The Pope has spoken. Did you recite your prayers to the god Dewrito?
>>340851335
At least he's a good sport about it unlike most other vidya "journalists"
>trying to have it both ways
keep shilling chips ya fuckin dead eyed shill
>>340851432
Heathen, thou shalt not naysay thy lord.
I like Doritos but not Mountain Dew
>>340851552
thats like saying you believe in god but no jesus
begone heathen
I always said that this guy tries to be a journalist but the only way he can get the money for that is to sell out to sponsors.
I mean you can't say the guy is dishonest orushes agendas or anything.
What is it about smashing a fistful of nacho doritos in your greasy face and washing it down with an icy cool dew that's so satisfying?
>>340851335
I'm a Catholic, and I am slightly offended
>>340851335
>>340851702
Well, it certainly is better than being paid by game companies to give good reviews. Doritos and Mountain dew would only be interested in how much viewers and not give a shit if the journalist is honest and slams a game for being shit even if it's an AAA game.
I like Keighley a lot more than I used to. I think it's because you can tell the difference between when he's in dead eyed shill mode and when he's actually excited, it actually makes him more honest in a weird sort of way.
I think its also pretty funny that hes embraced his meme status instead of getting mad like some game personalities would have.
>>340851335
Well done, Geoff.
>>340851636
The Jews get away with it.
>>340851765
Catholics aren't allowed to be offended. i know this because I'm catholic too. We are automatically sinners by being alive.
>>340851552
I wouldn't eat Doritos unless I had some salsa and sour cream to dip them in.
Mountain Dew, like 7Up, is nice on a hot day.
But apparently the Mountain Dew we have here in the UK tastes different from the US version because it has more caffeine and real sugar instead of HFCS.
>>340852036
Depending on your FDA-equivalent's anal-retentiveness and purity, it might also not contain fire retardant.you're missing out
I want to be baptised in dew by dorito pope
>>340852036
in the US we have HFCS Mountain Dew and Real Sugar Cane Mountain Dew
>>340851919
isn't that the protestant thing
I mean, Catholics can go to confessional and all
>>340852314
Do protestants baptize? Catholics do because you are scum the second you are born and need to be saved.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mrm9fQLNO0
All jokes aside, Keighley is a good presenter and I always watch him present e3.
Okay you turbo gigantic shill acussing faggots
This is the law
Here's the bottom line
The doritos pope is a visionary
For he saw that if ads are a necessity, it is way better to deal with Doritos rather than the publisher
Anyone mocking him, not getting the importance of this is a bona fide retard and should simply lurk and avoid us the need to call his idiocy out
Watching him tear strips off Furious Franco gave me a newfound respect for him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTNkoDzP1hI
Im getting some doritos to munch throughout e3.
>>340852250
>mfw Throwbacks
>>340852398
Reminds me of the game where you go through the 7 circles of hell and one of the first is the realm where unbabtised babies go to.
>>340851335
I like that he's a good sport about it, I guess.
Also what's up with advertisers just slapping a hashtag in front of their current campain slogan? They know that the "Trending Topic" thing doesn't require a hashtag, right?
God it's annoying.
>>340852991
It's modern PR even though no one would actually do it unironically.
Please explain this to a none e-celebrity worshiping guy.
>>340851432
Using "shill" twice in the same sentence is overdoing it a bit desu
If he were writing reviews or opinion articles, there might be a conflict of interest. The Gamespot/Kane & Lynch fiasco is an example of conflict-of-interest. Taking calls from companies to unveil their games or showing off a bag of Doritos is hardly reprehensible when literally every corporation does it.
General Electric has industry folks come in an show off the new features for their washing machine, oil newsletters deliver the news on whatever Dutch Shell is doing, etc. He's never made himself out to be Roger Ebert or Lewis Sinclair, he's there to make companies deliver whatever message they have in a way that is exciting and comfortable for the devs. Which is alright.
Cancer is shit like Kotaku or Polygon distorting the news to engender controversy so they can get precious clicks or the Gamespot fiasco mentioned above. GameTrailers and pretty much every other company affiliated with Geoff have been wholesome and ethical by comparison
so basically: geoff, geoff he's our guy
>>340851335
i'm confus, why is this man the pope? and what is the purpose of this giant dorito machine?
>>340853216
Years ago Geoff was a shill for Doritos and mountain dew. when they were advertising cod/halo /v/ made a whole thing about it, called him the dorito pope and everything as >>340851850
Years later Geoff can laugh at himself for it as the OP
>obesity in a can
>obesity in a bag
>nutritionless pleb food and beverage for lazy, short sighted people with shitty palettes and very little care for their health
Just because one of your hobbies doesn't really involve moving your body doesn't mean that you need to fall into this trap.
If you have any doubts, watch a soda and snack machine at someplace "health neutral" like a college campus for a while. You might rarely see healthy people get themselves something, but the overwhelming majority of patrons will be whales.
>>340853465
>nutritionless
>>340853216
Geoff Keighley is a vidya journalist from a while back.
At one point, he conducted an interview about something (Halo? I don't remember) and he was just surrounded my Mtn Dew and Doritos products and imagery, because apparently they were doing some sort of promo for the game.
And the whole thing was really awkward to watch... And this was back before the whole GG thing, when the idea that games "journalism" just being one big advertisement shitshow was still something fairly controversial, so he became the poster child for the unsavory connection between vidya "journalism" and shilling for corporate sponsors.
And so he got photoshopped with a curled up Dorito on his head, wearing papal vestments and surrounded by bags of doritos and mtn dew, and we called him the Doritos Pope.
So now, years later, they're building a big stage at a game conference, and it's emblazoned with the Doritos logo because they're sponsoring it, and he will be there in some capacity as a presenter/announcer, so he calls it "The Vatican" as a tongue-in-cheek reference to his Dorito Pope nickname.
>>340851335
>this can't be real, still hilarious
>check pope's twitter
>it is
>>340853351
>>340853673
It also came around as impotent rage at a columnist from Eurogamer getting fired. The guy pointed out how a female game journalist had close ties to Eidos back when they were marketing the Tomb Raider reboot. So the female journalist threatened to sue Eurogamer for libel, an extremely hard to fight back accusation in the UK because of its shitty tabloids. So Eurogamer pulled the article, and the guy quit in response.
Geoff Keighley was shilling Mountain Dew and Doritos sponsoring Halo 4 at the same time. His image as the Dorito Pope came to symbolise corrupt game journalists who will abandon their integeity for a handout PS3 or even just a quick buck from sponsors and publishers.
Irpnically Geoff Keighley still has integrity.
>>340852924
Dante's Inferno?
>>340851335
>>340853652
>autist who can only store one definition for a word
>also confused by more abstract definitions
>since he's confused, tries to paint the latter as invalid
"Nutritional" is often used to describe foods that pack a lot of stuff that will lend to a healthy body if used as a staple, especially those foods that people in modern society tend to neglect. This makes sense, as the main reason why we discuss nutrition to begin with is due to the massive health effects that one's diet has on the body. What is the opposite of nutritional, AKA healthy? Nutritionless.
Soda is basically the single worst thing to have a staple in your diet. It sets you up for obesity and a wide variety of diseases in a dozen different ways, while basically being the lowest grade fuel that you could ask for. If nutritionists were to asked to give one food or beverage that you should never have, soda would be a very popular choice. Doritos aren't much better.
Sun chips are better
>>340852924
Yeah it used to be like that but then a pope retconned it so no more babbies in hell :D
>>340854368
Not him, but nah, come on man. "Nutritionless" implies that the food doesn't supply you with any nutrition. There ARE foods like this. Like alcohol; there's nothing nutritive in alcohol.
If you meant "unhealthy", why wouldn't you just say "unhealthy"?
Also, just because I always bring this up, the idea that high-calorie foods are "unhealthy" is bullshit, calorie-dense foods are excellent and EXTREMELY healthy which is why they're delicious. What's unhealthy is consuming a large number of calories without also burning a large number of calories.
If you were stranded in the wildnerness with no food and all you had to eat was what you could carry in a single backpack, you'd be PRAYING that the backpack was full of bottles of coca cola and tubs of lard, not bottles of kombucha and stalks of kale... Because the former foods are extremely calorie dense and long-lasting while the latter provide almost no calories per weight and spoil much more quickly.
I mean, I still get your larger point about combining high-calorie foods with sedentary hobbies, just sayin
>>340854896
Alcohol is a drug not a food.
>>340855186
Whatever, pepper then. peppercorns have like, zero nutritional content
It's Sunday, why aren't you buying Mountain Dew and Doritos.
>>340852924
Dante's Inferno?
>>340852924
Limbo is pretty weird in the original tellings of Dante's Inferno.
Like, it's the first level of Hell, but it's not a place of undue suffering. There's even verdant grass and a pretty bitching castle.
I wonder how The Pope feels about the ongoing fued between Baja Blast and Pitch Black. Sacrilege of the one true Dew or a saintly spreading of the holy liquid spirit?
The pope is busy licking nigger feet
>>340856073
>Being too poor to afford steady supplies of Red Bull
Enjoy your inferior gaming fuel. Me and my far superior drink will be whipping peoples ass in Overwatch AND funding several different racing teams.
What the fuck has Dew done for the world other than reminding people of what it means to be a completely disgusting soft drink?
>>340851765
>>340851919
>being Catholic
>in the current year no less
I wish more reporters were like Geoff. Just does his shit (well, mind you) and doesn't let outside bullshit get in his way.
>>340856276
Maybe one day Red Bull will sponsor me so I don't have to pay double just to get a good energy drink
>>340854368
>Throwing a tantrum because somebody pointed out that you used words you don't understand
>>340856451
>being a christcuck any year
He was ready for me
>>340854896
Nutrition is about more than just calories, though. That's little more than a rough guideline as to what the food will do to your weight. Nothing more.
Soda fills your stomach with shitty, useless simple carbs that fuck with your digestion. If you want to develop acid reflux at a young age, drink a lot of soda and eat a lot of bread.
>trapped with no food
While your immediate concern would indeed be calories, which a backpack full of soda would help out with, if you were going to be there for a while, you would really need to think about securing some proper meat, vegetables, and fruit. Your body needs more than just calories to rebuild itself. When it can't rebuild itself, you get a disease. Different nutrients serve different roles in the body.
Also, as an experiment, try living a day off of two twelve packs of soda. That's roughly 3600 calories, which is definitely going to be a surplus for the average person. Despite that, you're going to be hungry as fuck. The next day, try sustaining yourself off of three hard boiled eggs, a chicken breast, a banana, a cup of yogurt, two carrots, and some spinach. The latter day is maybe 2000 calories at most, but I can guarantee you that you'll fill much fuller than day one. Feeling full is also not just about calories.
Also, some alcoholic beverages are okay, nutritionally. Red wine, for example.
>>340856451
That's what Jesus did to his disciples to show humility, which is one of the main points of the religion.
Not that you know anything about any form of christianity anyway.
Holy
Roman
Empire
This is very difficult to say while keeping a straight face. I wonder who can, because indeed it is hard.
"Holy", you say, while grinning like Voltaire did. "Holy", it is its name. But then, thinking of "Holy", you think about all the Emperors who were excommunicated. You think about all those who tried to fuck with the pope. You think about the wars of religion and how many of them ended up as protestant heretics.
But then, the funniest is coming: "Roman". Yes, now, you cannot contain your laughter. "Roman", it is called despite the fact that this "Roman" body is standing on Germania, a land so harsh and poor that the Legions of Rome refused to set foot on it. A germanic and barbaric people, yes, but still calling themselves "Roman".
And now, here is the end of the fun: "Empire". Now you fell on the ground, laughing so hard that you cannot breathe. An "Empire", a body made of dozens of petty duchies and counties, all fighting for themselves, giving strange names to their position, full of Grand-Dukes or Archdukes. An "Empire" who will stay between Poland and France, while the great powers of Europe will create colonies all around the world.
"Holy" "Roman" "Empire"
>>340851636
No, they acknowledge Jesus exists, they don't agree with them
He's a shitskin
>>340857142
>This is what I was wearing TELL ME I ASKED FOR IT I DARE YOU
>>340854368
>Soda is basically the single worst thing to have a staple in your diet. It sets you up for obesity and a wide variety of diseases in a dozen different ways
this is just dumb. people like you portray soda like its toxic waste that will give you aids, cancer and bad breath all at once, when its pretty much just sugar water. nothing particularly fancy or hazardous about it.
it has less calories than actual fruit juice, it has a lot less calories than plain old milk. sure, chugging a gallon of sugar water each day isnt a particularly good idea for most people, but it certainly isnt as dramatic as you make it out to be.
>>340857368
>food is more filling than fluids
Splendid discovery. I know you're trying to debunk that other anon's calorie bit. But there is a reason we use the words "hungry" and "thirsty"
tfw they don't sell Code Red anywhere
>>340857368
>shitty, useless simple carbs that fuck with your digestion
nigger what kind of moron are you? did you fall for the keto meme?
simple carbs are literally the easiest thing to digest for humans. nothing is as easily absorbed and used as sugars.
>>340852924
>game
>7 circles
Cringe
official e3 thread when ? what stream will our beloved pope be on ?
>>340857369
I'm sorry that being a cuck is part of your religion
>>340852991
because it's the internet and they're hip and down with the kids yo
>>340857369
his disciples where at least his allies
this is the age of the cucks
>>340851736
Hey pal you sure know how to #Dew it
>>340856451
Look at my pal Phillip back there, he knows this some bs.
>>340857525
You are better off dead you ungodly arch-villain.
>>340851552
Why not just buy real tortilla chips and melt some cheese on them or something?
Has anyone got a pack of memes (.zip or .rar)
That we can spam for E3
>>340852398
Sorry your parents made you go to church early.
>>340851335
Geoff is an amazing guy with a great sense of humor, prove me wrong
>>340864436
Most of the TechTV guys were in it for the love of tech and/or video games. The only person who has really fallen is Sessler.
>>340864806
I was really shocked to hear that Sessler does porn now.
>>340865338
kek
I feel really bad for the guys who still try to make content and they get no views. At least they aren't doing coke.
https://www.youtube.com/user/EPNetworkTV/featured
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFP9Euhwi3GqbQmWS-M-0hA/videos
>>340865338
The funny thing is Christian probably loves video games more than he does.
>>340852398
That's the general thing with most Christian religions. In my experience Catholics are 1-day-a-week Christians and the other sects are the ones that get a bit more fervent about it
>>340865616
He's probably more progressive than femnazi Sess can ever be since he'll stick his dick in anything without discrimination.
>>340851335
holy fuck, how based can one man be?
>>340857369
The pic is the equivalent of Jesus kissing the feet of the mob who wanted him crucified.
>>340856451
Don't be fool, we put Francis to make the world believe we play nice. Soon we'll get High Inquisitor Ratzinger out of the freezer to make christianism great again.
>>340863282
Because you'll never get the same flavor of a dorito with your own cheese and spices.
>>340851335
Were there any other times he's acknowledged the dorito pope meme
>>340851552
Doritos are a legit good chip, my man. So many good flavors to choose from.
>Spicy chili
So fuckin good.
>>340865338
HUH?! You're joking, right?!
>>340867284
>eating junk food
>>340868037
Gotta have a balance.
based god
>>340857584
It is. Calories don't matter when your drink is fundamentally chemical sugar water. I'd rather have milk juice water or just ANYTHING over your processed cancer enabler any day of the year.
>It's not that bad so might aswell drink it meme
Fuck outta here
>>340866954
Yeah, you'll get a better one.
>>340851335
Huh, well respect to him for being able to make fun of himself.
>>340851335
Dank.
>>340869083
>things I don't like are never just mildly undesirable or mediocre, they are THE DEVIL and people who like them are AN ASPECT OF THE BEAST.
Soft drinks never killed anyone. Relax.
