File: 3045687-3026698-pokémon+go+logo+copy.jpg (132 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [Google]

132 KB, 1280x720

I'm going to get this out of the way first: I really love the game itself. I've had a blast going on walks through my park, both alone and with friends. Being able to connect with total strangers over Pokemon feels magical, and the thrill of catching 'mons is more and more exhilarating with every Pokedex entry.

But I'm not talking about the game. I'm talking about the app itself.

It fucking sucks.

Pokemon Go was announced around September in 2015, but it was surely in development beforehand. For a game that's been in development for quite awhile and is nearly a clone of the developer's previous game, Ingress, this game is horribly buggy and broken. I know this, and you know this as well.

These aren't normal bugs or glitches, these are gamebreaking. Minor bugs may be slightly annoying like Pokespots refusing to budge and give you nothing, but major bugs plague this app like a fucking corpse infected with the Black Plague. Ever found an incredibly rare Pokemon and had the game freeze when you threw a Pokeball, destroying your chances of catching it as you hastily reboot? I have. Ever launched the game and your player spawn in an endless ocean or get stuck in a permanent load time for the map, forcing you to eventually restart your app? I have. Ever sat there at the loading screen and watched as Gyarados mocked you right to your face, watching you marinate in your frustration? I have. Ever painstakingly waged war against a gym, fighting tooth and nail to whittle the enemy's Pokemon down to 1 HP, only to find that the health bar is glitched and winning is impossible? I have.

It's unacceptable. It feels like this app was developed by an amalgamation of Bethesda and Obsidian's hate baby. The only reason any of us put up with it is that it's wearing the skin of a highly beloved franchise near and dear to our hearts. If this game was not a Pokemon game, nobody would put up with this.