Adventure Thing, part 8
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Oh shit nigger, you're a Barbarian.
You and your party fell down into some noble's dungeon of 100 trials while you were trying to find a kidnapped party member.
You're standing before the door to the 100th trial. What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
puch yo self in the face
puch my self in the face
Contemplate the meaning of the trials
>>317328826
knock politely
>>317328826
Punch self in face
>>317328826
The door is a metaphor
>>317329012
Every fucking thread with this guy!
>>317328969
"Who's there?"
>>317329106
DOOM
>>317329106
"you know the drill, jerk"
>>317329106
Punch self in face
>>317329129
"DOOM who?"
>>317329106
MR LISTER THE FISTER TRANSISTOR
>>317329175
punch self in face
>>317329175
Doom Vic Von
>>317329175
puch yo self in the face
>>317329175
MADVILLAIN
>>317329175
Guy Doom
>>317329175
OP dares to continue to go against tradition.
>>317329259
YOu punched yourself in the face
>>317329175
Yours, now who is this?
>>317329419
h*ck yeah
>>317329419
KICK IN DOOR
>>317329419
piss on the door
>>317329419
Punch in door
>>317329419
Now that we're fired up, resume knocking on door
>>317329419
He did it, the absolute madman!
>>317329419
Phew that wad close....
Almost had a heart attack
Now grab the man behind the door through dry wall.
>>317329465
>*
what does this mean
>>317329615
Knock on the door
with your fire fist this time
>>317329615
Ask who the door is
>>317329615
Knock on door very aggressively
>>317329615
it means FUCK YOU
RIP DOOR OFF HINGES
>>317329615
Knock on door with your ice fist this time
>>317329465
>h*ck yeah
what the fuck
>>317329697
"Aw c'mon, we just had that replaced"
Eat the sign, no one outwits me!
This seems lame already
>>317329879
HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!
>>317329879
REPLACE THIS
rip his jaw off
>>317329905
Pike in the face
>>317329905
"So your name's Johnny?"
>>317330034
JOHNNY DOOM, NICE TO MEET YOU!
Get in the Knights face and blow on him really hard
>>317330034
that's my dick's name
>>317330034
Jonny Doom Atrausticis, yes
>>317330034
i have aspergers
>>317330093
"Nice to meet you too. I'm Generic Knight No.134"
>>317330312
Move in for a kiss
>>317330034
Johhny DOOM noice ta meat yah.
>>317330312
Rip him through the door
>>317330312
introduce your whole group to him
>>317330312
now ram through the door with the party
your are the battering ram
>>317330312
CRUSH HIS HAND IN A SHOW OF STRENGTH AND HONOR
>>317330338
YOu moved in for a kiss
>>317330557
PUT SOME TONGUE IN IT
>>317330557
Well played dm, well played
>>317330557
Open the door, Im a fairy! Don't you trust faires?
>>317330581
damn my spelling and grammer is shit today
>>317330557
Now make that kiss a mayor
>>317330557
Inappropriately slobber all over the kiss in a suggestive and lewd manner, all while keeping DIRECT eye contact with Generic Knight No. 134
>>317330581
Door rammed
>>317330871
Dance party time
>>317330871
Surprised we made it through the door
>>317330871
Approach the guard seductively
>>317330871
OOGAH BOOGAH
WHERE DA IMPERIAL WIMMEN AT
>>317330910
Whats the theme?
>>317330942
"YEah, usually it would've taken a whole thread just for reaching the doorknob"
>>317331013
Stayin alive by bee gees
Ask where they keep the warp pipes so you can skip the rest of the trials
>>317331086
Summon bees with your bee call
>>317331103
"IN THE KITCHEN! WHERE THEY BELONG!"
"AYYYYY!"
"YOU KNOW IT MAN"
>>317331086
engage bulldozer mode
>>317331315
The final trial...is a fight against a REAL Rainbow Man!
>>317331315
Go fedora on them
>>317331357
"Hi, you must defeat me in combat to win"
>>317331538
YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT
>>317331538
Send in the peasant
>>317331553
Perfect victory
>>317331538
I GOTTA BEAT UP A GAY PRIDE MANNEQUIN NOW?
>>317331538
TAKE A FRUITY HINT OF PUNCH TO THE FACE
>>317331538
start crying
>>317331629
Peasant sent in....it wasn't very effective
>>317331896
See him in infrared vision
>>317331896
but who was the rainbow man from earlier trial room?
>>317331896
Rainbow privilaged much?!
>>317331896
TASTE THE RAINBOW MAN
>>317331896
Hit him with fruits
>>317331896
Use fire finger to burn and discolour him, causing him to lose his rainbow powers
>>317331896
Lightning bolt!
>>317331935
"A cardboard cutout! We don't have enough money for 2 rainbow men okay?! Even nobles have to take budget cuts"
>>317331896
stop believing in the rainbow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OqaVtCHIKY
>>317332134
Send in the cleric
>>317332134
mourn the peasant
melodramatically
throw magnets at him
rainbows hate magnets
>>317332212
>>317332134
And tell him he's not a miracle
>>317332184
[slow motion yelling with overly dramatic music in the background]
>>317332450
Rainbow man becomes disheartened from the tragic scene.
>>317332450
huck peasant at him to buy time
>>317332450
Send the cleric in
>>317332450
Eat the peasant for exp,he would have wanted it for you to do that
>>317332450
He's not dead, just broken
btw does the captcha move anyone else to the top of the page?
>>317332450
both of these
>>317332503
>>317332507
>>317332559
"the...captc..cha's ffffine.....at least..for me" said Todd the peasant
>>317332735
send in the gladiator
>>317332735
continue with peasant chucking
>>317332735
Send the gladiator in
>>317332735
retaliate by punching the rainbow man
>>317332735
Punch Rainbow man in the face so hard he ends up in a different reality
>>317332735
Punch self in face
>>317332735
Send in the black jew....
>>317332735
puch yo peasant in the face
>>317332885
No need to abuse tradition
>>317332972
send in the wizard
>>317332972
Rainbow Man channels his karate power
>>317332735
Barbarian ghost-mom is friends with Rainbow man's ghost-mom. She is ashamed.
>>317333005
by chucking him
>>317332972
Your mom's ghost begins to flirt with rainbow man
>>317332972
Run in with a leap kick.
>>317332972
chuck the peasant again
>>317332972
chuck all of your party at him
>>317333005
The wizard zaps Rainbow Man
>>317333395
throw the wizard at him for maximum effect
>>317333395
Rainbow Man demonstrates to us his full strength
>>317333395
throw a glass of water
making him wet increases damange right?
video games said so
>>317333417
"I'm so ashamed"'
"I know, right"
>>317333757
flirt with rainbow ghost mom
>>317333757
rainbow man uses "forced-tolerance-ray"
making you forcibly agree to SJW ideals
>>317333757
I want to fug rainbow ghost-mom.
>>317333757
Use a summon
>>317333757
Rainbow man complains that his mother is always judging his actions and won't let him be his own rainbow man.
>>317333838
"Hey fuck you anon, that's my mother"
>>317334032
Yes and?
>>317334032
Now you've done it
>>317334032
She's still hot you rainbow colored asshole.
>>317334032
You wanna fight about it fuckboi?
>>317334032
Rainbow mom accepts anon's proposal. Rainbow man dies from embarrassment.
>>317334032
anon grabs rainbow mom and rainbow man pursues, you can now proceed
>>317334048
"So how about you fuckoff back to whatever hole you crawled out of. Go on. Shoo"
>>317334250
CHEAPSHOT THE MOFO BARBARIAN
>>317334250
Ill crawl into your mom's hole IFYAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN
>>317334540
grab your peasant and continue onwards while not thinking about stupid sexy rainbowmom
>>317334540
Before you leave, you notice a 4chan thread open on Rainbow man's computer. It's an adventure thread about a viking in a king's tower of 100 tests.
>>317334540
NOW FACE THE RAINBOW CUT OUT
>>317334540
Quest complete
Reward is a bigger fire hand
Like over sized Styrofoam hand
>>317334647
YOu grabbed Todd and continue onwards to meet the noble and collect your reward for completing his 100 trials.
While trying to not think about rainbowmom
>>317334861
fail to not think about rainbowmom
>>317334861
...but there's no door.
>>317334861
Peasant girl shows up and tells you to stop
>>317334861
Get special reward! In room 100 because you are done with trials
>>317334949
"Ah yes! YOu have beaten the 100 trials! Congratulations, here is your prize: a loot chest. BUT WAIT! If you dare to take another gauntlet of trials you'll get both this and an even bigger chest!"
>>317335119
Depends on how many trials are in this new gauntlet.
>>317335119
open the chestit's your dad's skull
>>317335119
Visions of shiny loot cloud your judgement and you forget why you came in the first place. More trials!
>>317335119
Fuck that chest right in the pussy
>>317335119
tell him to go fuck himself
>>317335119
Hmmm say yes then god fast forwards to trial 199.
>>317335158
"200! It's like you can get double the previous number of trials you've completed but for the price of one!"
>>317335284
nah fuck off gibe me that chest
what do have, some kind of fetish for trials?
>>317335284
Ask him to write his math down on a sheet of paper because its confusing
>>317335318
"Ah yes! Here is your prize! A gift from the King himself! It's apparently a Barbarian Helm fashioned from a skull of some beast! I heard it has a stat boosting enchantment"
>>317335550
and the thing speaks
reunite with your dad
>>317335550
Double the skull hats, double the trials!
>>317335550
Wear it. It does absolutely nothing
>>317335601
"Bruh, your dad is being held in the king's dungeon right now"
>>317335756
wear the talking helmet
check the stat boost
>>317335756
Slap it for saying "bruh"
>>317335756
regret that the helmet speaks
>>317335756
Discuss politics with the helmet over tea and cookies.
>>317335992
make it a codpiece instead
>>317335992
helmet flirts with ghost mom
>>317335992
proceed to the peasant girl
>>317335992
King's dungeon is in the castle of 305 torments.
>>317335992
Where's the peasant girl we came to rescue?
>>317336096
YOu discussed politics over tea and cookies with the talking helmet
>>317336301
WHO'S MY FATHER'S CAPTOR
>>317336301
turns out the nobel raped and killed the peasant girl while we were busy doing all those trials
>>317336301
Become enraged over the talking helmet's ignorant views
>>317336335
"My long-lost daughter is no longer a peasant! She's a noble now"
>>317336543
fuck him up and steal the girl
>>317336543
oh well she is in good hands now
>>317336543
trade talking helmet for female noble
>>317336543
Ask the girl if that's true
>>317336543
Play his game and use the talking helmet as a puppet
>>317336657
"Well my peasant parents did always remind me that I'm adopted whenever I do something wrong"
>>317336805
Ask for some gold
>>317336805
Take the girl and run
>>317336805
I want to cuddle with her.
>>317336805
[CUDDLE INTENSELY]
>>317336845
"What? That helmet's not enough of a reward for you?! Gold don't grow on trees you know"
>>317336974
Point to the gold tree the man is standing under right now
>>317336974
What about the gold trees in you yard
>>317336974
Fuck you, you've got a gold tree acre
>>317337035
"What gold trees?! THey're...uh...lemons"
>>317337216
As if you can milk the lemons
>>317337216
You're not a noble, you're a fake.
>>317337216
Let me taste your lemons then
>>317337216
Perfect, I love my tea with some lemons
>>317337216
But lemons are even more valuable than gold due to their scarcity and high-valued sourness
>>317337216
Ask for some lemonade
>>317337216
Nice sign
>>317337309
"Perfect! HEre's a lemon, goodbye!"
THen he slams the door shut
>>317337450
so he forgot the girl in this room? Master plan worked
>>317337450
That's what you get for not putting any points in intelligence.
>>317337450
Milk the lemon
>>317337450
Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons makeTHAT FUCKING CHEAPSKATE GIVE US HIS GOLD
>>317337450
We're not even outside the tower
Do i hear moaning
>>317337450
Burn his tower down.
>>317337518
Yeah. You get lemons! Awesome!
>>317337625
You better milk that lemon
>>317337625
noble left little girl with us in haste of hide gold trees
>>317337625
Chew on the lemon.
>>317337837
But he also left her with her own personal bodyguard
>>317338082
Exchange the lemon for the girl.
>>317338082
challenge him at Lemon Eating competition
>>317338082
Recruit bodyguard
>>317338082
Offer lemon to bodyguard, what left of it anyway
>>317338178
"Sorry, my job is to stay here and protect the little lady"
>>317338251
"If I bring the girl with me you'll still be able to protect her."
>>317338306
"What? A lemon eating contest with one half-eaten lemon?"
>>317338251
I'm a little lady, check my license
>>317338251
but your boss is an asshole
>>317338398
Tell him there are more lemons in the room marked "Gold tree farm"
>>317338398
You want it or not?
>>317338398
no no, the every year contest which is going outside your wall
I heard the price is outstanding (two little girls)
>>317338529
fug, I meant prize
>>317338529
"Oh yes, this contest is held yearly right here good sirs. Would you like to test yourselves?! Only two little girls per entrant"
>>317338679
The winner gets all little girls which were contributed I suppose?
>>317338679
Mom's disembodied head is small enough to be considered a little girl right?
>>317338749
just put that head on a peasant
>>317336805
Explode nobles face with fire hand
"You are now"
>>317338749
"Nah, too old"
>>317338827
good thing that peasant in our party was a little girl
>>317338827
Grab the girl while the bodyguard is attempting to haggle
>>317338827
Fine I'll do it
>>317338898
"Whoa whoa whoa, hands off, buddy."
Damn, he's too quick
>>317339197
Tackle body gaurd
>>317339197
>>317338871
enter the tournament
>>317339197
You hold hands and have a tender moment.
>>317339197
Thief grabs her
>>317339197
burning finger activate
then >>317339303
>>317339197
We're going to have to go halves on this, you and me competing together. Give me the girl as your half of the payment.
>>317339197
give him a hearty handshake
>>317339525
Scream in his face very loudly as a distraction.
>>317339525
They go flying. Bodyguard is actually little girl in armor.
>>317339525
Button mash!
>>317339525
hold him and burn him
>>317339525Rules of nature.
>>317339656
Mash A to win!
>>317339772
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>317339772
actually mash A and win
>>317339772
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>317339772
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>317339772
B
FUCK
AAAAAAAAAAAA
>>317339772
Thank god i have a turbo controller
>>317339772
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
https://youtu.be/N3472Q6kvg0?t=1m3s
>>317339772
What have you done OP
>>317339807
You tackled him into a wall
>>317340042
keep mashing A
>>317340042
burning finger activated
then body slam into gold garden
>>317340042
Keep mashing!
>>317340042
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>317340042
Grab both the girl and bodyguard and run!
>>317340042
KEEP GOING, KEEP CHARGING, KEEP MASHING
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>317340042
THROUGH THE WALL
>>317340109
You kept mashing A - oh shit
>>317340334
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB THIS IS INTENSE HOLY SHIT
>>317340334
Your A mashing has led you straight through all the walls, into the king's dungeon.
>>317340334
Grab the girl and run
>>317340334
Fuck um mash them all!? There's no way we can miss one if we mash them all
>>317340334
EEEEEEEEEEE
er wrong buttons
BBBBBBBBBBBB
> >>317340334
Pause check skills
>>317340462
"Oh no you don't. You're not getting away"
>>317340669
ENGAGE BULLDOZER MODE
>>317340669
I'm not, but the thief already has.
>>317340669
do a reverse and pin him
>>317340748
"Don't look at me. I'm a bandit.....But a thief did just broke into the tower and stole all the valuables"
>>317340926
give him a donut
>>317340669
Street fighter combo!
>>317340926
Including the girl, right?
>>317340926
Yoink!
>>317340926
noble offers another reward if yo chase the thief
>>317340943
"So....how about a donut?"Whoops gotta go for a bit. Be back in about 30 minutes.If the thread is stil alive then, anyway
>>317341134
The donut is enchanted! eating it will lead the way to the thief
>>317341134
On second thought, no donut.
>>317341164
So since you failed to protect the girl and the valuables, want to join up with me?
>>317341134
It is now 30 minutes later. The donut is cold.
>>317340334
Ask for him if he wants to drink a beer with you after the fight.while he is drinking you put tje talking helmet on the little girl>>317341134
>>317341361
Look who's baaack
The autistic child
>>317341361
>no fun allowed
>>317343057
Trade the talking helmet for donut
>>317343057
Throw dona at guard
>>317343192
You got: a donut
>>317343320
Bash his head in with the helmet
>>317343320
Trade donut for the girl and then trade girl for the talking helmet
>>317343320
Yoink the girl while knight is distracted by donut
>>317343363
Bandit King used Helmet Bash!
Knight Bodyguard takes 5 damage!
>>317343550
pour salt on the wound
>>317343550
Kick the bodyguard in the knee, that will teach him a lesson
>>317343609
I dunno how pouring salt onto his helmet would help but okay
>>317343719
lick the salt
>>317343719
JUST FUCKING THROW A SACK FULL OF SALT THEN
>>317343719
take the lemon and squirt some in his eyes
>>317343719
Say to the bodyguard that you will take the girl to somewhere safe, and take her into the door marked "the kings top secret"
>>317343719
More salt, and some lemon.
>>317343851
don't forget the lemon
>>317343851
put your burning finger on the armor and let the heat quickly rise
>>317343851
Rescue the girl
>>317343963
Ask if he is feeling something
>>317343963
Yoink?
>>317343963
Now seems like a good time for celebration.
>>317344019
"I'm going to kick you in the face now"
>>317344095
hold you blade aloft and yell "By the power of Gray skull"
>>317344095
Could you say you're salty?
>>317344095
Ask if he wants a donut
>>317344095
puch yo self in the face
>>317344158
"And a bit sour, too"
>>317344313
Mock his saltiness with twitch emotes
>>317344313
Died to deviljho Fuck I hate that monster use gamer rage!
>>317344313
quickly grab his leg and pin him down
>>317344313
Punch yourself in the face
>It's a distraction
>>317344313
Try to befriend him giving him the donut as a proof of friendship
>>317344313
Throw a bag of sugar at him and say "sweet and sour"
>>317344409
Oh no! He pushed your arm while you were punching yourself! Now your arm is stuck in your face!
came in this thread expecting cute lewd drawings
was disappointed
>>317344568
Noble is drowning in a nearby river because the body guard wasn't paying attention
>>317344568
Use the uguu
>>317344568
Kick him while he tries to punch you in the face
>>317344568
Now that my fist has merged with my face, I can finally achieve my final form.
>>317344604
>came in this thread expecting cute lewd drawings
What made you think that?
Manly barbarian in front of a door part 8?
>>317344672
Yes.. finally...Face and fist, together as one.
>>317344810
become a sentient bazooka
>>317344810
that's gay
>>317344810
Nah screw that, roast the fucker in his armor
>>317344810
Face-fist him
>>317344693
but there's a cute peasant girl. Also ghostmoms
>>317344810
super barbarian fist-face god ?
>>317344693
hey man lots of these threads involve cute semen demons, monster girls, gender bend potions, princesses in lewd outfits etc you fucking name it
>>317344885
No those are just draw fag threads this super awesome adventure thin threads
>>317344885
Yeah we missed our chance to be the little girl barbarian
Oh well, maybe next time
>>317344971
Face-fist the knight
>>317344971
Ask help to the girl
>>317344971
We must push fist further into the face.
>>317344971
RAGING ELBOW DROP OF THE THOUSAND SUNS THAT GUARD.
>>317344993
> little girl barbarian
>>317345082
Careful there, buddy
>>317345045
You declared yourself to be a sentient bazooka
"Man, did you punched your own brain too ahrd or something?...What the hell is a bazooka anyway"
>>317345184
Imitate bazooka with the help of wizard.
>>317345184
Attempt the old tickle maneuver on ye old guard
>>317345184
>>317345128
>>317345023
>>317344897
>>317344853
Don't be cruel op
>>317345184
Bazooka him
>>317345184
Show him what a bazooka can do
>>317345184
you are too stupid to explain
>>317345184
Ask to the girl if she wans to be a cute little barbarian
>>317345184
shoot your beard at him
>>317345271
It's based off post numbers, dude. If you want it to happen quit rolling shit numbers
>>317345353
Like I have control
>>317345434
Luck's a skill, anon
>>317345289
You mime being a bazooka, pretending to shoot a projectile and going fwoooosh.
The knight still have no idea what you're trying to say.
>>317345271
It's not me. It's the numbers.
It's always the numbers.
Always.
>>317345462
>not using emotional skill to win rollsOP if you don't pick my rolls i'll tell the police you raped me. also i wont tell you which posts are mine
>>317345495
Guess he needs a more literal demonstration. Demonstrate into his face
>>317345495
>>317345270
Do it. It'll work guys. Trust me.
>>317345495
Charge forward, ramming your elbow in his face
>>317345495
kick him in the crotch
>>317345495
the bandit backstabs him in his confusion
>>317345495
Everybody else sneaks behind him while you keep his attention.
>>317345495
Try to shoot qt the wall next to him as a demonstration
>>317345589bad move anon have you seen this guy's armor
>>317345495
You are lieing I've seen it before, it's also based on if it's funnier than the others. Now Face-fist that fucker until he rusts!
>>317345654
it matters not
>>317345670
Fuck me I'm done....
>>317345670
that zero tells that you are incorrect
>>317345589
KLONK
"I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL....also a really good codpiece"
>>317345807
Kick him with your second leg
>>317345807
FIRE KICK
>>317345807
Use water gun to rust his armor
>>317345715
We already had a nine, what exactly are you trying to accomplish?
>>317345807
You were just pretending to be retarded.
>>317345807
NRFS and Pompous Knight show up to throw Knight Bodyguard a surprise party.
>>317345807
now spin to win with your leg
Why is there /tg/ cancer bleeding onto /v/?
>>317345807
Get the Wizard to shock his armour
>>317345881
Fuuuuuuuck >>317345881
My number was still low, and so was this...
>>317345924
hownew.ru
>>317345924
>/v/ calling someone cancer
Good one.
>>317345924
>Being this new
>Thinking you know anything about cancer
>>317345961
Someday........ bud... Your gunna need to roll low. And you'll be upset.. because here you are wasting those precious rolls. So cheer up......it's not all bad.
>>317345897
tickle tickle tickle
Damnit, his METAL ARMOR granted him imunnity to tickling
>>317346068
slip you fingers under his armor
>>317346068
While you're there, SUPLEX HIM!
>>317346068
Say that he's mom is calling him for dinner
>>317346068
Is your arm out of your face?
>>317345924
>Bitching about one of the few enjoyable threads on the board
>>317346068
Meanwhile at the lemon eating competition...
>>317346068
That's never stopped anyone before! Tickle with fire next time!at least your hand is out of your mouth now
Came into this thread to compliment OP for not tripfagging
>>317346212
Hardly needs a trip when he's the one posting pictures
>>317346109
He moves his body slightly, and crushes one of your fingers with his armor! Oh no!
>>317346309
All according to plan! Sort of. Light your finger on fire in his armor.
>>317346309
Take time to get a band aid from the little girl. Dora the explorer preferred.
>>317346309
so what your're a barbarian tear his armor of
>>317346259
You'd be surprised how many people don't realize this
>>317346309
CHAH CHAH REAL SMOOTH
>>317346309
Screeeeeeeeeee! Use flamethrower!
>>317346309
Ask gently if he will take off his armor to a real fight
>>317346309
Ask for a band aid
>>317346329
You suplexed him. With one arm.
>>317346540
Your gunna need that band aid now.
>>317346540
Suplex him again.
>>317346540
Pin him
>>317346589
while getting angry-er
>>317346540
Strip him of his helmet and look deep into his eyes.
>>317346579
The gladiator fixes up your finger
>>317346703
Plant the newly bandaged finger into the exposed gap in the knights codpiece.
>>317346703
Make a little hole in the bandaid for controlled fire bursts.
>>317346703
Poke him in the eye.
Rules of combat don't exist here.
>>317346703
Pause, show skills and health bars
>>317346703
get angry
>>317346703
Declare yourself the winner and move on
>>317346703
team up with the gladiator and clothesline the knight
>>317346703
Take the girl and club the knight
>>317346745
Knight grabs your arm
>>317346938
*it's a hologram*
>>317346938
Rip...
>>317346938
Scream that he's raping you.
>>317346938
IT'S OVER
>>317346703
Go check the girl
>>317346938
You have two arms, use the other one
>>317346938
Counter-attack using expert button mashing.
>>317346938
Become a barbarian truck driver. The open road is our new adventure.
>>317347005
"That's bullshit, he's not the one trying to touch other people's codpieces"
"Don't Barbarians rape and pillage all the time anyway?"
>>317347167
Use the moment and throw the knight.
>>317347167
accept defeat
>>317347167
Answers that you arent any barbarian, say that you are THE BARBARIAN
>>317347167
Claim they are victim blamers
>>317347167
>>317347057
Take the knight with you as your co-driver.
>>317347279
"So being THE BARBARIAN means you're the one getting raped instead?"
>>317347371
yes, kind sir
>>317347371
I just rammed my fist through my face, I am not mentally capable of consenting.
>>317347371
It means I have PLOT ARMOR
>>317347371
yes?
>>317347371
Tell the wizard to zap him.
>>317347371
Screams "word hurts", "me right"
>>317347437
"Very well, carry on then"
>>317347519
Take him to court for victim blaming!
>>317347519
scream in a autistic fit of rage
>>317347519
Get intimately close to the prone knight's face.
>>317347519
That's it, use Berserk Rage. We have a reason, too.
>>317347519
Take the girl as the proof of the accusation
>>317347568
[heavy breathing muffled due to a fist being in the way]
>>317347668
Closer!
>>317347668
Elbow him in the face.
>>317347668
Scream
>>317347668
headbutt
>>317347668
Whispers "I know what I want now, right?"
>>317347668
Eat your hand
>>317347938
Achieve victory?
>>317347938
Attempt to remove his helmet.
>>317347938
smashing blow
>>317347938
Shoot him a Moon Beam.
>>317347938
Make the dance of victory
>>317347986
But it's daytime, the moon hasn't come out yet
>>317348101
Sun Beam will do.
>>317348101
shoot him a sun beam then!
>>317348101
Gonna Have To Take Sunbeam instead
>>317348101
Force him to eat the donut
>>317348291
He dead yet?
>>317348291
The brightness of the sunbeam permanently blinds you
>>317348291
shoulder slam from the top of the ring
>>317348291
Check if he is still alive.
>>317348291
Now dance over the dead body with the girl
>>317348291
The knight's armor is destroyed
>>317348291
More sunbeam.
But not lethally.
>>317348291
why didn't we use this before?
Maybe it was too much, say you're sorry and help him
>>317348389
"You jerk! He was my friend"
>>317348535
He said dance
>>317348535
Well uh, he's probably not dead, just sleeping, and toasty.
>>317348535
You are my friend now
This seems to be a good place to ask. What do you guys think ofPlato's threads?
>>317348535
And now he's dead, and you are gonna become cute cleric. Such is life.
>>317348613
Literally fucking who.
>>317348535
Ok fine you are coming with us and your knight friend can tag along.
I dub him toasty knight
>>317348535
Now you are my friend
>>317348613
rarely see him on /v/. isn't he a fa/tg/guy?
>>317348608
"No I'm not! In fact, I think you're the same barbarian who raided my village! Guards! Get him!"
"Guys, I'm still alive here, a healer would be appreciated"
>>317348757
Pick her up while shouting FRIEND NOW and run off
>>317348757
shine both of them with your teethit heals the knight
>>317348809
Damnit, you can no longer use your BARBARIAN VISION
Also the guards are closing in
>>317348851
Grab the nearest small girl shaped thing and run.
>>317348851
RAGE
>>317348851
I can't see it so it won't happen
>>317348851
EVERYTHING DARK
>>317348851
You use your improved sense of hearing to avoid them
>>317348635
arch.b4k.co/v/thread/317095424/
>>317348851
Screams rape to protect yourself
>>317348851
just collect your welfare check and go home
>>317348918
"Wait! He just healed him"
>>317349109
NICE HELMET
>>317349109
Hug him
>>317349109
Shill your toothpaste
>>317349109
Eat some Go-Gurt! The on the go yogurt!
>>317349109
shine yourself to heal your blindnessdon't forget the commercial
>>317349109
Apologise to the knight, whose armour is still the colour of burnt toast
>>317349109
TRADE HELMETS
>>317349109
Girl, you owe us now. Back to wilderness.
>>317349109
Now you heal your face , comercial,
Kidnap knight and girl
>>317349178
This miraculous healing is brought to you by Coldgate Brutal, the number 1 reccomended toothpaste by barbarians. Perfect for letting your teeth shine while you crush your enemies and see them driven before you. Especially when you hear the lamentations of their women.
>>317349383
We'll be right back after these messages.
>>317349383
Now grab the girl and the bodyguard and go to the dungeon
>>317349383
Grab the girl and knight, your smile healed you by the way.
>>317349478
And so your party head for the dungeon.
THe girl and knight agreed to assist you since you healed him and the noble needs some time to recover his stolen wealth anyway.To be continuedupdates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>317349641
Why did we want the girl again?
And the knight doesn't mind that we molested him?
>>317349641
Give us the last pic of current party.
>>317349641
thanks for the bread OP
>>317349716
Well he had a codpiece on, also it was during a fight so it doesn't count
>>317349732
We don't have enough time before the thread dies anon, maybe next time.
>>317349641
I loved this rp
