/vpwt/: 'Shake Shake' Edition
>post fanfics you like
>share your own fics, ask for advice, post story updates
>discuss writerly struggles with fellow writefriends
Join us in IRC at [ #vpwritethread on irc.rizon.net ] to discuss your fics, hang out and chat, and be frightened by the regulars!
Previous Thread: >>25855949
Check out the catalog for a directory of fics from fellow writefags,
>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtN4D_9CSw8JJ9uO6v0oQqdtKEkS8aFAvfxqI96XfSE/edit?usp=sharing
>Can I post NSFW fics?
Absolutely! There are no rules against NSFW text links.
>How should I post my fics?
Please, for the convenience of everyone involved, link to a host like Fanfiction.net, Pastebin or Google Docs rather than dumping your fics in text posts. This not only keeps the thread tidy (and keeps you from getting an infraction for spam), but it also provides a more permanent place to store your work.
>Can I add a fic I wrote to the catalog?
Sure! Check the catalog for the submission link. In there, you can find a link to a Google Form - fill out all the necessary information and it will be submitted for review automatically. Technology is incredible!
We're also looking to collect ideas for fanfics as a resource for stumped writers. Feel free to throw an idea out there; someone may choose to use it themselves!
Ideabin: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X072SSWulcC6RJRrPA6v9XtyohRybvMBl6Fh49wHsRw
Topic of the Thread: Seems like music is a popular thing to listen to during writing. How do you stop yourself from grooving to it while writing?
music controls my mind and makes me imagine stupid scenes
>>25961528
Join the club. Wish I was an artist so I could draw out these stupid sappy scenes and keep them hidden in a notebook where no one can find them.
>>25961690
Know how you feel. Wish I could write a sappy scene like that, but it just keeps coming off as mechanical.
Hell, I half wish I went into an artsy major instead of tech so I could think of how to write/draw something instead of thinking about system buses and multiplexing.maybe a fic could written about this haha
>>25961747
I wish my phone remembered my name jesus.
The struggles behind the process of creation would be a fun piece. They've been done a lot though.
Also, fixing how mechanical your writing is comes down to practice. And quite a bit of depending on the person. That said, mechanical writing is good for certain genres.
>>25961808
writing mechanically is perfect if you're writing from the first person POV of a robot
I want to write lewd but I feel guilty
>>25962185
Guilty of what?
What's there to be guilty about in lewd?
rate my lews
pokac
>>25961808
I feel like I could write a convincing pseudo report, but creating dialogue that flows easily is pretty hard.
Practice definitely makes perfect, though.
Not sure if SpookyMisdreavus is still active, but I just finished reading Happiness by Proxy and Pranks done in dead of night. Ya dun good. Happiness by proxy was a lot hotter than I had even hoped.
Oh right, someone has to do that recap thing.
Fic recap:
More bullies have come and brought...writing material surprisingly. As there are many, I'll just label the pairings.
Wally, NSFW you dingus
http://pastebin.com/6EEsZXgL
A Wally Saga of sorts. NSFW
http://pastebin.com/WXWa8ivw (1)
http://pastebin.com/SVgkpvhU (2)
http://pastebin.com/tyvY0gt5 (3)
http://pastebin.com/re9kWttp (4)
Elesa, SFW
http://pastebin.com/ybMe6CSh
Aromatissee, smelly but SFW
http://pastebin.com/Nf4v2fCa
Beauty Trainer, NSFW
http://pastebin.com/B1KywNew
Meloetta, NSFW
http://pastebin.com/QhqzG9DG
Courtney, NSFW (?)
http://pastebin.com/YC4VCDru
An anon is asking for some criticism on a snall snippet involving Yellow. SFW
http://pastebin.com/HfZJ5eAZ
Another anon wrote about Ghetis's...interesting relationship with Kyurem. SFW
http://pastebin.com/g2TWjz4n (1)
http://pastebin.com/CDtECHrK (2)
Updated Fics
cge adds a third chapter to his new fic. SFW(?)
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6400045/chapters/14934724
Trapsingexodus is officially done with his fic. Kudos to someone completing their work Last Chapter is SFW iirc.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11293393/6/Their-Second-Autumn
>>25963036
For the sake of bumping this thread, here's another snippet I wrote almost a week ago that I'd also like for someone to completely shit on. Pokemon interacting with each other without "talking", but using cries instead.this probably only works semi-well with Pikachu
http://pastebin.com/J6UAi41J
>>25963036
My fic update was not mentioned: new chapter, series is sfw: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10121590/7/Gift-of-the-Protector-Radiant-Heart
what would a sfw sequel to my bully/bdsm goodra fic entail? I'm thinking breakfast in bed
>>25961747
>system buses
>buses
If you write a fanfic about kawaii public transit I will read the fuck out of it
>>25964565system buses aren't nearly as cute as they sound, sadly
>>25964574
;_;
>>25958371
this sounds like a good time
>>25961747
You could write a story about a guy who is tasked with writing tech docs for Poygon-Z.His notes could depict a slow descent into insanity as a result of exposure to/studying oneOr:He's an intern stuck playing babysitter to - and taking pointless notes on - an illogical creature that gets him into a variety of shenanigans.
>>25964849
why not do two stories, one of each?
I'd read 'em
TToT: Why the hell would I want to stop the rock?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURJDToKA0k
>>25964109
ah man sorry about that.
>>25966454
I can only associate this song with Dark Souls.
Is it music time?It's music time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1CyJzPQah8
>>25966620
Music time? https://youtu.be/gPtLPruFkn0
bayside in general is a pretty good band when i need to be in an angsty mood for something
>>25961463
>Seems like music is a popular thing to listen to during writing. How do you stop yourself from grooving to it while writing?
The trick isn't to stop grooving to it, it's to pick the right music to groove to while writing. i.e. upbeat, fast songs for writing action scenes, melancholy songs for sad scenes, etc.
And I wound up just barely missing last thread for an update. So let's start off by fixing that right away:
FFN:
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11084689/33/Fledglings
AO3:
>http://archiveofourown.org/works/3465593/chapters/15028159
>>25967261
>that fucking comic
why
its too late at night for me to hnnng
Are there any well written and completed vanilla journey fics?
Just a kid getting all eight badges and attempting the elite four without any stupid gimmicks
>>25967677
probably oodles if you search around in FFN, though it'd be pretty hard to not deal with the obligatory evil team trying to take over the world gimmick as portrayed in the game/anime.
>completed
well that narrows things down a bit for your search.
>>25967697
Honestly I've looked but four chapters in they always introduce stupid shit like psychic powers or pokephilia or whatever
Thinking about writing a oneshot of sorts. For cuddles, feels and perhaps luls.
Depressed kid is feeling depressed, goes outside to get some sun.
There is a family of ralts-line on his property.
He usually avoids them because sad feelings lower their blood temp, cause their own depression, organ failure, etc.
Wild ralts appears, hops onto his lawn chair and starts snuggling him.
He finds the thing friggin adorable. The ralts' horn glows and body warms up.
Wild ralts calls his siblings, which come out of the woods and also cuddle him.
Their nanny gardevoir comes looking for them, sees where they are, and tries to psychically lift them off depressed kid to take them back to the nest.
The ralts cling to his clothes, and he's lifted with them.
Gardevoir is amused, and takes him to the nest too, with the ralts still clinging to him.
Does thread approve?
Does thread have more ideas?
>>25968278
Is this just and excuse to have a Gardevoir act like a kid's mom? Because if it is, you should just be honest about it.
Does the depressed kid slowly accidentally kill them all with his depression or something?
>>25968278
Write more than 134 words about your idea. How about an exposition chapter or something?
>>25968278
Eh. It's up to you whether you want to do it or not, but more comfy stories sounds nice to me.
The big thing to keep an eye out on is to make sure the kid isn't edgy with his depression. In this case, I define edgy as a character that ends up making sympathy feels 'forced' than legit.
Make sure to imply a reason for the kid's depression. Is he the new kid in block with no friends and all bullies? Has something tragic happened to him or his family/loved ones? Perhaps he went through a life-saving surgery and is suffering the side effects from it (usually depression).
In general, just make it, along with the characters, seem realistic.
>>25964549
That sounds like a cute idea.
So, /vpwt/, how do you writecuddlefics?
>>25970618
find something to cuddle with, for experience
>>25970618
Have lucid dreams about cuddling because no one wants to cuddle with me ;_;
>>25970750
Don't you need to experience it IRL before you can accurately lucid dream it?
>>25970800
No. You can just watch it happen around you and then imagine yourself in that position. Exactly the same as flying for fun in a lucid dream actually
>>25970631
>>25970750
>>25970800
>>25970856
[Pathos intensifies]
>>25970217
Yeah, I just need to figure out how to have things happen.
>>25964549
breakfast in bed, possibly lying on the goodra while doing so so it'd be more of a breakfast on your Pokemon.
Possibly the usual dating things that happen with other couples, going out, shopping, movie watching, basking in nature, the whole works.
That feel when writing a violent scene, trying to balance it with detail but not be over-the-top
>>25971343
How violent are you trying to go? Maybe try writing it from the victim's perspective, where they won't necessarily know WHAT is being damaged, but they definitely feel the pain.
>>25971353
>How violent are you trying to go?
Enraged gyarados that's out of control starts attacking a group of trainers indiscriminately
>Maybe try writing it from the victim's perspective, where they won't necessarily know WHAT is being damaged, but they definitely feel the pain
Oh they'll feel it all right. However I don't want it to be edgy without good reason, so I'm working on writing out why this particular gyarados is going haywire since there is a less violent-prone gyarados I've already written about.
>>25971627
What perspective are you writing from? The Gyarados's, bird eye view, or a single person?
>>25971627
If it's taken to just wanton destruction then I'd expect most damage to be crushing, rag doll making blows. You'd have your Trainers getting fucked up internally more than externally though. Broken bones, cracked skulls, maybe some people get bitten, internal bleeding and organ damage. It's not outwardly edgy because internal injuries just sound more muted than gushing blood and arterial sprays when written out.
>>25971723
Third person is the main way I approach fictions, so in this case I would be narrator of the scene. Was thinking about having dialog where an antagonist explains stuff to the reader in order to lead up to the actual battle. Sometimes I find that easier than droning on and on about things in a magical narrator voice, and also find that takes away from the actual tension of a scene.
This place has been really active lately. Usually this place dies for days or even weeks at a time. Normally, I'd be all for people using pokemon for their own ends, but that is also what has made me hate this franchise as it's portrayed officially, to the point of believing nothing that even the creators say.
>>25971794
The official pokedex entries are REALLY dark if you think about them, especially the ghost types, parasect, spoink and others.
>>25971794
>This place has been really active lately.
i'd say the recent surge of bullying fics had something to do with that, at least visibility wise.
>>25971847
They also contradict the matter pokemon are supposed to have varying personalities.
>>25971876
Maybe that has something to do with it. But we've also had a few writefags return, which is always good for the longevity of these threads.
>>25961463
Speaking of florges did that guy finish his perverted florges story?
>>25971916
Sadly not yet. Been working too hard with class material to focus on literally anything else
>>25971943
Alright then.
By the way do you know any other good story with florges yours is the only one I've seen.
>>25971876
Yeah, this bullying-fic fad is beginning to speak a volume about this thread's mode clientele.
>>25972091
If I make my characters suffer, does that count as part of the bullying?
>>25972107
It does if you suppress a haunting sense of inadequacy by doing so.
>>25971794
>Normally, I'd be all for people using pokemon for their own ends, but that is also what has made me hate this franchise as it's portrayed officially, to the point of believing nothing that even the creators say.
Can you explain this further?
>>25971883
>>25971847
>>25971794this is why people who are dedicated enough to try come up with more plausible shit on why shit happens. even if it's fanon, it might be a better explanation that canon. like what pokemon would pose way too much danger in the hands of 11-14 year old kid.
>>25972127
not that guy, but there is some level of weird as to how people treat pokemon in all canons so far.
People preach about Pokemon being more than just pets; they're friends n' stuff.
Anime literally portrays them eating off of food bowls (regardless of appearance), petting, and many other pet tendencies.
Pokemon should not be fighting for others entertainment
Game has them fight constantly and implies they do so to get stronger.
There are probably way more, but those two are the big offenders in my book.
>>25972091
probably just a move from one thread to another, considering that bully threads have been deleted before.
>>25972081
Did a quick google. If you're looking for porn, you're out of luck. There's one on FFN about a Florges guild, but I don't know if its any good or focuses on Florges.
>>25969797
I am not sure how it works over there with you, but...
I'd say that in most cases, you wouldn't be aware of it unless you know the person well enough.
I just have this weird experience with it not being obvious, hidden under some kind of facade/mask/whatever.
>>25972140
>like what pokemon would pose way too much danger in the hands of 11-14 year old kid
Fuck man, nearly all of them would. Some stage 1 mon start off with relatively manageable powers but then they ramp up to degrees of strength no mortal man should have, let alone teens.
>>25972198
I mean shit like Rhydon.
I mean, it has a giant, pointy horn. And can learn Horn DRILL. That is one hit 'knockout'.
To be honest, people would probably figure out shit and make some protective gear for Trainers. That's my headcanon.
Did the Serena bullyfic get finished/posted since the last thread?
>>25972230
How do you protect against Psychic types? Steel types? Ghosts? Remember: Meowstic can crush trucks into dust with its mind. Gardevoir can distort time-space and produce black holes (which implies obscene control over gravity.) Aggron will terraform its mountain home on its own with materials it hauls there itself. Banette is a literal hate elemental.
How do you deal with this shit? I'm not being rhetorical either, how the fuck do people manage?
>>25972347
People with psychic powers like Sabrina are canon lest you forget.
>>25972375Requesting a fic where Sabrina forces herself on the head of the Karate Dojo with her super effective Psychic powers
What's the appeal in bullying fics? They're mostly just shitting on a specific character without any effort to make it flow naturally.
>>25972380Anon, despite my ambitions I can only write one violent fic at a time.
>>25971794
>>25971876
>>25972091
I don't think it's specifically the bully fics that are causing the faster threads.I'd bet a minority of readers are even interested, though it probably does help speed up the thread a bit. I think some new people or some lurkers started posting things that get the thread moving for awhile. It seems like the threads have picked up the pace for quite awhile now. The last serious lull I can recall was the Valentines thread that lasted over a month.
>>25972375
Setting aside that psychic human protagonists are overdone to hell and back at this point, I could never really get into stories that focused on psychic humans. They always give the impression of a wish-fulfillment/Mary Sue type character. And the concept seems unnecessary in a world that already has psychic creatures that humans train anyways.
>>25972389
People like to feel bad for others.
>implying there aren't a million fics that will do anything to make their protagonist the saddest most victimized character ever devised to elicit sympathy from readers
>>25965806
They were just random suggestions, neither of them are really up my alley. I will add a story about a guy who deals with the regret of evolving his Porygon2 companion into an insane creature that is nothing like his friend to the list of things I'd like to write but probably won't get around to. That makes #12 on the list.
>>25972782
Personally, I like to put my main characters into situations that are difficult so that they grow up out of their delusional perspectives of the world.
>>25973117
So your characters are delusional by default.
>>25973263
But of course. Most people are, my friend.
>>25973263
And also, what would be the point of writing a journey if all the characters were perfect little sues that have no faulty worldviews?
>>25973650
Delusion is a strong word. Have a set of ideals that govern your worldview that are shaped by the events of your life is known as maturation. Delusion is to buck maturity by rejecting truths in the interest of maintaining falsehood.
>>25971794
Don't jinx the thread;_;
>>25973729
I dunno, I tend to call a spade a spade
Suwa here. Finished an excerpt a month ago. Didn't think it was really relevant to the thread, but I figure I'll post it anyway for the sake of a bump. At a later date, of course, since I'm on mobile.
It takes place after Bonding, but way before whenever the fuck Attention would theoretically happen. It features those two trainer OC's in their most humanly flawed forms yet--one shirking responsibility and the other placing blame on everyone but herself! Also there's a Gallade, which I'm assuming a fair amount of you like. It's just one big Ralts line circlejerk in here, isn't it? Not that I'm complaining, I enjoy circumferential masturbation to cute mons.
>>25977768
so you're linking your works together (even the frillish one)?
How would you do prisons in pokemon?
would it just be alcatraz + guard dogs?
i personally like the harry potter approach where its an isolated prison where the guards are all soul sucking monsters who hate everything
>>25978687
I imagine a similar situation with harry Potter, except the guards are all psuedo legendaries who fire hyper beams at anyone like Lance's Dragonite
>>25972347
The easiest way possible: tin foil hats
>>25979435That's the route I took, essentially.
>>25972347
Grab some dark gems.
Sprinkle them on your clothes.
Your clothes are now dark type.
>>25972375
I wonder what kind of hardships are taken to be a pokemon psychic, unless you have to be born one.
>>25978141
Yeah I don't make throwaway OCs. Everyone I have is part of a larger story. The frillish one isn't canon though.
Here's the new thing. No real theme, just irresponsible kids.
http://pastebin.com/G7svCKxM
So if you go beyond a region's specified borders, do you enter a wasteland or something similar?
>>25980852
Best bet is to just use your imagination, honestly. I don't think there's any set geography regarding that. Use the region's general climate and shape it as realistically and consistently as possible.
>>25980852
You fall over the edge and are taunted by all of the turtles as you pass by.
>>25980920
Someone should write about the unexpected/humorously disastrous consequences of ignoring the trees or other regional boundaries in the game worlds. The main protagonist sets out through the trees and ends up in the Pokémon equivalent of Oz, where everything's incredibly trippy and they're joined by someone else from their village who screams and runs after them in the realisation that they're about to enter into the Void Lands.
>>25980956
>Pokémon equivalent of Oz
It's called "Mystery Dungeon."
>someone else from their village who screams and runs after them
Now with multiplayer.
>>25981044
>multiplayer MD
This would be quite interesting to pull off, considering every move is a turn. Though I doubt it can be done realistically.
>>25981100
Turn-Based multiplayer isn't terribly difficult to pull off as long as you're aware of factors that can extend turns to help mitigate them.
You know, like what Civ 5 manages to NOT do. Holy shit turns in Civ 5 take so fucking long with multiple people and god forbid someone goes to fucking war.
>>25979788
"I wanted to keep the crazy mind types away from me so I crushed these gems I found in a cave and glued them to my clothing. I look terrible, I've ruined an expensive jacket, but I'll be damned if I'm not glittering and safe."
>>25981100
Considering how simple the turns are (walk, technique, item, pass) it would probably be quite smooth with proper pacing.
inb4 /vpwt/ becomes /vpgamedev/.
>>25981150
Exactly! Would you rather be flungby a psychic type or sparkle a bit.
>>25981306
The style points get a negative from me.
>>25981657
What if you wore the gemsOn the inside?
>>25981784
That probably would be very unhealthy for yourdigestive track.
>>25981813
Your innards are going to spread over atractof land for saying digestive track.
>>25981857
Autocorrect does that sometimes, sue me over it if it brothers you that much.
>>25981922
I hope it doesn't bother your brothers, if you have any.totally not a bump
Suggestion: government sanctioned tentacool eradication.
>>25980203
>http://pastebin.com/G7svCKxM
>Carnivorous Lopunny
...killer rabbit?
How would you provoke a sense of wonder in people who know what rain is but rarely experience it?
They don't live in a desert either.
>>25984561Did I just get inspired?
Aw shit.
I hope not. I've got too many ideas as it is.
>>25984949
Hurricane footage?
>>25984957
Maybe not as severe as a hurricane, just a rainstorm that's enough to keep people inside.
>>25985095
You've answered your own question.
>>25985103
Maybe for a general population assessment, sure.
>>25984949
>>25985095
Flash flood? "Holy shit that water is up to my headlights!" is a common reaction.
Or maybe just have heavy rain and wind together. If the wind blows hard enough rain can hurt enough to convince people to go inside just like hail can.
>>25985213
Yeah, this'll work out pretty great. Thanks anon.
>>25984145
Why tentacool? Because of an outbreak in tentacle rape?
>>25984561
God dammit my friend has a rabbit I should know this. I guess I just figured she's so aggressive she'd have a craving for something more savory than packaged kale.
>>25984957
>inspiring an author I respect
Goals
>>25985909Because of the stupid amount of "jelly" posts that flooded /vp/ today.
>>25985941
>browsing /vp/
You know what meme I'm going to spout so I'll leave it at. I'd read it, though, even if it's a joke.
>>25985924https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvs5pqf-DMA
All right, /vpwt/, I have a challenge for you.
Write some smut set in the PMD-verse, where one of the participants is the MC. The challenge: He doesn't have any of the usual "instincts" that his body usually comes with, besides the involuntary reactions. Bonus points for a canine going "Why the fuck am I stuck?!" Or for a reptile confused as to why he now has two dicks.
>>25987538
>Farfetch'd
"What the actual fuck happened? Holy shit, it's just a giant looping, curving, crazy strand of spaghetti."
>>25987580
I was thinking more the traditional starters.
Shinx: "Holy shit, it's got SPIKES? I like you, and I'm supposed to stick this in you?!"I've not quite fallen far enough to try and find out what a pig dick looks like for Tepig.
>>25987599
You don't know weird shit about animal anatomy? Read about animals on wikipedia man, it's really fucking interesting. Then again, I studied biology so I think the fascination is born mostly from "haha wow evolution is neat."
Pigs have corkscrew penises. And orgasm for 30 minutes.
Yes like their tails.
>>25987617
tfw no echidna pokemon
>four pronged dicks
>females dont have nipples, they have milk patches
it's an abstract kind of kink
>>25986171
suddenly a murderous lopunny makes more sense now
So what is everybody's opinion on writing out accents? I'm trying to decide if I should write Jessiebelle's southern drawl out, or not.
>>25989438
Writing out a few names or places in the accent is all you should do, don't pad your dialogue with distracting accent jibberish
>>25987538you better not be fuckin' espanon
>>25989438
It's a lot better to use grammar and native terminology related to their dialect than to write it out. Writing it phonetically can be very distracting.
>>25989533
>>25989438
this, dont physically write out any phonetic things, but words like "y'all" and other terminology get the point across well
Understood. I didn't start out writing her with the drawl, but then the more I thought about it, the more it bugged me. I kinda thought of her drawl as one of the key features that differentiates her from Jessie.
>>25989710
Not the personality?
>>25989710
well yeah, but the drawl is a way to portray her personality. You dont typically portray an old money snob with a gritty Brooklyn accent, like meowth's.
>>25990081
Being an "old money snob" isn't the relevant part of her personality that you must get right (although you should, naturally, along the way).
Jessebelle is not a character of her own; she is defined very precisely by three factors:
1. She interacts directly with James, as does Jessie.
2. To outsiders, Jessebelle and Jessie appear similar.
3. James is Jessebelle-phobic and Jessie-philous.
Being an "old money snob" is part of what causes #3, but it's fuel to the fire—it's not necessary for the character but it is necessary for the writing, to create this circumstance of her being attached to James.
The "southern drawl" is an affect of the "-belle" in the name, which itself is of course a reference to Jezebel. Thus, these are all melodramatic shortcuts to establish a plot-mechanic character quickly. If you become entangled by these three-degrees-removed affects, you'll miss the character herself.
Advice: Write the dialogue straight and ensure that the character works. Then you can punch up her dialogue until it reads like she's speaking in-character. Trying to juggle the affect now slows your writing (you're on /vpwt/ instead of in Notepad), slows your editing (typesetting the affect, maintaining consistency of how you intentionally misspell words, etc.), and you risk being too strong now and coming off un-even as you settle into "the right amount" if you try to get it in one take.
Requesting Chesnaught rubdowns/body worship
>>25989473
>>25989533
>>25989657
>tfw even trying to write common terminology won't express that a character has the boston accent because no one even knows what that sounds like
It's not wicked nizzah, I'll tell you that
>>25990950
>nizzah
The fuck is this? Is that supposed to be like "pissah?"
>>25991294
It's some shit from the generation after the baby boomers. Pissah was also common and interchangeable.
>>25992060
>pissah
Is that a corruption of "pisser" or "pshaw"?
>>25992361
The former. "Wicked pissah;" really great; super awesome.
Eternally Vernal, Chapter 4: Rise Of The Bran Muffins.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6400045/chapters/15083233
>>25992471
>Memecenter
Is this some next level memeing here cge?
>>25992553
I needed an image that was relevant to my update and that came up.
Would you prefer Ebaumsworld?
>>25992573
Honestly, I don't care where the image came from, I just found it bizarre to see.
>>25992590
I was hoping it would be a wicker pizza to draw attention to my update, but it drew attention only to its third-party source.
I blame Boston.
>>25990419
>http://archiveofourown.org/works/6400045/chapters/15083233
>tfw that guy never made his overprotective Chesnaught story
>>25992750
And random cge bump.
is the guy who made those really nice bully stories still around?
is everything going well?
>>25993687
iirc threads outside of vpwt he was looking for a job or something, so he might be focusing on that first before coming back to write more.
>>25992471
What an ominous summary. I'm not expecting an especially happy ending to this one, given Gates' role in LL.
Freja's "wished that she could put him on a different career path" line is really standing out to me. Because Francois is such a stickler for rules that he's ill-suited for ranger work? Or because the position puts him at odds with Gates, who he may have been on good terms with during Gates' ranger days?
It makes sense that pokemon would be included in the rangers, but it does seem odd that Freja isn't a talker while still having a significant rank in the organization. Typically, having a higher station means receiving orders from on high and passing them on, so communication would be a pretty big deal I would think.
Speaking of speech, I'm having a tough time gauging the price of the price of the speech TM. I had the impression from LL that it was expensive but not prohibitively so because Percival was willing to spend the cash for it when the money could have been better used during his summer. On top of that, Vincent must have purchased at least 3 of them for his team despite not being very well off and spending a lot of time at the game corner. EV gives the impression that the TM is extremely expensive. Maybe I'm just underestimating how generous Vincent's girlfriend was or how big of a sacrifice Percival made to get that TM for Fiona. Or reading too much into the rarity and expensiveness shown in EV.
Interesting side effects to Warden's recovery. Pokeballs seem pretty scary in that teleportation paradox kind of way.
Why would the gym not have access to medically relevant data from their own machine? It seems weird that the gym leader would need to twist someones arm to get at the info.
Typos:
Chapter 2:
>Place them were you stand
Chapter 4:
>None of that suck forever
We need more Red and Hilda fanfiction.
>>25993742
oh, that explains it. thanks.
>>25992691
Fuck off cgenobody understands ;_;
>>25993956
+2 for good catches. The problem is that before posting I'm doing a punch-up edit because of that "after it sits for a while you can see it objectively" effect, which is vastly improving the parts I'm changing, but it also means I do stupid typo things.Given Gates' role in LL, the story gives itself away. So, my challenge is to make the story readable despite that.
I hope the Ranger Station half-sub-plot works okay in the end. It's deliberately lightly-touched and more about what it implies than what it portrays.
Because speech alters pokemon behavior in a few ways, it's regarded not unlike a disease, as evidenced by the import/export protocols mentioned in LL and (my next fic). Thus, as an effort to manage it, Speech T.M. is produced in limited numbers and priced high to prevent frivolous application. As seen before, Vincent offered to get it for Phil but Phil declined and he did not force it upon him. We also know that Vera received it from her original trainer. Percival, meanwhile, benefits from his uncle Ulysses.
Machine records: Story-wise, the machine offers statistics and metadata but detailed records of each operation are privileged. Writing-wise, I wanted to show that she cared enough to exceed her authority for their sake and how she's getting dragged into their mess one "favor" at a time.
>>25993687
>>25993742
Not that bully, but I'm still working on the story where Serena is tricked into going on stage nude.
You guys like shitty stories? https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9833370/1/Betrayal-at-its-worst
>>25996042
Why does everyone fetishize over having Ash's friends betray him?
>>25996064
Because he has unnaturally altruistic friends. Why should he enjoy such faithful companionship while IRL we suffer "friends" whose actions are always predicated on a perception of advantage, twisting at the moment a glimpse of greener pasture is captured or a scent of opportunity breezes by.
Because everyone jelly.
Quick question: What do people eat in Pokemon World? I was going to put a scene in where a character shares a bucket of chicken wings, but then I remembered that chickens aren't a thing in Pokemon World (unless you take stuff like Raichu's Indian Elephant pokedex page seriously). What would they eat instead of greasy chicken wings? Torchic wings? That doesn't sound right.
>>25996269
One of the odd things about the world is that people are seen eating meat products that resembles real world food but their isn't any explanation for it.
There's meat abound, but no one bothers to say what it is. You can probably safely assume that people are eating pokemon, as dex entries explain that other pokemon eat each other.
>>25996269
Anime (marketing purposes especially) states that people don't eat meat, but have food that is far more futuristic than we have (often taking in the form of growable stuff. This doesn't stop food imagination from happening, or the rare animal flying past radar every now and then.
Games assume that everyone still kills n eats to an extent, though it was never talked about in detail.
It'll probably be up for interpretation.
>>25996064
It's Ash'sdeep, dark fantasy
>>25996269
I thought regular "animals" in the Pokemon world were just heavily domesticated Pokemon that never needed to use their powers, so they became unable to use them, mass produced... Whatever.
>>25979837
In Electric Tale of Pikachu she was weak to Haunter's attack and almost died, so they have to deal with that shit
>>25996023
How's it coming along?
I need fics.
Fics of this fox.
>>25998091I'm working on it. Slowly as I always go.
>>25998288
Godspeed, regardless.
>>25998388
I need some sort of acceleration. I was up practically all night and all I got done on it was opening the file. :(
I hope you're okay with it being a_male. (What are the chances, right?)
>>25998516
At this point I'm just desperate for a Braixen fic lmao.
As long as it's notlewd
>>25998532
But Snivy, she has needs. Needs that demand that shesnub himin public so everybody can watch.
Lewd, from me. What are the odds?I have almost no clue where this story plans on going, so I'm not ruling anything out.
>>25996269
>>25996393
One game example that sticks out to me is from the ending of Pokemon Ranger Shadows of Almia, in which the MC's mom treats everyone to a breakfast of explicitly-stated vegetable stew. I'm sure meat is still eaten in the Pokemon world, but it seems that many more people make the effort to be vegetarian for obvious reasons.
>>25998639
>cge
>lewd
>public
My mind can't comprehend this, holy shit
>>25998673
Is he referring to the fic he's working on now?
>>25998673
Now that I'm on AO3, I don't have to consider content restrictions.
>>25998728
My next piece has 23k so far. On the menu, a trainer from a canon region as a protagonist, magic fox, leafy smugness (I put them together when I started this like, a year ago, and apparently a few months back PMD matched them. Great minds?), drunk girls sharing motel rooms, a cross-over scene with Eternally Vernal, mysterious laundromat rituals, and probably some payoff to years-old subtext.
I've also got a small piece that I don't know what to do with. Might get binned or scrapped for parts or I'll tighten it up and add it to my V&V series on AO3.
>>25998731
Will you ever return to ffn when the website stops fucking up the upload process?
>>25998091
I have a non-lewd bully-story about Braixen. Do you care if it's about Braixen getting bullied? She's afraid of water and her trainer take her to the beach. I really liked this one.
http://pastebin.com/ajmDDnxQ
>>25996327
>>25996393
>>25997133
>>25998657
Thanks. I changed it to bucket of fried okra. Still greasy and delicious, but a vegetable now.
>>25999536
Ate you the bullybro? How goes the Malva humiliation and zoroark domination?
>>25999940
>Okra
Isn't that slimy and shit? Kinda like nopales?
I also noticed my phone used "their" and not "there" so now I'm mortified and self-conscious.
>>26000106
I'm the other bullybro. I'm doing Serena.
>>26000106
Not the okra guy, actual bullyfag here, I have been very busy lately. Zoroark is going smoothly, the more I write it the more I like it. just started the part with the brutal monsterfuck.
I only have a few notes for Malva, but I k now how I want it to go.
>>25999485
It's down to "It has PM and AO3 somehow doesn't so I guess I'll have to check it sometimes" status.
>>26000327
Okra's the shit, I'd eat it every day if there were more places around here that served it.
Is there some kind of master link to these new bully fics?
>>26002269
I have a decent sized list of links here, but I doubt this is all of them.
http://pastebin.com/TJkyGrbp
>>26002906
needs the one involving Lass and Leaf
>>25998657
>but it seems that many more people make the effort to be vegetarian for obvious reasons.
What reasons? That grass-type Pokémon are that much below the sentience / appreciation chain than any meat Pokémon?
>>26004233
easier to portray foraging and gathering stuff from nature than hunting for meat, especially when dealing with material aimed mostly at a younger audience.
Remember that grass types do sometimes share their fruit with others, and not all foraged plants/berries are pokemon unlike animals (which got replaced with pokemon somewhere in the line).
does Krouscht still come here?
I recently dug up a notepad file of some feedback he gave me on something I did a long time ago but I can't find the original work. Was hoping he perhaps may help me find it somehow.
>>26004233
In official media (especially the anime), Pokemon are generally portrayed as having higher intelligence than even our domesticated animals (which are quite intelligent themselves, actually).
>>25999485
Wait what happened on FF? I've been out of the loop for a long, long time.
>>26005890
Why yes, I am here, though I'm usually in the IRC.
What're we dealing with tonight, friend?
>>26006615
You probably don't remember, as this was literally just over two years ago
I don't have any details of the story or title at all, but we did discuss it over IRC, but I'm hoping you remember something at least so I can hunt for it.
the only real clue I have is that the file I found in particular was named "plateboy". I believe you're the only one that critiqued the work as I saved your feedback but thats it.
if it helps, I went by the name of stybexx.
>>26006627
Fortunately for you, I have logs for as long as I've been here.
Unfortunately for you, when I went back into the logs and pulled up the pastebins you linked me, they turned up dead. See here,
http://pastebin.com/ZAHvBiQL
http://pastebin.com/22fTy2kE
Sorry. I still have other info and your appearance is definitely logged. There's just not much to actually go off.
>>26006694
ah, if it was put on a pastebin and it's ded, then there's no hope
thanks for the help bruh
Question: I'm trying to write a particular character trying to do the headstrong assault you always see in action movies and getting his shit kicked in because he's not an action hero. Admittedly, he's a Pokemon and so are his enemies, but still. Problem is, I've never been in that kind of situation. How would you write a vaguely humanoid Pokemon charging into an enemy camp and promptly getting beaten up by a small army?
>>26006716
Sorry! Best of luck on anything else you do, and have a nice evening, or day, or whatever wherever you are.
>>26006453
There's some sort of problem that breaks opening new stories for some users. I found a blog via search engine that had the same sort of problem, and there was no solution but to make a new account.
I said to myself, "Screw it, AO3 me." Fortunately, I queued for a slot a year ago so after a little familiarization I got everything mirrored with correct HTML formatting to boot, except LL which needs some cleanup to meet my current quality standards.
However, AO3 forgot its PM system somehow. That is the only disappointment so far.Okay, that and the fact that I still have practically no readership.
>>26006733
I'd imagine it'd be something along the lines of
>Courage, adrenaline, surprise, disbelief, struggle, pain
>>26006733
Try to play up his confidence, drive, and general hot-bloodedness. It will add an emotional aspect when he gets his ass kicked. A few suggestions:
-Have him start winning when he's up against one guy on patrol, but then reinforcements come and he's outnumbered
-Have enemies hit him while he's down. Have them show no mercy.
-Have your main character keep going, even when he knows he's going to lose. It shows his headstrong determination and will charge the scene with a sense of "never give up" or a sense of futility and the meaninglessness of spirit and energy, depending on what you're going for.
Hope that helped. Good luck writing your scene!
>>26005890
>plateboy
Holy shit I remember that
that's about the dude who absorbs Plates into his body and punches out pokemon, right?
>>26007350
>>26006627
>>26006716
>>26007350
holy shit I remember this idea too, since I requested this ages ago.
I still have the idea stored away in my comp too, but not the fics done sadly.
http://pastebin.com/HZT8GYLd
>>26007350
>>26007404
The fact that at least 3-4 people remember this from that nebulous idea alone is a testament to its uniqueness.
>>26007404
>>26007350
Interesting. It's a shame nobody has a copy of my draft. It's cool that people remember the topic and have a copy of it though
Finished Serena. It's NSFW.
http://pastebin.com/2CNnV9WE
Also my lass story, reposted for the bully archive.
http://pastebin.com/2V0DgFuV
Morning bump
>>26007707
Feels like Calem went through more psychological bullying than Serena did
>>26007436
Last I remember it had to be redone anyway since things happened too quicky
The serena story was an interesting read. I liked it!
>>26007707
I want that delphox in my team
>>26006748
I don't have an account yet but I am reading.
>>26007404
>tfw I have my own notes for this idea stowed away in my computer those years back
Over the top ideas were always the most interesting
>>26006748
>ao3 is still in beta after all these years
What's keeping them?
>>26013129
Certainly not funding since they just scored 90k in a week-long drive.
>>26013129
>>26013848
Mostly it's just so they can blame any bugs or errors as "hehe we're still in beta." happens all the time, especially with games but it applies to other shit too.
Writing is actually starting to happen, i'm able to get on computers.
Might be a bit hard to post links here, because >library parental blocks
but i'll figure something out
>>26013930
damn, that's actually pretty clever.
>>26006748
I really am reluctant to move over to AO3, but I'm not going to make a new FF.net account either. I'll have to see how the dice roll when I finally go to try uploading this chapter.
Fuck.
>>26007350
Shit I think I remember this too
>>26016406
>I really am reluctant to move over to AO3
Why? if I may ask.
>>26016478
It's a silly reason, but the person I got an invite from several years ago I've since had a falling out with. They're still there, so I guess it just feels kind of funny to start using it now.
"Fun" question, how would you describe the feeling of complete despair, the total loss of hope, and the realization that you cannot succeed?I'm just trying to spark a discussion
>>26017800
It feels like the interior of your body has fallen away and left an echo chamber in its place. Ideas and thoughts, hopeful and forward thinking, enter and bounce about, but do not stick and dissolve into nothing as they crash against the walls.
You stopped searching for where your insides have gone because you know they'll never be found. It is at this point that despair is no longer an active sensation that overwhelms you, but the very fabric of your existence. Awake or asleep, despair is a rule of your existence, not an event. Thoughts are informed by it, speech is forged in it, and hope is not so much foreign as it is extraplanar.
At least, that's how I'd describe it. It's a fair bit difficult to properly word, given that I haven't nor do I know anyone that has truly fallen into an inescapable pit of despair. Close to it though, and trying to drag them out is a maddening experience.
>>26017800
I would avoid describing it entirely and instead try to build up to that point in such a way that the reader will be able to imagine how the character is feeling based on the events that took place. Trying too hard to tell the reader what the characters are feeling will only distance them from those characters. You often see authors try to convey strong emotion by using the narrator to describe it in excruciating, flowery detail, but a reader has no idea what the "cold feeling of foreboding which enclosed him in an icy grip of despair" feels like. If a reader can understand how a character should be feeling after some event, they will fill in the blanks and imagine the feeling in a way that is far more impactful than if they tried to understand a description of what the character was feeling.
>>26018114
so then, how would it be done by someone that is already in total despair?
All I can think of is them acting aloof, not caring about anything around them or their wellbeing, and even then I worry about making this character's despair unrealistic for a hurt/comfort fic.The character I have in mind is an OC that is finally released/discharged from the hospital after a month of intensive surgery. Apparently for some post-surgeries people do not do well psychologically/mentally and I'd like to try capturing that feeling.
>>26016733
The choice is yours to make, but I would file that away under "Cutting off nose to spite face." If that person invited you to dinner, would you stop eating?
>>26017800
>how would you describe the feeling of complete despair, the total loss of hope, and the realization that you cannot succeed?
"My usual."
>>26017931
I can say from experience that this is accurate.
>>26017800
Hope?
I've learned that there can be no true despair without hope...
Planning on writing a one-shot.
Student/trainer keeps female Feebas and Kirlia for his team.
He's worried because both of them have gone into heat and are refusing every suitable male in the breeding center.
Besides, he thinks he's responsible and old enough to have more Pokemon on his team.
He goes home disappointed, puts Feebas in her tank and cuddles up with his Kirlia.
After dreaming lewd dreams about a way-too-young girl and an ugly woman sexing him and turning into beautiful amazons, he wakes up.
Waking up, he finds a Gardevoir by his side, and a Milotic wrapped around him in his bed, and covered in suspicious fluids.
>>26021645
>Milotic and Gardevoir
Cliche Pokemon picks.
>both of them have gone into heat
Cliche premise.
>Pokemon evolve through sex
Cliche ending. That's a hat trick you got there, son. The dream part is... fairly interesting, I guess? But really it's just an excuse not to write actual Pokefucking, isn't it?
This seems fairly weak.
>>26021645
By all standards you're writing a stock one shot because it features widely used tropes and mon.
Do it well and that's about the most praise you'll get here: it is a mechanically well-written but tired tale. Do it well and you'll take in considerable praise on ft.net as well, as the premise is common hit voraciously consumed by much of the userbase.
If all you want is your one-shot for what it is, then go ahead, I won't dissuade you. If you're looking to break new ground you'll have to either switch out your choice of mon, your premise and resolution, or both.
>>26021645
Feebas fucking is interesting
>Hey guys I have an idea
>It includes a Gardevoir
It just doesn't die, does it?
>>26023292
Short answer, no.
Long answer: no, why would it? That is how popularity functions. Imagine a significant portion of the fanbase fervently loved Onix. Stories, art, threads, even the shambling form of subculture that surrounds a single fictitious entity all focused on Onix rises up and becomes very visible in the overarching community.
Your statement would be the same, except you supplant Gardevoir with Onix. Why does everything have to have Onix? This hasn't happened because the human form and stylistic choices of the former generate greater interest in humans than the latter's styling and form do. Because humans like things shaped like they are first, like their infant forms second, and cute fuzzy things third. It's easier to relate to.
So, no, it won't die. It goes against the mode of human thought for it to die. If you'd rather it did die, then you must create something that can kill it, because wishing for it is not enough.
>>26023949
>If you'd rather it did die, then you must create something that can kill it
...And then you'd have two problems.
That is how the "social brain" that decides that those things are likeable works. If you think you can kill it, it's because you have understood it and liked it yourself well enough that you can create something that is "the same but more" - and it has to be the same, for the masses do not desire for something different. But all you do is offer the masses a complimentary addiction, not a substitute, and by definition not one that is "less worse" than what they had before; for extra points, you can not just out and retcanon their former fad. See: Lucario → Zoroark.
>>26024442
I don't think killing something here requires you to like it, simply understand what it was that made it popular.
While the usual response is indeed to just create a modified thing that is still similar enough for accessibility, it is entirely possible to create something that directly opposes everything that was popular about a particular thing.
The Postmodern movement did both - built upon Modernist foundations for some pieces and artists, and in other cases just outright bucked convention.
But I guess I have to ask: what's being argued here in the end? That popular things are bad because they trample what is less popular, or that popular things are impossible to surpass, only keep pace with? Something else entirely?
I guess I ask because popular things have died before, but their deaths are typically the product of time.
>>26021645
Finished it.
IDK what Blue-board rules allow for me to guide you guys to the fic.
>>26026556
paste it in a pastebin, share link, and you're good. It's all in the OP.
>Please, for the convenience of everyone involved, link to a host like Fanfiction.net, Pastebin or Google Docs rather than dumping your fics in text posts. This not only keeps the thread tidy (and keeps you from getting an infraction for spam), but it also provides a more permanent place to store your work.
>>26026562
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600089907
I have every confidence you'll meet my expectations with all manner of flames and hatred.
>>26026593
now that's what I call fugging the ugly out of Feebas.I wouldn't worry too much about flame/hatred here. It rarely happens these days unless someone makes an ass out of themselves.I'm also surprised people still use adult-fanfiction.net to upload stuff. Does it still have an audience?
>>26026593
>I let out a screech of pleasure as she did the same.
>>26026556
http://pastebin.com/0cfU0rhi
>>26026593
Smacks of inexperience, but that's not a strike against you. Nothing particularly offensive, nothing particularly appealing. It's smut through and through, and you're clearly not trying to move it past that designation so it is hard to criticize something for being what it is trying to be, outside of how uninterested I was in the smut. I skimmed right past it, but I think that's where my own preferences for how smut is handled come into play.
Grammatically it's largely fine. A few hiccups, awkward phrasings and wayward lowercase I's but the work is easy to read.
The only real thing that sticks out to me is that the entire "let me inspect your vagina" section read like a clinical procedure and that was bizarre.
What are some long fics filled with CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and SELF-DISCOVERY?
>>26028140
so far, anything involving PMD in the catalog
>>26028172
alright cool
So what do you guys think of pokemon speaking in non pmd fics?
personally, i feel it's lazy and not a good way to handle things, but that might just be because i haven't seen it done well yet.
>>26028421
It usually breaks the world with its implications. Most of the time, it's done for convenience and nothing more, when it's such a fundamental change that it should have major influences on the world and by extension the story.
>>26028421
So far I've kept it a quality ofGhost and Psychics, along with some exceptions in other typingsand tried to remain cognizant of what it implies.
Didn't have to deal those implications a great deal in Second Autumn until the end, when you get news about what's happening in Sinnoh and what not, and it's going to be an important factor in Au Coup Par Coup, but generally speaking, speech doesn't bother me if it's coming from a line that it would make senses to have it come from.
That may be in part to my general linguistic take on everything I read and write about though.
>>26028453
>>26028576
yeah, the most annoying thing i've found is when they just somehow have "pokemon translators" and all the pokemon refer to the trainer as "master"
i'm not sure how the whole "master" thing happened, but it's everywhere andi'm kinkshaming
>>26028625
>"pokemon translators"
So far, cge is the only one I've seen do something interesting with it.
>>26028625
Fuck my name disappeared god damn it.
I dunno, I had Viola do that to Johanneswho found it supremely creepy and told her to stop and just call him Johannes, which she gradually learns to do.
I don't care much for translators either, but I did rather like the idea of telepathic voices being cold and unnerving to those that aren't close to the "speaker."
