/vpwt/: "Shhh..." Edition
>post fanfics you like.
>share your own fics, ask for advice, post story updates.
>discuss writerly struggles with fellow writefriends.
Join us in IRC at [ #vpwritethread on irc.rizon.net ] to discuss your fics, hang out and chat, and be frightened by the regulars!
Previous Thread: >>24860311
Check out the catalog for a directory of fics from fellow writefags,
>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtN4D_9CSw8JJ9uO6v0oQqdtKEkS8aFAvfxqI96XfSE/edit?usp=sharing
>Can I post NSFW fics?
Absolutely! There are no rules against NSFW text links.
>How should I post my fics?
Please, for the convenience of everyone involved, link to a host like Fanfiction.net, Pastebin or Google Docs rather than dumping your fics in text posts. This not only keeps the thread tidy (and keeps you from getting an infraction for spam), but it also provides a more permanent place to store your work.
>Can I add a fic I wrote to the catalog?
Sure! Check the catalog for the submission link. In there, you can find a link to a Google Form - fill out all the necessary information and it will be submitted for review automatically. Technology is incredible!
We're also looking to collect ideas for fanfics as a resource for stumped writers. Feel free to throw an idea out there; someone may choose to use it themselves!
Ideabin: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X072SSWulcC6RJRrPA6v9XtyohRybvMBl6Fh49wHsRw
Topic of the Thread: How much noise can you tolerate when reading or writing a fic? Must there be absolute silence or can you get used to the noise around you?
>>25008818
Silence is golden, but how long does it take before it drives you mad with greed?
Anyway, here's a recap:
An anon with a lot of freetime wrote a quick snippet of teasing a no-pants Roselia. SFW
http://pastebin.com/p57LYN4p
Another anon wrote a short Delphox smut based off a certain series of pictures. NSFW
http://pastebin.com/hA1v57qx
Blackout anon greets us with a short fic of that Beauty Trainer addicted to ass grabs. Suggestive but SFW
http://pastebin.com/96tTQPMu
Onatu creates a oneshot about an Abomasnow doing one last job before retiring. Guess how that ends. SFW
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11686744/1/One-Last-Job
An anon took on an odd job, creating a smut involving all the protagonist girls. In progress, NSFW
http://pastebin.com/9P2EeXXJ
Leah is asking for suggestions on how to improve her story about her character trying to recover her memory. SFW
http://pastebin.com/xMsvSx2V
An anon is asking for critique about a story involving a Metang managing a library while dealing with supposed stereotypes. SFW
http://pastebin.com/kMfptzYy
A lowly fag from /pmdg/ shares with us Mawile's diary of exploring Arceus's Mystery Dungeon. SFW
http://pastebin.com/FtV99Vx4
SpookyMisdreavus magically appeared out of nowhere, giving us a lewd involving Gardenia's love of nature, literally. NSFW
http://pastebin.com/E3DgEZ34
Updated fics:
Unown adds more chapters to Fledlings.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11084689/26/Fledglings
BoredWriterGuys continues on with his adventure fic
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-FbrB36tsyzLRnRzKkzizieXZKVOOIVdubRMwSyZLmM/edit?usp=sharing
>>25008818
>>25008894
Thank goodness you're back, Moth.
My apologies to the highly patient authors who have been waiting for their fics to be added to the catalog. I've been slacking. As of now, everything's all caught up - fics by Alisson, Vile Slanders, Venia Silente, ThatGuyWithThatOneAshfic and newcomer Mimiga have been added to their proper spots in the catalog.
>ToTT
I can't think without pumping music into my ears, but I also can't think if my music is too energetic or has vocals to distract me. I tend to keep a separate playlist for writing/thinking music in my library.
>ToTT
It's too hard to focus on writing if there's too much chatting or dialogue I'm hearing, so TV/podcasts/etc. are out of the question
>>25008969
>261 votes for Erika
I guess your mind's made up.
>>25009004
yah, no shit. Guess I'l just throw a 20 sided dice and then pray
>ToTT
If the music fits the scene I'm not as distracted, but some artists just work better than others. It's game fucking over though when friends come to my house.
>ToTT
No sounds! Only me and my music. The drone of the outside and neighbors passing by is no problem, but the moment things get loud, everything shuts down.
Welp, fuck that. Here's my last attempt.
TL:DR : Choose five so I can write a short story about them in my fic
es.
surveymonkey.
com/r/WCSLRCN
Fuck everything else.
Are there any good fics of trainers in the wild camping and adventuring like you would in real life? Like a real description of what it would be like.
>>25009438
I recall a preview of Burgly forcing Roxie to go camping with her, but I for the life of me can't remember the pastebin link or the author. Otherwise I'm not sure if it has been done. There might be some trainer adventure fics that have elements of it, but doesn't have it as the major focus.
>ToTT
Music is just about all I can deal with, and it helps me get into the right mood, too.
Talking and other stuff just snaps me out of focus.
>>25009438
Game of Champions has some, but its by no means the focus.
>>25009438
Mimiga's PMD fic features a party of Pokemon on a rough adventure up Destiny Tower (but it contains PSMD spoilers, so don't read it if you haven't played that game and plan on doing so):
http://pastebin.com/FtV99Vx4
>>25009967
>People actually recommending others my fics
Is this the future? Have I achieved omnipotence?
>>25010221
Maybe so.Now write moreso I can recommend them more.
>>25009510
>>25009961
>>25009967
I may check them out. If not that then any fics of just what life would be like in Pokemon world.
>ToTT
Complete and utter silence. I really have to force myself to not put anything on behind my writing program.
Once I start, I'm fine. If I'm interrupted I get slightly annoyed.
>>25010258
cge's stories do a pretty good job of this. I think his first one starts off with a camping scene too.
>>25010224
You got it boss. What's this place's general consensus on chapter fics situated in Pastebin? Would I end up with kind of a directory bin as the catalog placeholder and edit it with chapter links as I went on?
>>25010699
It's mostly up to you. You could have each chapter be its own pastebin under a registered name so that people can keep coming back or just make one really long pastebin.
>>25010329
Sounds perfect
>>25010329
Actually can you link me to that?
>>25011265
>Love Lost link is missing from the catalog
Wasn't it submitted in the past?
>>25011283
Yeah but it got lost, hence the title.
>>25011265
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6573222/1/Can-t-Escape
>>25011667
Thanks. This is what I was looking for.
DAILY MORPHICFAG SHILLING, GARDEFAG/AURADOGFAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3553005/1/Morphic
Morphic:
>A bunch of drunk scientists create human/pokemon hybrids, and a bunch of pissed off christfags try and kill them.
>Also includes a series of extra shorts about one of the scientists chatting up the scyther hybrid.
MEGA BUMP
here to bump a thread
can anyone link me to romance/lewd between brendan and may
while reading/writing I listen to white noise on my earbuds, blocks out noise and increases focus
>>25015392
doing a quick search on FFN, this one seems to be of some quality.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7178349/1/Switching-the-Blame
You can also look around, but beware quality isn't guaranteed for whatever you find out there.
https://www.fanfiction.net/search.php?ready=1&keywords=brendan&categoryid=80&genreid1=0&genreid2=0&languageid=0&censorid=4&statusid=0&type=story&match=&sort=&ppage=1&characterid1=0&characterid2=0&characterid3=0&characterid4=0&words=0&formatid=0
>>25015413
thank you based anon, i love you
>>25011291
boooooo10/10 pun
>>25008894
>dat Delphox fic
Why is it that all the well-written smuts are on pastebins far away from public viewing?
>>25016718
FFN has hunting groups who report a good number of new lewds. Ao3 is poorly advertised, and other websites require registration to even view stories.
Could someone please write a foot fetish fic about Maylene? You'd think something like it would already exist at this point, but it doesn't.
Maybe it could be about any fans she has lusting after her feet and being oblivious as to why? That is, until she allows them to indulge themselves thinking it was harmless before they reveal their actual intentions.
>>25017303
You got your idea, now write the fic yourself. Yesterday you said tomorrow, so just DO IT!
>>25017507
I simply do not have the skill necessary. Besides, no one can jerk it to their own content
>>25017518
>I simply do not have the skill necessary.
That's never stopped a fanfic from being born.
>Besides, no one can jerk it to their own content
You must be new to this internet.
>>25017717
It's true. Nobody can fap to their own stuff.
>>25017717
>>25017754
Can confirm. It's impossible to fap to your own fic. It just can't be done.
Y'know, this must be the largest amount of people referring to the TotT in their posts.
>PMD fic
>Rock, Paper, Scissors is instead Rock, Fighting, Flying
>Instead of hand gestures it's body movements and stances because fuckers don't have hands sometimes
I know somewhere it's been done already, but damn if I'm not going to steal that idea immediately
>>25019773
I love little things like this. You just have to make sure not to go too overboard with it - a chance-based game like RPS having a Pokemon equivalent is reasonable enough, but for instance reading "Hold your Ponyta" in PSMD made me cringe a little. Exercise caution when drawing idiomatic parallels like that.
>>25019937
>Rock, Fighting... Flying!
>... What pose is that?
>It's Arceus, I won!
>Arceus isn't a type you mongrel
I'd have too much fun with these
>>25019983
God damn, that's adorable. Get writing, anon, I want more.
>>25017070
Mind pointing me towards those hunting groups?
>>25020505
I recall there being two: Critics United and the more active Eliminators.
Are there any fics that involve shadow Pokemon?
>>25021707
Victory Fire is a webcomic, not prose, but it does involve Shadow Pokemon (and even strictly in the Orre games' sense, not just generic evil/possessed Pokemon).
http://victoryfire.smackjeeves.com/
>>25021715
Thank you anon, reading it now... If anyone has other examples feel free to post 'em.
BoredWriterGuy here. Chapter Seven is complete.
A slower chapter this time around, a bit more light-hearted.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-FbrB36tsyzLRnRzKkzizieXZKVOOIVdubRMwSyZLmM/edit?usp=sharing
Forgive mistakes, will edit once I sleep.
As always, enjoy and critique. Or hate, either all.
>>25022156
The story is Redemption Frontier, BTW.
Geez, I'm tired.
>>25017717
>>25017754
I do, but only when I'm in the process of writing it and horny as fuck while thinking of ideas with my dick. Then I never touch it again.
What kind of criminal acts would it take to strip of your Pokemon Master title, then have your starter fuck you up to try to stop you from being evil?
>>25023729
>, then have your starter fuck you up toDepends. Literal fuck you up?
>>25023729
Any? They probably don't let criminals be masters. You'd have to do some bad shit for your pokemon to betray you though unless it had a big sense of justice.
>>25023741
>>25023817
Cripple you and leave you behind.
Also psychic lobotomy to wipe all memory of your journey together.
>>25023729
at that point, I would think a pokemon would believe that the situation would be too dangerous for the trainer, and may have to use some force to knock some sense into you
Retard here. I've had several ideas for some sort of Pokèmon fic and while I constantly think about it I doubt that I have the skills necessary in order to do it justice or make it palatable to most people.
Should I just go ahead and write stuff and see how it goes? Or should I keep being a faggot and do nothing? I've never wrote a fic before.
>>25024603
>Should I just go ahead and write stuff and see how it goes?
Do it. Come back for criticism, we tend to be mostly helpful about that.
>>25024603
The former. Get that steaming pile of shit down on a page, no matter how terrible you think it is as you're writing. THEN go back and edit, or send it to us for critique. Anything's better than nothing.
>>25023729
That's a tough one.
Do pokemon follow a human sense of morality?
How good of a relationship did the trainer have with their pokemon before this incident?
What reason would the trainer have to commit a crime, let alone one that would cost them everything when they're already basically at the top of the world?
Is it done with good intentions that are misunderstood? Or are they otherwise forced into doing it?
>>25023836
That sounds too sadistic for a pokemon
>>25024618
>>25024625
Alright anons. I'll try my best and try to write this shit and see how bad it can get. English ain't even my first language. Will probably post a page/chapter tomorrow or something.
Thread bump to page 1, appear!
>>25026800
sounds like a lot ofhoopato me desu
>>25026815I should have called for dubs to appear
>>25023836
Yeah that's true.
>>25023902
>>25024635
I was thinking of the trainer doing something world-conquest tier bad. Like something pulled off by one of the Teams, but done on his own.
I was thinking a psychic pokemon knowing what his owner could do and knowing what he was capable of decide that it's owner is danger to everything alive.
>>25026857
he'd had to do something REALLY bad for something like that to happen. Not just world conquest, but probably be a threat to the entire planet, something that would even top AZ's machine that wiped out almost everything levels of bad.
If his partner is a psychic type, I would assume they would forsee this and try to stop it asap.
Perhaps they joined the trainer in the hopes to curve such a bad future?
>>25026857
That only makes me want to see some Red Chain bullshit, but I digress since they're my favorite legendaries. Also they probably aren't a typical choice for a starter pokemon.
>>25027176
nah, I dont see a psychic type "forseeing the future and trying to prevent it" but i could see a sceptile or an empoleon or a charizard or a feraligatr BTFOing their trainer after they learn of their evil deeds
I'm assuming murder of a loved one, rape, mass killings, something insanely fucked up
am i the only anon here who enjoys romance fics between the two playable characters in game?
like brendan/may, dawn/lucas, ethan/lyra, more than fics involving actual pokemon, like mystery dungeon fics?
i dont wanna be judged, but i guess we're all anonymous here
>>25027284
Probably a decent number. People here constantly request very specific pairings between characters who I don't know at all.
I know it's very common on FFN to see those specific pairings.
>>25027284
I guess people are more interested about what they don't know about than what already exists.
We all have our tastes anon. Some go after important NPCs. Others go after their own OCs. A couple like to get intimate with their pokemon.
I, personally, can't get my rocks off until TheOnlyMoth gets off his high horse and finishes up that Florges story.
>>25027326
>than what already exists
>no cuntfirmed romance subplot in any of the games, including the brief xy shit that just ends with you being friendzoned anyways
it hurts to live sometimes
Who /paper & pen/ drafts here?
My fingers are suffering but at least I get to look at my girly-ass handwriting fill up notebooks. It's also easier on the world if the worst versions of anything I write can be hidden away forever from everyone.
>>25027879
I think you'll get along with cge if he pops around
>>25028930
>I think you'll get along with cge if he pops around>implying there's anybody who doesn't get along with the ceege.
Frankly I expected that sort of comment to be targeting Choroy, since his dedication to world-building is strikingly similar to, albeit more externalized than, mine.I considered creating a wiki-style "bible" to track everything, much like Choroy has declared as an intention (>>24926798), but I realized that if I did, I could fall into the Doctor Jones trap ("I wrote them down in my diary so that I wouldn't have to remember.") so I only write down not-yet-canon scraps and tricky things like dates. Dates are hard. And harder when I have to fix them.>implying the ceege screwed up the time table once.
>Gregorian spaghetti
>pen & paper
I never hand-write my stories. It's bad enough that I can't type as quickly as I can think. When writing by hand I get ahead of myself and mongle a word; my OCD kicks in to fix it but that's often impossible (ink), and I'm knocked out of my composition groove.
>I get to look at my girly-ass handwriting
You heart-dot your i's?
>fill up notebooks.
I do enough of that regardless of my fiction hobby.
>It's also easier on the world if the worst versions of anything I write can be hidden away forever from everyone.
After doing it a couple times and finding myself soon disappointed with the results, I decided to stop wasting my time making worst versions in the first place.
>>25029071
>When writing by hand I get ahead of myself and mongle a word; my OCD kicks in to fix it but that's often impossible (ink)
Have you accepted our lord and savior erasable pens? Just one can go like fifty pages.
>You heart-dot your i's?
Naah. Every lowercase T I make has a perfect little loop and curves into the next letter, something I got into the habit of without ever practicing cursive. It doesn't help that I start erasing words that don't look nice and remake them until they're legible and cute.
>I do enough of that regardless of my fiction hobby.
I'm a faggot and my fetish is pages full of tiny handwriting. Destroying an entire notebook with curly shitty fanfiction gives some kind of primal satisfaction.
>After doing it a couple times and finding myself soon disappointed with the results, I decided to stop wasting my time making worst versions in the first place.
My process is entirely inefficient but gives me a better sense of security when finally throwing something down for people to read. I write the whole story as I would naturally on paper, call it a rough draft, use it as a template while typing into a plain notepad .txt, and take that digital version and fucking powerwash that shit. If it was exceptional already in the written version then there's no reason to fuck with it any further.
>>25027381
I thought that was ORAS that did that thing. Sorta. Kinda.
>>25024603
>>25024737
http://pastebin.com/R31F7MyE
Alright, here's what I would consider a rough first chapter of the dumb idea I had for a Pokèmon fic once. It probably has bad grammar or something and fucks up some basic facts of Pokèmon canon. The idea is focusing more on the concept of Pokèmon battles and what would happen if they were as popular as sports like soccer or baseball.
Criticism would be appreciated since I feel as if the current state is kind of meh. First time writing stuff like this. Sorry to burden you guys.
>>25031196
>Criticism would be appreciatedo rly lets c
Cut the 850 words of filler between the preamble and the first scene. You don't need to explain the universe in a fan fic and whatever minor tweaks you've made need to be portrayed, not explained at the top.
Then, figure out what you want your first chapter to be about. You said that you wanted the story to be about Pokemon League standing in the role of an IRL national sporting league (rather than the quasi rite of passage that canon holds), so write about that. Without the 850, you have a preamble (What does poetry about loss of faith in the future have to do with pokemon combat as a national sport?), waking up, establishment of how you decided to handle the pokemon-human language barrier, and a minute of television. That's it. There are no conflicts, no stakes, no drama, no plot, no bangers and mash for breakfast.
Focus on the message your story is going to convey, then figure out how to convey it. This feels like you're mimicking another fanfic (one unworthy of being mimicked) and hoping to eventually wander into the plot you intend.
http://pastebin.com/hGU4EBMf
Okay, so I wrote like 160k words on a fic so far, in this is the first 9k or so.
Criticisms anyone? Pretty sure there's a shit-ton of grammar mistakes and cringeworthy stuff, but will highly appreciate if someone can point out specifics.
>>25032266
>Lux was no ordinary Pokémon
NOPE. Nope nope nope nope nope. "X was no ordinary Y," especially as the opening, is quite possibly the most ubiquitously used thing among retarded fanfics. I don't even know what's up with the rest of the fic, I just know that if you want anyone to take you remotely seriously, you cut that line immediately.
>>25031196
Whatever you decide to do with it, don't regurgitate the canon's idiotic memery. Humans harnessing the abilities of superpowered creatures is not a 'beautiful dream-like bond', it's basic pragmatism. Capturing monsters to serve you is not 'friendship', no matter what nonsense dopey NPCs tell you in the games.
The games spout bullshit because the devs don't want kids to question whether they should be playing them in the first place, not because said bullshit somehow makes sense.
>>25032266
>Torry the Torterra, James’s starter.
>Star the Staraptor.
>Ayra the Gardevoir.
>Hardy the Aggron.
>Blake the Flygon.
>Glace the Glaceon.
>And lastly, Flare the Typhlosion.
Nicknames aren't quite James' strong suit, are they?
>>25032266
To be honest, it was like taking a punch to the nuts. Literally.
>>25033060
A lighthearted/idealistic story isn't necessarily a bad thing. Pokemon are fictional, so the details about what they are and how they work can be twisted into whatever an author wants. Maybe they're super-powered, vicious animals or maybe they're solar powered, pacifist aliens, you can justify just about any interpretation easily enough.
>>25033092
>Literally
I hope you actually punched yourself in the nuts, otherwise fuck you.
>>25033187
>>25031196's phrasing reads too much like the games' though, which implies that not enough thought was put into it. Lightness of tone is not an excuse for intellectual laziness.
>>25030069
>>25030069
>>25030069
>after delta episode, last dialogue with may
>"you're one of the best friends I've ever had!"
>"friends"
>tfw friendzoned again
A bit late to the thread but...
>TotT
When reading a fic, or anything else really, I need some sort of ambience sound. Too much silence and my mind goes into conspiranoia mode. Even if it is the cat purring, it helps. For writing, anything Dire Dire Docks style goes well, at least for me.
>>25008949
Thanks for the heads up!
>>25010221
>Is this the future?
No, *this* is the future.
More to the business, congratulations on getting rec'd. That's all we true an heros strive for.
>>25017518
>Besides, no one can jerk it to their own content
SHOTS FIREDWill be waiting for reports back in the IRC
>>25029071
>since his dedication to world-building is strikingly similar to, albeit more externalized than, mine
The difference, ma boy, is that I'm sick, potentially mad and moderately charming.I suffer from heavy revisionism, which is one thing working with a naturally versioned system helps deal with.
In any event it's not a path I can recommend for anyone. Bible doc? something like a manual of style? A sort of screenplay? Yeah, that works. A development wiki, or anything like that, one needs to have too many aligning goals to justify it.
>>25027879
>Who /paper & pen/ drafts here?
Not me. I /paper & pen/ charts and tables, but I'll buy three Windows 10 licenses and gift two to my parent / dream chick before I draft on paper. Too slow, too quirky, too much redundant effort. Not enough aligned goals, I guess.
>It's also easier on the world if the worst versions of anything I write can be hidden away forever from everyone.
Can't say I agree due to personal experience, but what works, works. Just remember to not hide the worst versions from *yourself*, or you'll have trouble identifying bad practices and patterns you might be unknowingly (re?)slipping into.
>friendzoned
Man, the only aspect of the X/Y lolrivals worth saving is playing the boy and repeatedly friendzoning the girl. It's like giving an object lesson, like a true champ.
>>25032266
>protag is a super-vigilante and such a good champion that others stopped trying
>generic as hell nicknames except on of course what else, so this is looking like _that_ kind of story
>pokémon are sapient, this somehow doesn't change the basic setup at all
>protag can understand pokémon
>the ruler of antimatter can give humans that ability for some reason
>protag being able to understand pokémon will most likely have zero impact on worldbuilding
>videogame moron villainy copied 1:1
>move names as excuse to not describe what's happening
>throw in translation tech too because why not
>'but pokémon can't be trainers' the good slave said
>“Yeah, he can manipulate most electromagnetic effects and charged particles within the sphere, which means he can do basically anything within it.”
Turning electrokinesis into reality warping was retarded enough when Darker Than Black did it.
>Everyone else sweatdropped.
It's a visual shorthand.
This is style over substance (with not even particularly impressive style thanks to low level of detail) mixed with cliches and typical warning signs of crap pokémon fanfic.
>>25034866
>generic as hell nicknames except on of course what else
I'm fairly certain the Gardevoir is named after an elf woman in Eragon who, iirc, Eragon falls madly in love with (and is such, as her name implies, nearly Aryan-tier perfect in appearance).
>>25034897
No, they're actually generic nicknames.
>>25034866
Knew it. That was the first 10k words or so I ever wrote on a fic.
Oh well, time for a massive oberhaul I guess.
>>25035051
Don't get discouraged, anon. The reason these mistakes are so cliche is that a ton of people make them. You can break the mold if you apply yourself and focus on righting what you wrote wrong. All this means is that you've got your work cut out for you.
>>25032266
I'm skeptical of the fact that the protagonist team starts out at the very top. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but in a longer story it will severely limit your ability to create dramatic tension without seriously pushing your audience's suspension of disbelief with increasingly absurd scenarios.
Another possible issue is the cast size. Typically, you need to introduce cast slowly, giving them character and distinctness so that the reader can recognize them. As is, we get a big list of names from the very beginning.
>>25035101
Got it. Cringe aside, any grammatical errors? Currently editing to remove some of the major points by >>25034866
Why do people like having Pokemon talk? Personally I hate it when animals talk in books and stuff (not in a human speak way but to eachother). I guess that's just me.
>>25035454
A lot of people interpret pokémon as more than mere beasts. In theory, having intelligent nonhumans in a story could lead somewhere interesting.
(In practice, it almost never amounts to anything.)
>>25035454
>Why do people like having Pokemon talk?
It's canon that Pokemon are sapient in both the animation and the games, so it isn't cheating the premise so much as protesting and avoiding the alternatives. Let's consider them.
1) Give trainers the Magic Translators. A few fics do this, and it begs that the device be lost or broken at some point to make a momentary conflict. Yawn.
2) Lassie. "What is it, Pikachu? Timmy is stuck in a well? Typical humans are savvy enough to guess what a barking dog is trying to communicate on the first try? Let's go help!" Woof.
3) "Whim whimsi whimsicott si-cott, cott!" (At which point the author realizes he must translate it anyway, or it's less meaningful than portraying the Lassie option.)
4) Degrade all pokemon to real-life animal mentality. This restricts your narrative focus to human characters because pokemon are only good for releasing, ordering to kill each other (assuming we still let them understand spoken commands), and recalling before they actually do. And since the average human is a poor lion tamer, you've lost all access to slice of life plots. Basically, you're down to one option: If IRL animals could spit fire and sneeze lightning bolts and cause earthquakes and tsunamis and were everywhere doing this all the time, how would humans survive? (Spoiler: They wouldn't.)
5) Give up and write for pokemorphs.
6) Give up and write lemons so nobody will care about anything you've done except that you've mentioned genitals.My next two stories feature mutes in prominent roles. Neither focus on the language barrier, but it's more apparent with fewer talkers in the cast.
>>25035477
>In theory, having intelligent nonhumans in a story could lead somewhere interesting. (In practice, it almost never amounts to anything.)
The problem lies in the audience; your readers are humans and are not versed in, as one example, the Dolphinese language and—most importantly—culture.
How do I write a good SMD fic? Is "copying the plot but giving the characters a little more complexity, especially the blank slate of a protagonist" frowned upon? I get the feeling it is, but I'm not sure.
>>25035454
>Why do people like having Pokemon talk?
Because We Digimon Now since Gen2 (metal evolutions). We are just in denial.
Somewhat more seriously, >>25035477 has the gist of it. Since most writers are human, there is the notational shortcut (and more than a fair bit of anthropocentric fantastic racism) that a race is "smart" or "sapient" if they speak... exactly in the way humans do.
>>25035994
>Options
>Let's consider them.
>2) Lassie.
I'm personally much fond of 2-a Section 7-g: Trainers can moderately understand their own Pokémon, over time, and viceversa; but they can only understand fragments of what other Pokémon communicate (Pokémon don't seem to have _that_ limitation in canon, for whatever reason).
>>25033092
>Literally
>CAPCTHA
>Like 8 digits
Fug.
>>25009307
have the final results been determined yet?
>>25036297
Yes, care to know?
>>25035994
>And since the average human is a poor lion tamer, you've lost all access to slice of life plots.
Not really. I don't see how you can't have pokemon be how they are always shown and still have a slice of life plot. That's like saying you can't have a dog in a story unless you're going to use it to fight. That's silly.
>>25031851
>>25033187
>>25033328
>>25033060
Thanks for the criticism, guys. This is like the first time I've wrote a fic so I'm aware that it feels like shit, but at least now I know what I should start on fixing. Will probably post an updated version later with more stuff going on and see if I'm going in the right direction, so get ready to see more dumb shit soon.
>>25037213
No problem, although that...thing looks like it needs serious revision. I don't know much about writing fics in particular, but I've done enough reading of random material to spot issues in books.
Speaking of which, I asked a question that never got answered a while ago. When writing a fic about, say, a game, is closely following the game's plot with minor deviations for character development considered poor form? Or, to put it another way, would writing a fic from the perspective of a game's protagonist progressing through the plot be a bad idea?
>>25037332
>When writing a fic about, say, a game, is closely following the game's plot with minor deviations for character development considered poor form? Or, to put it another way, would writing a fic from the perspective of a game's protagonist progressing through the plot be a bad idea?
It's a bad idea because that's what every newbie ever does (or tries to before giving up after the second chapter). Those stories are basically white noise to most people who read pokémon fanfiction.
If you're doing a 'standard trainer fic', have it deviate from the source plot as soon as possible (before the audience gets bored and discards your story as Yet Another Generic Trainer Fic). If you're not different from the crappy norm, what's the point?
>>25037332
Yeah, I kinda see that I have to change some stuff and cut out some unnecessary crap. I just wasn't sure if the readers would understand the period in which the story took place in, but hopefully I'll manage to leave only the important stuff in the next version.
Also about your question I don't think that fics like that are bad by nature, since I think they can be well done if the characters are extremely well done and the plot's minor deviations still manage to spice up the entire plot. It still sounds pretty hard to do and like >>25037430
said, most people write that stuff anyways.
>>25037430
Well, yeah, generic "trainer's journey" fics end poorly, I can see that. What about a Mystery Dungeon one? Much less formulaic, but with a more definite plot already presented.
>>25036202
I said literally because bad literature punched me in the nuts.
>>25036139
Depends. I'd avoid going for a full sort of "novelization" retelling the entire game, but fleshing out an area of the plot that you feel was skipped over too quickly or otherwise done an injustice (the timeskip in the postgame that I won't specify for spoiler reasons, for instance), then I think that's a fine thing to write. Mimiga's recent fic about the protagonists + Mawile hiking up Destiny Tower is a decent example of that. As well, If I Were Just a Little Braver by SadIdiot kinda started out as a novelization, but diverged much more into its own thing as time went on. If you want to retell the game's whole plot in such a way, definitely give Braver a read to see how he did it.
>>25037332
>>25037479
Should have also replied to these in >>25037869
. Like I said, it -can- be done right, but it is tricky due to the stigma placed on the overall premise. Still, I think Braver is one of the best PMD fics out there - and whether that's because or in spite of its loose retelling of the plot of Explorers, it stands out as an exception to the rule if nothing else.
>>25037889
Thanks! I'll be sure to give it a read. I was mostly planning on going over SMD specifically, with the Protagonist actually having a bit of common sense (that is promptly erased because the partner has negative common sense, seriously). It's probably going to absolutely suck, but I can give it a shot.
Now for the real question...dare I lose all my progress and restart so I can get everything perfectly?Nah, fuck that. I'm gonna beat the postgame and THEN restart.
Considering writing a Pokemon fanfic. I know what I want to put into it but what do people like? Do people like moves named or descriptions? I would prefer to just give descriptions of what the pokemon is doing but I don't know if people want the names of the move also.
Are there any fics where pokemon hunt others for food?
>>25038230
>I know what I want to put into it but what do people like?
From a very simple market analysis: smut.
More helpfully: I like moves described, with a degree of tolerance for just name-dropping them is they are being used in a repeat sequence (Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!). That assuming that in those cases how the move is used or how it lands (or misses) is not relevant.
Of course, the name of the move is probably at least gonna be dropped at least once, when the Trainer tells the Pokémon to use the move.
>>25038230
>I know what I want to put into it but what do people like?
Don't worry about what people like because people don't know what they will like in your story, only what they've liked before in other people's stories. Write your story, take feedback, and then adjust your course.
>Do people like moves named or descriptions?
Find the most efficient and effective balance for the scene that you are writing. Sometimes dropping the move name saves a lot of time and keeps the tempo high in a battle scene or makes clear what your pokemon is doing when writing it finding a tricky way to do something crafty with its power. But if it's something simple, like a fire type using fire to cook or burn something, trying to force a move name on it is a waste of time and makes the narration awkward.
ded thread
>>25039960
Thread busy write
Takes a while
Huh, it seems the thread finally went under. Well, in any case, like I promised, the two stories are
http://pastebin.com/mCeLLput
http://pastebin.com/W7CwV8vS
Absol will take a bit longer.
>>25041359
Of course the thread 404'd, I guess we'll relocate here. Take all of the time you need!
>>25041359
>>25041368
Huh? But the thread is fine. What am I missing?
>>25041381
Different thread where I posted some of my stories anon's requested.
Alright, wow. This took longer than I thought, and I dozed off a few times, but I hope you enjoy it, Anon.
http://pastebin.com/M6GiYL4k
I get the feeling I made a few mistakes, but it's pretty late here. I need sleep. Anyway, to whomever decides to read, I hope you enjoy.
>>25042047
LeeewdI always wonder how it would be if someone tackled the inevitable boners that would happen in a fluff. That aspect doesn't just go away, it's just kind of ignored for the most part. Sounds kind of tricky to address that issue without just smashing your face into smut territory.
>>25042071
I can't tell if that means you like it or not.It's not impossible, per se, but I highly doubt I could do it as tired as I am. Maybe I should give it a shot some time, but not now
>>25042078
It's quite short, but I found it to be pretty decent for the length. Technically it'd be better to spread out a bit more diversity in your diction, but it's admittedly pretty late most places. Also she totally murdered a rattata.
>>25042098
Yes. She did. And thanks. I think that's my biggest problem. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm running on chocolate pudding. I felt I should at least push through to finish it. And I do understand that bit. I like to think I'm a bit better, but what do I know, I should be sleeping. Which is what I'll do after this. Thanks for the...critique...criticism? I don't know the word. But thanks, Anon. I hope to do more and better in the future.
>>25041359
>25041359
Thank you based rosenon
>>25042047
That's really cute, I love it!
>>25036721
post it
Any tips for someone who wants to write an ongoing Pokemon fic?
>>25042871
starting a new fic or picking up from where you left off after X time of not working on it
>>25042047
Since I was one of the anons to request this, I might as well give some feedback.
First off, the errors I noticed on my second reading of it:
>In paragraph 1, Absol has a rat in her mouth. However, in paragraph 2, that rat is now a fish. Furthermore, it turns back into a rat in paragraph 8.
>In paragraph 5, "t" should be "it" in "No bother, he'd brush t out later." Also, "know" should be "now" in "As for know, he..."
>In paragraph 6, "Mercy" is capitalized when it shouldn't be. There should be a space before the "She" in "She continued to lay...". In the same sentence, "stands" should be "stance". There should also be a period at the end of said sentence.
>In paragraph 8, the ending thought "'She's at least deserved that'" is both a little awkward and should end in a period. "deserved" should probably be replaced with something like "earned".
Given the fact that you wrote this at 3 in the morning and on such short notice, it was pretty okay.It probably would have been a reasonable decision to write it after a good night's rest, but I admire your dedication.
>>25042942
Well, maybe Mercy was her name.
Nah, I was just tired as fuck there.
Sorry about messing up like that.
But hey, if you gave it a second read through willingly, I must be doing something right. Thanks for the critique.
>>25042942
Also, now I'm going to beat myself up for the rest of the day because I for the life of me couldn't come up with earned.
Note to all writefags out there: If you are tired, fucking sleep. Your audience will wait, and your body will thank you.
>>25043000
>If you are tired, fucking sleep.
Trips confirms: Sleep for the win.
>Your audience will wait
It isn't so much waiting as they (rightfully) go do other things but, perhaps, will return when you get off of your ass and deliver. I pretty much forgot about myself having been (apparently) inactive for nearly two years, now.Where does the time go?Oh yeah, slept through a bunch of it. Like, nearly 20%. wtf
Alright
considering the factors that real-life livestock have that has allowed them to be good food sources, what pokemon do you think would be raised in the Pokemon world for food?
Tauros and Miltank are obvious choices, not just because of their IRL analogues but also because they only have one stage, no special care needed to evolve them for maximum meat yield, just fatten them up. Other single stage Pokemon could be Farfetch'd, stantler and Delibird.
I'm trying to think of what poultry would Pokemon likely use, Farfetch'd aside. It's likely pidgey or pidove due to their relative docile natures compared to the other regional birds.
Any ideas for any of these?
>>25043114
Tropius goes both ways for meat and fruit
Fried Fletching wings is also an option, but one would have to take into consideration their...relentless reputation.
It would probably vary depending on region birds.
Dodoo is an option as well I guess
10 Evolve doduo to dodrio.
20 Harvest one head.
30 Goto 10.
>>25022156
Keep up the good work, bro! I love this story!
>>25034866
>pokemon are sapient, this somehow doesn't change the basic setup at all
Isn't this usually the case in canon? Is addressing sapience in Pokemon something worth doing, even if it isn't related to the story's overall plot/subject matter? I'm struggling to reconcile this with my own stories.
>>25043171
>Isn't this usually the case in canon?
The trick is that canon pokemon are sapient but are obedient to their role as their trainer's champions when owned and as just another link in the food chain when not. It's a conditional statement that flips like a switch for the convenience of the premise. If you're willing to adhere to that policy, then sapience does not need to be addressed any more than canon works do.
Sapience becomes an issue the second you step out of those bounds in a serious context.
If you let them act with sapience beyond the trained-pokemon relationship, why aren't all (released) pokemon trying to create their own society instead of reverting to a life of scrounging for berries and battling to survive? Doesn't "human rights" become an issue?
If you remove sapience, then it quickly becomes difficult to explain how youngsters can keep their haxoruses in-line other than recalling them into their balls just before somebody is viscerated.For details on my opinion of how to handle these issues, see every damned pokefic I've written.
>>25043171
I think so too, with the manga, the anime, and games (to an extent) indicating that.
IMO the different world would be if Pokemon aren't sapient, but who knows.
>>25037988
>the real question
I've done that before. You could always just watch a playthrough on youtube.
>>25043171
>>25043217
>Isn't this usually the case in canon?
The games present them as undeniably below humans for the most part. Exceptions are never relevant to the workings of the world, they're only ever throwaway flavor text.
>Is addressing sapience in Pokemon something worth doing, even if it isn't related to the story's overall plot/subject matter?
The canon runs on laziness, carelessness and gameplay convenience. Sure, you can just ignore the implications and pretend the canon makes sense, but not every reader will be equally complacent.
A lot of people won't care when your pokémon display human-like intelligence yet still act like convenient videogame elements. (A lot of people also don't care if you write a bland copy of the game/anime.)
>>25043215
For all the good you did, you still got some serious holes to patch up.
>>25043608
Patching things up? That sounds like work. Yuck. I think I'll just play around until I get bored, or distracted by something else. :D
>>25043146
wouldn't that hurt though?
>>25043784
They're a big bird
>>25043864
For you.
>>25042047
Good short.
by the way what is absol anyway?
Is it a camera of some sort since it look like a canine mix with a feline equip with bear paws.
>>25043998
Thanks, anon. I'm in a writing kind of mood. I'm up for suggestions.
Also, my friends call it an angstpuma.
>>25044098
Male Servine/Female Braixen cuddles. Maybe lewds, but only if you'd like. Player/Partner in SMD, if that helps.
>>25044098
Did you finish that roselia story?
>>25044098
Florges could use a good story she's not has popular has the other girl like pokemon for some reason.
>>25044182
People don't appreciate the bouquet look these days.;_;
>>25044114
Hmm...
First or second person?
Also, any names or just pokemon names?
>>25044298
...Did you mean third, or just second? Regardless, first from the Servine's perspective would be nice. Also, I'd kinda prefer nameless, just because everyone (who went with that particular pair) can relate to them that way. We can fill in our own names.Or if you're going to do names, then go with Jacob the Servine and Miranda the Braixen. Long, boring story as to why I chose them.
>>25044328
Alright. I'll work on it. Might take a bit.
>>25044182
I'll write it down and see what i can do.
>>25044507
You are wonderful, thank you kindly.If it ends up being lewd, so does my dick.
Wow, that came out weirder than I intended it to.
>>25044536
I'll need a bit longer for that, but alright.
>>25044602
Hey, I'm in no hurry. Thanks for writing!
>>25043000
>Sleep
>Implying I don't write until 5 AM for my little faggots
This is my life, engrossed with my own storylines
>>25044800
Sleep is for the weak. I will sleep when I'm dead. Also, I thought I was the only one who wrote till sunrise
>>25045854
Nah, I've adjusted well to being a nocturnal faggot since High School. The middle of the night is the best time to accomplish anything.
>>25045926
>need to get up before sunrise on a regular basis
>still end up staying awake until 2 or 3 in the morning
>mfw
>ToTT
I usually prefer silence to noise when reading fics; it makes it easier to focus on what's happening in the fic and find errors if I'm trying to proofread it.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11451726/1/Parallax
Found a decent "portal" style fanfic. Jump from Earth to Pokemon realm after the protagonist's friend had a bad run in with the FBI and what not.
I am proud to say I have had some major impact in terms of reviewing this fic.
Thus far it is still early in development, but edging along at a steady pace.
On another note, do any of you lads have any tips for how to properly critique fanfiction?
I wish to better help writers whose fics I see potential in.
Also, mind if I post for a "Have you seen this fic?" kind of thing?
I have lost track of a couple fanfics for roughly around five years now, and would like some assistance in locating them.
>>25047275
Go ahead, and I can take a break from TRYING TO START THIS DAMN THING RIGHT to tell you some tips for critique.
1. Reread it several times. You end up seeing more each time, so you get a few more things each time.
2. Specifics. Point out specific things instead of being vague. "Your dialogue is awkward" is not good, but saying something like "This specific word was awkward" is a lot better critique.
3. Civility. You need to approach with an air of "This is fair, but you could do better". You can be civil even to Tara Gilesbie. Being uncivil just causes people to get defensive.
And if nothing else, you look good even if they don't listen.
4. Be direct. Don't beat around the bush. Nobody likes this. If you see a problem, you can be tactful but direct.
5. Speak in their "language". What is obvious to you may not be obvious to others, so look at comments this author has made and learn how to speak to them. Tropenese is fine, and I speak it, but not everyone does. So be mindful of these things.
There, that should help.
>>25047275
I usually try to break up my reviews into chunks: positive section, negative section, conclude/more positive, and a note of thanks.
For the positive section, I try to acknowledge things the author is handling well: pacing, descriptiveness, a standout character, etc.
For the negative, I point out any major problems and some more subtle ones without being nit-picky.Sometimes using questions is an effective way to get the author to give something a bit more thought. Ex. Why did the antagonist kick that puppy? Is there a better way to make him a more believable bad guy?
I usually try to wrap up by saying that I enjoyed reading the story and why it stands out to me.
I end with a quick "thank you" to let them know that I appreciate their efforts, even if I ended up being a little harsh.
I don't really review any very low quality/effort stories, so I tend to get pretty positive responses to my reviews.:
"Thanks also for the praise. It gives me a good bit of solace having some outside feedback telling me what I've been doing right. A lot of writers don't like to admit it, but the "here's what's good" department for a lot of them is just about as significant as the "here's what can improve" for what we take away. Knowing what I did well is better than not knowing what I did well. So, thanks again. You're awesome."
Does length really factor as much as I think it does when finishing a part to upload? I already have enough problems as it is presenting anything less than 10k words, but the most I'm probably going to get out of this chapter is 6k and it's difficult to find a good place to add anything on.
>>25038468
>>25038468
>>25038468
Bumping my request
>>25047652
6000 is a perfectly reasonable word count for a single chapter.
>>25047672
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10471043/1/Sacrifice-and-Subjugation
Here's a darker/edgier fic where pokemon eat eachother. There's a couple hunting scenes towards the beginning. Nothing too detailed if I recall.
I don't actually follow it, but I think the premise was that pokemon pass on their experience/level so that over time wild pokemon have become absurdly powerful and dangerous and being a trainer is serious business.
>>25043130
>>25043146
Doduo's actually a pretty good choice. Decent size even unevolved, and good transport. Plus, they lay eggs. Which is a moot point since all Pokemon apparently do, but they might be like birds and lay them regularly whether fertilized or not.
>>25047652
Only in that it will "feel short" if you've been doing 10k as a standard previously.
I think 6k to 8k is a good "single serving".Especially when the first consumer is yourself needing to proof-read these crazy things.
How badly frowned upon are traditional "Trainer's journey" fics? I've got an entire homebrew region for a game I'm running (that appears to have been mostly abandoned) and it seems a shame to waste it, the NPCs I created, etc.
>>25049508
I don't think they're frowened upon, but as stated in the thread, usually turn generic and join the pile of other trainer journey fics, unless you have something that makes them stick out from the rest.
>>25049590
That's a fair point. I would guess "family branch of ancient Unovan royalty with inborn ability to speak to Pokemon" and "homebrew region" won't do it, right? Oh well, time to start thinking of interesting plots.
>>25049508
I've been considering turning that PTU setting I keep talking about into a fic, too. I dunno, I really like the detailed lore I've thought of.
>>25049708
That part is fun, yeah. I've been doing a lot of weird things with it, including almost 100% reworking Parasect to be massive "termite mounds" with no sentience of their own, just made up of the countless Paras that swarm over them and make a hive mind. There are actually some Rock-type ones that are still weak to Fire, but only because the Paras are still vulnerable. I dunno, I just like coming up with weird things. The regional professor is even studying weird Pokemon like that.
>>25049742
>>25049708
Hedcanons and lore are always fun times, methinks.
Are there any essentials to writing a crossover that differs from usual fanfiction rules?
>>25047849
Thanks I'll check it out. I like that premise.
>>25049742
>>25049767
I usually prefer stuff like that. I don't think the Pokemon world is thought out well enough to not do it.
I Posted this on the PMD general and then forgot completely to check back on that thread
>Next PMD
>Set before all other PMD game chronologically
>Main theme at first is exploration of old ruins
>Ruins of clearly human origin, from overgrown office buildings to abandoned factories
>Some automated systems are still up, including security systems
>Recovering ancient artifacts to figure out what they do
>Dumb kid somehow manages to capture itself in a pokeball
>Cyberspace as the hell/everything is fucked up dungeons
>Even dumber explorer unleashes a grey goo, becomes the game's required unnatural disaster
I lost the pastebin to the volume 2 of the mating guide and fgts a shit. Anyone has it?
>>25051559
I's probably lost, but I have all the entries saved. Put it onto a pastebin, so here you go.
http://pastebin.com/cz7PX8hL
>>25050832
Yeah, rule #1 is don't write about fucking yokai watch. That's just a waste of energy for anyone involved, be it writing, reading or advising on.
>>25049767
You doing anything right now roseanon?
>>25052225
My lappy shat out, so I have to start another story from scratch. Did you have a request? I can give it a look-see if you want.
>>25052244
Weren't you doing Servine/Braixen (or Snivy/Fennekin) cuddleporn?
>>25052244
careful now, you don't want to take too much on your platter now
>>25052107
is there a problem with writing about it?
>>25052262
Yeah. Servine/Braixen PSMD probable lewds/cuddles.
But it was all on my lappy which has shat the bed something fierce. I remember what I wrote, so it won't take too long to get to where I was, but I do have to start over.
>>25052270
I think the problem comes from the Pokemon Killer shitposting. It's left a bit of a bad taste in a lot of /vp/s mouth. Like how Goodraposter ruined Goodra for a while.
And alright, if you say so.
>>25052244
I'ma need some F medicham x M trainer smut based on the info in this smutdex:http://pastebin.com/cz7PX8hL
>>25052286
I...had no idea that was a thing. Interesting. Lemme see if people like the story I'm currently working on, and if they do, I'll think about taking a stab at it.
>>25052244
Why not could we get a florges story? I don't think I've read one about her yet.
>>25052542
That's on the list, but my lappy shitting set me back a bit.
Hello it is I, faggot. I am here with some shit which involves protecting the special doggo's smile and also far too many instances which are just synonyms of the word food. It is short and tiny and I also need to know if I should fire my proofreader friend or not.
http://pastebin.com/30BfS1zk
Also, to the Anon that suggested the Servine Braixen fic, I'm going with the names, as this is gonna be a bit longer than my Absol fic, and the partner in question is the person who would use these a lot. So I'm not exactly sure how I would avoid the names without it getting a bit awkward.
But I am working on it and it's going well. Sorry for taking so long, Uni's been hectic.
>>25053751
You could always just have them call each other by their species names, like the Destiny Tower fic we had a little while ago, but this works too.
>>25053751
Cute that shit you bitch
Cute it good
>>25053770
I think that only really works from a perspective separate from the partners. I still would have them call each other by their names in a personal setting. I'd go find the quote that says that but I'm watching silly horror movies with friends.
>>25053770
I tried that to test out how it'd work, and it seemed awkward. I don't know if it's just my ineptitude, but I can't find a way to do that in a way I'm happy with.
Problem is that unlike my previous fics, I'm having to do things with a character with a defined personality, and she wouldn't be the kind to call her partner by their species.
The anon who requested fortunately gave me names if I chose that route. And It seems it's a the best idea to take said route personally.
>>25053787
That's a fair point. Sorry, just making suggestions!
>>25053781
He requested it get lewd if I could manage.
I haven't written the lewd yet, but I'm going to cross the streams. I will lewd it and cute it.
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?Probably
>>25053801
Don't be. It's actually a good point. I just can't do it in a way I feel satisfied in the parameters I was given.
>>25053813
>I will lewd it and cute it.
This is the best scenario. Godspeed.
>>25053813
That's the only way to do it, man. That's the only way I tried to do it, anyway. Works wonders with infatuation.
Tonight, I managed to do some work on my next pokefics. Actual writing, not just proof-reading and correcting.
>Satan digs his snowshoes out of the closet.
Got a little progress on the one that's way overdue, and maybe got a better start figured out for another one that I'd given a shit first chapter and a good second chapter. Hopefully it won't be another week/month/year before I get more done.
</blog>
>>25043151
Thanks anon. Good to hear feedback once in a while.
Next chapter should be up soon.
>>25047510
Seems to be fair advice. I appreciate it Rose.
Would it be out of order for the thread if I posted the latest review I did for the fic? (For critique purposes of course. The author himself said that the review has help played a large role for how he is going to conduct the story. It was originally meant to be a comedy sort of thing, though now he is aiming for something more "serious" oriented in its approach.
If not the thread, I can PM a copy of it to you if you have a FF.Net account.
>>25047523
So just wing it, then read over the review until all is said and done?
Personally it takes a mental effort for me to review a story, as if there is some mental exhaustion every time I try and focus. Like my brain is held in some uncomfortable vice grip. It is silly I know, but for me I just feel... Drained to say the least. It is difficult to point out specifics for me sometimes in a way where I find myself at a loss at how to go about it.
>>25047510
As for the lost fics, I will be posting a description of them in the next couple post from a ready made document.
>>25054902
1. A Torchic Transformation story. The plot revolves around a depressed high school student who committed suicide with a handgun out of bitterness and despair in a Cafeteria in front of multiple students. The student in question ends up being reborn a Torchic by some quirk of chance for reasons currently unknown. Protagonist hatches from an egg that was supposed to be a gift to him by another "friend" who was wanting to cheer him up, even one that might have been antagonstic to the protagonist at one point. Said friend is bitter after friend's suicide.
Suicide is covered up by the school to preserve its reputation. Originally found on Fanfiction.net. Ciera. 2008-2009 when first discovered.
Estimated length at last read was roughly around 20,000 to 50,000 words. Might have been longer.
2. A Chikorita Transformation story. Protagonist is killed by a car after rescuing another individual. Mew, taking pity on this individual, decides for him to be reborn as a Chikorita. This ends up takng out the soul meant for an egg however. (Preumably from what can be inferred from memory, it might have been a gift to him at one point.) Protagonist ends up becoming his friend's starter Pokemon. (Female friend.) Side effect of rebirth is a new phobia of cars, or more specifically being a passenger of one when looking out a window with the vehicle in motion.
Distinct scenes include the clickity clits of the protagonist's "hoof nails" on a concrete sidewalk, taking four strides for his new master/friend/trainer's one. Discovers he is increasingly vulnerable to the cold elements.
Ciera. 2008-2010 estimated to be have been first discovered. Estimated story length: 20,000 to 40,000 last checked.
>>25054909
3. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Fanfic discovered around 2008/2009 on the now defunct Bulbagarden Library. (Last Check on site indicates it was undergoing revision with its host site, ciera. 2012. Presumed dead.) Story was based off of Pokemon Blue & Red Rescue Team. Main Character is a human turned Pikachu (Alvin, Colab as names?) who has amnesia. Other characters was most certainly a Chikorita with a rather fiesty attitude, and either a Squirtle or Mudkip. Somewhat of a cowardly/reluctant nature, but good hearted and willing. Protagonist male. Chikorita female. Squirtle/Mudkip male. (Note: Bolded underline indicates stronger memory likelihood/certainty of being the correct one, but not for absolutely sure if true.) Story was last seen as being completed, with a sequel in the works. Friends were evolved in that story.
Estimated length at the time last read: Medium-Long, presumed roughly between 60,000 to over around 100,000 words. Length is MUCH shorter than stories like PMD: The Silver Resistance and PMD: Broken Ideals, but still a rather considerable read.
Last known status listed as complete, with a sequel in the works with evolved compatriots.
>>25054911
4. Pokemon: Real World dimension jump to the fictional world inhabited by Pokemon. High School girl bored with life ends up being co-opted by mysterious individuals who may or may not have abducted her due to the protagonist having some special ability that these people (Science types.) do not. Said scientists are from another dimension. Protagonist features some form of healing ability that is unnatural to this world. For this reason, she was brought to it so that she may help mend the conflict currently taking place on that world. Girl ends up on a Journey to heal the region plauged by conflict of the war variety between two factions (Teams if memory served correctly, albeit original ones.) Region and factions appear to be original creations. Partnered with a shiny female Rattata. (Might have been given a name.) Rattata able to converse in English with protagonist. (Might have been same with the others.) World somewhat realistic, featuring firearms.
Notable events: Confrontation with scientists who the girl at first considers nuts when they tell her Pokemon are real. Ends up beleving them when a female head scientist shows her a picture of a pet Delicaty. (If memory serves correctly.) Ended up becoming drunk by the world's milk at one point due to AlterWorld's milk having alcoholic affects on her, but not natives due to some strange dimensional tolerence and content differences between the two dimensions. Latest chapter at last read showed the protagonist first employing her healing ability in action to heal wounded soldier militants in a region where a battle took place. Might have been warned by Rattata not to do so for fear of being used by the two militant factions vying for control over the region. (Might have been due to ideological differences.) Featured on Fanfiction.net. Ciera. Late 2008 - Mid 2009 - 2010 when first discovered.
Estimated length at the time: 50,000 to 70,000 words.
>>25052286
>all those entries
Jesus christ why did the author stop making this? These are hella interesting to read, not even for the lewd parts
>>25055877
Did they actually stop? I think the last one came out within the last few months.
bumpémon
To the amon who requested the servine/braixen story, I've done a large bulk, and i just realized...
Of the two, the braixen would be the pc, yes?
>>25057799
Er.
Um.
...That's not how I was originally envisioning it, no. If it's too hard to rewrite, then don't, but still.
>>25057799
Fuck, i mean the servine. The servine is the mc, yes?
>>25057821
I'm a retard. The servine is the more reserved pc is how i have it, braixen being the partner. Yeah?
>>25057914
>>25057923
That's how it do in jesus land
>>25057923
Yes. Thank goodness. That's perfect and I approve.
>>25053879
>cge writing something
I'll believe it when I see it.
>>25059862
It's true, I've seen him do it myself. But he only does it in private with the lights off.
>>25059876
So you're the one who fogged up my window.
>>25060565
No, but I am the reason your left shoes are missing.
>>25060629
I thank you for that. Never again will I worry that I'm not wearing the right ones.
Whelp, it's been a long, long absence, but I've finally updated! ... Sort of!
So as a bit of background, one of the sites that I post on had a winter-holiday themed writing challenge. So this update is a response to that set in-fic. There's a few things that get fleshed out in this one that will be touched on in the future, but other than that, I mostly made it because it was cute and an excuse to worldbuild.
FFN:
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11084689/27/Fledglings
AO3:
>http://archiveofourown.org/works/3465593/chapters/13352557
Will be back to bumping the core narrative of the story by 1/31. But in the interim, enjoy some belated tropical winter holiday antics.
Now to batten down the hatches and prepare for the inevitable Farla January review.
>>25061133
Congratulations on that, and Feliz Año Nuevo Trombense to you and all your Fledglings Pokémon, in particular Marley.
>>25062583
>in particular Marley.
You can't flirt with the Nidorina, Choroy. she's not real
>>25037213
http://pastebin.com/R31F7MyE
Alright here's a redone version of the first chapter from before. It's quite longer, around 7k words or something and more stuff goes on in it, but I think phrasing and dialogue are meh. Would appreciate criticism, even if it's just saying that it's a pile of shit. Also how long should chapters usually be? I know that should be the least of my worries, but I don't really want to overwhelm a reader too much.
>>25051415
Sounds like a promising concept. If you actually get this written, I'd be interested to read it.
>>25062923
Vastly improved.
It's still a very slow start, partly because the reading is slowed by your saying things one and one half times and it being 100% ESTABLISHMENT.
>"And now..." A sudden cry resonated from a voluminous sound system hidden underneath the walls of a giant stadium, making sure that the voice at the speaker's end could be heard by all within that towering building.
Of course the speakers are large, and designed to be heard; that's what a PA system does. We're slogging through empty words: they tell us nothing we didn't already know, they don't change our perspective, and they reveal only that something typical is indeed typical. Often this narration (especially in the dream sequence) uses a sentence structure that half-rephrases what it just said. (Also, "Without further ado" is followed by 810 words of ado before "And now, let us commence the battle!" Liar emcee.)
Beyond that, the establishment is a little too heavy for how little is going on. For example, everything from awakening to being approached by Gigi (stranger danger!) is 2.5k in establishment of truly only a few beats. Hitmonjeeves, self-service kitchen, outcast at school because of pokephobia, King is infamous, teacher likes pop quizzes.
Were I designing this, I would reorganize: Begin with Mike arriving home from school, establish Pedro and homelife, have Gigi jingle his bike bell, drag Mike off to the lab; return home, establish kitchen, do some TV (establish reality of league battle), decide what to do with fox, and save the dream for that night/next day.
This is evidence that you can write (one you learn to paragraph your speaker changes and proof your grammar) but the text isn't focused on what it wants to say (or, it doesn't have much to say and is padding it out). Indeed, the only hint of conflict is at the very end: Mike's reluctantly receiving a pokemon, with the chapter stopping before we see how he intends to resolve it, which would create the first plot DEVELOPMENT.
>>25063388
Here's a good thing my English teacher taught me.
He said this, no lie:
"Extraneous words in your story are like rat shit in a cake. You don't say 'Oh, but there's only a bit of rat shit in your cake.' If the word isn't helping, it's hurting. Get that shit outta there."
>>25063388
Thanks for the feedback. I realize that I'm quite repetitive due to a bad habit in the past while I wrote essays and stuff. I'll try to fix that and your scheme for the plot's progression sounds much better than what I did right now. I'll try redoing this one more time and lower the word count so it isn't too heavy and gives more information than the previous versions. Thanks for the advice.
>>25063515
I agree with the emotion, but I do not care to eat a cake that, despite having been descatted, once wore brown, non-chocolate sprinkles.
>>25063529
There are times when you can wax poetic, but the rule above all rules is Be Interesting. (Show Don't Tell is right behind it.) If you can think of a way to describe speakers that's interesting, go for it! Otherwise, edit it down to the barest essential and get on with the good stuff.
Length, don't worry about it. I like 6k-9k, 15k is probably a good limit. However, your current concern is developing your Narrator voice to be engaging and to complete a plot arc. A chapter isn't a chapter because you stopped writing at a particular length; a chapter is a chapter because something happened, somebody reacted to it, and that action had a consequence.
>>25063672
I think the goal is to never have it in there to begin with, and the cake isn't baked till you send it out.
Also, yes. Length you shouldn't worry too much about. Schools fucked us over by making us think that you need a certain length.
>>25063797
Epic meem broseph
So, a thing.
We've all (likely) gone on before on tips and advice on how to write or not write the quintessential Trainer's Journey aka journeyfic. Likely everything from camping to "how to give your Trainer an Eevee" has been covered.
But, what about advice on how to write or not write a story about trainers who are already very experienced? Not gym trainers but rather actually on-the-road kinds of, maybe equivalent to Veterans or the Ace class.
Since I'm planning and writing such a story, I'd like to see what tips, advice or common gotchas have you people come up with for this one.
>>25064602
I like focusing on whatever it is that's holding trainers like that back. They're obviously skilled/ strong, but there's something holding them back (trauma, motivation, just weak team).
It gives you a good jumping off point for conflict since you don't have to ass-pull your mc out of a dangerous situation with weak Pokemon (like with most journey fics). Take advantage of that, your trainer can hold their own from the start without it seeming forced.
Your MC is going to get shit from their peers that are better. Obviously there's always that, but I assume your MC has been at it for a while and most of their peers have surpassed them. Also you have room to mentor the not as skilled trainers, and hey, maybe they'll see the problem within themselves by looking at someone else with a similar problem.
>>25064602
in my view, it would be important to make sure that the character in mind has another set goal if they're already experts. If they have already beaten the champion, for instance, maybe they want to do something else, like participate in tournaments, get involved with the community or system, or just continue sightseeing the world. Since they have already learned the basics of pokemon battling, expereinced gym battles, or even busted some evil team group, there would still be a strong emphasis on the journey, but battling might not be the top priority.
If you jump straight into battle from the start, you might run into the risk of showing off too much of their power at once. This can be avoided by having the opponent equally or even stronger, or just have the trainer teaching others or someone.
You could have them meet familiar people, or have evidence of their works scattered throughout backstory or whichever region they went.
>>25064755
To add to this, I assume the MC has seen most of the region, stories have unfolded all over and the MC's past actions have rewards and consequences. They're going to know people (assumptuously) and run into familiar faces (as well as new ones obviously).
>>25064602
Care to post?
>>25064827
>>25064755
>>25064812
I like you guys, you know that, right?
Okay to explain more.
I'm working on a story, working title 'Interim', about two Trainers who yeah, have gone through the whole "basics of Pokémon battling" or "busted some evil team group" even. They've already left somewhat of a mark in their region. Then the Champion goes "well, their mark seems to be good enough, what can POSSIBLY go wrong?" and puts them through a HARD MODE test to see if one of them would be fit to become a Champion. (In this setting I'm working on, being Champion is more serious business than the usual "lol wait 4 challengers at the end of E4")
I'm keeping eye on factors like these so far:
>I like focusing on whatever it is that's holding trainers like that back.
>If you jump straight into battle from the start, you might run into the risk of showing off too much of their power at once.
>To add to this, I assume the MC has seen most of the region, stories have unfolded all over and the MC's past actions have rewards and consequences
> they have already learned the basics of pokemon battling, expereinced gym battles, or even busted some evil team group
> just have the trainer teaching others or someone
>Care to post?
I'll see what I can do to tidy those google docs up before sharing them for comments.
>>25064982
One measurement that would stick out then would be an emphasis on the trainer's tactical knowledge to improvise or make plans when least expected.
Either that or have the champion put them through the test without having them know that they're being tested in the first place, meaning a lot of danger, and a lot of situations to put them to the limit just to do this favor.
>Writing a part about someone holding a bundle of sticks
>A constant urge to refer to it as a fagot
I'm too lazy to be mature
>>25067509
You could totally get away with it in a written medium since you can distinguish the two words by their spelling.
Let's start a dialogue. What do you do to break through writer's block?
>>25067669
You know, I've never actually had writer's block before. There's a few rough patches that take far too long to write, sure, but there's never been a time where I just get STUCK. I'm not even entirely sure what it feels like.
>>25067684
Constipation. Except without shit.
No, really. That's what it feels like.
You're simply sitting somewhere, not knowing what to do. You aren't doing work, you're just sitting there, staring forward, trying to get done with something but not getting anywhere.
>>25067509
I wouldn't
