/vpwt/: 'An egg for your troubles' Edition
>post fanfics you like
>share your own fics, ask for advice, post story updates
>discuss writerly struggles with fellow writefriends
Join us in IRC at [ #vpwritethread on irc.rizon.net ] to discuss your fics, hang out and chat, and be frightened by the regulars!
Previous Thread: >>25631616
Check out the catalog for a directory of fics from fellow writefags,
>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtN4D_9CSw8JJ9uO6v0oQqdtKEkS8aFAvfxqI96XfSE/edit?usp=sharing
>Can I post NSFW fics?
Absolutely! There are no rules against NSFW text links.
>How should I post my fics?
Please, for the convenience of everyone involved, link to a host like Fanfiction.net, Pastebin or Google Docs rather than dumping your fics in text posts. This not only keeps the thread tidy (and keeps you from getting an infraction for spam), but it also provides a more permanent place to store your work.
>Can I add a fic I wrote to the catalog?
Sure! Check the catalog for the submission link. In there, you can find a link to a Google Form - fill out all the necessary information and it will be submitted for review automatically. Technology is incredible!
We're also looking to collect ideas for fanfics as a resource for stumped writers. Feel free to throw an idea out there; someone may choose to use it themselves!
Ideabin: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X072SSWulcC6RJRrPA6v9XtyohRybvMBl6Fh49wHsRw
Topic of the Thread: Did you ever had a hard time reading a powerful scene, whether due to vocabulary or emotions?
Anyways, OP, please listen to me. I know that it's not really related to this thread. I went to the Safari Zone a while ago. You know, Safari Zone? Well, there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in. Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 Poké off" written on it. Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots. You don't come to the Safari Zone just because it's 150 Poké off, fool. It's only 150 Poké, 1-5-0 POKé for crying out loud. There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some rare Pokémon, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna catch a Girafarig." God, I can't bear to watch. You people, I'll give you 150 Poké if you get out of those bushes. The Safari Zone should be a bloody place. That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped shrubbery can start a battle at any time, the Hyper-Beam-or-be-Hyper-Beamed mentality, that's what's great about this place. Women and children should screw off and stay home. Anyways, I was about to start catching, and then the bastard next to me goes "Chansey, use Rollout." Who in the world uses Rollout nowadays, you moron? I want to ask him, "Do you REALLY want to use a move that takes five turns?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour. Are you sure you don't just want to say "Rollout"? Coming from a Safari veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, Farfetch'd. That's right, Farfetch'd. This is the vet's way of Pokémon catching. Farfetch'd means more green onion than anything. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key. And then, it's awesome. This is unbeatable. However, if you catch this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the old toothless man next time; it's a Double-Edge attack. I can't recommend it to amateurs. What this all really means, though, is that you, OP, should just stick with battling Youngsters outside of Pallet Town.
>>25721078
http://youtu.be/6DJswI9pcjE
Fic recap:
An anon is looking for feedback for a short promt exposition about a Gym leader's cowardice. Please help him out. SFW
http://pastebin.com/NvmGCjNv
There was a lot more chat about writing struggles last thread than anything being shared, so that's it.
>>25721595
This shot lacks impact because the characters lack motivations. As presented, they're a paper-thin archetype and two enabling plot mechanics.
>>25721595
There were some updated fics at the end of the thread iirc
>>25721078
TOTT: Of course. That's the point of some literature, is it not? I think what comes to mind is reading some of the more gruesome passages of Kosinzki's "The Painted Bird." I'm not particularly bothered by gore, by torture, by just about any of the atrocities my fellow man can and has inflicted on others, but a couple of times in this novel it did manage to get me to rethink if I wanted to really turn the page.
I suppose it's because it's told from the ever-shifting (and progressively degenerating) viewpoint of a young protagonist that experiences or otherwise bears witness to the depths of depravity to which individuals and collectives alike can sink in the face of false salvation.
>>25721078
TotT: Actually, yes. It was a story a friend wrote where a trainer had to put down their pokemon. I made the mistake of reading such a story during the time we were discussing such things about my own pets.
>>25721595
reposting what I said before thread ended.
It gets the job done at its basic, though I'm not feeling much emotional impact. It might have to do with line 8 with allieving pain. This is more notable in line 17, which could use more of that 'fear' impact.
Considering the trainer is absolutely dangerous, I could think that Robert could still hear the screams of his Grovyle fresh in his mind, contributing to his ultimate decision. If he never experienced true fear prior.
Don't just make him sweaty, make his heart beat, his breathing quick and irrational, heart clenching. Experience the fear.
Who would've though there were more of these image story caps hanging around.
NSFW
Write thread seems deader than usual today
>>25725452
Everyone is writing.
Fuck it, decided to start writing my fic.
http://pastebin.com/9ZemZFjc
Just the intro so far. Probably much more detail to come but hopefully my writing style is enough to suffice so far.
Busy producing content
>>25726197
Or validating it.My next Chapter 1, seconds ago, earned a position in the Release Candidate folder.
>writing my first ever serious attempt at a fic
>get up to the fluffy part before taking a break
>accidentally procrastinate it for the entirety of spring break
>think I'll be able to start again as soon as a little inspiration hits me
>pic related happens
suffering
Any word of the Skyla rapefic or should I stop hoping?
>meet cute girl
>get her number
>now I have renewed inspiration to continue one of the stories I put on the back burner
Livin the good life
>>25728304
>meanwhile, the only time I can get over my writer's block is after working my legs off scrubbing tables and fixing drink machines
life is suffering
>>25728304
Good to hear anon, I'm happy for you. I just a pie in the oven and am AFK fishing in BDO. Time to finally finish this fucking chapter.
>>25728319
>having to clean shit in the restaurant biz
You have my undying sympathy.
>>25728345
It's not even a restaurant, I'm working in my college's dining hall. Every weekend 5:30 to 9, and then again on Tuesdays, cleaning, drinks, and also grill every other Sunday. The worst part is, they intentionally keep it 15 minutes short of 4 hours. Why? Because if it was a 4-hour shift, I'd actually get to take a 15-minute break somewhere in there.
Today was especially bad, though - I close Saturdays, and usually I grab myself a quick bowl of chicken tenders before going in just for the protein boost because I won't be getting dinner. But for absolutely no fucking reason, the guy working that shift decided he had better places to be for the ten minutes I had available to eat, clock in, and get to work. So now I'm sitting here hungry, sleep-deprived, and tired.Since my characters are in a similar situation, it works out perfectly.
>>25728400
Damn son, I feel for ya. At least you've got the brain juices going, right?
>>25728506
Sort of. I did end up switching over to 3rd person, but I keep accidentally typing "I" instead of anything else. I'm not entirely sure why. Is this a sign that I should just write in first, or that I need to git gud? I mean, it could work both ways...
>>25723039
hi, had to sleep and go to work. thanks for the feedback, i agree with everything you said. this is just a flashback, but I want it to be a powerful scene, particularly since it's the first glimpse of the antagonist. Currently in the midst of making things more impactful.
I had the whole recall the injured pokemon to ease its pain cause that seemed to be the logical thing to do, but looking back it does kind of kill the tension. they never recalled criticaly injured mons in the show, so I guess maybe that's not good for them. I've decided to cut that part out.
yo Mimiga how's the doggo coming along
>>25728737
Slow and steady, unfortunately. I'm pretty fuckin busy for being a neet, and I'm about to not even be a neet anymore.
1/3 done for the final draft of chapter 6, then I gotta do the last check. It's not too long of a chapter, so it should be fine as long as I keep chugging along.
>>25728991
>>25728523
It's likely just a sign that you mapped out the story in first person and are still acclimating to it being in third.
No real bearing on what the perspective should be, just a holdover from what you envisioned being different from what is being rendered.
>>25728991
>I'm about to not even be a neet anymore.
Good. You'll appreciate writing time more when you must make the most of it.
>>25729002
Eventually
Still won't be as bad as chapter 5
bumping thread with Chapter 5
http://pastebin.com/5Sj7XDKp
It's really fucking long (almost 11k words I think) and I tried to dedicate more time for Pip and Andrew. Still nothing extremely important to the plot happens except for the Elekid stuff. Would appreciate critique or feedback.
>>25732795
>Still nothing extremely important to the plot happens
Reading this, I feel prepared to critique despite not actually reading the text. (I'm likely not to read this today because I'm busy and what free time I have I'm dedicating to finishing my next story.) Eleven thousand is a lot of words for what sounds like establishment of supporting cast members, so I hope you are establishing meaningful things.
Chapter 5 of Second Autumn is out. Hopefully it's good.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11293393/5/Their-Second-Autumn
>>25733971
Liking this story quite a bit more now that the storyline has taken over the lemons for the most part. Keep up the good work.
>the fic that I started is still lying there undone
WELL I WAS PROCRASTINATING.
...
>>25734243
>the fic that I started over a year ago is still lying there undone
WELL I HAD TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT WORDS TO COME.
...69k, writing the climax at this moment, so it's probably about 6k from finished depending on how much denouement it wants to have.
>>25734323
My thing was supposed to be a one shot, and considering what I wrote, it's probably landing into slice of life.
>>25727037
Christ, what's wrong with her hands?
>>25734345
>excuses
Everybody has to finish their veggies.
>>25734405
She's got Gardevoir arms.
>>25734345
what thing were you writing anyway?
>>25734465
one shot.man
of whatever quality.
>>25734437
Veggies? DidI miss something?
I'm currently in the midst of writing out a big reveal for the plot of one of my fics and I'm going to be especially careful with how I present it considering the original mystery took place some 300thousandwords back when I was a novice author.
>>25734732
I'm writing a story that, because all my stories are connected, is going to try to work for both audiences who know nothing about what's going on and who know everything about what's going on.
*raises arm for cool stories brofist*
>>25727037
>those hands
Megaman/10
>>25734203
Glad to hear it mate.
>>25734937
That's what I'm talking about, keeping your audience(s) in mind is a sound approach - good luck to you.I was surprised that, after taking an extended hiatus, there were still readers out there who took the time of day to review my latest chapter. Though it was far from being my best work (I am settling back into my groove again), the motivation to improve my writing is what helps me continue to push my story forward.The way I see it, reader interest and feedback is without question necessary for lengthy fictions.
I think 72,000 is about right for this one.
>>25737356
You uploading?
Cuz I'm out of things to read
>>25738035
Not without cursory proof-reading.
But soon, probably.
For reasons that will be obvious as the story unfolds, I don't want to delay it more than the year it's already been delayed.
>>25738151
Godspeed, cge.
I eagerly wait
>>25738249
>>25737356
>>25738151
>tfw haven't read any of your stories yet
I now know what to do all day.
>>25735693
>tfw a minty chapter is finally coming back
>>25724265
>Gliscor
Well that's new
>>25724265
>turns into a human
Someone post that one stock photo of a dude looking disgusted with his hands palms-out to the camera. You know the one.
>>25746437
I was more bothered by how poorly written it was. The amount of detail given to what the Gliscor turned into was really off putting.
Not my cuppa tea.
>>25747018
Yeah, not only is it a TF fic, but the transformation is actually to make the eventual sex (which hasn't been posted, thankfully) "less" degenerate. But in reality, it just adds a shit fetish and makes it way more boring. I'd want a Gliscor x Human fic to actually involve fucking a cute bat, not a human who sorta looks like a bat if you squint really hard.
>>25747323
To be fair, having never used any pokemon abilities, she could be an entity that merely had the form of a gliscor for a while.
>jelly because your tulpa ran away to find somebody who would love her unconditionally.
>>25747513
Tulpas don't run away they fucking murder you.
It's one of many reasons to stay the fuck away from that shit.
>>25747323
Yeah, because why pretend on the internet of all places that you're not a degenerate. At least here you're anonymous. Well relatively anyway.
>>25734243
It's okay man, I have a flash drive filled with oneshots and unfinished fanfics frommy sophomore year of high school. It's the literary version of your middle school deviantart page. I wrote fucking fanfics for english class and read them aloud.
>>25748532
The retroactive embarrassment must slay you whenever you think about it. I feel for you.
>>25748532
>tfw my ancient Deviantart underwent severe chemotherapy to remove the cancers of middle school fanfiction.
>Over 50 pages of hidden comment strings
>>25748544
It's more funny than anything now, all things considered. Its certainly something to tell the grandkids about.The most embarassing fanfic related thing I've ever done was actually last semester. I sometimes use printer paper to draw/commentate story ideas on and I happened to have read a particularly infuriating Mega Man smut fic on AO3. So I made a whole rant on that paper about who should actually fuck the MC, accompanied by some animu sketches. Then I stapled it to my bio homework and didn't realize until I got the homework back weeks later. I will never speak to that teacher again. Every time I think about it I want to die.
>>25748532
>>25748624
>manage to remember an old ass ff.net login for my first account
>literal edge everywhere compounded with prose so bad my stomach lurched
Oh god why I hate memory lane
>>25748681
>Then I stapled it to my bio homework and didn't realize until I got the homework back weeks later.
>>25748688
You should post it for the lulz. I send mine to people so we can both laugh at my shit taste.
>actually working on things out in public
>even smut
>>25749045
I worked on shit out in the open in college. Everyone just assumed it was a paper.
>>25749045
>not writing about auradoge's cock burling into your sissyboy self insert trainer OC's asshole in plain sight of anyone within two feet of you
Get your head in the game anon
>>25749045
All you need to say is you're a writer and word it properly. People tend to respect you if you just word it right. And if you're a good writer, you should be able to word it right.
>>25751051
>What are you writing about?
>Not pokemon dicks.
Phew.
>>25751216
Phrasing my friend.
Just say "I'm writing a romance about a fantasy race."
Yes, that worked.
>>25751216
"Whoa, that's alot of text, what are you writing?"
>flip to a tab I have open to some text I'm reading in class
"An analysis of Francis E Dec and his general insanity. He was a pretty fascinating guy and his ranting, nonsensical work is pretty fun to read through."
>they nod and leave, or ask a few questions and I answer them because I actually know that material
That's what I did once or twice, more or less. Don't think it was E. Dec though.
>>25748681
>>25748681
You know what, that sounds like suffering.
Here, you can have this request I did a thousand years ago of the shittiest thing I've ever written in middle school. As long as we're sharing our suffering, right?
>>25751503
>...written in middle school
>Yveltal visible in the picture
>>25751577
>Yveltal
>Implying that's not another weavile
I know when middle school was, you doofus
>>25751615
You can't convince me that's not either a Yveltal or a Throh.
>>25751631
I'm not trying to convince you, I'm just stating that you're wrong.
>>25751631
Hmm. Nah, it's a Weavile. You can see the fan, and its black is a different color of black than Yveltal's. Also, the diamond thing is the gem of a Weavile. The red and jet black is just some "Evul" aura.
>>25751650
>>25751666
Ah, okay. I had to squint pretty hard, but I actually do see it now. Sorry for doubting you, anon.What this REALLY means is that you predicted Yveltal's existence years before it became a reality. That's something special.
>>25751503
Well whatever it is, I home the commissioner was happy. It's a lot better than what I can do when it comes to coloring, anyway.
Just for you fags in the writethread, I'll see what terrible /vp/ related things I can dredge up from the land of 16 years old.
>>25751695
>Commissioner
It's a request of mine to a friend who was hyper sick at tablet-fu. It's art of my own middle-school fanfic bullshit, hence my sharing it.
Here's another one of em that they drew, miscellaneous weavile though.
>>25751503
Well, at least the Weavile looks cute?
Anyone see this thread?
>>29751097
What if you people in this thread keeps saying how amazing it would be if someone wrote something with the similar premise and used these ideas in the thread for inspiration.
>>25754410
Shit, meant >>25751097
>>25754440
>Degrassi but with Pokémon
I'd read it.
>>25754440
Are highbschool-ish stories still popular?
>>25749045
>>25749202I'm not gonna lie. I've been trying this out to capture the fear/risk (thrill?) aspect of getting caught in my smutfic. What better way to write about a feeling than experiencing it yourself, amirite?
>>25756146
You sound like the opening of a hentai work.
>>25756146
>tfw getting caught is one of the least fun things ever
I'm honestly surprised I didn't get my ex or myself arrested
>>25756444
Trips demand greentext.
>>25756489
Oh jeez. Okay.
>I had sex in my car a lot
>no really, not bragging, like way more than I ever should have
>it's not glamorous it's actually really uncomfortable but I was a horndog and so was she
>abandoned parking lot
>except parking enforcement actually checks these lots
>flashlight in my face as I'm getting her tits out
>lonely street with just some quiet houses
>unironically tear her panties off with my teeth and toss them out of the car
>guess that made noise from slamming the door because I'm not leaving torn panties in my car I already left condoms on the floor once
>as we're finishing up and getting dressed I see a guy standing behind my car taking down my plates
>that's how I drove halfway across town frantic and half naked
>doing it in the usual spot near her house
>halfway through look out my rear window (tinted)
>some dude in his car is recording this maybe I don't know
>I'm too fucking horny and retarded and scared to say anything so we just finish and then hes gone
And those are the stories of how getting caught fucking is not a fun experience. Good laugh though. And I guess I'm out there on the internet now, maybe.
Oh well.
>>25756945
...How small is your car that anything worth recording could be seen through the rear window?
>>25756945
Also, how does one "ironically" tear panties off with their teeth?
>>25756986
I think that was more to indicate it's not hyperbole but you've got a point. It's also harder to do than it looks, fun fact.
It was a tiny four door sedan. Like I said, uncomfortable.
>>25757042
Ahh, that last bit makes sense.
Though, I think the word you were looking for was "literally"
>>25757056
Yeah that is the word, you're right.
Yeah, fun times. Don't recommend it though.
>>25749045 >>25749202 >>25756146 >>25756444 >>25756945
I thought we were still talking about people looking over shoulders and reading things being written that they weren't prepared for.
I thought there was a fun tale about a fundamentalist trying to get a cop to arrest the both of you for collaborating smutfics at a Carl's Junior.
I thought so very wrongly.Not having enough cargo space for a mattress and enough four-wheel-drive to do it under the stars with nobody watching but sasquatch and spy satellites.
Millennials need to up their fucking game.
>>25757269
Nigga I live in the city in southern Cali.
We've got buildings and the desert- and the desert is too far away to drive to in a reasonable time.
>tfw millennial extends all they way back to 1980s
Jesus I guess I'll take being 25 over not being a millenial
>>25756945
Jesus man
Respect for removing panties with your teeth though. That's gotta be hard.
Is anybody else having trouble opening a new story at FFN? I get through the category popup but then I get a blank page except for the buttons across the top and along the side. Tried three browsers, might be script blocking but everything else works.
>>25758131
Nah haven't tried that, posting new chapters works fine for me.
>>25727037
>No belly button
The biggest sin of all.
>>25758173
If whoever might not mind, I'd appreciate confirmation that it's not broken at the FFN level, to enter the genre (game/pokemon) and get the screen where you would input the title, blurb, and first chapter document.
>>25759070
I'm at work now sorry, maybe I can check when I get home. One chapter was also updated earlier today without issue.
I guess it's time to migrate to AO3. I think I'll have a look around.
>>25760205
Just upload to both sites, it's not that difficult to do. The most difficult thing about it is getting the initial request to join AO3 verified.
>>25760830
It's difficult to upload to the FFN half of both if it's borked, and seeing somebody else online had the same problem and could not solve it short of creating a new account (sounds like the database has a problem) I will gladly mirror across and if FFN never gets fixed, so be it.
Waterlogged and Can't Escape are up, and the rest as I get around to them.
This is my first time posting in a fanfic thread. Or, anything fanfic-related, for that matter. A couple of days ago I was looking for somecutepics of Jasmine, and I found this story.
It was so good. I don't know if I just don't know what is good and what isnt, but this is honestly something I would buy to read. It really is excellent.
>author has no idea how to shorten his chapters though. It's more than a thousand pages on a PDF.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1609088/chapters/3425729
>>25761488
Oh hey I remember this. The author used to pop in here now and then a few years back for updates. He went ghost mode recently though.
Last I heard he was working on something involving Lucas and some Yandere Ice gym leader girl.
Spring has sprung.
Eternally Vernal, Chapter 1.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6400045/
>>25761488
forgive me for committing a cardinal sin but:
>skip around through that story
>read a few chapters
>read the ending
>that fucking ending
I don't want to sit through 512k words worth of angst and misery but god damn is that a good ending
>>25761974
You should've read the whole thing. Not to spoil for anyone, but the last couple chapters had me yelling "GIRL NO HES NOT GOOD ENOUGH" like a black woman.
Reading the big reveal made me choke on my sandwich.
>>25759070
>tfw it's been so long since you posted something that you forgot how to postI was able to get to the publish screen without any problems.
>>25761488
This story would have been better if the main character wasn't Jasmine. I've never seen someone so out of character in my life.
>>25761952
Damn it, your world is so... cohesive. All your minor worldbuilding details always stay consistent, and you always make a point of bringing them up, and minor characters reappear now and again, and they're always a walking reference to the fic they premiered in, and you just have your shit together so well. You never cease to make me froth with envy, cge.
So a while ago someone was requesting some breeding fics.
Seems like Vulpsis (under a new name now) reuploaded her old fic about just that. NSFW
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11846962/1/Castelia-Daycare-Services
>>25764825
Oh, joy. Just when I thought we'd been rid of him and his shitty dime-a-dozen smut. And roleplay logs, now? Is he serious? Whatta maroon.Also, no one actually thinks he's a girl, right? Like, seriously now.
page 8 bedtime bump
>>25765327>Also, no one actually thinks he's a girl, right? Like, seriously now.
It made my suggestion that Vulpsis put that other dude in her sex dungeon more amusing to think about. And less Pulp Fiction to think about.
Anyone need a 5 AM Ears alert? Too bad, I'm not your alarm clock.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BDDEJaVjSxd1PPabcOqXP3nAYYwyzDYpGxb5_cprZZs/edit?usp=sharing
Feel free to tear into this one for more than any wayward punctuation, I'm a little worried for the tempo. Frankly, feel free to tear into the whole entirety of Ears considering this is the final chapter. I wanna know how I can improve my storytelling and delivery so that projects I have in the future can be actually impressive. While my grammar and things seemed to have improved greatly over the course of Ears, I kind of doubt I've gotten any better at making a compelling story than before I started. Anyways, get this shit nice and ravaged so that /pmdg/ can enjoy it to its fullest.
>>25768171
>I kind of doubt I've gotten any better at making a compelling story than before I started.
Is that because you re-read the piece now that it is complete and, comparing it to a previous work, something feels missing?
>>25768208
There is very little to compare it to, all I've ever done for public view was at most a 25k word one-shot (which I believe had quite a decent story for how much it was a gambling setting). I'm primarily worried that the length of the fic might have fucked with my ability to stay on track and cohesive since I have done very little in the way of large-scale chapter fics. But, my 55k word shitty Skyrim RP was something I still imagine would be amazing if I went back and spent weeks sprucing it up, so I suppose there is some legitimacy in that. It's comparing something complete that feels decent but not perfect to something that held squandered potential.
>>25768241
>first thick fic
>not perfect
Be glad you brought it to a conclusion. Few achieve as much.
Let's turn it around. Do you think from this experience you're better prepared enough to make the Skyrim piece compelling, or would doing it now leave you with the same >I kind of doubt< feel?
>>25761952
Looks good so far. The main character unintentionally acquiring a pokémon that doesn't fit him and said pokémon displaying personality one wouldn't necessarily expect from its kind make for an interesting setup. Anthony already shows traits of that 'gray' 'realistic' type of character who people may find agreeable/disagreeable to variable degrees, the type of character I think fits well into your weird pessimistic/'realistic' interpretation of the pokémon world. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this develops.
There are times where it felt to me that your style was hurting the substance; some descriptions seemed distracting or unnecessarily convoluted, making the mental image of the scene less clear. The poem section appeared rather gimmicky to me.
Some of the move descriptions felt a little off; referring to them as "casting" sounds strange in the context of Pokémon.
The usual worldbuilding questions apply (how does the system stay stable, how do TMs work and why is future-tech so limited in appearance, how does pokémon culture work on a larger level). A non-talking quadruped being in a position of authority in a human organization is just another element of weirdness, but that may yet turn out to be part of the story.
>>25768352
>I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this develops.
Goal #1 accomplished. Now to pray it pays off.
>some descriptions seemed distracting or unnecessarily convoluted
"Convoluted" is new; I wouldn't mind an indication on what shot earned that adjective.
>The poem section appeared rather gimmicky to me.
I felt that way at first, but the more times I ran through the poetry jams in proof-reading, the more I liked them. They may be an acquired taste thing, or I may be dumb and am actually appreciating the challenge of writing them since fitting the syllable limit and finding expressions that rhymed was a fun puzzle.
>referring to them as "casting" sounds strange in the context of Pokémon.
One of my first big decisions in presenting pokemon techniques was that (generally) Status moves would be portrayed as magic, and thus be "cast". A phrase like "the pokemon used agility" is ambiguous, it could mean the technique or simply being agile; adopting the jargon common to magic use helps clarify when it's a supernatural effect. And besides, for all intents and purposes, pokemon power is magic.And my next fic looks like it will be pushing the envelope on how magical they can be. Hence the braixen.
>The usual worldbuilding questions
If you're approaching this story "clean," not having read any of my others, then a lot of the worldbuilding specifics are addressed but elsewhere. Technical Machine application is portrayed in this story (and has been in a couple others).
Technology is a tricky topic because Pokemon IRL spans 20 years during which the idea of a Pokedex went from Star Trek Tricorder future tech to a novel, superfluous app on anybody's real phone. Even the games show this struggle in how the accessory technology changes each gen. It's a battle that can't be won, especially since my stories jump about in their own timeline, so I compromised by making the distribution of technology enigmatic.
Thanks for drawing first blood. :D
>>25727037
probably long gone anon. Sorry.
>>25768564
>for all intents and purposes, pokemon power is magic
"The wizard cast haste" is not much better than "the pokémon used agility". They're both shortcuts, not descriptions. I think it's a missed opportunity to not describe how 'supernatural' powers work. (By the way, when magic is real, it is no longer 'beyond nature'.)
>worldbuilding
I've read all of your stories. The big questions were not sufficiently answered. The stability question was handwaved away in a single sentence somewhere in Love Lost, nothing more.
The functionality of TMs (and, related, how pokémon move knowledge and inheritance functions) was not described (portrayed, but "that's what it looks like in action" is not "it works by [this internal process involving the universe's set of physics]"). Considering how it's tied to one of your world's biggest canon deviations, I think it's something that should be elaborated on.
Just like in the source, pokémon-related technology is science-fantasy while the rest of the world operates on a contemporary level of technology. That is not something that makes inherent sense.
>>25769721
>The big questions were not sufficiently answered.
If I explain too much, becomes info-dumping my personal opinion of how things could work, and that's no more valuable than anybody else's opinion, and if mine and my reader's conflicts, that distracts the reader from the story. So, I choose to fix only what I must to make for an interesting-to-imagine portrayal and explain only what's relevant.Being patient also protects me from painting myself into a corner. Anything I don't put in the text "now" I can change my mind on later, which might make a future story better.
I appreciate that my theoretical construction has been detailed enough that the unrevealed and undefined details are so intriguing and conspicuous for their absence that they become a problem of their own. Feels a lot better than being flagrantly inconsistent.
>>25770012
You're able to weave worldbuilding into your stories well enough, it's just that I'm seeing a lack of detail in some important areas.
>>25770012
Cge, I'm writing an ongoing series of stories as well and was wondering: what are the most words you have ever put into a chapter? I understand quality trumps quantity, believe me when I say that but I still would like to know your thoughts on extensive chapters; particularly for maintaining the scene of an important reveal or penning a significant fight scene.
Thank you in advance.
>>25768171
I didn't think I was one for diabetes-sweet, lovey-dovey romance, Mimiga. I really didn't. Apparently, though, I was wrong. I kinda slipped into reader-mode in the second half and didn't go as heavy on the editing as I should have, but I'll give it another pass later today and rectify that. Good job, my dude. I seriously enjoyed this, from beginning to end, and I look forward to whatever it is you might be writing next.I was actually expecting it to end with something lewder, but the way things worked out that would've been silly for a lot of reasons. Maybe next time.
>>25770524
>spoiler
anon, it was always about thecuddlessince the beginning
I found the whole Yandere Lyra fic on my drive, (the milkshake one and all the sequel's, I think there were like 10 more.) Anyone want the link?
Also, does anyone know of any good Yanderes? Ive looked around a lot, but I can't seem to find any good ones.
>>25770757
they're very hard to find.
The only one I remember the most was when someone made some Yandere Gardevoir story (long before those threads went to shit) involving infertile eggs or something
>>25770470
Statistically, my largest chapters run to around 15k, as do my shortest stories that I consider to be stories, not vignettes. When writing chapters, most stories I target something like 6k as par, but tight and fast stories like Nor Gloom Of Night has a 2.5k unit size, while LL's numerous side stories give it 10k to 15k units that I split into halves for easier digestion and additional bumps.
Reasons for running a noticeably odd-size chapter, like those you cite, if they are good reasons, will justify whatever length you run to. That length may be longer or shorter than you expected.
>>25770757
link it
>>25770831
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xe_4-MvbdRyQhR3NCCm_uCh1uDF7Y5tlg0jEPmd7GFs/edit?usp=docslist_api
So how DO TMs and HMs work? How come Pokémon can only remember four moves? Are there any interesting theories or concepts that have been brought up in writing that carry these themes?
anykid accidentally molests a pokemon without knowing what they are doingfic
>>25772475
>So how DO TMs and HMs work?
Game literalism thanks to FRLG: You put a disc on their forehead; they magically learn the move.
A few different interpretations I've seen:
>they're instructional DVDs that merely teach trainers how to teach their 'mons
>they're some sort of high-tech autolearning device, beamed into the target's head through another machine
>How come Pokémon can only remember four moves?
A case of the author following game mechanics closely. It makes little sense. The only sensible interpretation I've seen is that it's a League-imposed limitation to keep fights fair and sane, and doesn't have to be followed in off-the-record matches, encounters with wild Pokemon, etc.
>>25768315
I've had the ability to make the Skyrim piece something decent for a while, but I can't find the reason to when there's no will to finish it and there's no readers. Seriously though, it was meant to be like two 2/3s bigger than it is, and this was a time when I could barely chug out 1000 words a day. Surely after Ears I'd be able to perfect that shit to a finer point and get it done in a timely manner, but there's so much other shit to write about in the world.
>>25770524
Oh shit I just looked at the first page. I didn't think you could even fit that many corrections in that small of a space. I'm not sure whether to feel disheartened or impressed, so probably both.
>>25772835
Don't be disheartened! I fully enjoyed the read. I just want to help you write as well as you can write is all. No one can write anything that doesn't require a whole, whole bunch of revision.
>>25772855
My 25k word chapter somehow managed to only get like, 10 revisions across the whole thing. I guess I just need to work on my more somber settings, I'm getting closer to mastering suffering.
>>25772930
>I'm getting closer to mastering suffering.
>>25772548
http://pastebin.com/NeyvwErF
This involves some leavanny made by the bully anon a few months back. He's under writers block trying to work on a piece involving lilligantmy request, but I have hope he'll snap out of it and do more soon
>>25773118
>"I am jerking off this leavanny"
stop
stop please
oh god fucking stop i can't stop laughing
Fucking hell, I'm glad I read this shit, it was hilarious.
>>25773118
>>25773977
Agreeing, that was a quality read. Not too lewd, not too hamfisted; I could see something like this actually happening to some poor family's pet.
>>25773118
>http://pastebin.com/NeyvwErF
I ran that pastebin text through Gizoogle. Be prepared to piss yourself laughing.
>>25774248
well, where's the results?
Anyone ever experience an odd, vague sense of melancholy after publishing a chapter/work? I know it's not just me, that's be impossible and self-centered.
What the hell causes it? Something being "over"?
>>25778579
It's about the journey, not the destination, innit? I imagine you would be a lot more involved and inspired while making a piece, but once it's over then it's over. All that potential and work and hard thought goes into something, and when you're finally done it's just a product. A string of words to make a story. The enjoying of doing the writing is entirely separate from the enjoyment of achievement and reading.
Source: I literally just finished Ears, and I hardly read other fanfiction at all. I can count on one hand how many lengthy pieces of fan literature I've ever seriously read, but I've spent actual weeks of time working on my own, just to continue the cycle and moving on to the next work once finished with one.
>>25778579
I always feel a sense of satisfaction when I finish a piece.
Like >>25778661, I rarely read. If I have the time, I'd rather be writing.
>>25778579
Sadness perhaps from realizing you have completed what you set out to do. It's why I like stories with multiple chapters since I only get the feeling you describe at their very end.
Guys, serious question: how do I write cute and not lewd?
>>25781249
Try changing out with real life animals. No joke. Maybe a pet store or something
>>25781249
Just write cute stuff. A fair bit of cute things and actions precede lewd ones zip think over where it all goes from cute to lewd and stop right when it turns lewd.
Reading cute stuff usually helps.like yuri
>>25781249
Imagine cute things. Write cute cuddling things. Hugging, heart clenching, gentle coute things.Have you only ever written lewd or something
>>25781792
My problem is I start with good intentions but then it just devolves into perverted stuff somewhere along the way. I'm trying to write a serious fiction now but falling back into old habits.
Anyone have cute fics I can read?
>>25782212
Innuendo isn't that bad a thing to have but then again I tend to find things cute that have probably strayed a decent bit into the shallower parts of lewd.
Keeping something cute really is just a matter of not letting things progress past things that warm your heart and not your bed. Be aware of what you're writing and ask yourself every so often how deep you think you are. Then ask someone else of you have that luxury.
>>25772475
For the 4 moves, maybe it could be explained by practice: a pokemon uses a technique so much that its understanding of the technique evolved, and it created a new move. But using the new move meas it'll use the old one less. It becomes rusty at the old move, and it might be dangerous to waste energy/ spam laser beams haphazardly, so pokemon only use 4 moves most of the time.
That's more or less how it works in the anime, now that I think of it?
>>25772475
>How come Pokémon can only remember four moves?
I always think of it as a rule of adrenaline: With all the action going on in battle, 4 moves is the max you can use at a time while retaining a clear enough head for battle (regardless of smartness). Any more can put a serious strain on the brain and can lead to some...primal results.
At the same time, I also think a Pokemon can use any move once they learn it, but that 4 move limit still applies.
special doggo bump
>>25786057
Who did this to_it?
>>25786092it_self
>>25786092
the end of Ears
>>25786161
"W-we should become friends!"
"Hm, said a little bit suddenly..."
"I'm...bad?" *tears dripping*
*thump*
"It just ain't like that!"
*yip!*
Bully bump
>mfw Game of Champions will never be finished
I have no idea what caused it, but I'm suddenly in need if anything with Colress. I've scoured the major fanfic sites, but anything that isn't AO3 has shit tagging/searching.I'd sell my soul for Kyurem getting some "revenge" on him.
>>25781249
Do something with young children. It's generally endearing to watch a young and naive being interact with others and play.
Speaking of children, new chapter that I technically uploaded before before it was April:
FFN:
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11084689/32/Fledglings
AO3:
>http://archiveofourown.org/works/3465593/chapters/14704663
>>25772966
This is the true goal of all starting writers
>>25790021
I read recently that he's working on the next chapter, but it does seem like a long shot that the whole thing will ever get finished. Maybe when he gets out of the military he'll have time to put into it.
This website format hurts my eyes
>pastebin changes font to comic sans for April
FUCK
So hey, yeah. It took a while, but I finished the fic. Really helps once I got rid of all the distractions. So yeah, here's part 1, Link to part 2 at the bottom. Hope you enjoy.
Saikou, I'll be submitting this for the archive a bit later.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M06bSGkRRzSgpPt0ztzguRdeBKSAqVwOy_OYAY1Ul1g/edit?usp=sharing
>>25794077
This is That Guy with that One Ashfic, btw.
>>25793184
I'm saved by mobile so I haven't seen it yet.
>>25794077
Don't play with my heart like that son
>>25794077
Why do you torture us like thisyou n'wah
>>25794726
>>25794077
>>25794077
>>25773118
Speaking of leavanny do you guys have any other leavanny story?
>>25796707
not as far as I know. Kinda stinks because Leavanny can go many ways from cool to cute.
>>25796707
only this piece
Yall niggas too sleepy and busy
>>25794077
well, all fools aside, how goes the process of that huge fic?
How do you all feel about the typical adventure-fic? Take down the eight gyms, elite four, all that. From lurking these threads for a while now, I haven't seen many fics like that mentioned, let alone written.
>>25806716
you haven't been lurking long enough. There were oodles a couple months back.
They just seem...average. Unless you do something to make them interesting, it'll probably come off as boring, since one could easily play the game/watch the anime for that kind of stuff.
>>25806716
They're a dime a dozen, include too many battles to maintain author or reader interest, and follow a formulaic path that leaves little room for uniqueness. I've seen a few interesting stories that are basically excerpts from a trainer's league challenge that are expanded into full stories, but I can't say I've ever seen one that was worth following through the to end.
oh jeez that S/M news is going to be death of the thread, again
Yeah, that's how it usually goes
>>25810235
>S/M news
pls
>>25774248
Gizoogle does wonders
Have you ever tried to write a poem for a fic, be it for an in-universe mnemonic, a fairy tale, a prophecy, or something else? I'm attempting the former (remembering the four kinds of tubers and roots that all Pokemon can eat when journeying underground), and discovering that it's surprisingly hard to come up with even a simple set of rhyming couplets.
>>25802358
It's sorta been on halt with my normal life just fucking me over. But I'm working on rewrites for the first part atm, with additions to make the whole "Ash leaves Kalos" a bit more in character.
>>25813382
while usually the case, poems don't always have to rhyme, if that helps.
>>25813382
Some of my pieces are poetic, although carelessly so.
>>25813382
I know how you feel. Prophecies and poems are hard. I don't think I've made any in recent years for that reason (I've got one story that should be rife with them, now that you mention it).
>>25813602
It wasn't in character in the first place? You'd think that by aging h up his character would change just a little bit
>>25813217
RIP Magianafag
Welcome to /vpwt/: a thread so slow that cge updates twice in the same edition.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6400045/chapters/14761375
>>25819570
>Welcome to /vpwt/: a thread so slow that cge updates twice in the same edition.
That's kinda fucked up
>>25793253
they know how to trigger their fanbase
>>25819570
I ordered and received my package over the course of this thread, I'm actually kinda surprised.I should get back to writing, but I've been enjoying the weeklong break.
This general's making me feel things I haven't felt in a long while.
Is spewing stupid ideas allowed here?
>>25822446
you are encouraged to, so that I can finally fill up this ideabin.
If you feel your idea is too lewd, pastebin it and I'll slap it in there too.
>>25822493
It's honestly just big; plus, it's a continuation of an idea from the old pastebin idea dump.
I'll dump it once I turn it morbidly obese, and trim it from there. Probably gonna use a pastebin.
>>25822553
if it is pretty big, yeah, a pastebin link would help.
>>25822405
That's a neat figure.
Bullyfag, here, I just wrote this piece about a bratty Lilligant getting punished.
http://pastebin.com/7eKfcCVr
>>25822877
Jesus this reminds me of the time I used to freak out over not getting cheetos with my parents as a squirt. Thank god I grew out of that
>>25822610
Here it is. I'm half asleep so I'll probably go and revise a lot of this/not do anything with it, but it's out in the wild.
>>25823200
Shit, forgot the pastebin link.
http://pastebin.com/L15N3JyZ
>>25822877
>tfw no small plant daughteru to take care and enjoy everyday
http://pastebin.com/frsZ3tsP
Bianca on the Ferris Wheel.
>>25823679
Oh, just a warning, this is very lewd.
>>25823691
You uhh...weren't kidding
Braixen bullied at the beach
http://pastebin.com/ajmDDnxQ
>>25824823
It's a miracle she didn't suffer from a heart attack with all that water she was exposed to
>>25823213
alright, slammed it in there
>>25823679
Got me rock hard/10
>>25822877
>tfw god shows no mercy
Could someone explain the appeal of bullyfics? And what defines a bullyfic?
>>25826066
Some people just like bullying others I guess. I never really got the appeal of them either.
>>25826066
>definition
Obviously, that the villain is defeats the victim without suffering any sort of retribution. Extra points if the victim tries to stop the villain and suffers punishment for the effort or is held responsible for the villain's actions.
>appeal
If you're on either side of the ampersand in "S&M", it can push your button.
>>25826247
And thus the real purpose of the new Pokemon S&M version was revealed...
>>25771023
This takes me back
Almost done with yet another chapter. I honestly haven't been this productive since I started out being a writer. My motivation is to conclude what I began following a long break.
>>25827622
another chapter of...?
>>25828078Radiantheart
>A story about a rag-tag band of Pokémon pirates called Corsolairs who engage in jolly yet illegal activities
>>25822877
Wait why didn't you post that floette bully/murder fic?
>>25828563
that was by a different guy,me
>>25826247
Interesting. Though there is a sort of misunderstanding about BDSM, you did give me a bit of insight. And there's a wierd part of me that likes something like what you asked for, but a bit more focused.
>>25828767
>like what you asked for
I haven't asked for anything.
I didn't say anything about *BD*-SM either.
I said specifically that the bullying theme obviously aligns with those two behaviors: The sadist can project upon the bully that is portrayed as being empowered through application of will upon the victim; the masochist can identify with the victim, and using it as a surrogate for self, be delighted by imagining being treated in that way, despite the portrayed character feeling conversely if applicable. (I'd expect that would add to the appeal, because the masochist can use the victim's portrayal of distress to suffer additional abuse that the masochistic reader would be, so to speak, enjoying too much.)
>>25830777
This image spurred the idea in me of a hard-boiled Hawlucha detective with a luchador past trying to earn respect from his department to prove he's not just some simple masked wrestler.
He also suplexes and flying presses the perps he's chasing so it's not going well.
>>25828497
This could be cute. What would the Corsolairs do with their booty obtained from illegal activities?
>>25819570
sounds about average to me desu
>>25830945
Not that guy, but I expect theybring it back home to repair damages
>>25828599
I will end you.>tfw I can't stop reading this
>>25830945
Why, they're just lovable rogues, anon.
I'm not sure where you want this to go.;^)
>>25810498
it's that time of year again
>>25837604has a vespiquen vs beedril fic been done yet
