haven't seen one of these threads in a while, where we introduce ourselves, talk about the good/bad in our lives, or just talk about how a certain pape makes us feel. a-and post papes of course, will kick it off with a few random ones
> been feeling terrible lately, but i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that i can't seem to find purpose in life.
aaaand it died
>>6535652
I know the feel. I've been feeling incrediblly scared lately. I've had headaches for weeks now and I have a brain scan in the next week. I feel lost and scared knowing that I haven't done anything in life and to think that my own body may betray me in the coming months edges me towards blackness more than ever before. I'm scared anon but at least you put some pretty pictures in my head.
my life in a nutshell
>get up
>breakfast
>brush teeth
>get dressed
>work
>kfc
>work
>go home
>dota
>/pol/
>/wg/
>sleep
but hey, i'm nearing millionaire status and it could be WAY worse
>>6536096
give me money plox
Half of the time I'm visiting /wg/ it's because I'm looking for a wallpaper that would motivate me to be productive. Obviously I don't find anything like that (those with captions don't work on me) and I end up saving a bunch of comfy papes. I don't want to grow up.
>>6536163
my dad found my wallpaper folder once, he said they're all dark and sad
>>6536165
its mostly forest and
>>6536166
ocean pics
>>6536167
theyre fucking calming, not dark
>>6536100
no
>>6536163
are you me?
>>6536170
I don't know, anon
>>6536172
regardless, have some of my forest papes
>>6536174
>>6536176
>>6536181
last for now
>>6536088
glad i could help anon, lately the only thing i've really enjoyed is working on my body, hoping to prevent it from betraying me later, and maybe make existence a bit less painful than it has to be down the road.
that, and playing dark souls, only feeds the idea of meaninglessness, though.
>>6536096
what kind of work do you do?
Just saw a girl I haven't seen in ages. I've always been sweet on her but social anxiety crushes me. Luckily I found myself intoxicated in her presence and now have her number. Not sure what to do from this point onwards but I'm feeling hyped. She is a bit of a wild card where as I'm more cucumber sandwich and I'm not the kind of person who'd usually speak to her friend or otherwise.
>>6536163
This is exactly what I do. Feels good to be comfy. Sucks growing up. Although hookers and drugs are a neat part of being an adult.
>>6536338
just play it cool as a cucumber bro, don't be all overly attached or "pls respond" on her, in a few days hit her up and say "hey, was nice to see you again, lets get lunch" or some shit. do you!
>>6536778
Hell I'm a huge fan of wearing Harringtons and Dr. Martens and she has been swayed by my fashion and invited me round so see her boots and her cat ( we both have black cats). I feel stupid for being infactuacted with her as she is the kind of person who smokes crack and sells her undergarments on adultwork. Whilst i'm the kind of person who sits at home and watches movies. She is just so friendly and full of life. Its easy to have a conversation with her because you can't get a word in edge wise. I apperciate the comment. Think I'll call her tomorrow and see if she is free. I'll keep what you said in mind. Be cool, be me.
>>6535652
I feel the same way and the fact that there are others like us should make me feel better, but it just makes it worse. I don't think there is purpose to life as a whole. It's scary but it makes sense to me.
>>6536096
That sounds horrible. I think your depressing undertone is justified. It's okay to feel like shit even if things are going well.
>>6536163
> I don't want to grow up.
growing up isn't the problem. It's disillusionment. I think it's completely possible to stay happy even when you grow up. You just have to stay stupid.
>>6536338
I have no advice. Just want to say well done.
here are some things I'd like to get off my chest:
>I have lost all my religion (my community is very religious) and it terrifies me. I wish i could believe again.
>I am unable to feel any form of satisfaction when I achieve things. I have to fake pride. Which I find ridiculous.
>I cry a lot when I'm alone. I've started to designate times when I'm alone for crying. I can even start and stop it at will now.
>I hate it when people try to gauge my emotional state.
>I hate it when people try to induce a certain emotion in me.
>I instinctively point out all my short comings if I feel that I am, or will be, judged.
>I'm self absorbed.
>>6537087
>I have lost all my religion and it terrifies me. I wish i could believe again.
try to look at it as an opportunity to grow anon, the way i see it, religion, at its best, is a way to cope with all these things we can't definitively say or deduce, like the lack of purpose. for some, it gives them hope, others just use it for a sense of community. at worst, its just another reason to kill each other. You don't need to be a part of a group or collective to do right, if anything, its more inspiring when good deeds come from inside you, instead of external influences, or "feeling like i should". ya know? nothing wrong with moving on.
>I am unable to feel any form of satisfaction when I achieve things
exactly the same, and the fact that i'm very logical about how I see the universe really doesn't help. "achievement" is just "getting things off my plate" now, and it really doesn't make me want to continue doing anything. its all hollow.
>I cry a lot when I'm alone.
better out than in, friend.
>I hate it when people try to gauge my emotional state.
>I hate it when people try to induce a certain emotion in me.
people want to understand other people, but oftentimes they've already decided what they're hoping to understand, best you can do is cut off people who try to manipulate you.
>I instinctively point out all my short comings if I feel that I am, or will be, judged.
>I'm self absorbed.
you're inherently human anon, no shame in that!
>>6536982
people are products of their environment anon, you seem to be trying to talk yourself out of it because of irrelevant shit, go experience each other!
>>6537102
thanks for the logical reply. it's refreshing.
>>6537110
:^)
>spend most of my time with the girl of my dreams
>good friends, I'm just happy being around her
>for some reason still can't get myself to ask her out
help
>be in a pretty okay situation in life
>have zero motivation to do most things
>just going through the motions every day
>almost constantly tired
I shouldn't complain, but still. It just feels like something's missing.
>>6537552
similar situation, very good friends with her whole family, no idea why I can't do it but brain says it would be a horrible idea,and end like all the others.
>>6537553
i feel that anon, i'm pretty damn fortunate, objectively have nothing to complain about.
But i also feel like i have nothing to keep me going. I keep living more out of habit than anything else.
>still live at home
>finish community college 2 years ago, get associates
>can't think of a career to pursue
>not motivated out of necessity
>not motivated out of desire to fulfill some dream of mine
>can't decide whether to go back to school or get some random job
could be worse, still feels like i am wasting time or waiting for something to fall into my lap
never posted on 4chan before. I am depressed like all of the rest of you. cheers.
>>6536308
software development, desk job and pretty chill to be honest
>>6537087
>That sounds horrible.
i think i may have made it sound worse than it actually is. i'm not a complete social autist and do have a few very close friends and i frequently go out. it's just that vidya and work make up the majority of my life
I have epilepsy and have lost all motivation to have social relations. It was good for a few years and just recently, its gotten worse. Medication makes me feel tired all the time and I feel like a burden if i go out anywhere with my parents or boyfriend because they constantly worry about if im handling it okay. To be honest, im not handling it okay.
>>6537113
what in gods name is that picture from?
>>6537920
I think you are me from the near future. Currently doing a master's in computer engineering, but it's practically pure software development at this point. Do you have a wife/gf/partner? Do you have any long term goals? Are you addicted to some kind of drug? Do I need to save money for an unexpected mental breakdown in the future? give me the cheatcodes.
>>6537963
software development, for me at least, can get pretty repetitive so make sure you have good patience. in terms of relationships, i really have no idea. i prefer to just not get involved as much as possible. but that doesn't mean to just shut yourself out entirely, just have a circle of close friends. i was lucky enough to hold on to my friends all the way from primary school. the financial picture is pretty damn good. i'm earning £500 a day. you can waste plenty of money and still have quite a bit left over. my dad taught me self discipline and i meditate a lot so i've never felt the need to use drugs and i really have no idea for long term goals.
>>6537846
>feels like i am wasting time or waiting for something to fall into my lap
fuck, are you me?
>>6537929
artist named zdzislaw beksinski, did surrealist art or whatever before he died. i extended the sides a bit for pape
>>6537927
sounds like its a little bit self-fulfilling at this point. i don't know much about epilepsy, are there alternative medications you can try? you definitely sound like you don't take your loved ones' care for granted, i'm sure they have no problem with worrying for you a bit. :)
>>6537920
Take it from someone who worried about his girlfriend constantly because of her shitty homelife, I promise that it is never too much for those who love you to handle. It's ultimately just self-defeating if you think of yourself as a burden for them, you being sad over that just makes everyone more worried you can't see how amazing you really are.
As for me I'm just a guy who is heading to college and pretty scared for the future. I worry I won't be able to remain in contact with a dear friend of mine due to her crazy parents. I also get the impression she thinks I'll instantly forget her for some random college girls, and that hurts, because she means so much to me I could never imagine doing that to her. It's cool to read about you guys' lives, they all sound more interesting than mine.
Its been about a month since I got out of my first relationship. Feeling better about it, but I still feel empty at times and I hate it. Dealing with stress from college does help either as I hardly got time to grieve about it. But I just gotta keep pushing forward.
>>6538719
I did something, mainly because I want a PC version and I only had the mobile one.
>>6538279
Theres been talk about surgery but its really only used as a last resort. The medication im on now makes me tired, unable to concentrate, and irritable for no real reason. The last medication i was on made me suicidal when ive never had those kind of thoughts.
Im not a hermit or anything, i have a bachelors and an associates in health care but am not allowed to work unless theyre controlled. I also cant drive until i am 1 year seizure free.
Its frustrating and i worry a lot about my loved ones being disappointed or annoyed.
>Religion
I don't know about religion. it really scares me that people are dying for a god they don't even know is real. The only purpose I think it has is that it helps people cope with death. It just seems like an illusion different people take in different ways.
>>6538719
first serious relationship lasted ~6 years basically, its been about a year since she ended it. Still don't know how long it will take to stop thinking about her, try so hard not to that sometimes I don't even know if i went a day without doing it. I'm told it gets better, but I won't lie to you anon. good luck :(
I’m usually not emotional collecting wallpapers: this is the exception. Every time it calls my attention, I’m reminded of a life I’ve nearly forgotten. I know it’s only wallpaper. Still, there are these outspoken thoughts I can’t seem to leave out. It’s breathtaking. All of it. A work of art only overheard when sound asleep. Yet, here it is, in plain view for everyone to see.
It’s a simple depiction of human life: a lonely soul isolated from a community of countless people unaware of her existence. She’s staring out to the city lights, further evidence of humanity adorning the night sky. In truth, the entire scene is imprinted with human monuments, complementing the purity of its natural environment.
This only character depicted stands out above all the rest. I can’t see her face, I don’t know her name, but I believe, of all the people she encountered, there’s still a certain soul she misses the most. I’m certain her outlook in the world would reach out to humanity if she found this missing person in her life, this certain soul she can devote her entire life discovering.
It is a wallpaper I never thought could be illustrated to people. At the moment, I just want to share it with everyone.
>>6538938
saw you post this a while back anon, love it every time. That's one of those wallpapers that always has a spot on your top 5, like a song you can always hear something new from.
the sentiment wasn't bad either :)
>>6538750
i hope you'll find a solution that works for you anon, they're there for you, and while you shouldn't take it for granted, don't ever think they don't want to do it. and listen to >>6538342 !
>>6538752
death and the unknown, as far as i can see. That, and people love another good reason to kill each other, what can ya do?
sup, well how do I start? im M 27, married for 9 years and im depressed in how my life turned out. I have kids which is great but the one whom ive "loved" is just bringing my soul down. I always used to be the fun one that always smiled but recently ive come to realize that I had become an short tempered monster. shes the match to start my fire and the wick to my flame. it hurts to know this but at least now that im not blind to it. I wish I could sit and relax for a moment and enjoy what the universe has displayed in front of me. I wish to open my eyes and see new colors, feel the sun warm skin, expand my heart just as much as my lungs when I take the deepest of breaths. but its when im with her.. I feel numb, anger, and love that seems bland. I need help
>>6539809
>>6539815
>>6539809
ouch anon, really can't relate too much to your situation (not in relationship, no kids, etc), but how old are the kids? is it always like this, or are there moments you enjoy with her too, even if few and far between? I'd usually suggest communication, but those kind of thoughts can sometimes increase tension when they're out in the open, and with the kids/your situation that might not be the best immediate thing to do. Have you tried talking to her about specific things that set you off?
>>6535652
yo, disgusting tranny here. My life has been pretty bland n' stuff. Work shitty retail job then go home and talk to long distance boyfriend til' I pass out or get drunk and go on 4chan. Prolly gonna kill myself after beating Dark Souls 3 tbqh.
>>6539824
sucks that trans peeps seem to get the short end of the stick in most facets of life. I wont try to talk you out of it, but I highly recommend trying the "live like your life is a movie" thing before you off yourself. Go wherever, do whatever the fuck you want, etc etc... might as well, who knows, you might find some shit worth doing.
also good taste in games anon :), played a bit today.
Unsure of what to do with my life. Hardly a struggle compared to what others have to go through. I guess I miss being in love. My first relationship (if you could call it that) had me fucking sprung. I can't seem to find anyone like that, although to be honest I've been pretty unmotivated to look. I don't even really care that professionally, life's pretty bleak. I really don't mind working all the time and coming home. It's the fact that I've got no one to do it with. But whatever, at least I've got my health
>>6538750
Damn, good luck anon. My half-brother was diagnosed with a brain tumour when he was only four years old, was close to the center and the size of an average egg. This caused epilepsy for him, there was also a lot of talk about surgery as a last resort. He's now nine and had surgery half a year ago, since the tumour suddenly started growing out of proportion. They're still lowering the amount of medication he takes, but the difference is very noticable, he's happier, laughs more.
Not really sure what I'm trying to say, perhaps that eventually things will get better. Also you shouldn't worry about your loved ones, caring for someone you love isn't a burden. They'll always be there for you. The only thing I can say to you, speaking as someone who always was there for my brother, try to stay happy and optimistic, it's difficult seeing someone you love be unhappy.
>>6539809
I'm 20 years old, I'm in a relationship for over 3.5 years now and I'm now starting to realize that I don't want to stay with her forever, seems harsh, but I'm having the same feelings as you. I know I'm in a far easier situation than you right now, but then again, I feel sort of trapped and I know if I don't leave her, I'll probably get in a similar situation as you eventually. On the other hand, I don't want to throw away 3.5 years and I'm still wondering if things might change. Not that anything's really wrong, I just don't feel as in love as I once did and our relationship has become boring or as you said bland.
Tl;dr I just want to feel in love again.
Well in replying to two people I guess I've given a big portion of my story. Lost my father when I was 7, lost my step-father when I was 15, half a year after my brother was diagnosed with that tumour. My mother had a quite extreme depression.
Although I feel like I've gone through a lot, I've never felt like my life was bad or anything, I guess I've just sort of felt numb for the biggest part of it and I want that feeling to stop.
Hi everyone. My soon to be exwife decided it would be awesome to grab my wrists and try to make it look like i beat her and call the cops.
Hi, I've been feeling a bit down the past few days because my best guy friend texted me saying he wants to ask me out. I just don't like him in that way and I feel awful that maybe I led him on without realising it. I don't think he's ever asked any girls out or anything and I imagine it'll make him feel awful.
To add to that I've got exams coming up which I have to do well in if I want to go to university.
I spent the whole of yesterday worrying about my friend wanting to ask me out, and I just feel tired and a bit down right now.
Thanks OP for this thread, its made me feel a bit better getting everything off my chest, I'll post some more papes later when I get back.
>>6540021
Best way to solve this issue? Go out with him, nothing fancy, just have fun as friends. Try to prevent any romantic situations, invite some other friends. Talk with him about people you've met and perhaps like. He'll more than likely realize you're not available.
I can't tell for sure, since I have no idea how he asked you out, but to me it sounds like you may be exaggerating a bit, you shouldn't feel down or anything.
Best case scenario, he just wants to know you better and didn't even intend to do anything.
Worst case scenario, you'll both have a fun evening, he'll feel bad for some days, but you won't lose him as a friend in the end.
Then again, these are just my two cents on the whole thing
>>6540043
Thanks for the advice, he texted me saying he was going to ask me out when he gets back (I assume he means holidays).
I guess I feel bad because I sort of suspected he might like me (subtle hints over time), but didn't think of it because its not my place to assume stuff like that. And in reply to the text I gave a sort of stalling answer because I can't bear to reject someone by text. I'm worried he assumed I meant yes.
Thanks again for the advice, its much appreciated; as its useful to hear another opinion.
>>6540049
>>6540051
Just posting some random mountain papes, I absolutely love landscapes.
>>6540056
>>6540060
Ok last one for now
>>6539838
Yeah, I was thinking of just going train hopping n' doing shit like that til' I starve or get murdered, but that means not being able to refill prescriptions and that'll mean I'll start looking like a man again
:(
Also thanks, man...can't wait for the fuggin' DS3 download to finish!
(No good pape cuz' im on shitty phone at shitty job)
Sup anons.
I'm struggling with trying to finish off the semester without relapsing back into self-harm. It's incredibly hard to motivate myself to do work. I've sat in my bad the past four days with a lot to do, and haven't been able to do any of it.
>>6536163
that's a fantastic wallpaper though anon
>>6539844
I know that feeling anon, after such a long and intense first relationship, the end is crushing and its really hard to get into anything else, let alone other relationships. I'm not really the type that can drown myself in other people or casual sex to get over things. Like you said, don't really care what I'm doing, just wanna do it with someone I care about :/
>>6539934
I think we all feel like someone else has it worse (which is probably true), but you can't let that detract from the drive to solve your shit. No advice, I feel very much the same, but I hope things get better for you anon.
>>6539947
holy shit, any legal bullshit to deal with? or did it go pretty smooth after the fallout? sorry you have to deal with that. getting out is probably the right thing to do though.
>>6540021
Not to bag on the other guy who replied to you, but I really don't think 'entertaining his offer as a friend' would be the best thing. Judging by what you said, he's probably at least somewhat into you, and the only outcomes I see from taking this date would be A) he thinks you're also into it, but shy or want to go slow or something, B) he thinks you're just "getting a free lunch", ya know? I've had a couple girls do this to me, and while you have 1000x better intentions, it could potentially still be crushing. Awkward as fuck, but my recommendation is straight up saying the stuff you said in your post, just preface it with "I don't want any confusion or to be a dick" etc etc...
>>6540056
goddamn that sunset looks good
>>6540200
no worries, do you!
>>6540270
ouch, the inertia from the 'not doing shit' lifestyle is hard to overcome, try some little tasks to get back into it. ex: respond to emails, get back in bed for a bit. do a homework problem, get back in bed, make yourself some food, do 10 pushups, get back in bed. shit like that.
>>6539809
Consult the mushroom friend. Might give you some insight that is more meaningful than the bullshit that people tell each other
>>6538938
Anon, that was beautiful.
>>6540379
Thank you, I'm inclined to agree I think I need to talk to him honestly at some point, probably sooner than later.
Thank you for this, it's really helped me clear my thoughts.
You're great and don't let anyone tell you otherwise :^)
>>6539818
>>6539934
>>6540380
thanks for you input, I just am tired of rollercoasters of arguments and games that lead to the empty space of nothing. talking has done nothing but extended to our lives together, but as to feel loved again.. well that I guess will come in time but maybe it not with whom I want it to be with although it may hurts as much as sticking with it. I just don't know what to decide to do. anyways, thank you for your concern.
>honestly
>>6540867
>>6540869
>>6540870
>>6540871
>>6540872
now that i am actually starting to naturally feel happy again, i realised how horribly depressed i was for like 2 years. i dont ever wanna go back there again. i thought i found a purpose in life but now all i want to do is let everything go and get lost in this experience and find someone to share that with
I'm 19, I have 2-3 close friends who I drink and play videogames with. Never had a girlfriend or anything like that. I just got a new job on the east coast (I live in the midwest) where I'll be making about 60k/year which I guess is really good for someone who is 19 and never attended college. I might be depressed, my grandparents and lots of relatives have asked me if I am. I do think about shooting myself frequently but I won't because that would fuck up my little sister who is like 6, she shouldn't have to live with that. I have ups and downs where some days I just don't give a fuck and some where I feel like shit, then I think about what a pussy I am for being so emotional. Idk why tf im even typing this im going to try and respond to some of you guys
>>6540270
I really have no advice, I've been there. the only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and try different things. Exercising helped a lot for me, throw in your headphones drive to a private area and run like shit. or do some fucking situps and pushups in your room. Get buzzed in the morning and keep it going all day. Whatever helps.
>>6535652
Hop in line, my dad just killed himself last month. I'm really lost, but I keep smoking and staring into space while listening to this song on repeat
https://soundcloud.com/brainfeeder/iglooghost-gold-coat
As for the picture, its pretty much how I feel.
The breakup with my first girlfriend has changed me so much, in good and bad ways, but all that's lingering is pain. I have this empty feeling that can never be fixed; this feeling like I fucked up and lost something. It fades over time, but it's always there. I have so many mixed feelings about this that I don't know what I want anymore. I want her back but I don't. I wish she was a better person. I wish I didn't choose someone so shitty. I didn't want my first love to turn out like this. I feel like the only reason I'd get back with her is to wait it out and let it end on my terms. I don't have much hope for waiting on her to grow into a great person.
>>6541427
Fuck, I needed that song and more like it.
>>6541503
I feel like I love and value myself so so much more after this but there's a part of me that also hates myself more after this for multiple reasons. These mix of emotions are so draining.
>>6541427
Wish I had something useful to tell you. My mom died 5 years ago so it isn't the same situation, but all I can say is don't let this hold you back or make you stagnant in wherever you're headed in life. It's not worth it.
>>6541507
>>6541508
>>6541509
feeling a bit down today, i have a few stuffs to be done for college but... i don't really want to do them... seems like i fear growing up and been just another person just to make enought money to live... u know? i want so many thing but i can't find a way to get them but just studing and same crap every day...
Alright /wg/ here are my trials and tribulations:
>21 M
>college junior
>still not over breakup with highschool gf 3 years ago
>since then hooked up with and dated multiple grills
>still can't forget about ex or that she ditched me
>feelsbadman.jpg
>struggling to live day by day due to immense sadness
This pape pretty much sums up my feelings
>>6541879
Fucking killer pape tho
>>6540021
i understand what you feel.
Know that he's gonna be hurt no matter how. I think the best way to tell him you don't see him "that way" is that you justify yourself. Something like
"We've developed a relationship that goes way beyond a romance / think of what we've done together, i couldn't have done it if i just saw you as a fuck buddy"
>>6540049
>its not my place to assume stuff like that
do girls really think that?
>>6541906
fuck I hope not
>>6541879
I'm with you man. I'm not sure if she was your first/first serious relationship but it does indeed suck and I'm going through the same thing. It sucks knowing this will always have a place in my heart. I don't want these feelings to stick with me throughout my life and I hate knowing that the first is something irreplaceable. I can't shake this feeling like I fucked up. All I've ever wanted was a good person to love me like I love them. Guess it's not that simple.
I'm 27, slowly transitioning from life-long depression to not giving a shit, not sure which is worse.
for the last year or so i have felt down about alot of things ive been quick to anger and irritable for no reason im so confused
>>6542010
I stopped giving a shit a few years ago. I find it very comforting. The thought that no matter how much you fuck up, it doesn't matter anyway. It is what gives me confidence to get out there and do shit just 'cause.
>>6543165
Here's a pape to go with that
>>6537846
I know this.. it'Padova, long river Bacchiglione
>>6535652
Alzheimer's runs in my family and im constantly afraid of thinking if it ever happens to my father and to watch it him go through it, id rather go through with it myself then see it happen to him.
