What's the worst professional video game review you've ever read?
>>318138341
All those 9/10 & 10/10 for Fallout 3.
Last time those motherfuckers tricked me into buying crap.
gamespot giving tropical freeze a 6
>>318138420
Fallout 3 is great though. If you didn't get at least 100 hours out of it, there's something wrong with you.
Shouldn't all of those numbers even out to a 5 at the least?
>>318138420
Fallout 3 is fantastic. Fuck off. Tired of this meme.
>>318138574
>>318138673
>>318138574
>>318138673
This has to be bait
That review makes me physically angry.
>>318138646
Gameplay is the most important part, so it counts more.
>>318138341
DDN is garbage tho.
Way forward are shit-tier devs.
>>318138341
I saw the score and thought it was the God Hand review.
>>318139154
>DDN is garbage tho.
It's great
The one GI gave to Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door when it came out. Like a 5 or a 6 because "it's for kids." They admitted they lowered the score based on who they believed the target demographic was rather than the game's own merits. That's the first time I smelled that there was something rotten in the industry.
>>318138341
How the fuck do they get a 3 from that? Averaging the scores should have gotten at least a 5.
http://www.gamesradar.com/witcher-3-wild-hunt-review/opm/
The biggest factor that affects review scores is the amount of hype behind the game. If a lot of people are looking forward to the game thats being reviewed, they can't give it a low score even if it is shit, otherwise they'll get attacked by fanboys and then lose users, then money. If no one cares about the game then they can just not bother to properly play it and give it a whatever score.
>>318139481
>(Not an average)
They used to have that somewhere on there, but yeah, IGN uses the *NOT AN AVERAGE* bullshit
It's just arbitrary numbers
>>318138341
>professional video game review
You cannot read that which does not exist.
>>318138341
>arcades
>about intentionally having difficulty through clunky mechanics to scam kids
What?
The vast majority of arcade games people remember or care about were very easy to pick up, understand, and play, had near flawless controls, and were extremely fair despite their substantial level of challenge.
When a game is clunky and unfair, most people stop putting in quarters.
Fuck.
> gets invited to press event
> nothing in the review of the event talks about the game, the gameplay, how is it different than previous games
> entire review of the event was about how he hates he job, he thinks games is stupid... and fizzy drinks..
https://archive.is/j7x2t
This was so bad that even other gaming journalists were ripping him on other websites.
>>318139650
Gone home had lesbians, instant 5/5
>>318139695
This.
Super Mystery Dungeon doesn't even fucking have a Metacritic score yet, despite being one of the best installments of one of the best game series of all time. If not a GotY contender, it should have at least been considered for nomination.
But there's no hype there, so nobody reviews it. If a game is overhyped, it gets an automatic score to match the hype. If a game is underhyped, then no matter how good it is, it's not getting reviewed.
>>318139798
It's their professional.
Thus, they are professional reviews.
professional != quality
>>318139869
How come when Japanese games have lesbians they don't get 5/5's?
>>318139947
Because japanese lesbians are always anime moeshit and are thus cute
Western people don't like cute things
>>318138341
That kinda pisses me off, back at when I played the game with a bro, we'd juggle enemies to deat, using all the different moves. The game is not cluncky or unfair at all.
This sounds like it was written by some 17 years old, whose first gaming experience was the PS3.
There's no such thing as a professional video game review
>>318140075
I like cute things.
>>318139863
>block flash
People like you is the reason why flash dwindled in popularity and soon to be removed from most browsers next year.
>>318139947
Because jap devs aren't personal friends of gaming journalists so they don't get that special push onto the spotlight.Wished I was making this up too...
>>318140101
Yeah but you probably like japanese games too
Japanese games just get shit on over here and complained about cause of moeshit
>>318139863
Reminds me of this.
>>318138341
It gave the game a 5, if you read the whole review you could say it would at least give it a 7.
The same reviewer has given better grades to games which had more severe flaws pointed out in the review.
Why do game reviewers have such shit taste? The games they like always seem to be uncreative and done-before but functional. They like lowest common denominator games that are polished and serviceable but also completely uninspired and 'safe'.
>>318140151
I don't purposely block it.... I just don't use flash so I didn't install it.
>>318138341
DD Neon is atrocious though. Like HORRIBLE. It feels like a mid 2000's Newgrounds game, and not in a good way.
>>318139913
Yep, they do everything because of a profit incentive so we can't trust them.
>>318140205
Mostly clickbait
At IGN they love to give games to reviewers that don't even like the genre and then proceed to shit all over it
>>318140176
Sure, but I don't generally play "moeshit".
>>318138574
>>318138673
No it's not. It has almost no real strengths as a game, it's a bug-ridden mess with ho-hum gameplay and RPG elements, and filled to the brim with unlikeable and unrelatable characters. On top of all that they're really ugly.
There's a lot there... But none of it is particularly good or convincing. I mean if you want a ton of shit... FO3/NV have you covered, but if you prefer even a shred of quality you back away from the franchise.
>>318140205
>Why do game reviewers have such shit taste?
The problem is that all the legit reviewers either quit, left or was fired. And all that was left are sjw. SJW only hire other sjw.
They are trying to push a agenda instead of giving a legit review.
Explorers of Sky got a 60 on Metacritic.
>>318140205
>...Anonymous
>11/28/15(Sat)21:26:45 No.318140205
>Why do game reviewers have such shit taste? The games they like always seem to be uncreative and done-before but functional. They like lowest common denominator games that are polished and serviceable but also completely uninspired and 'safe'.
How come 'quirky indie shit' gets such such high praise.
>>318140351It's 54, anon.
>>318140407
We've all seen the bad reviews a million times.
/v/, what's the best pro review you've ever seen?
I gotta go with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tay4EknsXaY
>>318138487
Dong Freeze deserves a 6.
>>318140386
Because its popular and everyone who played it seemed to like it.
>>318140459
In a world where Fallout 4, Ass Creed and the like get 9 or 10, no
>>318140351
What?
How?
That game was packed to the brim with cool shit.
>>318140521
But it's a mediocre at best platformer that fails to improve on the huge flaws Returns itself had.
>>318140386
>How come 'quirky indie shit' gets such such high praise.
Because those quirkly indie shit was made by their friends. And their friends aren't talented enough to make anything decent.
Those journalists that are friends with shitty devs have to push their games somehow... so they started advertising it as "art" or some other bullshit. Hence all the high praises for shit.
Gamers called out on all the bullshit. SJW's methods for dealing with criticism has always been to just call others sexist or muh-soggy-knee. And gg happened.
Now all the media in the world is taking gamers as target practices for sexism and other lies.
>>318140205
Simple. Games journalists are too shit at analysis to be game designers, and too shit at journalism to be journalists. They exist in a weird midpoint of failure, where they're not good at anything.
>>318140403
>le porfessional faec
That Football Manager 09 IGN review
2.0
>>318140574
>But it's a mediocre at best
It is easily one of the best platformers ever made
>fails to improve
got rid of waggle and brought back Wise, which were literally the only things wrong with returns
>>318140151
and that's good
>>318140617
Thats true, most game reviews are just 90% summaries of the game that point out all the features and selling points. They almost never have any interesting criticisms to make.
>>318140552
"Too similar to the other games to be worth it"
The original Explorers only scored 6 points higher, though, and PMD scored about the same as those. So reviewers just really fucking hate Mystery Dungeon. Which makes sense, because they're deep, rewarding, difficult, and actual fucking games without too much pomp or circumstance - outside of the strangely sad stories.
But no, let's give Fallout 3 GOTY.
>>318140703
It's only the best platformer ever made if it's the only platformer you ever played.
And it still has the bad level design, terrible control, and poor gameplay elements that Returns did.
>>318138341
Dark souls 1 review from ign
They have factually incorrect stuff in there
Paraphrasing here
>it is possible to lose all your best gear in the middle of the game during boss ght (top lel BTW, she talking about the gaping dragon)
I think the idiot reviewer bought a bunch of crystal items all of which can't be prepared when they lose their durability
And then she stood in the vomit in the dragon and then she erroneously thought every weapon does that
>>318140574
>it's a mediocre at best platformer
What? I think it's pretty generic, but in terms of quality it's way up there.
>fails to improve on the huge flaws Returns itself had
I can't think of a single thing Tropical Freeze didn't significantly improve from Returns.
It deserves at least an 8/10.
http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2014-02-18-earth-defense-force-2025-review
Absolutely shameful. Every other sentence is a poor attempt at humor. Hardly tells anything about the game. It's like she wrote this article just to riff on the game she was prepared to hate.
>>318140454
/v/, seriously.
You have to have seen at least one or two good reviews over the years.
>>318138673
>>318138574
just imagine, in a few years people will look back and say "fallout 4 was a great game"
>>318141212
It's more fun to laugh at how shitty reviewers can be.
When it's about someone doing their job well, as they are expected, there is not much to say.
>>318141303
It will be a great game in a few years and a fuckton of mods
>>318140185
Pitchfork has always been a pretentious shithole.
>>318139481
Can't really average them. AAA games have so much money in them, that they're very unlikely to have low scores for presentation, graphics, or sound. This means even if they're terrible games that get 5s in gameplay and lasting appeal, they'd still average out to a 9 simply because they look and sound good.
>>318138341
>professional
>video game reviewer
pick one
>>318141303
I stopped playing Fallout 3 after literally 30 minutes.
I came across 5 bugs in that time, like people getting stuck in walls.
If I encountered 5 bugs of that level in 30 minutes of gameplay, I though the rest would be infested, because, you know, the first minutes of the game are supposed to be the most tested
There's also the fact that Trails in the Sky SC's review score is substantially worse than FC's becausemost of the people reviewing it didn't play FC and thus completely missed out on the first half of the story. A few of them at least had the courtesy to state that but what's even the fucking point of reviewing it at all then.
>>318138341
Almost all of ME2 and 3's. Oh, and DA2.
pitchfork-tier writing desu senpai
http://www.ign.com/articles/2006/10/10/god-hand-review
>>318141389
But finding shit reviews is trivial.
You just type in "[even slightly niche game you enjoy] review", and you're done.
It's much harder to find a competent review.
>>318139650
Pretty sure this was a case of the first lot being tied to the devs and the rest just following the bandwagon.
>Tfw you love Fallout 3 and 4 and think they should be GOTY every year.
Is this professional
>>318140927
Speaking of which, how well is PSMD doing in reviews? I imagine it's getting higher scores since "roguelike" is a popular meme game genre right now.
>>318140953
>And it still has the bad level design, terrible control, and poor gameplay elements that Returns did.
fuck off IGN
every level can be completed at max speed, every enemy can be jumped off of in chronological succession, leading to massive shortcuts and skips, the two partners are optional, the game can be completed alone, the level setpieces are fucking incredible, the difficulty curve is consistent and never too frustrating since none of the deaths are cheap, the game's inertia and motion is constant but you can still stop on a dime if you really need to
>poor gameplay elements
so you just don't like platformers. Go ahead, name your favorite.
>>318138341
Game Informer did a review on V.I.P. in 2000 or so. It seriously got a 0.5/10
>>318140249
Nope, it's fucking amazing. You, my friend, are bang wrong.
>>318141717
Fuck
Every time
>>318141502
They could averagee it with different weights and make public the formula to know if they are shitting on you.
Like 20% presentation, 20% graphics, 20% Sound and 40% gameplay (for example, didn't really thought those weights).
If not, you get things like >>318140187, that tell the game "is honestly pretty good and has good presentation and well-thought gameplay" but ends giving it a 5 because "it's not for everybody" (as if every game should be) and the reviewer felt like it.
>>318141740
It's doing alright in the few reviews it's getting, but it barely has any reviews at all which is sad when even Amiibo Festival has some.
If it actually got one more it would probably be the best-reviewed in the subfranchise, so there's that.
>>318141845
What, is this actually a great game or something?
>>318141761
Donkey Kong Country 2.
The Wii U isn't even lacking in platformers or side-scrollers. I got to the special world in NSMBU. But I can barely find the motivation to get beyond world 3 in Dong Freeze.
>>318141303
Hopefully in a few years, people will look back on Fallout 4 as a necessary evil for Obsidian's version to exist.
>>318142032
No, it's literally QTEs: The Game like Ryse.
>>318141717
god, that one paragraph
>the devs say this game has a lot of choice
>but that's not really that impressive these days
>but there's too much choice and it makes me anxious
>so i have no freedom at all
yeah perfect logic train there qed bitches freedom is slavery ionesco was right heil hitler
>>318141864
>but ends giving it a 5 because "it's not for everybody"
Goddamn, I hate these recurring lines these incompetent reviewers give.
Another in a similar vein that pisses me off is "fans of the genre will enjoy this game". It's just such a vacuous statement.
I subscribed to EGM as a kid/teenager. I remember them giving Mortal Kombat Advance and Ping Pals for the DS a 0/10.
I also remember Flintstone's Bedrock Bowling getting a 0.5.
Never played either, but they do look terrible.
Seriously, you can laugh all you want about Europe but at least our game reviewers are not THAT shitty, sure most of them do advertising but at least they try to hide it under some real reviews
>>318140403
>>318138341
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmA-lVrZmx0
The best part is that, after having almost nothing good of the game, he still gave it a 7/10.
At least he pronounces Lagiacrus right.
>professional reviews
Anyone have the Ys: The Oath in Felghana one?
>>318140351
Reviewers hate Roguelikes. Except when it comes in lite.
>>318142454
>muh country wars
no one cares you nerd.
>>318142424
It's the good-for-all phrase. You review a game, it turns out it's good objectively (not very good or astounding), but you didn't like it and don't feel well giving a fair score, so you slap a "it may be not for everybody" and that gives you a free pass to take some points from its final score.
>>318141489
>>318142665
Roguelikes nowadays are not Rogue like at all. The most Rogue like in last years was crypt of the necrodancer (and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon)
Roguelike now is used as "procedural dungeon crawling and if you die you start from anew losing your items"
>>318141748
>>318141631
Air ride is good.
>>318142291
It's a game I don't expect everyone to like, a bad review doesn't bother me. But some of these points are just odd. Even in negative reviews I don't think I've ever seen somebody call it un-stylish or lacking personality.
Or the fact that they managed to fail the first quest despite the fact that it's literally just talking to a few people, and then judged an entier 70+ hour, 36 day game based on that first day.
And I wouldn't expect a reviewer to know this, but I found it humerus that they said it looks like it was built from the engine's stock assets when the engine was made by the developers for this game.
>>318142891
Which is why u said lite. They hate true Roguelikes. They view them as too annoying to review so they always get low scores. However things like Rogue Legacy has that gold system so you are always progressing so to them it's a much better system.
>>318141748
I was coming to post this one. Fuck IGN for this.
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/im-an-asshole-because-god-hand-sucks.128928526/
>>318138341
>>318141502
Isn't this what already happens, though?
>>318139650
I get gone homo, but that shit does deserve 3/5. It's just weebshit. Zero Escape is way better.
>>318140151
No, Adobe is the reason why flash is dwindled in popularity.
It started making it easier on CPU but then decided to stop mid way and then load CPU back to fucking 120%.
Adobe is evil you should be cursing not the users who don't want to have 40% CPU usage on a web fucking page.
>>318140205
They want to be "in the industry" more than they actually care about videogames. This isn't just a recent phenomenon either.
>>318140151
and this is a problem how?
>>318143296
>excellent combat and character progression
>7.5
>Up close weapons are awkward
>9.5
>>318139154
everything you said is factually wrong
My favorite is how everyone's review of Fallout 4 had at least a paragraph on bugs, glitches, or crashes they had and the best anyone can say is "it's the least buggiest Bethesda game!" Thinking somehow we should give them a fucking medal.
>>318140151
flash is a massive security hazard, and if you don't keep a whitelist you're retarded
>>318142895
>a bit immature for the games content
was the UI made of fucking fetuses or something?
>>318143401
>but that shit does deserve 3/5. It's just weebshit.
If you have to call something weebshit just to justify low scores, you're no better than gaming journalists in your reviews.
>>318143497
>Every time you see a review that ends with a derivative of the line "If this is the sort of thing you like, then you'll like this," etc.
Oh hey, I was just complaining about this garbage.
>>318142424
Anyone got the "off the beaten track" pic from that Ys Oath in Felghana review?
Requesting the one of that journalist who played the game on Easy and complained it was too short when it's designed to end early if you play it on easy
>>318138341
Can we stop pretending beat em ups are anything more than novel experiences?
The problem with these games, is that they tend to be too difficult in relation to how repetitive the gameplay is.
Once you get your first gameover, you lose all motivation to play again, because of how repetitive and game is.
That's why Turtles in Time was so great. Because it was never too difficult. So you get to enjoy the novel experience of playing as the Ninja Turtles. Without worrying too much about a gameover.
Are people still assblasted about the 8.8 teilight princess review by gerstman?
That was such a strange thing to witness. The game hadn't even come out yet, yet people were saying the score was too low. 8.8 isn't even a bad score. It's a pretty fucking great score for what ended up being an alright zelda game.
Killscreen's review of the new Tomb Raider was so bad that the game director went on their site and called them out.
>>318141748
But anon, Godhand is literally shit
>>318141845
Does anyone remember why Pam anderson was popular again? In retrospect she's a an old, generic looking bimbo with no remarkable features.
>>318143958
>>318143205
>The guy who reviewed it came out and admit he didn't even get past the first level
>It was literally a case of the game being too hard for him because he was complete shit at it
>That thread you posted where he tries to justify it as IT'S MY OPINION! EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT IT WAS SHIT
>The only other person who played it said he liked it a lot
>IGN reneges and puts God Hand on their 100 Best PS2 Games list
>The inclusion on the list is still a backhanded insult filled with shit like "It's easy to mistake God Hand as a horrible game"
That guy is a complete shit eater.
>>318144164
That's the argument of losers who refuse to get better. And it's not only true for beat em ups. losers who give up too easily make that same excuse for any game.
Git gud.
>>318144298
people do realise that gone home got such high scores for being essentially a revolutionary tite in expanding "gaming" as a storytelling medium. Its a "citizen kane" title.
I don't like citizen kane. Im not a fan of Gone Home but the sheer ignorance on its impact on gaming is a bit unbelievable. Most seem to hate it simply because its a "sjw" game.
Objectively good or admirable games that get shitty reviews for asinine reasons ("it looked like shit", "it was too hard", "it wasn't enough like the first one", "it was too much like the first one", "it's not my kind of game", "it's for children"...).
Paper Mario: Sticker Star getting great reviews even though the gameplay and story are objectively inferior to every previous game's (not that it makes the game terrible, but several magazines and sites gave it a better score than PM1 and PM2).
And any review that badly rates a game because it's "too hard" is toxic. Bonus shitpoints if everyone who's played the game and isn't a reviewer disagrees.
>>318143296
Seems about right to me. DD was fun (and had the GOATest opening song ever), but it is not nearly as good as Skyrim.
>>318144395
What was it's impact.
>>318144298
>after dinging it a point for grammar
I still don't understand this statement.
Does he pronounce FAQ as "fack"?
>>318143325
For other reasons, I suppose. Money spent on development can usually guarantee at least some level of quality. It's hard to give a huge budget game less than like an 8, simply because they're specifically designed to hit that watermark. They have people whose jobs are to make sure the game is received well, and they'll either change or strip out things as needed to make that happen.
The other thing is that the reviewer's publication has to make money, and even if you throw out the fact they really don't want to anger the publishers they've built their entire business around, they also can't anger their readers. If they slap a 6 on a big-budget mediocre game that's liked by millions, that's a lot of potential advertising dollars lost in the future from reader backlash. They can give whatever the fuck they want to more niche games though.
>>318144395
>Most seem to hate it simply because its a "sjw" game.
/v/ being reactionary about a game because they don't agree with its pilitics? No way!
>>318141717
>the depth of the game's systems to me sounded like a Bethesda game. I found that very appealing.
>>318144395
> people do realise that gone home got such high scores for being essentially a revolutionary tite in expanding "gaming" as a storytelling medium. Its a "citizen kane" title.
Hells nah. Only delusional sjws will believe that shit.
It got a good score because >>318140164
>>318144395
What techniques did Gone Home do that revolutionized the industry? Walking simulators had existed before all over the place in the indie scene and even in the mainstream with titles like Dear Esther and The Stanley Parable. The Stanley Parable came out a full two years between Gone Home.
Gone Home did nothing revolutionary and the only thing anyone talks about when reviewing the game is how touching the story is because it had lesbians.
>>318143807
Yes using the Loss Engine.
>>318144395
What impact? Literally nothing about video games has changed as a result of Gone Home being made.
Blistered Thumbs giving Wonderful 101 a 3/10 despite not listing the negatives
Anyone have screens of Dragon Age 2 getting 9s and 10s from everyone?
>>318144572
It had lesbians and upper middle class white girl problems so it's a solid GOTY contender right there
>>318144395
Dear Esther did all that though and wasn't as highly thought of.
Add in Lesbians and it's suddenly a 10/10.
>>318144347
I've beaten enough difficult games to know that I can rise to the occasion when I want to. I just don't want to for these beat em ups. Because there is no meat in the experience.
>>318144450
>"it's not my kind of game"
Every shmup review ever.
Original Shantae review in Game Informer.
It boiled down to "This is a Gameboy Color game. Gameboy Advance games are out now so therefore it's shit."
>>318140151
Flash is only good for Homestar Runner
>>318144259
Massive tits and bikinis on primetime television
>>318144696
> I just don't want to for these beat em ups.
You sound like a loser making excuses.
>>318143205
>some retard in the thread saying that anything under a 6.5 should be unplayable
motherfucker do you understand how scores work
>>318140151
Flash is a fucking liability at this stage
>>318140151
how is that a bad thing?
>>318144867
scores are overrated, especially gaming journalists scores. You're a fool for even caring about how gaming journalists scores work these days.
>>318144259
>was
>old
Have you heard of the concept of time, anon?
>>318144847
I don't hear you defending their repetitive nature.
>>318144458
skyrim was a fucking turd
>>318144753
sounds like a fair review to me
more games should get shit on for not being GBA games
>>318144395
Except it does nothing that hasn't been done by better games before it. It's not a bad title, although it was pretty overpriced at release for what it was. If it had stayed an Amnesia mod released as a way to generate interest in the devs' future projects instead of a $20 game, I think general reception would have been a lot better.
I would say Her Story has a much stronger claim to having unique storytelling reliant upon gameplay, and it was often criticized by even people who loved Gone Home simply because the story didn't go in the direction they thought it was going to before they started the game. These people just wanted feels that resonated with them in a form they could blow through in 2 hours, not to actually analyze games as a medium.
>>318144965
nigga, every game out there has a repetitive nature.
>>318143084
I actually bothered playing Rogue Legacy today since it was on sale
Does it upgrade system get any better? A lot of the shit is passive or just unlocks things
>>318144717
Well shmups are a pretty niche genre.
I actually think "it's not my kind of game" is a pretty valid reason to not give a game a great review. As long as they at least try to give it a fair shake and be informative in the review, and don't just dismiss/shit on the game outright because of its genre, I don't have a problem with it. At the end of the day a review is an opinion, and you can't expect someone to have a high opinion of a game in a genre they don't like.
But it should also be the responsibility of the site/publication to ensure that someone who dislikes shmups isn't reviewing a shmup, because that probably won't be useful for most people.
>>318144985
By that argument, DD is the worst game ever. Other than Into Free and Gregory, DD did nothing better than Skyrim.
>>318143296
See, this shit right here is why I don't trust modern vidya reviewers for a second.
DD easily has better combat than most other WRPGs and it's not even funny.
I'm sure there are lots of other reviews that I can name, but honestly? Any modern review for a Japanese action game, survival horror, an arcadey-style game? I don't trust for a minute.
>>318145112
>But it should also be the responsibility of the site/publication to ensure that someone who dislikes shmups isn't reviewing a shmup, because that probably won't be useful for most people.
That's exactly it, though.
If you see that line or similar in a review, it means the person knows fuck all about the genre and will be spewing uninformed opinions and generally have nothing of worth to say.
>>318145063
Not really. The game can be pretty fun, but the upgrade system is literally only there to provide an arbitrary sense of progression so people keep playing. It's a pretty shit mechanic designed to artificially increase the game's longevity.
The class upgrades do add worthwhile things in some cases though, and some of the equipment has entertaining effects beyond "does more damage."
>>318145134
DD had actually interesting combat and some semblance of difficulty, skyrim was a theme park.
Well I went to look up reviews of my favorite game of all time and the average review has it in low 90's/high 80's which is about right. There is a 70 on it, which I think is a little low, but understandable, and then there is this "Core Magazine" which gave it a 50, so clearly they are fucked.
>>318138341
Recent memory is that IGN fucktard who gave Alien Isolation 5/10 because he sucked at the game.
>>318144334
Even his own coworker, who seemed to enjoy the game (why the fuck didn't he review it?) called him out on the bullshit in his post.
>"Everyone in the office says it sucks!"
>"Who else in the office has played it except you and me?"
>"Well, uh..."
>>318145010
underrated post
>>318144232
God, I just read that. Just how up your own ass do you have to be to read that much bullshit into Triple A writing?
>>318145284
And it seems like having at least one of each of the airdash and double jump runes is a must, the rest seems really grindy
It's kind of bullshit that the enemies can go suddenly pop out of walls without warning too, not the zeds but those wisp things got me unexpectedly in the forest
>>318145134
lol
>>318145279
Eh, it varies from review to review I think. Somebody who actively dislikes a genre should never be reviewing a game in that genre, but I don't think you need to be a big fan of a genre to provide a decently informative review.
Someone who is inexperienced at shmups for example might not be able to talk about things like the scoring system or how it compares to other well-liked shmups, but they can still give a decent overview of the game and their experience with it from the perspective of someone that isn't super familiar with the genre, which could be useful for some people. And maybe they do wind up deciding that it's not their kind of game, but that's not necessarily the worst thing in the world. On the flipside someone who's a big fan of the genre might be able to provide a more in-depth analysis of certain mechanics, but their opinion might not be that useful to a lay audience that's just casually interested in the game.
Sites shouldn't let people who actively dislike/dismiss a genre review a game in it simply because their bias makes the review useless - "I don't like shmups, this is a shmup, 3/10" doesn't help anyone - but someone who is just inexperienced and goes into the game without much of a bias one way or the other can be useful.
>>318146006
That's something about reviews most people still haven't internalized. Most perspectives are valuable to at least someone out there, we just need to stop approaching reviews like they are some objective measurement of a game's merits.
A biased review can open up a perfectly valid perspective on a game, the reviewer just needs to be aware of his bias and disclose it beforehand.
>>318144753
Does anyone else put their arms behind their back like that when they're chillin?
>>318138574
>>318138673
reddit detected
>>318146514
>(ugh)
That one Tropico 5 review that gave it a 5/10 because "the game made me feel like a dictator"
>>318146514
seems like a fair review
what to hell are you supposed to write, it's a fapbait game for weebs
>>318138487
Because it was "too hard" right?
IIRC they gave ZombiU a shit score for the same reasoneven though that game did have problems most of the review was just bitching about the difficulty
>>318138420
Fuck off, Fallout 3 was great.
>>318144259
Pam Anderson's Tits were like what Kim Kardashian's ass is today.
>>318146704
(You)
>>318146690
Not showing utter contempt for your audience seems like a start.
Maybe they could even consider talking about the gameplay.
>>318146514
Do we have a name for the editor who wrote this? Was this found in an upcoming releases section?
>>318144298
Sometimes people don't check all beaten off paths and sometimes people aren't hyper aware teenagers who explore every nook and cranny. That does seem cheap as hell anon if one mandatory chest in a cave that you can easily miss halts your progress is pretty shitty, even for an RPG.
>>318144259
She was on baywatch which was popular in the 90's.
She became popular, then got a tit-job and became a giant whore over time. She didn't look at her career from a long-term perspective and opted to soak in as much attention as she could in a few short years. Now she's irrelevant and looks like a dimestore hooker.
Polygon gave Tropico 5 a 6.5/10 because the reviewer chose to play the game like an asshole dictator and felt bad about it.
https://archive.is/A8Am7
>>318146573
No, because I'm not a girl.
>>318146765
>they could even consider talking about the gameplay
doesn't the "gameplay" only exist to make the boobs jiggle and strip the girls?
>>318144232
Jesus you weren't kidding.
This is the start of the review, and somehow it just gets worse.
Not a single paragraph that is not the Psych 101 musings of the author.
>>318147101
>tutorial says to find things
>don't find things
I can understand why they wouldn't search for it (they need to finish games quickly so they can't go out of their way looking for every treasure) but saying it's anyone's fault bit their own is retarded.
>>318147135
>muh colonialism
>muh evil jokes triggering me
What the fuck
>>318139863
>Video Games are stupid
THEN WHY WRITE ABOUT THEM?
>>318147101
Anon, look at the image.
There is a tutorial pop up explaining that there are rubies that will power up your attacks earlier in the level, and you can clearly see that chest from the 'beaten path'.
Also, the boss in question isn't all that hard even without the ruby, unless you're playing on a higher difficulty like you know this reviewer wasn't. He might have even gone with easy mode.
>>318146765
sorry but the gameplay in the first game was shit
>>318142212
>wanting another broken mess of a game
Why do people torture themselves like this?
>>318147135
>What could have been a poignant, perhaps even hilarious commentary on the nature of narrow-minded dictators merely served to enforce the game's backward world view.
>Tropico 5 succeeded in making me feel powerful, and it enabled me to create a world in my image. But the game so entirely lacks compassion that it made me feel like a bully. There's an undeniable tension between the player, in the role of The Dictator, and the citizens. Tropico 5 fails to reconcile that conflict in a mature way, missing its shot at changing the series from a thoughtless getaway to a memorable, meaningful trip.
Woooooooooowwww this game about being a cruel dictator made me feel like a cruel dictator!6.5/10 is absolutely a fair score for Tropico 5, but the reasoning is absolute ass.
>>318147101
Did you even look at where "the beaten path" is on the image?
The chest is literally on the screen as you go by, and you have to walk past it just to get to the end of the dungeon. Most likely multiple times. And getting up there is a matter of going to the left a bit and jumping on a clearly visible ledge which you ALSO have to walk past to get to the end of the dungeon. To miss it you pretty much have to intentionally avoid it, or not be looking at the screen.
There's a difference between getting stuck because the game required some obtuse hidden item and getting stuck because you're a moron who skipped obvious stuff in an RPG.
>>318140692
Kek, the UK site gave it 9.1 as well
>>318140151
Good, Flash is awful now
>>318147284
The gameplay in Sengoku Rance exists to rape nearly all girls that exist somewhere in the area, and it's better than the entire rest of the game. Gameplay is worth reviewing even if it's supposed to serve porn.
But what's more important is that a reviewer is supposed to enter the review neutrally. If you're already biased against the game before you start, then it's time to hand the task to someone else.
>>318138574
>>318138673
>>318146704
>>318146693
I never saw any reviews for ZombieU but all the stores here were pushing it as a reason to buy a WiiU
>>318147480
Just the first game, hmm?
So then this coverage of the second game should have had something to say about how the gameplay was actually half decent instead of shit, right?
So why then are they doing nothing but whining about virtual titties, and saying "I COULD talk about the gameplay, BUT MUH SEXISM"
>>318138341
Alien Isolation review by IGN.
>"And the main menu actually recommends you to play on Hard-difficulty. Here's a protip: DON'T DO THAT. Minimize the Alien's keen senses and it'll minimize your pain."
You have no idea how much I laughed. Review's playing was also fucking terrible to watch.
>>318147548
Assuming it's like the previous games (since they all look alike), you don't even have to be a cruel dictator. It's a perfectly viable to be benevolent and strive to make your citizens happy.
>>318147452
Because they're under the mistaken belief that because they failed as reviewers for what they consider to be more "artistic" mediums, they get to sit in vidya reviewing and bitch about how vidya sucks.
This happens far too often. Failed directors, writers, and critics all end up going to vidya because there's tons of cash to be had, because they don't realize that the medium is actually more respectable.
The industry is much larger than music and movies and books. It should be staffed with higher quality individuals, but it's a new industry, so there's a lack of "respect" in the way the industry is seen by faggots who have 0 idea what the industry is.
This is why you have a flood of faggots who hate video games but exist in the video game sphere as professionals.
People constantly talk about ways to make video games a "more serious medium". The only thing we need to do is to purge fucks like that. It's literally that simple.
>>318147713
But that was supposed to be a preview
You can't review something that is in development unless you're some kind of game tester
>>318147435
>>318147475
Yes I saw that but it doesn't specifically mention that said ruby is in the dungeon you are in, off of the beaten path, in an invisible chest.
I myself wouldn't miss it since I do explore all shit in RPGs but I don't expect ONE ITEM in ONE CAVE to HALF THE PROGRESS of the ENTIRE GAME until I FIND IT. No excuse for that.
>>318147583
No entire layout of the cave / dungeon is provided at all, so have you looked at the map? Show me the entire map and not some cherry picked image.
All reviews are advertisements, some paid some not.
Why would you ever trust them?
>>318147943
>but it doesn't specifically mention that said ruby is in the dungeon you are in
Anyone with common sense would understand that it does in fact mean that it's either ahead or behind you meaning if you get to the boss without it you missed it.
>>318142895
>a bit immature for the game's content
>>318147943
>An item in a dungeon shouldn't be required to beat the boss of that dungeon
Seriously?
>>318138420
>le fallout 3 is bad meme
Fucking kill yourself or go enjoy COD since its probably more your speed
>>318147943
>I don't expect ONE ITEM in ONE CAVE to HALF THE PROGRESS of the ENTIRE GAME until I FIND IT
At that point in the game, it's the only area besides town you can really go. It's practically a tutorial area, and the boss in question is the first major boss in the game.
Also, you're seriously underestimating just how linear Ys is. It's really not possible to miss much of anything if you make even the barest minimum of an effort to collect shit that you see.
And again, the boss isn't even that hard. It's not something that blocks progression, just makes progression more difficult.
>>318148214
He is saying it doesn't deserve a near perfect score, implying the game itself is far from perfect.
If you don't consider playing a game because it wasn't anointed by a "9/10 - it's okay" coming from your favorite journablogger, you might want to contemplate suicide.
I remember stopping reading reviews and news about games because i was seriously hyped for FFXIII and it turned out to be shit.
>>318138341
IGN's review of Alien Isolation is pretty cringe he gave it a 5.9/10 and complained about being to hard like a little bitch
>>318140574
>mediocre at best
Yeah, no.
>>318147434
Does he ever talk about the gameplay?
>>318148586
Yeah, that review infuriated me.
The game is at least a 7 out of 10.
I'd give it an 8 for personal preference though, I really enjoyed it.
>>318148461
Same for me with KH2, also I noticed a 'pattern' of sorts where reviewers rarely know what they're talking about and/or they're seriously biased towards Western games.
>>318138574
>>318138673
Go away Todd.
>>318146616
Surely you jest. This game is truly horrid.
>>318148691
Same, The thing that annoyed me the most was him complaining about the difficulty because games now a days are so easy when a hard game comes around IGN's brain can't handle a game that requires you to think.
>>318148586
IGN legitimately hates SEGA
The show X-Play that used to appear on G4 once did a review for Beatmania, a Japanese rhythm game. They proceeded to knock on it for being a "Guitar Hero ripoff".
I was so surprised that a large media outlet would be so oblivious, I never saw that stupid program again. Lost all credibility.
>>318149104
SEGA is its own enemy and probably doesn't care about American market as long as they buy Sonic and Japs don't live arcade cabinets.
>>318148064
>it's just common sense to explore 100% of every cave when a tutorial popup appears hurr durr
fuck off retard
>>318148131
In an RPG it shouldn't be like that. If there's some kind of build up to it in the village before where people mention there's an evil in a cave or an old woman says that "evil must be purged with flame" or SOMETHING like that then I'd be fine with it.
But when a tutorial comes up about how to charge up flames and you go "ok cool" and then find a boss that rapes you 100x times a row because you missed an item the game made no fucking mention off except a TUTORIAL about charged up attacks, that's shitty design.
>>318148329
>it's at the start of the game so he's just a FUCKING SCRUB R3KT #dARKsOUZpr0s
No but seriously, that is bad game design. I wounldn't judge the entire game based off of that like the reviewer did but shit like that is cheap. Game developers should put more effort in their games than
TUTORIAL POPUP BOSS, READ THIS
and instead of shit like that, entwine the guides into actual gameplay and in the dialog of the characters and not some fucking annoying POPUP ADD that tells you about a ruby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FpigqfcvlM
>>318149158
SEGA is an entirely new company since 05
The last bastion of bad SEGA was fired in 2014. They were the American Skeleton crew left on after their localization crew was fired in 2012. They were dead men walking and in that time produced A:CM and Sonic Boom. Those people are gone. Besides that, what bad shit has SEGA made in the last 5 years? Rome 2, which they fixed? One bad game in 5 years? After giving us Binary Domain and Yakuza 4 and Miku games and Generations and SASART and producing Vanquish and Bayo?
>>318148649
The entire review is literally this.
>Extreme and pretentious character overanalysis of Lara Croft
>68/100
No wonder dev got pissed, this is just insulting.
>>318149205
Go play the game and see how retard he is.
>>318149415
Well, they are not releasing any Yakuza games in the West.
>>318138673
>>318148214
I think its pretty interesting how you just accuse me of >meming when I was just answering the question of OP.
Fallout 3 got several GOTY stuff + 9/10 and 10/10 reviews and when I played the game it felt like Ive been lied to.
I played the game for a few hours as a 'bad' character and suddenly some guys come up "punishing me for all the evil that I do", fair enough.
Got bored, started a new character suddenly some fuckers come and "punish me for all the good I do"? Wtf is this shit.
Consequences dont matter, hell it bothered no one I destroyed Megaton(?) which was stupid city to begin with. I first quit the game after the city with all the children and being shipped to the enclave.
I played it a few months later again from that save point because I thought "hey maybe the game gets better": NOPE.
Mediocre game getting perfect/near perfect scores -> bullshit.
>>318147434
>Psychoanalysis is rarely ever portrayed in video games
WHAT?
What a fucking hack. Has he not played any psychological thriller in the past 20 years?
>>318149810
>New CEO that said that he wants to localize more games and put more games on the PC started this summer
>Yakuza 5 is coming out in the next couple weeks
What was that again?
>>318149205
I will agree that tutorials could be integrated better but they just didn't take the time to do that for something simple like "how to use a fireball."
Setting that aside, all you've done is repeatedly say "bad design" with no justification when you haven't even looked at the game. Explain how it is not the player's fault when
>A - the chest is clearly onscreen during the normal course of play
>B - you need to walk past said chest in order to reach the boss
>C - the path up to said chest is also clearly visible during the normal course of play and you have to fight some enemies right in front of it
>D - the boss is still entirely beatable without getting that chest as long as you can consistently dodge two extremely predictable attacks
The only way it could be more clear is if there was some NPC blocking the way forward like Mido in Ocarina of Time until you get the ruby. Which would be incredibly stupid.
Ys actually does have things in it that are badly-designed in my opinion, but this is definitely not one of those things. Skipping content that is clearly signposted and then complaining that doing so made the game more difficult is not "bad design," that's the reviewer being a retard.
>>318149205
>No but seriously, that is bad game design
I'm just not seeing it.
I had no trouble with it. No one I know had trouble with it. No one I've ever seen in any of these threads when that image is posted has said they had trouble with it.
This reviewer is literally the only person I've ever heard of that struggled with this.
>entwine the guides into actual gameplay and in the dialog of the characters and not some fucking annoying POPUP ADD that tells you about a ruby
I'm not a big fan of that either.
I think it would be fine if it just weren't there and nothing else was different about the game.
Again, I think you seriously underestimate how linear the game is. The chest is nigh impossible to miss, regardless whether there's a tutorial popup or not.
The popup just makes it especially inexcusable to be that incompetent, is all.
>>318142208
Might just be personal taste for you mate. DKC2 is one of my favourite games ever but I still enjoyed Tropical Freeze immensley and thought it was consistently brilliant
>>318144395
>a revolutionary tite in expanding "gaming" as a storytelling medium
Could you be any more fucking stupid?
>>318149668
>just go play the game retard, YOU DON'T KNOW
>>318149964
>just go play the game retard, YOU DON'T KNOW
>>318149975
>just go play the game retard, YOU DON'T KNOW
k
I thought we were discussing the game here and the review. You know? A review that's supposed to tell me if the game is any good. Judging from how cheap it can be, I wouldn't expect it to be any good.
I wasn't planning on playing the game at all, but if I had to go on this review alone (which I think is fair in it's assessment) with no knowledge of the game...... I simply wouldn't.
Why would I? I'm not going to invest in a game just because 3 anons tell me to. I also have experience of a few Ys games, and they are all pretty damn rubbish unless you like repetitive grind button mashing with RPG elements, steep as hell difficulty and stupidly retarded stories that don't even bother trying to draw you in.
But that's just me.Ys is shit, deal with it.
>>318149205
>>it's just common sense to explore 100% of every cave when a tutorial popup appears hurr durr
>fuck off retard
Nah, it's common sense to explore the cave when the game tells you you'll need an item. Go back to your corridor simulators where you get everything you need in a cutscene, real games are apparently too difficult for you.
