>born with a degenerative eye condition that will leave me blind at thirty
>always interested in stories of blind monks and the cultivation of inner vision
>read The Lost Years of Merlin stories when I was younger and cried at the part where he loses his sight
>was heartened that he regained it through magical means
>also watched Naruto and learned about chakras and third eyes for the first time
>started vigorously meditating when not playing videogames or reading
>read Dion Fortune and Aleister Crowley
>also read Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary
>got some experience with AP but found it not what I sought
>figured that I would do LSD in college to find out its spiritual benefits
>got to college
>smoked a cigarette outside the dorms to meet a weed guy then bought a gram from him to become his friend then asked if he knew where to find LSD
>[redacted]
>with LSD in my system I began to smoke the weed
>the effects came on within thirty minutes
>by the third hour I had seen the fnords, contacted the ETs, and become master of sexual tantra
>most importantly, it relieved my blindness -- or at least made my other senses sharper to compensate
>I was an instant convert
1/?
>more interestingly, however, I contacted an interdimesnional alien intelligence, let's call him/her Lucy
>Lucy explained that she had been with me in previous incarnations
>she told me many marvellous things
>and promised me if I fulfilled a certain task I'd be rewarded with a qt Catholic wife and a Freemason community of acid empressarios
>[redacted]
>with the task complete I awaited my reward
>but it never came
>as the acid wore off the entity left
2/?
>anyway, started doing acid more and more for its beneficial effects
>particularly enjoyed the afterglow which seemed to last several weeks
>each time I would contact this entity as well
>and it gave me more and more tasks to complete
>none of the tasks made sense
>and I would be horribly embarassed if most came to light
>eventually I smoked DMT
>and the entity told me to [redacted]
>even after the drug faded the voice remained
>it would coax me into a trance when I was half-asleep and in bed
>then I would perform strange yogic moves and chant seeming nonsense
>this continued for several months
3/?
>the fact that the voice no longer left me when the drugs wore off concerned me
>I admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital
>they put me on antipsychotics and tranquilizers and I went into a fugue state
>for several weeks all I remember is dreams of Lucy and evil alien torture experiments being performed on me
>eventually tho, I was well enough to leave
>all my spiritual superpowers like better sight were gone, however
4/?
Keep going. But write your shit out in notepad first next time
5/5
Anyway, I was just wondering how to assimilate all this.
Obviously I can't do drugs anymore. But is it alright for me to meditate and practice the occult? I wouldn't mind a little bit of controlled insanity, just not how out of control it was previously.
Also, is it possible I encountered a demonic entity? There were lots of blasphemous things it said and told me to do.
I almost feel like I should just convert back to Catholicism and accept my fate and hope to meet a qt wife one day instead of struggling in vain against the will of God.
What do you think?
In the bhagavad gita sanjaya can see things without his eyes by remote viewing. basically he is sitting with a blind king and relates to the blind king what is happening on the battlefield by remote viewing. He is the one reciting the bhagavad gita.
OP. What is sexual tantra? As you experienced it during your trip. What was the experience like can you describe it?
>>16974599
Sexual tantra, to the best of my understanding, involves refraining from ejaculation to experience a full body orgasm. Admittedly, however, I'm no expert on tantra and might have misused the term -- I was actually making a greenpill joke.
>>16974616
Are you OP? Have you experienced this on LSD?
I have avoided sex and masturbation for about a year and have had a couple times where my semen tried to leave my body while awake and I held it in and experienced what oculd be described as a full body orgasm. I dont do psychelics though
By the way OP the psychiatric system is the surviving remnant of the witch-hunters. I dont support psychedelic usage though because of its ability to throw people off balance but I dont think psychiatry is good either.
>>16974630
Yes and yes. I don't masturbate much anymore either.
Ya man I would avoid drugs. Meditation sounds alright. I think what you encountered may have been some type of demonic entity, possibly an extra-terrestrial , but if you are hearing voices or hallucinating or something do not tellanyone about it. People may try to get you to see a shrink or might try to get you on psychiatric drugs so if you have any strange experiences keep them to your self.
Ummm. but ya I don't know I mean prayer and spellwork is basically the same.. using intention to focus energy and it utilizes the non-local nature of consciousness, the only difference is the rituals used to focus energy but the rituals are all superficial what mmatters is the use of intent to focus energy, any ritual will do.
Do you feel drawn to the catholic church? Or any other religion?
>>16974730
I was born Catholic so I feel like I'll always have that religion imprinted in my psyche. I used to be a good kid before I stopped believing. Almost wish I could go back to that childlike simplicity.
>>16974821
I should almost tell you that you can.
>>16974821
What exactly did you believe when you were catholic and what do you believe now?
>>16974845
>before
I believe in God, the father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.
>after
I believe that religion is a sign of a deranged brain and most prophets had mental illnesses and Jesus was either crazy or conniving or both.
>>16974876
Do you wish to return to the Catholic Church or are you open to exploring a new religion?
Is there a new way you can understand religion that combines some current understandings with a new way of interpreting religious teachings?
Do you believe in God?
>>16974893
What I mean is that there are some people who interpret religious dogmas as having two sides. There is the literal(exoteric) aspect to it. That aspect simply being the surface level, the appearance.
Then there is the esoteric level, the deeper meanings, the meanings behind the symbolism.
So the apostles creed could be interpreted symbolically.
Exoteric/Esoteric aspects to verses.
>>16974893
I wish I could believe in God cause I think it would make me happier but nowadays I'm too cynical.
It's hard for me to reconcile my experiences with reality. I always thought I was being "rational" and yet I ended up in a loony bin.
It would be nice to return to the faith. I'm not really interested in Islam or Judaism and Buddhism and Hinduism seem too ethnic for me to practice. As far as churches go, I think Orthodox and Catholic are most legit. Protestantism doesn't really appeal to me.
>>16974940
Well the loony bin is simply a way for materialists to enforce their view of reality. It is similar to the way the catholics had an inquisition.
People who were non-catholic were tortured becausue they denied catholicism. Similarly people who have paranormal experiences are totured with psychiatric drugs because they don't conform to the materialist view of reality.
The loony bin doesnt mean your perceptions were wrong. It just means you were wrong to tell people what you were experiencing. But drugs throw people off balance so they are not good for that reason anyways.
I dont fully understand what your experiences were.
Because what you experienced while on LSD was a lifting of the veil and when the veil was lifted you experienced becoming "possessed" by a demon which is another word for alie intelligence.
So what people call schizophrenia is often times demonic possession, not always. The problem is that the psychiatrists see that as being a materialistic problem, an isue with the brain . So they give drugs. But the real cause is demonic possession.
BUT I WOULD NOT TELL exorcists about being possessed by a demon because the power of the secular materialist establishment is such that if you told an exorcist you were hearing voices or something like that they might tell on you to a psychiatrist and try to get you sent to a loony bin. You really can't trust people when it comes to non-ordinary experiences of reality.
So I personally believe in demonic possession.
Do I believe in God. I am sort of agnostic. I believe the universe has always existed. I believe that prayer can focus human consciousness though. One can pray with or without invoking GOd.
So instead of saying "GOd please to this"
you could say "May such and such happen"... many buddhists use a godless form of prayer.
But I think "the veil" is there for a reason. it is there to protect us from demonic entities. And so I don't think it is good for the veil to be lifted.
>also read Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary
It was kind of horrifying re-reading those guys' work after I'd actually had a mystical experience. Either I'd joined the ranks of the chemically lobotomized, or I'd attained post-larval status. That this world had been hidden from me seemed like a crime that deserved an honor genocide - but I was gracious and forgave everyone, because I'm just that great.
>[redacted]
If you don't mention the archtypes, the trans-personal, psychedelic vision doesn't shine through.
>by the third hour I had seen the fnords, contacted the ETs, and become master of sexual tantra
For me, all of that was merged. The ET's came to fuck me - floating down like feathers were, at any given time, two to five hermaphrodites meeting my precise, ridiculous and arbitrary beauty standards, and wearing whatever outfits I desired. There was a sense that humanity's future would be this blissful and calm - no strife, just enjoyment of our wildest dreams made flesh.
>Lucy explained that she had been with me in previous incarnations
I was told that I was in fact one of these hermaphrodites, that I could evolve into this form via bioprinting and genetic engineering, and that this was my destiny.
>and promised me if I fulfilled a certain task I'd be rewarded with a qt Catholic wife and a Freemason community of acid empressarios
I was promised that if I was smart enough, Gaia would reward me with a super-human body and a domineering husband to worship and give children to.
>all my spiritual superpowers like better sight were gone, however
Mine have faded since it happened, but I'm left with a clear-headedness and Tesla-like understanding of the physical world. I'd do anything to feel that way again - I'm a junky of the soul.
>>16974970
so I need to
1) quit meds (can't trust those doctors)
2) exorcise myself (can't trust those priests)
That sounds too simple to be the solution but maybe you're right.
>>16974940
Then believe in a god as cynical as you are.
>>16975027
That's interesting af senpai. I felt kinda like it was gaia talking but maybe also Jenova from FFVII like an alien inteligence that landed on earth and seeded life so that her children could awaken millenia in the future through use of psychedelic drugs and meditation.
>>16975126
Be careful quitting meds. If you quit them you have to taper off. Reduce dosage bit by bit over time. If you stop taking all at once you could have some bad chemical occurence in brain.
Also if you are ordered to take meds and dont have a choice you will have to pretend to take them while you are in fact tapering off and quitting them.
Be careful with the med issue because if you quit them in a non-skilfull way and people find out you could even be more medicated then before so be careful.
Dont worry about exorcising yourself too much just avoid drugs and get yourself some proper sleep and nutrition for awhile eventually it will go away on its own.
>>16975141
What about ERIS?
>>16975133
nice try, tomoko
>>16975142
thanks for the reality check, I guess I'll talk about it with my doctor
>>16975170
she gave me pic related
>>16975187
Can't blame a god for trying.
Wait. I guess you can. Huh.
>>16975249
if you were the true god i'd worship you but it seems unlikely that all world religions are false except a cult on 4chan's /x/...
Op is mentally unstable
>>16975351
I don't know why that seems unlikely. It makes a ton of sense if you factor in time travel and global demographic information.
>>16974521
i know someone that had a similar experience
by the third hour I had seen the fjords, contacted the guys from IT and become a master of sex
Are you still here OP? I have a big long thing to write up for you but don't wanna bother if you're gone
We have a similar story -- right down to degenerating eyesight and being interested in opening the third eye to compensate
This sounds like something that happened to me
Down to the APing, lucid dreams, weird yoga shit that was unconsciously performed
Different drug, (maybe) different entity, though
It's still here but the empathy, the lucid dreams, the 2easy meditation are gone
It didn't want me to do anything, or rather I believe it did but I resisted doing them, yet I was still hooked before the thought of distrusting it crossed my mind
I'm not sure what to make of it
Whether it was me all along or something else
So much confusion
I feel worse now than before it happened
Now whenever I do said drug I see horrible things
You should roar at her next time
Butches love roaring
>>16975170
hail discordia
>>16974557
that picture really rustles me
>>16975854
OP here. I'm interested if you're still around
>>16974557
http://www.ascensionhelp.com/blog/2013/08/23/why-i-am-no-longer-a-light-worker/
Faggoty roleplay shit again.
