>wake up
>Pokemon are real
What do
Fuck them
>>24743535
Came here to post this
>>24743532
Conquer the entire universe and rebuild it into a utopia of love and color with the help of my loyal, understanding Pokebros.
The only things I won't tolerate in my perfect world are filthy transexuals, SJWtards, literal shit fetish faggots, gurofaggots or NTRfag subhumans. I don't think that's too big a price.
Pic related. The heroic Legendary Pokemon of ideals would fill the last spot on my team right after Carbink.
real thread
Buy Slowpoketail and chew on it.
>>24743532
Get the fuck out of my home and travel
>>24743566
I like this post
Take a quick shower and put her in the car, gotta drive an hour to uni.
Will freak out in the car later. Hopefully we can understand each other enough to chat and stuff.
The government would cease every Pokémon. You wouldn't touch a single one that could be deemed s hazardous for our society.
Basically what they do with then nukes
Wake up to a tender assfucking from my boyfriend with whom I collapse into a sweaty heap with and cuddle for an hour before I go rape Flannery or something I dunno :3
>>24743599
>Legendary Pokemon immediately decide to revolt and fuck up all those faggots
>>24743532
Probably die a horrible death
>>24743598
>her
Faggot.
>>24743532Catch 'em all, of course
>>24743655
What will you do after you have caught them all
Everyone dies when Hoopa accidentally throws black hole onto Earth.
>>24743566
>filthy transexuals
good luck with themyou're gonna get dunked
>>24743887
Suicide
>>24743566
Zekrom won't awaken if your heart isn't in the right place
>>24743887
Have a pair of every two mon, build an arc and use Primal Kyogre to make it rain 40 days and 40 nights.
Go back to bed
>>24743598
Well, today would of been a bad day, have to go to a Siemens plant for school. Get to look at a fuck you sized gas-turbine. I think my typh would have to sit in the car bored out of her gourd.
At least she would have my 3ds.
Become Mojo Jojo
>>24743887
Hunt for shinies
>>24743905
It would be way more efficient to have one of every mon and have them mate with your Ditto. Cuts your ark size in half.
>>24744191
I don't want to make Ditto a whore.
>>24743566
>Wiping out NTRfags
No point. They literally do it themselves.
FIND BAE
>>24743532
watch digimon
>>24743532
Wake up
>>24743895
Hoopa is the lovable prankster of Pokemon. The worst he'll do is warp the Westboro Baptist Church into the middle of a gay pride parade, which is a Win-Win situation.
>>24743532
>wake up
can't wake up
>>24748900
wake up INSIDE
>>24743532
...But I can't Anon. I can't.
Gardewaifu.
Get a telepathy ability medicham and tell it to use mind reader and uncover government and big business conspiracies and tell me telepathically.
Get a ditto or zoroark and get it to transform into 10/10 girls
Have an eevee and nidoran female and male as pets
Breed a hypnosis vulpix coz they make cute pets and get it to put me to sleep when I can't get to sleep.
>>24743535
This
Become a pokemon breeder like I always wanted. Not me breed with the Pokemon faggots
>obtain best snek
>_hugher as long as I can
>I dunno, get lunch or something. Snakes look cool when eating, so that's a bonus
Slaughter innocent people and pokemon
>>24743532
BFF a Furret.
>>24743566
pls anon-sama let the NTRfags live
>>24743532
Fucking shit myself. Sit and freak out for a awhile. Gather myself get anything that could be used as a weapon. Then go into town (driving my car) to get real weapons, guns and shit (don't have any in my house because I am not an American). Go home mowing down any single trainer (10 year old or not) or wild Pokemon. Go home and never leave my home again. The Pokemon world is as dangerous as living in the Middle East or America, fuck that shit
>>24752447
Or just do everyone else a favor and kill yourself before I take care of a selfish shit like you for them.
>>24748941
Pull out that old Gen 1 Pokedex I bought from Toys r Us and achieve the professor's dream
I'd capture or befriend one as soon as possible and prepare to go on a journey.
>>24752920
heh
>>24743532
I wake up every morning with Pokemon being real.
I have most of the games.
I have a few plushies.
I have a lot of figures
I have a fuck load of TCG cards.
They are real.
>>24743532
>aquire ditto
>put dick in it
>hatch my pre evo
>both put dick in ditto
>repeat until one of me has perfect IVs
>have perfect me accomplish great things in my stead
>>24753901
And your potential army of inferior copies?
>>24753981
Obviously you just release those or send them to Wonder Trade. Duh.
Here's an interesting question. How would you simulate a Pokedex using already existing materials?
Smartphones? A journal?
>>24754832
Smartphones may work to have all the info about what they seem capable of doing, or at least what we think they can do, as demonstrated in the games.
But a Journal is the way to go in the end. While having that info via Smartphone, it doesn't change that we don't know how they would interact with our world, or if some information was incorrect in some aspects.
Man, now I want it to happen even more. It would be pretty cool studying their behavior and abilities.
>>24753793
Wish I could delude myself into thinking Pokemon was real this badly.
Which pokemon would be best forvore?
What about just cuddling?
>>24747131
Ditto is ALWAYS a whore
>>24751445
Goddamn.
Go to work.
Try and catch one on my day off.
Start a collection.
Try to get into trainer battles to make fat dosh off scrubs.
Realize this won't work because one half of the country will be convinced by lights and sound from a box that fighting pokemon and keeping them in balls is morally wrong and the other half will be convinced by the same process that pokecenters healing things for free is Cultural Marxism and ruining everything.
So I'll end up with a registered level 5 rattata that I'll have to pay out the ass for every time it gets a boo-boo.
So basically just like having a pet.
>Wake up
Fuck a Pokemon
>Eat breakfast
Fuck a Pokemon
>Go to work
Fuck a Pokemon
>See others fucking Pokemon in the street while I'm working
Fuck a Pokemon
>Leave for lunch
Fuck a Pokemon
>Get back to work
Fuck a Pokemon
>Browse /vp/ on my phone during slow hours
Fuck a Pokemon
>Go home
Fuck a Pokemon
>Go to sleep
Dream about fucking pokemon
>>24743532
Travel forever. Occasionaly stop to make money doing whatever people will give me money to do.
Win gym badges. Sell them to other people. Win gym badges again. Sell them again. Eventually after traveling for 10-15 years, find a nice gym to settle down around. Work my ass off to become the gym's next leader when the current one retires.
>>24748781
stop that
Become depressed as I realize that now I have something I'm really going to miss as work and school grinds me to dust.
>>24758866
It won't matter if a bunch of retarded moralfaggots try to stop raising Pokemon. All we'll need to do is rebel and seize power if necessary.
>>24743532
I hope my team becomes real too first of all, second of all have a couple fire types in hand because winter is coming and I want to be prepared for snow.
>>24758908
Which ones?
>>24753901
This.
>>24758908
>dream about fucking pokemon
>not actually fucking a Pokémon in your dream
Cresselia, m8
>>24743655
the only real answer
>>24743599
What kind of communist nannystate country do you live in?
Collect all muh Eeveelutions
I would go out into the forest next to my house and try to grab a caterpie or whatever. Hopefully I wouldn't get horribly fucked up by anything, which is very possible given that I have the muscle mass of a pudding cup, weight of a wet towel, and durability of paper cup.
I would bring a bug net or something, since I have a few good ones because hobbies, and food to bait the pokemon. I'm a poor, poor little bitch, so I'm not spending cash on pokeballs.
So I probably would last a day or two before I get myself killed.
>>24758908They won't take nicely to shit like that
Realistically I'd stand in the same spot forever waiting for the main character to come along and beat my team of level 13 bug types, fork over all my hard earned money, and continue to stand in that same spot in the vain hopes that the main character will come back for a VS Seeker rematch.
>>24758908
Somehow misread the beginning as "wake up, eat a pokemon"
Who else would teach their Pokemon to do shit like play games?
Just imagine sitting in the living room with your bros playing some Mario Party hoping no one gets pissed and destroys the TV.
get a poochyena cause hes cute. no furry shit cause im not a faggot
>>24764496
that's fucked up
>>24748936
you need to wake up inside...
>>24743532
Kill a psyduck like I've always dreamed.
>>24764536
>you and charizard alternating between dying in Mario Maker and telling the other to "git gud scrub"
sounds comfy
>>24764487
Underrated post
>>24766342
There are no upvotes or downvotes. Fuck off.
>>24764536
Now you make me wonder how well Alakazam would do on a game where logic/fast thinking needs to be applied. Or just any game, for that matter.
>>24766363
Underappreciated post, then.
Think outside the box, memester.
>>24766425
I don't think he'd do too well at fighting games, since he can only learn 4 moves.
>>24766363
>trying to fit in this hard
>>24766591
Ha! Made me chuckle. Nice anon.
>>24764399
bongland
That depends. Do Serperiors eat people?
Meme answer:find a female Go.odra
Fuck anything that even vaguely allows my dick in it.Real talk though, find a big enough flying type that I could ride
>>24743897
If my heart was in the wrong place I'd be dead.
>>24743535
this
>>24748781
Grab a brush and put a little make up
>>24766644
I just realized this would be great: all the vorefags would immediately an-hero in their pokemon of choice.
What a beautiful world.
Drop out of college and fuck off to wherever I can catch pokemon. Why bother getting a job when I can just beat people in trainer battles and get pokeshekels?
>>24766591
>>24766615
>posting anything against voting tier shit is trying to fit in or meming
Shoot yourselves.
>>24766679
Why did this dumb joke make me laugh?
I'd go outside and see how much the world has changed.then I become disappointed and go back to bed again
>>24762267
Why not Darkrai?
>>24743532
>acquire Fennekin, Goomy, Ralts, Eevee, Buneary, and Audino
>all of them female
>evolve to Braixen, Goodra, Gardevoir, Sylveon, and Lopunny
>unlock achievement for getting best harem
>fuck them for a while
>get arrested for bestiality
>go to prison
>never allowed to have Pokémon again
>regret fucking them
>while also regretting not fucking them more
>>24768800
>your pokemon launch a jailbreak to get their fucktoy back
>all is well
>>24743532
Do nothing.
Think about it faggots. We live in a world right now where you can be anything, but you alreafy aren't. We're going to be like those background characters in the chinese cartoon who see Ash from a distance do cool stuff, then go back home and fap and do the same thing every day until they die having accomplished nothing.
Do you really think your life will be different in a world with pokemon in it? Do you think it will be better? You do nothing now, you will do nothing in that world too.
>>24764631
Fuuuuk yeeeeeeees
Me and my typhlosion playing halo 5, or Minecraft, or fallout 4, or swapping out on bloodborne
>>24768842
Pokemon will give people a reason to actually leave the house, faggot.
>>24768800
>Goodra
>best harem
Pick one.
>>24769240
I'd rather pick both. Get best harem, and also get Goodra.
>>24769240
>implying affectionate slime-dragon isn't bestcuddleslut
>>24769329
>>24769289
>>24768800
NOBODY LIKES MALE GOODRA.
I AM A FUCKING WINNER.
WINNER, BITCHES.
KILL ALL MALE GOODRA. NOBODY LIKES THEM. GOODRA IS ONLY A GAL.
>>24769531
All Goodra are shit.
>>24769531
Good, now will you shut the fuck up and leave /vp/ alone now?
>>24769531
>not wanting to take a self-lubricating, prehensile cock that can grow to longer than your height
What are you gay? I bet you kiss girls too, you filthy fucking faggot.
>>24769615
Why are Goodras all shit?
>>24769615
>All Goodra aresex.
fixed it for ya, anon :^)
>>24769646
Careful, down that path leadscockvore.
>>24769646
They look stupid and shit on what was supposed to be a creative snail dragon out of nowhere.
That depends on how lethal Pokemon moves are. Are they like in the anime, where they don't do shit, or are they actually super destructive?
Befriend a Ralts and love it unconditionally until I die.
That little thing seriously hits me in the feels in the way no fictional character should.
>>24772220
Games.
No one wants shit based off the Ashnime where they'll annoyingly say their own names like retards.
>>24772694
>wanting to hear the sounds of heaven and hell at all hours
>>24772256
Would you ever evolve it?
>>24772694
Ah, so Pokemon are quite lethal, to the point where even a low-ish power move can still CUT down small trees.
I know it's a memedragon at this point, but honestly, a Goodra seems like it'd make a nice pokemon to hang out with. The main downside, of course, being that the slime would make it annoying to have around the house.
>>24743566
But mah feminism anon
>>24769531
And nobody likes a deluded slugkek.
I know there are two slugspammers and that guy is probably a fake, but what do these faggots see in a giant purple slug dragon anyway?
>>24775430
>>24775430
>I know there are two slugspammers
>I've made 3 posts about slugdragon
>3÷118×100=~2.5%
That hardly even comes close to spamming. But to answer your question, I like it because it's chubby, I like chubby girls. Looks better than all the other PseudoLegends, sans Metagross, but it's more cuddly than Metagross. And it's very affectionate, and all I wake up with every morning is mycrippling loneliness, and I'd love to be showered in unconditional love.
>>24769531
my goodra is male you fucker
First I go out and catch a pokemon
Train it up
Catch a new pokemon
then repeat until I have every pokemon I want
>>24743532
But pokemon are already real
Catch a bunch of female only pokemons and fuck 'em all.I would just form a team with all my favorite waifumons though.
>>24769531
admit it, u r ghey for leiking goodra.
>>24775430
Not one of them, but I can sort of see how a pokemon who likes hugging you would be nice. Plus it's a dragon, so you'll get a bunch of furries who like it, too.
>Go out into the world and travel to a place I am likely to find a Numel, probably at a Volcano I guess
>capture myself a Numel and begin raising him with tender love and care
>lots of Poképuffs, playing with yarn and battling our hardest against wild encounters later, he evolves into a Camerupt
>have massive warm fluffy loyal camel bro to chill with
>warm volcano moo bro is also a vigilant fighter
>pour my efforts into researching and locating a Mega Stone and Cameruptite
>manifest our bond into Mega Evolution and swamp all those who challenge us
>after a long day of battling, go home and cuddle with my warm fluffy camel bro
Would be living the motherfucking dream.
>>24779261
You'd burn to death
>collect birds
>become gym leader or something
As a genetic engineer, I could take part in creating Mewtwo.
>>24748936
thank mr skeltal
>>24743532
pick chespin as starter
>>24743532
I certainly would not catch 'em all!
