Adventure Thing, part 23
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Oh shit nigger, you're a thief.
You're currently inside The Royal Vault to oversee an Apprentice Thief plunder its riches.
What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>321025446
Cursed artifacts
You're a really bad artist.
>>321025446
go to the kitchen
>>321025446
Punch yourself in the face.
>I'm a theif
but I'm 260 pounds and 6'4, I'd be one shitty fatfag of a thief
can I be a berserker? I want to be a berserker. I'll break shit.
>>321025446
Summon meteor
>>321025446
Visit the gold vault
I heard Uncle Assdick was making his monthly run today.
What happened with a Little Girl Dickass Thief?
>>321025526
YOu head towards the room labeled "Cursed Artifact"
>>321025545
Never said I wasn't
>>321025819
Looks legit
>>321025819
Doorhandles are cursed, fortunately it's a minor curse and just makes your hands all slimy.
>>321025819
Curse at the door to open it.
>>321025819
kick down the doors
>>321025819
Enter the room.
It's filled with various items shouting profanities.
>>321025928
"FUCKING SHIT"
"ASSFUCKING COCKSUCKER"
"NIGGERS"
"FUCK YOUUUUUU"
These artifacts are pretty rude
>>321026108
"Your mother was a hamster!"
>>321026108
cast vacuum
>>321026108
Is that the free wish cupcake?
>>321026108
Our poor Christian ears.Where's the donte artifact?
>>321026108
ask them if they want to go on adventure with a little girl and wimpy prince
>>321026108
Teach the artifacts to control their outburstsby venting on the internet
>>321026108
Rude helmet seems like it could come in handy. Sneakily put it on someone and everyone nearby gets pissed off at them.
>>321026159
"Now that was just uncalled for"
"You monster"
"Are you french? Only frogs could be so rude"
>>321026319
Bully the artifacts
>>321026319
The cursed sword flies up in the air and decapitates apprentice thief prince
>>321026319
Use your dickass knowledge to evaluate which cursed artifact will bring the best value on black market and will give least curses.
>>321026319
Locate thedonteartifact.
>>321026319
Eat the cupcake
>>321026319
What's that on the 4th pesdestal?
>>321026319
"Your mother"
The artifacts burst into flames from your sick burn
>>321026319
Can you fuck the helmet or cupcake?
>>321026389
The muffin seems to have the least curses. But the Sword worths more.
>>321026529
Equip the gauntlet
>>321026529
What about the hand?
>>321026529
Take Donte.statue.
>>321026529
We aren't made of gold, we take the sword.
>>321026529
blow out the candle
>>321026529
Search for secret doors.
>>321026628
You got: Cursed Sword
"BITCH"
>>321026741
ask him for some wisdom
>>321026741
Hand it to apprentice for safer containment.
>>321026741
level up
>>321026839
"DON'T DROP ME YOU FUCKER"
>>321027051
you are stopped by captain of the guard
who happens to have to limbs but moves through sheer willpower
>>321027051
Search for secret doors with the prince's magic powers of door finding.
>>321027051
drop him, bitch needs to learn respect
>>321027051
go to the regular artifacts
>>321027051
How is the King handling the disappearance of the prince?
>>321027051
Consider the other rooms for proper apprentice training.
>>321027051
woops
>>321027086
no limbs, I mean
>>321027051
He immediately drops it in surprise.
The sword slaps him like the bit he is.
>>321027128
Venting his anger by genociding Barbarians
>>321027458
you encounter a love rival
>>321027458
The king and all of his men are abducted by aliens
>>321027458
accidentally drop sword
>>321027458
Now back to our regularly scheduled adventure
>>321027458
How is the skeleking doing?
>>321027458
Visit the gold vault.
Your not as successful, but still expert uncle, AssDick Thief, is making the monthly loot run, and you may as well help.
>>321027458
At least he's enjoying himself.
Now that we got the sword, we'd better get out of here.
>>321027509
Oh shit, the kings gonna get alien powers.
>>321027458
Might as well grab the muffin while you're here. Never know when you'll need a snack.
>>321027458
He realizes that maybe it was the Thief.
>>321027509
"Ayy Humans, we have been observing you and have deemed you worthy of breeding with us to create the perfect species. Let us show you the sexy xeno women you'll be mating wi--"
"FUCK YOU XENOS" the king and his men yell.
Then they start to genocide the aliens.
>>321027923
well fug, back to the two little thiefs
you encounter a love rival, little girl castle guard
>>321027923
All of a sudden
>>321027923
How's Mr. Skeletal doing?
>>321027923
Give apprentice short lecture on noblement of thief profession and decadence of royalty as an institute.
>>321027923
suddenly dogs
>>321027923
The sexy xeno lady looks on the ayy genocide with digust and a bit of lust.
She doesn't get hurt or kill
>>321028203
She doesn't recognize the prince.
>>321028203
Impress her with your cool new sword.
>>321028203
bully the little girl knight
>>321028203
Persuade her not to tell
>>321028203
quick, steal her heartliterally
>>321028203
Flirt with her
>>321028203
Get out before she can steal the prince back.
>>321028203
she questions you
and about that sword
>>321028203
Teach apprentice how to quickly disappear from girls, or guards rather.
>>321028203
"Well, fuck."
The TGT thread gets deleted but this shit stays up?
>>321028298
"You! What are you doing here with the prince! And My Lord! Why do you have the Cursed Sword?"
"FUCK OFF CUUUUUUNT"
steal HER FUCKING MEMORIES
>>321028479
Steal the princeagainand flee.
>>321028479
fight for your love, i guess
>>321028479
I can explainyou can't explain
>>321028479
steal her pants and run
>>321028479
Nervously steal random things while thinking up an answer.
>>321028479
>>321028589
Let the sword explain.
>>321028479
Steal her heart.
>>321028479
Use the sword on the little girl, if this post is a 5 or lower, bonus effect of the cursed spirit moving into the girl.
>>321028539
It must be one of the curses
>>321028589
"Well, you see, it's because........I got nothing"
damnit
>>321028768
Wait what happened to the sword
>>321028768
try to flee with prince and sword
>>321028768
Throw something at her and make your daring escape!
>>321028768
abunai
>>321028768
steal an explanation
>>321028768
Steal the concept of diplomacy to cleverly wiggle out of this one.
>>321028849
"HEY! UNHAND THE PRINCE!"
One of the curses is clothing removal
>>321029051
Flee while the sword keeps yelling.
>>321029051
Yakety Sax time.
>>321029051
Good thing thiefs are faster than guards.
>>321029051
Throw prince at girl knight, "Catch"
>>321029051
She throws her spear at you.
You are unable to steal it, on account of you carrying the prince.
>>321029051
Steal things while running.
The prince commands here to freeze
>>321029051
Throw the prince to gain a speed boost.
>>321029051
Tell her it's the prince's royal training and she's interfering with things that are above the likes of her
>>321029458
Any advice dad?
>>321029458
Tell her this is super duper top secret training for the prince.
>>321029458
The alien ship crashes into the castle, killing everyone except for you, the pronce, and the king
>>321029458
Drop the prince after you take the sword from him.
>>321029458
The music transitions to a benny hill hall of doors chase.
>>321029458
Forget what you were doing and rest for a minute.
>>321029589
ohshitnigger
>>321029458
You decide to romance the girl.
>>321029774
STEAL THE CRASHING SHIP!
>>321029774
Find something gay
>>321029774
Just kidding. Nobody died. But escape in the confusion
>>321029774
Consider stealing alien ship.
>>321029774
You leave with the prince of thieves back to your dad!
>>321029774
[muffled "ayy lmao" in the distance]
>>321029774
The king is so mad that he goes on a galaaxy wide trip to wipe out all the Xenos
>>321029774
You find that the girl's is still alive but here helmet was destroyed.
She's cute.
>>321029869
"My son! You! Why do you have him with you?!"
"Ah yes! My lord! We've just rescued him from the clutches of those evil barbarians who kidnapped him! Isn't that right, my prince?"
"Well-" "OF COURSE IT'S RIGHT. So now here you go my lord, your son, the prince. Time for dem rewards"
>>321030218
Keep on your cool face.
>>321030218
king is suspicious
>>321030218
Continue
>>321030218
ask if the rewards a puppy
>>321030218
He gives us 1 gold coin
>>321030218
Get some xeno tech.
>>321030218
King gives you the other cursed artifacts.
>>321030218
Dance off
>>321030218
Fuck no.
The King begins to genocide the thief villages.
>>321030218
You roll for a bluff check ^
>>321030327
"Yes, the Special Turbo Dexluxe Limited Edition Royal Gold Coin. Worth about 1 million normal gold coins"
>>321030589
You go to the stock market. Time to put that money to good use.
>>321030589
Thanks king. Wink at the prince.
>>321030589
Buy his Kingdom with it.
>>321030589
The Cursed Sword eats the coin, then starts swearing again.
>>321030589
But did you remember take the incriminating Cursed Sword from prince?
>>321030589
Cursed sword decapitates Prince
>>321030589
Out of no where dick ass jew
>>321030589
use it to buy the castle
>>321030589
Doubt
>>321030689
"TIME TO DIE BIIIIITCH-"
"You're going back inside the vault"
"FUCK"
>>321031017
Man those cursed artifacts are really, uh, cursed huh king?
>>321031017
Cast vacuum
>>321031017
the vault was crunched by the ufo, releasing all the cursed items into the kingdom ruins
>>321031073
On the prince with your mouth.
>>321031017
WOW, just how did the sword get here from vault? Well, time to go.
>>321031017
girl thief gives the prince a wink and bows a kiss.
>>321031017
The sword would probably break on contact anyway.
Thank the king and be on our way.
>>321031017
Prince shrugs thankfully at the interesting day.
>>321031017
All of a sudden a war horn rings
>>321031017
Skeleton king comes in.
>>321031017
The ayys launch their counterattack!
This time, they're using their UFO's to attack the castle from above.
>>321031128
And so you headed home with your dad. Overall tonight was a success.
>>321031504
Shift frame to little girl knight, blushing and thinking about dickass thief son.
>>321031504
Also a bit sad because the prince isn't ours any more.
>>321031504
Start a new game.
>>321031504
All of a sudden the anthem of the East blazes out across the kingdom
>>321031504
when suddenly aliens and barbarians and cursed items are attacking the town!
>>321031504
Stop right there criminal scum
>>321031504
Sell the coin to a local medieval stock trader.
>>321031504
Poll for new adventure.
>>321031504
Counter thief thieves your dad right oout from underneath you.
>>321031649
Is this it? The end of Adventure Thing 2?
Will we now choose a new adventure?!
Or Choose a new class again because I'm a faggot that loves stalling.
>>321031850
peasant lock in
>>321031850
New class, totally human king, lock in
>>321031850
New class
>>321031850
Only after a dinner scene in the Dickass family.
>>321031850
NEW ADVENTURE
and if so a new thread?
>>321031850
Enough adventures in medieval times. Let's move tolizard freedom fighters part 2.
>>321031850
Yah, put it away for now.
Maybe we can have some new things before the end of the year.
>>321031978
nah we should do a christmas special
>>321031978
>>321032057
Lizard Christmas special?
>>321031978
"But I rike the medievals. We haven't had medievals for almost a year before this."
-A skeleton, difintely not OP
>>321032195
Lizard fighters.
Or a Hard-boiled Detective adventure.
>>321032195
Well then just make it a Medieval Christmas special if you love it so much.
>>321032195
Cut to scene of King being eldritch'd to set up sequel
>>321032195
we will still need something christmassy
>>321032195
Your facade is as empty as your threats! Medieval lizard family christmas special extravaganza!
>>321032195
Medival scifi
>>321032195
Kill all the lizards
>>321032286
And now for a very special episode of Adventure Thing. First choose the class to embark on this Christmas Adventure.
>>321032605
Christmas box
>>321032605
Wizard. We Santa Claus.
>>321032605festivepeasant
>>321032605
Christmas Elf
>>321032605
christmas wizard
>>321032605
Knight and Wizard save Christmas lock in
>>321032605
No mystery boxen?
Pick inquisitor.
>>321032605
Inquisitor
>>321032605
Wizard time
>>321032605
i wanna be a grinch
>>321032605
bard
>>321032605
duelist.
It's time to duel.
>>321032605
Inquisitor.
>>321032679
Ya sure m8
>>321032978
Fuck no, open the mystery present.
>>321032978
Christmas Knight and Christmas Wizars save Chrostmas lock in
>>321032978
Yes
>>321032978
Lock in.
>>321032978
heck yeah! but it needs to be female
>>321032978
NO ELF
PALADIN SANTA
>>321033132
GODDAMN IT, WE COULD'VE HAD THIS!
>>321032978
Bestow the power of CHRIST upon the HEATHENS who celebrate christmas WRONGLY!
>>321033029
You are The Elf. You're a bit different from your elven bothers(or sisters, can't never tell with elves) since you work in a human city. Currently you're on the job of being a Christmas elf in Ye Olde Town Square.
What do you do?
>>321033356
Sing obnoxious elvish christmas songs
>>321033356
Make toys for children.
>>321033356
Go ask Santa what we should be doing.
>>321033356
We have to visit all the people in the land to find who's been naughty and who's been nice.
>>321033356
Shit, I don't know how to elf, I mean I always just killed them.
>>321033356
Go on a journey of self-discovery.
>>321033398
Part of the job requires you to put the townspeople into the festive mood. Luckily you knew some elvish christmas songs to serenade the humans with.
Man this costume chafes up your butt
>>321033674
Chafe harder
>>321033674
Act gay and be merry!
>>321033674
The Mall Santa you're assigned to is a Paladin.
>>321033674
sing louder
>>321033674
you find a bag full of infinite christmas presents
>>321033739
We're an elf, the gay part comes naturally.
>>321033739
"SHUT UP" yelled one of the villagers
"GO BACK TO HUMPING TREES" yelled another
>>321034001
We've done a good enough job. Time to ask Santa for a raise.
>>321034001
Hey man that's fucking racist
>>321034001
unhinge jaw for maximum effectiveness
>>321034001
Give the crowd what they want, I guess. Let's go find a tree.
>>321034049
"Whatchu gonna do about it, faggot elf?"
>>321034267
Punch him in the nose.
>>321034267
Where's PC Santa, I've been triggered
>>321034267
Had enough racism, time for some christmas terrorism.
>>321034267
Tell Santa you're being a bitch ass nigga
>>321034267
shank him with your candy cane blade you fashioned yourself with your mouth
>>321034267
Show them a christmas miracle
>>321034339
"Who's being a bitchass nigga?"
>>321034267
Cut him up and process him into actual faggots, as in the meat patties.
We butchering now.
>>321034595
>>321034267
This bitchass nigga.
>>321034595
king
>>321034595
Paladin Santa, the Villagers are being grinchy and racist, put them on the naughty list.
>>321034595
Point to the bitchass nigga
>>321034595
this nigga right here
i say we ahh show him some a little "holiday spirit"
if you know what i'm sayin
>>321034595
BenisArse Pilferer, distant relative to DickAss.
>>321034656
"Is it true, King? Are you being a bitchass nigga?"
[Jaguar noises]
>>321034880
Anyone a cat whisperer?
>>321034880
he is fucking OP
>>321034880
Perhaps,
He's slated for the naughty list, in any case.
>>321034880
see, he admits it
>>321034880
Hey Santa! Fuck you!
>>321034926
[Dismissive jaguar noises]
>>321035079
QUICK, THERE IS A KID BEING NAUGHTY IN THE DISTANCE!
>>321035079
Hey Santa, where's the fuckin' tricycle I asked for when I was three?
>>321035079
Remove the Jaguar head, it's getting in the way.
>>321035189
"Under the christmas tree. But your elven family burned it because it's a human product "
>>321035352
Elves really are the worst aren't we?
>>321035352
Go on an elf genocide in order to calm our bloodlust.
>>321035352
santa hands king a present
>>321035352
You know what? SCREW CHRISTMAS!
>>321035437
And so Satan gave King the World Heavyweight Championship.
You are ordered to keep the children in line.
"Move knife ears! It's my turn to ask Sant afor a present"
>>321035673
"Ey don't be racist I'll get you slapped on that naughty list myself"
>>321035673
Gently and slowly place him onto Paladin's lap.
>>321035673
What is that a jew behind you?
>>321035673
punch the naughty
>>321035673
Suddenly John Cena challenges King for the title!
Why is this still called Adventure Thing? Haven't you gone through 3 or 4 protagonists by now?
>>321035673
i got a present for ya right here
[candy cane shv]
>>321035673
Ya wot m8?
I'll fooking stab ya in the shin swear on me mum.
>>321035746
"Now what do you want for chrsitmas, child?"
"SANTA, WHERE'S YOUR HAT?"
"Fell off when I was purging heret--putting naughty kids on the naughty list"
>>321035801
Yeah, and all chosen from the same group of class list. Adventure Thign just means multiple adventures with protags from that list.
>>321036275
"I WANT A KING ACTION FIGURE, WITH BARBARIAN SLAUGHTERING ACTION!"
>>321036275
Another little brat demands to see the santa right now
>>321036275
The Christmas elf makes his way to a fairly pretty townsperson.
>>321036386
It's the king's son.
>>321036386
"O! IT'S MY TURN TO GET PRESENTS!"
>>321036597
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little kid? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Workshop Elves, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on literally every chimney that exists, and I have over 300 confirmed deliveries. I am trained in jolly warfare and I’m the top sledder in the entire Antarctica armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another naughty. I will coal you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this realm, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the real life? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Reindeer across the realm and your chimney is being traced right now so you better prepare for the gifts, maggot. The gifts that are part of the pathetic little thing you call your holiday. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can deliver you presents in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my silly hat. Not only am I extensively trained in every form of travel, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Antarctica Toy Constructors and I will use it to its full extent to deliver your miserable gifts off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will deliver presents all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking naughty, kiddo.
>>321036597
Subdue the children through the power of song.
>>321036597
And another
And another, and another...
>>321036597
Do not punch do not punch do not punch do not punch do not punch do not punch do not punch
>>321036676
"NO IT'S MY TURN!"
"NO! ME!"
"ME!"
"GET OFF! IT'S MY TURN!"
"NO IT'S MINE!"
>>321036902
you start drowning
>>321036902
Op, you gotta do it
Draw the elf as the Doomguy handing away the presents
>>321036902
Pray to Jesus, the God of Christmas, to save you.
>>321036902
Keep the children in line. At all costs.
>>321037298
Stop before you piss off mr.pala- I mean santa.
>>321037298
it doesn't work
>>321037298
Start screaming.
>>321037298
The children get abducted by aliens
>>321037298
their ears start to bleed
>>321037356
You stop jus tin time, the children seems to have clamed down thanks to your beautiful elven song
>>321037539
now its a well mannered kids turn
>>321037539
Brain damaged children ask for horrible things from Santa.
>>321037539
give them all coal
>>321037595
"Now what do you want for Christmas, little one?""A steak with ketchup"
>>321037742
purge mode activated
>>321037742HERESY!
>>321037742
SANTA'S GETTING UPSET
>>321037742
Drop a pile of coal on that heretic.
>>321037819
"Also I'd like that steak to be well done please"
>>321037976
chew your steakin hell!
>>321037976
Throw the kid in the general direction of tavern.
>>321037976
replace child with someone with manners
>>321037976HER-E-SY!
>>321037976
monk shows up and and pushes his way through
>>321038068
"Next"
>>321038274
The kids recover from stun status and swarm the Santa
>>321038274
Dickass Thief's daughter comes.
>>321038274
Suddenly the real Santa shows up
>>321038367
"Wassup HoHoHomies?"
I'm still laughing from the cursing artifacts.
>>321038537
The BIBLE doesn't say anything about real Santa. But since it's Christmas, we'll just ask him to go away nicely.
>>321038537
He thanks us for helping him today and goes on his merry way, dispensing presents to the people
>>321038537
Santa?!??!?!?!
>>321038537
fuck off
>>321038537
Tell santa about these triflin' ass mothafuckas
>>321038537
then orc Santa shows up but it's just an orc krumpus
>>321038616
"Ah! An elf! Much bigger than the ones I have at the workshop. Helping the townspeople to get into the festive mood I see"
>>321038767
gee whiz santa
>>321038767
ask santa if he's a heretic
>>321038767
Ask him to kill all those inferior humans for Christmas.
>>321038767
Kill Santa
>>321038896
"Well that explains my lack of pants"
>>321039090
give him a pair of pants
>>321039090
Tis the season give him pants
>>321039090
AN ORC BARBARIAN!
Wait, in the last thread didn't we find a skeleton in a coffin? What happened?
>>321039090
Wizard Santa shows up.
>>321039212
He fucked off somewhere.Maybe he's celebrating Christmas with his sons.
>>321039193
"Thank you. I will treasure this forever"
Orc Krampus has now found meaning in life
>>321039376
Dickass Thief steals Christmas!
>>321039376
he is now known as a lover of giving and elf sex
>>321039376
they were too small and break instantly
>>321039429
Oh no!
>>321039606
Quick after him!
>>321039606
Cue grinch parody
>>321039606
Now, no worries, we can just make more gifts, we're an elf.
>>321039606
try to save Christmas from the dickass thiefand fail spectacularly
>>321039606
Now that's just pure evil.
>>321039606
oh what a shame
theif is to blame
this is lame
>>321039606
Quick! Grab your bow and shoot the bag so all the contents fall out!
>>321039664
[Insert rhymes here]
>>321039991
TIME TO SAVE CHRISTMAS
>>321039991
DAT is distracted when Death appears to reclaim the soul of DAT Daughter
>>321039991
orc krumpus dick grew 3 times that day and landed on dickass theif
>>321039991
I hope one day we get to see metal wizard again. I haven't been that hyped since gurren lagaan
>>321040049
"We'll be taking this back, thank you"
>>321040212
Not continuing his adventure is a good thing, we could have caused Metal Wizard's death. This way he's still alive, somewhere.
>>321040319
Spread Christmas joy across the land
>>321040319
Suddenly Santa is revealed to be Satan
>>321040319
Christmas is saved
now drink mead
>>321040319
Real Santa takes a hard look at our Santa
>>321040387
He didn't die, we just abandoned him.
>>321040319
Give a small gift to him and Death though. Everyone deserves Christmas.
>>321040319
Christmas sack is full of spiders.
>>321040387
what happend with monk before metal wizard
>>321040387
BUT DEATH IS TOTALLY METAL!
>>321040462
He was about to die but then a heavenly mercenary showed up and killed the horror
>>321040408
But can your elven stomache tolerate human mead?
>>321040564
that was Thomas the headless karate master, right?
>>321040620
Only one way to find out
Ask Santa.
>>321040620
With a Christmas miracle.NOW DRINK
>>321040620
Don't be such a pussy, drink the mead
>>321040620
Won't know until we try.
>>321040423
And that saved his life.
>>321040620
Only one way to find out.
>>321040620
drink wax to protect stomach
>>321040620
drink it you pussy
>>321040640
No, Thomas ascended into heaven, and I don't mean he died, he became so powerful he just ascended to another level beyond humanity
>>321040640
No, Thomas ascended into heaen with the power of 80s montage music.
Then God ate him
>>321040669
Drinking...
This is completely unrelated to the thread but I feel an anonymous image board such as /v/ could help me out with something like this more than anywhere else. (im drunk so please bare with me), i've found myself for the first time in a situation where i can lose my virginity but I don't know if I should, i know there's a lot of people on here who would kill to be in my position but i for whatever reason find myself unsettled to giving my first time to some random fling. I know that afterwards most people think it to be point less to have given so much high standard to their virginity.
So what should I do senpai's? Should I just do it and not give a fuck? Even though this girl isn't even that attractive? It'd only be for the sake of fucking that I do this. i feel autistic for saying this on this board of all but fuck it, there's enough people here who have experinced shit i never have or will in their life time so it's worth asking for your input
>>321040912
Keep drinking
>>321040912
!t was poisoned by satan
>>321040912
It's too strong.
>>321040912
Poison status acquired.
Also, suddenly everyone looks nicer.
>>321040912
harder
>>321040912
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
>>321041040
made a post there and it's been 2 hours without any replies. just wanted to get it out before my buzz wore off. sorry for being a fucking faggot
>>321041140
So it faggot. It's ok to loose your virginity to a man
>>321040987
Well now you feel funny
>>321041284
Hold it together.
>>321041140
Just do it. No ragrets.
>>321041284
pork the hottest bitch you find
>>321041284
Kill children
>>321041284
You decide to drunkenly make drunken toys.
>>321041284
Roll constitution
>>321041337
Might as well.
>>321041337
We're becoming elf Texas.
>>321041337
>1337
>>321041256
>>321041331
you guys are probably right
i dont think ill ever find a person i think is worth since i doubt ill be in an actual stable relationship ever.
thanks /v/, you may have helped this 19 y/o autist actually try and not be a faggot
>>321041337
Yes, let them behold the power of your Godslaying Punch.
>>321041519
Santa is too drunk to notice
>>321041519
Drunkenly flirt with Santa Paladin
>>321041519
orc krumpus feels an it Christmas shinanagins, orc attacks elf
>>321041519
You see the spirit of Christmas past.It's a mirror
>>321041519
Ah shit I forgot we're an elf.DRUNKEN STRENGTH!
>>321041519Forgetting something, NaP?
Get scared at the thought that Santa may not give you your gift for slaying kids
>>321041472
Kid, I'll Gove you an advice. Don't look for stable relationships, never ever look for them, because you won't find one. Focus on yourself, hit the gym ( if you are like 90% of people here), and be happy by yourself .
>>321041705
>>321041256
I have the worst typos ever.
>>321041608
What the? Who is this jackass?
>>321041624>Forgetting something, NaP?
I forget lots of things
>>321041817
He's insulting you.PUNCH HIM
>>321041817
Maybe you're the reflection
>>321041817
Hallucinate about future of elven race.
>>321041817
Punch dat nigga
>>321041817
Is there a god?
>>321041817
called you an elf bitch, fight him
>>321041817
punch yourself in the face
>>321041907
"Hmm? What's that noise?|
>>321042073
Quick! You must hide!
>>321042073
Throw up
>>321042073
Holy shit we actually broke it, we must be the strongest elf to ever walk this Earth.
>>321042073
NotaSanta I think I broke a *hick!* nail:(
>>321041787
>>321041256
Thanks man, I mean I don't even know where to look for one since I've never actually even been in a stable relationship but I'll take your advice.
Thank you.
>>321042189
woooo!
>>321042441
Call the Cleric.
>>321042441
Santa is disappointed
>>321042441
Ask what NotaSanta wants for Christmas and begin a journey to go an get it
>>321042441
Die
>>321042441
santa saving your life by making you a cyborg you never asked to
>>321042441
Realize our hidden potential and challenge the current heavyweight champion to a boxing match.
>>321042441
ask santa to glass you
>>321026319
hey now wait a minute
>>321042496
"How did this happen?"
>>321042694
We got in a fight with the ghost of Christmas past.AND WON!
>>321042667
Hey, it was a Monty Python reference, and the lien was said by a french guy.
Yes, that's totally the reason. Believe me.
>>321042694
Blame Christmas.
>>321042694
dickass thief girl eats the glass
>>321042756
"And what did this "ghost of christmas past" look like?"
>>321042869
You're asking me too many questions....
>>321042869
he looked like a bitch!
>>321042869
Like a filthy knife-ear.
>>321042869
Like mys- uh, Santa Claus.
>>321042869
LIKE YOUR MOTHER
>>321042869
Richard millhouse nixon
>>321042869
Like a heretic
>>321043047
He looked like elf Santa Claus.
>>321043047
Santa why!!?
Krumpus why?!
>>321043047
Throw a glass of eggnog at some guy to start a bar brawl
>>321043047
Avert your gaze in shame.
>>321043098
This betrayal was too much, you can't help but cry
>>321043321
Start a brawl
>>321043321
Remember that the ghost had white clothes and it was not santa. Also he had that bitch ass look in his eyes
>>321043321
You go back to your shitty elf village.
>>321043321
Get a hold of yourself man!
We gotta remember what that ghost looked like.
>>321043321
Paladin-Santa and the cleric gang up on Santa.
>>321043321
Help Paladin restore honor to the title of Santa.
>>321043408
And so you start to crawl towards the door to go back to your shitty elf village. Crying all the way.
>>321043604
Nobody really tries to stop you since you're so pathetic.
>>321043604
Do elves even have villages? I thought they lived in big old tree trunks or something.
>>321043604
They're gonna make us burn our Christmas outfit, plus we just proved we're strong enough to beat a ghost, we'll never fit in again.
>>321043604
The Santas feel sorry for your worthless ass and the cleric heals you.
>>321043604
2 days later
>>321043604
You get violent flashbacks while crawling to your superior (compared to human town) elf village
>>321043801
nightmare mode
>>321043698
This made you realize you can't even go back to your shitty elf village. This fills you with despair so you opt to go cry in the corner.
>>321043684
Well yeah, a group of those tree trunks is called an elf village. That's why they're so shitty.
>>321043956
And so you start a life of a Christmas elf ghostbuster vigilante. While sobbing.
>>321043956
Someone attempts to comfort you. It's Christmas, after all.
>>321043956
Sing a Christmasy song.
>>321043956
Elves should not get drunk.
>>321043956
Get a hold of yourself.
>>321043956
bloo bloo silver bells
>>321043956
Crying is weak. Beat weakness out of yourself.
PUNCH SELF IN FACE TO BEAT THE WEAKNESS OUT
WE STRONK NOW
>>321044013
"Now now, calm down."
>>321043956
become manly somehow
>>321044374
find ghosts
>>321044374
Get a hold of yourself.This is why elves shouldn't drink.
>>321044374
Give him an elven hug.
>>321044387
>>321044283
The only way to become manly
>>321044374
>>321044428
You got a hold of yourself.
Don't let your elf drink, kids.
>>321044723
Become Donald TrumpI just wanna see how you'd draw Trump's face
>>321044723
Now,PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE!
>>321044723
Sober up
Slap self in the face
We are ready to help Santa again
>>321044723
Punch yourself in face so hard you become Trump
>>321044723
Become manly
>>321044723
The grip is too strong and your wrist snaps.
Boy, you're a weak elf... Strong elf... Weak elf... I dunno!
>>321044816
You clamed down. Probably
>>321045065
pull santa's beard
>>321045065PUNCH SELF IN FACE!
>>321045065
Stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself
Stop hitting yourself
>>321045065
ask palasanta what is the best course of action
>>321045217
You feel an overwhileming sense of tradition. This is right. This is what you were meant to do.
So Op, do you have that 2015 image ready?
>>321045378
Ask Santa what do you have to do next
>>321045378
look for satan
>>321045436
"You had a long night. Go to bed">So Op, do you have that 2015 image ready?
Goddamnit, and here I thought I could be lazy this tiem
>>321045378
Somewhere, in another time line a wizard on metal concert did the same.
You got a bit of his power through a tear in spacetime continuum
>>321045436
>all those adventures I missed completely
>all those adventures I never saw the ends of
>all those potential game changing 9's that I didn't see
Is this despair?
>>321045624
This one
>>321045614
go to baed, daerm about helping and revenge
>>321045665
No anon it is hope.I both ended the Dick ass Daughter and started the Christmas event, plus I got us drunk and then got a hold of ourselves.
>>321045665
Download the archives and experience them secondhand
>>321045665
Don't you worry none anon, courtesy of OP
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
>>321045614
What's that line on your helmet santa?
>>321045750Do you think in 2 years we can kill Horsecock and conquer the King's female knight harem?
OP when are we going to get Adventure Thing in space?
>>321045665
>tfw all those 9s wasted on shitposters announcing their reports or pointing out that this thread isn't vidya when we're just having fun
>>321045820We'd have to actually cooperate, so no.
>>321045614
Can I cut off your hand and replace it as my own so I can draw my own adventures?you're the bestest drawfag I've ever seen.
>>321045880
>>321045820
Also OP is unclear about if Horsefucker killing the king is canon or not. He does kill the king in this time line/universe/whatever so it should be, but we came really close to killing the King with the Barbarian. And Op that majestic faggot is never willing to clarify.
>>321045916
Not the best, but sure is comfiest, which is the same thing, actually.
>>321045728
And so you slept.
You should probably end your adventure now. Unless you want something terrible to happen.
>>321045827
Next year
>>321046002
SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS
>>321046002
>derrible things happening
MAKE IT SO
>>321046002
SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS
>>321046002
Yeah, good time to end this one.
So how about a strawpoll for a next adventure?
>>321045981
>came really close to killing the King with the Barbarian
>mfw this is what filthy dumb barbarian scum believes
>>321045981
Best I've gotten is it happens after whatever we're doing.
>>321046002
Save, andnew thread or stop here?
>>321045916
he's by far not the best, but he's really good at making fast doodles that still make everything perfectly clear
which is far better than being the best drawfag for these kind of things
>>321046069
King leave, just go enjoy your Christmas with skeleking.
>>321045916
He sure is the best at quest drawing
it's so fast, so clean, so fun. Nobody can compete to that
>>321046069
QUIET YOU, well end you one day. . . .
>>321046069
NIGGER WE TRANSCENDED DEATH AND SEND OUR OLD WISE BARBARIAN SELF TO OUR YOUNGER SELF TO GAIN POWER BEYOND FORMER BARBARIAN BELIEF
I WILL FUCK THE KNIGHT HAREM IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO
>>321046069
We were actually rolling on random.org and OP said we needed a 90 to dodge his attack or some shit I can't remember exactly but we got 63 and bam. Imagine what would have happened if we got that roll tho.
>>321046067
And so ends the Christmas Elf's Christmas Adventure, and thus Adventure Thing 2.
That's another year of adventuring done. Love you guys. Time for strawpoll
>>321046182
We already did, go check the archive.
>>321046206
OOH CAN WE DO A MORTAL KOMBAT ONE?
>>321046182
But anon, we already ended his life before
What's happening now is the fleshing out on old world before horsefucker brings an age of change
>>321046206
I vote for Dudes n Xenos 3
>>321046206
Do something based of a video game universe so the janitors don't get mad.
>>321046169
Yeah! Unlike most OP's this one doesn't smoke cock on a daily basis
What's your favourite adventure? Mine was Z Quest, although I've only been here since the beginning of Villain Adventure. But Z Quest was really fun and had lots of cool separate arcs (like when the four skeletons got separated), Dickass Satan as the final boss was also pretty great
>>321046369
I agree with this statement
>>321046206
Freedom Fighting Lizards!
>>321046069
shut the fuck up you faggot
barbarian > king
Just you fucking wait till we get to play Chad
>>321046206
chad & little peasant/royalty girl
>>321046369
>>321046421
I think these guys areskeletons.
P E A S A N T
S A T A N
>>321046369
well not like there's any other OPs anymore anyway
>>321046428
lmao this is what barbarians actually believe
>>321046403
Barbarian because the barbarian scum died
>>321046596
>Barbarian because the barbarian scum died
I'll be coming for you anon
>>321046596
My favorite'sKingslayer.Nah it's probably something after that, I'm still catching up.
>>321046638
>mfw barbarianfags still salty
>mfw barbarianfags will NEVER. EVER. get a knight harem
>>321046403
Dick ass thief adventure or metal wizard.
I miss totally human king
>>321046693
HATE KING
>>321046403
I think I liked the original Kingslayer adventures the most, recenlty went through that again and I gotta say this one made me laugh like a retard the most. I think this may be related to having the most bullshit powers and just parrying shit like unconsciousness like it's nothing.
Or villain adventure, mostly for the same reason.
>>321046710
>tfw you'll never team up with the King to fight the Totally human king
It's time
http://strawpoll.me/6335307
And jesus christ it's 2 years already, where did the time goooooooooUpdates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>321046883
TIME TO VOTEI hope you pick the right option.
>>321046883
wait a minute... that tree...
>>321046883
>http://strawpoll.me/6335307
SUPER ROBOT SEASON 3 LOCK IN MOTHERFUCKERS
>>321046778
>mfw barbarianfags will never ever kill me
>mfw I don't even die to a barbarian
>mfw my bloodline still survives while all the barbarians are dead
>>321046883
>>321046976
Oh fuck
>>321046883
Good job and thanks for everything broski
FUTURE BOXER
>>321046883
>go to your twitter to follow you
>already following you
>still miss most threads
suffering is real
>>321047020
too bad your son is gay
LIZARDSaren't probably gonna happen.
>>321047028
Such sweet memories
>>321047020
I will fucking murder you I swear to god
>>321047020
I fucking hate you.
If not you then we'll drink from your son's skull.
>>321047130
>>321047146
Only horsefucker can kill the king, get to waitin.
>>321046883It was certainly time well spend with you.
>>321047230
>time well spend
time to call the grammar nazi squad
>>321047090
>mfw barbarianfags think I only have one son
>mfw I got a whole army of princes, and that's just from the knight harem
>also a daughter in there somewhere
>>321047130
>>321047146
>mfw this is the prequel so I can't die
>mfw after I die I still make cameos
>>321047284
well you could die and be brought back to life again
or one of the princes could grow up to become king of dicks toofuck you faggot just die
>>321047284
>having own daughter on your own harem
madness
>>321047284
>>mfw I got a whole army of princes, and that's just from the knight harem
RIP AND TEAR THE ROYALTY
>>321047112
Does he actually fuck a horse in the story?
>>321047364
Oh yeah, in the first thread, when it was still text.
>>321047283
Whoops. I'm stupid.It is also 5 AM here. I need a fucking sleep.
>>321047220
No, my bloodlust needs to be quenched.
>>321047415
>need a sleep
anon we talked about this
>>321047446
Then go kill some fuckin elves, they bleed don't they?
>>321047496
I do not need weak puny elf blood. I NEED King blood
These threads bring joy to my day
Merry christmas faglets
>>321047342
>>321047360
>>321047362
>mfw filthy dumb barbarian scum will NEVER.EVER. succeed at anything
>>321047530
Good luck piercing his skin, we couldn't even do that as horsefucker.I thinkThis fucking Sartori streetsign is following me in the captcha.
Dick ass thief adventure was the first I read. I was going through a bad time and it cheered me up for weeks. I still read it to this day.
>>321047571
>if7barbarians will triumph
>>321047571
what if I roll 9 and kill king right now?
>>321046883
RIP Space Pirate 2
>>321047571
Just wait. I'll rig the game, I'll get 9's every post I make. I'll break you in half.
>>321047660
>>321047661
>>321047693
He fucking deleted the save for a bit, you can't just roll 9s.
>>321047748
The King WILL die by Barbarian hands.
>>321047770
Put some pants on barbarian.
>>321047763
WATCH ME
>>321047823
2mad4pants.
>>321047834
I'm waiting barbarian.
>>321047910
HATE
KING
>>321047770
>>321047834
>>321047904
>>321047937
>>321047962
lmao, see ya filthy dumb barbarian scum, I'll be taking my maid knights with me
>>321047997
9 FOR BARBARIAN BEATING THE KING
>>321047962
Where's the 9 barbarian?
>>321047834
No dude, you don't understand
He literally went to Op's house to fuck with the adventure as it went, and it's canon. Just muscles and 9s will do no good, you would need something to challenge his bullshittery on another level.
>>321048043
Yeah, like another king.
>>321047997
rolling 9 for stealing king's mustache
I WON'T GIVE UP
>>321048043
>you would need something to challenge his bullshittery on another level.Like another drawfag's intervention?
>>321048119
Well he got a nine, now what?
>>321048119
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA
BEHOLD
GET FUCKED KING I GOT YOUR 9 RIGHT THERE
>>321048024
lmao.
Also there was one female knight who had a crush on the barbarian. Oh yeah. Too bad he died.
>>321048092
Which is what Merc is, he's the King's brother
>>321048156
> now what?
Nothing, becasue barbarians sux
>>321048197
NOWTHE THREAD GETS ARCHIVED!
>>321047997
rolling 9 for C U C King the King by fucking his maid knight
>>321048212
oy dude, spoilers
>>321048212
>female knight
>he died
Wow king, didn't know you were a homo.
>>321048212
draw donald trump's face pls
>>321048265
>barbarians so dumb they don't realize the "he" here refers to the barbarian
>>321048212
>Also there was one female knight who had a crush on the barbarian. Oh yeah. Too bad he died.
>female knight
>he
d-did she have a feminine penis?
