![s-l1600[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/5altgdT.jpg "s-l1600[1].jpg")
How do I get on the Illuminati's good side? I want to have a good life after the One World Government is established.
Be born into it or learn as much as you can about it. And they don't exactly hide themselves.
>>17000510
Nothing special behavior-wise?
>>17000531
Just don't get caught HAHAHAHAHAHAUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHQHAHAHQHAHWHAHAHA
>>17000506
do not become a slave, fight alongside III%
you don't have to be in an official unit, go lone wolf until you find em
and no, not everyone with the patch is a legitamate member of III% yet some who aren't fight aswell
>>17000506
>I want to have a good life after the One World Government is established.
>after
Sage for stupidity.
>>17000506
It's simple, be a billionaire
>>17000506
you get born into a very privileged position
Otherwise the best you can hope for is being an expendable asset that just so happens to have something they need, prompting them to contact you.
assuming they're even real.
>>17000506
>Be rich
>Be USA citizen
>Be preferebly white or jewish
>Remove yourself from all your old friends (Especially the poorfags)
>Convert to Christianity(Roman-Catholic) or Judaism. (Any other religions are a strict NO)
>Join Yale or Harvard
>Studying Law, Business, or Finance is most preferred
>Get as many new rich jewish or christian friends. Especially those that are children of politicians, diplomats, or other people in high power
>Join Freemasons
>Get good grades or (buy good grades)
>Join the CIA
>Join the Republican or Democratic party (Doesnt matter wich one, they are both illuminati)
>Get into politics (Foreign policy is best)
>Accept all lobbyists for nice donations and change policies for maximum profit for the elite
>Invest in companies that help the Illuminati like weapons manufacturers, oil companies, mass media, etc..
>Get in touch with the elite of Saudia Arabia
>Work you way up
Extra bonuses to get into Illuminati;
>Serve in the army at a non-dangerous position for a few years
>Be a pedophile
>Dont question anything ever
>Dont join any political parties except for above mentioned Democrats or Republicans
>Dont ever communicate with poorfags, or minorities and dont hang around them
>Never use public transport, except for maybe luxurious taxi's
As you will slowly join the rank of the Illuminati they test your loyalty, honesty and skills. This is to filter out the weebs and to protect themselves from sabotage.
So prepare for this in advance by always being watchful and aware of your surroundings. Dont trust anybody or you will end up like John F. Kennedy.
The Illuminati are the top 0.1%. So you see its an extremely privileged status.
>>17001636
Also this. But if they don't need you after a while you "disappear", get killed, tortured, or your entire career will be instantly destroyed.
All tools will wear out after a while and need to be replaced. Especially when the tools know too much.
>>17000506
Dear citizen.
We at the Illuminati strive for excellence and progress in all things, and hope that our work is appreciated.
Insofar as getting on our "good side" is concerned there is nothing to worry about; You are already on our good side. All of Humanity is on our good side.
Our reason for being is to see to it that humanity's future is glorious and plentiful for all. To stay on our good side, simply keep being awesome, and you ARE awesome.
Try not to be concerned about those details like Extra-Terrestrials and Reptilians. The former are innocuous and curious, the latter are servile and make fantastic interns.
There is no New World Order, we already rule the world and everything in it; despite how it might seem less than ideal, the whole system is running quite smoothly. it COULD be worse.
Sincerely,
Your lords and masters.
We love you.
>>17001792
>teenage fags shitposting: the post
IllumiJews are multigenerational or picked at birth like Bieber.
>>17001792
I think I have a good start on this already.
>>17002101
Cool-cool thanks.
>>17001792
Dear Citizen.
We find error in this list of alleged Illuminati traits to be inherently flawed.
Our international corporation of power, secrecy and information does not discriminate by age, race, creed, gender, sexual orientation or financial status. We make use of these aspects of people when necessary, but we are not so inflexible as to consider such things as stringent selection criteria.
To make said selection process easy to understand, there is but one thing we desire of candidates: If we want you, we'll take you. We might already have taken you. You don't need to know if we have.
Concerning organizations, commercial, government and otherwise, while we own stocks in most everything or hold influence over their human element -or in the case of the CIA, hire them out sometimes- we are not directly associated. We feel this would be counter-productive.
Sincerely,
Your lords and masters.
P.S. we don't understand your fixation on pedophilia, but we would like to make it clear that this concern is entirely one-sided on your own part.
>>17002162
Hey Illuminardy,
Why you gotta be so evil? How come all the child sacrifice and ritual weirdness? Would it not seem logical to conclude any force which would request terror and sacrifice in exchange for their assistance be anything other than evil? Logically, you would have aligned yourselves with the losing side, correct? Does it ever cross your mind that maybe your guys backed the wrong spiritual horse on this one?
Truly,
Semi-Anon
Illuminati, why do you like to fuck so naughty?
>>17000506
Its not worth it. Don't do it. Your fucked.
>>17004002
what about my fucked? what'd he do now?
>>17004016
No one is safe. There is nothing good that comes from them. They own everything. Whatever they wish for to happen will happen. As mentioned by others earlier they make deals with the privileged, rich and famous. Their signs and symbols are everywhere in the media from everyday television shows to music videos. They will ruin your life and take your soul. I will warn you. You don't know what your asking for.
Illuminati isn't real. The Jewish elite made up Satanic Elite so when the masses find out there is an evil society, they'll blame Stanic worshippers not Jewish people.
>>17004065
Nah they are satanic elite pretending to be Jewish elite
>>17004074
they are allright guys
You can't win by joining them in any capacity.
They are a bloodline. If you work for them and they win, you'll be double-crossed and will have only earned your own enslavement. Trusting people whose modus operandi is based on deception is foolish. If you work for them and they lose, well, you'll be lynched alongside your masters.
And if there is a heaven then attempting to enslave humanity will probably exclude you from any kind of decent afterlife. You might be rewarded with material things for as long as you're useful to them, but in the long run, you'll be turning your karma to shit.
Hi guys real Illuminati member here. Do not fear us please. Join us. You are all on our good side unless you worship satan. Just by being born you are on my good side. LOL We rule this with humanity in mind. We are not the satan worshiping, goat blood drinking, edglord NWO as you think we are. I can post more pictures of my email or other things if you like for proof but eh.
>>17004856
>>17004856
>There are actually people out there believe that being subscribed to that websites mailing list makes them a member of the illuminati.
Not that I don't believe you're baiting anyway. But I'm pretty sure there are at least some morons out there who buy it.
>>17000506
you'll need a time machine
>>17002114
bieber is just a monarch sex kitten
>>17004865
>being this afraid of the truth
>no my Illuminati is a secret organization
>No... no my Illuminati no my dreams
Join the mailing list eventually more comes guy. Opportunities perceive themselves to obtain stuff, and positions that are not obtainable anywhere else as well as discussions. Handbooks are available as well. But how could this be true? Such a super secret organization right in front of you? It can't be true. In the middle ages woman who practiced other than Catholicism were dubbed witches. Some may have been witches, the others were just practicing religions that were not understood. Humanity is our major concern.
>>17004876
(I'm officially being baited right now)
Dude I was on the mailing list for ages, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Only recently Unsubscribed after getting bored of their junk mail. Yeah I've read their little handbook and filled in the little prerequisite thing or whatever it was. It's total bullshit.
>Humanity is our major concern
>our
>our
Oh shit you actually believe you're an official member of the illuminati? Ha.
But like I said. I'm being baited right now. 4chan has finally defeated me.
>>17000624
>III%
What is that?
>>17000506
>> trying to succumb to a dictoral singular world government before it even becomes a reality, if at all
>> being this big of a diaper shitting sheeple
Go to the corner and think about how big of a dissapointment you are.
>>17004034
Fuck off Randy
>>17004885
HAHA you obviously have nothing to offer us. Don't worry we will take care of you. No bait honest truth. You were shut down kicked out basically.
>read their little handbook
>Little handbook
No you obviously did not This book is not little. There is no PDF no downloadable. You have to order it. That did not happen I can tell. Look here "m8" you and 4chan are confused and that is okay. It is hard to realize you were lied to your whole life by people afraid of the unknown. We are here we are real you can take it how you want. I do not shoot out to argue with anyone or "defeat" anyone I am here to say we are here you are all confused as to what we are and I am just trying to help. This will be my last post because this is getting childish... it's beginning to get 4chanish.
>We will never take your hand and pull you down the path like a slave to our whims. You must find and travel the road on your own. But your quality of life is our greatest concern, and the reason our symbols are placed in your society as a map for you to follow if you desire.
>>17004903
>There is no PDF no downloadable.
It's the internet age, there's a PDF famicon.
>>17004903
Such egotism....
Yes I know you have to order it.... I did order it.
I'm starting to think you are shilling for the website itself, to get more people to go order the little handbook.
"How do you know Christianity is the truth?"
"Because the Bible says so"
"How do you know you're a member of the illuminati?"
"Because some website said that I am, as long as I give them £7 and stay on their mailing list. Get rekt pleb."
Yeah I think you're in on the fact of the matter and are shilling for them.
>>17000506
why would you want to go to Hell OP?
If you're a hot girl you can marry a member. That's about it
>>17004897
Nah fuck that. You go ahead and take a stand against them, I'm sure you'll make a big difference. I really like living comfortably.
Fuck, I want an easy life too. I was tricked by the fucking Putin-lovers, that prisonplanet zeropoint gold and silver hoarding tinfoilhat fight the NWO and aliens bullshit that had been going on for decades before I was born with the fucking conspiracy nuts. I realized, I want the New World Order. And hell, I don't want to be a prisoner. And as for that "fight the NWO" bullshit I was misguided. I just want to have a wife to keep me in check and some kids.
>>17005983
so you want to be a sell-out is what you're saying lol..
you'll end up losing your soul just to enjoy this temporary life, at the expense of your afterlife, which is forever.
Do the Illuminati allow practicing homosexuals in their ranks? I personally am homosexual and especially enjoy black males, would I be allowed in?
>>17006546
All sorts of sexual magick is preformed by elite members of various nefarious organizations like the Illuminati. While it is certainly not expressed openly among the ranking officials (as appearances are everything and silentium est arueum) there certainly are rituals that contain homosexual acts of the deviant nature.
>>17006546
High ranking members of the Illuminati are considered "elite"
But at the same time, they are the most degenerate things you can imagine.
I met a woman who told me that her daughter (who had 6 fingers and 6 toes because her husband was probably 100% lizard) was being ritually abused by her father.
The girl was about 4 years old.
They "do as they will" no matter how sick and perverse.
And even if they are racist, they are hypocrites to the core, so you'll probably be safe.
But eventually they are going to try and kill everyone else off.
>>17000506
This thread should be renamed
"How do I become a demon?"
>>17001792
Everything listed here is quite rightly spot on. Though the only way to enter into the organization is to be :invited: into its depths.
As made painfully obvious by 17001792, the only way you'll ever meet someone who'd instigate such an invitation would be through highly scrutinized channels where virtually nothing personal can be kept secret.
The only way to remain an independent thinker even within the outer circles of the greater Illuminati pyramid scheme is to keep all thoughts and desires you might have to yourself, period.
If you've developed an even remotely questionable online persona, you can forget about joining the highest ranks as your odds of meeting someone who is of the capable ranking to dismiss such a source of potential slander is inconsequential sits at just about 0.
>>17000506
>Implying anyone but the Illuminati will have a good life
>Implying its not already too late and the one world government is not already established
You're fucked m8
We're all fucked
>>17005983
>I just want to have a wife to keep me in check and some kids
Admirable, but that's not what the 'elite' want for you.
They want your wife to be unfaithful, they want your children to be disobedient, to hate you, and you them.
They want you to be consumed by fear, they want you preoccupied with social issues, they want you to be entertained and distracted.
They want your perception of reality distorted, your mind unhinged, unhealthy, so your body will follow.
They want total control.
Keep spreading their name all over the Internet - they love that. It worked for my late girlfriend, right up to the day they had her killed and her body mysteriously dumped in a water tank on top of a hotel...
>>17006746
What makes you think I care? I am not sure I can be 100% faithful either.
Children will always be disobedient and hate their parents.
Parents will always be assholes to their children.
Fear is constant.
I am preoccupied with social issues. It's called life.
I am entertained and distracted and I like it.
I don't even know what you mean by distorted reality, I know what's real and it's not the alien ghost demon bullshit. Unhinged mind... what do you mean? Crazy? And I am already under total control and so are you even if you may not know it.
>>17001792
>Be preferebly white or jewish
>WHITE
HA!
>>17006564
what do you think you're posting that for?
>>17006564
>sigilum fraternitas A.'. A.'.
They really have nothing to do with the "Illuminati" of folk legend and more to do with Illuminism.
>>17001792
But THAT sounds
haaaaaaaaaaard
>>17008038
Astrum Argentum is one place where the White Brotherhood gets some of their most practiced occult members. And seeing as the Great White Brotherhood is simply the last step before the pinnacle of the publicly known Illuminati scheme - it is quite relevant.
>>17008028
I responded to a post using an image that represents intense training in the magickal arts.
>>17000506
Daily reminder that Illumernaughty hype is just a smokescreen for the wealthiest world dynasties, who in totality represent a union between ultra rich Zionist Jews and WASP Freemasons, and that the wealthiest dynasties have been known by name for centuries but never opposed because the minority of people who don't support them have always been too afraid to take action against them.
Daily reminder that the more impossibly powerful Illuminati conspiracy theories make the elite out to be (think shape-shifting reptoids who could vaporize us all in an instant, instead of just old men who have inherited mass wealth), the less likely the people who buy into such theories will be willing to fight back.
They see you as an animal, you won't get in their good side.
>>17009616
>human vape juice
Aliens might like it.
suck lizards cock
>>17009874
Mmmmmmm
>>17010009
why the fuck is an Illuminati Lizard Man wearing a loin cloth
>>17007051
kek
>>17004856
>do not fear us
can you prove me there is no reason to fear you?
>join us
how can I join you?
what do you wan't me to do?
I need to know more about you before joining you.
>you are on my good side
lots of humans are doing polution, wars,
destroying themself and destroying the other spiecies.
so what do you mean saying everyone is in the good side?
>>17010034
That from a ravinca mtg card
>>17000506
There's a misunderstanding on who or what they are.
You should not worry in any way or the other.
What ever happens will happen anyways. They dont target particular people. They dont care for that.
>>17000506
If they're real it's safe to say most of us have already joined them. Pic related. It's as simple as doing what you're told and using the systems in place that allow us to worship their deities and ideologies.
As far as getting on their "good side" I think other anons have already spelled that out pretty well.
>>17007051
DELETE THIS
>>17000506
>I want to have a good life after the One World Government is established.
Then kill yourself now. The horrors you will face and be subject to will make Lovecraftian works seem appealing.
>>17004893
3% of the population is what it took to win the American Revolution. III% is symbolism representing that, a small percentage of the population standing up to tyranny and fucking their shit up.
Inb4 butthurt Brits.
>>17000506
>good side
Yes goy, pay your dues!
Don't be mislead about the mysticism they try to portray here.
back to >>>/int/
>>17009616
So much this
>>17000506
>after the One World Government is established
>implying it isn't established already
