Your sitting on your ass masturbating to random shit on 4chan in your mother's basement when suddenly your teleported into dark souls game universe.
You are then met with the penis monster with testicle mustache that tells you that "you must survive in this realm for one full year and if you succeed then you will be brought back to your own realm with everything back to normal even your own health and humanity" which means if you die in the game you die in real life.
What firearms and ammo do you take with you and what gear do you take as well?
How will you survive the dark souls world and avoid death by all cost?
How will you cunts handle the hollowing?
>hardcore mode you must only use weapons that are in the game and not from the real world.
>also your given an extra life just in case you die in the game by killing enemy bosses but only from killing an enemy boss will you gain an extra life
>I'm not hollow
Well fuck, might as well just throw myself off a cliff and end it all anyway, at least I won't respawn.
probably just camp at firelink for a year
>>341111694
am i teleported to firelink shrine, or in the middle of some shit like undead burg?
>>341112097
this
>>341112156
Firelink shrine
Because I'm being nace and you get a start eithout instant death at the asylum
>>341112097
This. I'd probably just take some weights, and a deck of cards to play with the crestfallen warrior.
>>341111694
>Suddenly teleported
>Firearms and ammo
If I'm suddenly teleported while masturbating why would I have guns and bullets with me?
>>341112625
Your given an option to take whatever you have with you but only for a brief moment
Stay at the shrine, don't even go near the exit, bro it up with all the characters in there, perform sexual favours if needs must
>>341112917
is there wifi?
-waifu pillow
-sleeping bag
that's it.
>>341112440
>>341112097
>yfw you are the crestfallen warrior waiting for your year to be up
>>341111694
This thread is brought to you by summer.
>>341111694
i just get the estoc and hone my skills
just need to get summoned a lot so i can learn some useful combat skills without actually dying
>>341111694
The first thing I do is level vit and int. So I can effortlessly kill everything with overpowered magic.
Buy a scimitar or falchion as a side arm.
Work my way up to the church and kill the gargoyles. Then buy all the rings of sacrifice Oswald has in store. That should secure me for a year.
>Your
Stopped reading right there
don't fuck the gargoyles
Probably something with Anastacia.
It'd be fucking easy because the "does not open from this side" bar doors wouldn't matter
If you're not allowed to die how are you supposed to wind up hollow?
>the reward for doing well is actually a punishment
This is a sad one because once you get the hang of the whole "survival" thing you'd adapt to the situation.
After the year passes and you are teleported to your own world, life will not feel the same anymore. You'd want to go into Dank sause once more because, there, you have found a different part of you. And you'd feel like you have a purpose in life.
*tips
>>341113443
>>341115232
This. Who would want to go back to the basement LOL?
>>341116160
Which is why it's called dark souls
Everything is sad and depressing in the game
There is no such thing as "good ending"
You mainly focus on survival
>>341111694
Out of all the fantasies you picked the one that literally revolves around death itself
Are you a sadist?
>>341111694
I'd enjoy being in the world of DS but if respawns aren't allowed then that's just boring.
>>341113443
Great now I somehow feel sad for the sarcastic guy
Fuck you for making me sad
>>341118008
>unless you kill one of the enemy bosses you will get an extra life
Why use any assault weapons you faggot?
Are you that fucking weak that you need to use a stupid gun to kill an enemy just so you can feel tough?
Go kill yourself op
>>341118515
No one from /v/ is killing a boss first try.
>>341119748
This
Why bring a gun?
Fucking weak ass faggots I swear
>>341119748
Probably because op is one of the faggots from /k/ that circle jerks over useless firearms that are literally designed to only kill because you don't want to handle the situation like a normal human being.
Not everything is call of duty op so go break your own neck and cut your throught open you fucking degenerate
So if I kill stuff do I absorb the souls to become more powerful, because if so I can just grind away in the undead burg where it's relatively safe
>>341120582
How are guns supposed to work on skeletons?
>>341119787
Why not?
I can roll, maybe not as well as CU and I sure as hell cannot do it three times wthout stopping but if the bonefire works I can just farm hollowed dumbasses in new londo until I get enough souls to level up everything. After all I'm not leaving any time soon, and as long as I don't go beyond the beginning of the burg there would be no problems.
>>341119748
>>341120034
>>341120582
Because /v/ is full of fat fucks who wouldn't last a minute against a hollow or two with just a sword. The shock of impaling something with a weapon in hand would freeze your average faggot long enough to get back stabbed.
If you're going in to a shit show you should go in with what makes survival most efficient.
I'd go in with the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Veteran survival pack and bring some cheeki.
>>341121040
Shoot the spines and make the skeletons crippled
>>341112097
Youd go hollow in years time.
>your
Why are gringos so bad at their own language?
>>341113443
>>341121652
Before the pull themselves back together with magic, and pain-wheel your ass.
Learn to scale a wall.
Climb into Anor Londo
Climb the backside of Gwynevere's chambers
Sneak inside her breast
Sleep in the illusion till my time has come
>>341111694
I probably have more than 10 int, so I can cast soul arrow
I go to new londo and kill all the hollows there for the souls again and again, until I can afford a staff and soul arrow
Then I guess it is time to farm regular hollows until I can use great soul arrow
I can probably kill the taurus demon by running up and down the ladder while shooting soul arrows
>>341122882
>you penetrate her holy vagina with your penis resulting in the illusion to disappear and your now stuck in dark ano londo with shitty invaders
Will estus heal me?
>>341123907
no, since you're not a hollow apparently
>>341123216
>Going for the whore
>Not the bro
I would even suk his dick, no homo though
>>341124615
I don't like traps, ill go for the giantess. If we meet we will part way there. Just let him keep the illusion up
>buml
>bump
>>341111694
>Your
>your
>your
>>341112917
>Your
>>341129704
Fine "you're" there happy now Mr grammar nazi fucking retard
>>341129704
>your/you're
When will this meme die?
>>341111694
Why would i want to go back to reality?
>>341131543
Because fuck you it's dark souls
One year means I could be grinding a whole lot of souls from the first couple of undeads, and then beat the "game" in the last two or so days because I'm so overpowered.
Why does everyone in this thread not understand hollowing? The Chosen Undead is not hollow. He's undead.
>>341132309
But Dark souls is fucking easy, just abuse i-frames, Parries and backstabs
>just sit at Firelink hunting birds that fly past and roast them over the bonfire
>piss and shit over the edge
>masturbate to the fire maiden below
>for fun i throw rocks at skeletons
mmh.
>become giantdad
>murder everything
is there really any other option?
>>341132770
>gets fucked by skeletons for pissing them off
Sounds like a good idea at the start before getting blood loss from those assholes
>>341111694
camp at firelink
eat giant rat in the waterway, hardest part is getting pass the undead
water from the shrine
shit and piss off the ledge
>>341133321
They don't follow you to Firelink. I'd sit up by where the big bird's nest is and just pelt stones at them. I grade myself 10 points if I get a skull donk, 5 points for rib cage dings, 1 point anywhere else, and 15 points if it goes through the hole in their pelvis.
>>341132932
>implying you'd survive the onslaught of skellies to get the Zwei
Unless you get iframes for rolling, your best bet is just use a faith build because the guy selling miracles is in Firelink from the start.
>>341134469
>>341130810
The only retard here is you, son.
>>341136051
>Gets triggered by someone saying your instead of you're
>Calls someone retard for not being autistic on the grammar word
>4chan
>>341111694
Me personally id probably wear some ridicously light armor unless Dark Souls 1 has a Snow area for most of the game.
And the Rayuko from Bloodborne. Long sword Spear thing when necessary. Two blades when facing multiple foes.
Only way to win i guess.
fuck it lets go
>AKS-74U with like 5 spam cans of 7n6 ammo and 20 mags
>Ruger Super Redhawk in .44 mag with a bunch of Buffalo Bore ammo
>Glock 17 with a bunch of 33 round mags
>some sort of lightweight bolt action with a scope
>LBT plate carrier, PASGT helmet, like 100 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of Merrel hiking boots
>tom clancy books, US survival manual, good quality camera, good smartphone with solar charger and huge music library
>plenty of water and shit, and a lot of clothes
done
>>341114659
nice ass
>>341123791
>implying you'd get far enough in the game to gaze upon that chest
>>341131328
>grammar is a meme
>>341136471
>I can't handle literally first grade grammar
>But you're the retard
>>341138330
Retard.
>shotgun (TOZ, Winchester, Remington, Benelli, SPAS, Mossberg - whichever one you like), 36000 shotgun shells.
>Yearly supply of toilet paper rolls - 360 rolls.
>Guitar
>360 packs of Malboro cigarettes
That is it.
>sit at bonfire for a year
GG no re
Do we get invaded ? If not just rock a estoc
>>341111694
Find a boss I can easily defeat with a plunging attack. The plunging attack is the most reliable move in the game.
>>341111694
>handle the hollowing
So I AM undead? This seems contradictory, it's very unlikely I'd hollow within a year without dying at least once. But dying once ends it unless I've killed a boss?
Also do these extra lives stack? Can I make myself stronger and more intelligent using souls?
Because if I can I am definitely learning magic. It's easy-baby-mode in the game but if it were for real I'd learn that shit.
What if I do so well I become the dark lord? Do I go home once my year is up? Or am I too powerful to be forcefully taken back?
I like the idea but there needs to be more explained.
I'd take my exactly one years worth of food, water, porn, and entertainments that I keep next to me at all time and chill at Firelink shrine.
>>341133729
lol
>>341133729
>they don't follow you to Firelink
Yeah, they do. I know this because I thought that way too and tried to get all the items in the graveyard way before I was actually ready.
It's doable if you maneuver right and go fast enough to get to the bonfire to be able to use it, otherwise they come into the shrine and you can't reset them.
>>341114659
I'm gonna fuck the gargoyles
>>341139996
Taurus demon says hello and then good bye, Capra too if you can get past the dogs
>>341121489
>The shock of impaling something
Yeah, but you're impaling hollow monsters, I don't think it'd be as shattering as killing an actual man.
Once that cunt Lautrec kills the Firekeeper and forces you out of Firelink, that's when shit gets real.
>>341138652
Ornstein and Smough, cock blockers extraordinaire
>>341141374
literally what are you talking about
they cant get up the stairs
>>341141692
>letting Lautrec out of his cell
>>341112097
This. Knowing I'll return home within a year will be what keeps me from going hollow.
>>341141987
He gets out anyway if you're so inclined to kill the gargs and get Oswell, so I'm sure he'll work his way out within a year. All you "Sit at Firelink" fags BTFO
Use my one extra life to get to the elite knight armor, grab it, die, respawn and camp out in firelink chilling with crestfallen waiting to teleport back with the best cosplay of all time.
>>341111694
So you're saying I'd be hollow and had to survive? That sounds fucking easy.
>>341141921
And what are you gonna do after you piss them off? Stay up there the rest of the year?
>>341141987
>>341142258
>not just pushing Lautrec off a cliff
Everyone does it for the fucking ring, I think /v/ would do it if it meant an actual safe location was just gone if they didn't.
>>341142850
>pushing a guy with full plate off a cliff
I don't think anyone here is that strong
>>341113443
DEEPEST LORE
>>341142994
Gravity, like time, is distorted in Lordran, how else do you explain the distance you can fall
>>341111694
>you will be brought back to your own realm with everything back to normal even your own health and humanity
Fucking normies.
>>341111694
>You die in the game, you die in real life
Silly OP, you already asked about how we would deal with the holowing so you are implying we are undead. We would not truly die and so the challenge of lasting one year is easy.
Now you only need to find somethi to keep you from going full hollow
>>341142994
>kill hollows
>kill more hollows
>kill even MORE hollows
>raise strength
I'm not just going to sit on my ass the entire year, I'd be gunning for as much power as possible.
I'm sure even the most passive and scared /v/irgins could eventually handle fighting the same hollows over and over again.
>>341141692
>not kicking lautrec off the ledge
>>341144125
>come back to your world a fighting God and strong man just from slaughtering the same hollows endlessly
I like this idea
>>341144964
Don't neglect your intellect, anon!
>>341111694
i just die. i will eventually starve to death if i don't.
>>341111694
>How will you survive the dark souls world and avoid death by all cost?
>just grind hollows for weeks only using dark souls weapons
>easily cheese my way through everything with pyromancy or ranged combat in general
>face bosses only when I'm so overleveled that they don't pose a challenge anymore
>become the fucking blight of the world
>implying I will leave after the year is up
>implying I won't invade each and every one of you until it's all over for me
TELEPORTATION INTO DARK SOULS UNIVERSE WHEN
>>341143051
>>341144865
fuck off op your thread is shit
>>341145550
>yfw you misstep and plunge 200 feet to your death in some random ass place
>>341146651
silent, anon, that's the bonus ending!
