Monkey's Paw
- Home
- Board: /v/ - Video Games
- Reading: Monkey's Paw
Make a wish /v/
I wish E3 would have good games that I'm actually interested in shown.
>>340565179
New Weapons!
An eceleb board is made
I wish for your freedom Monkey Paw
I want Arena shooters to be popular again.
I wish we'd finally get a good new 2D Metroid game.
I wish Valve, GOG, Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo went out of business.
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and-and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?
I want a cute ghost waifu to fuck
>>340565462
Fuckin hippie.
Don't let blizzard ruin wow
>>340565251
All the games come with day-1 DLC, heavy DRM, season passes and are only aviable on the Xbone.
>>340565469
All games get censored and memes are added to them
>>340565251
Granted, but they will never come out
I wish for a good sequel to Sonic 3 & Knuckles
A virgin girl to marry and have 3 children with.
>>340565251
Me too brother, me too
kill me
>>340565516
The turkey sandwich is rigged to a trigger system that detonates a nuclear device that evaporates anything within a 25km radius if anyone moves the sandwich or interacts with it in any way
>>340565179
I wish I never existed
Localize every Japanese game ever, but:
>no memes are added
>the translations are 100% faithful (no memes)
>no censorship at all
>if dubs are added, they're decent at worst
>if dubs are added, dual audio is always an option
>>340565251
Vaporware
>>340565316
You get them, all worse looking reskins ofnon stockweapons
>>340565352
It's made, everyone stays on /v/ and it is considered a wasted board and closes again
>>340565373
Thanks
>>340565391
Sure, but let's change up the formula. Cover based arena shooting, nice and slow. But pay to win of course.
>>340565719
Granted but everyone is in a delusion that you did so they're still sad you're gone
>>340565352
it gets made but /v/ is deleted
>>340565391
slow-paced and techless
>>340565373
it strangles you
>>340565462
All their IPs are bought by Tencent
>>340565469
Treehouse handles every single localization. They all have Atlus quality dubs with no dual audio
>>340565598
She ends up cucking and divorcing you a month after your 3rd child is born, and turns them all against you.
>>340565769
>Cover based arena shooting, nice and slow. But pay to win of course.
Kill yourself monkey paw.
>>340565391
All of them are developed by Actovision and EA devs, little kids and pewdiepies audience get hooked on them, they make the majority of the playerbase
>>340565726
Localisedto Korean
>>340565726
All games are localized into Simplified Chinese and Arabic
>>340565179
I want to fuck a very hot girl that will die right after and there will be no evidence connected to me, also I will remember nothing on the next second of fuck (but the pleasure) and zombies or ghosts will never exist, also as a bonus my dick will never go limp nor anything will happen to my appearance or smell or bodily functions
I dare you motherfucker
Find a way to monkey paw this wish
I wish I could enjoy a video game like I used to be able to.
>>340565772
Anon, you dont understand. I dont have anyone to be sad about me not being there.
>>340565718
Or, you know, the turkey could just be a little dry.
>>340565726
Every release is an Atlus USA-style """collector's edition""" that massively overinflates the price while only adding five-page artbooks, six-track soundtrack CDs, stickers, and other crap you don't want.
>>340565893
Granted but also you're gay
>>340565893
Granted but she pegs you and never touches your penis
>>340565893
She is hot, very very hot. So hot she's on fire. You've seriously burned yourself anon and she's ashes before you can finish. You're still a virgin, but now a very burned one
>>340565893
Granted, but she had AIDS that passed to you.
>>340566039
Fuck didnt foresee this
>>340565905
Granted, but you can only enjoy a videogame, no more, no less.
The problem with the Monkey Paw is that whatever you wish for, you will get a twisted negative version of it.
If you want money, it will throw the cops at you for stealing it
If you want immortal life, you will be immortal, but still get old.
The only way to win, would be to say a 1000 words wish that include all possible negatives.
>>340565893
Since your dick never goes limp ever again you die from a heart attack two days after
>>340565179
>>>neogaf
>>340566102
But anon you were always a faggot
>>340565905
You enjoy the next video game you play as if you played it yesterday
>>340566137
Yes we know what a monkey paw is you flaming faggot
>>340565893
Nigga you just wished for a dead body in the middle of your room. There didn't need to be any monkey pawing about it. You're going to have to dispose of a dead body in the middle of your room with no recollation of how it got there.
>>340566080
>>340566091
>>340566150
>>340566083
>>340566039
I will improve it and post again
The wish came true!
>>340565905
seconded
>>340566039
>>340566102
ice cold
>>340565893
Congratulations, you just forgot everything you knew, which pretty much makes you a drooling retard.
I wish everyone else's wishes dont have any negative consequences
I wish I could have 100 uncorrupted wishes.
>>340565179
Make World War 3 the fight for machine consciousness.
>>340566393
>>340566415
All the fingers on the paw fall off
>>340565905
Granted, but that's the only game you can play for the rest of your life.
>>340566393
Granted, but every single one of those negative effects that should have happened is placed on you.
>>340565179
I want to be rich.
I wish trump won
>>340565179
I want E3 to be more for the gamers. Showing better games that release within the year
>>340566415
You could have them, but you missed your chance years ago. Can't now
>>340566216
Some people dont. A lot of people have never saw the Twillight Zone.
Stop being so triggered.
I wish for a Street Fighter-esque game, but with naked ladies of various racial backgrounds.
>>340566506
You became Rich Evans
>>340566525
Granted, but you're now a mexican.
>>340566525
Gets assassinated, his VP Jeb Bush now becomes president.
I wish for phenomenal cosmic power!
>>340566525
Trump wins, but is more centrist than Xillary ever could have been
>>340566506
Your name changes to Richard
>>340566631
Granted, but you're not allowed to see or play any footage or gameplay of it ever.
Also, it's delayed until 2032.
>>340566682
GRANTED. Phenonmenal cosmic power!
Itty bitty living space. You 're now linked to a genie's lamp and can only make wishes for other people. Any other time, and you're stuck inside alone.
>>340566631
Granted, but they're all traps
>>340566682
You get an itty bitty living space.
>>340566631
Granted but their all BBW or transgirls or both.
Okay lets do this
I want to be immortal but die at any moment I want, and none of the following will happen
>Nothing will happen to my sexuality
>Nothing will happen with my intellect
>Nothing will happen with my memory
>Nothing will happen with humanity
>Nothing will happen with aliens invading humanity
>The planet wont explode
>People will not fear or despise me or feel disgusted
>I cant get AIDS
>My dick will work normally
>My balls too
>My appearance will remain the same
>My money and possessions will remain intact
>No meteors will crashon earth
>Actually nothing will happen that will trigger the destruction of society
>Society will not turn into a sjw paradise nor anything like it
>My friends will be ok
>My body is intact
>A hole wont open and make me fall on it
I could go on but I think this covers most of it
>Videogames will remain good
>>340566834
>>340566860
None of these sound like bad things
Give me a 7, please.
>>340566682
granted
Robin Williams is still dead
>>340566825
Well why don't you just fuck me in the ass.
>>340566834
>>340566860
If you think traps are a negative outcome for me, think again. Now maybe one could be reasonably big bodied, but yeah fattys kill the boner.
>>340565179
I wish that /tv/ never again enjoys playing any vidya.
I wish that the monkey paw loses it's negative version of your original wish.
Beat that faggot
I want Skyrim to be remade into a non-pile of shit game
>>340566910
The planet implodes.
>>340566910
You're immortal but blind and deaf.
Body's intact, dick, balls, memory, intellect, sexuality, and humanity all unaffected.
Chrono Trigger remake.
I want Robin Williams to come back to life, cured of his depression.
>>340566910
Dude, you forgot the two mains.
You are still aging and didnt cover being put in a Ice cube.
I wish Capcom would make good video games again
>>340565179
I hope e3 is fun to watch
>>340565179
I wish that you don't grant me this wish.
>>340567106
Alright but it's going to cost you 10 dollars per mod.
>>340566910
Granted. You then contract a horribly painful disease that while leaving you mobile, keeps you in perpetual pain that you can't escape.
>>340567156
Granted, but he quickly gets killed by someone else.
>>340566910
>immortal
>die at any moment
I want Capcom to stop being lazy sacks of shit and release Monhun on Wiiu instead of N3DS.
>>340567152
Chrono Trigger is overrated.
>>340565179
I want to be a cute anime girl!
>>340566830
>>340566853
that's my fetish
>>340565179
TEKKEN 7 RELEASE DATE, AND ON PC
>>340567215
The tragic irony is that your wish for no wish has been granted by it not working in the first place, which means that it did work, signifying that it did not.
>>340567106
Shadowkey is remade instead.
>>340567152
It's being headed by Anita Sarkisian and tumblr.
i wish 3DS firmware 11u will be hackable soon without hardmodding. JUST
>>340566910
Sure, you are gifted perfect immortality by an elder god after falling into the ocean. Unfortunately lacking any super strength you can't move due to the immense pressure. Although your body is unharmed, you still feel pain, incredible pain of the entire ocean weighing down on you and the constant feeling of drowning but never dying. But hey, you can still kill yourself whenever.
>>340567215
Ok.
>>340567258
Granted, but its shit that doesn't work
>>340567129
not him but
>blind and deaf
>body is intact
>>340566910
Time grinds to a halt, causing you to become immortal. You experience the current moment forever but due to time standing completely still, you don't experience it at all. Nothing will ever move or change again and everything remains as is for all timeless eternity.
>>340566952fuck you
I wish that the monkey pawn never existed
Take this paradox
>>340565179
4.3 Million Dollars
>>340567309
On the day it drops, it turns out a shitty intern laced it with a virus that bricks any computer that runs it.
>>340567076
They don't enjoy it. Still do it though, just like us
>>340567252
You can wish to die, to die.
Otherwise you are fucked when the universe dies.
Immortal Man, in Marvel does that. He cannot die. Even after the universe and all the gods have died, he will still be floating in nothing.
Horrible.
>>340565179
i wish for half life 3
>>340567328
But by not granting my wish he didn't grant my wish of not grating me my wish.
>>340567431
No limbs or anything are missing. He said intact, not in perfect human condition. He still has eyes and eardrums.
I wish that the concept of a meme dies and that any new meme dies within a week.
>>340566910
>Nothing will happen to my sexuality
you don't need the monkeys paw to be sure of that m8
>>340567537
Granted, but it's a N64 exclusive.
I wish for tip
>>340567537
Granted, but its only playable through VR and the Steam Controller.Its also EpisodicIt never has a 3rd episode
>>340567293
You're put into a manga, you are meraly a drawing, inanimate and not alive at all.
But hey, you're cute
>>340567537
It's retooled into a F2P multiplayer game with a heavy focus on VR
I wish for a Animal Crossing Game with a dating/sex simulator.
>>340567479
If monkey pay never existed then nothing can make your wish become true, therefore monkey paw still has first to exist.
>>340567604
The presumption of "intact" is that "everything is working as is right now/as was when it still worked"
You can't cut one of the strings of a guitar and call it intact
>>340567604
Blindness and deafness are decay of bodily functions
So yeah, if you become blind or deaf your body is no longer intact you moron
>>340567670
>anon called me cute
oh gosh
>>340567529
well he covered the "prevention of society" so universe should be ok
>>340567670
But anime=/=manga!
>>340567654
Granted, but your tip is just the tip of multiple penises.
>>340567697
Granted, but you can only fuck and date pic related.
I wish that nothing good will ever happen to anyone, ever, and no other wishes can ever reverse this effect.
>>340567746
A 40 year old person is heavily deteriorated from when they were 20 but that doesn't mean they're falling apart.
I wish for another monkey paw.
>>340567293
Granted. You become an anime sexdoll for some sweaty neckbeard
>>340565179
I'M GONNA DO IT GUYS FORGIVE ME, I WISH FOR ARMORED CORE 6, A SCI-FI SOULS GAME AND ZONE OF THE ENDERS 3
I CAN'T BE TAMED BY CONSEQUENCES
I wish the monkey's paw would make a fist so i could stick it in my ass.
>>340567906
You get it, but it's just a normal monkey's paw, freshly severed and dripping blood chock full of AIDS.
>>340567849
Fucking fine, it's adapted as a one shot poorly made single ep OVA at some point
I wish that only good things will happen to me (good in the american sense) and nothing bad can happen ever
>>340567874
Nothing bad ever happens either, locking humanity in a perpetually grey existence.
>>340567973
Granted. You got AIDS.
>>340567906
granted
but its your hand that turns into a monkey paw
to be rich
>>340567906
Granted, but it's a monkey hand that posses no magical abilities what's so ever.
>>340567973
granted
your hand is replaced with the paw
I wish for a megaman game that functions like a mix of pokemon and a dating sim so I can finally fuck Alia with my human dong.
>>340565457
Wait no, not like this!
>>340568120
Nice monogatari
>>340568067
Forever literally nothing is worse than always bad shit happening senpai
>>340566393
Thank you kind sir, for giving your life for our pleasures
>>340567779
Sure, for now. But he's immortal. In 2 billions years when the sun explode, he will still be alive. He will be alive after the human race is extinct.
For example, this guy just wanted to be able to read his books. So there was a massive nuclear war and now everybody is dead except him. And he has all the time to read his books.
Except his glasses fell on the ground and broke.
I wish my favorite game of all time would get a sequel!
W-wait! N-no! Not like this! NOOOOOOO!
i wish to be the god of bees
I wish for 2
>>340568056
Granted, but what constitutes "good in an American sense" is changed to one that you, and you alone, find negative.
>>340568092
You gain an mountain's worth of shovelware vidya who's collective worth is around 10 million dollars. And when I say shovelware, I mean half the pile is copies of NinjabreadMan.
>>340568274
Granted
But since a god of bees power is undefined by your wish, you are just like before
I want Final Fantasy II-2
>>340568317
you get a 7 instead
I on the other hand get that 2.
>>340568274
granted, all bees become atheists
>>340568319
Wouldnt that count as something bad?
>>340565726
Your translations are still full of memes, but they aren't new localized memes; they're the original japanese cultural jokes and memes so you don't understand them on top of it.
>>340568246
nothing will happen that will trigger the destruction of society
thus he wont be on a dead universe without anyone left, since the sun exploding would trigger the destruction of society, or the big bang, etcetera.
I wish for a Marvel's Comic universe game that has all the A-list heroes and plays like Smash Bros
>>340566910
Because of the fact that you're no longer a mortal, soon, when you'll realize that you don't need to eat, breathe, talk, move,... to stay "alive", you will find yourself having to choose between being a empty shell with no thoughts or dying.
>>340568475
Not to other people it wouldn't be.
What you consider bad maybe subversive to someone else.
>>340568274
Granted, but you are forced to fuck queen bees all day while they crawl into your penis.
This song also blares in your ears for the rest of your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1RYSy55KtA
>>340568551
Granted.
It plays like the worst parts of Brawl, with quadruple the tripping.
>>340568464
Just because they don't believe in him doesn't not make him their god.
>>340568475
The monkey paw finds the concept of bad subjective and arbitrary
>>340568551
Granted
But its never released
You didnt specify that you would actually get to play it
>>340568551
granted but its made by EA and has tons of paid dlc characters and skins
>>340568551
All the characters look and sound like their movie counterparts.
I wish I live in Gensokyo,and can't die
I wish everyone on /v/ was am air-headed gamer girl.
>>340565718
i said no weird suprises
>>340568724
He wished that he would have it though. How would he have it in his possession if it was never released?
>>340568527
The paw wont do it. But the universe will die by itself.
Exceptions are not wishes.
>>340568756
Granted, but you are a retarded Yukkuri.
>>340568768
*an
>>340568756
Granted, but you are an earthworm.
>>340568756
Granted
But all the woman of gensokyo come to the real world instead
>>340568776
>implying that's weird
>>340568768
Granted. 4chan gets dissolved and absorbed into tumblr
>>340568551
The game follows the cannon powerlevels so closely it is unplayable.
>>340568274
Granted. An eternally growing number of increasingly intelligent bees sacrifice their lifeforce to you, stinging you.
As you are a god of bees, the bees stinging you, dying and giving you their lifeforce cause you to be unable to die by any imaginable mean as you have become the strongest (and only) god of them all. Your power makes the bees exponentially smarter and they find a way to sting you faster and faster and how to prevent the heat death or collapse of the universe.
tl;dr eternity of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Could I get my waifu irl?
I wish to own all of the peppers in the world and they can never be grown anywhere else but my land, which is 100% thief proof so that no one can ever have my peppers but me
For /pol/ cossposters to leave this board and that Doomfist gets added this month
>>340568832
he wished for "nothing ever to trigger that destroys society" so i don't think the universe would ever die
yet probably this would cause time to stop flowing.
it's quite fun having such pointless arguments about impossible stuff that cant happen
>>340568756
Granted, but you're an ugly monster and everyone loves to bully you.
>>340569004
Yeah but she hates you
>>340569004
Granted, but they don't find you attractive, and no, you can't rape them or convince them otherwise.
>>340569004
You become your waifu.
I wish for times like a good old days
>>340566910
Granted. You still feel pain and are hit by a bus the next day. People learn you are immortal and are not filled with fear, but curiosity. You are hauled off to a government lab to undergo testing for the rest of your life.
>>340569069
She already hates me. Thanks, mate.
>>340565516
The turkey is a little dry.
>>340569004
Yes, but dead
>>340569004
She hates your guts and never want to see you again
I WISH THAT SQUARE ENIX WOULD DISAPPEAR
>>340565179
I wish I could have Fallout 4 on my Xbox One
>>340569151
No problem, the monkey's paw is a fair and just being occasionally.
>>340569004
Granted. You know about the anthony burch meme? Well...
>>340569128
Granted.
You become black.
>>340568673
>>340568724
>>340568739
>>340568753
>>340568984
I wish for a Marvel's comic universe video game that plays like Smash bros that ALSO
>I get to own and play
>The characters are true to their comic incarnations
>It's made by old school Nintendo
>That plays like a mix of 4 and Melee with no tripping
>The game is excellently balanced
>>340569042
They leave, but you have to go back to /lit/
>>340569121
Can I become my waifu irl as well?
>>340569004
She is dead and her body become dust
>>340569052
No. He wished to be immortal. With exceptions.
You cant say like "Oh I wish I could fly, but I'm also a rich guy and also dance really well"
That's 3 wishes.
>>340569004
Granted.
Pic related.
>>340569128
Granted.
By "good old days", you mean 1960s hippie culture, right?
I wish I had a space fleet and an army of battle robots at my command, and they are completely and totally loyal to me.
>>340569215
Alright but WHEN YOU WALK AWAY starts playing in your head and never stops.
>>340569037
Due to a legal hiccup you can never actually own any land. Peppers become impossible to grow.
I wish for a Moon Knight Netflix show.
>>340569215
Granted, but all major players simply remake the company under new branding and all of their associated products are unchanged.
>>340569361
i AM OKAY WITH THAT
>>340569257
Granted, but you.get arrested and a lifetime sentence as soon as you start the game
>>340569357
Alright but aliens don't exist so if you ever go into space you're not gonna find anything.
>>340569113
>>340569347
They don't need to find me attractive, I got them already.
>>340569121
She's pretty cool, wouldn't mind being her. Would prefer to be me with her, but still, decent.
>>340569179
>>340569192
>>340569241
>>340569312
You fuckers got me, though.
>>340569257
The only characters are really obscure ones.
>>340569361
That's fine. It's from the one good kingdom hearts game after all, by no coincidence also the first and only squaresoft one.
>>340569357
Granted, but your entire military gets curbstomped by stronger enemy forces.
>>340569341
he pretty much wished to be inmortal as first wish, to be able to die any time he wishes to do so as the second, and "none of the following will happen" as a third.
>>340569257
Sure, it's on the virtual boy
>>340569394
granted but its cancelled after a season for being a batman ripoff
>>340569305
please?
>>340565179
Make trilogy of games with story, as great as SH2, but much better gameplay and open world with sidequests crazy as Fallout 3.
>>340567236
So, life?
>>340569687
Granted but it will be 20 seconds long
I wish that Donald Trump personally killed me with his own bare hands.
>>340565179
Konami sells Kojima the Boktai IP and he gets to work on making a 3D cel-shaded installment running on a scaled down version of the FOX engine with real-time weather effects using local meteorological data for your area.
>>340569687
Granted as you requested it. Fallout 3 is shit and that's the negative twist.
>>340569685
>one season of face ripping and near death beatups
>>340568610
That directly fucks with the "Nothing will happen to my humanity" bit.
>>340569597
Not really. The first wish was to be immortal with a killswitch. The exception just limit the range of what could happen with the wish.
>>340569686
No sorry, only one waifu per thread.
>>340569775
granted but its hillary in a costume
>>340568756
I wish my waifu and me could spend an eternity living happily togetherAlso, where is the Yakumo residence in that picture?
I wish to live on Holy Terra and have Adepta Sororitas as my harem
I want battlefield to be more popular than autistic COD
>>340569775
Granted, but everyone thinks Hilary did it.
>>340569779
Granted, but he ends up going over budget again, so the game is released in an unfinished state.
>>340569872
Granted but you are an eunuch
>>340569861
Thats not fufilling my wish.
>>340569886
I am okay with this.
>>340569875
Granted, but nobody cares
>>340569875
Granted, but all of the autistic kiddies migrate to Battlefield while the more sensible people stick with COD
>>340569779
He sets to work, only to get fucked over by his devteam and only a playable teaser is released
>>340569875
COD is no longer popular because the clingey fanbase moved to your favourite game.
>>340569875
Granted
But world war 1 will be a complete disrespect to historical facts
>>340569875
Is it not already?
>>340570025
>>340569962
Any price for more Tactical Sunlight Action.
>>340569775
granted, you get killed by a mexican that legally changed his named to Donald Trump
i want the Norwegian crown
>>340565179
From now on, only good games will be made.
>>340570153
Granted, but Norway joins the EU.
I wish to be the little girl ( and that nobody rapes me )
I wish to make bad decisions all the time.
I want normies not to play videogames.
I WISH MIGHTY NO 9 WAS THE BEST GAME EVER MADE!
>>340565179
I WANT THE SPYRO SERIES TO GET ACTUAL GAMES, NONE OF THIS SKYLANDERS SHIT
>>340570189
Granted
But they will all be 1000 dollars (corrected by inflation and wages)
>>340570197
As the crown can't he just leave the EU?
>>340567621
memetics can't die
>>340568907
>crawl into Reimu's sandals and get squished by her tabi clad feet for all eternity
Sounds alright.
>>340570206
Nobody loves you, either.
>>340570206
granted
nobody rapes you because you're ugly disgusting 3DPD
enjoy your periods and eventually ending up bullied on /cgl/
>>340569775
Granted, but it's just some hobo who coincidentally is also named Donald Trump.
>>340570206
granted. you are a female midget
>>340569780
MOTHER FUCKER ILL KILL YOU
>>340570189
They still do not quell the aching vast emptiness inside you
>>340570271
Granted.
But it was cancelled because nobody backed it.
I wish everyone in this thread would reply to this post
>>340570279
Granted, but the game is as buggy and incomplete as Enter the Dragonfly.
>>340565179
I wish I could enjoy playing video games again
>>340570197
what no
why the fuck would we do that when we have the EFTA?
I want a girlfriend.
>she's nice
>she's beautiful
>she'll never leave / cuck me
>she has a great body
>>340570271
Mighty No. 9 is now the only game ever made, and therefore the best.
I want to be this girl, in real life, extremely cute, completely alive, and with nothing negative happening to me.
>>340570261
Granted, but your other hobby becomes a normie past time.
>>340570279
Granted, but it's a mobile only.
>>340570287
Constitutional monarchy son. You can't do shit.
I want the next Mass Effect to have an ending as good as 3's
>>340570189
Granted. Literally nothing but video games are made. No food, infastructure, jobs, or even consoles and computers.
new f-zero game that sucks
>>340570445
You could if you did, but you're too depressed to play any
>>340570408
Granted, but everyone ITT bullies you.
>>340570445
Granted, but you can never again go on /v/.
>>340565179
Increase my IQ by 40
Why the fuck would I ask for a game or some shit?
>>340570261
Granted, but the gaming industry as a whole collapses due to a significant drop in consumers
>>340566615
>Monkey Paw
>Twilight Zone
It's not fun if you don't even make your bait believable.
>>340570261
granted. but they deem videogames as immoral and destroy all videogames and videogame related items
>>340570519
>Granted, but your other hobby becomes a normie past time.
My what?
>>340570445
granted but playing that game will kill you
>>340570543
Granted. You now have an IQ of 41.
>>340570493
She dies of cancer the moment after she profess her undying love
Ps. Her body disappears, so no necrophilia
>>340570518
Granted, but she lives thousands of miles away from you and hates your guts.
>>340570493
Granted, but she likes all the video games you hate, and vice/versa.
>>340570493
You die a day after meeting her.
>>340569862
Please, Mr.Monkey Paw... I really want it...
>>340570629
I don't see the downside
>>340570528
It actually turns out good, but you're the only person who thinks it sucks. Everyone loves it, it gets tons of awards and played for years.
>>340570518
is being retarded negative ?
>>340570493
Granted but also you're gay
>>340570538
>Granted, but you can never again go on /v/
Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
>>340570519
>Constitutional monarchy son. You can't do shit.
>I'm the king
>But I can't do what I want
This means war.
>>340570493
She lives in an impenetrable glass box
>>340570521
The monkey paw explodes.
An Evangelion game by platinum games
>>340570543
granted but you will never enjoy anything ever again
>>340570673
>>340570684
Fuck, I always forget about death
>>340570732
And that
>>340570763
That would also be pretty shit
>>340570493
granted. but she has a sex change next week
>>340570674
But I am her. Am I in two places at once?
>>340570726
As long as I'm retarded in a cute ditzy way, no.
I wish I was a cute lesbian
I wish every human, otherkin furries included, on this earth died except for me.
>>340570742It would be if you still liked this place.I know I don't.
>>340570543
The test is restructured so 140 becomes the standard IQ, everyone shifts up 40 points without changing at all
>>340570678
Isn't that most of the world already?
>>340570493
Granted but she is a girl in another dimension that is in love with the you from that dimension
One day someone call you and its the girl from that dimension, after explaining stuff she will help you conquer her version from your dimension and you will help her conquer the you from that dimension
Love finds a way
>>340570896
Granted, sign up at tumblr.com/register
>>340570518
Granted. Everything negative happens to everyone else but you, leaving you totally alone with nothing.
>>340570612
Well The Twilight Zone is pretty much all Monkey Paw stuff.
But there was a full episode about it, except that it was a genie instead of a Paw.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0734658/
>>340569862
You become a cuckold and find yourself a fat coal burner as a waifu.
You're happy to watch her fuck bulls and bucks.
I wish Hiro doesn't split /v/ and /v/ stops bitching about how /v/ is shit.I love you /v/
>>340570903
Granted.
>>340570791
Granted, but the game has the budget of two cheeseburgers and a can of soda.
>>340570890
Oh shit, that's right. Anyway, everyone else is dead. All the negative stuff happened to them instead of you.
>>340571046
So... no special catch? I beat Hitler and Stalin's high score just like that?
>>340570963
>Cute lesbians
>on tumblr
>>340570896
You are, but only on the internet.
IRL you only get a crushing gender dysphoria and can't think about anything except the fact that you aren't a cute lesbian IRL.
>>340569862
granted. but she keeps you in the friend zone
>>340571032
Granted, but /v/ becomes the flat-out worst board on 4chan and the staff are completely incapable of fixing it.
>>340571140
The joke is only you think you're cute
>>340565316
More hats
>>340571138
Yep. Have fun being alone for a couple of years.
>>340571194
...just like now?
I wish to be a girl
>>340571032
Granted but hiro lights the fuse and you have to watch it burn.
>>340570896
Granted, but you live in Saudi Arabia, and people know you're a Lesbian.
>>340571138
Humans are naturally social creatures, and you will, not might, will go insane from the crippling loneliness.
>>340571141
But anon, nothing has changed
>>340571194
>Granted, but /v/ becomes the flat-out worst board on 4chan and the staff are completely incapable of fixing it.
So literally nothing changes.
>>340571194
Everyone thinks it is already and they're wrong.
/v/ is still pretty goo
>>340571191
>>340571014
As long as she is happy... Thank you Monkey Paw!
>>340571278
You become a girl, but your mind is completely warped into that of a girl's, and your memories are erased. Are you still you?
>>340571278
Granted, but you're 87.
I wish I had Dr Manhatten powers,go ahead try to find a flaw
>>340571032
granted. /v/ doesnt split and stops bitching. but it gets more shit
>>340571320
Kek
>>340571419
You do but only for one day
I wish the monkey's paw only sexually perverted wishes instead of just regularly perverted them
>>340571419
micro dick
>>340571419
Granted, but so does everyone else.
>>340571419
Granted but Robin Williams is still dead.
>>340565179
I wish video games could still make me happy
>>340571032
Granted, but all the video game boards are merged again, so this board gets all of /vg/, /vr/ and /vp/'s posters. Also, the "LE EPIC MEME XD" ironic shitposters from 2012 show up again.
>>340571495
Granted but the monkey's paw in question is out of charges so it has no effect
>>340571419
You have the powers, but rather then become detached you are super empathetic.
>>340571419
You hace to kill everyone, they're less logical than you. Then live alone with a giant dirt clock for the rest of time
>>340570493
Granted
She's black
>>340571376
You're happy with a fat coalburner waifu?
I wish I was Davros the Dalek.
I wish I never found this stupid monkey's paw thread!
>>340571419
granted. but youre a fictional comic character without sentinence
>>340565179
I wish to cancel out everyone else's wishes.Just as I pray to cancel out everyone else's prayers
>>340571553
>not even the monkey paw can bring him back
>>340571746
Granted but you also never found any other thread everMy life would probably be better if I had never found this place ;_;
>>340571746
granted but you're a faggot now
>>340571757
Okay but now you're gay.
I wish to be able to control the monkey paw
I wish I was a huge faggot and that you would rape my face!!
>>340571476
Do you know much how shit I can cause in one day with those powers
>>340571757
You make everyone else not wish for things they wished for. That is, they no longer want those thing to happen.
The consequences of their wishes are still there.
>>340571820
So no twist?
I wish everyone's wishes itt never happened
>>340571889
You're a huge faggot and get facefucked, but you're still straight.
Basically, you become Anthony Burch.
>>340571282
>Cute
>Saudi Arabia
>>340572001
Granted, but they all happen to you instead.
>>340571872
Granted. You become the monkey paw and must come up with catches for all the wishes you are used for from then on.
>>340572001
i wish your wish didn't happen
>>340568435
retards
I get 4!
>>340572001
Your wish isn't granted since you posted ITT, thus everything stays the same.
>>340572001
I wish you weren't so mean!
Ok monkey paw no problem,
I wish for you to kill yourself you fucking DUMB CHIMP HAND.
>>340572001
Granted
But now the monkey pawis only making non corrupted wishes to everyone but you
I wish everyone that's currently alive is immortal.
Including the billions of starving suffering people.
yw guys
I wish I wasn't gay or dead
>>340572127
You become the monkey paw
>>340572127
Granted
You become and replace the paw
>>340572145
Oh boy I now wish for hyperintelligence
Checkmate monkey's paw you have to give it to me now
>>340571708
granted. you are now a rubber suit thats kept in a cupboard
>>340571872
granted. but it has no wishes remaining
>>340572225
Everyone becomes too stupid to understand you
I wish Hitler came back to life just to say how sorry he is for Holocaust.
i wish my gf had moneypaws
>>340565179
To lose my virginity
>>340572347
That's fine, I can do everything myself
I'll build a perfect spaceship and go explore the stars with my ship's AI and play Space Engine IRL
Get fucked, dumb humanity
>>340572372
He apologizes for the Holocaust, but then he goes on to do something much worse.
>>340572395
Think King Midas, only Queen Midas.
>>340572439
You lose it to a dodongo
>>340572439
granted but its your anal virginty by fat and smelly dude
>>340572145
I wish everyone's wished were fulfilled, uncorrupted now save for the person you replied to.
>>340572372
Granted, but you are now his best friend and only source of comfort so he is constantly dependent on you and is always around you. Especially in public
>>340572439
You get bumfucked by a bum.
>>340572193
granted. but all the suffering is only felt by you
>>340572204
granted. you are now a woman and slave to jamal
The Monkey Paw becomes my girlfriend.
>She's cute
>She's my age
>We die at the same time
>We both die of old age in 80 years
>She isn't trapped
>She will never leave / cuck me
>I will love her even if I'm gay
>We aren't interested in sex changes
I want to have total control over every aspect of my life.
I wish to die instantly.
>>340572545
I wouldn't mind that.
>>340572225
Granted, but the monkey paw will come to bully you every night because only stupid people wish for intelligence
>>340572607
Granted, the monkey paw replaces your right hand.
>>340572372
Granted but he doesn't quit after that. He just keeps kind of stumbling around streets mumbling apologies to people about the holocaust. Nobody even actually believes he's hitler. But he just has to keep going around, self-conscious and whispering "s-sorry about the juden" and it's just really sad.
>>340572607
granted. but you are instantly transported forward in time by 80 years
>>340572656
granted. but you can only make bad choices
>>340572395
>>340572496
She turns you into an inanimate statue of gold when she tries to hug you.
>>340565179
Console war threads are banned.
>>340572607
Granted, but you're the one who is trapped, not her.
>>340572607
Its just a petrified monkey paw. Seriously dude
>>340572607
granted but she's gay
>>340572607
It's still just a monkey paw. The monkey who lost the paw gets you arrested for bestiality.
I wish to become a cute loli.
>>340565457
You do, butit solidifies Other M in the canon. Samus continues to be a completely one dimensional character.
>>340572607
She doesn't love you, is cute only for herself and not for you (she's HAES landwhale), stays with you only to tell you inane boring drama, doesn't cuck you only because nobody but you wants her and you're incapable of not-loving her.
>>340572684
You revive seconds later.
>>340565179
Monkey Paw hear my plea, I wish the internet was destroyed and never rebuilt under this or any other name, all video games removed from this earth never to return, autismbux stopped being funded tonight, I keep my health and get rich, finally the paw is returned to the monkey.
>>340572684
granted. you also come back to life instantly
>>340572656
granted but it literally everything
each time you try to use that power you get traped in a tiny space trying to control each atom in your body
you can only control one thing at the time
>>340569875
Granted but all the shit gameplay aspects in COD move to Battlefield which is why the fanbase migrates as well.
>>340572842
Everytime someone clicks on you, you get raped
I wish everyone was redpilled
i wish i could think of something to wish for
>>340573017
Granted. Magic doesn't exist, retard.
>>340572684
You die only on the inside.
I wish for nothing
>>340565179
I wish for the permanent/complete death/destruction of everything/anything in the entirety of existence for all time present, past, and future.
>>340573074
Granted. You spend the next 40 years of your life on 4chan.
>>340573074
Granted but you're now greedy, lustful, and envious.
>>340572801
>>340572926
That's not total control. :^)
>>340573074
granted but you get disappointed anyway
>>340573074
The paw flips you off
>>340573074
You get it. Monkey paw disappears
>>340570493
Your wish is true, you now want a girlfriend who's nice, beautiful, has a great body and will never leave / cuck you.
You meet her and she'll never leave you, but you'll never get together either.
>>340573017
All men turn into gigantic fedora neckbeards who spew PUA shit all the time.
Women become fat and stop trying to care about anything.
I want a loli harem!
>>340573036
Granted, but the only wishes you think of are those with strictly negative effects.
>>340573247
Granted but you're now emotionless and a eunuch
>>340573094
Cool! I want a Gamecube :)
I wish for /v/ to finally die
>>340573036
granted. you are only capable of thinking of wishes and nothing else
>>340573074
granted. all your belongings and eveything you own are taken from you. you live naked and alone unable to have anything
>>340573247
Granted, you die within 10 seconds of getting it.
>>340573296
>implying that a loli harem is meant for sexual purposes
Why would I try to make them impure? I just want to be surrounded by the cute.
>>340573247
Soon, a loli will reveal that she is from the police
>>340565251
Dishonored 2
>>340565179
I wish for the Kingdom hearts plot to be less mind-bogglingly stupid and complicated
>>340573074
All existence as we know it ceases to be.
>>340573325
granted. but you now constantly hear the thoughts of anyone who ever posted on /v/
>>340573475
Damn, what a horrible twist.
I wish my blood was made of poison
>>340573325
Granted, but all remaining places to discuss video games are much worse than /v/.
>>340570960
EVERY THREAD FINDS A WAY
>>340573540
But I finally get to leave this place? Cool.
>>340569152
you monster!
>>340573623
But you're stuck here forever because you're constantly bombarded with dumbass opinions but you can't respond to them or do anything about it
>>340573567
Granted, but you're immune.
>>340573515
Granted, but now the story is generic and dull to cater to a wider demographic. Combat is also dumbed down as well.
I wish
>>340573515
granted. it is now 0.001% less mind-bogglingly stupid and complicated. they achieve this by removing your favourite character
>>340573821
Granted but the ocean is cooler.
>>340565179
I wish a nigga would
>>340572528
>>340572532
>>340572552
Kek you guys are assholes
>>340573537
>All existence as we know it ceases to be.
good
>>340573567
Your blood is made of blood with some piss in it.
It will kill anyone who drinks enough of it at once, but it has to be a whole lot of it.
A new Paper Mario game that is just as good as the first 2 games,and the game is exclusively for the NX,no dlc or jew shit at all,no SJW shit,no random developer dying,and the game is release world wide translated in english at an affordable price
>>340573897
he does. but you hate that he does
>>340565884
احمد الله
>>340573993
granted. But you are unable to play it
>>340573993
It's just a HD re-release.
i wish to kill every frogposter
>>340573776
How could you possibly dumb down Kingdom Hearts? It takes the JRPG formula of stat-based combat and makes it more accessible by having HP and mana bars visually represented rather than numerically represented. That's like saying someone dumbed down Plants vs Zombies.
>>340573993
Granted but there's one part in it on the second chapter that you can't beat for some reason but everyone else in the world passes without any problem whatsoever, so there are never any guides and nobody is willing to do it for you.
So which asshat do you think wished for Zelda at E3
>>340565179I wish video games were cool and popular
I wish that for a monkey paw that can make uncorrupted wishes and that nothing would happen with me or the paw before I make a wish with it
>>340565179
I refuse.
>>340574192
A new meme develops and quickly becomes frogposting 2.0
>>340574249
Probably this asshole
>>340570408
>>340574192
Granted, all frogposters contract a super virus that spreads to the general population
Humanity goes extinct in less than 3 years
>>340574317
As you wish, nothing happens to you or the paw, because you both don't exist.
>>340566910
Granted, but you are framed for killing your wife and sent to life in prison.Checkmate.
>>340574057
Ahmad allah?
>>340574474
If I cease to exist then something is happening to me
>>340574317
granted. but nothing at all involving you or the paw is able to happen
>>340574317
You become frozen in time forever so that nothing can happen to you.
>>340574551
the thing happening to you ceases to exist as well
>>340574404
good
I wish monkeys never existed
>>340574551
Then "the paw" refers to the paw you made this wish with
>>340574317
>>340573993
Granted, the game is a critical success, gets 10/10's on all review websites. It's everything you ever hoped for.But because it's affordable it's always sold out where ever you go, you try to download it from the eshop but it's always down due to high traffic from everyone buying the game. No one will lend you the game because they can't stop playing it and it's protected by Deveno so you can't pirate it
>>340574662
Granted
The paw is now an ape paw
I wish the monkey paw would fuck me.
>>340574662
granted
the monkey paw turns into a human handits your hand
>>340574606
Okay this one is legit gotta admit
>>340574796
It fucks you over
>>340574796
Granted
It takes all your money and leaves you unsatisfied
>>340574516
How do you read Arabic without the "Harakat" I think you call it.
BTW I wish 343 didn't take over Halo.
>>340567704
You just described the paradox
I wish this thread was exempt from bump limit or that someone made a new one.
>>340574975
Granted, but mods deleted it and perma-banned OP
>>340574975
The new thread gets deleted by the mods for being mostly off-topic.
>>340574975
Granted, but the mod deletes it seconds later.
I wish to be in excruciating pain every day and immortal
I wish for it to only grant wishes according to my interpretation
(by doing so it cannot alter me or itself in anyway,neither can it alter the existence and nonexistence of concepts without my consent and for each time it tries to screw me over it has to automatically rewrite the wish according to my parameters and restore order according to my parameters, this rule applies to all dimensions,universes,existences and nonexistences)
And after that I would finally be free of its curse
>>340575275
>I wish for it to only grant wishes according to my interpretation
It grants you wishes according to how it interprets your interpretation.
>>340575236
The pain overwhelms you so much that you eventually go numb and can't feel it anymore.
>>340575275
Granted, but you're out of wishes
>>340566910
>You cant get AIDS
fine but you get cancer, its incurable but cant kill you so you have to live with it for eternity
>>340575410
which is why I stated all that BS as a cover all statement
>>340575470
I thought I get 3?
>>340575592
>I thought I get 3?
OP says make A wish
Sorry pal, but you used yours :^)
>>340567479
The Monkey Paw ceases to exist, along with everything else in the world and universe. All is dust
>>340575592
>which is why I stated all that BS as a cover all statement
It still is the one to interpret what constitutes your consent and screwing you, though. And is not limited in any way in doing so if it can find a favorable interpretation.
I wish to be immortal, invincible, and never physically age.
>>340575275
Granted, but the monkey paw gets stolen before you can make a wish after your first wish.
>>340575827
You are doomed to live through the heat death of the universe in constant, agonizing pain for literally eternity
I wish for humanity to be wiped out from existence and is replaced by a better and far more stronger species that isn't a bunch of faggots
