Remember when Steam had quality control?
http://store.steampowered.com/app/445730/
the joke is that watching paint dry is boring
>>332238742
Yeah but there's like no fucking point for a game like this to be on Steam. This is something you find on a forum website, not on a professional gaming market. This guy or thing probably made it in like 5 minutes.
This is why steam has no quality control.
>>332240168
what? plenty of people will buy this and stream it on twitch for le zany and wacky epic lulz to be had kappa
the joke is LP memeers will be paid 20 grand to "play" this and convince braindead tween followers to buy it up like hotcakes.
>>332240168
>5 minutes
Depends, are you counting the 2 1/2 minutes to install renpy if you don't already have it installed?
It's literally 3 lines of dialogue, the default title screen layout, and an image from google.
You can probably speedrun the whole process in under a minute.
>>332238381
Steam is a store, you fucking idiot.
>>332240354
You know actual stores don't allow every game to be on their shelf.
Why do you need people to fucking tell you what is okay to buy, are you learning impaired?
The whole point is for it to be a free market. You want some sort of shit babysitter to handle your wallet for you because you can't be trusted with it, EA, ubisoft, apple and windows 10 all have nice little stores they're dying for you to jump on.
Retards like this getting mad that something exists that they would never buy are literally indistinguishable from SJW's.
>>332240270
You're right though.
Games like this are the ones that get the most popularity. The most money, because people are idiots, and don't spend their money on things who assert hardwork on their projects.
>>332240354
i tried to get gamestop to sell my indie pixel game i made in 2 hours but they didnt let me
what gives????????????
>>332241076
Because flooding the market with shit obscures all the quality work you fucking retard.
>Why do we have trash cans? Why not just let people throw their trash wherever they want?
That's you you dumb faggot.
>>332241079
why buy actual good games that took effort when we can all pretend on twitch to be having so much le ironic epic fun with watching paint dry simulator
>>332241076
Fuck off to the google play store then you shill
>>332238381
>release date: April 1st
>date now: March 27
>There are reviews already
Suspicious...
>>332238381
the game is just a coverup to get meme tier emotes in so that the devs get major shekels out of the steam market
>>332238381
Blame the retards who greenlit it.
>>332241986
Came here to post this.
Y'all are a bunch of fucking retards.
>>332242061
and if you don't believe me, look at the emotes for ultimate arena
BTW the other emotes for this "game" (watch paint dry, not ultimate arena) are CIA, ainsley harriot, and PSY and some other shit
>>332238381
Reminder that this is an april fools joke.
Reminder that people like OP exist on /v/
>>332242535
hahah EPIC joke brah xD
>>332242297
and here's further proof
remember, devs get a cut of each steam market sale
greenlight access itself is $100, and if you shit out some no effort game, but put in meme emotes you can easily make back what you put in
(im not accusing ultimate arena devs for this, but im just using it as an example as to why the paint dry game was most likely made)
>>332241615
Lmao you are completely fucking inept. Steam is not supposed to be a curated service. They don't want to be "a" store, they want to be *the*market place for digital distribution on PC. They want everything you can't find elsewhere to be found with them. Curation is left to the people everyone else listens to. Find games through your friends, find games through youtubers, find games through niche communities, find them however, but once the hard part is done—once you're sold on the concept—they want you to be able to buy it on steam 9 times out of 10.
Steam isn't a fucking curator, and it is actively distancing itself from anything even remotely leaning in that direction.
>WOW WHY IS WALMART STILL CARRYING SHAREWARE DISCS AND SHOVELWARE?
this is fucking you, somehow completely misunderstanding the role a retailer has explicitly said it is trying to fill.
>>332242297
>CIA
>PSY
Sounds like a GiivaSunner/Triple Q wetdream.
>>332242732
>Insulting people who buy it
>You have it on a buy order
Fucking hypocrite
>>332242860
here's the rest
>>332242868
i asked the dev to put in the "awoo" emote and he actually delivered, I wanted to get the emote cuz I got unlucky when crafting the badges, im not insulting people who buy these emotes, but i'm calling out the dev for this shit
>>332242732
>>332242868
B T F O
T
F
O
>inb4 post deleted
>>332242297
>>332242732
>>332243126
I found the dev
>>332238381
No, I don't remember when Steam had quality control, and quite frankly, it doesn't need it.
Why don't you just not buy it and ignore it like you do shovelware when buying video games at an actual store? Pretty much the same concept. Lots of shit and lame games exist. You don't buy them, ignore them, and instead buy games that interest you while ignoring the rest.
>>332243126
>smol
It really is a Triple Q game.
>>332243260
Most card/emote data can be easily grabbed before release.
>>332242868
>>332243143
also the buy order allows me to conveniently show the price history and the emote itself into one nice and easy crop, but that's more of an afterthought if anything I guess.
>>332243260
im not the dev, I just found out about this emote shit and drew conclusions
I could be totally wrong
also if you look in the dev's inventory, you can find it yourself!!
>>332238381
No.
>>332243126
le epic maymays: the game
>>332243328
>smug anime girl
>wall of text
you tried bro
>>332243638
>smug
>wall of text
That post was neither of those
>>332243328
You're mistaking me for a free thinking individual. I need people to tell me what to spend money on, why do you think I'm on /v/? Land of the "so what do we think of X?" threads
>>332243681
you're learning
now fuck off back to /a/
>>332243638
>>332243681
he's right you know, that's not real smug
>>332243713
>i'm a free thinking individual, my opinion is objective and superior to any other
>>332238381
To be honest that image of the paint drying kind of freaks me out. It's the sort of thing you might expect a monster to appear or something.
>Steam Greenlight is made to get cool indie games on steam
>Retards vote for games like this and grass simulator because "lel epic GOTY we did it reddit"
>tfw it's easier to get a joke game into steam than a serious one
>>332243764
>>332243858
>If you're capable of rational, individual thought, you're able to find games you like and enjoy them without having to check if it's okay to like it with /v/
>tips fedora
Kek
>profiting from other peoples likenesses and ip
an evolution of stolen assets: the game
>>332244052
from the same board that glorifies forced memes (deal is a deal, drake, etc.)
>>332244229
>>332244203
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
Wasn't Half-Life 2 one of the first games on it?
>my mate steve
Australians shitposting games.
reminds me of the idiot who made a 10 hour film of paint drying and submitted it to the British ratings board
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/charlielyne/make-the-censors-watch-paint-drying/description
>10 reviews already
Where are people getting keys?
>>332244052
>a serious game
Go back to the That Dragon Cancer boards and complain about how it must be let's players hurting sales
Just wait'll it gets banned because the creator installed some controversial easter egg, and then demand for the game shoots up after it is removed from the store in some sort of marketing ploy to get people against censorship, only to be snuck quietly back in a couple weeks later.
>>332244798
Yohjo Simulator had content removed though
>>332244636
Probably friends of the dev, which would explain why they're all positive.
>>332238381
People in the review have 1 hour+ playing this game.
>>332244636
The dev is giving away free copies to reviewers and youtubers that ask for them
>>332238381
>those reviews
>people would actually pay for this if it wasn't free
Get me off this fucking rock.
>April 1st
Heh.
it's not a bad game, though hopefully they make some DLC for different colors of paint
>>332245294
i wish there was a way you could run a game in the taskbar and do other shit instead
fuck i wish.....
>>332245294
you need 2+ hours for trading cards to drop
Holy shit you people are fucking pathetic, i am fucking certain that anyone who doesn't see the humor in a game like this also doesn't get why this video is fucking funny as hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a16Kgh7j8zk
i'm fucking out of this shithole
>>332238381
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
No...can you remind me when that was?
>>332246282
Bye.
>>332246340
Fuck you too grandpa, get a sense of humor or something
Help /v/ this game is on Steam so I'm unable to exercise any sort of judgment on my own whether it's good or not. Should I buy it?
>>332238381
Man I sure can't wait for thousands of epic and funny reviews for this game XD. There's already 10 there!I hate those cancer posters.
>>332246445
>>332243713
samefag
>The dev's profile is private now
HOLY SHIT /v/ I THINK I ACTUALLY CRACKED THE CASE
I WAS RIGHT
>>332246506
I saw a kid who couldn't be older than 8 wearing a FNAF shirt when I was out today.
It made me very sad.
>>332246282
>>332246416
Please don't come back.
>>332246445
I DON'T KNOW ANON I'M SCARED
IT'S THERE, DOESN'T THAT MEAN I SHOULD SPEND MY MONEY ON IT?
SOMEBODY HELP
>>332246509
Ooooh try again anon sorry bro
>>332246284
It's a falseflag thread. OP isn't a steam user, but he made this thread with the intention of making actual steam users say
>damn this kind of shit makes me angry/mad/disappointed/sad
So later in the thread some consolecuck can come in and say "lol you see guys? STEAM is SHIT!!!!"
>>332246642
To be fair an 8 year old liking that garbage is more understandable than an adult liking it at least.
>>332246642
they already have fnaf keychains
You know, if we had smell-o-vision, you could get high off this shit.
>>332242781
You bring up some good points except you completely undermine your argument with your last analogy because Walmart actually does have some measure of quality control on what they will put in their store.
I'm just going to assume the dev have complete rights for the emotes and whatnot images he put up on Steam now heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy wait a second
>>332243126
>>332242732
>>332242061
/v/ -commercial exploit detectives-
Anyone played Jesus RPG trilogy ? Better than final fantasy 7.
#PCMASTERRACE XD
>>332246909
now stay with me here
what if there was a way
just hear me out
what if there was a way
just stay with me here
what if there was a way
you could own not one
but
two phones
holy shit i know right
>>332247768
Sloppy analogy that was mainly concerned with Walmart's video game dept (which does still include shareware for PC, at least here)
>>332246913
>needs others to tell him the obvious
wait, you actually thought steam wasn't trash?
>10 positive reviews
>they are all faggots trying to be funny
>>332247248
why don't they make smell o vision instead of VR? imagine being able to smell a porn stars buthole
>>332248453
Why would you want to?
>>332248515
so you could actually smell gun powder in the air in shooters?
>>332248148
Are you that invested in the narrative that no two separate people could mock retards who need to be told how to spend their money? Because if so that's already way more invested than I am in actually making fun of those people. Which should probably tip you off to the reality of the situation.
>>332248940
so whats your other phone
>>332248453
>have to get 30 different chemical cartridges that mix to create different scents
>they are pricey as fuck and run out in an hour
No thanks
>>332238381
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
no
>ultimate arena's momiji emote is expensive as hell
>this game's CIA emote is going to be the same
It's not fair it's not right
>>332248594
>wanting to smell piss, shit, gunpowder and blood
Ok anon
>>332248594
I meant why would you want to smell butt holes.
>>332246282
You're right, it's a certain mental disorder called "not being a fucking retarded teenager."
>>332238381
Steam only has three employees. And none of them even do any work.
>>332249419
because it's my fetish?
>>332243858
as opposed to "I can't tell by myself that a game isn't going to be something I would want to play"?
Are you implying that just you are an idiot, or everyone is?
>>332238381
The joke is that people will buy this game for 'le epic lulz' and to laugh about with their friends, and the creator will inevitably rake in the dough
>>332238381
>>332240168
Steam never had quality control you idiots.
There was a point when Valve handled games that would get in the store, so they had a schedule and could only fit in the bigger or more promising games.
Now the process is mostly automated, so anyone willing to concede the steam share and initial fee can get in.
>April 1st
Are you motherfuckers completely retarded?
>>332252470
>/v/tards BTFO
Goddamn, I knew you guys were dumb, but not this dumb. Kek
Over 100 posts and only a few people are smart enough to know what April 1st is.
>>332253745
>>332252470
explain the existence of the cards then
they're already on the market
>>332253906
>>332253939
>tards gonna tard
I swear, man...
>>332254070
>trying to insult someone
>while frogposting
Do you have any self-awareness?
>>332254223
Epic post bro. Nice meme.
Thankfully I'm not the idiot getting buttflustered about an april fools day joke.
>>332254363
>spending $100 on an april fools joke
how can I know you're not the dev trying to deflect?
>>332254363
Epic post bro. Nice meme.
Thankfully I'm not the guy who projects and actually saves /r9k/ garbage images.
>>332238381
It's an april fools joke brah.
Look at the trading cards, CIA man is even one of them
>>332254426
>>332254449
Alright, let me know how that turns out for you on the first you literal retards.
>>332238381
>allow shit games to be on your platform
>LPers will buy those shit games to point and laugh at
>both the lp and steam profits from it
It's a vicious cycle
>Minimum OS requirements: Win 8
Well that sucks, I guess I'll have to miss out on this masterpiece
>>332254461
If anything that would make it not be a joke, because nobody at Valve would be in on 4chan memes
>youre sharing virtual space with people this stupid
>>332254363
>everything I don't like is a meme even though I can't even use that word properly
Fits the dumb frog poster
>>332242781
There's no store on earth, except videogames, that doesn't curate the quality of their goods.
You're a delusional 5 year old and they know you are their customer which is why they know they can get away with it.
>>332254728
>hating fun
We did it Sonybros!
We destroyed pc gaming forever!
WhenI realize this is the kind of shit PC gamers play, yellow meta'd games suddenly don't seem so bad, puts things into perspective.
> Not appreciating a post-post modern post-ironic masterpiece
You guys are so stuck up your arse you can't tell the irony in this game.
Fucking toxic place full of sexist shitlords desu
>>332254938
>hurr durr frogposter
Yeah, it was a meme before you learned to hate it from twitter or whatever cancerous shit youre in to.
Kill yourself, newfaggot.
>>332255273
>posting a meme that tumblr, and facebook drove into the ground
nonsensical unless you are one of the people who did it
>>332255638
>facebook and tumblr affect my life
Kill yourself
>>332256115
Yet if I posted a rage face you'd be all over calling me Reddit.
You simply can't reason with /r9k/
>>332255638
Nedroid is a meme now?
>>332256345
No, I was referring to posting pepe and wojak
>>332256267
>posting with max butthurt over an april fools day joke
>getting asspained about MUH MAY MAYS
>BUT MUH FACEBOOK, TUMBLR, REDDIT, R9K!
You are reddit. Go back to there or /b/, tumblr, twitter or whatever shithole you came from. Don't forget to kill yourself though.
>>332256683
why are you so intent on calling this an april fools joke? do you not realize steam greenlight access is $100?
>>332256921
>implying
You are so stupid it hurts. Use your fucking brain, son.
>>332256683
Where are you getting "mad at an april fool's joke" from?
>calling any board a shithole
>when you're /r9k/ scum
>>332257116
>/r9k/
Whatever meme helps you cope with how fucking retarded you are. Kek
http://store.steampowered.com//eula/445730_eula_0
Quality text right there
>>332257239
If you post pepe, you're /r9k/. It's simple. Just like how you think I'm Reddit, I think you're /r9k/.
>>332257325
>>332257404I'm just baiting for attention
Why do people never get this?
>tfw you have all the ultimate arena emotes
feels good bro
>>332257460
alas, I have been coaxed into a snafuyou really got me going, anon. I didn't consider that at all
>>332257460
but you are right, pepe is not only /r9k/ it is /facebook/ tier
>>332257460
>>332257609You took it better than anyone else before. Most people pull out the "pretending to be retarded" image
>>332257679
in this case it was more like two people yelling at each other being retarded, not just one
refine your memery please
>>332242535
Except April is Friday you fuck
>>332257846
Oke doke, retard.
![The+site+now+i+m+really+fucking+lost+i+ll+be+honest_626bb9_4887376[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/X5PGpuY.png "The+site+now+i+m+really+fucking+lost+i+ll+be+honest_626bb9_4887376[1].png")
>>332257952
but he was only pretending
>>332258092
>>332240168
This.
People like to pus the boundaries of what they can get away with. Now every fucking idiot and their dog is going to be making "le zany paint dry games" and absolutely shit up the store and drown out other games that have actually had work put into them.
>>332257952
gosh anon you just dont get my intricate post-ironic memeismfrogposting is 100% cancer
>steam started out with Half-Life, a fucking boring as shit linear pseudo-FPS
Steam NEVER had quality control.
>>332258370
i´d try to refute your bait argument but i´m not as pathetic as morrowindfags are
>April 1st
>>332238381
Looks like PC wins again bros
>>332243126
that's... actually kind of smart. I'm always amazed when people find loopholes like this to make money using indirect methods. so what's stopping me from spending 5-minutes making a pong clone in game maker, adding epic rage face emotes to it on the steam store, then reaping the rewards when redditors are willing to pay hand over fist so they can spam their fedora friends with the latest in meme technology whilst playing CS:GO?
Devs if you want to shill your game here at least post some codes.
>>332258813
>Negative (1 reviews)
>>332258929
nothing yet, but hopefully valve makes an example out of this fucker and doesn't let that happen
but then again if something makes them money, why would they care?
>>332258929
nothing at all. look at the :weed: emoticon. i dont think anyone can say of the top of their head what game it's associated with but it's look at the money it's making!! what the fuck!!!
>>332259635
actually the weed emote was from the game "Port Royale 3" which has some actual effort put into it
the issue I have is with non-games being made solely to pump out meme shit
>>332242061
>emote
>not marketable
>NOT TRADEABLE
for what purpose
>>332259934
due to trading restrictions emotes have a 1 week long "hold" before being able to be sold on the steam market
>>332238381
ART
>>332256921
Not him but some niggas got money to burn and no self retraint.
Case in point: Mighty No. 9.
How many newgrounds animations are going to accurately predict the future?
>>332242732
>awoo
NEED IT!
>>332241664
Greenlight was a mistake
>>332244052
this game wasn't on greenlight
>>332243638
>299 characters (without spaces)
>wall of text
Stay in school, American youth.
>>332242781
>Steam is not supposed to be a curated service.
maybe it fucking should be.
>>332238381
Did you upload this OP?
>>332238381
Just played it, 8/10 pretty good. The paint could've dried a little slower.
Hey dickbags.
You think it's worth it to get the 3 Ass Creed games with Ezio in them for $30, even though I just bought Ass Creed 4?
Or are they going to be too aged in comparison?
>>332238381
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
Steam has been bad for a long time now.
>>332238381
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
No.
>>332238381
I thought /v/ liked visual novels
>Remember when Steam had quality control?
It's called Steam reviews. I don't care if they have millions of shitty game because I can just filter them out. There are also plently of other sites that track sales if you don't wanna use that.
It's a waste of money and time to filter out shitty games manually before they get on the platform when you can just easily get rid of their existence with 1 fucking filter after they are on the platform.
What does it matter? Is there a finite amount of space on steam that we can't waste on lower quality games? Just don't buy it.
>>332267114
Pls answer.
Anyone with any opinion at all.
>>332269401
TELL ME HOW TO SPEND MY FUCKING MONEY!
>>332259102
No, why would YOU care?
>>332249230
Bad Rats is a game. A bad one, but still a game.
Is that one game that copy pasted levels from the PS1 Spyros still on Steam?
>>332238381
http://store.steampowered.com/app/423610/
it never existed
