Hey there /wg/. I was wondering if anyone was interested in having a recurring general discussion thread where we could just talk about whatever is going on, wallpaper related or not. It's hard to find a board as mature as /wg/ anywhere on 4chan, and I really liked reading the "Tell Me About Yourself" thread a couple weeks back. Worth a shot?
Pic is my wallpaper for the week.
>>6560916
While I'm here, I might as well post a few papes.
>>6560917
>>6560918
>>6560919
>>6560920
>>6560921
>>6560923
>>6560924
>>6560931
>>6560934
I just put a usb in and saw some very important files are missing and I'm trying not to have a panic attack.
>>6560944
Oh fuck. I know the feeling. I lost some really important pictures recently, so I got pretty paranoid and made a huge backup of all my family pictures and videos. Hope you sort things out.
Can I shoot you guys my situation?
It's a weird sensation but I don't really feel passionate towards anything much these days. I'm almost finished with my 3 year bachelor degree, which has consumed a large portion of my time over the past few years, but other than that I feel like I don't have many 'hobbies' that I can really invest myself into.
What do you guys think? Anyone relate? Any general comments?
Have a few papes for listening. <3
>>6560916
Good idea, OP, I like the vibes here too
>>6560965
Could be an early onset of depression.
I've been dealing with it for years now and I remember that was one of the first signs.
Or you could just be needing a change; go out and travel for a bit or something once you finish.
Or it might be you getting nervous from finishing your degree. Life changes a lot after school so some people get antsy and it affects people in lots of different ways.
Either way just keep your chin up and something will show up.
>>6560946
Thank you. I'm trying some things. Have you tried Recuva?
>>6560977
I feel like it might be too. I'm studying nursing, so like, I've had my fair share of experience with depressive symptoms and it's frustrating to say that I'm starting to get them myself. That being said, a change of scenery might be good. I'm not really sure where to go though.
Hey guys, my girlfriend and I aren't really feeling happy around each other anymore. I want to stay with her, but I hate it because she's constantly depressed, she pushes her friends away from her and no matter how much I try to cheer her up, she remains depressed. Help or advice?
>>6561049
don't give her up man
>>6561049
That's a rough situation, dude. To be honest you shouldn't stay with someone who's constantly making you feel shit, and the fact that things used to be good doesn't change that. But you also shouldn't break up with someone just because they're going through a tough time; you have to find the right balance there. How long have you felt like this? How likely is it that you will stop feeling this way in the future? Do you feel trapped?
>>6561049
oh anon, i'm sure you mean well but you can't just cheer away depression. you should try and talk to her about going to her doctor, they could refer her to a psychologist/psychiatrist if they deem it necessary.
>>6561049
I'm on my phone and have no papes, sorry. I dated a girl who is bipolar for 5 years dude. The best thing I ever did was spill the beans about EVERYTHING to her mom. My gf was suicidal when I did, she stopped talking to me, but it saved it her life. We went another 5 years not talking, but have recently regained contact and she's a hell of a lot better, and is happy and uhm "appealing" to me once again. I know the struggle, tread lightly and just keep YOUR head up :).
I'm currently in a very tumultuous relationship with a married woman who wants to leave her husband but won't. I'm an epileptic and had a couple seizures in early April (exactly a month ago). After those seizures something changed in me, I'm on a health kick. I've always been big, but maybe in the past year I've lost 50lbs (10+ since my recent seizures). I do cardio in the morning, and boxer style bodyweight exercises at night. Those recent seizures really changed me and it's a bit scary, I get confused a lot and can't understand people when they talk fast.
Oh well, just have to keep trucking on, right?
>>6560916
for once. OP is not a faggot.
>fuckyeah.webm
<3 big love to op today
op i love you, lets chat. what are your thoughts on the canadian economy?
>>6561254
I've heard its pretty stable. I've always wanted to visit. I've got friends in Toronto, so that's on the list. All I really know about Canada is through Scott Pilgrim.
>>6560944
>>6560946
YES! I found them! Thanks OP, you were my lucky charm!
>>6561296
where were they?
>>6561049
Yikes. That's rough. I think the most important thing is that you stick with her, and continue to show support. Mad respect for trying your best.
>>6561300
On the HDD.
But really you should try Recuva still.
How does anyone else manage living with parents/being at their pc all the time?
I study compsci full time, and either work on projects or play games literally the entire time I'm here, apart from coming out for food.
They really are starting to hate me for it, but I can't see how I'm doing anything diabolical, I even go out drinking/socializing with friends once every week or so and make my own way in pretty much everything.
I'm tired everyday from commuting/university work, then I play games most of the night and sleep until the afternoon on my day off. Havn't even skipped a single class this semester because I dislike being at home alone with my mother as she just tells me to get out of my room.
Am I failing to see something wrong with this situation, or are my parents being a bit stingy, as I suspect?
Also, I did mention to them a while ago that I would rather be living in a student house with other compsci students than stay here, but it's financially stupid to move out right now so that might have triggered them.
Sorry for the wall
>>6560916
Normally I'm opposed to off topic threads, but I think you make an extremely valid point
That and how is a thread off topic if it's literally about the board itself
>>6561076
Adding on to this. How long has she been depressed? Ditching somebody because they're having some rough months is shitty but if this has been going on for several years... Sometimes people won't get better no matter how much help they receive because they simply won't help themselves. At a certain point you have to think about your happiness as well. Best of luck.
OP here. Just got off from school.
>>6561254
Thanks! Never been called "not a faggot."
>>6561357
>>6561300 isn't OP. Unfortunately, the photos were physically lost. But thanks for letting me know about Recuva! Going to be useful in the future!
>>6561384
I'd recommend moving into some sort of student home or frat. If you find a place with a couple of friends, the cost comes down individually. My parents have made some of their best friends in life from living off campus. You never know who you'll meet. I've known people who bunked with European princes and future millionaires.
>>6561384
I'm in exactly the same boat anon--I'm a recent graduate, spending a lot of time on the computer because I'm looking for full-time job postings that I'm qualified for. Problem is, around here it's hard to find full-time work if you didn't study law or computer science, so it's a slow process. To compound it, I work overnight shifts part-time, which means my sleeping cycle is all kinds of fucked up, so I get lectured almost daily about how I'm lazy for spending all day on the computer and sleeping in.
Only thing I can do is grit my teeth and bear it, because I'm not financially stable enough to move out yet, even with a shared housing arrangement.
>>6561590
Yea it's a real pain in the ass for people who find themselves in situations like this. Apart from me sleeping into the day because I stay up at night and other stuff my parents disapprove of, I've realised I simply don't like it here anymore.
It's in the countryside, quiet and nice in the summertime but a pain to commute to university each day. One of my brothers has left, leaving me here with just my parents when I'm home. I am approaching the stage where I'll want to just leave as soon as I can, but at the same time I keep telling myself if I can just grit my teeth and try and bear it for a few more years, I'll be much better off financially. But I doubt I'll last much longer.
I used to love it here, but I feel like if I stay here any longer I'll get left behind. Some of my friends are living in different countries, and I'm still sitting here in my parents home banging my head against the wall when I get lectured for sleeping in on my days off, or pulling an all nighter to meet some deadline. Oh, and my parents are pretty much both high school dropouts, both of them seem to look down on any form of tertiary education, which is backwards as hell.
Help
>>6561683
>>6561590
I'll just float this out to both of you because I was in a very similar place a few years ago. Try to learn programming. That probably gets talked about all the time here but it really is possible. My co workers used to make fun of me for being a Luddite because I didn't own a computer or even a phone. Then my mom gave me a $300 crap laptop for Christmas. I used it learn HTML, CSS, and a bit of PHP. After 6 months of self study (honestly, you could cut that in half if you aren't lazy) I landed an entry level position. The job market is unbelievably hot. I just passed my year and a half anniversary with the company and I get 2-4 hits a week from recruiters trying to pull me to a different company.
Try Code Academy. Its free and will give you an idea if you have any interest in the field.
>>6561703
I've looked at taking courses at the community college near me, but haven't committed to anything because there's such a huge array of IT courses that I don't know where to start. I'll give Code Academy a look, thanks!
>>6561703
I'd love to get into coding. I keep starting different languages, then dropping it for another language. I've tried Python, C++, Obj-C, but nothing sticks. I'm pretty proficient in writing shell scripts and some basic HTML and CSS but that's pretty much it. I've been looking at NodeJS and Electron as options, since it can be used on the web and desktop. Every time I start a new language, I feel like I'm making a mistake spending time on that. Is there a future for desktop software development, or would it be smarter to focus on web development?
>>6560965
I'm a collegefag with similar problem. Whats been working well for me is I'm just trying a bunch of stuff out, mostly sports (judo, triathlons, just biking, lifting, etc) for like 3 months at a time before switching. Beginning new stuff is always fun, and there's always the chance I find a lifelong hobby
>>6561713
I'm a compsci student, and from my internship, as well as discussing with other compsci kids, for backend work, I'd recommend learning SQL. That shits everywhere. As well, I do believe there is a future for desktop dev, but the programs are generally gonna be massive, and you'll have to work with a team to make em. C++ is a good one to learn for that, as it is common and probably one of the hardest, so learning new languages after will be a cakewalk.
>>6561708
Code Academy is great. Try their web development courses first. HTML then CSS then JavaScript. Web dev is the field you want to aim for for a few reasons
1. Lowest Barrier to entry
2. Hottest Job Market
3. Excellent Future - what isn't on the web?
>>6561713
I'm a full stack JavaScript dev and work with Node extensively. JavaScript is THE language right now. Its the only language of the web and with node its finally on the server. There really is no future for desktop programming but more importantly it would be much harder to get into.
1. The tech used in desktop apps is harder to learn
2. Demand is much lower
Knowing shell scripting and having familiarity with linux is a definite plus but its really about knowing at least one in demand programming language AS WELL AS the popular frameworks and tools used with that language. For example, JavaScript is the language I use and Node.js and Angular.js are the frameworks. If you have foundational understanding of those technologies, if you can build simple applications with them, you are GOLDEN.
Also, for the love of god learn git.
Once you work through some of the courses on Code Academy if you're still interested try Code School or Team Treehouse for a more in depth treatment. They are paid but its like 30/month and completely worth it.
I'll bite. I've been a lurker on this board for years, I've only ever contributed or posted once or twice. I don't use social media whatsoever, and I don't really... interact with society at all. I have no motivation for anything, mostly because of severe depression, but I also have a crippling sense of alienation. I have a fairly rare personality disorder, called AvPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder), and it sucks because unlike mental illness, I know it'll never go away or have a lapse or be helped. I'm stuck this way forever.
Part of what's involved is being averse to touch sensation (in my case I'm EXTREMELY averse, it's not at all pleasant when I come into physical contact with people), never ever thinking you'll be good enough, no matter what you do, long bouts of escapism and receding into a fantasy world instead of making connections in the real one, etc. etc.
It also makes you prone to disappearing. I've disappeared from people's lives because of fear of intimacy, fear of touch, fear of human interaction... What sucks is that a huge part of the disorder is craving and desiring and desperately needing that human affection and intimacy, but never being able to receive it because that self-loathing, utter self-hatred and that crippling fear and those awful sensations of physical touch will never go away.
>>6561800
Wow. I can't even begin to understand how hard that must be. Stay strong.
>>6561808
Thanks, friend.
I've basically committed myself to my animals. I have no hope whatsoever I'll ever be able to find love in another human being, or continue a meaningful human relationship (whether it be friendship or romantic), so I keep a lot of shelter animals. I have an emotional support service dog and he helps a lot.
>>6561800
Damn I'm sorry for what you're going through right now, I'm been introverted as hell since 2014, but I don't know if I can compare it to what you've got going on. If I could live in my room forever, I probably would, no motivation to leave. But at the same time I'm pretty happy when I'm alone, since I'm usually learning some language/playing something/watching something. But I probably would have killed myself by now if I didn't have friends to talk to everyday.
>>6561154
Truck on, my friend. Good thing you did, I hope everything works out for you
I'm currently at the end of my second university year and I'm convinced I've failed my course, and I don't have the emotional energy to retake the year. It's been so stressful but I don't know what else I'd want to do, so I just keep working and hoping it'll all work out and be okay.
I'm basically just avoiding my problems, it's what I've always done. I dropped out of sixth form, would've dropped out of college if it wasn't such a doss, I've just been constantly running away from shit instead of facing it head-on.
Seeing some of the anons in this thread really puts it into perspective, though- some of you guys have it so bad and you keep at it, it makes me realise I'm just being an immature pussy about this stuff.
God bless this board, you guys are the only people on this site with any actual chill.
Not sure if I can even reply on the level I am attempting to, but I will give it shot
>I don't use social media whatsoever
Neither do I. By choice. Don't worry about that
>no motivation for anything, mostly because of severe depression
Been there.
>crippling sense of alienation
Currently fighting this
>long bouts of escapism and receding into a fantasy world instead of making connections in the real one
I have wasted an entire semester in college doing this (for me it was videogames). You can recover, but I had to commit to never do so again once I realized how much time it took out of my life. Not as hard to stay away as I thought it would be, and it actually seemed to get easier with time. I actually don't feel the same way about gaming anymore.
>craving and desiring and desperately needing that human affection and intimacy, but never being able to receive it because that self-loathing, utter self-hatred and that crippling fear
That's strange! I actually had an experience recently where I actually felt afraid of being alone (previously I have always embraced isolation). It seems now that I face something similar, although mine stems from some self-hating and fear of hurting people (I've had some...violent behaviors in the past).
>never ever thinking you'll be good enough, no matter what you do
Left this one for last, because it is something I am still trying to accept. Remember that it doesn't matter how other people judge you (most of the time they are focused on themselves anyway), but it is what YOU think about youself. As long as you recognize your own effort, that your holding on, trying to become better, that's all that matters.
I can't relate to the touch thing, but from what I read, their are ways to get better. I do not know if you suffer from thoughts that don't leave (like me), but it is a matter of perspective. You can do this!
Sorry, this (>>6562118) was a reply to this (>>6561800). Have another pape folks!
>>6562104
You are probably more mature than you think you are. Like >>6562118 said, it's a matter of perspective. It's not a matter of who has it worse if the problems are not your own. They will appear worse or better from your mental point of view. I myself can relate to the running away from problems thing, and only during this semester (I'm also in college) have I slowly started to allow personal change to occur.
Don't beat yourself up. Years from now, you'll see it couldn't have occurred any other way.
>>6562121
Thanks man.
You're right, I jut need some perspective. I'm gonna use this summer to sort myself out so I'll be better equipped to deal with what's in front of me.
>>6560916
>mature board
>/wg/
pick one, /wg/ only seems mature because we rarely stray from just talking about papes and how we feel about them. Just look at any politics or vidya thread to see that the board is just as pleb as the rest of the site, myself included.
I like the idea of a /talk/ tho, sounds cozy.
>>6561049
>I try to cheer her up
Sounds odd, but this may be your problem. I'm surprised how many people still think this, but depression isn't just being really sad about something, it's a physical and mental ailment, a symptom of any number of things. If it's brought on by a specific stress or set of stresses, removal of those stresses can help it go away, but it really just needs to go away on it's own or with the aid of either a professional or someone who has a lot of experience with depression or depressed people. You can certainly provide a low-stress environment and do things to help her, but the methods people think of for just cheering someone up who's sad won't work, and often they'll just make the depressed person more stressed/pissed.
I know a lot of people will say that at a certain point you should look out for yourself and move on. To some extent that's true, you don't have a responsibility to put yourself in a shitty situation for someone else. But the lives of people who suffer from depression often become a list of former loved ones who "looked out for themselves" and bailed, unable to deal with what is admittedly a difficult thing, especially when you've never gone through it yourself. But if you really love this chick, and it sounds like you do, I'm positive you can find the strength.
Only universal tip I could give is to give her as much space as she needs, she only pushes people away because she irrationally feels trapped and can only associate that feeling with the people around her. Just remember that nothing she does is meant to hurt you (she probably isn't emotionally lucid enough to do this even if she wanted to), she's probably as distressed as you are about the whole thing as you are on the inside, and that she's no more in control of the whole thing than you are. Safe travels, friend, I'm rooting for you two.
>>6562139
this board feels like fucking reddit, sometimes it's almost as bad as /wsg/ or /news/
>>6562208
/wg/ is more reddit than /wsg/, which is basically like what /b/ was circa 2009. The amount of unironic ":)"s I see makes me cringe.
>>6562210
depends on the thread. Threads like this are useful for some people
>>6561154
>knowingly being the other man
absolutely gross dude
>>6561154
I don't mean to judge you, but I agree with >>6562260, that's pretty fucked. Plus, with your seizures and loss of focus, it might be a good idea to not be involved in a stressed situation like that for purely practical reasons, if "not being a scumbag" wasn't enough. Again, I'm no saint, but you're actively contributing to the worsening of someone's life so you can get your dick wet.
Have a pupper, maybe it will help you think about what you've done }:^|
>>6562210
Honestly no, /wsg/ at times reads like youtube comments
I just stopped going there
>>6562104
Awesome wallpaper. I used to be like this and I totally understand the feeling. I was doing horribly in school and was struggling to maintain a healthy body and mind. I learned to drop the things that were wasting my time, like gaming and television. My advice is that you start writing down what is most important to you, and prioritize your day. I know that it sounds really cheesy, but I got really inspired off of this YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL3ceJenlAw . I learned that I couldn't run forever, and that I needed to face and fix my falling grades, fading relationships, and my breaking family. While you are at college, make sure to make the best of it. I've learned that it only happens once.
>>6562601
Thanks man, appreciate it. Prioritizing my life hasn't really been easy, especially when so many people want so many different things from me. But I've gotta grow up at some point and bring what I think is important to the forefront of my life.
>>6562268
>>6562260
Oh no, this is a completely non-physical relationship. She's told me that she doesn't trust herself around me, but i refuse to sleep with her. Our relationship is completely emotional, shes only with the other dude for purely societal reasons (hard to explain). Both of us have tried to leave multiple times, but we always end up back together. If one day she decides to disappear, fine, and it's the same way with me. We're just living life. *shrug*
>>6561049
Listen to me, my dude. If she makes you happy on a deep level, depression or no, if you love her more than you've ever loved anything, don't let her go. I was married for five years. She was depressed the whole time, but she made my world spin. She still does. I left her. It was the worst mistake of my life. I tried to fix it and it didn't work. Maybe my advice iso bad, but all I know is that the way I feel these days...well, it was the worst mistake of my life. Do what you must, but be careful, friend. It is hard to fix things once you break them. Sorry I have no papes, folks.
Fuck me. I have one of the biggest tests in my life tomorrow and I just spent an hour looking at pictures of crabs. Why the fuck did I do that....
>>6562118
You're right. It is a matter of perspective. But perspective is kind of a big issue for me.
I have multiple issues present as well, the personality disorder is just one thing stemming from the it. I've been acquainted with other people with personality disorders; I knew a girl with ASPD and I've known and couple with BPD. It's a constant struggle, because it's not just a chemical flaw that can be treated, it's how you're fundamentally hardwired.
When I get close to people, physically or emotionally, it starts to feel like this dark cloud of static is swimming over my skin and pouring into my brain. I don't really know how to describe it better than that, since it's a pretty weird emotional and physical experience, but it feels like some kind of choking, inescapable smog. It's pretty fucked up. Sometimes I need to take breaks from petting my service dog because even the strong bond I can have with a critter that's not a person can startle me. My psych tells me its not normal per se, but it's definitely a thing that people with AvPD experience especially after suffering prolonged abuse etcetc...
That other aspect, knowing I'll never be good enough; it's just a fact. People on the Axis II are considered "maladjusted members of society". Mental illnesses like anxiety and depression fall on Axis I, and are widely considered to be illnesses that can be treated, but some psychs have started classifying Axis II not as a personality issue, but as overall adaptation disorders. Medical texts and medical specialists don't have many nice things to say about Axis II.
Sorry if I seem too complain-y... I don't get many chances to vent. And I've accepted my lot in life at this point. I read a lot, and books make me feel a little closer to human society, and just a tad more real. I see too many people struggling to support a depressed partner; someone like me would be too unfair a burden.
Pape semi-related; I love Phillip K. Dick.
>>6561049
Complain-y /AvPD/ poster here; my other post got too ranty to adequately respond to this, but I'd like to respond as I've been in the "depressed gf that's shutting down and pushing people away" situation, and my partner at the time had to deal with it. This was many years ago, and I've grown since then, but back then I was so adamant about rejecting help from someone who was trying to, and she eventually couldn't take it and just left.
I was a pretty awful partner, I just shut down and was so upset all the time that I had a physically difficult time speaking. Eventually it turned out she wasn't the best of people, period, but I think what I needed back then was some serious introspection with just myself for a long stretch of time, and that's what I got.
Sometimes people who have crippling mental issues just need some space, but every single person is different. But anon, have you tried asking her what she needs? Unfortunately, trying to cheer someone up with sever depression is probably going to be a lesson in futility. Has she considered seeing a medical professional? Sometimes talking to a professional can help; and if that seems a bit too detached, try looking for some support groups in your area!!! Support groups can be a better environment for some people since they're talking to people who actually share the same issues, and aren't just a doctor who's well-versed in the issue. Sometimes support groups can offer more empathy, which can help someone feel a little less alone.
Unfortunately, one of the byproducts of depression can be low motivation, so try offering to go with her to a therapy session or a support group meeting. The worst thing about depression is receding into yourself and suffering in silence by yourself rarely helps with any issue.
GL, anon! I'm rooting for both you and your girlfriend. :>
>>6562733
fuck it man
>>6562662
Hm, okay. Still might not be a good idea with your seizures and all, but whatever, you're an adult. Just don't do anything dumb.
Have another pupper, consider it my apology for calling you a scumbag.
>*shrug*
*cringe*
>>6562193
I am a depressed person married to another depressed person, and this is excellent advice.
>>6562240
I wish I was in australia so I could go there
>>6562972
many people see an emotional affair as cheating too. Many would say it's worse than a sexual one. If you were married, and your wife had a relationship with some dude like you have with this woman, would you be cool with it? Most people wouldn't be (from what you describe).
And what is it that you desire to talk about? And odd, yet understandable request. This is a website filled with people eager to insult each other, yet here we stand, in our own little board.
Come, fellow papeposter. Let us share visions and text of other times, and give our minds the much needed rest from all the 4chanery outside /wg/
>>6560965
CONGRATS ANON! the main hobbies I got into was model building; mostly with gundams.
I might start building more now that I'm done with school ofr the summer and need something to do when I'm not working or feaking out over grades.
(wall of the hour)
>>6563014
A strange thread, indeed. I had grow used to the simple yet necessary sentences with which you start threads in /wg/, none of them but a simple line of text. Only in the rarest of occasions, somebody would let out a full paragraph as a reaction to a wallpaper. An appreciated effort, really. Others on 4chan might find it a "reddit-ish" thing to do, but I'm quite fond of those descriptive paragraphs they write, and how they describe their favorite wallpapers with amazing detail.
Long time lurker here. I don't usually post on any board for no particular reason.
Just started lifting and getting proper nutrition and whatnot. Apparently, what a surprise: all it took was one harsh rejection from the girl you really loved. I'm not beta by any standards nor am I alpha; just consider me an unlucky normie. Shit really fucked me over. I plan to move on from her but I guess it's been taking quite some time. Lifting really helped me a lot. I don't lift with the intent of making her jelly, since I really did love her. I just do it for the sake of doing something. I dunno guys, most of you won't give a fuck I guess, but thanks if you listened anyway.
>Pic related, its zyzz and supposedly you
>>6563020
I've had a lovely time, personally. It's nice to have a site that doesn't really pull punches talk to each other in an honest but frank way. I guess it's a small advantage of the territory.
>>6563027
That's cool man. Self improvement is always a good thing, no matter the circumstances. It's strange how we find motivators in the weirdest places, but it helps with dealing with the bad times a little better, imo. Helps rationalize them as character-building rather than just random horrible shit.
Hope you make it anon.
>>6563009
I wouldn't be cool with it, and I still acknowledge that it's an affair. But this anon here isn't acting on it, and that's really the only agency he has beyond getting a restraining order on the chick. Choosing not to fuck her (whether it's because she's married or other reasons) is the right thing to do, you can't help it if you're attracted to someone who's married.
>>6563041
>>6563009
pape didn't post for some reason
>>6563033
Thanks man. Hopefully things will get better for us.
Anyone still here?
>>6563027
I'm madly in love with a girl and I'm aimless
Maybe stuff like this is just destiny, you know?
You'll make it, Anon. Hopefully i'll meet you there, too
>>6563284
If you can love once, you can love again.
Never forget while these things always suck, they build you in the long-term.
Without pain we wouldn't have pleasure. It's not easy at all, the people we love often hurt us the most, but it's life, we are all such unique and amazing individuals, and we shouldn't forget it.
>>6563027
I feel like i should start working out. I'm not fat, but I'm pushing it. I don't exercise, but I eat healthy and stress a lot, which is probably burning some fat. Are there any workout programs you would recommend, or should I just suck it up and sign up for a class at the gym? Also, how do you find motivation to keep working out? I felt like shit after the few times I went, and never wanted to go back.
(On my phone, so here's a phone pape.)
My current pape is usually my biggest motivation. It helps me relativate things and see the beauty in this world that cares so little about us.
It reminds me that it's all just a game.
>>6563292
That's true man. No ups without downs.
How deeper you fall, how happier you can become.
I just want to be in love.
>>6563620
Don't rush it mate, it's worth the wait. Otherwise you would be just filling that void with anyone who came along, not someone who you would truly love.
Love hurts also man. It can be the most painful thing sometimes.
>>6560965
With what a few others have said, try new things. You learn what you like thru that. Biking, lifting, running, video games, painting, drawing, anything really. As long as it's time you enjoy spending, spend it that way. Anime and vidya is one of mine. Hope you find something, anon.
its my b-day weekend and ive never been more depressed.
not looking for sympathy just nice to tell someone
>>6563649
Sorry anon. Why are you sad on your birthday?
>>6561849
People are overrated anyways.
Can anybody recommend a good comedy anime?
>>6563864
I really liked Daily Lives of High School Boys. Give it a watch, it made me genuinely laugh out loud a few times
>>6563247
Yea, what's up pimp?
>>6560965
I can relate. My life is being consumed by my studies at the moment and it's shit. I don't really get excited about much as a result, and it saddens me to think that the happiest I've been these past few months is when I have been home alone playing video games. I'm a pretty introverted person, bad social skills (I'm beginning to suspect I might be a little autistic but I need to research further), don't get out much, don't get invited to parties and only have a small group of friend's who I'm not all that close with.
I suppose with your own situation you just gotta do more stuff. Get out, try new things, do lots with your friends. If you can get yourself into a situation in which you are happy. If you want a hobby, just do everything you can find. Team sports or other activities that get you excited, you have nothing to lose.
>>6561849
Don't lose hope in the finding love part of things so soon anon. The fact that you have a passion for animals says a lot about you as a person. Also, if you keep doing something that interests you, you are bound to meet other people who also love doing said thing. It is highly probable you will find love in your work, cheer up
>>6561800
Is there a test or something that can be taken for this AvPD? I read the wiki article and got the fucking chills. I seemed to have so many of the symptoms. I also know that it is unlikely I have a mental disorder, although I feel that if I did have a disorder I would have something to blame my long history of social ineptness on.
>>6562733
so you could share a cool ass pic of a crab with your buddies!
>>6562104
i have been reading and i feel the same. there have been a couple of odd threads like this on /wg/ lately and they are pretty cool. ive even stopped trawling /b/ for those rare as fuck threads that arent porn or shitposting.
also anon maybe talk to a doctor about hiw you feel. i spoke to mine last year for first time in years (i am 29). i had been feeling like i had lost a lot of drive to actually do anything with myself. not depressed or apathetic, just had no urge to begin to do anything. i started around 24~ and i thought i was going through a lazy phase due but by last year i felt like i wasnt wholly the person i was meant to be. anyway the doc spoke about some traumatic events that may have affected my personality and also some minor head traumas and concussions over the past (from being assualted) and said i might even have some damage to sections of my brain. i am very anti-medication so he planned out a calender of talks with specialists and such, scans, and basically explained it was not uncommon and whatever the reason i could probably get some help. they forgot to call me back so i never started any of it but it sounded really helpful had it actually happened, i would recommend a casual chat with a doctor anon.
anyway to add to the thread, pic is my gf one day when she was having a nap curled in a cute ball. she has an degenerative protein condition (probably mixed that up) and just got a place to live in a city so she can get quality of life treatment and hopefully find a way to stop it. tonight is our last night together in our now empty home as she leaves tomorrow, i really hope i can find a way to move close to her again soon.
shes a gypsy but its ok, i still love her.
>>6562733
worth it imo
>>6562104
>Seeing some of the anons in this thread really puts it into perspective, though- some of you guys have it so bad and you keep at it, it makes me realise I'm just being an immature pussy about this stuff.
I have the same mentality as you on this. I often spend long hours brooding over my own issues but then something will come up on the news about a family whose house burnt down, or child sex slavery etc and I'll snap out of it and tell myself to get a real problem. But you need to realise that although other people may have it worse, that's their problem. It sounds cold, but you need to take care of yourself. No matter how bad your situation is, there is always someone in a shittier situation, and there's nothing you can do about it. Don't dismiss your own problems just because someone else has worse problems, that would be like not going to the doctor about your migraine just because you know other people have spinal injuries.
Focus on your life, deal with your problems. Once you face them, you wont have to face them again.
>>6560944
That feeling is the worst. I had that happen with an important paper once. Turns out I grabbed the wrong usb.
I keep a backup USB on my keychain
>>6560965
>>6560977
>>6560987
Depression comes in a lot of flavors. Disruptive mood regulation disorder, Major Depressive, Dysthmia and premenstrual dysphoric.
The only problem when it comes to saying "I'm showing signs of depression" (or really any type of mental disorder) is that people tend to convince themselves that they actually have the aforementioned disorder.
That being said if I had to choose one it'd be signs of Dysthmia (Persistent Depressive Disorder). Loss of interest. Slow, lasts a while. And you can still function in everyday life. However, you can't really claim that unless you knock away every other possibility.
It might just be that you're lacking interest or curiosity in things. You're a student so it might possibly be not sleeping correctly, or not exercising enough. Your diet could be a huge factor. Alcohol also affects your mood.
Try changing one of the above or try something new. A trip somewhere might be good for you. Or a simple hike.
>>6563620
A younger me thought the same thing once.
When you do find someone. And you will. Remember that they aren't the only person out there. Never stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, just because its comfortable.
>>6563027
>I don't lift with the intent of making her jelly, since I really did love her.
This hurts me a bit, as all my ex ever tried doing was making me jealous both in and out of the relationship.
Life finds a way
>>6564749
holy shit man
>>6561683>>6561590
some families are better together, and others apart. I had the rockiest relationship with my mother right up until I moved out, now we are on excellent terms. I was in the exact same boat as you two too, she hated me being on the computer all the time sleeping all day etc, I think it's a combination of initial concern that turns into irritation because you don't listen.
Also might be a bit of self consciousness, in their eyes it might look like you would prefer to be by yourself in your room than interacting with them. You could try talking to them about it, or I don't know, either way I tell you now my problem disappeared when I moved out.
Met a girl, she was really cool, decided to move into a sharehouse with her and some other people, started to like the girl, kinda sucked cos she liked someone else and I couldn't really get away from the situation as she slept literally ten meters down the hall. Then I decided to stop being a pussy and tell her I liked her. We are now dating. Might get real bad in the future but right now things are awesome. Don't want to devalue the support network thing we got going on here but I thought a story with a happy ending (so far) would be nice.
To everyone having a rough time, this site is living proof that severe introverts and people who are a bit weird are everywhere. Don't be disheartened, and whatever it takes to get through, do it. Nobody knows what you're going through but you.
Life works in weird ways, and there is joy in it to be found for everyone.
>soz for being a fag
Hey /wg/, I'm in a weird situation in my life, and maybe someone can help me sort this out.
I'm currently in high school, and my popularity lays somewhere in the middle. I hand out with the weirder side of the popular kids, but not the full on weebs, and people seem to like me, even though I'm a pretty intimating guy (big, not fat, and an older guy kinda look.) I haven't dated before, but I know of a few girls interested in me. I'm not actively looking for a girlfriend, but I'm thinking of making a move on someone. This girl has expressed interest in me, and has asked me out, and we kinda went out, but not officially. The only thing in my way is that I know that my close friend is really into her. He is this pretty shy, introverted kid, who really digs this girl, and I know it would absolutely destroy him if I dated her. However, it doesn't seem like he is going to be making any moves in the near future.
I don't want to jeopardize my friendship, but I don't want a chance like this to slip. Should I talk to her about this, or should I just let her do her own thing?
I've managed to stay away from drama my entire life, and frankly, have no interest in starting any beef. But, I constantly get told that I should go out with this girl. I really do like her, but I'm too scared to make a move in fear of hurting my friend.
I honestly have no fucking clue on how to handle this situation, and could really use some help.
>>6561049
I was in a very similar if not the exact situation your in a while ago. She ended up pushing me away too, if it comes to that I'm sorry anon, but the girl I was with is happy now. And if leaving me made her happy I have to be okay with that. I'd rather someone be happy without me than be miserable with me. Just let things take their course, there's honestly not much to be done.
Okay where do I start?
I'm going to take my GED somewhere around next week, I didn't really study much. I think I have to up the ante on the studying this, since I don't really know if the test is gong to be really hard or not. I haven't really been in school for about 4 years, but I think I have some confidence in passing the test.
My concern is passing the GED with high scores. I heard you get college credit if you get a certain score which could save some money for when I go to college. That would be great to be honest.
A huge concern is figuring out what to do after getting my GED. I wanna go to college, but I don't know what to major in. I don't wanna pick some crappy major that's going to end with me getting a crappy job that pays like shit.
Another thing is that I don't know what to do with my life. Hardly anything interests me. I love music, but I'm not really good with instruments and it doesn't seem like a practical career money wise. Other than that, I'm not really knowledgeable at anything. I want to be good at something, but I'm just confused at what to be good at. I started learning a bit of code about a week ago, maybe I could a degree in SE or CS (or both if that's how college works). Everyone here is doing something similar I see, and I hate not being tech-savy at all.
I think I'm just looking at things wrong. All I have been doing here so far is just looking for answers, and trying to find careers that pay a lot. I also have been making stupid threads here hoping someone has an answer for me, and hoping something inspires me. I just think I need to find more interests.
Sorry for the blog, but since this is a general discussion thread, I might as well get this off my chest.
>>6565643
I was in the same situation as your friend back in high school. This girl was amazingly beautiful and I was crushing hard for her, but was too afraid to take that next step. I later found out she was getting close to one of my friends and decided to give up and move on. He did talk to me a little about it, but had no hard feelings against him and was even happy for him, since I believe that was his first gf in high school.
I will be lying if I said I wasn't was a little jealous of him, but never did I want to not remain friends, hell I cook for them the day before their prom, so I had no hard feeling against him.
If you want you can bring it up to your friend, but at the end of the day this is your life and you make the best of it. If you like the girl make that step, if you don't encourage your friend, but don't take the backseat because your afraid of what your friend may think. He's making the same mistakes that I did and he'll regret them when he gets older, so stop worrying about others and focus on your own. And besides, no friend is worth keeping if they get mad over this. I'm sure he had many opportunities to talk to her.
>>6565659
Thanks for the advice! I think I'll have to talk to my friend first, and see if he is actually serious about asking her out.
>>65656 worked random jobs from 18 to 22. turned 23 now im working at a dealership. no schooling past highschool. did shit in highschool. get payed decent working on cars. i happen to be good at cars. idk about you. but it worked great for me. never going back to school again. only goes up from here
Hey /wg/ Anyway, ive been dealing with this dilema for a while. There's this girl who i like, she's super awesome and we talked a little bit off and on when i was single and we remained friends when i was dating my girlfriend at the time. During that time i met and became good friends with her relative. Me and my ex broke up, i spent time with that relative and the girl and their family. friendships grew (and continue to grow, they're kind of like another family with me) However the main thing has been going on around me for the longest: Should i try to see and make this friendship between me an d girl something. My conflicts are one, possibly ruining friendship with relatives, two ruining friendship with girl, and three the awkwardness friendship isn't ruined, but now girl knows (if she doesn't already know) that I like her. ive been thinking about it for a while, hanging out, trying to see if girl wants to do something, yet I still feel wrong because I'm not sure the whole rule of wanting to get with a relative of friends. And to make things a bit weirder and more against me, is that me and girl been getting more close since me and her relatives been hanging out.
I don't like where I live. I can't relate to anyone around me, except maybe my mother, who's the only person I talk to these days. I want to emigrate to the US as soon as possible, I've always wanted to live there, and I think it's a fascinating country with great people in it. These threads are rare specks of positivity in the confused mass of exaggeration and circle-jerking that is 4chan, very nice OP.
I'm white. She is black.
I never love black before. But this year, i meet this girl. At first i make joke about this race. And i make this every day.
But one night, i go drink with my bestfriend. And i was drunk (i think is a word, sorry for my english). My bestfriend go to saw his girlfriend after this night.
And this night, when i'm alone, i saw this black girl. We speak, we laught and she in my arms.
Now, this my girlfriend. I love this girl but she is black.
I only see that. When I see my girlfriend I only see a fucking nigger. But i really love this girl but i hate her race
I don't know what to do. Be with this girl or be with someone of my race
>>6568072
hate-fuck that horse pussy and think of it as a way to hate on her race but keep it to ur self
>>6567797
Is the "relative" a girl? If so, i wouldn't risk it right now. I'd see how close you could get to the girl before you finally open up.
>>6568072
You should be with whoever makes you happy, regardless of race. You should be judging people based on their character, not color, and if you do really love this girl, you'll have to look past her race.
>>6568072
Racist vs racist?
>>6568188
relatives are all boys. so i guess that fits in the bro code of things which is why the conflict is pretty up there for me. me and the girl been ind of close but the only times we really hung out with just us was at school. every other time and 99% of our interactions are with the family.
Well... since early childhood I have pretty much just sat on my computer and played video games. I was pretty shy and i always ran away from social contact.
When I turned 18 I realized how stupid all of that was and did a complete 180, sold all the video games and started learning music and acting. Bought a bass, went to acting courses every weekend, but eventually, focused only on the bass playing. Started to play in local bands, bought better gear, started learning music theory, almost never went to school and played all the time. PLAYING MUSIC HAS BECOME MY LIFE.
Two years pass and I'm 20 now. Got diagnosed with heavy tendinitis in both hands. Doctors say it'sfrom the constant years if playing video games non-stop and lack of exercise. Can't use hands... can't find a job because I need hands to work n shit. I can only type w ith one or two fingers. Writing this post for a good 30 minutes now. Can't sing because ribs over diaphragm are deformed from all the lack of exercise when I was growing up...
Most of the time I'm just fucking around with friends. Can't drink because alcohol and coffee worsen tendinitis. Smoke a lot of weed. Write music from time to time.
Hey /wg/
I'm feeling really down these days
I'm a bit worried because I'm having my final exams in two weeks
Also there's that girl in my class that I'm really in LOVE with. I've been trying to get close to her and act nice with her since the start of the year but in was really shy. She used to be really nice with me but lately she's been ignoring me . I think she hates for no reason . I tried forgetting about her and acting the same way she acts with me by pretending that I don't care about her
But it really hurts
>>6568812
That sounds telly depressing
Is there any kind of surgery to perform ?
>>6568870
Well, I can go swimming. The breathing in swimming is going to kind of fix the deformed ribs, but it's gonna take a long time. I'm kind of sick today but I'm going to go buy a card tomorrow.
And surgery? Nope. Even if there was I wouldn't have any money for it. But I think I'm going to swim a lot and exercise a lot. I will do what I can to fix my past negligence and hopefully shape my body into an instrument for playing music.
>>6568847
dude... if you like her, just tell her. Don't be a bitch. No reason to waste your time/energy on this.
>>6568876
I'm so sorry anon
But at least that's some good news.
You seem like a really persistent guy just keep practicing and I'm sure you'll be able to continue playing music one day .
>>6568877
Thanks anon I'll try
It's just that I keep thinking that she's in love with another guy is what's keeping me from doing it
I wanna post in this thread too! You guise are awesome i can tell. I have so many problems they seem to just pile on. Im on mah first year bachleor history and life sucks right now. Im wasted as im writing this so please have me excused. I've got a gf and we've been together for five years now, but we've grown apart, slowly at first, but i've realized that she isn't the one for me. She never gives me inspiration, she's a leech she wants me to listen to all her problems and doesnt give a damn about mine, we haven't had sex for three months and it's like she doesen't even care. There's this lingering fear that it's all me, because im a fuckin idiot when it comes to letting people in to my feels but srsly it's all FUBAR. I need opinions not my own and i should have asked a long time ago. Im failing my exams this semester and im failing at life in general,
>tl;dr please help a lurker out im fucked T_T
>>6568955
Leave her. Don't get caught in a relationship where you are unhappy. Find someone who you care about, and cares about you.
>>6568812
>>6568876
>>6568947
That was inspiring, not facing the injury but I've done the video games thing as well and realized I've wanted to play music. I haven't played video games in six months, I just hope I don't worry about failing at trying something new.
Your story was inspiring. I mean, shit, if you got that to deal with, what am I doing!?
>>6568949
I feel like i'm I'm in the same situation. I really should man up and tell her how I feel.
I've never had a conversation on this board despite having dumped/spent so many time on it, so I just want to wish you guys a good morning/day.
>>6570925
Thanx anon
Have a good day
>>6565655
Not sure if you're still lurking, but if so good luck with your test this week! hope you've been studying. In terms of what to do with life, I (and I assume a bunch of us) am in the same boat. I'll tell you what I'm doing, and possibly you can take something away from it.
I took a programming class in high school, and it was entertaining enough plus they make bank, so I went to my local Community College (wayyyy cheaper than a uni, plus I had a really good teacher) for a couple of years to see if my interest stuck. So far, its been going pretty well. Not everything catches my obsessive interest, but its a big enough field to where I imagine there's something involving CS that I won't mind doing 8 hours a day. I'm about done with my associate's and am transferring to a uni to get a bachelor's in the fall.
Idk if that helps at all, but that's my path so far. Comm college was def a good idea imo for the unsure, if you take anything from this
To leave on a note, if you end up doing some Comp Sci, don't get overwhelmed with what everyone here or other places can do, it's a definite struggle of a subject, and RTFM is always the answer.
>>6571756
If I were to go into CS, what language should I start learning now?
>>6571814
Pic related should answer your question
>>6561384
I guess you could try and have a sit down conversation with them. I don't know your relationship but you could try and explain to them about how computers is your passion and you being on your rig every day is just you putting in your hours into your career. Best of luck.
turning 21 this year and I realized how I've just been coasting along my whole life. Never had to make any decisions because I just followed orders for years.
This year is really my "last try" to say; I don't really have any desires to go to college, but I'm gonna go back full time while I'm living with my parents.
Going to the gym now and try to eat more (skeleton) too
Maybe if things stay dim I might join the military, or maybe just buy a 1-way ticket to Eurasia somewhere. Trying to fight the urge to off myself honestly
>>6573773
go to coolworks.com. youre welcome.
>>6572569
Oh sweet. Thanks.
>>6560920
what is this from
So well I'm about to move in with my gf
I'm scared but also happy
Life's good sometimes
I can't wait for summer I want to lie on grass and watch stars
How you guys doing
>>6576003
Fuck the owner of the house we wanted to rent is now saying he is going to rent it to turists instead
Life sucks sometimes
life feels good once again after a long period of unhappiness
>>6565610
>To everyone having a rough time, this site is living proof that severe introverts and people who are a bit weird are everywhere. Don't be disheartened, and whatever it takes to get through, do it. Nobody knows what you're going through but you. Life works in weird ways, and there is joy in it to be found for everyone.
Thank you
>>6576698
Nice. Shit seemed like it was falling apart for me last semester but now it seems like things are going to get better. We're all gonna make it
Life is going well, cant complain. Hope everyone on /wg is doing well also
>>6576652
nice pape
The owner of my appartment is going to raise the rent up to %50, so i'll be looking for a new place on July. Life sucks indeed.
Good luck with your search
I was able to get a girls number and I set up a study date. Did this all in a day and I know she has mutual feelings of attraction so i think this will go well
I dropped out of college due to depression a couple years ago. I thought a lot about suicide in the months following, the worst time of my depression. For about two years I felt like nothing changed. During that time my brother had a manic episode, and that really changed my perspective. I didn't want to live the life he was living. I wanted to get my shit together and become a real person. I started working out, got a job, and started taking meds. I'm going back to school in the fall. I know that none of the messages about hope that I got when I was really depressed helped me, but I just want to say this: your perspective about life is up to you. Part of depression is the perspective that it won't get better, that you aren't good enough, that it's too hard, and often, that depression makes it impossible to accomplish things. It's a constant fight to stay positive under the duress of mental illness. I often thought that it wasn't worth the effort and that there was no reason to try. My experience has taught me that the way you think about yourself can be changed. Starting to work out put me in a positive enough mental state where I could hold down a job, having the more positive mental state made me able to really understand how important it was not to go back to depression, and motivated me to get medication and start taking classes. It's an upward spiral where each step motivates me to go further. My depression isn't over and this week I have been down, but I know for sure that I'm capable of climbing back out of the hole. For me, my mental health is ruled a lot by my physical state, and working out helps with that, and that it's also determined by having interactions with others, so I try to build both of those things into my life. This post has kinda meandered a bit, but I guess my end message is that you should think about what you can do easily. Once you start taking steps, each next step which seemed insurmountable becomes easier.
Hi anons, I don't have depression or anything really. I just wanted to let you all know I appreciate you guys a lot. This board is amazing simply for the interaction. Thank you all, keep posting :)
i feel like im on the verge of something, like i could turn and see it right in front of me
but i don't know what it is. i don't know what direction to turn, either
it feels like something important
it feels like something new
it feels like something that will be gone if i don't see it now
it feels like something i might never see
like when you start to have a thought, but get distracted and forget it. then all you can remember is that it was good and you should have remembered it
you want to go back to the thought, but you can't
just like when you wake up from a dream and can't get back
i feel like im tapping my fingers along, drumming, and im about to start dancing
but i don't know what this dance is. is it my life?
>>6575406
Not sure. I got it from a pixel art thread on /wg/. Reverse Image Search would probably pull up the source.
>>6576003
I'm so fucking ready for the summer. My sleep schedule has been fucked up since the start of the year. I'm going to fucking hibernate for 3 months until school starts up.
>>6577276
Nice work man! Hope it went well!
>>6577323
Jeez, never really thought about life that way. Taking small steps. I like the way that sounds. I have had way too fucking much on my plate over the past few months, and I really need to start breaking my life down into smaller, short term goals and manage my time better.
>>6577328
Love you too, bbe
>>6577359
Hey, that's actually pretty nice.
I'll make a separate post with all my kvetching.
>>6580412
Here's my kvetch.
I'm so fucking tired. My body is starting to actually slow. I've become so bombarded with other people's work, I can't sleep some nights. The thing is, I'm too fucking nice too everyone. Sure, that sounds arrogant, but seriously, I cannot say "no" to anybody. I do a whole bunch of shit in school and life like theater and video production, and I'm the go-to guy for literally anything. It's really been starting to pile up in the past few weeks, with finals coming up.
I'm spending so much time on other people's work, that I can't do mine, and my grades have been slipping. I realized this about 2 weeks ago, and for the first time all year, I actually said "no" to someone. I felt so liberated.
Now I'm worried that I'll lose my position as the go-to guy. I liked having the responsibility, but I couldn't manage the quantity. So yesterday, I said "yes" to almost everything, which was quite a lot of shit.
Today, I had a mini mental breakdown in class. I starting hearing people calling my name, and I would physically tense up. I would look around, and no one was there.
And now I hate to say it, but my life has literally become dependent on memes. Whenever I have free time, I'll browse Reddit or 4chan, hoping to laugh and feel happy. It's like a fucking drug, and it probably does activate some serotonin gland or dopamine sack somewhere.
Maybe I'm just everyone's bitch. I'm just some schmuck who will do their work for free. I hope that's not how they view me.
Well, at least I'm socially blossoming. I have more friends than ever before, and I overcame most of my social anxiety. Plus, things are going well between me and a few girls, so who knows.
Oh well. There's my rant. It's good to finally write this shit out and read it over.
At least I have memes.
i'm in a weird spot i guess but here's my story
I've always been kind of lonely and kind of a misfit, initially in public education (canadian ie. not bad) I was extremely motivated to please my parents and was all smiles, but early on in third grade I sort of broke
Maybe it was just me being a spoiled brat, I have no idea, to be honest. I stopped caring about school. I would feign being sick in order to stay home alone, pokemon sapphire was of greater interest than school.
coming from a family of asian descent, the beatings started becoming more and more severe. nothing against my parents, i love them to be honest, but they are traditional in some ways, and i think it was in the fourth grade after refusing to do a poster and receiving a phone-call from school that i started to make a habit of lying, often unconsciously. i'm sure there's a term for it; kind of like kleptomania, but with lies. I started putting up a front, feigning a care for life but in reality wishing myself in a better place. indulging in any form of fiction i could get my hands on, although it mostly consisted of video games.
this dearth of motivation and front continues until about one month into sixth grade, where consequences start coming in. I receive my first D, and i'm sort of shell shocked. I almost fail and get held back a year but my teachers know that i do have some sort of talent that's being unrealized because i'm being too much of a brat and too lazy
anyhow i manage to pass sixth grade and proceed to middle school/junior high, which is grades 7-9, basically following in my older brother's footsteps who is basically my silent guardian although i've been an asshole to him up until last year basically but we'll get there
junior high is somewhat bigger than elementary, and i'm introduced into the homeroom system. in elementary you'd be with the same class all the time anyway but you'd know everybody because of recess; cont in next post
>>6580431
i suppose another interesting note is that the elementary and junior high are on the same road so basically all the people in my class are the same people
on that note i try to reconnect with old 'friends', can't because we have nothing in common other than where we came from, basically get pushed along the current
crave meeting new people that i can relate to but dont realize it just yet, all of junior high basically goes like this
graduate and go to the high school that also happens to be on the exact same road lmao
after 10th grade there i realize that my life really fucking sucks but i wasn't depressed just bitter
attend a tedx event in my city as i was enrolled in a leadership class, met a girl from a high school for academic elite in city that needed to write an exam to get in (very atypical, only one that i know of i think), thought she was cute, but i'm socially awkward as fuck so i try to talk to her and it's extremely awkward because it turns out she's just as much of an introvert as i am except she goes to a school full of them
interested in the school (i could have applied in 9th grade but didnt), i apply over to this school for 11th grade, my built up facade starting to crack under the pressure of many long years
write the entrance exam and get in, academics being kind of trivial because school was real easy, although i was real concerned that i wouldn't get in and would have to face my old 'friends'
at this time i also coin a term or more likely read it somewhere on the internet which is 'friends by proximity'; ie friends that you can only call friends because of some physical association, like a school. might have some things in common like a video game or a music taste but other than that you could die and they'd shake their head and say 'for shame', at best
back on topic (ironic for the board i guess) i get into the school. pace of the story will slow down immensely henceforth, since i still go here. continued;
>>6580434
first two weeks at this new school for the academic elite i spend basically in isolation. however, i completely drop my facade and try to be the 'real me', which is difficult and i feel like a blundering mess but whatever
an old 'friend by proximity' who went to the same elementary and junior high but entered the school in 10th grade like most do basically welcomes me for the first two weeks, im really grateful to her for that; nothing romantic there though because we're relatives somewhere in the family tree
eventually she leaves and i sit around in various places in the school by various little friend groups. this high school is kind of unique in that it's so small (around 400 people at absolute max, including staff) so people eventually start noticing me
i start talking to classmates here and there and eventually find myself in circles of people i can call genuine friends. all honestly intelligent, and i fear that i sound elitist here, but i feel much more in my own element here than i did back any time before.
i am also confronted with the rigor of the academic program. the >90s im used in cores such as math plummet to a 67 on the first unit exam i get, and i'm shocked. however, everybody at the school having gone it before, i find myself locked into a support network as well, and I feel loved.
speaking of which, valentines rolls around and i basically low key ask out the girl i met at tedx, get turned down because she isn't looking anyone at the moment; that's life and just continue on
from there on i start talking to a lot of other people, mostly girls because they seemed the most open about their views on humanity and how human nature works, some hobbes and locke stuff going on here but we just talk a lot basically
i start regularly spending time with many of these people, going out to restaurants with them (once a month maybe but that's certainly more than once per 4 years), getting invited to (quiet) introverted parties; continued
>>6580438
i now realize my story is kind of losing its original purpose and it's getting awfully long winded and shitty so i'll try to be briefer from this point on
grade 11 ends, grade 12 starts
I start having thoughts about how I'm bitter to be leaving these people, that I'll have to go out and be alone again
Start viewing my life under a different lens, find myself lost in thought more often
invite a close friend (female; not tedx girl) for a walk in the woods with me, just the two of us, as i wanted to go take some pictures and have a change of pace, we talk the whole way as we go on our little adventure (photo was one of the many taken on this little adventure; all photos in the story are oc)
i mention how from time to time her parents in the background in our skype calls are frustrated with me, as if they're bitter that i havent' asked her out yet
but i say it out loud and it's super awkward, she replies with something like 'yeah, haha.'
we walk mostly in silence the rest of the way back. i realize i fucked up, we basically return to our little school of academic elite, part ways and dont talk again. although we still have a friendly atmosphere around each other.
i start talking to tedx girl again, pursuing her romantically although not being overt about it. she opens up a bit more and it turns out her older brother is suffering from severe depression and has been leaving home and disappearing here and there, verge of suicide and all. I don't mean to demean the rest of your stories with this anon with this gross oversimplification, but that's the gist what she tells me. He has been going on like this since she was in 10th grade.
understanding, i try to give her some space, but she seems to misunderstand as me not wanting listen, so i keep close and keep chatting with her on and off as i had been before.
story coming to end soon; continued again
>>6580456
university/college decisions start to come up (this is like november ish because of early admissions being a thing)
everybody already talking about how the grade will be splitting ways, get kind of sad but realize that it's a normal part of life and i'm just being a pussy basically
motivational speaker comes in (a very straight forward guy, similar to Gary Vaynerchuk if you've ever heard of him)
i'm motivated to quit gaming cold turkey, proceed to make my life more intentional
drop romance for the most part and start pursuing things that i actually care about like music
however, i struggle immensely as i overestimate my self control, and end up playing video games again. start to feel loneliness again in spite of talking to people all the time. I begin to wonder what part of the formula isn't working.
fast forward to recent two weeks. i quit gaming cold turkey again. I've focused mostly on guitar and music recently, i've performed and I've been talking to girls again, perhaps finding genuine love this time. I'm still at a crossroads between who I really, "love" though. I harbour feelings for tedx girl, the girl from the walk, a girl i've performed with recently in a duet, a girl who i personally admire, and a girl who's extraordinarily humble and just lovable overall, but i feel like all of these little attractions are superficial.
however, I still have lapses of loneliness, in which I feel the closest that I've consciously felt to depressed, although I feel like I'm really just making excuses.
this concludes my story, I guess. I've lost my original purpose and this just ended up being self therapy. if you have any questions i'm down
photo was taken by me on my house's driveway, sitting and staring at the lunar eclipse or whatever-it-was earlier in the year for an hour or so before coming in for dinner and sleeping, waking up to another day in the beautiful life i take for granted
also any advice for my loneliness?
>>6580418
relatable story mate
it seems like people started over-stepping a few bounds with your selflessness. being the nice guy feels great until your whole life becomes being nothing but the nice guy. If you're able to do all these favours, I'm sure you're a jack of all trades and you'll be able to find great success in life.
Maybe try out volunteering at a children's hospital or something, where your helping-people attitude will truly be appreciated, especially by the patients. Or try out some gratifying hobbies that are easy to lose yourself in, like exercise or cooking. As an added bonus, all of these function as legitimate 'excuses' but rather reasons (putting yourself first) to refuse someone asking you for help.
Don't worry too much about having an identity crisis. Being you should come first, mate.
Good luck.
(nice pape by the way)
>>6561800
you know, in a way i kinda envy you, a lot of the time i want to disappear from people and just spend loads of time alone. ive been through periods of pretty ad isolation but when i was alone the only thing i worried about was being alone, when im around people i get worried about all kinds of stupid shit and it actually depresses me a lot more than being lonely.
so guys, i think im in love, or close to it, but i just dont know. ive literally never had feelings for anyone in my life before now so im really not sure if im getting like obsessed with this girl or if it actually means something. if im not with people or doing something that requires serious concentration im usually thinking about her, and whenever she's about, whatevers happening or we're doing is just way better than it would otherwise be. we're pretty close as friends, we've slept together (like spooning) a bunch of times but its never been romantic. i know she likes me a lot but not sure if shes romantically interested.
to be honest the issue isnt really that i want to go out with her, we're both going away for ages over summer to different places so even if i knew i was gonna ask her out i would do it in like September. I guess my question is what does love actually feel like?
>>6561284
i like this
It may seem strange, but I think I may be depressed. I have all the other symptoms except for deep sadness, which initially made me think I got out of depression without meds. I haven't gone to a doctor yet because I don't feel like going outside, but is it really possible to be depressed without feeling sad?
>>6580514
Absolutely. Dysphoria is not a necessary part of depression. If you're experiencing anhedonia (inability to enjoy things/experience pleasure), lethargy, lack of motivation, etc, that could could be depression. Go see a doctor, they should be able to help you
>>6560916
Hello /wg/, I hope everyone's day/night is good and not too being rough to you anons.
I came to see this thread earlier in the day, and tonight I come to add a little story to it.
An anon on this thread said "Never stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, just because its comfortable.".
I have been in a relationship with my best friend for a year and a half. I've known him for around 6 years, and have been in love with him since I was something like 11 or 13. We give each other support, comfort, a shoulder to cry on and a face to talk to ; we both struggle with being suicidal, I have severe anxiety, social phobia, PTSD, have been hospitalized twice in psychiatric services for my own safety and had to drop out of school, amongst other things. I'll not talk about his issues to respect his privacy. I saved his life once.
He's a great guy really, very sweet and comforting, he has helped me through everything, made me feel beautiful when I was simply disgusted with myself.
I did and do everything I can to return the favor, but it has been months now that I just can't feel a thing. I have been in love with him for so long, until recently. Arguments, hurting, deep issues, we both tried and try to fix it as much as one can try to. I'm a very bitter person ; I never quite manage to forgive people ( it goes back to childhood where I still haven't forgiven people for the stupidest things ), and it just has added up and added up and added up until I could feel only bitterness. I tried to keep the relationship up because it is everything I know, this guy is part of my roots. But I wasn't happy anymore. I just wasn't. I don't blame him, I don't like making this choice, but I just wasn't happy anymore, I was just staying in a relationship because it felt comfortable through all the pain. Because I'm scared to be alone, that he'll leave, that there'll be nothing without this relationship, that there'll be no one.
But tonight, /wg/ I broke up.
>>6562104
I just went through graduation ceremonies after 5 years of this shit, only to find out I didnt pass one of my classes and I need to postpone my life for another 6 months minimum RIGHT BEFORE I have to throw my cap and gown on.
This of course is after spending 3 weeks having mental breakdowns trying to get a job lined up so I dont have to drown in my depression at home with my parents anymore, while they are basically unsupportive of any action that doesnt require me to head back home and do nothing until I magically "get a job that requires your degree".
Its really a surreal experience to sit there while people are talking about how all the graduates have worked hard and now get to do whatever they want in the world, with family members and shit watching you from the stands while you just sit there thinking about how youre trapped for even longer and all of the motions you are going through now are a farce.
I gotta say though, these threads always help me remember that while things are shitty, they can always be worse. Honestly though, keeping a semi-Nihilistic attitude has helped me a lot. I literally had to take a knee in the garage in the middle of doing laundry cause a massive anxiety/depression wave hit hard, when suddenly I had this weird thought that one day Im going to get so old I cant even remember this moment. I just had this visual of my old ass self laying in a hospital bed like a vegetable basically brain dead and shitting myself as my heart monitor gave out and for some reason it made me laugh and brought me relief in an odd way.
Just gotta find that niche thing that works with your brain to help you take that step back and go "well this shit is fucked, but theres not much I can do but deal with it I guess" so you can experience all you can before you greet the void with open arms.
>>6560916
So, first of all, I want to say congrats OP for setting up this thread. I really do agree that /wg/ is sort of a safe-haven among the boards were some of us can just be a bit more polite and open in the way we communicate among each other, and its nice to have somewhere to vent/discuss. Ok, enough ball licking.
I've been in a weird head space, more than usual, where I have lost my real drive. The drive that used to keep me up for days, because I was completely invested in some mundane project, which I had just discovered I liked and wouldn't stop until my body would not let me continue. There was a small space in this last year or so where it got better. I would function mostly during the day and sleep during the night. But now I have plumeted head first back into the same routine. I am now on day 3 with now sleep and I feel like a drone whose been unplugged and waiting for its inevitable crash. I sense that its because I'm looking for a new drive in places I've lied myself into be leave I will find, like on one of these boards, or somewhere else on the internet. I just got re-enrolled into college and I was hoping that it would somehow jump-start that notion of personal fulfillment, but the only thing it has done is put so much more stress into my life, and given me more shit to procrastinate. My story is not the craziest, but it really took some fucking rough turn in these last few years. I had some of the most aggressive fights that I've ever had with my family. I was harassed into rehab. Twice. And now I have this fucking college debt on my ass. I'm really tired. And not in a suicidal way or anything, ad least not consciously.
I think what I'm trying to do at this point is to find someone who adleast is going thru something similar. Not for advise or anything, but just to know that someone else, a living being, is going thru something similar. And to let them know their not alone
>>6580418
Hey anon, I'm not sure how similar your story is to mine, as I left out a lot, but maybe look at my... "thing". I've been there and honestly I wish that would have been as far as the rabbit hole went. But I kept plummeting, hoping to someday crash into something, even if it was the floor, but it never came. All I can really say is I hope you get to let go of that shit that won't let you rest. I can't imagine having to conform to acting a certain way to please those around you, or ad least like your not giving them a tough time with your presence. If you need to talk, or just want someone to stay up with, I'm always around, usually after the Sun isn't.
>>6581201
>>6581175
Dude, I had the exact same thing happen to me. 5 years of physics and maths, getting my MPhys, then it turns out I need 1 credit, 2.3% of the total credits. No walking, no ceremony, no parties. I have to come back for a semester as well.
Persevere, we're nearly there. Nothing we can do about it now, just grit our teeth and push forward.
>>6560916
I thought that thread was pretty damn awesome. I poured my heart out in that thread on a whim and I was surprised at the support I got. I even saved the thread for future reading.
>>6577323
Same anon here. I just want to say that I enjoy reading everyone's stories and experiences, even if they are sad, scary, or confusing. In some ways the complete stranger aspect of this kind of thread makes it easier to share, and easier to be truthful, and we all need a place where we can say what we are thinking without any reservations.
Fuck me. I just flunked my math final. I feel fucking horrible. Now to cry and eat for the next 3 days.
>>6567827
where is this anon?
>>6560916
I agree. i dont know what it is about /wg/ but people here seem really level headed.
>>6561384
I'm in a similar situation - compsci student always working on projects or playing video games in my room. My parents don't like it either. Luckily I'm transferring to a different school in the fall and I won't live with them anymore. Just try to get through it man, once you graduate you can move out and do what you want with your life.
I just got done failing out of college even though I had a full ride and could have easily passed. I chose to drugs rather than do work. I don't regret anything though. I met an amazing girl and I have the ability to get tech certifications anyways. I just wish I had experienced all 4 years of college rather than blow everything on the first year.
>>6561384
That's how I live at the moment. My parents are divorced and my mom doesn't mind. As long as I show her I'm putting in effort with my life it's fine. I also had to move to a different city where I don't know anyone to live with her. I'm alone all the time and I miss my girlfriend a whole lot. I miss having someone to hold and love. Her and I talk whenever we can, but its hard to see her because she lives quite a distance away and her parents are ultra conservative and hate me. They hate me because I'm liberal and I do drugs. No hard shit just hallucinogens, MDMA, and Weed. I was straight edge until my senior year of high school and I do my drugs very responsibly. They blame me for her doing drugs even though she did them before she met me. So they don't let me around her and they intentionally make it super difficult for her to see me. You could be worse my man. Just live your life. You'll be free soon enough. Maybe consider pursuing an A+ so you can get a decent job and move out while you're in college.
>>6568072
Hey Anon. Go for a white girl. Preserve your race. If you love the nigger fuck her, but don't knock her up. ex-klan prospective here.
So I just got my first serious girlfriend about 3 days ago, she's great and I love her, but she's going on vacation tomorrow for three months, and right now I'm getting really worried and stressed about that. It's not easy for me to be very expressive about anything and it's hard for me to give affection and it will be even harder now that she will be out.
I don't want to lose her, she's one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me.
>>6586373
Skype her, send her random texts, show her you care. If she doesn't like any of it she's not the one. A girl who truly cares for you will appreciate any effort you show, because it shows that you care.
Well shit, its nice seeing a thread on 4chan that actually makes me want to reply i havent been on a board here in like 3 years. I just troll and find u raugh u ruse threads.
So yeah heres some shit going down in my life.
Im 23, just got screwed out of my job because i had to get a license renewed to work in the weed industry here in colorado. Well without a job i start re applying.
I just moved into a house a the beginning of the month, a friend of mine was staying by him self ina huge 5 bedroom house, it was my last hope i didnt have anywhere else to go since my roommate hadnt paid rent and we were evicted.
my friends house i moved into is addicted to Air duster, like my garage is knee deep in trash bags full of air cans. like the ones you use to clean your computer/keyboard/electronics.
Anyways i wanted to save this guys life, i idolized him 6 months ago when he had everything anyone could ask for, he just relapsed after 7 days of no air cans.
I came home to a demand for rent on our door the day after me and my 6 friends moved in here and had paid him rent.
Hes quite literally living for free off of us and spending our money without a care in the world.
I'm half tempted to beat the shit out of him and hospitalize him to get him off this. What should i do /wg/?
He wont go to rehab, i'm at a loss for words here, this house doesnt even look the same as it did a month ago. it looks livable, and he wants to kick me out because he relapsed.
i dont have anywhere else to go. I dont have the funds to move again..
>>6586662
I got a friend who's addicted to dumb shit too. He's addicted to fucking robotrippin. Like if you're gonna get hooked on something at least get hooked on something, get hooked on something worth it. Anyways even though some people won't take his addiction seriously he need an intervention and if that doesn't work you need to be more forceful. Addicts are addicts. THey don't think straight, they don't see why its a problem a lot of the time. It is, he needs help. Some people are the kind of people who shouldn't do anything and he sound like one of them. You need to decide whether it's worth your effort to get him clean, or if he needs a reality check and to get kicked out. I get that its had to kick out a friend (I've done it) but its what he needs probably. He needs to wake up and see that he has a problem.
>>6586665
forgot to add a pape
About a year ago I was really depressed, all my friends moved away, I still haven't started college, didn't have a job, and my mom's an alcoholic so there was really nothing positive about my life, I'd just not care about anything and play video games.
In May of last year I met a girl who really caught my eye, and ended up dating her. We're still together, and after a year are still extremely in love and very kind to one another; nothing like my past relationships. I found a job that I was unsure about at first, but grew to really like, and am really fond of my new manager, which is rare.
I enjoy going into work, and enjoy the people I work with. I also became a lot closer with someone who used to not really be my friend, and we're actually going to see my favorite band in concert tomorrow, which I'm excited with. I'm moving to a new area of town, which should be a nice change, and really getting into my hobby of photography, even got hired by my mom's real estate agent to do his listings. Thinking about going to school next year as well.
So if shit's looking down for you guys, just keep in mind that you haven't even seen some of your happiest days yet.
I love you all, /wg/
>>6563864
I personally recommend Barakamon and DMC. Very different kinds of funny
>>6565610
I personally know they guy who drew this. Cool guy. I remember when his drawings were normal tier, nowadays he pumps out the coolest shit
What’s Good /wg I hope for anyone that is depressed or going through some hard times that this day is less shitty than usual. This will be my first post.
First of all, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this thread. I saw some tight papes and I was able to relate to some anons stories and it’s nice (even though it sucks for anons) to know that people are going through some rough times like me and are still fighting the good fight.
I've already told my family people about my depression, and how I dropped out of college and why I’ve been wanting to kill myself for a while. Saw a specialist for 8 weeks because they were free.
But instead of going deeper into that (maybe I will later), I'll really tell you guys something I have never told anyone else.
I shitted diarrhea blood twice. Like, I looked down and the water was red, I went in for a wipe, and it became damp with blood. Most of the time whenever I shit after my first couple of wipes sometimes little drops will show on the paper, sometimes there’ll be streaks. It’s been happening for like 4 years now maybe longer and I haven’t told anyone.
>>6586943
Yo that's really something you should get checked out. Like I know it's hard to admit you have problems and it's scary to think what it could be. I don't know you, but I do know that it would be crime for you to be gone too soon from this world. Schedule an appointment as soon as you can.
My situation, eighteen years old diagnosed with Testicular Cancer a month ago; Cut out a Teste and now going through chemo. Wasted 4 years of my life with a crazy bitch because I guess that's my type, finally am free so I have that going for me.
>>6587067
>>6568188
Race is a thing not a fetish. If you feel it's something you have to look past honestly you probably have some of your own problems you have to work through. Like I know it's popular to be racist and shit on 4chan but if we're being real racism hasn't gotten anyone anywhere, and everyone is a better person without it. If you love her for her that's all that matters.
>>6587108
use the fact that you had cancer and you have one ball to get laid. Works every time.
>>6560965
Agree with other anons posting. This exact sensation haunted me as I finished my degree. Ended up pursuing a Master's immediately after finishing in 3 years. Ended up dropping out with three semester left. The culmination of a year and a half depression that set in after I moved away from my college town, and rooming with one of my best friends. I wasn't prepared for the change, and didn't meet it head on. Now I make sure to read, write, sketch, etc. to keep my mind busy. Still quite lonely, but that's simply a matter of going out and being around people. Even if it's only a conversation in passing, or simply being in the presence of others at a park, coffee shop, or bar...it helps your soul. Shit will seem pretty mundane, but just keep trucking, and have your peepers peeled for things that catch your interest. Be they hobbies, people, jobs, travel opportunities, or the wind rippling the grass like an ocean.
Well my situation is a long one, but started with my dad passing almost 5 years ago.
I am 20 now, and ever since then I have been consumed by loneliness and sadness. Nothing has gone right. Dropped out of college, lost the love of my life, got evicted, family split, havent lived with them since, havent had a home since, and moved from place to place, from friends to other family. Now i am stuck living with some family with a a job I hate and no hope for the future.
But for some reason, since my dads passing, I love anything to do with loneliness and anything related. I almost find a comfort in it. Well I actually do find comfort in it. I love overcast days, mist, gray, ambient lonely music, games, tv, movies, art, everything. I actually hate summer and sunny days. Id rather it be cloudy or snowing while I listen to some eluvium with a cigerette and not be bothered by anyone at all. I love games, movies, and art that make me have that feeling as well.
I cant really describe exactly the feeling i get from this, or even the best way to describe what i really mean by the 'loneliness' aspect, but I hope some may understand.
I also started making some ambient music, and finished my first song today. if anyone cares to listen hear is it is.
https://soundcloud.com/hush1234356234234/serenity
plus papes. sorry if they have been posted already.
>>6588740
>>6588741
>>6588743
>>6588747
>>6588754
>>6588740
nice music family
here are some words from henri matisse that it reminded me of:
What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity, devoid of troubling or depressing subject matter, an art which could be for every mental worker, for the businessman as well as the man of letters, for example, a soothing, calming influence on the mind, something like a good armchair which provides relaxation from physical fatigue.
i think about that a lot when i write music (i too am quite fond of rain)
>>6588764
Thank you anon it means a lot.
I really like that quote. It described everything I feel about that subject in a couple of sentences.
What music do you write? Would love to listen.
>>6588740
Wow, I actually really enjoyed that. Shot you a follow. Do you know of any more musicians that make music like yours? What genre would you put this under? Can't wait for more!
>>6586670
It's good to hear about stories that end happy. I'm in a pretty depressing place right now, and it's really refreshing to see that things can turn out for the better. Thanks, man.
>>6588775
Thank you so so much man! Im glad you enjoyed. And all of my inspirations Eluvium, Aphex Twin, Brian Eno, Harold Budd, Porya Hatami, Stars of the Lid, and Fennesz. All i can think of off the top of my head. I can give you some song names specifically as well to get you started.
Eluvium - Remnant Signals
Stars of the Lid - A Meaningful Moment Through a Meaning(less) Process
Fennesz - Tree
Porya Hatami - River
Aphex Twin - Rhubarb
>>6588789
Just remember The Town - Sawako is very good too
>>6588765
np :3
https://soundcloud.com/user-731315194/a-song-for-summer
is something i've been working on, uploaded it but i'm not sure i want to call it finished. idk what else i want it to have, and i haven't been writing much music lately
>>6588789
Sweet. Checkin 'em out now.
>>6588793
I really like that anon. I honestly dont think it really needs much else at all. Liked the little melody in there with the ambience in the background. You should definitely start writing again!
>>6586670
Wow, that really made me think about everything differently. Thank you anon.
>>6588799
Awesome hope you like! And forgot to say the genre haha but its Ambient music
>>6588811
thanks senpai , that's quite encouraging to hear :)))
>>6588826
No problem at all! :)
>>6568072
>I'm white. She is black.
No, no, no, just... no. The proper frame of mind is:
>I'm Human. She's Human.
And nothing else matters.
>>6561849
Thats pretty sweet tho, animals are dope
Stay strong anon!
About to leave for my grad ceremony(high school), can't wait to get this shit over with since we'll be out in 90 degree F weather in big stupid gowns.
>>6589229
eh enjoy it. High schools stupid but you only do it once. Also there are dope parties after.
