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>News
- The NA Splatfest, Past vs Future, is now underway!
- Would you rather have a perfect body or a perfect brain? The next JP Splatfest starts 1/23 at 12:00 PM JST!
- The Custom Hydra Splatling is now available!
- Watch the trailer for the two new upcoming maps, Piranha Pit and Ancho-V Games!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XVAS1FiXMw
- Squid Sisters Concert announced for Japan on January 30th, 2016!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC0rxB_G014
>FAQ
-http://pastebin.com/1wPYkZc9
>Resources
- http://pastebin.com/6UaR6zHL
>Official NA Tumblr:
- http://splatoonus.tumblr.com/
>Wiki:
- http://splatoonwiki.org/
>User Stats:
- http://splatoon.nintendo.net/
WE WUZ PAST KINGS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk2TkjZF4Hw
Reminder to not bully the Marie advocates.
We're all friends here!
So...tired....8....more....battles
>>128752669
That's an... unusual looking Woomy.
>get a level 10 Fanboy on the team, named "pooooooooooooooooooop"
>Still ink 80% of the map
Damn it feels good to be Team Past.
>>128752813
Oh, and he had 0 kills, 8 deaths. That was the important bit.
I guess futurefags could say that... the past came back to haunt them!
The future isn't looking too bright for Marie!
>>128753313
Every time you slander Marie, Callie gets another beating
>>128753378
The only one getting a beating is Marie for the past 6 fests~
Future King!
Future King!
Future King!
FUTURE KING!
>>128753550
Played against one of ThatSo's alts
Played against Lunar
...lol wut?
>>128753613
Did I squidbag you? I keep forgetting to do that in between matches.
Stupid Sexy Nazi.
>>128753378
>>128753526
>That Splatfest was fun, wasn't it Callie.
>Y-yeah, I won again...
>And you know what that means.
>B... b-but do we h-have to?
>Take it off Callie.
>But-
>And get me my bat.
>I... okay...
>>128753864
Nope,but I did you.
>>128754012
I'll have my revenge.
Callie wins this Splatfest and as a prize gets to go to the past and meet one of those odd dinosaurs and ride a human.
>>128754124
I want to play horsey rides with Callie!
>main account #teampast
>some games ez, some games i have to work for it (like some games I have 1300 points and we still lose)
>at +26 hawtness on past
>get on alt charger account, #teamfuture
>practice aim, not intentionally throwing, but not trying to win
>games are stomps no matter how little work I do
>want to cry
>>128753878
Stupid clouds ruining my loop.
>>128754124
Almost makes me want to lurk the draw thread so I can get someone to draw Callie in this pose with the belly and her saying, "Sorry! I went back to the past, did some dirty things with a human and ended up with a half-breed!"
>>128754491
Just crop it to the inkling alone then. Unless this is secretly about flaunting your rolls.
>>128752669
are you me?
>>128754508
Turns out it was just a portal to the living room, where she found Marie disguised as a human.
>>128754508
A half-breed that can actually swim, but can't squid in ink.
One slot today Jess. One day he will get it right.
>>128753550
>>128753613
Oh, early on I played against a Jess too.
>Marietards on suicide watch
>>128754721
It's obviously not the recorder's rolls. You can't record your own woomy like this.
>>128754721
That's right, he's ordering his own gear. You caught him.
>>128754823
Knowing that
>One day he will get it right
fills you with determination.
>>128754905
No they're not, just Marie.
>start splatfest
>winning off and on, rotating teams, as per usual
>get with a new team mid-defender
>undefeated from defender up to king, and then some
>mfw I had over 34 consecutive wins
I have literally never had this good a run during a splatfest, especially considering the team started rotating out and almost every match ended at least 50/40
>>128754905
Going 73.0% to 18.7%
>>128755059
>Marie has a replacement in Spla2n
>Callie hates her guts
>past fiend Jesus
>>128754814
A human in Inkopolis would do amazing
>Doesn't explode from enemy ink
>floats in water
>but can't swim in ink
You'd be like a tank. Slow, but impervious.
Not sure if you'd be able to refill your ink, though.
So do mirror matches count for anything besides rank points? 5 of my first 7 matches all day were mirrors
Anyone else on team future finding this? How's past?
>>128755261
Pretty sure a Roller would still bludgeon your face in.
Why can't we have Splatfest all the time? It's so nice being able to play with western players at night, and the matches were still super fast. Keep the Japanese on their containment servers.
My entire plaza is team future
I know which team to join now
>>128755424
You better hurry, there's only three hours left
>>128755403
I'm pretty sure you'd be fine. It might be slightly heavier than the rollers we're used to, but it's still just a paint brush. The thing that kills Inklings is getting hit by the wrong kind of ink, not getting hit by the weapon itself.
>>128755498
Splatfest never ends this early unless they changed the times
>>128755606
I guess it comes down to the debate that Inklings are five foot and Dynamos weigh three tons.
>>128755353
Didn't have any Past mirror matches from Fangirl to Queen.
>>128755664
>actually repsonding
>>128755353
The Mirror match ratio is only going to get worst as the kids wake up and the Skilled Past players get off and go to sleep.
Mirror Matches don't count towards any final win %. In fact, they hurt it. All they do is allow the skilled Future players to reach Royalty quicker and get off.
>>128755675
They are five foot, but there's no way the Dynamo is that heavy.
>>128755686
>>128755763
Dammit this always happens for me
Next time I'm waiting until the last possible moment to pick a team
I wonder if the 'black' Inklings never had racial prejudice because the Octolings filled that job.
>>128754508
>Callie wins splatfest.
>Due to winning splatfest a Scientist decides to allow her to use his time machine to go back into the past.
>She meets a human and they fuck A LOT.
>She gets pregnant and gives birth to many inklings while there in the past.
>Comes back to the future eventually.
>Turns out she created a time paradox and made herself the ancestor of every inkling to ever exist.
And that's why Squids look like Kids.
>>128755945
What about black octolings?
>>128755978
Well whats the story then if Marie wins instead?
>>128756154
>Octoling and BLACK?!
Forget about
>>128756154
Every time something bad happens to Octolings, they blame the black octolings. "If it wasn't for the blacktolings, we wouldn't have such a bad rap!"
>>128755978
Until you consider how impossible it is for a human to be compatible with a squid; either a conventional one or liquid based one, as well as how that's not how paradoxes work.
>>128755940
There's no rush to pick a team, since you can pick a team during the day of Splatfest. It's not really necessary to pre-train the Splatfest Tee. Waiting allows you to see how the popularity variable plays out.
It takes around 3-5 hours to reach Royalty depending on how balanced or unbalanced the teams are. You could wait until the last 5-6 hours of Splatfest to start playing and still reach Royalty, though being among the starting group gives you the best opportunity to find the skilled players. Thus being carried to Royalty even faster, or having to crawl there if you're unlucky,
>find the strongest futurefag
>gang up on them
>slowly pick off the rest of the team
>push them back to spawn
>?????
>win
Literally every match.
>>128755945
>>128756154
>>128756208
>>128756224
I think it's the male Octolings that would be exploited as hell; probably reserved solely for breeding purposes given their low numbers, while their female counterparts are trained and weaponised.
>>128755945
>never had racial prejudice
That would depend on if they were separated initially. But seeing as inklings can change their skin and eye colour at will. It's hardly an issue they'd make a big deal over. Hitler would also be content,
>>128756376
You could just not prioritize six rolls and support the team you like more.
>tfw using Echolocator weapon during splatfest
>>128756524
Support the team you like more and have to crawl your way to royalty just to get those 18 snails.
Vs
Getting carried to Royalty in record time and get a bonus six snails.
>Dark Spirit Lvl15Fangirl Has Invaded
>>128756195Involves futa inkling on female human and then sending them back to the past because Marie doesn't want to deal with being a father.
>>128756564
No Cold-Blooded
>>128756717
Because having to work hard for your preferences is such a chore.
>those faggots who keep trying to ink the turf of your base at Dome
Fucking pest.
>>128756195
She buys a smartphone that can give massages and print pizza and comes back to remind Callie she's still salty about the Burgers Vs Pizza Splatfest before giving herself a massage to calm down from all the stress.
spawn camping every future team
>>128756376
Yeah,but over half of the 20ish games I've played have been mirrors,so it looks like future is more popular. This exact situation happened to me in the last 2 splatfests, which I lost
I just want to win one of these things for once
>>128756940
ikr? they've already painted the rest of the map green, the least they could do is leave that part orange.
>>128756940
I'm pretty sure fucking that slime thing would be what it's like to fuck an Inkling.
Am I allowed to take pity on you yet, futurefags?
>>128757124
I'm dunking on all your faggot asses too, don't worry. Evidently all you pastkids were sleeping and now our Level 50s are hungry.
>>128757172
Yes, future is definitely more popular,
While the multiplier remains at x6 the skilled players know there's little risk of a team managing to hold onto a win with popularity so they will flock away from the popular team. The resulting skill unbalance just makes Splatfest broken.
So support the team you want and possibly accept the loss, or pick the team the skilled players flock to to win.
>>128757398
Yes, Futurefags are for hugs and forgiveness, just like their Queen.
>>128757408
This is the perfect time for Future to make their comeback as the pro-past players would be heading off, Though good luck finding a solid team and praying for not many mirror matches.
>reached past king on a loss
That bully was unreal
Chargers just stood in front of their spawn the entire match
>>128757625
Reached Future King on a Mirror Match win
Any guesses how the Japanese fest will go? I have no idea which side they'd favor more.
>>128757662
>tfw getting bullied by the past.
>tfw getting bullied in the past.
>tfw hope for the future fading.
>tfw bring the noose
>>128758029
They're favouring perfect brain more than perfect body but they have more honor than us so they're unlikely to abandon it for snails.
>>128758152
This; it's in Asian culture to strive for as much knowledge and success as possible to honor your family name.
Well, it's been a wild ride, futurecucks. May the future be bright.
Echolocator: The Splatfest
>>128758318
is that red ink
>past fiend
>past champion
>past king
>future fiend
>future champion
>future king
This sounds so cool
>tfw past king
>>128758439
It's some sort of chocolate orange, it's looks brown too. Certainly not red, sadly.
>>128758439
Ored
That was so painless...connection errors aside.
>tfw dream team
>entire lobby poofs
RIP in Peace
Theres arainyhere thats a charger right? I wouldnt bring up ids generally but this feels so familiar and is bothering me.
>>128758585
>LITERALLY ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE FALSE KINGS
guys i fucking met my match
>play team future
>guy on team past with the same username as my first name
>uses the same weapon i use in the same way
First splatfest where my shirt came out shit
SpD, QSJ, and SpD
>>128758864
Are you implying there is any variety or skill in the Neon Call of Duty?
>>128758772
Friends list says he's online playing so yeee.
>Every single game i've played team future has had at least one afk
DID YOU GUYS REVERT TO DIAL UP OR SOMETHING
>>128759310
He's relaying a message to the past
>>128759214
It was fun bullying with him if it was the same one, I feel so bad spawn camping though, I can never bring myself to fully bully.
>>128759310
Comcast.
>>128759310
They've abandoned this timeline and are busy searching the infinite timelines for a future where they actually win the Splatfest.
>no suction bomb
>sprinkler destroys rainmaker shield so maybe
kek
Well I'm so tired my head is spinning so I'll see you Pastbros later.
Past Vs Future Shoutouts:
¥§| Alex, Dispersey, nalani, Juju, lury, Tyler, CGGarnet, Damax, Jerry, jet, Nicole, Daniel, OmarSMO, Juppa, Momaro, Dylan, Shadow, aicome, Henry, DJ Leal, Joe Man, Johnny, melissa287, salami, vio, AADOnsuN, Amanda, Asgore óüò, Bran, Carson, Dave, DJ Khaled, gameboy64, Jack, kojo, lau_slayer, MysticPain, Sevensyn, Sylver, Turkey, William, yuu, Mecanico, Noid, V.avi, diana, Johnfresno, Rj, Scott, Angelique, Astarael, bootyhunt, Bribot, coque, Doug, DrAvarici, John, noboDy, Pancake, Pepperoni, pkspe Gold, Roxas, Tallon, yadi
>>128760840
>DJ Khaled
>>128761042
WE THE BEST
>>128760840
Kelp Dome
Played 16
Won 9
Turf Points 17764
Splats 62
Splatted 52
Hammerhead Bridge
Played 16
Won 9
Turf Points 15089
Splats 57
Splatted 52
Piranha Pit
Played 18
Won 10
Turf Points 19241
Splats 79
Splatted 56
>>128754823
Kay, thanks.
Are you still trying for the Studio Headphones?
Any other futurebros kicking the asses of fellow futurebros but getting their asses handed to them by pastbros?
This was one of the easiest splatfests for me so far, not even that many connection errors. Thank you pastbros.
>>128761674
Yeah. Only one slot today; although, I probably wouldn't have bothered since Splatfest
>>128761776
Won 7 out of 8 mirror matches.
SO MANY FUCKING SQUIBS
hey look who i foundso far the only good player i fighted on team future
>>128760840
bootyhunt? can't forget a name like that... i played with bootyhunt a few times in a random tw lobby not too long ago
>Hit Queen
>turn this stupid shit off
>that's my fill of Splatoon for a fucking week
Fuck them for mixing level 10s with 50s.
>>128760840
>>128761640
Autism
Not Splatoon related, but
> Just watched Big Hero 6
> Great movie, but Gogo's hips and ass in that tight suit were really distracting
> tfw I realize there's going to be a load of porn of her
>>128763571
>Not Splatoon related, but
Why even post?
>>128763571
cool story bro
>there are enough people playing Krak-on roller and other Kraken sets on team future that I got matched against three Krak-ons and another Kraken on Kelp
Jesus, I'm so sorry future-people. The ghost of Christmas present is haunting you seeing as your team has most of the squibs that don't even know enough to not take Kraken into a rotation that is two-thirds grate city.
>>128764012
Not only that, but
>All the krakon rollers
>No beacons on map
Now that's just sad
>win every mirror match
>lose every actual match
>>128755203
god callie fags really are sensitive people
IM FEELING IT
seems like today, a mmemimin is getting sneaky with some furtive tactics...
>降りてきたところを倒してやるんだ。。。!!くくく。。。
>when she gets down here, i'll splat her...!! hehehe...
but sometimes, the opponent gets the better of you, and that's why it's always good to have a backup plan. better luck next time!
>この後めちゃくちゃ爆発した。
>after that, there was a huge explosion.
maybe she chose team perfect brain...?
>one of those fags who spam Booyah on death
>I know the enemy is there but there is no need for me to risk it
>booyah spam so much I just splat the guy to shut him up
>team member is booyahing even faster now
fuck it backfired
>>128765069
Ah; always a breath of fresh air amidst all the shitflinging.
>>128765491
OH WAIT
>>128761776
Sounds about right. Really feel like Past is gonna win this, sorry guys....
>>128765115
Holy crap, are you team past?
I had a really good team, but this guy just get spamming booyah the whole match. Every single game just non stop. I had to ditch my dream team.
>>128765648
Seems more fitting given their personality. Marie is cute with her hair down.
>>128765934
Maybe team future can win with overwhelming popularity?
>>128752669i never realized asriel looks like a woomy until now
>>128766930
It's definitely possible, all Team Future may need to take this back is just a decent amount of wins.
Annie!
>>128765934
She is; but I dunno what you mean be personalities.
>>128767890
yes
a classic splatfest tradition
GET EM
Aight, I'm about to start my climb to King. Chose Future, what am I in for?
First time seeing a woomy in a dinosaur suit.
This might be the fastest I've ever hit King. I suspect an even bigger blowout than Pirates vs Ninja.
>>128767978
I suppose life styles would be a better word. A done up hairstyle would be practical for a fit, strong, sporty type of girl like Callie. Marie being less active wouldn't have to worry about longer hair getting in her way.
I am hopelessly loving this. Who would've thought that what is basically posing dolls would be so much fun.
>>128768275
Squibs. I'd say majority of my matches against Future their team had people sub 20.
I felt bad for this one level 50 on Future who was obviously pretty good but could not carry those new players.
DO NOT JOIN TEAM FUTURE!
>>128769034
oh believe me that fun dies real quick after you get used to it and turns into an addicting hobby you can't stop
>Finally get back after a few months without a connection
>Flip through the stores quickly before going to scout out some of the maps that popped up in my absence
>Stuck listening to Sheldon for what feels like three hours
Has there been any more DEEPEST LORE other than the painting of a human in the art gallery?
>that +60 SO HAWT!!
>Judd only gives you 1400
they should buff this
>>128769272
Which is why I'm going to live it up while I can.
>>128769408
Image made me realize I will never subtlety pull on Marie's dress for a nip slip
WHO /PERFECTBODY/ HERE
>>128769272
Is One Punch Man any good or is a just the meme of the month anime like Hamster Girl?
>>128769595
Is that some wrong opinions I see there?
>>128769685
It is very good. Funny and great action scenes. People who call it a meme anime are angry that it overshadowed whatever moeshit they wanted to digest.
>>128769685
its like DBZ but with a human, normies love it
>>128769685
Good and bad are relative terms, given it depends entirely on an individual's taste.
And it kind of is the meme of the moment, I guess.
>at this point, marie having bigger tits than callie has ascended "personal preference" headcanon and become a "everyone else is doing it so i have to" headcanon
fuck my life
>>128769685
I'll say half and half. It's quite entertaininh but I can't say it isn't a flavor of the month kind of thing.
>Everyone says Past is going great
>Join Past
>Get blown out 3 times in a row
YOU LIED TO ME /ink/
>>128769595
Right here.
>>128770090
I'm having a really shit time as past. I keep getting teamed up with sub level 10 scrubs. Shit ain't fun.
>>128770069
That's because it makes perfect sense.
Callie's fitter, Marie's lazier, Callie's purer, Marie's sexier; it all adds up. And it's kinda neat to see artists catch onto that.
>>128762960
>fighted
Literally underage
>there are people who dont fight for the future and would rather live in the past
>>128769537
>Marie will never slap you
>Marie will never take you backstage and tell you to ask permission first
>>128770652
there weren't sjws in the 1500s anon
>>128770652
The world and society is going to shit; and ultimately humanity wipes itself out and is replaced by cephalopods. What future is there for us?
>not memorizing lottery numbers and going to the past
>>128770751
they arent hard to fight at all, attempting to start a legitimate debate makes them run and cry out on twitter
>>128770879
the STARS
>>128770879
>implying the past is any better
At least we'll still have video games in the future. If you went backwards, there's no way to distract yourself or otherwise hide from the world.
>>128770652
Nah mate. It just says which I would like to visit
By going to the past I can disprove all religion fags. It would be so worth it
>all the good past fags have stopped playing
Time to make a comeback.
Come on Futurebros, it's time to go for the win.
Just went 14-0 and still lost. What the fuck.
>>128770964
>one person
>dispelling religion
you are a poor sick man, religion has its place, and without it, we would not have such a grand culture in the first place
the masses need their feint little hope, and reality will only make them rowdy
>>128771046
You know this is turf war right?
>>128770964
>>128770318
sure.
but even if a headcanon might make sense, there's always some variation to it if it's just a sort of logical thing.
yet, there's such a ubiquitous following to it, and people get upset when people draw anything contrary.
with such a massive scale, it's clear that it's not just something that people draw because they've taken the time to think about which squid sister would have bigger tits with a discussion of careful reasoning, they just decided that since everyone else was drawing marie with bigger tits, they should be doing that too.
>>128771189
not the guy you replied to but think of it this way
majority of the round the enemy team is splatted
why the fuck isn't my team inking. im getting top kills and turf inked so I'm doing my part
i traded taking out 3 people. im looking at this fool inking around spawn aimed down at the floor with a jet squelcher
>>128771189
>splats don't matter in turf war
I'm sick of this meme.
This isn't the testfire where no one knows how to play anymore.
Only covering turf isn't gonna secure you a win, making sure the enemy team can't cover is.
>>128771401
Fucking this. I also had highest inked.
>>128771328
Of course, but that doesn't mean it's not still done.
If you can't find a picture of Callie with a pair of cans, you're not looking hard enough.
If we were to use real logic, the "Marie is heavyset" headcanon would go down the drain, because idols can't be anything but stick thin.
There's just too many damn Mariefags.
>>128771598
>Of course, but that doesn't mean it's not still done.
uwot
>>128771605
Maybe in Japan they're idols, but in the West they're considered 'IT Girls'. Those a free rein.
>>128770069
why did god have to make me a tits man?
Future theme
https://youtube.com/watch?v=163_C5UVU-I
>>128771949
Because women are beautiful, and tits are beautiful.
>>128770948
>I'd be forced to gain control of my life if I went back in time
I don't see how that's a bad thing
>>128771949
Tits, Hips, and Thighs are the best parts of the female body.
>>128772153
But Callie is beautiful
So where are her big tits
>>128772269
I order them Hips, Tits, Thighs.
Eyes, Waist, Smile, and Heart are pretty important too.
this splatfest in a nutshell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaOgu2CQtI
>>128772308
Attached to Marie, so she can play with them whenever she wants and doesn't have to carry around even more excess mass next to her tentacles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwOQJk8cGmg
Future theme
>their entire team has krakens
>our entire team has bubblers
>>128772626
Gay
>>128772720
Of course Callie's gay.
What happens when a team wins? New levels or something ?
>>128772929
nothing
>>128772929
you get super seasnails
you can use them to add slots or roll your gear for different subs
Futurebros, you're capitalizing on how many shitty squibs are playing right now right? We might be able to make a Naughty vs Nice style comeback right now.
which one of you fucking faggots is this
this is why past is better
>>128773324
>>128773324Doctor Who is a pretty good show though.It's only annoying because of 14 year olds from Tumblr shoving it fucking everywhere.
>>128773324
>Spicy Meme
>>128773304
But just as many Future squibs came on. It's a nightmare.
>>128773583
I just found my dream team and we're wrecking face right now.
>>128773304
Not this time, we hold the most bad squibs on our side again. We can't recover.
>K/D of 10 to 1
>Most paint points on me team
>We lose something like 16 to 70
Sasuga children
>>128773968
Yes we can, come on anon. Give it your all.
>>128773958
Well I've found my Past Dream Team many times and I only lost twice on the way to King. I don't see Future winning this. It hasn't been this easy since I rekt Autobutts.
Are you even trying Pastfags?
>>128774475
i don't want to try anymore. shitting on your dick was fun enough
>>128774458
translation
>when worlds collide?
>!t!eam 'f!uture!!
>nine year old relative is playing Splatoon
>check how she's doing
>team past
>she's just dicking around, killing and inkling the least
>she still has a 5.0 vibe
future fags are losing to fucking children!
>>128772269
Uh, I believe the best part of the female body is her, uhm, her BRAIN?
You're uh, you're welcome, dick.
>>128774475
The only time this ever happened to me was when I was playing against another Future team.
>>128774837
So, you're implying that Callie ha the brain of a cat?
>>128774837
>>128775034
That's, um, that's right, how do you like that uhhh that shit, brother? Uhuh yeah.
>>128774837
Most important part is the vagina, otherwise she's not a woman.
>all these cocky past fags saying future is obviously going to lose
>mfw I'm 19.5 vibe
>mfw I've only lost like once to pastfags
>have been have more trouble with future mirrors than I have against past shitters
>every past team I run into is either dumb squibs or shitty higher level players
>>128775375
>Having mirror matches
I have some bad news for you and the bad news is that it doesn't matter how well you do.
Anyone have the bingo card?
It's going be one of those days again of nothing but squibs placing beacons at spawn and no one inking turf.
>>128775501
The more popular team isn't always destined to lose.
Future could have such overwhelming popularity that all it'd need to win is just a good enough win score.
>>128775574
>>128772910
What a couple of cuties
Future pls
>>128775375
>he thinks he is going to save the future
>>128775802
Really wish paint.net had a way to autosave as png
>>128775375
>19.5 vibe
...Is that honestly supposed to be impressive? For that matter, do you honestly think your performance will have a thing to do with the end results?
>>128775375
That... doesn't mean much, honestly. I'm on Future too, and I think the trashy players I've been paired with are more common than anything now. It was good when it first started, but now every team I've had has been awful, and any dream teams I COULD have are lost due to comm errors. Even teams that manage good K/D ratios are losing bad.
>>128775679
>what is pirates vs ninjas
>>128775679
Does anyone know how popular it would have to be to win by popularity with this 6x multiplier?
>>128776000
By... selecting PNG as the filetype to save in...? What's so complicated about that?
>>128776208
It's complicated cause I'm an idiot who never remembers
>>128776000
Autosaving to .png would be bad if you're working on an image that uses layers and needs to be saved as .pdn/.psd/etc.
Does the new squiffer have the worst kit in the game? Fucking useless ink mines and an inkzooks that'll take ages to charge up