>ABLOOBLOO I HATE BEING A BADASS MONSTER SLAYER. I WISH I WAS A PEASANT STANDING ANKLE DEEP IN GOAT SHIT ABLOO. I HATE YOU DADDY.
What an insufferable character.
indeed a cock........
>>336270526
What a prick
>>336270526
His father basically sold him because witcher payment you fucking nigger. He has a reason to be pissed.
>>336270526
there's more to being a witcher than just being a badass monster slayer
People tend to grow up with some psyche problems when they are taken from childhood at their father's request and subjected to the rigor and pain that has to do with the witcher training and mutations. Shit's not rocket science.
THIS IS A JOB.....FOR VESEMIR
SUMMON THE BITCHES
>>336270526
He gets 2nd best girl, so I think his life worked out well in the end.
>>336271102
>girl
get you're eyes checked baka.
>>336271193
here we go.
>>336270526
>have to risk life fighting against some fucked up shit for a couple of coins.
>people hate you because you're a mutant-supersoldier
>your dad sold you to withcers, so they can do all those fucke up mutations on you
Oh, I don't know, OP. Maybe you should stop being a retard?
>>336270897
He hated his father anyways
>>336270526
>ABLOOBLOO I HATE BEING A BADASS MONSTER SLAYER. I WISH I WAS A PEASANT STANDING ANKLE DEEP IN GOAT SHIT ABLOO.
That's literally what Geralt wanted though.
>>336270526
>mutations give you a perfect body for life without having to work out
>can fuck anybody you want on the planet without getting a disease or knocking them up
>don't get sick unless you stand face first in monster poison for long amounts of time and never take a potion before or after
>heal fast as fuck
>get to look 40 when you're 100
>get to live to 200+ if you aren't shit at what you do
>super senses, speed, hearing, eyes, nightvision, all the standard shit you could want
>magic spells like shooting fire, creating shields, even mind tricking people
>group of bros back home at your castle where you can do whatever you want outside the law of the land because its secret
What a cunt. This faggot could build a shack out near Kaer Morhen and hunt deer his whole life and live happy and peaceful as fuck doing nothing but relaxing and going into town to drink and bang chicks. But he chooses to keep on the path like most witchers and whine about his dead beat dad
Without the witchers he'd have died 3 wars ago in a ditch if he was even that lucky
>>336271629
it's worse for geralt, his mother basically abandoned him
he could've been a mage if she didn't
>>336272236
he still could have been one, he said no
>>336272236
From what we've seen of male sorcerors I'd say he got a better deal
>>336270526
This guy was honestly the most cringeworthy character in recent memory. He had such an edgelord vibe to him, I honestly thought he was a joke character intended to be laughed at. It doesn't help that he looks like some 50 year old high school janitor with a receding hairline, yet had the personality and wit of a 17 year old.
>>336272368
they actually get a nicer deal than girls
>>336272109
All of them complain about how shit their life is and don't consider how fucking great they are
Witchers? more like bitchers am i rigth
>>336272109
I don't think you understand.
He doesn't hate being a witcher per se, he hates the entire system and concept of making witchers. He already lucked out since the Trail of Grass has a 10% survival rate, and many children die even before that.
He never asked for this.
>>336272368
>From what we've seen of male sorcerors
>Hasn't read the books
>Doesn't know about Vilgefortz
>>336272757
Ended up with a freaky fake eye.
>>336272654
Geralt has been knighted like 7 times and would be filthy fucking rich if it weren't for plot like Foltest dying the same day he offered to let Geralt retire rich as fuck. The others are just stupid as fuck for going after peasant contracts
>>336272686
>He doesn't hate being a witcher per se, he hates the entire system and concept of making witchers.
Well lucky for the little bitch they stopped making Witchers then. He got everything he ever wanted
>>336270526
He keeps that one witch from trying to "fwb" you in front of yenn. 8/10 wing man, unless you get Letho, then he is 7/10.
>>336272869
as opposed to Phil's no eyes?
>>336272869
Still better then being Dethmold. What an aweful name
>>336272925
>Well lucky for the little bitch they stopped making Witchers then. He got everything he ever wanted
Doesn't make him any less salty about the times when they were still being made.
>>336273021
Phil eyes could be regenerated, it's just that she was on the run and couldn't do it at the moment.
If I remember correctly Vilgefortzs eye got fucked so hard he couldn't regenerate it.
>>336273148
it's fine in polish
sounds stupid in english
LAMBERT... YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS
>>336270996
I think I just hate Lambert because he's a whiny dick.
You can make that kind of character likeable, but they have to at least be witty. All he does is bitch and moan and it gets grating after awhile.
I actively avoided talking to him in game because it was reminiscent of a girlfriend being on the rag.
>>336273285
>If I remember correctly Vilgefortzs eye got fucked so hard he couldn't regenerate it.
No, he just didn't have enough time to finish. They were only about half-way there when Geralt's JRPG party fought the final boss.
Philippa was duplicating his spell and had more time to work on/refine it.
Lambert is the best ... B E S T
i love geralt, but lambert is the best
T H E
B E S T
>>336270526
>Lambert takes Vesemirs death the hardest
Pretty sad stuff famalam
How could they fuck up the UI so bad? 30 different buffs you have to rummage through because there's no way to set favourites, 15 oils which you have to apply individually everytime you ran into a specific enemy group.
Almost everything about the way this game handles is utterly tedious, which is really too fucking considering how nice it is to fuck around int he game.
>>336274213
The good thing is that you always have options to tell him exactly that and he won't hold a grudge over it.
I wish they would have made Lambert more like he was in the books and kept his appearance from TW1 rather than the short, pudgy face he has in TW3.
I want them to make an Eskel game and fix his scar. The scar he should have would look much cooler than the one in game. "Deformed by a long, ugly, semicircular scar running from the corner of his mouth across the length of his cheek up to his ear." I swear the character designers at CDPR only received super basic descriptions of each character.
>>336272686
Actually the trial has a 30% survival rate
>>336274638
It gets even worse whenever you have a fuck huge amount of crafting materials and it takes forever for your inventory to load.
>>336274957
>It gets even worse whenever you have a fuck huge amount of crafting materials and it takes forever for your inventory to load.
There's way too many craft items in general, it is a nightmare to figure out what you actually need and what is trash.
>>336274826
No, I know that. I appreciate it even. It still doesn't make me like the guy though.
But then, maybe you're meant to think of him as a crybaby you need to begrudgingly work with. Maybe it's effective writing.
All I know is I'd rather witch fools with Eskel instead.
Was it justified?
>>336270526
He's just jealous of Geralt. Unlike Eskel who's content at being a non superhero witcher (as in only bangs nobility, not sorceresses), Lambert looks up to Geralt and wishes he can be like him.
That's why his happy ending has him banging a sorceress and become a minor celebrity that helped said sorceress cure the plague.
He's too jealous of Geralt to realise he has it pretty good himself.
Doesn't help that he's the youngest of the three.
>>336275112
>But then, maybe you're meant to think of him as a crybaby
Of course, in all of the books and all three games people were making jokes about how nobody likes being around Lambert for his whining and dickish attitude.
>>336275246
No, he's a cunt.
>>336275246
If you killed him you don't know shit about being a Witcher
>>336275246
On one side:
>Cheated by the village.
>Nearly killed by them despite doing the job.
On the other:
>Killed absolutely everyone in said village.
>Witcher from School of the Cat so probably a psycho.
I let him live. Villagers can be scum and killing the last few competent monster hunters left won't make things better. It's never a good thing to kill a fellow witcher.
>>336272925
>The others are just stupid as fuck for going after peasant contracts
Nah, the thing about Witchers is they're basically designed to not want to settle down. Even Geralt, whose aspirations were to retire and be a farmer with Yen and Ciri, got restless.
>>336270526
Lambert was the best thing in the game for me. I'm an insufferable, cringey prick just like him in rl. I even look a bit like him.
>>336274638
It's because since TW2 CDPR made them games more "console-ized" as they called it. Having a PC UI doesn't work on console due to the lack of a mouse.
>>336275653
he also throws a bomb at you before the fight starts
he's a hack and deserves to be put down
>>336275246
>village asked him to kill a Leshen for something like 30 crowns
>he reluctantly does it
>they trick him into following them into the barn to "pay him"
several villagers attempt to kill him so they can skimp out on paying him
Yeah, it was 100% justified. Those peasants knew what they were doing and what the risk was.
>>336276584
>Doesn't throw a Samum or Devil's Puffball before a fight
>Is a Witcher
Pick one, anon.
>>336275246
>Do this quest while wearing full Cat School gear
>As I approach him he says something like "What are you, some kind of wolf and cat crossbreed?"
That was a neat touch
>>336275112
>But then, maybe you're meant to think of him as a crybaby you need to begrudgingly work with.
That's it. Even Eskel, who is calm as a still pond, says that the only way he will work with Lambert is by avoiding the vast majority of topics when talking with him.
It's why Lambert will constantly egg on Vesimir, why he would bring up Triss while talking with Yen and Geralt, and why he generally fucks with everyone. Because he's an asshole who hates his life, but has no way of expressing it except for taking it out on the people closest to him. He knows where the line is, and he goes out of his way to cross it. But he's also one of the few witchers that remains, and is almost as talented at it as Geralt.
>>336276668
No it wasn't you psychopath.
Granted the first ones who tried to skimp, yes those retards who attempted to murder a goddamn mutant-superhunter who fights giant fucking monsters for a living deserved it for being 1. Massive retards 2. Cheating cunts.
but then that faggot decides ABLOOOBLOOO i'm gonna kill all the peasants in the village who were not related to the crime in any way isn't my life hard ;_; pity me.
>>336270526
Say what you want, but you don't even need to ask him to fight your battles for you. He can be a real asshole but he's a real bro too.
>ywn go on an epic hunt with all the other Wolf School witchers
>and Letho
>>336276668
>Those peasants knew what they were doing
Yes, I'm sure those 10 year-olds were in on it. They probably masterminded the whole scam!
>>336277001
I found him quite hilarious at points.
Especially the bit crossing the water in the boat.
>Hey want to hear a limerick.
>Yeah sure.
>Lambert Lambert, What a prick.
Plus the whole vesemir impersonation
>>336277453
>Especially the bit crossing the water in the boat.
God, talking about fishing with him was the best.
>"I use the boat for fishing."
>"I didn't take you for the fishing type."
>"I throw bombs in and then skim what floats to the top."
Classic Lambert
>>336276668
>>336277316
>>336277453
Geralt literally did the same thing in Blaviken hence since nickname. If you actually think that Geralt can judge over him you are a shit tier subhuman
>>336277316
>>336277410
Then it's the fucking village elders fault for endangering the lives of his village.
A village elder is supposed to look out for the safety of his village and make decisions based on that. He knew exactly what would happen to the village if he wasn't able to kill the witcher.
**Note that I say village instead of individual people to make this concept easier to grasp for autists.**
>>336277671
Blaviken was different. He found out about a group of people who were going to kill someone, and he took it to himself to stop them.
However, because they hadn't actually DONE anything yet, it looked like he just murdered a bunch of people out of nowhere.
>>336275246
GAS THE CATFAGS
Literal and total scum. I killed that little vermin with glee.
>>336277671
>literally did the same thing
He killed a group of literal bandits who had previously told him of their plot to start murdering townsfolk
>>336275246
CAT VS WOLF
>>336277410
>>336277316
Even if thet couldnt pay him crowns, hed have taken the first thing the perdon daw when they got home. So, that would mean a new witcher. Even though the boy would go to the school filled with literal assassins, they had ways to pay him even if they couldn't pay him in money.
The village fucked up by hiring him and not having the necessary funds to pay for the service, they fucked up even further by attempting to kill him
In the end, they deserved it
>Ermion is Mousesack
Fuck. I'm an idiot.
>>336278338
Excuse all my typos by the way. I'm retarded.
>>336278338
Yes. The entire village deserved death for the actions of a few retarded seniors.
>>336278461
You're right. You are retarded.
>>336278357
I figured this out but thought it was really weird that the game never explicitly says it anywhere
>>336277748
Good so everyone in germany deserved to be butchered because of hitler?
I mean the leader is supposed to look out for the safety of his people.
So they must die as well :^).
Making it simple since it's clear you're autistic.
>>336278338
>new witchers
There are no new witchers
>>336277671
I get the feeling you didn't even read the book.
>>336277748
This has nothing to do with hitler?
How fucking autistic can you be to make a hitler analogy instead of actually counter-arguing what I said. He killed ~30 people whose lives were probably really insignificant if they couldnt pay a witcher 30 fucking crowns.
>>336279358
Whoops meant this kid
>>336278651
>>336277410
>>336277316
not to fucking mention if you investigate you figure out he was suspicious he would get betrayed yet still went on with itand he's done this before. He has a history of doing thisif that didn't seal the deal for you then you are retarded. He lost sight of what a witcher is for: to protect the people, not to destroy them
>>336279358
Yeah its fine murdering an entire village for the actions of 1-3 people.
You autistic sociopath. I made the hitler analogy because you seem to have difficulty with getting the concept that killing an entire village for the crimes of a few villagers is fucking autistic.
Like yourself.
>>336279793
>suspicious he would get betrayed yet still went on with it
Sounds like he's ridding the countryside of people who would happily murder witchers, the people that everyone fucking relies on for survival.
I think he's doing a good thing, he's like a wandering honeypot
>>336279878
not to mention, killing desperate poor villagers, in a war zone, with a monster infestation, is pretty fucking cruel
>>336280045
>Sounds like he's ridding the countryside of people who would happily murder witchers, the people that everyone fucking relies on for survival.
And their children, And their unwitting friends, and those people's friends, and their dogs, and their neighbours.
MUH WITCHER LIFE IS HARD ;_;
WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST LET ME MURDER INNOCENTS BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE MY OWN BUTTHURT RAGE.
>>336280045
>Sounds like he's ridding the countryside of people who would happily murder witchers, the people that everyone fucking relies on for survival.
the point of a witcher is to protect the people, not to slaughter them. He lost sight of the purpose of his existence, therefore justifying him being put down
>>336279878
>>336280215
You seem upset
>>336280270
He is protecting people, he's protecting witchers from murderers and setting an example for what happens if you betray a witcher. He is establishing a clear penalty for doing what they did, if they keep doing it then that is their fault desu.
>>336279878
>village elder is supposed to look out for the safety of his village
>puts his village in danger
What about this do you not understand?
If the village fucking elder somehow captures a leshen, for example, and it somehow gets free and kills the entire village. Youre telling me, that it's the leshens fault he killed the entire village and not the village elders?
Witcher's aren't necessarily sane people. Maybe this guy is a psychopath due to the chemicals from the trial of the grasses affecting his brain chemistry differently than the other schools. (would explain the mass amount of psychopaths in the cat school). You cannot just assume that he didnt just black-out and it happened. It's not like he necessarily wanted to kill the whole village, but he was put in this position of blind rage BY THE VILLAGE ELDER.
Please use your brain just a little before you write something next time.
>A couple people fuck you over
>Better kill the entire village
This is a dumb argument.
>>336275246
>some yokel asks me to kill a "dragon"
>it was a babby wyvern
>no biggie
>turn in
>Was it a dragon?!
>Nah, it was a vywern, here's its head as proof.
>Then reward will be less, cuz i'm a dumb fuck and don't what dragon is
Fucking peasants. Next time, go ask army to kill your monsters.
>abloo
shift+left click
>>336280856
>some yokel asks me to kill a "dragon"
I so wanted that quest to be real so it'd be something different than all the normal monster hunts.
>>336275246
If you go to his hideout there is trophies on the wall not turned in for payment. So its sort of implied that he may of been screwing over other people too.
The only reason you keep trophies is because gameplay
>>336281180
If Geralt believed it was a dragon he wouldn't hunt it. He doesn't like fucking with dragons or sentient creatures and sometimes they overlap. I'm kind of disappointed Three Jackdaws never made an appearance in game besides Gwent
>>336275257
What armor does geralt have in that screenshot mate?
>>336281462
I wish there was a way to keep your trophies somewhere.
Like a wall in Kaer Morhen you could mount them on. I don't see the point in selling them because you get fuck all for them
>>336281513
There's a quest on Skellige where you deal with several sentient magical creatures. Depending on your actions towards similar creatures in your other quests they may forgive you or attack you.
>>336281513
True, buthis daughter does.
This point has probably raised already in this thread, but the games did not really get into how much it sucks being a Witcher.
Geralt has it the best because he's a living legend, and even he goes weeks without any pay or shelter because the monsters are 1. Almost entirely extinct and 2. Are now hiding behind walls and laws.
When the books take place, witchers are basically waiting to die an undignified death at the hands of a drowner while peasants spit on them and try to avoid paying them after they hire them to break a curse only to be told that their dickrot is just because they don't wash themselves.
>>336281912
It's not the same, Saskia doesn't have the bantz or Tea and Vea
>>336281765
One of the middle Griffin Schools, by the look of it.
>>336280431
I just dislike people advocating for the murder of people in the same region as someone who deserves it.
>>336280747
Oh ok so you are literally autistic.
>Wild animal gets free and murders people.
Compared to
>Sentient human gets betrayed and decides to murder entire village instead of only the betrayers.
Durrrrrrr.
I'm sincerely glad you're here on /v/ and not in real life. You'd be a danger to anyone around you.
>>336282002
there's a quest in 3 about a random witcher being almost lynched by a mob and him butchering the peasants in return
it did trasmit the feeling of "not-Geralt witchers" kinda well
Letho, on the other hand, is a bro. I like his voice, as well.
>>336275246
Yeah, witchers gotta stick together
Bros for life
>>336281462
>So its sort of implied that he may of been screwing over other people too.
wasn't it implied that he had them because other people refused to pay him for his work, so he just kept them?
>waaaaa it's not fair, instead of being sold to a smithy, stable or ship daddy sent me off to get FUCKING SUPERPOWERS
>>336275246
Regardless of whether or not he was justified, I'd already promised a little girl that I would enact justice on behalf of all those she loved.
>>336283785
Well you get that superpower over intense training, insanely painful mutation process, and get to see two thirds of all the friends you made in those years die during the same process. And Lambert was lamenting death of his friend the most out of all that. When you're a blacksmith apprentice you just have to carry heavy stuff, nobody's murdering all the people you know and love, not in normal circumstances at least.
Breh being a witcher is shit
You only think they're great because Geralt is the most famous witcher so he gets to do cool shit and even he gets shat on by every peasant he meets
The normal witcher does the same shit jobs like drowners over and over only to be paid a handful of coins
>>336270526
Being a witcher ain't easy. Sure you get enhanced human abilities, immunity to most poisons and diseases and an aura of fear, is it worth being reviled by most people, a wandering loner with no home or peace, possibly end up killed by a bunch of drowners for pennies and infertile? I thought Lambert added some thought to how being a witcher is pretty shitty, not some great life as a super hero.
>>336287041
If you were sent off to be a powder monkey you'd get all that and more with no super powers to show for it.
>>336287410
>>336287791
Also remember that Geralt got given more shit because he could handle it.
Give me one good reason why I should like TW3.
>Lambert gets a personal quest outside of Kaer Morhen
>Eskel doesn't
>>336288613
It's pretty
>>336280747
>comparing a Leshen rampaging through a village to the calculated slaughter of a witcher
>this entire fucking paragraph:
"Witcher's aren't necessarily sane people. Maybe this guy is a psychopath due to the chemicals from the trial of the grasses affecting his brain chemistry differently than the other schools. (would explain the mass amount of psychopaths in the cat school). You cannot just assume that he didnt just black-out and it happened. It's not like he necessarily wanted to kill the whole village, but he was put in this position of blind rage BY THE VILLAGE ELDER."
>Please use your brain just a little before you write something next time.
Nigga, you first.
>>336288901
Pretty how?
>>336288995
pretty incredible
>>336275246
I still have yet to even find this fucking quest after 800 hours gametime.
>>336288613
Ciri
>>336289105
Yeah, pretty incredible how fast it made me fall asleep.
Most boring game I've played in years. Next?
>>336270526
Hes had a rough life senpai, being a Witcher is not the high life. At least his attitude is explainable.
>>336289249
I don't give a shit mate, your problem to be honest
>>336289249
>Next?
Yes, you should just move onto the next thread, no one even really know what you're doing in here anyway.
>>336289119
Do you have the DLC downloaded?
http://www.gosunoob.com/witcher-3/where-the-cat-and-wolf-play/
>>336289382
>>336289509
Faggots bein mad as hell that their 100 hour snorefest isn't universally loved.
Who the hell would want to play the same tired shallow gameplay for that long, just to listen to a shitty story about bitchy Gary Stues?
>>336270526
>whiny shit head character
>literally cucks you out of best girl
Fuck this game
Fucking disgusting polacks and their disgusting taste
>>336289119
How the fuck did you play it that long? And I thought I had a crazy amount of hours with 300.
>>336289906
Why even come into this thread if you don't like the game?
Just go play whatever game you like
>>336290002
>best girl
>man face with saggy tits
>tfw you couldn't bang the real best girl
She was clearly asking for the D
>>336289906
>>336289249
Someone is salty that they couldn't beat the game and put it down after 2 hours of struggling because he's a fucking casual baby. x
>>336289906
>L-look at me I don't like this game
>Ok you're fine to hold your opinion
>FUCKING WITCHERFAGS TRYING TO MAKE ME PLAY THEIR BORING GAMES
Why do you even bother coming to these threads then if they revolve around games you dislike. Only here to shitpost and bait out (You)s so you can feel like the king?
