/Cinema mischief/
>Buy ticket to latest flick
>"enjoy your movie!"
>don't
>>72048475
>shit in isle
>don't wipe
>buy ticket to packed premier
>rip ass the entire time
Oops!
There was an article a few years ago about cinema employees in full-body black leotards sneaking around the theater and stopping mischief. And by mischief I mean wanking.
I haven't been able to find that article, which is unfortunate.
>go on /tv/
>actually attempt to discuss television & film
>buy a large tub of popcorn
>pour my own homemade butter on it rather than theater butter
The perfect crime...
>>72048475
>say i wont report thread
>report it anyway
>find a seat before movie starts
>sleep through trailers and movie
>go home and play vidya
>>72048638
Nothing wrong with a cheeky public wank. Its quite the hobby.
>Give ticket to ticketboy
>He rips it, 'Theater number _, on your left.'
>'Thanks,' Go right.
>'Sir, your left.'
>'I know, i'm just kidding around lol.'
>go to see the latest horror movie
>theater packed
>when things get tense I have the urge to be comedic relief
>start shouting things like "nigga what are you doing!?"
>use the word nigga a lot because no one can tell I'm white in a dark theater
>cashier asked if i want a soda
>say no
>I actually DID want a soda
LMAO CASHIER BTFO
>go to theater that shows black films
>talk so much Black people tell me to shut up
>say okay and take out phone and talk to friend for the rest of the movie
>Employee tells me to be careful because the popcorn I'm about to enjoy is extremely hot
>Reach in the bucket immediately and burn my hand anyway
>Bring mom because no singles policy
>'Please buy me popcorn, please!' she does
>Every time she reaches for some I pull it away.
>'I bought th--' 'SHUSHHH'
>sign says "no kicking of seats"
>kick an empty seat in front of me anyway
>sneak seven layer mexicali dip and corn chips into theater
>it actually has only six layers
>>72049278
Just hungry my shit up
>ticket taker asks for ticket
>tear it in half myself
>what are you going to do now?
>ticket taker starts to shake
>is actually a robot
>head explodes
>run home
>cry myself to sleep
>bring falcon to cineplex
>it's actually aeagle
>signs says "one towel per person" in showers
>use 2 towels
>>72050366
>sign says you must wash thoroughly
>only wash semi-thoroughly
lmao
>>72050409
You belong in the arkham asylum, Joker
>get popcorn
>ask for bbq pouch
>save it for homemade popcorn
>sign has different price for seniors
>say I'm a senor from Mexico
>buy ticket in empty theatre
>sit in the wrong seat on purpose
1 NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
