>kissless virgin throughout high school
>pined after oneitis all my days
>got my first kiss and a blowjob from her after graduation but never had a real relationship
>met first girlfriend at college
>at first, it was mostly a casual thing
>but then i took ayahuasca and learned the importance of love
>still, i decided to test that love by breaking up so we could see other people
>tbqh, i wanted to date at least one other person before settling down
>she was also super clingy and annoying
>so i dated one other person
>and i got bored
>but my ex-girlfriend didn't want to take me back after i hurt her the first time
>so i got deeper and deeper into spirituality and psychedelics
>and met a girl at a rave who shared similar views
>before long we were dating
>but i wanted her to work out with me and she thought i was calling her fat
>besides i always got annoyed by her beta orbiters criticizing me
>broke up and had my heart doubly broken
>saw a few other people
>mostly casual flings
>until i slept with this really hot but annoying girl
>and she fell deeply in love with me
>can't love someone as annoying as this new girl
>and yet she's infiltrated my friends group and i am forced to see her nearly every day
>feel like i have some sort of heart chakra blockage which prevents me from loving truly
>it also seems like broken people are magnetized toward me
>could there be a spiritual reason for this?
>why are all the girls who like me so annoying?
>is this punishment for my shallowness?
>i just want to find true love
Is this a joke, this is sarcasm right? This is a joke about hypocrisy and not being self aware right?
Have you considered that you might be an asshole?
You're definitely just a narcissistic prick. Yup.
>>16955683
>>16955703
>>16955755
What am I doing wrong? I try to meditate and be a nice person :(
I like you, I'm sure the next one is the one.
>>16955777
Meditating occasionally isn't going to make you nice. In order to be truly good you must be constantly mindful of your thoughts and actions. What is your true motivation for thinking or doing something?
The reason you aren't meeting your own standard of what is good, is because you are not searching for genuine insight into why you do what you do.
>>16955804
How do I attain genuine insight into my true motivations? I tried to be as honest as possible in my original post. What does mindfulness look like?
>>16955793
Not sure if serious or not but if so thanks.
>>16955683
>>16955703
>>16955755
You assholes do realize that real sex and real relationships, not the kind you see in movies in your basement, often entail decisions we are not necessarily comfortable making, right?
Have you dickheads ever even talked to a girl?
Stay strong, OP. Your story was the most poignant and beautiful story I have read all day.
>>16955837
To be mindful you should start by examining your perceptions. What is annoying to you? Why is it so? If you really want to have something special with somebody, you should stop looking and focus on living a healthy life with a clear conscience.
>>16955837
oh I was serious, just keep living. don't worry about the past.
>>16955841
Thanks, I guess. Hard to tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
>>16955859
I find it annoying when people try to change me. Idk. I guess I should also stop trying to change others.
>>16955895
You seem to have a good heart OP. Try to remember that everybody is trying just as hard as you to find a place. Nobody is the same all the way thought life, be sure to seek opportunities to grow in positive ways. Best of luck
>>16955922
Thanks. I feel somewhat better now. I just feel like I'm broken somehow sometimes hence why all my friends seem to be broken too.
Your heart chakra doesn't automatically attract love and that's pretty retarded desu.
Look at your birth chart. Which planet rules your seventh house? Work on the chakra related to that planet or work with the planetary energy directly.
>>16956046
How's that retarded? It makes sense to me.
Found a birth chart online. What's my seventh house? This is the info it spat out:
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Time unknown
Sun Cancer 8.39
Moon Libra 17.26
Mercury Cancer 6.11
Venus Gemini 6.46
Mars Aries 21.49
Jupiter Cancer 19.14
Saturn Capricorn 23.02 R
Uranus Capricorn 7.33 R
Neptune Capricorn 13.19 R
Pluto Scorpio 15.10 R
Lilith Scorpio 26.35
Asc node Aquarius 7.34
>>16956070
You need the exact (more or less) time of birth. That determines the houses in your chart.
Your Saturn is assraping your Mars btw.
>>16956081
What exactly does planetary assrape entail? I'll try asking my mom about what time of day I was born sometime later tonight and then I'll get back to you with the full houses.
There's some serious disinfo in this thread. Don't try to figure out your motivations, as it is desire for knowledge which will only slow your development.
Don't judge yourself for being annoyed by this girl, and don't judge her. Just sit with it, and keep doing the hard work of the practice. Don't acknowledge praise or criticism. You know what to do OP, so do it.
>>16956113
Also, I seriously question how much meditation, chanting, etc anyone who starts talking about planetary charts is doing.>>16956113
>>16956091
>What exactly does planetary assrape entail?
Impossible to know without the houses. They basically give you all the practical stuff relating to your life.
For example, if Mars rules your 7th house and is aspected by Saturn, that causes problems with relationships.
>>16956121
Haha. Too true. I guess as I progress somewhat further into the path I realize I got into it for all these selfish reasons and now that I'm traversing it I find it's not what I originally sought.
>>16956113
>Don't try to figure out your motivations
Bad advice, bad man. The virtue of the third eye is to know the motivations of self and other. Shut up, satan-whelp.
>Don't judge yourself for being annoyed by this girl, and don't judge her. Just sit with it, and keep doing the hard work of the practice. Don't acknowledge praise or criticism. You know what to do OP, so do it.
You should not teach anyone. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
>>16955648
just sounds like you're very, very young to me. the vast majority of young people seem to think/"feel" similarly to this, or at least interpret their feelings and lack of experience(which for whatever reason they see as "experience", which is generally is not) similarly. just be patient dude! you have all the time in the world. you'll find the "right" one yet, we all go through something like this. it's called life. meditation and psychedelics are great but they are no replacement for life experience, personal growth/evolution.
> inb4 "lol im 24"
> my point exactly, friendo! =)
>>16955999
lol... it's the human condition, my friend! not "just" you =) life is not easy!
>>16956129
erm .... but he's already aware that he has relationship issues. how is this information going to be helpful? I'm all for astrology - grandma(the woman who raised me) was a practitioner - however, OP has already gathered this.
>>16956264
>how is this information going to be helpful?
If his Mars is weak and is the cause of his relationship troubles, he can invoke Martian energy or work on his second chakra to fix the problem.
>is this punishment for my shallowness?
Yes.
OP if you're attracting annoying ones, you must also be annoying. This is the law of attraction.
>>16956129
My Mars is in Cancer, 8th house. What's this mean?
