>immersed in a game
>"WRRRRRR KNOCK KNOCK"
FUCK YOU MOM
>He still lives with his parents
>knock knock
You have it good, my parents never knock.
I'm glad my parents made me do chores around the house like vacuuming so I didn't grow up to be an ungrateful piece of shit like you
>>344741925
Mine knock, but come in right after.
>tfw you are trying to play dark souls 3 and your mom keeps whining about needing you to change her oxygen tank out
such a fucking asshole, just doesn't listen when you tell her you can't pause the game
>>344741925
My mum does, but she enters the room half a second later before I can respond.
>immersed in an album
>"WRRRRRR KNOCK KNOCK"
FUCK YOU SHIELDS
>>344741876
lmao i bet you have a job as well
ever since I started vacuuming I stopped giving a shit about this. i'm not wasting my fucking time not finishing chores faster because someone is busy being immersed. I get it if everyone's watching a movie otherwise move the fuck out of the way that spot aint going to clean itself.
>tfw finally moving out in less than a month
>never experienced this shit anyway
Guess it doesn't really matter.
>100% fully immersed and loving it in my Oblivion playthrough with my shiny new 360
>oh that looks nice, can mom play?
>she starts playing it every day almost nonstop
>doing nothing but side quests and beating up wolves and trolls
>then the same for fallout 3, new vegas, skyrim
I turned my one mom into a Toddgame addict :(
>>344742429
That knock and enter at the same time shit is the worst. My mum caught me fapping because of thatwhen I was 20.
>>344744507
My mommy bullied me about not having a gf almost every day since I turned 14
You cunts are lucky your doors were closed
You jerks are lucky you even had doors
>>344744439
what exactly do you gain by lying on the internet?
>>344744727
Don't you dare accuse me of that
>be 29
>mom walks in when I'm watching anime
>gives me the look
>>344744828
Jake is such a gay name
Why couldn't he have a cool name like Blaze, or Darren
>>344744249
>not being a productive member of society
kid, if I knew where you lived I'd drive over in one of my 3 Lamborghini's and kick you right up your neet ass
>>344744902
>gives me the look
That could mean a lot of things, anon
>>344744953
>only 3 Lambos
How poor are you?
>>344744828
Moar or source?
>>344744989
Like fukk her
Do it
>>344744902
This look?
>be me
>be 32
>dad walks in
>hey son are you winnin?
>tfw i am fappan
my life is miserable just fuck my shit up
Just post that picture already
>>344745075
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha You Are 15 Years Too Old For This Site Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Like Walk Away Nigga LMAO
>*Knock Knock*
Son.. I'm finally home
>>344744902
this look?
>>344742429
Same. This infuriates me.
>>344744507
>>344744595
>>344744902
So have you fucked your moms yet?
>>344745135
i'll turn 360 and walk away
>>344745167
No this one
>>344741823
Your mom is a vacuum? No wonder she's so good at sucking.
>>344745197
technically when I was born.
>>344745197
That's immoral
>>344745284
>nutting inside of your mom when you were born
Have you no SHAME anon?
>>344745301
So is masturbation but here I am
>>344741823
>immersed in a game
>ANON YOU SHOULD GET A JOB AND BETTER GRADES WE WILL NEVER TREAT YOU LIKE A REAL HUMAN UNLESS YOU´RE WORTH SHITLOADS OF MONEY
t-thanks
>>344745075
sounds like you were winning to me.
>>344745362
What does masturbation feel like?
>>344745448
Kind of like stroking your dick until you cum.
>>344745448
Salty milk and coins
>>344745197
I could never do something like that, but boy I sure would love to fuck my 18 year old cousin
>>344745448
Salty milk and coins
>>344744953
>>not being a productive member of society
Lol is this how you wageslaves rationalize your situation?...
>>344745448
Bags of salty coins
>>344745513
Oh hey me too.
My uncle married her mother into our family, so i guess it's not really incest
>Fully immersed in my videogames
>Mom barges into my room and wants to fuck again
I just wanted to play vidya
>>344745513
that's not even weird.
>>344745678
Then why is it still looked down upon?
>>344741823
your mother is using a based miele cleaner good taste
>>344741823
>"FO THA GROVE"
>>344746490
Beat me too it
>immersed in a fap
>knock knock
>open up the door
>it's real
>with the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel
>>344745723
Increased chance of birth defects, though with a cousin it's significantly lower than a sibling or parent, and even then the chances of it happening are often over exaggerated.
>be cursed with an 11 incher
>no way to hide it when caught masturbating
>>344747026
jesus fucking christ I'm fucking dead
>>344745197
I have dreams about it sometimes. For a while I chalked it up to no longer living at home and maybe it being some kind of comfort thing, but it's been years and it still happens, so I have no idea.
It probably doesn't help that she looks younger than me and whenever I go anywhere with her people think we're dating.
>>344747026
FUCKING LOL
I laughed and woke everybody up
>>344744681
This. I lived in an attic space with no walls for half the room. I could hear everything they did and they could hear everything I said. True hell.
>dad's been off work for a while
>props open my door EVERY morning with doorstop so it's completely god damn ajar
>i always kick it back so it's almost shut within 10 minutes of him doing it
>sometimes puts it right back where it was and says nothing
I'm not going to ask him why he keeps on doing this and how he hasn't got the hint, I'm curious to know how long this will go on for.
>>344747339
Everyone has dreams about their moms. And damn they are hot
>>344747251
sick humble brag
>>344748328
You're still not getting the hint are you son.
>>344747026
wtf is this
>>344748484
Coincidentally, I think his reason is actually that he wants our cats to be able to get into my room easily. What he doesn't seem to know is that cats can push open doors if they want to get in, they don't need to be wide open.
>>344747339
>>344748357
Mom sex dreams are the best. I always have to masturbate furiously when I wake up.
>>344742429
>>344743765
this, I'm glad I moved from home 7 years ago
also
>visit my parents in the start of the summer
>my little brother comes home with a girl (he is 19)
>going with a ferry at 3 in the night with my mom to the main land
>my mom knocks at my brothers door before we leave and opens the door at once
>stands there telling him that we are leaving now and will come back in a few days
>tells me latter that my brother and the girl was cuddling in his bed while my brother looked annoyed
I bet mothers will never understand
>>344748328
obviously you might be jerking off if the door is closed so when its open you dont do that. simple.
>>344741823
>Anon?
>what?
>ANON?
>WHAT
>ANOOOOON?
>I HEAR YOU JUST TELL ME ALREADY
>hey son, let me use your PC for a moment
How do you react?
>>344749429
>pretend that this post is the gif of that guy erasing all his computers with magnets and putting his discs into a microwave
>>344749775
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBI0yrtHUo
>>344749775
Now in WebM!
>be 19
>join the navy to getaway from home
>get a kush job
>recently turned 20
>every time my mom calls she askes if I have a gf
>tell her no
>she sounds disappointed everytime
>she wants a grandkid
>realizes that im her only chance at her getting one due to the fact my brother is obese and is rappidly going down the road to becomming a diabetic otaku
>mfw I want to be left alone and go at my own damn pace in life
>>344744953
>He works for a living
>>344750135
what movie is this from anyway?
>>344741823
Redpill me on vacuum cleaners
>>344750698
>>>/pol/ with your memes
>>344742429
Why not just lock your doors?
>>344750571
The Core
>>344750698
it sucks
>>344750698
They sound great in shoegaze
>>344750698
Dyson vacuum cleaners are actually great
>>344741823
>immersed in a movie
>nobody interrupts you or each other
>either joins you or comes back later to watch something else
>immersed in a game
>everybody tells you to stop and to play it later
>"its just a game"
>they then watch competitive cooking shows
So glad I moved out ages ago.
>>344745197
No, Shad.
None of us have fucked our momsyet
>>344745197
I'd rather watch my mom get fucked
>>344744182
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU
>>344750968
Theres the MBV poster
Youve got good taste anon
>>344742429
>>344744507
>>344748812
>>344750750
>>344743765
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrlVVELkSmw
>>344741823
>playing Bloodborne
>fighting boss
>"anoooooonnnnn"
>"moooooOooOooOOm" "can't pause" XD
Anyone ever had pic related? I sincerely doubt there is a better cheap beer. OM Ice is close but can't compete.
My mum walked in on me and my high school gf under the covers and red faced. Gf thana began to cry because she thought my mother would think she was a slut. Women are weird. I'm glad i have my videogames>>344744507
>>344752478
Im more of a steel reserve guybecause it's got more alcohol
>>344752546
Holy shit is it gross though. Edge Icehouse 8% is what I would prefer for stronger beer. It's cheaper, and tastes worse. win-win
>>344752659
I was gonna pick one up at the store today, I guess ill try Icehouse then. Im getting tired of the same taste anyway
>>344741876
not everyone hates their parents.
>>344752724
They taste like a cheap beer with a cheap shot of vodka in them. I get them for .99 here. Steel reserve has a nasty taste that doesn't sit well, imo. They aren't too bad for what they are but yeah man, try the Icehouse.. you'll definitely get buzzed if anything.
>>344741823
>be sleeping in because sick and have flu
>WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BANG BANG BANG
glad i lock my door
love u mum
>>344741823
I never had that problem, I cleaned my own room like a good boy.
>>344745075
25 year old here yeah man your #winningseriously though we're fucked haha
>immersed in a game
>"SLURRRRRP SUCK SUCK"
FUCK YOU MOM
>>344752478
It's going to be stale before you drink it.
Fuck everything over 0,5 litres.
Yep litres.
>LOOK AT WHAT TIME IT IS
>ALL YOU DO IS SIT AT YOUR COMPUTER HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE TIRED
>>344753230
>not slamming 40s in 10 minutes
If I do take my time to enjoy them a bit I'm feelan too good by the time I get to the 1/5th that gets flat to care.
You don't like the taste? It's really smooth, muh man.
>>344741925
>knocking in your own house
are you hiding something anon?
>>344747026
>>344753487
>Amerifucks standards
Come to germany and get a real beeryyy
>no one has posted it yet
Why do /v/irgins want to fuck their moms so much?
>>344741876
>having parents
How fucking gay can one be?
>Not living by yourself
Nigga I do what I like
Guys stop wanting to fuck your moms. They are normal human beings with normal feelings and most of them don't involve wanting to fuck their children.
>>344753884
This isn't about standards though. This is about the best tasting cheap beer. You got one in mind, German Friend?
>>344742429
I had the same problem growing up
I started hanging out butt naked in my room and the problem went away real quick
>>344754709
Yes, actually:
Hansa
Oettinger
Landfürst
Perlenbacher
0,5
Prost
Germania
Turmbräu
And the list isn't even complete. But you get them for under 30eurocents, without having to gag after 1/4.
But maybe, I'm just spoiled by the Reinheitsgebot.
>>344751502
>No, Shad.
>>344741823
>watching mecha anime with lolies
>barges in without knocking
>"I am not looking :D"
Jesus Christ this thread
NEETs are the parasites of this society and should be eliminated
>>344754664
Fucking moms has been a thing since Sophocles
>>344754018
Someone posted the San Andreas one but not the full version.
>>344754018
Post the rest you fuck
>>344755518
I actually live in my own apartment separate from parents, but my mom still does that shit when parents visit.
Dad just straight up uses printer in my room in the middle of the night even if I am asleep.
>it's Easter, you can't turn on PC
>just watch TV for 10 hours
I don't get it
>>344755128
Ah, shit.. quick research led me to a state of jelly. I still love my country but I don't think we have much over German beer. Send me a Hansa, friend. I love smooth golden beer. I'll send you a nice heart attack inducing American burger in return.
Just use headphones faggot.
on a similar note,
>working this summer, living in an apartment
>usually have to get up around 8-9am
>some motherfucker downstairs must have to get up half an hour before me
>he blasts shitty club music while he gets ready, always wakes me up like 30 minutes before I have to be up
>the music only lasts for 10 minutes so I can't complain
I still wanna strangle the prick. wait until the car ride to hype up like the rest of us
>this thread
>>344754068
Sauce
>>344756309
Tell him to listen to less generic ass shit or something
>>344741823
The most awkward shit that happened between me and my mum was when she looked under my mattress and saw my hardcore femdom/giantess self made porn. I was like 16, went to plat MTG with friends in the park with my "going out without cleaning the room" card expired.
My mam didn't talk to me about it, but she looked into the damn book she did.
>>344756321
>your post
>>344756309
I fucking hate normalfags, zero consideration for anyone else.
>>344756946
>your post
I remember showing my father how to search for *.jpg and sorts in winxp on our family pc. That was the day i looked for a image viewer that can deal with missing filename extension.
It wasn't nice to show my whole family my hardcore tentaclerape hentai collection. Didn't expect him to just let it open for all to see.
>playing Dota2
>mommy call me
>"Hey anon, could you make those coffee profiteroles again?"
>"But mom I am in the midle of..."
>"YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAMES"
>"O-ok"
>low priority
>>344756051
Still 99% assholes
Most of them being 'native'
And yeah Merkel is a bitch
Also back to /pol/
>>344755749
Ehm...we got Mickey D's here, too, pal
>>344744953
>having a job to be "a productive member of society"
You got played by da system.
>>344747339
I'm on the same boat. 20 here.
I would occasionally dream of fucking my mom hardcore. I wake up feeling weird and grossed out.
Also yeah every time we go out people think she's either my date or sister. She's look way to young for her age, but I mostly blame it theArm-Locking thing she does when we walk to places
>>344742429
>be 13
>browsing porn before school
>dad walks in
>image just happened to be a fairly vanilla drawing of Lara Croft posing topless
>he gives an approving nod before telling me to make sure I'm upstairs in 10 minutes
>mfw the previous and next image were tentacle porn shit
>>344741925
My parents knock but my little brother doesnt and it bugs the shit out of me since I always knock on his door.And even then I somehow always almost catch him jacking off
>>344745197
Im not attracted to my mom even though I have a mom/son fetish I would never fuck her.
>>344741925
>>344742429
>>344744507
>>344744902
>>344745075
>>344745197
Do your doors have locks?
I'm from a shit country very third world so I don't have one. But I know there exist a thing used to keep the door close until you open it yourself. I thought it's a standard in first world's doors.
>insulting your own mother
is this what americans do
>fully immersed while playing Oblivion
>door closed
>KNOCK KNOCK
>it'sKnuckles
>>344758380
Typically, locking your door just leads to more trouble, if there even is a lock. If you lock it, they want to know why it was locked, even though everyone knows and it's fucking awkward and embarrassing.
>>344758443
Only the most spoiled of white kids.
>>344758380
My parents think i'll lock myself in forever and die.
>>344741925
>>344742429
>>344744507
>>344744902
>>344745075
>>344745197
>>344758380
The key to my door was lost like 10 years before I was born.
But still, my parents got the decency to wait until I opened the door.
>>344758380
most parents tend to put their kids in rooms without locks so they can't fap away endlessly
>>344744953
>being a wagecuck
lmao cucked to the max
>>344758249
>dad gave 13-year-old you 10 mins to fap and finish
Wow he sure was generous wasn't he
>>344758443
yeah americans love doing this shit
they love jerking off to and insulting their mums
>>344758573
only the spoiled ones don't get slapped back for it
>>344759169
Are you a sub? You'd prefer to jerk off while your mum insults you?
>>344759169
>>344760163
>mum
>>344761057
>husband's nephew
>non blood related aunt
Vanilla as fuck
