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Only read the books and played witcher 1/2. I'm going with Eskel.
Eskel
lambert is a dick
>>342744186
Eskel, fuck all lady monsters all day.
Lambert for mad bantz
>>342744186
Lambert, he's an asshole but Eskel just seems boring.
>>342744498
He's an honest dick tho. Eskel however is a true bro.
SUMMON THE BITCHES
I WILL MARRY LAMBERT
>doing fisstech and fucking succubus
ESKEL
PARTIES
FUCKING
HARD
Eskel is the quiet type that you just know is a maniac in bed. I bet you he's got women quivvering at the knees across the globe.
>liking goat fuckers
>>342745109
Eskel is known to be THE most hung guy in Kaer Morhen, possibly one of the biggest in the world. his cock has been described as "like an Dwarf Spirit bottle", with gargantual thickness that would rival a Fiend and Jhonny. im estimating his size to be at least 8.5" bone pressed, with OVER 7" of girth. he would have absolutely destroyed the succubus's pussy.
they would have spent hours and hours on foreplay, getting herself wet enough just so she can take it. i can just imagine her begging for it, with Eskel barely able to force it past the knob, and the succubus moaning and squirming, demanding him to force it in deeper. she would have orgasm'd within seconds of taking the entire length, being filled and stretched right up to her cervix.. the orgasm would have been powerful, with her vaginal muscles clamping down on Eskel's throbbing monstrosity, her whole body quivering in euphoria..
i bet she still masturbates to the memory of it
>>342744186
Eskel.
Eskel is based. I want that jacket irl
Lambert fucked Triss.
>>342745694
uhh, wot?
>>342745694
Explain?
>>342745798
Lambert fucked Triss.
Best witcher.
>>342745757
>>342745798
Lambert talks about jumping out of a lover's window because he didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings
In Witcher 1 there are footsteps in Triss's room that lead to the window.
>>342745910
HERES YOUR LOUSY TOLL TROLL
HSSSSSSSSSSS
>>342744186
Eskel.
I won't be able to deal with Lambert's shit for one day without feeling the urge to cave his head in since he likes to whine as much as a bloody teenager.He doesn't deserve Keira.
>>342744186
Eskel best bro
I dream about friend like him
>>342745910
So does that make geralt the dayman?
Lambert for dick/dick cop duo
>>342745501
Wow, you're really passionate about cocks anon
Eskel for his hourglass figure
>>342746053
Why do their scars look so fresh?
>>342745501
I imagine length wise he is at least in double digits. 10" minimum.
>>342745501
You seem to know a lot about Eskel's cock. Are you that succubus?
>>342746236
Something to do with Witcher anatomy and the monsters that left them being cursed/venomous.
>>342746370
NOVIGRAD
O
V
I
G
R
A
D
>>342746609
I will love him no matter what. Scars or not he is best Witcher
>>342745941
>>342745757
>>342745798
Also Triss' Gwent card can be found in Lambert's bed which is not so subtle symbolism
>>342746370
>>342746197
Stop hitting on me silly Dh'oine ;)
>>342746609
what's the logic behind wielding a sword that way?
>>342745941
I don't think it's chronologically possible.
>>342746904
I think it's bugged.
>>342744186
I WANT A GAME ABOUT ESKEL
>>342747398
I want a game as Vesemir after he first becomes a witcher
>>342744186
Eskel every day.
>>342745757
>>342745798
https://www.reddit.com/r/witcher/comments/4edm0r/did_triss_and_lambert_have_a_relationship/
>>342744186
Obviously Eskel
He is the best character from witcher 3
>>342744186
Eskle
Because ultimate bro.
Lamebert sold out for a blonde bitch.
>>342746402
That your head canon? aye?
>>342746021
No one derserves Kiera
She is too perfect for this world
>>342746197
>>342746370
Why do I love Eskel so much? It's pretty simple when I think about it. Eskel isn't just the best character in the series, he might just be the greatest character of all time. Just imaging him riding through the fields of Kaedwen, the wind in his hair, his mighty steed below him. As he rides through the white mountains, the ladies swoon at his very scent. They know how he smells, the essence of his smell is sold in Novigrad under the the name of "Cateye Orgasm". The very nature of Eskel is mystery. Could he be playing a deeper game than even Saplpwski realizes? The answer is yes, he has transcended such boundaries of the written world, and has free will to do whatever he sees fit. However, Eskel is filled with such guile, such arcane craft that he does not even use these powers. Why, you might ask? You will never know, for the mind of the Eskel is not one that is easily penetrated. Eskel is such a force of nature in his realm that nothing can truly touch him, the only thing keeping him bound to the page at all is his will to exist within the preordained boundaries of his world. Eskel is not only beyond the comprehension of us, he exists within a plane of true focus and beauty. Observe his playful smile, his gorgeous and rippling biceps, his gallant nose, and most importantly, his eyes. His eyes, like pools of amber, provide the only glimpse into the true machinations of Eskel. Do not stare into them. Many good men have gone mad in the attempt. Eskel is not just a character, a formless collection of words and images, he is himself is the binding that holds the saga together. Without Eskel, the entire series, the entire world of North as we know it crumbles. The Pontar would stop flowing without Eskel, the Temeria would become a desolate crater, and the White Frost would melt without his frosty gaze. These are just of the few of the reasons why I like Eskel so much.
>>342747783
50/50 I think part of it is mentioned in the game somewhere. The rest was me just making logical conclusions.
>>342747805
The wooden stake does
>>342744186
Eskel, probably a better fighter and hes the best bro
>we will never get a game with Geralt, Lambert, Eskel, and Letho getting together for a big contract
>we will never go to Ofier and kill monsters with best bros and fuck sorceresses
>>342748034
You were just a fuck! He doesn't give a shit about you, Succubus! He isn't coming back.
So what happens to Eskel after TW3?
Lambert goes off with Kiera but Eskel just disappears after the Kaer Morhen sequence.
>>342748103
Cool story bro.
>>342746370
pls b in oxenfurt
>>342744186
I choose Letho.
>>342748276
He stays at Kaer Morhen to take over whatever duties Vesemir did before he got wild hunted.
>>342747516
That would be cool too.
>>342748228
DELETE THIS
LAMBERT LAMBERT WHAT A PRICK
Letho is the best bro.
Fact
>>342746904
it "looks" cooler
>>342748484
Is that in the in-game glossary?
Kinda sucks that we don't get a Geralt/Dandelion narrated sequence like Keira and Lambert do.
>>342745501
I don't know, anon-kun. Looks like Geralt's got him beat.
>>342748258
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Kaer Morhen, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Wild Hunt, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top Witcher in the entire Vasemir class. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Megascope? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Novigrad and your Location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, whoreson. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Witcher Wolf School and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>342746904
>>342747340
It's not bugged, I remember this cinematic. He's using his sword like a reverse gripped knife, probably to throw them off because it's so unusual.
>>342748484
>>342748276
I don't know if it can differ from game to game, but at Vesemir's funeral in my playthrough Eskel said it was time to move on from Kaer Morhen since it's basically a ruin at this point, and that he was leaving immediately.
>>342748814
LAMBERT BTFO
>fag asshole
or
>ugly as fuck true bro
i choose suicide tbqh
can witchers even kill themselves
>>342748228
You monster.
SUMMON THE BITCHES
>>342748962
Why couldn't they?
Eskel.
Lambert is an autistic fucknut who screams when shit doesn't go his way.
>>342748580
>>342748753
my lethobros
>>342745910
Heh.
>>342749075
I never read the books so I wouldn't know if there's some canon pokemon type shit going on where they can only faint
>>342748814
I never got how this worked shit out desu.
>>342748798
Actually Eskel says that he will never return tl Kaer Morhen after what happened there and rides north to set up a permanant camp. If you chose to keep Letho alive he stays there, but if he's dead it remains abandoned forever.
>>342749203
Nah, witchers can be killed quite "normally". They're just really fucking hard to kill, though.
You can kill a few witchers in TW3 too. You should know that, anon.
>>342748875
This made me laugh more than it should have
>>342748875
>Gorilla
>not Squirrel warfare
>>342744186
lambert, gotta love that fucking guy
>>342744186
Lambert is a gigantic asshole and I can't believe he and Kiera are a canon couple.
>>342748875
Not enough drowner references
>>342749248
I believe it depends on your choices. You can get several people to stay at Kaer Morhen and get it set up again.
>>342749441
Kiera is a giant asshole too
>>342744498
Lambert, Lambert what a prick.
>>342749441
>I can't believe two giant assholes love each other
>>342749557
Polish version did it better
LAMBERT LAMBERT
TY CHUJU
>>342749203
But Pokemon can die. There is graveyards and shit, anon.
As for Witchers, yes? The reason they're so few is they die eventually, it's incredibly rare for them to reach Geralt's age, let alone Vesmirs. In fact, Geralt outright says that the Witcher's Code doesn't allow for in-fighting between Witchers. I don't think it does say that, but it's a thing he does because it doesn't matter.
There are three Witchers you can kill in Witcher series. Berengar (he dies in Azar Javed boss fight, but if you're skilled enough, you can beat him without him dying, he only has a single line). The Cat Assassin that Lambert has beef with. The OTHER Cat Assassin who murdered the entire village after the men tried to murder him.
I let them all live. There is no point, Geralt has no right to judge.
How the fuck did CDPR manage to turn the fucking Devil himself into such a qt?
>>342749671
His voice is super comfy, quite befitting I suppose.
>>342749634
You can also kill Letho at the end of W2
>>342744186
Eskel is stealing Triss away when Geralts canonically ends up with Yennefer
>>342748875
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little drowner? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Kaer Morhen, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Wild Hunt, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in squirrel warfare and I’m the top Witcher in the entire Vesemir class. You are nothing to me but just another witcher contract. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Continent, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Megascope? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Novigrad and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, whoreson. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, scumbag. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Witcher Wolf School and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit Igni all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>342745694
So did Eskel.
>>342746904
He's using the momentum of his spins to greatly affect the strikes of the sword. In reality, his wrist would be fucked.
>>342749671
I want to bake cookies with Master Mirror.
>>342749525
>>342749601
Kiera wasn't a bitch, she was just high-maintenance.
>>342749834
How did I forget? Was thinking I was so clever remembering the retired Witcher trader that I forgot about Letho.
>yfw Roche and Ves get mad if they come to Kaer Mohren fight if he's alive
>>342749619
Every time I hear Polish Witcher I have a hard time thinking the voice actors are better. Especially when it comes to Geralt's voice. In Polish he sounds like a regular dude, but I also don't speak Polish.
>>342749671
>>342749939
I never did the DLC. I need to load up my save prior to heading off to the final boss fights so I can clear the DLC and actually have fun with the items you get. Post game is kinda pointless.
They'd both go through hell for Geralt, but Elkel trained with him. He's also a better swordsman than Lambert. And he works hard and parties fucking hard.
>ywn have a huge contract involving the three as they bantz their way through a contract.
>>342744186
Thats a really tough one.
Eskel seems extremely boring to hang out with while Lambert is a giant dick and cucked Geralt.
>>342750014
Also you forgot about the cat assassin that Geralt kills by default at the end of W1
>>342750047
What? Polish VA is a lot better. I tried playing TW3 in English but it just sucked, and Geralt sounded like a mixture of Batman and someone who tries to be edgy at all times.
But it could be because I'm too used to his voice from previous games. Besides, some shit was translated differently.
For example RADOVID SUCKS FLACCID COCK - Radowid to stara kurwa. Completely different meaning.
>>342744498
A glorious dick.
>>342750164Eskel's the cutest too
Pick a Witcherbro:
>Vesemir
>One if not the best Witcher of his time
>Literally several lives of experience
>Wise
>Stronk despite his age
>Know anything and everything about all monsters
>Know everythings about swordmanship
>Out-fucking-skilled both Hitlerith and Eredin, lost because he decided to sacrifice himself for Ciri
>Will warnpesteryou about the danger of Gwent and Booze
>Your Uncle
>Geralt
>Legendary Witcher
>Believed to be the best swordsman in the North
>Loyal friend
>Will play Gwent
>Willing to risk his own neck for you
>Will provide expertise for monsters, curses, AND women
>Sorceressophile
>Eskel
>Master witcher
>As good with a sword as Geralt
>Comprehensive and loyal friend
>Good drinking buddy
>Sucker for women with horns
>Summon the bitches
>Lambert
>Excellent Witcher
>Tsundere
>Will prepare booze from potatos
>Play Gwent
>Can be angsty
>Will be angsty
>Is a prick
>Someone think of something good with him because I sure as fuck can't
>>342750137
Both DLCs are post game levelled. Blood and Wine goes past level 40 with its quests.
>>342749671
I'm glad he had a reference in BaW too. I haven't played the two simultaneously though, I wonder if there's some kind of reference to the curse he put if you're doing that quest alongside HoS?
>>342749896
Has anyone not fucked Triss? Did Vesemir fuck her?
>>342750223
>Radowid to stara kurwa
>Radovid's an old whore
I mean, old whores would suck the cocks of old men, and old men are notoriously impotent.
>>342750179
Eskel fucked a succubus while doing fisstech. He's a consummate professional but when he winds down he winds down hard.
>>342749894
>drown in it
>not drowner in it
>use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass
>not use it to whip your ass like a Novigrad whore
>>342745501
>people not recognizing a classic pasta
Neo-/v/ everyone
>>342750307
>miss the note about the beggar being a merchant of mirrors
>that last cutscene if you cure the Wight
>realize what the music is
>>342744186
Eskel bro,im totally fine with lambert getting sloppy seconds from that witch
>regisis alive and well
>no mention of their other friends, not even when he and Geralt are contemplating their friends
this was some bullshit desu
Hey Faggots,
My name is Eskel, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on nude portraits.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Witcher team, and starter on my Scoia'tel team. What battles do you fight, other than “jack off to naked drawn Skellige people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch
>>342744498
/thread
I hate Lambert, he's constantly whining about how the world and everyone has been so bad to him blablabla and keeps being a dick even to Vesemir. So fuck him.
>>342750402
Did you not notice all the pasta in response to it?
I hope CDPR does just a good job with Cyberpunk
>>342749634
>>342749834
the two guys helping letho, plus the assassin in the ending of witcher 1 are witchers too
also, there's that burned mad witcher in witcher 3
>>342750482
>tfw didn't realize what the music is because I never paid attention to it
I mean, the music is god tier but I would not fucking recognize it.
>>342747805
>manipulates and betrays one of the only people in the region still friendly with magic users
>her master plan is "grovel my witch ass before the king of the witch hunters, surely this can't go wrong"
Too stupid for this world maybe
>>342750641
Hearts of Stone has a really bitching OST so I couldn't help but listen to it. The leitmotif from A Gifted Man Brings Gifts Galore is so damn good.
We will never have a Vesemir prequel where he
> fucked Ida.
> fucked Francesca Findabair.
> fucked Bloody Falka.
> is the guy who beats Gaunter O'Dimm before Geralt
> helped the dragons escape
all the while wearing his pimp hat.
>>342750280
Bit odd. I did every single quest prior to the final one and I'm like 30 odd.
>>342750847
*tips hat*
>>342750769
Yeah, whole game has a god tier soundtrack. But fuck me, I would not know it's from this place if it didn't hit me straight in the face.
FUCK THAT PAINTED WORLD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>342750969
Well with the main storyline you will level up a crap ton in the last bit of the game.
I wish you could play the entire game as Geralt possessed by Vlodimir, that entire wedding party quest was the most fun thing in the game
>>342750250
letho
>>342751258
How about a game about Geralt being possessed byDandelion
>>342750495
They mention Cahir elsewhere in the DLC. When you're signing up for the tournament, if you say Ravix of Fourhorn, Geralt recounts the day the two of them fought at the Battle of the Bridge.
Don't think Milva or Angoulme get brought up though.
>>342751008
>tfw no options to wear Vesemirs hat
Atleast I got the sunglasses
>>342750969
>tfw exploited that glitched Skellige quest to get enough exp for mastercrafted armor before finishing the game
>>342751258
I felt the complete opposite. It felt like repetitive trash. I couldn't wait to get that fucking dumbass ghost back into the grave.
Didn't Eskel kill a High Vampire?
>>342751371
Oh yeah, forgot about that. I guess I just expected more, considering how friendship was such a big theme in the story.
And especially considering that Geralt felt responsible for what happened to them all in their confronting Vilgefortz.
>>342751410
>Vesemirs Hat
>Sunglasses
>Ursine Armour
>Maxed out Igni
All i need now is some 1000 times folded katana
That place felt eery as all fuck, anyone else got the creep from it?Couldn't find a better picture.
>>342751487
What was repetitive about it? the varied character interaction? The irony of a man like Vlordimir using Geralt as a catalyst for his degeneracy?
>>342751487
>not getting the ears
Wish they would do more games in middle Ages Setting since it's my favourite setting.
>>342746609
>>342748768
It does look pretty fucking cool.
You can have two people just pointing swords at each other and taking jabs cautiously like people mostly did it but be real that's not Witcher and the animations are pretty fucking rad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru_HWfo7DvY
>>342751412
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOosHUIG9Mw
That is hilarious!
>>342752324
Eskel is cute. CUTE.
>>342744186
>All this love for Eskel
He's a real champ.
>>342752146
All of them did. Pretty good segment too.
>>342750847
>is the guy who beats Gaunter O'Dimm before Geralt
For real?
>>342752146
Fuck that goddamn blizzard world
>>342746236
Some scars always look like that.
The beginning of Witcher 1 when Geralt is running from the Wild hunt, he's found by eskel and vesemir isnt he?
Im replaying witcher 2 atm and during the dream geralt has of that very scene^^ it looks to me like lambert and berengar are the ones who find him? whats up with that?
>>342750482
>that last cutscene if you cure the Wight
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Lambert Lambert what a prick
>>342753751
No, but it would've been cool that the guy the Professor mentioned to have beaten Master Mirror hundreds of years ago to be Vesemir.
>>342749203
In the books, Geralt was killed at the end of the series by some random peasant with a pitchfork. He even mentions in Witcher 2 about how he died such a mundane death.
>>342754378
Who knows, maybe they didn't want to bother too much with the models since they don't show up in the game.
>>342748875
Radovid's getting crazier by the minute.
>>342744186
who dat
>>342749634
The other cat assassin is a stray bullet, man. he has to be put down.
if you decide to confront him, geralt asked him just how many times he has gone in a murder rampage before this one, because this one isn't clearly his first. he says that he rather dies before confessing anything.
>>342757047
>>342749634
Geralt does have a right to judge when it comes to the reputation of Witchers. People already are on edge and many of them are hated. A stray witcher going around killing villagers isn't something he can ignore.
>>342747783
part of the trial of grasses not yet maturing.
>>342749416
that hat was a memento lambert !
>>342757047
villagers attacked him, he went ballistic
not geralt's job
>>342757047
geralt did the same thing in blavikin
>>342750250
This makes me wish for a Witcher with custom character creator where I can hang out with all the cool Witchers and the Blue Stripes (maybe the Scioa'tel too just don't tell Broche)
Well, at least for now I haveSkyrim mods
>tfw Countess Mignole asks me if Vesemir is okay
>>342757047
>Butcher of Blaviken
Geralt did the same. He would've been a massive hypocrite if he killed Gaetan for defending himself.
Haven't played any Witcher game but the guy on the left looks more trustworthy so I'll vote him.How wrong am I
>>342758215
>>342758443
Geralt killed bandits in Blaviken to stop them from killing the whole village, to the villagers it looked like a massacre. That's where the nickname comes from.
>>342744186
Eskel is best side witcher bro. Lambert is a pissy prick.
>>342758601
What makes you say that?
He sold mirrors
>>342758601
Completely wrong.
Left guy is asshole and right guy is polite
>>342758601
They're both trustworthy.
>>342758696
the villagers tried to kill that cat witcher because he wanted less than 50 gold for killing a fucking Leshen
he defended himself and lost it
>>342758696
This. He only killed few guys, and those bandits he killed were about to kill all people in the town...
so in other words Geralt actually saved Blaviken
>>342758917
Yeah, I know that, but I was just correcting the people who thought geralt actually butchered Blaviken rather than saving it.
>>342758863
>he can't handle the banter
Lambert is a dick but he'd be there for you every day of the week. He's a bro through and through.
>>342744186
Can I pick neither? They were both horrible cunts.
>>342753862
The emerald dream?
>>342759281
>Eskel
>Horrible cunt
What game were you playing bro
>>342744573
>>342745010
>"I'm a sucker for a women with horns"
>Took fisstech once with a succusbus
Probably straight off of her ass and everywhere.
And hell, not only did fisstech, but fisstech booze out the ass for a vampire, likely fucking just as many girls as Geralt, and and likely much. May seem boring, but he knows how to rip it good.
Also manages to not get his ass constantly in trouble, other than when he ended up having an adoptive daughter he didn't want to know about in W1 side story.
>>342749671
>yfw when his name spells G O D
>>342750847
Only possibly two men from the Northern Realms ever beat him at his challenge: Geralt of Rivia (if he chose to challenge O'Dimm from taking Olgeird's soul) and an unknown one before him. If the challenge was of the same kind, that first man to beat him must have also been highly trained in combat, since a Witcher had difficulties facing the wandering shade demons in O'Dimm's plane. However, the first man to beat him could have faced an entirely different challenge.
Lambert
>Whiny, immature, all around obnoxious crybaby
Eskel
>Total bro
Who in their right mind would pick Lambert
>>342750207
Thought that was one of the Vipers, not cat
>>342750349
Likely. Vesimir was pretty much like her dad, and she his daughter.
>>342747783
Im actually pretty sure that is the reason, its in the back of my mind somewhere
>>342744186
Lambert may be a genius, but Eskel is a bigger bro.
Do you think Kiera and Lambert were faithful to each other?
>>342744186
Lambert is emo as fuck.
>>342762650
Why would anyone be faithful to an obnoxious cunt like Lambert.
>>342746904
It's from places like Japan where swords were curved and more for slashing then stabbing. If you swing it like that you have more power behind the cut. How ever with a long sword like his its really not a good idea because the blade isn't curved and only a small part of the blade will actually hit.
>>342746236
mutations and stuff
Hey guys, I'm playing a level 16 witcher. I just had the romance scene with Triss in Novigrad. Roughly what percentage am I through the game?
NO ONE'S SLICK LIKE GASTON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk54SM6ZrrA
>implying the lake dialogue with Lambert didn't make him the best witcher
>>342764164
'bout 50% of main quests
>>342764164
>romanced Triss
Oh anon...
>>342765261
Why is she so perfect
>>342766086
Magic
>>342766086
I wonderwhat he anus smell like
>>342766306
Lilac and dingleberries
Lambert actually has a personality, and would be great for his own game if they could come up with something good.
Eskel is boring but a much more powerful character
>>342748228
Don't play the witcher 3. The fuck happened here
>>342766554
That's what happens to sorceresses under Mad Rad the Sad Lad
>>342766086
>Striking eyes without being piercing.
>Eyes not too big nor too small that's complemented by sharp eyebrows and heavy mascara to make eyes more striking.
>Thin nose prevents the focus from going away from the eyes.
>Thin lips that, with the narrow eyes, goes perfectly with her raven hair give her a contemptuous look.
>Pale skin makes the details of her eyes even more striking especially with the raven hair.
>A strong yet smooth jawline also reinforced the bitchy look since it gave her a resting bitch face.
All in all her best attribute is her eyes. Her whole face works around those eyes.
>>342750532
that meme is so old, it was written to that memewall in Pompeii.
Lambert had a hard life.
Wonder what happened to Geralt's mother.
>>342750250
>Will play Gwent
Sold.
>why bother with this charade when you were just going to kill me?
>because unlike you I give people a chance to explain themselves before I kill them
JUSTICE BONER AT MAXIMUM POWER
>>342767384pretty sure she tends to his wounds in one of the short stories, she's a sorceress.Geralt asks her how she likes his new eyes.
>>342767616
Yeah, but he was tripping balls on black gull.
>>342767616
>sorceress
>mother
I thought they were infertile.
>>342767423
>"Please go easy on me Geralt, I'm just starting out and my deck's incomplete."
>"Sure thing, I'll use an easy deck against you."
>Uses Northern Realm Clear Weather Foltest, Djikstra, Stennis, Thaler, Mysterious Elf, Villentretenmerth, Dun Banner Medic, 2 catapults, 4 Blue Stripes, 2 Reavers, the rest are legendaries.
>Owns you 0/120 and 0/150
>Lost your last 20 gold, spirits crushed and gave your best card.
>"How about a game of Gwent? That oughta set me straight."
>You inexplicably agreed.
Yeah no thank you, I'd like to keep my stuff.
>>342766554this is a sorceress that sent you to a cursed tower to get some notes about a plague cure. If you fuck up her dialogue at the end of the quest, she tries to go to the city and beg the king, who is hunting witches, to spare her in order to complete the cure.
pic related is the result
>>342767694
Yeah I always assumed it was a case of unreliable narrator because of what was mentioned by >>342767971
>>342749634
>In fact, Geralt outright says that the Witcher's Code doesn't allow for in-fighting between Witchers. I don't think it does say that, but it's a thing he does because it doesn't matter.
Considering the Witcher's Code doesn't exist and it's just Geralt's go-to excuse for when he doesn't feel like taking a particular job, I would say it doesn't say that, no.
>>342768216
It's mentioned by Tissaia that most sorceresses and sorcerers are sterile but a very tiny amount sorceresses can have children and Geralt's mom happened to be one. Vilgefortz and Nenneke literally confirm this and we find out that Vilgefortz himself is a child of one of these select few.
>>342767971
>>342768216
Not all. The books mention that magic can fuck you up, but in some casesMUTATIONShappen and the woman can still be fertile.
>>342768518
I'm pretty sure Witcher's Code is something that might exist or might not exist. Both Dandelion and Geralt say that there might've once been a witcher code, but Geralt is just making a new one up as he goes.
>>342744186
Even tho Lambert is amazing, and has top tier bantz i would have to go with Eskel. But it is a close one. They both feel like brother material.
>>342746904
There is no logic in witcher sword fights. Sapkowski wanted to write cool sword fights when he had no idea how sword fighting works, and they translated that into a game.
>>342767971
It was explained in the books, magic makes one infertile, but it can be reversed by magic.
And that in turn will create magical bastards or gifted retards.
Or in case of Geralt, a child that can take further mutations than any other witcher.
>>342749502
>several
Only Letho.
>>342768756
>but no one's ever compiled a witcher's code. I invented mine.
He admits to making a code to seem more prestigious and to also avoid doing jobs he didn't want to do.
>>342768216
>>342767971
Sometimes a sorceress can have children. Some of the most powerful Lodge members are descendant of great sorcerors.
Yennefer's life work is to be able to sire a child with Geralt.
>>342744186
grey one on the left
i say knowing nothing about even what game this is
>>342767532
When does this line occur? B&W?
>>342769173
There is no cure for reversing a sorceress infertility in the books. Yen spent her whole life trying to find one and never found one. Nenneke confirms. Now you can reverse normal infertility in the books as Yen as done so but the damage done to the mages cannot be undone.
>>342769054
Actually Sapkowski didn't describe Witcher combat in a stupid manner.
He described it as seemingly flamboyant way to fight with large arcs and agile movements, which makes sense for two reasons.
1. you can not afford to shatter your silver sword, when fighting monsters, so you need to be able to direct attacks in a more or less one hit kill manner.
2. Witchers can swing swords faster than normal humans and more accurately, which means the stupid flamboyant way of fighting works as an advantage against enemies. Whirl for example is how the fighting was described in the books.
>>342744186
Reminder hat berenger did nothing wrong but is still fated to die
>>342769573
>Whirl is how fighting is described in the books
So fucking stupid, huh?
>>342769535
>There is no cure for reversing a sorceress infertility in the books.
Not true, there was a snippet over the effects of sorceresses becoming pregnant, and it ended with some sorceress saying she demands the sterilization of all magic students.
How good is the replayability for witcher 3? Kinda want to play the new DLCs but haven't played since a few weeks after launch so I would have to start a new gameAlso I got the worst ending possible
>>342744186
Dunno what game this is, but going solely of that pic, guy on the right. Dude on the left looks like a pompous prick where as the dude on the right looks like he lost a fight with a bear. If he's a dick, at least he looks like he has a reason to be. Also dude on the left looks like he'd stab me in the back after whatever choice you're proposing.
>>342769867
You can skip the main game and play DLC. They give you that option when you start a new game now.
Did it for Heart because I didn't have my original save.
I actually dreamed of playing a witcher game as Eskel and having tons of fun
>>342769516
Where the Wolf and the Cat Play, it was part of the free DLC.Cat School Witcher takes on Leshen job, town tries to cheat him out of his reward, Witcher threatens townsfolk with bodily harm if they don't pay up, mayor and a couple compatriots lead Witcher into barn with promises of pay and try to murder him, Witcher massacres the whole town but spares little girl who reminds him of his sister who died of old age.
>>342770029
Ah, I've done that quest before. Always let the Witcher go.
>>342748814
the fuck is this
>>342770141
>letting a cat school psychopath loose
nigga you best be jestin'
Just playing through Blood & Wine. What the fuck is wrong with this bird bitch, I feel super bad for her and just want her to be okay and marry the knight dude.
>>342766347
Good shit, anon
>>342770141
First time I killed him. Second time I let him go. The stash he had, with all the trophies, makes me think he was tricking people
>>342770367
No. I don't remember the exact details of the quest, but I do remember being swayed by what he said after he explained himself. Didn't think he deserved death.
>>342770485
Why would she marry the knight?
>>342770750
>tricking people
Why did you think that? Geralt has several trophies of his own, just not mounted.
>>342769869
The guy on the left is an asshole, but a loyal asshole with a sense of humor.
>>342770567
That fucking vendor.
>>342746609
JUST LIKE MY JAPANESE ANIMES
>>342768085
>Please go easy on me Geralt
>>342770940
So the same thing happened to you? Being teleported to another area was pretty creepy
>>342770323
http://en.inkei.net/
>>342771058
what, how?
>>342769725
Tissaia was talking about how some sorceresses can have children which is true their glands mutate and survive the damage that is done to them. They don't get healed or anything they simply just mutate during the process of using magic. They don't know why or how this happens. Tissaia commands that all sorceresses be sterilized to avoid the chance of this happening even though it is already very low.
>>342771526
Console commands. You can add however many copies of a card to your deck as you want.
Using a monster deck is fucking hilarious. Once, I played a siege monster, which when played had all its copy cards placed on the field. My game froze for about 10 seconds, then proceeded to make an "explosion" noise when all played at once.
>>342744186
eskel is a bro that passed the trials with Geralt
he is his ONE true friend
lambert is a whiny prick that helps sometimes because they are in the same 'organisation'
>>342771813
That sounds stupid.
>>342749126
FILTHY LETHO LOVING WHORESONS
TEMERIA WILL RISE AGAIN
>>342771813
Why the fuck wouldn't you use the Catapult cards and Commando for massive chains?
>>342772469
I guess because muster cards all come out in one turn.
>>342749939
We can arrange that. Would you be willing to...pay?
>>342772196
reminder that Foltest sent assassin's after Ciri to have her killed
Letho literally did nothing wrong.
>>342744186
Medieval Pritchard.
>>342750358
kurwa has more meanings than just whore
it's a mix of fuck, whore, bitch, damn and some other curse words. It's one of the heaviest caliber words you can use to offend
>>342751371
you got that mixed up
if you decide to go Geralt of Rivia, then he will recount the events of the battle on the bridge, because that's when he was knighted with that name
>>342752146
through time and space was the best quest of witcher 3 hands down. or at least the most entertaining one
man, I want more of that stuff
>>342758336
fun fact, if you do the DLC before the battle then the dialogue changes. Go replay
>>342772808
Additional reminder that Foltest sired a daughter with his sister
>>342773185
Man there were so many references to the books in this expansion it was great but I was a little sad that we never got a scene of Geralt and Regis talking about the hansa. The closet we got was Geralt saying sorry to Regis and then them talking about what happened to Vilgefortz but I don't recall Regis ever talking about milva, cahir, or angouleme.
>>342769716
extremely fats, deadly and effective is the opposite of stupid, but whatever floats your boat mate
>>342773912
>extremely fats
You described it perfectly, thank you.
Yes, showing your back to your opponent so you can twirl around like a ballerina is extremely stupid in a sword fight.
>>342774048
you know what I meant
when you are fast enough then it doesn't matter
why does your suspension of belief work on magci, monsters and world hopping, but not on mutated master-sworsmen with reflexes fast as lightning? It all does make sense in-universe
>>342773820
additional reminder that Foltest was a pussy and wanted to retreat at Brenna but it was based John Natalis who brushed him off and won the battle and also chased down the Nilfgaard and pushed them across the Yaruga.
>John won the battles
>Dijkstra busted his ass securing the gold and supplies
>the kings take all the credit for resisting Nilfgaard
Life isn't fair.
>>342774261
that;s how governments work anon
also, Natalis at least got his recognition as a master tactician and top tier general, meanwhile, dijkstra got broken legs and assasins sent after him
>>342774236
>when you are fast enough then it doesn't matter
Course it does. Because Geralt isn't fast enough. All you'd have to do is play the game to know that.
>but not on mutated master-sworsmen with reflexes fast as lightning?
Keep dreaming. Geralt gets punched and shoved in cutscene a few times, and combat alone proves that this isn't a true claim.
>>342774448
God bless Mad Rad
>>342774549
Fuck off with this weak ass troll.
>>342774689
it was Filippas working, you'd know that if you'd pay attention to theassassination plotor books
Played through Witcher 2 and 3, enjoyed them both greatly, now I just started Witcher 1. The combat system is a bit odd, but I'm adjusting to it.
>>342774725
It's great that you have no capacity for argument that your third response is to call troll.
So I've just picked up B&W after not playing for a while. I'm in some sort of crypt and I can hear a woman and a man screaming and hitting things, anyone know what the fuck this is about? It's creeping me the fuck out and I appear to be lost in the catacombs.
>>342769869
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jls8boIDo5I
Both are bro as fuck, which is what makes OP's proposition so difficult.
>>342774448
Djikstra was the one character that got fucked over the most.
>Geralt snapped his leg at Thanedd
>His waifu who happened to be also a dear friend betrays him and killed his beloved king and also had to have him killed
>forced to flee the Northern kingdoms and his beloved country that he helped make great with nothing
He won the war but received nothing for his efforts. Poor bastard but then again I guess no one got a happy ending in the books.
>>342774931
It's a quest, I think it was from a guy in a bar or from the notice board, can't remember what starts it exactly, but the guy's in a bar.
>>342774971
One of my favorite scenes from the game, up there with the wedding in HoS and the bank quest in B&W
No idea who either of these are but I go for the dude on the left. Guy of the left looks like a total douchebag but the guy on the right looks like an edgelord. I cant stand edgy cunts
>>342744186
the one on the left was a whiny little bitch with a horrible voice actor and the dude on the right was completely forgettable. i pick vesimir
>>342774931
It's related to a quest
>>342774689
Honestly Rad is some super genius according to lore. He has to be. How he managed to hold off Nilfgaard with limited help is impressive.
>first war Nilfgaard War
>mages won it and the North was united
>second Nilgaard War
>no mages this time
>North was not as united but still there were multiple kingdoms vs Nilfgaard
>also a retarted officer failed to scout properly and fucked everything up
>third Nilfgaard War
>no mages
>all the other rulers are btfo
>Just Mad Rad vs the might of Nilfgaard
Absolute mad man.
>romanced triss the first time because she seemed nice and caring
>hated every interaction with yen
>read the books
>romanced yen in ng+
oh, i was such a fool
forgive me friends
>>342775591
How could you hate the banter and word play?
>>342774826
Maybe because you are arguing about game animation rather than about Sapkowski's fight scenes, where it is described how witcher movement (even walking) is different from a normal person.
Hell even Geralt remarks on it in game when trailing Ciri, saying how she walked different.
>>342775421
it as implied in the books that he was extremply perceptive and had his wits about him from the young age. It's just that his life led him to great madness instead of greatness. It ain't easy being a king, especially in times of strife and war. Still, what he did out of petty revenge was horrible and Vizimir would despise it.
>t. lore pro
>Skellige deck
This shit is ridiculous, Cerys card is the most overpowered hero card ever
are crossbow builds any good now with that new mutation thing
>>342774996
I wanted to pick his route but I cant have mah nigga Roche killed.
>>342776121
I mean Philippa deserved it. But he took it way too far when he went after everyone that wasn't Philippa.
>>342744186
Lambert
>>342776467
that's what I meant when I said 'petty revenge'
I mean, he did the whole witch hunting to confiscate the Orders treasury to further fuel his war machine, but hunting down every magic practitioner or even their associates when they were a key to victoryy in a war fought by your own father then you gotta be somehow fucked up in the head
>>342776757
Philippa did a wonder on him when he was young. Probably had some strange ss thing going on for a while but then he got too old and Philippa wouldn't fuck him which made him go crazy.
Is this game as great at 60 FPS as all others? I want to play the PC version but my specs are bad. Beat the PS4 version multiple times and fucking loved it.
>>342757047
There is also the insane cat witcher from the cat armor quest
>>342775315
Guy on the right is bro tier and fucks succubuses.
>>342776380
Word. That was a bitter pill to swallow.
>>342778172
Geralt did fuck a succubi too
>>342746904
>>342769054
the sword play is the worst thing about witcher 2 and 3. no impact or momentum, just little ripping sounds as geralt pirouettes around like a ribbondancer
>>342778571
>i wish everygame had a combat like darksouls!
>"you can only pick one" meme is ok
>"what did __ mean by this?" is not
4chan mods: The vanguards of hypocrisy
>>342769573
>you can not afford to shatter your silver sword
it's a steel sword plated with silver. it's not used except against monsters because everyday use would wear off the silver plating too fast and make it expensive to re-plate all the time.
>>342771813
> cheating in gwent
Git gud. This minigame is easy as fuck without cheating.
>>342778704
no, i just wish a melee combat game felt slightly more deadly than tickling enemies with a pool noodle
>>342778704
What a fatuous counter-argument. Sad!
>Wake up at Kaer Mohren
>Vesemir is complaining about the roof, again
>He spots you, lectures you about how witchers should strive to wake up early or some other inane bullshit
>You just tune out his voice and have your breakfast with his grumbles on the background
>Lambert put fiend dung ashes on the coffee pot again
>Fucking Lambert
>Yen destroyed the bed you've been eyeing for some time to re appropriate
>it was oak goddamn it
>Go down to some town nearby
>Contract!!!!
>Kill some drowners
>yay...
>some peasant girl looks at you for a moment
>you feel good, turn your head to her
>she starts walking faster while trying not to look at your scar
>go back up
>Vesemir is still complaining about the leaky roof but haven't done anything about it
>You already feel like you're going to spend all of the money you've made today just buying the material
>Yen is screaming at everyone
>Geralt comes around
>Speaks how he's been fucking Sorceresses and killing Kings, also how the killed a Zeugl that one time where
>Mental note: never ask Geralt how are things again
>You manage to hear Geralt saying he loves Lambert like a brother
>you go outside in the rain and fall asleep crying
>then Lambert makes you dress up like a woman to potentially score with some of Yen's friends that might as well be just as bitchy
>Yen catches you
>Go to sleep ashamed
>tfw Adda and Siegfried were probably both executed by Radovid by Witcher 3
>>342779753
according to the devs siegfried got the short end of the stick after TW2, but didn't die
he's probably imprisoned somewhere, or serves as an officer in the army
Lambert.
>isn't held back by muh morals
>10/10 banter
>a total pimp
>great dry sense of humor
>Yen thinks he's pretty
>just arrived at Kaer Morhen
>talk to Yen
>she teleports me to the other side of the map
That bitch.
>>342781252
I love women who are complete cunts. Like a wild horse you gotta tame.
>>342781252
wut?
>>342770750
>>342770367
>Killing one of your distant brethren
He was a witcher who was scammed and he lost his shit
I let him go because I didn't want to have to kill even more people than who had already died
Besides he will be a net good for society because he is a witcher that kills monsters that kill people
But mostly I just didn't want to spill any more blood, especially blood of the dying witcher group
>>342770367
>>342783148
The fucking idiots tried to kill a Witcher, after trying to sucker him out of his payment, the one thing everybody knows not to do.
I spared him because of that, and the fact that the player would have done the exact same thing if it had happened to them and the whole village would have aggroed.
>>342783445
only the guys in the barn attacked him, he killed everyone else for the hell of it
he would've killed the child too, if it wasnt a girl that reminded him of his sister
>>342754736
Actually it was vilgefortz
The guy that killed Regis
>>342781252
Wait when does that happen?
>>342780587
10/10 banter?
Lol. Hes a little bitch.
>>342748419
>You and your dad will never give your mom a powerpoint presentation on why PC is superior
>>342770750
damn the velen music started playing in my mind
>>342748228
psssh I just had to do her in myself. nothin personnel witch
>>342786592
>nothin personnel witch
funny.
>>342781972
>>342784731
Never gotten it myself but I do know it's possible, think you just have to be as much as an ass as she is.
>Finally play tw3
>Letho's quest "Yo come with me to kill these guys"
>"No, you were bad in tw2"
>"Ok" quest ended
fuck me thought i was rping.
Eskel is objectively the best
>Isnt balding
>Bro, not a whiny bitch who sends you across the ocean over angst for his cat school fuckboys death
>Parties like a motherfucker
>Kills monsters, not witchers like Lambert
>Top of the line banter
>Always up for friendly competition
>Wont abandon the path after fucking sometranny sorceress
> Would have kicked that wild hunt elf faggots ass if he didnt teleport behind him
>Fucked a succubus
>Has a pet goat
>>342784630
Vilgefortz is too young
Shit he's barely older than geralt probably very close to the exact same age
lambertlambert ty chuju
Geralt calls Eskel his brother in the journal so theyre obviously closer
>>342783902
And 90% of players would have done the same if the entire village counted as enemies. Would have been an interesting scenario, actually. But the few times I've tried to "spare" enemies in the Witcher 3, the game wouldn't let me progress.
![Terrifying[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/92WyfLj.jpg "Terrifying[1]")
