>>72099067
>>72099147
One time I was told to be home by 10. But I stayed out till like 2. I didn't even let mom punish me.
>>72099177 (dubs)
>>72099217
>>72099250
>>72099147
>what if cameras were guns?
Is Jared Leto related to Jaden smith?
I laughed once
So... is that a (bad) meme around here ?
>>72099294
>>72099335
tfw mexicans build a wall to shield themselves from Jared Leto.
I went out to friends but they had already gone to the outside. I then looked at myself and Dave in the while I tried to seen it. They came back while failing to comprehend the.
>its a reddi/t/v/s version of times you acted like the driver episode
terrible
save us /lit/ and /mu/
Once my girlfriend and I were getting ready for bed, and I was setting the alarm clock. It was one of those digital clocks where you set the time by holding down the hour or minute button and it increments from 1 to 12 or 59. Anyway, I accidentally left my finger on the minute button too long, and when I released it, I had set the alarm to 7:01 instead of 7:00.
I looked at my girlfriend, and she gave me a look of sympathy, knowing I'd have to hold that button down for the full cycle. But that expression turned to shock when I held her gaze and said:
"Eh, fuck it. What does it really matter?"
She glanced nervously at the clock and then back to me, and I grinned and continued.
"What does ANY of it really matter?"
I heard her breath caught in her throat, and I just started laughing, and she only stared at me, terrified. And the more scared she looked, the harder I laughed, and the harder I laughed, she more terrified she got. She never laughed, not like I did. So I shot her in the spine and paralyzed her from the waist down.
I took a penny, but never left a penny.
>cooking dinner for friends
>m8 tells me he wants his steak medium-rare
>i do it medium
>>72099147
>>72099177
>>72099217
>>72099250
>>72099294
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>72099147
>>72099177
>>72099217
>>72099250
>>72099294
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
ITT times you posted the same shit over and over again because you're a pathetic faggot
>>72099213
why would you do that?
Wife asked me to take out the frozen meat for dinner i took out 5 minutes before she came home
remind me again how someone with a perfect hairline is suppose to be menacing?
>pouring coffee for friend
>"You want cream and sugar in that?"
>"No, thank you."
>"Fine...I won't give you any cream and sugar."
>before he can react, I put milk and Splenda in his coffee
>>72099213
How did mom respond?
>Be in secondary school (high school for you yanks)
>Need parents permission to watch a 15 film about WW2 (schindlers list)
>Forge mum's siganture
>Continue my education without her permission.
>>72100430
But... but... why? I mean... he said... and then you... why? what kind of world is this?
>be in preschool
>big plastic tub of crayons for coloring
>take one of the crayons and sneak it into my pocket
>get home
>run into the living room and victoriously snap the crayon in half in celebration of my successful theft
Don't tell anyone about this. They might lock me up.
Back in elementary school, at every winter, the other kids would make snowmen. I didn't.I tipped the other kids' snowmen over instead.
>>72100755
Because I'm CRAZY, man. Sometimes a switch just flips in my brain
I was in the pharmacy a while ago. There was a really good-looking pharmacist behind the counter. Really good-looking.
I went up and asked her where the cough syrup was. I didn't even have a cough, and I almost bought it.
I'm talking about a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup, which costs like six bucks.
Sometimes I pirate gamesand don't seed afterwards
At my community college we had a debate about police and the black community and someone mentioned the Black Lives Matter movement.
I stood up, smoothed out my Meninist t-shirt, straightened my fedora and took a hit of my vape.
Cherry Passion, my favorite.
"So I guess you don't think all lives matter then?"
No one said anything. Clearly stunned into silence by the logistical roadblock I had placed down.
I love fucking with the normies heads just like the Joker would.
>>72100187
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh r u me
One time my Mum was making me food and asked if I wanted any vegetables. "I don't want any damn vegetables", I replied. She just looked at me, mouth open and aghast, and I smiled to myself as I crackled the diddly.
One time I paid to see a movie in a theater then after the movie had finished I snuck in to see another one, couldnt stop laughing at the chaos I've created for the theater.
one time
I rolled out of the bed and onto my ass
farted
and giggled
>post hot chick
>guy asks for sauce
>dont give it
>>72099473
It's actually /tv/'s version of /r9k/ mischief threads, non redditors and non tourists know this
>falling for the method acting meme
Just an excuse for actors to be pretentious assholes
This one time I ate at a restaurant and gave exactly a 14.9999% tip, with a note "when you're crazy, everything rounds up"
I bet the waitress freaked
>>72105369
Sauce?
>>72105369
>>72105674
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvalaMEQoz4
i searched lara croft cosplay on youtube first result
>>72105729
>gives the source
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>72099067
the damaged one is especially cringey
>>72105753
>:)
what can i say
i guess ive gone
a little bit
mad........
>:)
>go to 7-11
>buy a soda
>pay with 2 dollars worth of penny rolls
>"hey man, I can't take it we have to count it all"
>"look, I'm here all the time, it's good."
>"yeah but if I do it for you I gotta do it for everyone, you know?"
>"I mean how many people come in here with just pennies? Besides, it's legal tender."
>"fine, whatever, let me check with the manager"
>manager won't be back for an hour, so I wait, giggling fiendishly to myself
>he gets back, talks with the employee
>"yeah, he says it's fine"
>little does he know I deliberately left out one penny
JUST A LITTLE WRENCH IN THE SYSTEM
my favourite leto story
i'm gonna break curfew for this film, fuck my parents!
>>72099067
Pic related is the irl joker
