>you play original Metroid and Super Metroid
>you fall into hibernation for 20 years
>you wake up and see this
How do you react?
I haven't wanked in 20 years, I'm in for a fun ol time
>>343790046
"Wow they covered her up more?"
I think I'd be more mad that after 20 years, there was only 8 more Metroid games for me to play.
>>343790489
>20 years
>>343790046
"grown men play this competitively?"
>>343790809
read the OP retard
>>343790673
this
it's way more than what she had on under there before
>>343790046
Probably try to catch up on what I missed during 20 years
Then jack off
A lot.
>>343790872
>not hiring a whore to suck your dick while you hibernate
ya ok buddy, im the retard
>>343791007
>paying a whore to suck you off when you can't feel it
>>343791007
Yes you are.
>>343791114
>>343791145
ya ok whatever. I'LL be getting that blowjob while you fags fucking sleep or whatever you do during hibernation
>>343790046
To be honest, the only really bad thing about modern Samus is her heels. They're a fucking eyesore and look incredibly out of place.
Her bubble butt, while sexy, is also a bit out of place, although a distant second to those rubbish heels.
>>343790046
i go on /v/ and ask for lewds
>>343790673
They never showed her backside in the old games, though.
What does Samus' butt smell like?
>>343793148
Farts
>>343793148
Pork.
>>343793503
>Pork
>not Chicken
>>343793148
shit and piss
>>343793618
Chicken does not have a high level of body fat.
>>343793975
You're not getting the joke.
>>343794617
I do, I'm just tired of the old bird gene jokes.
>samus isn't allowed to be the protagonist unless she's being sexualized!
I realize that Prime was the best Metroid game because you never see her in a stupid skimpy outfit. Not even Super has that privilege.
>>343790046
Samus is a girl?
>>343795083
nice meme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGK1F8Dq7cg
this would trigger me more, and it did.
>>343795083
Does that look like a man to you?
>>343790046
plays metroid II
>>343790046
Prime would be way worse of a shock
>>343790046
DEM BIG ASS
>fap to death
>>343795061
>samus isn't allowed to be sexualized!
>>343798131
>m-muh 2d
>They censored Samus? Where is her bikini? Fucking SJWs in my vidya!
>>343797148
I've seen men like that.
Indifference? I mean I'd already seen this.
>>343791479
Just can't admit that you dun goofed, huh?
>>343798131
You mean much more of a wonderful surprise.
>>343798363
>Samus
>big ass
Maybe if you compare to your folders of 12 year old boys.
>>343790046
I would wonder when she got a blue bodysuit instead of a purple leotard.
>>343799175
Why is her hand green?
>>343790046
>create perfect Zero Suit in Zero Mission
>ruin it by adding another shade of blue
>ruin it by adding random patterns
>ruin it by adding shitty heels
>ruin it by adding Tron lights
>>343799379
Because the pistol was added with the Zero Suit.
Originally she had this on her arm even without her armor on.
>>343799379
It's a topaz hook because space pirates 'n' stuff
WHAT?
METROID IS A WOMAN???
>>343799592
blame Sakurai
also don't forget muh beauty mark
>>343799592
>ruin it by adding random patterns
You mean you're butt hurt because they removed the sexist thong pattern that was present in Zero Mission?
>>343799789
THIS SHOCKING AND REVELATORY NEWS IS ENOUGH TO MAKE A GROWN MAN BECOME A PORN STAR
>>343790046
Read it as how do you erect?
That's how I react.
>>343799789
What if Halo was a girl?
>>343790046
Start asking why Link's hair isn't brown anymore.
>>343790046
>This is a video game?
>GRAPHICS LOOK LIKE THIS NOW?!
If I was out for 20 years I've missed some really important shit, so ignoring the fact that video games wouldn't be priority number one at that moment anything I touch will be awesome.
>>343799938
>removed the sexist thong pattern
You mean the same stitching pattern that is used in real life women's protective clothing?
>>343800585
With the exception that those clothes don't ride up a woman's ass.
Samus's zero suit does. And with the thong pattern, it makes it look just as if she was wearing a thong.
BTW, that stitching pattern is sexist, too. There's absolutely no reason to shape it like a thong.
>>343793148
Ass doesn't smell like shit or piss, unless she isn't clean. It also doesn't smell like farts unless she just farted
>>343800978
If you think leather motorcycle pants do not ride up into the ass you have never seen anyone wear them,
And that stitching has been around for longer than thong underwear has been commonly worn. It allows for the leather to be pulled tight over the top of the hips instead of across the ass, making it less likely to get dragged off in an accident.
You assuming that the pattern is just for looks is the only thing sexist here.
>>343801626
So much bullshit in one post. Show me a pic with motorcycle pants which rides up a woman's butt the same way the zero suit rides up Samus's fat ass.
>>343800446
Dude. 20 years!? Everything will be alien as fuck.
>Smart Phones are literal computers
>Internet
>Videogames
>Movies
I think that person might have a heart attack or something from the sheer curiosity and excitement.
>>343802012
Show me a pair of overalls that perfectly contours around a man's ass, gut, and legs like they do Mario's.
>>343803478
I want to bury my face in Marios ass
>>343803478
Samus's ass is actually fatter than Mario's.
Isn't that a little weird?
>>343803914
The only thing weird about Samus's ass is that a Swedish autist makes threads about it every single day for the last ten years.
>>343790046
metroid is a grill?
>>343799938
Her body is so fucking ridicolous here.
>>343800028
I would make porn with Samus every day if she were real.inb4 'cuck porn'
>>343790489
>20 years worth of semen made a glopping noise
>>343804793
Would you verbally humiliate her for having a fat ass?
>>343805378
>implying i'd be able to speak with a mouthful of said ass
>>343806163
Imagine your teeth sinking into that soft booty flab.
