>Be me
>Fat, kissless, hugless virgin
>Be 34 years old
>No job
>No GF
>Living in my parents' basement, wallowing in darkness and my own filth
>Do nothing all day but beat off to Gardevoir rule 34 and stare at my Gardevoir in Amie
>Diet consists of nothing but cupcakes, I eat them so I can feel closer to Gardevoir
>Room smells of piss and manure
>Haven't showered in months
>Mom and dad walk in and turn the lights on
>I hiss as the room is filled with light, burning my pasty skin
>They came in just in time to catch me cumming on one of my many Gardevoir figurines
>Start yelling at me
>Dad is fuming with anger and mom is crying
>Dad starts ripping my Gardevoir posters off the walls and tearing apart my Gardevoir plushies
>I screech in despair and try to stop him once he gets to the body pillow
>Throw myself at him and violently slash at his face with my overgrown nails
>He hooks me in the chin
>I fly across the room and crash against a wall
>He towers above me, anger in his eyes, and lifts his leg
>Stomps at my face
>I close my eyes and brace for impact
>Nothing
>I hesitantly open my eyes
>Gardevoir is holding dad's leg with her psychic powers
>>25603961
>Dad is staring at her with pure disbelief in his eyes and mom stops crying
>Gardevoir proceeds to snap his leg like a twig with her psychic powers
>She then rips it out violently with her psychic powers
>Dad lets out a horrifying scream and collapses holding his leg's stump, which only arouses Gardevoir
>Mom is paralyzed with fear, her tears dried up from terror
>Gardevoir calmly walks over to mom, fully erect, leaving dad to bleed out
>Blows her head off with a Moonblast and stars vigorously fucking her esophagus
>Dad is screaming in the background
>Gardevoir climaxes and roars in delight as she floods mom's corpse with her pearly white spunk
>Mom's stomach swells up and explodes
>Gardy's sperm, blood and mom's guts are splattered all over the room
>Gardevoir throws mom's limp corpse away with her psychic powers
>Turns around and looks at my dad, who is now quietly sobbing
>Dad notices Gardevoir is looking at him, and shits himself in fear
>His pants become stained with a foul mix of blood and feces
>Gardevoir casually grabs the leg she ripped off from dad with her psychic powers
>Stands above him
>Looks at me, as if asking permission
>Dad stares at me with pleading eyes, but I look the other way, a single tear rolling down my cheek
>Gardevoir shoves the severed leg up dad's rectum and ravages him with it until he expires from severe organ damage and massive internal bleeding
>She looks at me
>I'm curled up in the corner, silently masturbating
>She extends her hand
>Helps me up
>Gently pulls down my pants
>Grabs my atrophied genitalia, momentarily caressing it, and smiles at me
>I nod eagerly
>>25603965
>She rips off my dick and balls
>The pain is excruciating, but I endure it for Gardevoir
>She prods me, quivering in anticipation
>She penetrates my brand new pussy
>We make love for hours
>I pass out from the pleasure
>I wake up an undetermined amount of time later
>Gardevoir's seed, mixed with my blood, is still dripping from my pussy
>Gardevoir is gone
>My parents' corpses are still there, rotting and stained with cum, blood and shit
>I see my computer is on
>There's a picture of Gardevoir tenderly smiling as the background, and a note reading "I will be back"
>I fall to my knees and cry tears of joy
>>25603965
>penis
>she
wew
i couldnt look away that entire story is a train wreck
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
Are gardevoirfags the pinacle of humanity?
>>25603961
>>25603961
Nice story OP.
Now, seriously, go kill yourself
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
>Starts out normal
>Becomes weird
>Turns to the tier of /d/ or /trash/
E-V-E-R-Y-T-I-M-E
Nothing to see here.
Just your average gardevoir poster.
Move along now.
1/10 didnt even get a hardon
G-gardevoir thread?
I love you, /vp/.
>>25603961
I wish I had gardevoir posters
>>25604022
Fuck yeah buneary
Nice, i laughed
>>25603975
I'm crying tears of joy too. Thanks, OP.
>she penetrates my brand be pussy
kek
at that start, being a neckbeard failure at life, i imagined myself as a protagonist. in the middle of story i almost threw up. poor parents.
also, well, no gardevoir is this malevolant to do such stuff. they're all nice and cute, and do not rip trainer's genitals
>>25604682
>Gardevoir is nice because she's pretty
Stick to 2D, Anon. God help you if you try to talk to a real girl.
>>25605351
i've had a girlfriend for four of my twentynine years. the experience was AWFUL. i'll stick to 2D, i swear
>all these replies
It better be a ruse and not newfaggotry
>>25603961
I don't care about your personal life outside of 4chan.
Don't fuck with "Gardy"
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
What the fuck, Anon.
>>25603965
>>25603975
This is hilarious but I hope you get run over by a car for defiling Gardevoir with the idea it has a penis I am completely serious I hope you die.
hopefully shit back those ggvp
wew
>>25606568
I love you too, anon.
Shrek is love
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
Basically what I expect to come from gardefags
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
This is why moot left
>>25604020
Gardefags are the apex branch of homo sapiens
>Inb4 this shows up on r/4chan
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
I literally don't know what to say.
>>25603961
>>25603965
>>25603975
>>25603961
I just hate how newfags are having actual reactions to this mediocre generic garbage.
I bet OP was giggling as he typed that then OP grabbed his inhaler as he started wheezing from hysterical laughter at his very own posts then his cheap plastic desk chair finally collapsed under the weight of 259 pounds of hot pocket blubber.
>>25608178
You feeling alright there, buddy?
>>25608178
spotted the gardefag
>>25608178
>Complains about Anons reacting to obvious troll
>Gets mad
Needed more Bel Air.
>>25607488
This is a certainty unique point of view
>>25603961
>gardevoir figurines
Do they exist?
Bonus if not Mega.
>>25608443
Yes anon, they exist. As do gardevoir plushies.
>>25608450
Who cares about plushes. They're never not ugly.
>>25608481
>not wanting to cuddle a gardevoir
It is like you are not even trying Anon
>>25608492
>cuddle
Anon Gard can use her psychic powers to link her feelings with yours so both of you can experience incomprehensible bliss and kiss her.
>>25608608
See it looks so dopey.
And of course it's a fucking Mega.
>NSFW?
I don't even want to know.
>>25608624
Only the most dopey allowed
>>25608666
gardevoir is new demon overlord confirmed
/vp/ isn't worth saving
>>25608752
Is anything really worth saving on this site?
>>25603961
>Come to /vp/ to meet some fellow GardeMahniggas
>See this
O-Oh..... I need a new favorite pokemon now..
>>25609089
how new are you
>>25608923
"You better be simgle, master"
>this whole thread
R+U+12=?
>>25609109
New enough to not want to browse vp again
>>25608208
Are you feeling trigg'd on account of being called new?
>>25609217
definitely trigg'd a NU-NlG here!
>>25609217
Others boards are not any more friendlier, you can't fool anyone Reddit kid.
>>25609089
>letting some random faggot ruin your favorite mon
You stink of new
>>25609217
Go back to Facebook.
>>25609217
See you tomorrow.
>>25603965
>>25603961
:^)
>>25603961
>>25603961
