Did you know there's a secret month?
Buried outside the flow of time, between December and January, there's a super-obscure thirteenth month that very few people know about. But if you enter a meditative trance on the night of December 31st, you can enter this extratemporal stretch of dead time known as... Undecember.
I know this is a little hard to take in, so let me explain. You know how Santa Claus can visit every house in the world in one night? Well, he doesn't actually do it in one night. He does it during Undecember, so from Santa's perspective, an entire month has passed, while from our perspective, no time has passed. It's kinda like time travel I guess. But during Undecember, all life ceases to exist; it's kind of like a shadow realm. There's ghosts and demons and shit, it's scary.
Undecember means a lot for the occult, though. There's a huge well of power that few people have ever managed to tap into. If you could claim that energy for yourself, the power of Undecember, you might be the most powerful sorcerer alive. Remember: If.
>>17002507
>Did you know there's a secret month?
Yep I knew that, but did you know that Duodecember is the 14th month? Its a secret of course, but nonetheless it still exists :D
I ritualistically consume a 30 pack of PBR on September 31st every year to open the gates to Rocktober.
>>17002524
you haven't LIVED until you've seen the secret full moon in Tricembruary.
Crack an occult calendar much? it don't sound like ya do
Let's keep it going guys
>>17002616
Psh, moons. I'd rather see the saturnrise in Unnilpentember. Every year on about the twentieth of Unnilpentember, Earth breaks out of its orbit and swings around Saturn. It rules. Though the tidal forces will give you a hell of a hangover.
>Duodecember
That doesn't make sense.
DECember means the 10th month, Deci as in Decimal.
NOVemeber, ninth month. OCTober 8th month, OCTO as in Octopus. SEPTember 7th month. ( I know, the numbers don't match up anymore when they moved the start of the year they fucked everything up )
So DUODECemeber would be "double ten month"
>>17002711
...No? Duodecim is Latin for twelve.
>>17002523
damn someone beat me to it
>Bitches don't know about Nevruary.
>mfw
>>17002722
Gotta be quicker.
>>17002720
> Duodecim is Latin for twelve.
You're right! I stand corrected, though Anon here is using it for '14': >>17002524
>Buried outside the flow of time, between December and January, there's a super-obscure thirteenth month that very few people know about. But if you enter a meditative trance on the night of December 31st, you can enter this extratemporal stretch of dead time known as... Undecember.
First a time traveler on /trash/ and now this shit? whats happend to the quality of this place
>>17002741
You were one of the slow kids, weren't you?
Duodecember is the fourteenth month, because december is the twelfth month.
What about the 13th zodiac, you know aquaries, fire water , the 5th element
>>17003725
thats only on cocktober
Y'all forgot about Octember
That doesn't hold up. You're saying Undecember starts on the 31st but that's 7 days after Christmas eve.
Checkmate.
Danktoberfest only happens 420 times a year
>>17003772
>super obscure month detected
>>17002507
NO, you great nancing ponce! It's Febtober!
>13th month
>not the super secret 8th day of week mentioned
I'm not going to tell you what it is called or how to access it but it is there. My tulpa wife told me it's dangerous day so you really shouldn't try to access it.
Holy fucking asscrackers I hope the numbering scheme doesn't completely break down for 2/3rds of our months, oh. Romantic numbers in months is cute, but if I'm making a 13th month I'm naming it what I want. Wintershell the month where sun doesn't come up cause its full of demons and actually an eternal night for just a month cause fuck you its edge. Also nobody wants to talk about op and Santa?
I love the claim of an unknown month. Also love the claim that Santa claus is real!!! Great stuff
>>17004700
Damn. I thought I would be the first to mention that. Beat me. The Santa claus thing that is LMAO
Wait. That means unodecember is between Dec 24 and 25th which means December is really 2 months. 14 months confirmed.
>>17002741
Yeah, because December is 12.
>>17004588
YOU DRUNKEN SOD, IT'S RAPERIL!
>>17003844
Eh, wibbly wobbly, timey wimey... the important thing is the angels have the phone box.
>>17004632
>My tulpa wife told me it's dangerous day
I see what you did there.
>>17002507
This is the story I'll be telling my kids, because it's way cooler than your usual Santa narrative. Aliens, Cthulhu, fairies, I'll put them all in Undecember.
>tfw your son never grows out of it and becomes full schizo /x/ browser trying to open a gateway to Undecember for the rest of his life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH2PoutvY_I
>>17002507
mayan calendar is split into 18 months of 20 days with one month of 5 days
>>17004870
That's stupid. A five-day month?
They're called months because they're (roughly) the length of a lunar cycle.
>>17002507
This is actually neat, and sounds pretty viable, OP. Anything I can read up about this or did you just pull this out of your thirteenth ass?
>>17004831
>come to our new years party anon!
>MORE IMPORTANT THINGS ARE AT STAKE, MORTALS
>haha come on dude we got a bunch of e and invited that redhead from your physics class
>NO I MUST MEDITATE
>whatever anon just make sure your new years resolution is to finally get laid
Undecember is why miscarriages happen. All those babies who were "miscarried" are actually still alive, it's just that they were born in Undecember.
You know that weird shop in your hometown? Yeah, THAT shop. The one that still seems to be in business, but never seems to be open? It's open during Undecember.
>>17004831
And Undecember is ruled by an evil Santa counterpart who wears a black outfit, and Santa has to fight him.
>>17002507
Santa delivers the presents on the 24th of december. That's a week before the beginning of undecember.
>>17005026
>Santa delivers the presents on the 24th of december
No, that's your parents. The real Santa delivers presents during Undecember.
>>17002507
>you might not belive me so i'll compare it to santa
Try harder fag
>>17005058
>implying Santa isn't real
>>17002507
>Undecember starts on the 31st
>Santa uses it to deliver presents
>Christmas is the 25th
You really should have thought this through you fucking twat.
>>17005404
>>17005026
>>17003844
Let's play "spot the American", everybody.
fuck you guys, I think this is fun. It's the kind of thing you could probably convince a child to believe.
>>17004947
What if sex with redhead is the secret to entering Undecember though?
>>17006702
Eh, I don't really get attracted to redheads.
>>17002507
>believing in santa claus
What the fuck OP.
>>17004804
No, that's what I did to your mother last night, Trebek.
>>17006853
>>17004929
kek
>>17002507
Still beaten by 15th February 1918 of Russia-that-wasn't. That's right, there were 13 days-that-wasn't in Russia.
>>17002507
that's cool and all but what about the secret hidden hour between days where all machinery stops working and most humans turn into coffins?
