WEEEEEELL HE AIN'T MY BOY

BUT I AM RAISING HIM ANYWAY

i haet u

Episode 3

Love,

/v/

>e-celeb thread

Fuck off

Wanna fling flong my ding a long ?

Is it just me or is Gabe Newell no longer the visible public figurehead for Valve that he used to be?

exercise

Make a better Counterstrike

I was only 9 years old. I loved Gaben so much. I had all the Valve software and action figures. I pray to Gaben every night before bed. Thanking him for the life I've been given. "Gaben is love," I say. "Gaben is Life." My dad hears me and tells me games are suppose to be $60. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to the Gaben. I called him a idiot for paying $60 for a medicore game. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it is really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Gaben. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "this is my coupon." He grabs me with his powerful Gaben hands. He puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for Gaben. He grabs my wallet and throws games at me. It hurts, but I do it for Gaben. I can feel my wallet get lighter and my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Gaben. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my library with his games. My dad walks in. Gaben looks him straight in the eye and says, "Half Life 3." Gabe leaves through my window.

>>337631932
I saw Gabe Newell at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.