>it's a Truman sits down to pee episode
>truman is alone
>he thinks something
>answers himself aloud for no reason
>>71758556
>its a Truman hasn't jerked off in while so he cums way harder than expected and hits himself in the face episode
>>71758767
>the 3 week arc of him trying to suck his own penis
>>71758597
You mean... you don't? That's not normal?
>it's a truman sniffs his own shit episode
>>71758767
>>71758862
>>71758895
>its a Truman posts in a Trumanposting thread using shameful stories from his real life thread
>>71758556
What if jim carrey was the actual one who starts these threads for the fuck of it?
>>71759004
>it's a Truman realizes that without the show no one will ever care about him again and he will never be as loved as he once was so he drinks heavily and starts threads about himself on /tv/ episode
>it's a Marlon brings over the wrong brand of beer so Truman ties him up in the basement for a week episode
thanks for continuing my meme fampai
>>71758556
Standing to pee is dumb unless you're at a urinal or outside or something. Standing and peeing into a sitting toilet is retarded.
>>71759203
>he can't aim his pee into a toilet bowl without sitting down
Shitter's like a foot wide how is your aim that bad?
>>71759203
it should be illegal to be this bad at peeing
>it's a Truman hears the N word for the first time in his life and can't stop saying it episode
>it's a Truman drinks a little bit too much at a party in order to work up the courage to talk to the new chick his friend invited that would "totally be into" him and his quirky charm but Truman fucks up and goes home early without telling anyone he left episode
>again
>>71759203
this
im a sissy girl who loves to sit down to pee
>>71760154
DELETE THIS
>>71760957
>It's a Truman actually manages to pull himself together and be a charming and outgoing person for long enough that a nice girl he just met shows interest but he's gotten so used to rejection that he didn't pick up on her being interested so he missed his chance episode
>AGAIN
Truman shitposts and masterbates on 4chan episode.
>>71758937
So a rerun then?
>>71759203
>>71758556
>sit down to literally everything else in life
>sit down to pee then you're a faggot
ok
>>71761275
you don't take your pants down and sit for everything else in life, you can't equate the two
I just have to lift the bowl, unzip, and go.
If I want to sit I have to undo my belt and undo the button and then pull my pants down and then fix all that.
>It's a Truman remembers embarrassing things he did as a teenager and starts screeching and punching the walls episode
>"Surprise party you kike loving son of a bitch!"
Why did they let Raimi write the lines for Marlon?
>it's a HBO skillfully put in placements of GoT without letting Truman know about the show episode
>it's a Truman pees in the sink so he doesn't have to walk to the bathroom episode
>>71759203
I know its hard to piss with chastity device
>>71758556
>Its a Truman masturbates to his own pile of feces while reading Guns & Ammo episode
>>71758556
>It's a Truman thinks the Third Reich had some valid points episode
>it's a Truman comes home from work and finds his wife being BLACKED episode
I sit down while I pee
there's nothing that strange about me
>it's a Truman listens to Steve Vai shredding
>pretends it's him in high school in front of everyone
It's a Truman celebrates 9/11 episode
>>71762027
>I sit down while I pee
>there's nothing that strange about me
uh, yes there is.
>it's a "truman goes on a killing spree but the cops cant shoot him, else the show will end" episode
>Its a Truman runs for Mayor as an NSDAP candidate episode
>>71762324
>he doesnt read the ipad for a few minutes and just enjoy the solitude
way to be an extroverted hurried piece of shit, fuck you
>It's a Truman drinks until he passes out to stave off crushing depression and loneliness episode
You'll never top yesterday's thread. Why force it bro?
>its a Truman kidnaps and tortures the neighbors pets episode.
>>71762232
>pretends it's him in high school in front of everyone
Was Marlon an alcoholic?
>>71762232
>high school was 15 years ago and I still do this
They all cheer for me. They all cheer for me.
>it's a "Truman hangs out at the girl's soccer match" episode
>>71762428
Where do you think you are? Eventually they'll wittle the meme down to one word they can post in all caps and Truman posting will truly begin.
>>71762428
Missed yesterday's thread. Archive link?
>>71758556
>it's a Truman browses /b/ again tonight and jerks off twice episode
>>71758597
I guess he could be conditioned to do that sort of thing 100% of times. Even normal people do this sometimes. He was just raised on purpose to do that thing all the time. Maybe sometimes even when he is not so much alone. And all other actors are instructed to act like they don't hear nothing to not dispell the effect.
>You are actor playing friend of Trumans wife
>You must sit through akward double date with them
>All the time Truman whisper silently of all the way he would fuck you
>You are not allowed to show anything
>>71763036
TRUMAN MASTURBATING EPISODE
>it's a 'truman has an ibd and shits 10 times a day' episode
>>71758556
You ever sit down the opposite way? As in facing the bowl? It's tight man, try it.
>>71759203
I have to sit down because I get light headed when I stand up and would probably faint if I didn't sit
>>71761191
>>71760154
>it's a Truman cries himself to sleep again because he feels worthless and alone and there's nothing to look forward to in life
>>71763242
>episode
>>71763242
>It's a Truman watches Bob Ross' Joy of Painting series on Netflix at 3am because it's the only thing that gets his mind off of his problems and shortcomings long enough to help him drift off to sleep episode
>It's a Truman tears up wyen Bob Ross talks about happy accidents and waiting for the good times to start episode
>It's been this episode in a row every night for longer than Truman is comfortable to admit
>>71763242
>>71763321
>>71763253
Why exactly is your life so terrible?
>>71763321
>it's a Truman overdoses on a bottle of placebos, wakes up at 2 AM and vomits pathetically while crying and panting hysterically episode
>>71763420
It's not so bad, I'm just not a content person and I'm always wanting more. I do actually watch Bob Ross before bed though it's maximum comfy and makes me happy. I just like Truman posting; it's the patrician form of shitposting. Plus sometimes if other anons know there is someone else out there that is also in a rough patch it might help them put it all in perspective and maybe my Truman posting will boost their morale about their own struggles. Sometimes you just gotta feel with someone you will never meet in real life, anon
>It's the Truman sneaks into his neighbours house whilst the kids are bathing, snaps pictures then leaves without a trace episode
>>71763463
>It's a Truman is happy he's alive but also suspects the grass would be greaner if he's dead episode
>>71763420
i'm weird, i make people uncomfortable, i'm alone, no friends, no gf, no hope. i can't change i don't know how what to do t-bh f-amalam
>it's a Truman watches as his friends have successful, fulfilling lives with their families as he slowly withers away in his parents' house episode
>>71763036
I vote for "OH TRUMAN!"
>>71763542
>friends
>aka disgusting normies who would stab you in thr back for $10
>gf
>aka a whore that will bleed you dry then cheat on you
Trust me, you're not missing much. As long as you live in a first world country, have food to eat, water to drink, a bed to sleep in and don't have any major diseases your life is better than most people.
>>71763542
>I have real problems guys
>Oh what are they?
>I don't get on well with other people
So fucking what
Are you really still stuck in the muh friends muh social circles high school mentality? There are higher pursuits anon
Serotonin, endorphins and dopamine are all just drugs that cloud your perception of reality
Your emotions betray you
Rise above
>>71763637
>>71763583
you won't understand unless you've been so depressed and anxious that you literally can't function, when going to the supermarket to get food seems impossible
>>71763637
>There are higher pursuits anon
You will find that pursuing those goals is a lot better when you have friends and a girlfriend/boyfriend to share your experiences with
>its a Truman dresses up as Hitler for halloween because he wasn't taught about WW2 and has recently seen Chaplin's "The Great Dictator"
>>71761338
who cleans your toilet?
>It's a Truman pretends to be Australian and shitposts about cocks for the entire evening on /tv/ until the redditors start crying in /qa/
>It's a Truman spends the entire day posting why his anime waifu is better than other people's anime waifus and then demands chicken tenders episode
>its a Truman gets tickled and accidentally shits himself episode
>>71763723
At least you have a supermarket to buy food from and enough money to do so. I don't need to hear your self-pity resulting from manufactured problems.
>>71764506
>only material problems are valid
>people with mental problems should just harden up
Are you aware that Truman's Show was a movie and not a real reality show, right? Nothing of the silly things posted here actually happened.
>>71764567
>I feel ANXIOUS :(
>I don't have a GIRLFRIEND :((
Wow, so horrible. I feel so bad for you. You have it so much worse than people with cancer, people with IBDs that make them shit 10 times a day, people paralyzed from the neck down, people living in war torn countries without access to clean water or food, much less the internet to bitch about their problems. Schizophrenia is a mental problem, not your le anxiety bullshit. They fucking wish that all they had to worry about was feeling nervous when going to the store because some misguided idea people judge their every move when in reality no one gives a shit and will forget them in 5 minutes, or feeling nervous because the cashier is some cute girl they've been hopelessly in love with for months but never spoken a word to or even made eye contact with. Get over yourself, you whiny bitch.
>>71764641
really makes you think
>>71764696
>>71763637
>being this butt-blasted by typical r9k posts
howdy reddit, your first night here?
>It's a Truman realises he's inside a reality show, then further realises that reality itself is a mere illusion. He then transcends reality, subliming from this existence episode.
>>71759203
I have problemsprobablywith prostate and sometimes when i stand and pee i get minor pains in my urethra because all the urine hasn't come out. That's why i usually sit down to pee.
>>71764696
this better be a pasta or it's a really bad case of summerfag
>>71764696
Mental issues don't work by competition, but good post nonetheless.
how does being an actor in the Truman Show even work?
let's say you play the part of his wife. you obviously make gorillion dollars for playing one of main roles in the most important tv show of all time, but what can you do with your money? you are stuck in some make-believe town. what can you spend the money on?
>>71764819
>someone's not a whiny bitch
>must be le summer xD
>>71764867
So your wife, her son, and her husband can live an expensive life of luxury outside in the real world.
>>71764848
Let me say it straight: It's not a fucking issue. It's a made up problem so you can bitch about things.
>>71764912
>look mom i'm a big boy on the internet now
>>71764772
>le call him reddit meme xd
This nigger was claiming his life is so bad and oh, so miserable and when asked why, it turns out he is just some loser that can't get a pussy and agonizes over it. He is little drama queen and I can perfectly understand why people get angry with his posts
Also, how would someone know what a typical /r9k/ post looks like if he had never been to /r9k/, you gave it a thought, Einstein?
>>71765114
i can tell you're a fucking newfag by how you try to rationalize every dumb post and turning everything into an argument that you have to win
>>71759203
I'm a germaphobe and I dislike the splash from the dirty toilet onto my pants
>>71764867
More like how much did Truman earn throughout the entire series?
>>71758556
>its a Truman stands up to wipe episode
>>71765318
50 gorillion dollars times zero.
>sit down to pee
>feel like I empty more of my bladder
>>71761191
>>It's a Truman actually manages to pull himself together and be a charming and outgoing person for long enough that a nice girl he just met shows interest but he's gotten so used to rejection that he didn't pick up on her being interested so he missed his chance episode
>>AGAIN
FUCK YOU
SHE WAS ALWAYS BUSY AND IS BEAUTIFUL
>>71764867
In the beginning of the movie the actress who played Truman's wife said something along the lines of
>"For me there's no distinction between Truman show life and real life"
I'm fairly sure the actors/actresses had contracts that had to be renewed yearly or something
>>71765229
So you can tell if someone is newfag if they follow some custom criteria you made, yes?
Wow, and I bet it has 100% success rate too! I mean, HOW could you ever be wrong, right?
I remember some guy years ago, I think it was on /v/ that got baited so hard I couldn't even convince him he that was bait because he was so adamant I am just a newfag and everything I was saying was just saving my ass. He even made some retarded 'test' to check my newfaggotry and lo and behold, turns out I was a newfag after all. I mean, not like his test was skewed to get some specific result or anything...
Anyway, I went on for some time, so, as a special favor to you, here is an advice to wrap things up - you aren't the smartest one around and here and don't assume everyone you talk with is a retard. Sometimes they are right and sometimes you are. But acknowledge that you also can be mistaken about certain things.
>Its an election year
>They let Truman know the names of candidates and parties in real USA but the issues are softened
>Truman is discouraged to express his political support
>There is no camera in voting booth
>>71758556
>Truman leaves the dome
>realizes every single one of his wanking sessions has been recorded and broadcast
>kills himself
>it's a Truman's been set up with his best friend's girlfriend's friend and actually hit it off and made out with her the two times he's seen her, but yesterday he invited her, his best friend, and his best friend's girlfriend over for a double date sesh at his place, but the girl brings her friend and spends the entire night snuggling up to that girl leaving Truman with the question of whether this chick came along because that girl was uncomfortable or whether it was one-off.
I fucking hated that episode? What's the next episode gonna be like /tv/?
bravo lads
>>71765391
He got robbed
The only reason to not sit down to pee is if you are in a disgusting public toilet.
If you are not sitting down on your own house toilet, you may have issues. Do you squat on the cover to shit as well?
"Meryl, I saw a strange girl on the plaza today. And at first I thought she was a boy because she was wearing this weird cloth"
"Oh really."
"and she came up to me and told me 'Remeber to watch Games of Throne tonight' then she left and took a bus. Gosh that's so weird. What is Game of Thrones anyway?"
>>71763583
>its a Truman tries to convince himself he really feels this way episode
>>71763082
fuck man, they would get the friend actors to drag him out of the house in that case
>it's a Truman sharts at Whole Foods then awkwardly shuffles home episode
>>71765522
I think you should turn your logic inward, friend.
>>71758556
>it's a Truman runs over a black kid episode
>it's a Truman spends most of his time at work hiding episode
To be honest, the new girl they were going to pair Truman up with was fine as fuck
Too bad it was an arranged marriage in the worst sense a la the girlfriend experience
Somehow it was sweet to see that Truman with the scrapbook of that other girl and she actually still loves him
>>71758556
>it's a Truman steps on a baby cat and kills it, ep
>>71762027
I'm just taking a whiz, mind your own biz
What if Truman turned out to be a pedo
>it's a Truman smokes weed and has a masturbathon whilst browsing 4chan episode
>It's the Louie Theroux meets Truman special
>it's a truman kills entire neighborhood out of paranoia episode
>>71766422
>it's a truman buys an AR-15 for home defense episode
>it's a Truman ODs on meth episode
>>71766345
Christof knows how to spot one
>>71766372
>Truman will never be able to watch Zootopia
>its a truman spends a sunday afternoon masturbating to candydoll sets and pretending to be a little girl in sex chatrooms.
>>71766592
>episode
ONE FUCKING JOB
>It's a Truman ironically shitposts on /tv/ because he has no real friends episode
>It's a Truman wakes up at 7AM to play Dark Souls all day and then masturbates to h-manga all night episode
>>71759203
Spotted the cuck
>its a truman does dxm and his soul leaves his body episode
>it's a Truman episode
>its at Truman lies to his parents about filling out a single job application episode
>its a truman episode where he becomes a true man
>>71766954
>it's a Truman hasn't been able to find LSD for months and feels like he's wasting this part of his life because he can't trip
>>71767037
>it's a Truman vs Falsman episode
>>71763723
Are you aware of any kind of doctor prescribed medication for something like this, because I legitimately have this problem.
>>71767037
>it's a truman bests his father in a combat to the death and ritualistically eats his heart episode
>it's a Truman makes dinner and fantasizes about becoming famous for something and pretends he's being interviewed by Conan and Vanessa Hudgens is there and he runs through the interview in his head and says aloud all the witty things he would say to win over the audience episode
There's too many of those
>>71758556
>it's a truman sets a church on fire because he is angry at god for taking his father episode
>it's a truman tries anal with his wife episode
>it's a truman hates the outside world and decides to go back into the dome episode
>it's a Truman successfully eliminates all the Jews in the dome episode
Did this movie make anyone else paranoid that their life is being filmed at all times for other people's amusement? That everyone in your family is an actor who is just playing their role?
I was paranoid for a long time when I first saw this movie.
>this thread
" I have given Truman the chance to lead a normal life. The world, the place you live in, is the sick place. Seahaven is the way the world should be."
>its a Truman accidentally kills a prostitute and then dissolves her body in acid episode
>It's a Truman recreates the plane scene from TDKR episode
Just how bad is it out there?
People are still watching TV in cafe. There is still Japan. How bad can it be?
>It's a Truman waits until everyone is asleep at 3am and proceeds to walk to his garage, grab a spade, and kill the neighbours cat before sneaking back into bed like nothing happened
>it's a Truman fucks up his chance with a pretty girl and then she starts dating a black guy episode.
>>71759203
I used to, but I've noticed lately that my piss stream hitting the bowl and the water is too strong and tiny spatters are coming out of the toilet and onto the fucking floor. I thought for a while I lost my ability to aim and was just somehow spraying piss everywhere, but my piss stream is fine.
>>71759203
I always stand in public, don't want my bottom touching the dirty as fuck toilet seat.
At home I always sit down, because why the fuck would you prefer to stand when you can sit?
>>71768786
how the do toilet seats even get dirty? I know that some slavs squat on public toilets and break them apart.
>It's a Truman feels the the crusty boogers that he's wiped under the driver's seat of his car episode
>it's a Truman smells his own socks while staring at a picture of Kristen Stewart episode
>it's a Truman has an itchy asshole all day episode
>>71767098
kek
>Its a Truman is alone in his house one day so he spends his time shitting, pissing on his shit, then shitting some more and pissing even more, building up a massive slurry of piss and shit that clogs his toilet so that he can call a plumber and laugh behind his back as he has to wade through masses of urine and faeces episode
>>71769324
>It's a truman clogs the toilet and proceeds to keep pissing and shitting in it for days before getting around to plunging it series of episodes
>>71769377
>It's a Truman shits next to the bowl in a public toilet for no reason and proceeds to warn people waiting to use it that "some asshole took a shit on the floor in there, watch out buddy" episode
>>71769477
>It's a Truman locks the bathroom stall door from the inside and slides underneath to get out episode
>>71769532
>It's a Truman locks the bathroom stall door from the inside and slides underneath to get out, but doesn't realise he slid through the shit he left on the floor and walks around town with a massive shit stain down his shirt episode
>>71758556
If you don't sit down to piss time to time in your own house to more fully evacuate your bladder you are the definition of an insecure faggot.
i have been sitting to pee for so long that i can't pee why standing anymore.
how can i get back to normal?
>It's a Truman puts a brick through the police station window episode
>>71769935
dont, embrace femininity, become the sissy you were born to be
>it's a Truman gets mad playing video games and steps on his dogs neck in a moment of blind rage then cries himself to sleep episode.
>It's a Truman says "nigger" under his breath as he walks past a black guy and proceeds to speed walk home episode
>it's a Truman cries after masterbating to pictures of his mom episode
>It's a Truman wonders why the mail mans uniform is in his bedroom episode
>>71758556
>>71759203
I tried once, but my dick hit the bottom.
>>71772045
Kekenstein
>It's a Truman smells his sister's shoes episode
>it's a Truman crawls around on all fours in his room while screeching episode
