're too big? I've wanted one for years but I don't know what to do once it's big.
>>17269557
Fun fact: Japanese honeybees can literally cook those things alive using only their body heat.
>>17269565
Wasps aren't even the boss of their evil empire. The real boss has been hiding in plain sight the whole time.
It's corn. Yes, corn. if corn gets sufficiently irritated it emits an enzyme that calls all the wasps to utterly destroy whatever's irking it.
>>17272612
>poor girl
>girl
That's a trans-anuran gator-kin with the preferred pronoun of Xi, you shit lord
>>17270602
>>17273948
Corm: the grainy jew
>>17273892
>what do you do with your anacondas once they're too big?
I make them wear the mask.
>>17272166
What the cunt is that
>>17270888
I can't tell what that shark has fucked up but that shark has seriously fucked something up.
