Oh shit you found yourself a monkey paw, what do you wish for?
Keep it vidya related
i wish for FF15 to be released
I wish somebody would break into my house and beat me to death with a Gamecube
that donkey kong was my dad, if he was things would be different around here.
I wish my husbando would become real.
>>331537173
I wish for a new STALKER game!
I wish for sweet, sweet release from this horrid existence.
I WISH FOR A NEW PAPER MARIO GAME
>>331537173
I could get a license from Hasbro to make a MLP game.
>>331537173
I wish I could quickly and painlessly end my life
>>331537173
Only the strongest potions.
>>331537173
the full version of Battlefront 3
I would wish that Trump would win but since that's going to happen anyway... I wish that VR technology would advance 20 years overnight.
>>331537173
Man I want an Xbox!
>>331537253
Granted. But a bunch of Vita owners banded together and petitioned for a Vita port. The petition succeeded and the game had to be massively downscaled to play on a handheld device.
I wish I could enjoy video games again
>>331537173
for Legion to be the best WoW expansion ever released
>>331537173
Nothing, I chuck that shit into a fire.
No wish made on one of those damn things ever turns out well.
>>331537173
A board with a nail in it.
Vagrant Story II
I wish the NX won't be region-locked
>>331537173
I wish for one of those games where if you die in the game, you die in real life
>>331537505
>VR advances 20 years overnight
>none of our computers can run it
Wait to go faggot
>>331537253
>Done! But it is to be developed by EA.
>>331537370
>Done! But it is to be developed by EA.
>>331537436
>Done! But it is to be developed by EA.
>>331537478
>Done! But it is to be developed b- FUCK
>>331537173
how many in here would jerk themselves off with the hand?
>>331537363
Wish granted, too bad he belongs to someone else now and killing them would make him dissappear
>>331537505
Granted.
It turns out Trump was spewing bullshit for the republican vote and Trump's actually a bigger LibDem than Sanders.
>>331537363
Your husbando is now real...and wants nothing to do with an ugly NEET like yourself
>>331537683
See, I told you. I fuckin' told you!
Don't you dumb fucks know how this works?
The paw grants your wishes and then twists them to fuck you over.
I wish you would go away.
>>331537813
Done!but you're coming with me
>>331537630
Granted. The Super WiiU is region-locked though!
>>331537664
>implying in 20 years you'd need a computer to run a VR headset
>>331537746
Kill yourself and take your fake quote with you.
>>331537587
Granted, a new 4chan board is made and all that's on it is a picture of a nail on it
>>331537879
its a real quote anon
I wish for the ability to speed-run Crash Bandicoot Warped flawlessly
>>331537173
For companies to stop being greedy
i wish there were bere mere
>>331537173
I wish for the next TES game to have a satisfying story/worldbuilding.
>>331537953
Granted.
All copies of Crash Bandicoot Warped cease to function. Including digital copies.
>>331537746
>a quote from nearly 20 years ago
>implying people don't change
I voted for Obama twice and I'll never vote democrat again now. That's been less than 10 years.
>>331537630
Granted but NX games will only come out in Japan.
>>331537953
Granted. But you cause an annoying meme to be formed, making it impossible to talk about Crash Bandicoot from now on.
I wish for the means to support myself and my gf
>>331537953
Done!
But you can only do it while being assfucked.
>>331537971
DoneThe gaming industry dies overnight
>>331537173
I wish World of Warcraft was good again.
>>331537961
>>331537936
it's a fake quote, though he did say the republicans were gullible
>>331537905
Fuck off
/nail/ is best board
>>331538052
Granted, there are now wooden planks physically supporting you two so you don't fall over.
>>331538052
Granted, 2 crutches appear before you
Monkey Paw, I wish I had more Monkey Paws
>>331537173
I wish sega would sell the rights to the sonic franchise
>>331538005
>speedrun turns into not working
That's not how the paw works
>>331538031
>>331538075
These two on the other hand.
>>331537905
I'd post on /nail/, in fact I'd try and run their 4CC team.
>>331538052
Done!
But you can only do it while being assfucked.
>>331538075
AND FROM THE ASHES A NEW ONE WILL BE BORN
>>331538165
Granted.
Enjoy being a monkey.
I wish the hackers running rampant in Australian valve servers would all get permanently IP banned
>>331538052
Granted. You and your gf become a group Let's Play channel. It's all fun and games first, but your gf meets someone over the internet and eventually leaves you for him.
You eventually move on, but one day you reconnect with your ex gf and learn she wants you back. Because you truly love her, you take her back immediately, but it turns out she only wanted you back because she had a kid with the internet stranger and he split.
You now no longer have any time for video games and have to spend all your free time supporting a useless fuck-child.
>>331537173
Bring back Bullfrog.
>>331538234
>That's not how the paw works
Yes it is.
You have the ability to speedrun the game flawlessly. However, the game has been rendered permanently unplayable, so your ability has bee rendered useless.
>>331538273
Is it weird that this does nothing for me because I'm already cucking my gf's current boyfriend
I wish they would come out with another ogre battle game, maybe in the style of Ogre battle 64 with army building.
>>331538197
Granted, they sell it to Konami, who then make quite a bit of money on the NEW! SONIC PACHINKO!
>>331538272
Granted. But the guys who are in charge of IP banning hackers gets super paranoid and starts permanently banning anyone in Australia with no form of appeal.
>>331537363
Granted but his dick is really tiny, his ass is unenjoyably loose and his blow jobs are pure teeth.
>>331538272
Granted
Valve bans Australia
>>331538349
Ah, okay you're right.
>>331538273
This one just kind of hurts tbqh
>>331538272
Granted, Australian and Brazilian servers are merged together however.
>>331538334
Granted, but they're owned by EA, so they produce nothing but mobile shit.
>>331538384
You're a god among men, anon.
>>331538396
>blow jobs are pure teeth
anon you made my butthole clench.
>>331538393
>>331538420
WAIT NO
I want to become the fastest among my classmates.
>>331538384
>cucking my gf's current boyfriend
what did he mean by this?
>>331538505
Granted, you're also the fastest in bed.
>>331537173
I wish viewtiful joe 3 is made and it's considered by everyone to be the best in the series!
>>331537274
Can I use this one?
>>331538549
I mean I'm fucking her because her actual boyfriend is shit
>>331538505
You fall out of a jet mid sonic
>>331538505
Granted
A terrible accident in class puts you in a wheelchair for life and kills everyone else
>>331538563
Granted. You lose your hands
>>331538384
>cucking my gf's current boyfriend
You're cucking yourself?
I wish for a new hitman game to be made
>>331537173
I wish for a satisfying Pokemon roster in Pokemon Sun and Moon
Alternatively,
I wish mega evolutions would go away.
All I want is a WiiU and a copy of Braixen's Game
I wish for Freedom Fighters 2
>>331538586
But if she's your gf and you're fucking her boyfriend but she's dating and/or fucking someone else doesn't that mean that you're being cucked too?
>>331537792
>>developed by EA
>not by Ubisoft
EA maybe evil, but at least their games work
now Ubi on the other hand...
>>331538563
>>331538639
No, no, no. That's not a good enough ironic twist.
The wish is granted, however it sells so poorly Hideki Kamiya hangs himself in shame.
>>331538396
As long as I can cuddle andhold handsall day then I don't care.
>>331538691
>Those fucking legs
>>331538672
The pokemon with mega evolutions are removed from the series.
>>331538691
Both of them don't work.
>>331538672
granted, but the new pokemon have terrible stats overall and mega evolutions are replaced with rhythm-based trainer/pokemon fusion fights
>>331538745
meant to quote >>331537683
I wish ISIS would capture Anita
>>331538818
>mega evolutions are replaced with rhythm-based trainer/pokemon fusion fights
I don't think you get how this works. The side-effect is supposed to be a bad thing.
>>331538818
>Mega evolutions replaced with rhythm-based trainer/pokemon fusion fights
>>331538826
Granted, Anita convinces them gamers are the true enemy and now isis is on a quest to kill all games and gamers
I wish Nanako had stayed dead instead of being revived by Deus Ex Teddie
>>331538818
>terrible stats overall
desu I can live with this
>rhythm-based trainer/pokemon fusion fights
That doesn't sound too bad either senpai
>>331538826
Granted.
She convert the ISIS to fight for he cause and succesful at fucking the game industry up.
>>331538742
You're losing me here
Are you implying that all three parties in a cucking relationship is getting cucked
>>331538505
Granted, all the people faster than you gets injured, making you the fastest one in the class.
>>331538826
Granted. Although Anita is eventually rescued alive, uses the experience to garner more sympathy and support, and eventually becomes President of the United States.
Final Fantasy 2-2
Try to make this one worse than it already is. I fucking dare you.
>>331538943
>ISIS declares war on gamers
>neet neckbeards fight back and actually get something done for once
>ISIS completely genocided in less than a week
not bad desu
>>331539017
Now this is hell
>>331538563
Granted. It's a sequel to Red Hot Rumble but they call it VJ3 to sell copies.
Everyone considers it the best of the series only out of desperation for a new Viewtiful Joe.
>>331538958
Okay but then Dojima kills himself and Protag ends up moving away, the game then ends without any answers.
Doom 3 and 4 never happened, instead Brutal Doom HD released around 2009
I wish someone would love me
>>331537173
I wish I had never discovered 4chan
>>331538672
Granted but the game is released on mobile and evolving your Pokémon is now micro pay.
I wish Todd Howard was not allowed to tell lies
>>331539082
>implying any neet neckband isn't a lazy fuck who will just complain online about isis fucking them over while waiting for someone else to do the job for them
>>331539002
It's just curious as to how you're calling her your girlfriend, but her boyfriend is still her boyfriend. Like are you the mistress in this, or is he?
>>331539187
Granted, but you're still a total fuckin' loser.
>>331538672
>I wish for a satisfying Pokemon roster in Pokemon Sun and Moon
Granted. All they do is make babies and evos for anything that isn't already full three-stage evolution family.
>I wish mega evolutions would go away.
Granted. Mega evos are now a permanent evolution.
>>331539187
Granted, you go back in time and become a 9gag brony. You never bother visiting 4chan
>>331539187
Granted, you discover7chan instead
>>331539182
Granted_________________________
>>331539187
Granted, you discover reddit instead, nothing else changes
>>331539219
I showed up second
I wish I was good at fighting games
>>331539215
Granted but now everything he says comes true but he never says anything good anymore.
i wish for bernie sanders to become president
>>331539268
I thought wishes from monkeys paws were supposed to end up bad
>>331539182
Granted.But you don't love them back. No matter how hard you try to reciprocate feelings for them.
>>331539330
Granted. You are extremely talented at fighting games but you really don't like playing them
>>331539308
That's fair then desu
Unless you like her and she won't leave him, then you're still a cuck
>>331539330
Wish granted!
You lose your arms entirely but can play with your feet
>>331539215
Granted.
Todd Howard the basketball coach is no longer capable of telling lies.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Howard_(basketball)
>>331539215
Granted, all the other game developers are moved by Todds honesty and tell the truth about their games as well, too bad this causes sales for all games to drop to abysmal levels and crash the market
>>331539182
Granted. You hate that person though.
>>331539350
Granted but then Bernie Sanders becomes president.
>>331539412
fine by meI'm losing my limbs anyway
>>331539350
Granted
>Hillary is his VP
>he dies after the first month in office
>>331539330
granted. but you become a negro
>>331537173
I wish I were dead
>>331539350
Granted.
24 hours after being sworn in, he is assassinated by an disgruntled Trump supporter.
>>331537173
Monkey's Paw always has an ironic consequence fuck that
I'd rather find a genie and then map out an extremely specific contract on paper with him on the wording of my wish, to avoid any comical twists
>>331539350
Granted, his political plans run the nation into the ground though and we taken over by Mexico and China.
I wish Bonus Stage was back.
>>331538751l-lewd...
>>331539513
Granted.
You have eczema.
>>331539350
Granted, he berns america down to the ground.
>>331539582
Done.
I wish mobas would die off and give rise to a new rts era
I wish the next Tales did not have Hideo Baba working on it and it had Vesperia's combat system.
>>331539589
That didn't even ironically grant my wish
>>331537173
I wish I was dead
>>331539686
You have dead skin all over your body.
>>331539513
Granted but you're brought back with a defibrillator after being declared legally dead.
I want Dragon's Dgoma 2!
I want FF7 HD!
I want a MH game on PC!
I wish Square Enix would bring back Xenogears!any other Monkey's Paw wishes that I'm missing that actually happened?
>>331539670
Granted
All major RTS games are developed and influenced by SJW. Most popular game is about minorities taking over the white world.
I wish for the console market to suddenly crash, and for there to never be a new game released for a console ever again.
>>331539582
holy fuck it's been years. i bet /v/'s too young to remember it and high score.
I wish Onimusha received an HD collection for PC and PS4.
>>331539528
>Dosnt know the djinn, the actual geines are incredible assholes and fuck up wishes on purpose to make you use up wishes to reverse them, breaking them out of servitude faster.
Remember kids: Useing the the word "and" or "also" in any form of your wish counts as another wish!
>>331539736
Granted, you're given immortality but you constantly feel dead inside
I wish I had Bobsplosion's TF2 backpack
>>331539749
That's really stretching it, even for a monkeys paw wish
>>331537173
i wish that whatever monkey who's looking for it doesn't try to rape me once he tracks it down
>>331539790
Granted but nobody wants high end computers so everything goes to mobile gaming that requires a fb account.
>>331539528
>I'd rather find a genie
Not gonna get much better results, champ.
Genies, or rather djinn, don't grant wishes out of the goodness of their heart. They're spirits enslaved by sorcerers and they do not like being forced to serve mortals.
Disregard everything Disney told you about genies. The genie is not your big friend, he isn't going to do celebrity impersonations for you, and he will actively take any change he can get to fuck you over.
I wish I was a Saiyan.
>>331539847
close enough
>>331539736
Granted you are now dead, but now you've always been dead and your existence is completely wiped out.
>>331539790
Granted.
Devs now focus on making games for smartphones and handheld devices.
>>331539790
Granted but every game starting now and any rerelease will be developed with a 1000$ budget and look garbage
>>331539902
Granted but you get incurable polio.
>>331539513
Granted.
For using your wish to end your own life, your soul is damned to Hell.
>>331539908
That's pretty much how being dead works anyways
>>331539670
Granted, Overwatch will reign superior next few years in the competitive scene, only to yield to Sports e-sports games soon after
>>331539893
>he will actively take any change
*chance
Goddamn typos.
I wish to be the third member of Daft Punk and have the sickest fucking helmet.
>>331539893
That's why I write out my wish and force him to sign it and have it written in such a way that if I speak it verbally, it'll all count as one wish and any mean tricks he could add would have some kind of clause or fallback rolled into the overall wish to lessen those consequences.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, honestly.
>>331539975
Jokes on you, if hell existed I'd be going there regardless
I wish all e-celeb threads would forever disappear from /v/.
>>331539867
Fine then.
Your heart stops long enough for you to be considered legally dead, but you're revived by some doctors and you don't suffer any brain damage.
>>331539763
>Dragon's Dogma 2
It's an MMO
>FF7 HD
They break it up into multiple parts to squeeze every dime out of you
>Monster Hunter PC
They setup an IP block so you're fucked if you don't live in Japan, Korea, or China
>More Xenogears
They bring it back as an open world RPG that removes most of the philosophy for brain dead characters and a plot that's still only half-finished
Good thing none of those actually happened.
I wish for SMT's Strange Journey 2: In Space to exist immediately
I wish for a great game to be released tomorrow.
>>331539398
this desu senpai.
If you are fwb or just fucking her, it's whatever, but if you call her your g/f but she wont leave her original bf, both of you are kind of getting cucked.
>>331540069
Granted your helmet is filled with horrible diseases and you die.
>>331540069
The helmet is literally made of various diseases and you die painfully two months later.
>>331539963
You're supposed to give it an ironic twist.
>>331539902
Granted. You are now one of the random low-class Saiyans living on planet Vegeta on the day Frieza destroyed the planet.
And no, you don't retain any of your prior self's memories, so you can't suddenly know what's about to happen and bail.
>>331540069
granted, the helmet causes you to constantly vomit when you wear it
>>331540140
Granted, its made for a console that will never exist
>>331540134
Granted but Mastema isn't in it.
>>331540105
Yeah, that's a bit better
>>331540134
It becomes a F2P Puzzle & Dragons clone on mobile.
I wish that /v/ wouldn't talk to me or my son ever again.
>>331537173
I wish for:
- a shooting star
- a genie lamp
- a wishbone
- a wishing well
>>331540071
give me an example. also, you assume he follows your mortal code of "its illegal to go against a signed contract". Have you thought about the signing of the contract to be taken as a wish from him? Youd probably have to do something along the lines of "I wish for you to follow this contract pertaining to my next 2 wishes."
>>331540328
Granted.
The shooting star melts in the atmosphere.
You just get a lamp that had a genie in it at one point.
The wishbone is already broken.
A boy died in the well and his evil spirit prevents any wishes from being granted.
I wish for the fun to come back to GDQ.
>>331540173
People don't want to be sayain just to turn their hair color different as a parlor trick.
>>331539218
>what is the entirety of /k/
>>331540134
Granted, but it's a shitty high school vn
>>331540071
>I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, honestly.
That's cute.
The genie's had millenia to think up ways he can fuck over anyone who summons him.
>>331540328
A well appears before you, after looking in a star comes out and shoots you with a gun that fires wishbones it then rubs a genies lamp nearby and wishes you never existed
>>331540069
Granted, electronic music becomes obsolete within the next week, dark punk go bankrupt
I wish for another chimpout, the biggest yet.
>>331538672
Granted but now the game is a phone app with microtransactions up the ass. and mega evolution is gone along with all evolution.
>>331540623
Granted everyone blames you for it
>>331538267
I wish for and industry where the vidya changes to suit the individual, and not the other way around.
>>331539187
YOU NEVER DISCOVERED 4CHAN, BUT YOU BECOME A MASSIVE REDDITOR FEDORA TIPPER INSTEAD
I wish I knew who let the dogs out.
>>331540623
Chimps everywhere in the world escape from their Zoos and start fucking shit up. All races work together in order to stop it, achieving world peace forever in the process.
I wish for my husbando to survive healthy and happy in the next game he's in.
>>331540081
Yeah, but now you're going to the part of hell where they punish people for suicide.
Which is also the part of hell where they punish people for murder and rape.
I wish for white nights to stop giving a shit about the lack of girls playing video games and acting like it's a problem
>>331540328
The shooting star is in another galaxy
The wish bone is now your femur
The genies lamp falls apart into rust and dust when you rub it
The wishing well is dry
i wish my husband survives his military term healthy and completely intact and that no negative or unintended effects can come from this wish
>>331537173
Any type of vidya outfit/costume/attire to fit, can be just one part or the whole thing
GO
RUIN IT FOR ME
>>331540134
Granted, it sells like shit and Atlus goes bankrupt.
>>331540818
Granted now it's black "nights" complaining about the lack of girls and acting like it's a problem
>>331540803
>implying anything changes
Smh desu senpai
I wish for all frogposters to die.
>>331540731
You discover who did it
it was a nigger I'm afraid
>>331540069
Granted. However, the new three-man Daft Punk is universally reviled and people much prefer it before you joined.
>>331540894
that doesn't even make any fucking sense
what retard programmed this fucking paw
>>331540859
Granted but he comes back gay and Muslim.
>>331540859
Granted, you get a letter saying he found someone else while on duty
>>331540865
The monkey paw explodes trying to comprehend what the fuck you just said
You have beaten the monkey paw but don't get your wish
>>331540916
Granted
but you die alongside them you fagatron
>>331540623
Granted but it happens in your neighborhood.
>>331537173
Pokemon world becomes real.
>>331540750
That's..damn, took a bad time to become a mercenary
I wish to know what happened to the monkey that used to be attached to this paw.
>>331541085
Done. You get the role of a one-line NPC who will never leave your home town for an adventure.
Microsoft have already done it - I wanted Forza on PC for so long, and now it's coming as part of the UWP and is W10 only, heavily locked down so no modding or optimisation using nvidia inspector, rivatuner or anything else.
>>331541047
I'd happily sacrifice my life to rid the world of all frogshitters.
>>331540859
Granted but he opens a gay bar the next day.
>>331541085
Granted
But you have to fight in the world war that makes it post apocalyptic
>>331541085
Granted, its at the other end of the universe and you die before humans have the technology to visit it
I'd make a wish, but apparently someone beat me to it years ago.
I wish we could talk about Super Mario 64 again without any of those Le Parallel Universe neo-memers sperging all over the place.
>>331537456
Granted.
You become the greatest terrorist mankind has ever known.
>>331540916
Granted. The "Forever Alone" guy comes back from the dead and takes Pepe's place.
>>331540859
Granted. He comes home healthy and intant, with no negative or unintended effects.
However a week after he comes home, he meets someone else and divorces you.
i wish the dragon balls were real and existed on earth
>>331541286
Granted, 8 dragon testicles are strewn about the world for people to find
>>331540323
Granted but /v/ kills the two of you silently
>>331541196
Not so bad desu, the husband sets up a profitable business
>>331541286
Granted.
But they appear in the most remote areas of the planet, and there's no Dragon Radar, so it will take decades at the least to find them.
>>331541386
Ex husband*
>>331541286
Granted, a pair of dragon testicles comes crashing down on your body
I wish for this wish to be wasted.
>>331540323
Granted, nobody else does either, ever again. You completely cease to exist in the eyes of the world.
>>331539875
Granted. It doesn't try, it succeeds.
>>331539182
Granted. It's Literally Wu.
>>331541243
Granted. SM64 threads are now clogged up by autists trying to make the next new meme.
>>331541473
Granted.
You win this time.
>>331541286
Granted. Only you know about it. You dont have the tech for a dragon locator, and without that, one of them could literally be under some shit in a peruvian sewer drain, one on top of some no name mountain under 4 feet of snow.
Oh! and remember, telling anyone to help you only lets them know your after a wish granter. good luck convincing them you deserve the wish and not get your throat slit in your sleep.
>>331541243
Granted, but now every Mario thread devolves into waifufaggotry and underage faggots demanding Super Mario 64 was never actually good within the first fifty postsSo exactly how it was before that stupid video made it here.
>>331537683
A horror beyond human comprehension.
I wish she would marry me.
>>331538505
good taste lad
>>331541456
Heh
"I wish nintendo would make a Zelda game that's more like le epic Skyrim!!"
I wish that the monkey paw returns to the monkey it came from so it can rest in peace.
I want the powers of Luffy D Monkey
>>331541473
Granted
The word "WASTED" always appears in your view, driving you to total insanity
>>331541715
Granted.
She's amazing and cares deeply for you. Her condition tragically cuts her life short after a few years of amazing marriage.
>>331541715
Granted.
Shortly after you two wed, a cure for cerebal palsy is discovered.
After having hers treated she realizes she's now far out of your league and divorces you.
>>331541715
On your wedding night she uncontrollable spasms during sex and your dick gets violently ripped off, unable to be repaired.
>>331541473
Granted but the wish for nothing doesn't require a wish so it doesn't use one.
>>331541914
You are now made of rubber but you die because you are made out of rubber.
I wish for a new Metroid game!
I'll just wish for something I'd like to see but have no personal interest in
I wish Konami made a new silent hill game for consoles.
>>331538349
Should've been more clear desu
>>331541913
Granted
King Kong ravages the continent of America and is slowly approaching Europe
I wish for 1 US dollar
>>331541913
Granted but you will forever rest in disturbance and never get a good night's sleep
I give it to someone else because fuck the monkey paw wishes. Always some sorta loophole shit fucking the wish up because you aren't extremely specific.
>>331542023
Granted, but it's full of SJW shit, Samus talks nonstop with a shitty voice and the gameplay is horrendous.
>>331542023
Granted. Metroid: Another M hits stores this fall
>>331538384
Isn't he cucking you then too?
>>331541809
Granted but you can only kill enemies with arrow knee shots for being a meme muttering retard.
>>331541913
Granted.
Your hand is cut off and turned into a wish-granting artifact to fill the void left by the monkey paw.
>>331542059
Granted
but it's gross and from between a nasty basic bitch strippers taint
>>331541914
Granted.
You never use your stretching powers to its full potential. You just waste it on punching things like Kenshiro,
I wish for Angela Merkel to become Empress of the World.
>>331542059
Granted.
It's a fake.
>>331542059
Granted
You now owe the Mafia a debt of 1 dollar, one which was stolen from Fort Knox. They're coming for you now, guns blazing
>>331542078
Granted
Someone takes the paw and makes the wish, but you suffer in his place
I wish that they bring back vigil games under Nordic and make Darksiders 3 and 4 and actually end the fucking story
>>331541473
Granted. You live with the contant regret that you squandered a chance at something incredbly great that could possibly work around its drawback, on a chance to remain in your mediocre exsistance. Literally becoming that bitter old man no one wants to listen to who always says "I Could have been!".
>>331542119
>>331542141
Fine, I wish for another Metroid game that's more like Prime and not like Other M at all.
>>331542223
Done.
>>331542078
>because you aren't extremely specific.
No, that's not why it happens.
It's because you're being punished for fucking with fate.
>>331542223
Granted
She does to the world what she's done to Germany, ushering in a thousand years of darkness
>>331542078
Granted, all the bad effects of the other persons wish happen to you though
>>331542270
Granted. Darksiders 3 happens in real life and all of humanity becomes ashes
>>331542223
Granted.
She's assassinated a year later.
>>331542078
They get a drawback that is easily bought off by their wish. As a freebie, you become >>331542282
>>331542407
One year is all it will take to diversify all the white countries.
>>331541146
That is awful.
>>331541198
I could live with that
>>331541206
That's depressing.
>>331537173
If I wished the monkey paw had infinite fingers to make wishes with would the monkey paw effect have any consequences aside from the wishes being wishes with unforeseen possibly ironic effects?
Either way my first wish would be that all monkey paw wish effects would have to be accepted in writing by me before they go into effect. No matter how small or seemingly inconsequential.
After that I'd wish myself into being which is immortal, has a perfectly efficient body, and can move through time at will, so I could literally play every video game as much as it deserves.
In the spirit of the thread I guess I'd wish that I had I had enough time to play everything that could be considered a video game as much as I think it deserves.
>>331542397
at least ill know what the fuck happens
I wish for the paw to return to the monkey so it can finally rest. I will be completely unaffected by this wish, positively or negatively.
>>331542287
Nintendo's already got you covered.
>>331541913
Granted. It points in the direction of its body and you can't put it down until the two are reunited.
>>331542205
Cool I have my own personal wish granting device, and since it's mine there are no ironic twists.
I wish for the G-Police franchise, the original PS1 Warhawk, and Treasures of the Deep to have a good quality reboot or sequel on mordern gaming platforms.
>>331542481
Congratulations.
You become the monkey paw.
>>331542507
The monkey comes and fucks you in the ass with your own ripped off dick before resting in peace because you tried to break the rules.
i wish i had superman's powers
since it's the real world there's no kryptonite and no supervillains. i'm free to do what i want
I wish the crash bandicoot series got revived with no mobile or m as de by ea bullshit
>>331542481
If I wished the monkey paw had infinite fingers to make wishes with would the monkey paw effect have any consequences aside from the wishes being wishes with unforeseen possibly ironic effects?
Anon you should know better than to use words like 'infinite' around the paw.
Wish granted - the entire universe and beyond is now filled with monkey fingers. Every living thing chokes to death on monkey fingers while entombed in monkey fingers.
Beyond good and evil 2 released
>>331537173
A good B&W 3 made by an indie developer.
>>331542674
Defining terms is not breaking the rules. I would be covered by my request- the monkey attacking me as a result of the wish would be considered an effect, and so is breaking the rules.
>>331542481
There MUST be a draw back, the more you work around it, the stronger the effect gets. Infinit fingers? That is not a set number, you will be crushed, as well as the universe, under the sheer, endless amount.
>>331542714
Granted, everyone becomes a lazy fuck and wants you to help them with everything.leaving you no time for vidya
>>331542481
Granted. You now ascend to a higher plane of existence and become a being unconcerned with the matters of this plane.
I wish for a new F-Zero game!
I wish there was a rerelease of the timesplitters trilogy on modern consoles
>>331542223
Why did she do that?
>>331542840
You get fucked in the ass again but this time twice as hard for trying to make a rebuttal.
>>331542757
Granted. He becomes a Skylander. But the focus group hated him so he's discontinued after his debut game.
>not knowing Crash is owned by Activision not EA
C'mon, son!
I wish I didn't exist
>>331542474
>I could live with that
Do you know what the average life expectancy of a man on the front lines was in a world war? Now lets add in creatures of enormous powers, even in adolescence, swinging around the field. Friendly fire is on by default, friend.
I wish sharks could live in freshwater.
>>331542956
Granted. It's made by Platinum.
>>331543051
Granted, before you didn't exist but now you do.
>>331542547
Nope, you still get the ironic twist.
>>331542978
You are not fit to decide the rules of the paw. You failed to deliver on my wish.
>>331542714
Granted.
However the governments of the world unite to stop the superpowered madman you become, amd build a red sunlight projector to depower you before boom-headshotting you.
>>331543051
Granted, the letter i never exst
>>331542956
You get a new F-zero game. It is a golf game and it does not feature Captain Falcon.
>>331543095
Granted
Nothing fucking happens because sharks like that already exist
>>331543095
They get into sick fights with freshwater crocodiles but eventually lose and die out.
I wish for Persona 5 to suck
>>331543105
Thanks anon, sounds fuckingbased.
>>331537879
Here's a real vidya-related quote though
>>331543120
Eh
>>331543195
Ok, this one gave me a chuckle
>>331542714
granted but everytime you use your power you get weaker. the more you use it the weaker you get.
>>331543150
That's another violent ass fucking anon, three times as hard.
I'm starting to think you enjoy it.
>>331543046
Fuck shit your right oh well
>>331543214
while bullsharks can stay in freshwater for long periods of time, they'll still die if they don't get saltwater.
this way, all water becomes shark infested. enjoy your great white great lakes sharks.
>>331542481
>monkeys paw has to agree with what's written
>it can't read
There's a flaw unless you learn blind writing.
>>331542783
Granted. It's made without Ancel's involvement, using the Assassin's Creed engine, and most of the game revolves around auto-parkour and filler missions. It never resolves the cliffhanger ending from the first game, and sells so poorly ('people aren't interested in more BG&E' says Ubisoft) that the series is permanently shelved.
I wish for the chaos gods to notice me.
>>331543231
but then platinum stops halfway and EA picks the game up and the plot is written by Burch
You idiots don't fucking understand.
The monkey paw doesn't fuck your wishes up because you worded them poorly.
The monkey paw fucks your wishes up as punishment for tampering with fate.
So you can't make a wish on the monkey paw that won't end up screwing you over. The only winning move is not to make a wish at all, and get shit done by working for it.
>>331543229
Granted. You now have another worthless game, and the story and concept are attributed to you, makeing you the next target for Todd-teir memes. Its a monkey paw, not opposite day switch. You get what you asked for and get something you didnt as a reaction.
>>331537746
He did run for the Democrats in 2000 didn't he? He is pro-choice I think and real conservatives considers him to be fake as shit
>>331543478
What if I wish for nothing to happen?
>>331538482
My current gf has caused me to gain two scars on my dick because she is terrible at bjs. I've just recently had a patch of skin shaved off it from that. Think about what that's like. I don't know why I keep letting her do it desu
>>331543536
Granted. From now on nothing happens, ever.
>>331543335
Don't Glyphis not need saltwater at all?
>>331537173
I wish some really cool company made a new survival-horror game franchise that is just as good as the Silent Hill series and that it plays in an old school-fashion + a lot of people like it, including me, and buys it and it becomes a success
>>331543536
Heat death of the universe.
>>331537173
I wish /v/ would stop making shitty console war threads.
I wish that Taleworlds would make sieges better in bannerlord.
>>331537173
I wish for GDC to get a visit from tallahrush
I wish I wasn't Goku.
Good luck figuring out an ironic twist for that one.
>>331543779
You're Raditz.
>>331543710
Granted. They're replaced with off topic monkey paw threads.
>>331543779
You turn into Anthony burch, atleast you're not goku
>>331543710
/v/ instead has shitty mobile war threads
>>331543779
Your wish is fullfilled,you're not Goku.
>>331543850
That sadly is an improvement.
>>331542630
Granted, coming to iphone and android devices soon, the new modern gaming platforms!
I wish to be an attractive girl.
>>331543675
Granted. But the first game doesn't sell well enough so the sequel is made for a wider audience. Essentially a noisier version of peekaboo.
>>331537173
I wish I wasn't Anthony Burch.
>>331539161
There is no evil twist to this. Brutal doom is already cancerous.
Similarly, wish that the upcoming Doom is a great and worthy follow-up that will be loved and played by many.
>>331543958
The monkey paw can't grant wishes that have already been fufilled
>>331543468
OH FUCK, don't joke like that man
I wish Chad Warden was back and making youtube videos.
>>331543675
>All these "ands"
Thats alot of wishes buddy, but lets go with it.
Granted. Its a success! You have a great game and its popular.
Too popular.
Suddenly there are spin offs. Sequals from different people on different exclusive consoles. Theres a saturday morning cartoon. A reboot comes out, its first person.
Everything you know and loved about the game is visibly and uncontrollably ripped to shreds for the sake of sales and 'new markets'. You will watch your new favorite series become the final nail in the horror coffin: No one will attempt anything like it again, because at its final breath, sales were abysmal.
Welcome to being an actual Silent hill fan, really.
>>331537173
hope it's from a mankey
>>331537173
I wish Too Human was good
>>331543912
Granted. You decide to hop on the trans bandwagon. You join an LGBT hugbox where everybody constantly tells you that you're beautiful.
The compliments are nice, but you know they only say them because they don't want to feel guilty when you inevitably take a bath with your toaster.
>>331544147
Granted it is. But now there is an pissed off Mankey wondering why you have its arm.
i wish pokemon was real
>>331544147
It was, but the Mankey survived and later evolved into a Primeape. Now it knows you have its paw and it's coming for you.
>>331537173
I wish that the universe cease to exist and that everyone, me included dies in the most horrible ways just before that.
>>331544184
Granted. Good is subjective.
>>331544120
I did that because I REALLY didn't want to get fucked over. But I guess my heart can be broken twice after all ;___;
I WANNA GET BACK IN THE MAAAATRIIIIIX
RIP IN PEACE spiritual successor for Silent Hill
I wish monkey paws didn't try so hard
>>331537173
I wish to be able to finish my metroidvania and have everyone love it.
Low maintenence gf that likes me more than I like her. :3
>monkey's paw
At least have a vidya related premise.
>>331543912
Granted but you have to fuck op.
>>331544474
You hate her.
>>331544416
Granted. The monkey paw starts phoning it in. For everyone except you.
>>331543536
Then you still get fucked over.
Stop trying to outsmart the monkey paw.
You can't fucking win with the monkey paw.
>>331544313
Granted.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zbtb7
>>331537373
>>331537173
this please
>>331544527
A small price to pay. B-blowjob counts, right?
>>331544229
Then I wouldn't be attractive. This one doesn't actually fufill the full wish. I also asked to be a girl. Transwomen aren't women, they're transwomen. Doesn't count.
I wish to win with the monkey paw.
>>331544684
>Zbtb7, originally named Pokemon, is a gene that may act as a master switch for cancer, and is responsible for the proliferation of cancer throughout surrounding cells
Holy shit, monkey paw, you stronk
>>331537173
I wish the universe and everything in it never existed
>>331542969
Because europe
I WISH THE MONKEY PAW GREW BACK THE REST OF THE MONKEY!
You can thank me later monkey bro!
>>331537373
Granted. The release is sweet.
Then you're swiftly carried off to a world pretty much identical to this one, except you're even more of a social outcast, and your family is dead.
>>331544741
Granted, you have a fun day at the carnival winning games with the monkey paw in your pocket
>>331544920
granted. the monkey is just as dead and shrivelled as the paw.
>>331542928
>>331542860
>>331542771
>>331542658
Okay, a couple of these I saw coming after I thought about my phrasing after posting. Some of the others not so much. I always forget the monkey paw doesn't have rules as much as it screws you no matter what. But, the smart ass in my always wants to try and get around it somehow. As a thought experiment if nothing else. I guess that's sort of a "that's the draw /thread" digression though.
Are there any situations where it's possible to mess with the way the paw grants wishes? Not so much to get good wishes, but in terms of it not working as intended. I get the feeling there isn't just because of how relative the corruption of wishes are.
>>331544920
The monkey is a zombie and is mad as hell that you interrupted its rest in the afterlife.
>>331544920
The monkey instead chooses to thank you now by fucking you violently in the ass.
>>331537173
I wish the monkey paw would ironically fuck up this wish somehow
>>331544850
Granted.
A universe appears.
>>331545003
That was my plan all along.
I win faggots.
>>331543912
Granted! You are a wonderful daughter of islam! You wake up in the compound of Boko haram.
>>331544721
>Then I wouldn't be attractive
But everyone in your hugbox says you are, so it technically fulfills the wish. You might not be physically attractive, but you have some quality that attracts the LGBTs to you.
>Transwomen aren't women
There are people in the LGBT community who'd say otherwise.
>>331544741
You win, congratulations.
Your wish is spent.
>>331544741
WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY.
Listen. You can't win with the monkey paw.
Just making a wish means you already lose.
But the monkey paw isn't evil. It doesn't twist your wishes out of sadism. It's just trying to teach you an important lesson.
And that lesson is that you don't fucking have the right to tamper with fate and the fabric of reality. Nobody does.
>>331544850
>never existed
You never existed to make the wish, so the wish isn't granted.
I wish for keys to be craftable by using less than 20 refined.
>>331545270
Would a time paradox not cause some kind of fuckery?
That'd be good enough
>>331539582
Phil's mom best girl.
I wish for Megaman Legends 3 to be released
>>331544964
jokes on you if my family is dead there is nothing stopping me from killing my self.
>>331545323
Granted, but you never get what you want when opening crates
>>331545323
Granted. Drops are now considerably worst and it's harder to get refined.
>>331543070
I stand by my statement.
>>331545078
Alright
I wish the universe and everything in it stopped existing at all points in time.
>>331545323
Granted.
They now cost 19.9 keys.
The 0.1 key will be stored in your inventory for later use.
>>331545323
You can got to Lowe's and get a key crafted for pennies you dumb son of a bitch.
I wish for consoles to stop existing.
>>331545028
I suppose the draw backs, like I said earlier, can be cured some times.
>wish for worlds best art skills
>Lose arms after making master peices
>Use money you make to get bionic arms
Thats the only thing I can really say. Let the draw back happen, work around it.
I wish I was able to fire hadokens like Ryu.
I wish that the monkey paw is returned to the state of a young healthy monkey and then violently raped in the fucking ass untill it draws its very last breath.
>>331545579
Granted, video games completely stop existing as well.
>>331545624
Granted, only you can see them and they cause no damage so you end up looking like an idiot to everyone else
>>331545323
Granted, but in a completely different game that you wished for
>>331545509
You already spent your paw, nigguh. Do you think these things grow on trees?
>>331545659
>this is what consolefags actually believe
>>331544425
Granted, everyone in the world loves it, you are stalked by creepy obsessive weirdo fans, one of whom knifes you to death.
>>331545323
Granted, they are craftable with 19.999999999999 refined.
>>331545397
Granted, it comes out as a Nokia N-Gage exclusive
>>331537173
I jsut gonna ask for some dumb shit like
I wish QoP or Luna get an Arcana cosmetic in Dota 2 and that it drops for me in the first game I play.
>>331545579
Done. Now that the only market is PC users who never buy games at full price (they either pirate or wait for a Steam sale), all developers move to mobile.
>>331545734
I don't think you understand how the Monkey's Paw works dumbass.
I wish for a third person Cyberpunk RPG thats a mix of Deus Ex, Syndicate, and Bladerunner. You can be a cop or criminal or anything in between and do anything that comes along with those professions. Cyborg bank robber, cyborg detective, etc. It'll have a cyberpunk city you can fully explore and actually buy a house in and you can customize your cyberself, want a chainsaw arm? Sure. Feel like having a rocket launcher arm the next day? By all means, if you got the credits you can have it.
i wish i could freeze myself
Anyone who has played a video game will immediately die
>>331545624
But you accidentaly do it the first time infront of secret FBI agents gathering, who proceeds to secretly haul yo ass to an undisclosed location, where you shall live the remaining of your life as an experimentee
>>331545875
Granted, but there's no actual gameplay and it plays like a point and click adventure with graphics from the late '80s.
>>331545875
Granted, its such a performance heavy gsme that nothing can run it, you die before something that can run it is created
>>331545964
You can, go to Alaska.
>>331545397
Granted. Capcom releases a few thousand copies in select locations (ie: Bumfuck Nowhere), then claims it sold poorly.
>>331545829
I do, but it still has to be logical, there is no logic in video games stopping to exist because there are no consoles.
>>331546081
>but it still has to be logical
Not really, the whole deal is that you make a wish and the wish is granted but there is a horrible twist/cost that makes it not worth it.
>>331546081
Judging by what you just said, no, you don't understand how the monkey paw works
>>331537173
I wish for the poor monkey to get his hand back.
>>331545970
Thank God the indie developers are safe
>>331546201
Granted (insert monkey rape joke here)
>>331545996
Pssh nigger by then ill have a cyberheart and live forever
>>331544425
Granted. They love it because it's a metroidvania and nothing more. Your shallow fanbase won't even remember your game's name.
>>331546162
Yeah, but that's like wishing for good looks and the twist is that you suddenly die next day, while the proper monkey paw twist should stem from your own desire turning against you.
>>331546454
So
>>331545659
did it right either way.
>>331546527
No, there is no correlation between existence of consoles and existence of video games. Video games would exist with or without consoles.
>>331545983
That's not a bad thing at all.
>>331537173
VR to be perfected
Consoles to die or become PCs like they're trying to be(except Nintendo)
Kotaku and other shitty sites to die(looking likely after Hogan took the championship belt from them)
SJWs/Tumblrites to stop forcing censorship
>>331546654
Prove it. Go to your hypothetical universe and bring back some evidence.
I want Bungie to stop being terrible and focus on revitalizing their good IPs. Marathon 4 and Myth 4 pls.
I wish visual novels stopped existing
I wish that playing any game with shooters turns young cis males into school shooters!
Ha! Take that! Now what, stupid monkey paw! I can't access guns! I also don't go to school anymore! And have no cousins or close family (that I care for) in a school! Come at me!
for the next FE to be well written and on the NX
>>331540865
You accidentally the whole thing
>>331545727
I thought it was generally accepted that monkey paws granted more than one wish
>>331546980
Granted retroactively, you got shot and killed by a gamer when you were six years old and the world was a better place for it.
>>331546928
Granted, now all the people interested in them start buying Bioware-EA RPGs and David Cage games making them most profitable and sought-after genres.
>>331546872
Granted. But it turns out they were in the red and had to sell their top IPs under the table.
>>331546928
Granted. Any popular visual novel series is now a point n click or whatever genre TellTale games would be classified as.
>>331547235
>telltale
Shit I didn't think that through
>>331547071
TIME PARADOX!
Raiden! You've changed the future!
>>331547071
That's some time bender shit. How dies that work. Also fuck you for wanting me dead. Can I wish for this anons death too?
I wish for a new Little Tail Bronx game to be developed, only with an actual big budget on something that isn't a handheld or phone.
>>331547408
Do you wish for my death? Granted, your mother runs me over in a drunk driving accident and it not only kills both of us, but everyone in a crowded orphanage as well.
>>331547043
Granted. But Fire Emblem game gets swept under the rug along with any other rumored NX titles.
>>331547470
Granted. The models and sprites are low-quality and the HUD is way too big.
It's obviously designed to be on a handheld or a phone, but it was ported to console/PC with no changes to the UI.
>>331539654
Since the paw didn't do anything drastic I'm going to assume it was bad.
>>331547738
Fucking dammit
>>331543910I'd still play it
I wish for something good for humanity to happen within the next 48 hours.
>>331548412
Granted, but then the nukes drop three hours afterwards.
>>331548564
Dang it anon.
>>331537274
I can grant your wish, senpai, just send me your address. :^)
Make me immortal!
>>331547503
And nothing of value was lost. Drunk drivers are scum.
>>331549280
you are now immortal and suicidal
>>331537173
All the videogames ever made are mine.
But I have to beat them all.
>>331549380
Agreed. Should be a felony on the first offense.
>>331549280
>>331549382
immortal ≉ invulnerable
I wish video games NEVER EXISTED!
>>331539437
finally
>>331537173
I wish for the final chapter to be released.
>>331550765
Fuck you, it's faggots using a monkey paw to get MGSV in the first place that fucked everything up.
I wish this monkey paw had one less finger.
>>331550371
Granted, but visual novels become extremely popular and are classified as fancy books. Danganronpa becomes one of the most popular works ever made.
I WISH I HAD A MAGIC LAMP WITH A GENIE THAT WILL GRANT MY WISHES REGARDING THE INTENT OF THE WISH AND NOT THE VERNACULAR
>>331550987
>Danganronpa
That's the one with the crazy-eyes tittymonster girl, right?
I wish to be a cute gamer girl~<3
>>331551257
Granted, but you fall victim to leftist propaganda and become a hairy armpitted hatemonger.
>>331551173
Pic is a spoiler
Are you referring to pic related?
>>331551351
Yessir. I eventually need to look into playing these games.
>>331551483
They're pretty fantastic senpai.
Lots of well made twists, likable characters, and some pretty pimpin' music. And of course lots of waifuable girls.
>>331551630
I don't really care about waifus and whatnot, more interested in the story and music, plus the art is cool. I remember years ago the series was on a list of "games that will probably never be localized" and it's funny how those lists are always wrong, like Mr. Mosquito and Katamari Damacy.
>>331550987
Hah! I am perfectly OK with this! I win monkey paw!
>>331537173
I wish EA goes bankrupt.
>>331552074
An unemployed EA employee gets desperate for money and kills you during a mugging.
>>331552530
I'll be glad to take that for the greater good.
I wish this thread won't die…
>>331553457
The monkey paw is not a god anon
