>Been chatting with this girl online 4 a while. 8/10 looks.
>Her name seems very familiar to another girl I met when I was younger
>She lives in the same town as me, so I asked her to come over.
>While I was waiting for her outside of my front door, I finally saw she was coming.
>She's pretty slow for some reasons, walks at a snail pace. No big deal
>She steps in. We make small talk.
>Need to take a dump so I tell her to stay here
>feelsgood.jpg
>Return to see that my RAM collection has been stolen
>She's gone. Front door is open
>Run outside and see her with my RAM, fleeing
>Try to catch up but she throws a brick at me
>Collapse, sound around me is distorted, that brick fucked me up good
>Vision fades to blue
>tfw
And this is why i'll never invite any women named "DOOM" into my house ever again
>>341776450
0/10
>>341776450
this is the most effort I've ever seen put into something so unfunny
attempt/10
>>341776450
Just the absolute worst
I post at most once a year, but I have to say this - this isn't funny and neither are you.
OP you better delete this now before someone screencaps your cringe
Someone screencap that greentext for a cringe thread.
>>341777238
>>341777607
>>341777787
>>341777997
>>341778628
Salt straight out of a group of doom fans
I've never told anyone before to kill themselves, I find the idea odd that someone would outright kill themselves over a minor misdemeanor online, you'd have to be in a pretty shaky spot to even consider that option and an even shakier spot to believe that you'd lull someone into killing themselves due to them committing a foul on the fucking Internet.
But that ends now, fucking kill yourself, OP, please.
>>341778695
>IP count stayed the same
Well OP at least you tried and spewing twitchshit terms like salt only makes you look like a bigger faggot.
>>341776450
>Sweet OP, you're cool man.
>>341778949
>this ends now
SONNA BAKANA
1/10
Really shit
>Be Soviet soldier stationed in Afghanistan in 1984
>Be assigned to guard some check point on the road
>Hear about some guy single handedly taking out whole towns of soldiers
>No survivors, comrades MIA
>sitting under the checkpoint pavilion, waiting to drive up so I can wave them through
>suddenly hear some song I've never heard before
>TAAAAKE OOOON MEEEEEE
>see a jeep pull up to the first road block and stop
>Dude hops out and starts checking the place out with some binoculars
>ohshitohshitohshit
>TAAAAAAAAKE MEEEEEEEEE OOOOOONN
>comrade in the watch tower screams and falls to the ground
>a dog runs up to Dimitri with a fucking knife in its mouth and slits his throat
>Oh fuck
>IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'LL BEEEEEE GOOOOOOONE
>See the stranger sprinting to the outpost like a man possessed
>Guy is covered from head to toe in blood, and there's a fucking horn coming out of his head
>ohfuckohfuckohfucksweetstalinohfuck
>DOOO DOOOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>Guy grabs my face and slams my head into the ground, then grabs my buddy Ivan and judo throws him on to the table
>Guy looks at both of us and frowns
>Pulls out his binoculars and looks at us from 5 feet away for some reason
>Pulls out his assault rifle and puts a round in Ivan's head
>I guess this is it
>Goodbye sweet Gorbachev
>It isn't
>Guy kicks my in the balls
>I stagger to my feet
>Guy puts me in a choke hold
>Tells me to "spit it out"
>Oh merciful Marx I don't know anything
>Guy looks up, and frowns. Proceeds to drag me out of the shade, and then chokes me until I pass out
>Come to
>Floating in the air like I'm ascending to sputnik
>"Well, this isn't so bad" I think
>Hear helicoptor
>By Kruschev what now?
>Helicopter flys by, grabs me with a sky hook
>Pass out again
>Wake up in a cell tied to a chair
>There's a fucking cowboy speaking to me in perfect Russian
>Tells me I'm part of Diamond Dogs now
>>341776450
Clean the dust out your tower faggot, your shit coolant is not working
hide and report everyone
>>341779510
INDIGNATION
>>341778628
that a thing srs does now?
>>341779304
Funniest thing in this thread
>>341779652
>didn't look up the lyrics
It's "in a day or TWOOOOOOOOO"
>Few months ago
>Nintendo world toys announced, really want a metroid
>go to TRU to see if they've come in
>Aisle 12, Row filled with Nintendo toys, but its all wave 1 stuff.
>Figure, okay, not time yet. but wouldn't hurt to ask.
>Go to help desk
>Guys asks how he can help me
>Tell him I'd just like him to check the system if he knows when scheduled shipments will be.
>"Sure thing, just let me finish with these people first and I'll be right over"
>Wait
>Other register is open
>Perky girl at the register
>She notices me
>"Have you been helped yet sir?"
>Tell her I was waiting on the other guy to check something for me
>"Oh, Well I can do it! what do you need?"
>Figure I might as well go with her and tell her the same thing.
>"Oh,.um well lets see. The nintendo amiibos right?"
>"No, not the amiibos, the Nintendo world toys."
>"Oh.. Well, it says deedeedee is coming in soon, also bowser, "Ick", and -
>"No, no. NOT. the amiibos, its a specific line of toys called the Nintendo World line, You currently have wave 1 out in store, I'm just wondering if your system says anything about wave 2."
>"...Oh. Well I don't see anything about those toys in the system. are you sure its not the Amiibos?"
>"You have them in aisle 12"
>"Oh. Huh... Hang on."
>gets on mic
>"Can I get a check on aisle 12? Do we have stock on "Nintendo world toys?"
>Literally frowning this entire time.
>"It'll be just a sec."
>ten minutes later
>another guy comes from behind the counter.
>"Yeah we got em. you have to get them in electronics though."
>THANK YOU.JPG
>Politely thank her and leave for electronics
>Wonder why the fuck the toys are in electronics
>Get to the register, ANOTHER perky girl working electronics
>"Hi, can I help you?"
>"I'm here for the Nintendo world info."
>"Oh that, yeah got it right here."
>She hands me a game
>Fucking Nintendoland
>"Is that what you were looking for?"
