![Bu-jZ_DCcAAE8rP[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ytSRtA4.jpg "Bu-jZ_DCcAAE8rP[1].jpg")
>Middle school sleepover
>Watching uncensored Comedy Central standup and professional dodgeball on cable
>Girls Gone Wild commercial comes on
>Friends yell "HAND CHECK, HAND CHECK"
>Everyone raises their hands up, laughing
>Do it and pretend to laugh along but don't get it
Did anyone else know this feel?
I was watching TV with my oldest cousin one time and suddenly she stood up and unzipped her pants and lowered it so that i could see her underwear but then she quickly closed it again and i was like WTF why didn't you put it all the way down
Also i used to massage her feet often when we would sit next to each other
Cable?
Fucking rich amerikan pig
>>71380657
>you will never hear those steel drums play again on late night TV
>>71380749
It was my rich friend, not me.
that HAND CHECK mess has to be the gayest shit i've ever read
you could have been having a good circlejerk or circle suck off if you were really straight guys
>>71380822
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rYRPsjhHb8I
>>71380657
>see GGW commercials late a night
>get really horny
>sneak into dad's study to look at porn
>start jacking off
>dad walks in
>GET OUT I'M CHANGING
>remember it's his study and not my bedroom
>.....................
>show you're watching ends
>the following is a paid advertisement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkZPhJ-mKXE
>you will never know what happened the night before
scrambled porn channel would get sound on weekend nights when it was late.
>watch GGW ad most nights
>As Told By Ginger comes on right after it ends at 5 am
>watching GGW ad at middle school sleepover
>make them turn on As Told By Ginger
>they ask how I know it's on
>have to reveal this is a regular thing for me
>watch As Told By Ginger with bros
What a nice memory.
>>71381031
>As Told By Ginger
damn so that's where i developed a ginger fetish!
these jews have been brainwashing my penis for years now
>>71380657
>that part when the titties drop super jiggly & the ggw logo covers them but you can still see the jiggly
so many loads have been dropped to that bitch she had the best tits i've ever seen, even till this day.
>>71380938
Well, did you finish? C'mon, champ.
HBO or Cinemax would sometimes give a free trial weekend. i would look at TV Guide channel to see anything sex related. i Taped a softcore porn movie that was terrible but shows boobs. use that tape quite a bit. whenever other trials or soft core movies would come out i would add them to teh tape. also had taped the Girls Gone Wild comercials on there. I had made my own shittty compilation porn and bonerjams '03
A GGW commercial gave me my first real boner and it kept me up almost the entire night because it wouldn't go away and was starting to hurt and my heart was beating irregularly fast.
>>71380657
>watching Seinfeld on TBS
>this comes on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW3WWCXDT_0
I fapped so many fucking times to this commercial
i jacked off under the blanket when me and my friends were watching some soft-porn on cinamax back in grade school.
>i think they knew
i wonder how many of those girls were underage
>wake up at 3 am in the morning to feel good down below while watching these
>they never get naked
>>71381178
>Pre 2010 PC era
Probably all of them senpai
I miss the 00s. They sucked but were better than now.
>internet hadn't taken over IRL yet
>4chan was more fun/innocent/usable
>the internet was in general
>normies still got outside
>still actually watched TV
>emo boys did androgyny better than trannies/genderfluid types did now
Also the Dubya-era Republicans were horrible, but they were better for culture because of course old white guys in power justified the "counterculture", kinda. It's why I think things are so off in the 2010s when it's the opposite.I also miss my youthful optimism.
Anyone else remember those "sounds of the 60's" infomercials?
>at an 8th grade party with cool popular kids
>someone suggests we all watch this cool new horror movie on pay per view called saw
>we asks his parents if we can order it and they say yes and order us pizza
>pizza gets there
>we all pile into the living room and turn off the lights
>watch the movie
>after it finishes we're all super paranoid scary pigface is going to kidnap us and make us cut off our feet
>after fucking around we go to sleep
>some asshole starts laughing like the puppet does
>i start chimping out
>started wacking my pillow around in the dark
>hit one guy in the leg who was trying to go turn on the lights
>awkwardly apologize
>"geez anon i was only kidding you retard"
>mfw that was the last sleepover party i got invited to
>>71380972
I watched this as a little boy in Mexico and this was my perception of all Americans
>>71380852
this
>>71381173
You didn't jerk off your friends, too?
how rude
>>71381243
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE
>>71381263
Cute snug
>>71381178
Why, though? There's no reason to give a shit
>13 or 14
>jerking off to one of those latenight sexy hotline infomercials that have the babes posing in bikinis
>mom walks in
>does a 180
>walks out
>>71380972
>That fucking omelette
degenerates
>be poor
>only good TV channel around 2005-2008 was UPN around 10
>even then only showed My Wife and Kids and Bernie Mac for 2 hours
>tfw had to sit through nigger sitcoms and then South Park came on for an hour
>we now return to Real Sex
>>71381288
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlHfrp8XU30
>>71380657
>professional dodgeball
>sick at home
>tfw this would come on while you're watching A Pup Named Scooby Doo on Cartoon Network
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4rSxQHGSQI
>roughly junior high
>friend is over, staying up late
>bored and browsing through the guide
>see "Shop Erotica", change to that channel right away
>it's just an infomercial for a blender
>we start making jokes about how funny it would be to tell somebody this was called "shop erotica" and then just play the sound to them
>the blender buzzing, everyone commenting on the taste/texture of the samples they passed out
>have hearty chuckles
Did anyone watch Howard Stern SHow on E! with blurred out nude pornstars and strippers and beetlejuice?
>>71381243
did anyone ever actually buy this?
>>71380657
>summertime
>staying up late to watch the GGW infomercial
>80-90% of a 30 minute infomercial is the same 2 minute ad repeated with that faggot Francis or some shitty truncated teasing in between
>watched the whole thing every night anyway
>always kept the volume low with one finger on the channel return button at all times.
I was like Pecos Bill on the draw with that remote. Parents just be silently creeping up out the dark after midnight. I also always remembered to switch between two kid-friendly channels at the end so that no one accidentally returned to the channel and wonder what the fuck I could be watching on it.
anyone watch Bliss on Oxygen?
semi nude softcore porn
>>71381466
I bought buzz cuts
>>71381132
>watching skinamax
>have to be cautious because dad was worse than golden freddy
>constantly checking stairs and mirrors to see if hes near while edging
>pretend to be asleep if he is around
>he catches me, I get an ass whopping because its a school night
totally worth it
>tfw girls gone wild wouldn't even make me hard today
>>71381340
>It's a dildo factory episode
>It's a fully clothed tantric session episode
Comfy CD collection infomercial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZJSjrox_2s
>>71381457
that was the best also that bikini show on E! and MTV Spring Break was the best.
>hot college girls playing sexually suggestive games
>bikinis, thongs and g strings every where
>>71380873
God, that takes me back. I never have seen any of the real videos, are they online anywhere?
>>71380972
a little bit
>>71381339
Yep. UPN was all we got. Watching weird black people shows like "Second Time Around", "Cuts" and "Girlfriends" just waiting for the Simpsons, followed by CSI, followed by Cheers.
Also sitting through American's Next Top Model waiting for Veronica Mars.
>>71381500
Fuck you
>>71381440
>ywn fight with your siblings for control over the fusion chamber
>>71380657
this came on while watching tv with my family when I was in grade school, had to hide my boner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0EKpxYjfWo
Who remembers this
>>71380657
>2007
>start going to parties where I'm the youngest
>shit beer, shit garage band, slutty girls
>go into one of the rooms to relax for a bit
>sit on recliner
>lean back
>accidentally knock a stack of dvds down
>it's a collection of GGW
>take a few
Good times
Good loads
>>71381513
Thank you anon
Goddamn this thread. I'm not even that old, the pre-internet era wasn't even that long ago, but it feels like a completely different world and I can hardly even believe I used to live in it.
>>71380972
>Did someone say muffins?
Always laughed at Hazel with that fucking cigarette
>>71381440
i forgot about this
>>71381582
aw yeah
>>71381582
fuck. that thing actually made me feel creative. i played that and lego island all the time. my nigga
>2003~
>watching late night TV in los angeles
>1130 simpsons episode just ended, nothing left to watch
>DR SUSAN BLOCK on public access TV channel
>think 'what is thi--"
>its a sex talk show
>spend several weeks fapping to the show every weekend at 1 AM
>we change cable providers, never fap to the show again
Great times
>>71381500
We were so innocent
>>71381590
What a nigger thing to doWould have done the same tb.h
>>71381582
This and Carmen Sandiego
And Jill of The Jungle
>>71381569
Fucking Greg at 1:30
>>71381466
is the commercial on Youtube?
>>71381623
I remember finally managing to find a video from it online and it wasn't even that amazing even back then.
>>71381469
>like Pecos Bill on the draw with that remote
>always remembered to switch between two kid-friendly channels at the end so that no one accidentally returned to the channel
You had to have these skills to get boner fulfillment in those days, anon
>tfw watched Euro Trip with two friends one day when we discovered he had Cinemax
>hear his parents come up the drive
>ohshit.jpg
>I do the two channel switch and cover our tracks
>both friends look at me and silently wonder how I know to do this and thank me for knowing it
>>71381599
It's insane. I'm 23 and I'm just now realizing what a fucking profound time we lived in. As long as we don't fuck up globally, the internet is going to be around in some form for the next few hundred years. And we got to live through its blossoming. We were there for the first wave.
>>71381532
Yeah, at least it got better here in my market when UPN and WB merged and took all the nigger shows to the CW, while UPN was left to fill the void with a local channel called TXA21.
Still had to wait through 2 hours of nigger sitcoms for South Park though.
>>71381340
>>71381511
iktf
>tfw your parents are gone and you were hoping for HBO to hook you up with some good wank material but it's gross old people talking about their weird kinks
>>71381500
God I miss those pre-porn days. Not even the roughest, most degenerate hardcore can get me going these days.
What's some essential pre-porncore?
>>71381500
was already getting on 4chins around 06
>tfw GGW didn't get me hard then
Not a good feel tbqhwyf
TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeVybJmtMFA
Tfw first jerked off to the Howard stern show on E!
>>71381518
https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4642248/GGW_-_Girls_Gone_Wild_(megapack)_-_95_movies
all of them
obligitory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgVOBwj3ZPs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq-_njiJUtY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKt4WsWHIis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhVhRmRm9vs
>mfw I put these on for background noise on a regular basis
pure comfy
>>71381340
>>71381511
Had cable in Australia, back in like '03 there were shows like these on the Comedy Channel if you stayed up late enough, I think one was called The Wonderful World of Sex. And Naked News. Anyone remember them? God tier material for a 13 yo.
>>71381694
The Jenna Jameson E! True Hollywood story
>>71381697
god damn it
>late 2000's watching this shit >>71380972, the Power Juicer, Ninja Express, and NuWave oven infomercials
>tfw saw the sequel to the original power juicer informercial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43VClzXOvg8
>>71381752
meant to reply to
>>71381694
>>71381331
> not coming over and suckling your peepee
Shit mum desu anon
>>71381694
>Not even the roughest, most degenerate hardcore can get me going these days.
I wonder if this is a problem that plagues every generation of men, or if it's just who are bad off because we grew up watching porn
even i felt dirty wanking to this
>>71381457
I think Brooke Burke on Wild on E! gave me my bikini fetish
>>71381440
>yellow to black
the absolute madman!
>>71381694
Girls Next Door
Sex and the City, until you figured out it was fool's gold
Stripperella
Nocturnal Emissions
Temptation Island
The Dreamers on IFC
Skinemax on-demand at your grandparent's house
Cathouse
I remember staying up and watching Adult Swim, and I particularly rememberI fucking hated Inuyasha as a show- my least favorite on the network, but I swear to god I absorbed the entirety of it through osmosis by just leaving the TV on.
These outro songs still get to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhik3PTv-OQ&list=PLeq-k7w85rhs43T6_HvR1fAnqarIsDKCw
>>71381722
Naked news was fukin poetry.
>>71381666
Us paranoid guys, we have the intuition to know these things. Another trick:
Have that second channel set to something possibly inappropriate for kids, but significantly less so than censored softcore ads, like Family Guy or something. That way, you have justification for having the volume super low, but don't have to have awkward talks with your parents.
>>71381729
Tfw she had a camel toe on one of the shots.
>>71381773
Brooke was so fucking hot. But now looking back shes pretty meh compared to some pornstars
>2006
>Watching a soup opera with my sister
>Hottest girl in the cast appears in underwear
>Muh dick!
>Same day
>Mom and dad aren't home
>Sneak into room with sister
>Found dad's porn magazines
>First time seeing a vagina
>Sister wonders why does the girl have hair down there
>It is a lesbian piss porn magazine
>Muh Dick!!
>Same day
>Sister and I are browsing the channels
>Wander around the 400's
>Playboy channel and what not
>"I wonder what is the code"
>"I don't know. Try "0000"."
>That was the code on default code on those satellite boxes
>Spend the day watching all the porn channels with my sister
>MUH DICK!!!
I told my friends, which all had that same pirate satellite box on their homes. They thanks me for the rest of their lives.
>2002
>Dad got pirated cable including the porn channels
>mom slept on the living room couch
>I sat on the floor and fapped with her 3ft behind me
>>71380972
for real tho, I actually have this and its great
in less time it takes me to type this, I can already make 7 cups of fruit smoothie for my days of weightlifting and exercising
than I can easily clean it, and re-use it to make my favorite salsa for the upcoming Olympic games!
>>71381848
she got some plastic surgery done to her face around 2003 or 04, and it wasn't the same after that
>Watching ggw
>parents open door
>accidentally hit back button twice
Just
>>71381858
absolute madman
>>71381858
She was awake the whole time
>>71381852
>>Spend the day watching all the porn channels with my sister
you ended where it got good
>>71381858
fucking kek
>>71381813
I know this feel, i would alternate from leaving my snes or ps1 on so i could say that i was sneaking some extra game time in, and yes i would make sure that i was passed the title screen just in case
Who afterschool mexican gameshow sluts here?
>>71381582
OH NO
![tbt-7[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/G4SvUFG.gif "tbt-7[1].gif")
>you will never jerk off to scrambled porn ever again
ah the memories
>>71381500
Where did the time go
>>71381678
i know what you mean anon. my grandparents like to brag about all the profound things they witnessed but fuck them, in my first 10 years i saw the cassette transform into the mp3. just think about the crazy shit to come that we can't even fucking imagine.
>>71381827
Speaking of camel toes
> its an oz style aerobics palates episode
>>71381752
Kendra was always my fave, then the other one. Holly a shit.
>>71381440
>tfw you will never see this early in the morning when you'd watch Fosters Home after eating Mexican pastries and coffee at grandmas ever again
Tfw first memory of porn is a white couple with only tennis shoes on fucking
>>71381900
I remember yelling to my brother one night when my parents were out late "I SAW A NIPPLE! COME HERE YOU CAN STILL SEE IT!!....awww it's gone."
>go to mexican friend's house after school
>this was always on
>>71381884
And silently fingering her self in mutual masturbation
>>71381340
>that episode where the 3 girls fuck a male real doll while "Lollipop" played in the background
Taped that shit on vhs. Fuck.
>>71381888
>you ended where it got good
Nothing happened, I did not even knew how to masturbate. We learned about 2 months from that day.
>>71381949
it's thanks to scrambled porn that i learned what the TV settings for contrast, lighting, brightness, etc was for
>>71381767
It's us because we grew up with porn.
Why the fuck would any previous generation have these problems?
>>71381655
P U R E
U
R
E
R O C K
O
C
K
P A S S I O N
A
S
S
I
O
N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCPMLgTSw90
>>71380745
and now you have a foot fetish and fantasize about doing it again
>>71381722
I remember when naked news did a story on gta vice city just before it came out. I didn't have access to the net so that was the only time I'd seen footage of it.
Actually wanted the hot naked chink to get out of the way so I could see the game.
>>71381949
>>71381976
the sound would come on in my area on fridays after midnight ;)
Tfw use to type in non suspicious shit in browser like
beaver
Bj
Jordan capri
Spread eagle
>>71381959
I love Argentina for this
>>71381852
soup opera
>>71382043
Spread eagle is suspicious as fuck anon.
>>71381959
that or "clase 406"
>>71382043
kek I was just about to post something like this. Except those are pretty obvious, I typed in totally innocuous stuff. My friend told me he got good results with the word "Tuesday". I miss the Wild, Wild West days of early google.
>>71382011
Hey man calm down, I was just pondering out loud
>2003 or 4
>watching MTVget ready for action!
I GOT NO REGRET RIGHT NOWI'M FEELIN' THIS
THE AIR IS SO COLD AND LOWI'M FEELIN' THIS
LET ME GO IN HER ROOMI'M FEELIN' THIS
I WANNA TAKE OFF HER CLOTHESI'M FEELIN' THIS
SHOW ME THE WAY TO BEDI'M FEELIN' THIS
SHOW ME THE WAY YOU MOVEI'M FEELIN' THIS
FUCK IT, IT'S SUCH A BLURI'M FEELIN' THIS
I LOVE ALL THE THINGS YOU DOI'M FEELIN' THIS
did anybody have popups from certain websites that were porno?
like back in 2005 or something i remember going to serebii and usually getting a popup of like hentai or some nice stuff. i was stupid then and didn't even think adblocks of some sort existed
>DAE 90s kids? XD
I hope you all die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWtcE52LKgk
>LEAVE INFOMERCIALKINO TO US
what do you think they meant by this
>>71381959
>tfw your classmates are all Chads and Stacies
>>71382167
everyone dies eventually anon
>>71381694
i used to beat off to Desperate housewives sometimes
>>71382167
but this is 2000s kids
>TV in my own room
>for some reason the playboy channel was free for a month
it was a good month
>>71381894
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhnJzzeAdFo
Why is America so far behind in terms of game shows?
>>71382119
Last time I watched mtv was in 7th grade and it was all offspring, green day, and the Cranberries
>>71382068
I was dumb,i imagined they thought it was an eagle spreading its wings
>>71382167
>>71382197
If you weren' born in 1986 then you're basically a virgin and a bitch
I jacked off to stacies mom music video before
>>71382199
>brunette opens door to some stranger
>she has sexy as fuck outfit on
>she's really hesitant about letting him in
>dude convinces her to let her in
>EVENTUALLY it leads to sex
fuck man i feel that really got me into that sorta thing, i can't really watch straight sex, i love the whole set up leading to it
>>71382228
Kill yourself bro
>tfw Latin Lover comes on TLN at 1am
Real Canadian niggas know this feel
>>71382228
>he's 30 years old
>he still browses a Cantonese knitting forum
Your time is over, Grandpa.
>>71382265
>he's proud he's wasting his youth on here rather than being old
>>71382228
>he was only 8 years old when Kurt Cobian offed himself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ9nD2erPuA
I learned, I laughed, I loved
>>71382265
Hey Fuck you! I'm 6 years older than him
>>71382279
>wasting his youth
shut up gramps
>>71382257
suck my dick, you fuckman
>>71382265
Get off my lawn
>>71382119
this hurt, anon.
times of such troubled innocence
>>71382228
>tfw '87
i was almost cool, anon
>>71380972
only thing I ever bought off these and it is great
>>71382319
you and me both
>tfw I miss this show
>>71380657
>stay up until after everyone goes to bed
>specifically trolling for T&A
>GGW doesn't come on for a few hours, let's see what else there is..
>Howard Stern, Girls Next Door, Showgirls, all 50 American Pies, uncensored rap videos, etc.
>eyes bulging out of my head trying to somehow see through the blur on Holly Madison's tits
>>71382319
>>71382335
Nah you guys are cool.
>>71382374
FUCK YOU
>>71382342
it was pretty good. scrubs girl is qt
>>71382385
What the fuck did you say about me, you cis rapist? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in gender studies, and I've been involved in numerous public raids on 4chan, and I have banned over 300 misogynist shits. I am trained in not citing my sources and I'm the top land whale in the entire Tumblr army. You're nothing to me but another trigger. I will ban you the fuck out with butthurt the likes of which have never been seen on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with raping me over the Internet? Think again, cis white boy. As we speak I'm contacting my secret network of landwhales all over #stopgamergate and your account is being rustled right now so you better prepare your jimmies, sexist pig. The media will biasly slander out the pathetic little thing you call a gender. You're fucking dead, rapist. I can be anywhere, anytime, and kill you with my massive fat folds, and that's just with my bare keyboard. Not only am I extensively trained in being triggered, I have access to the entire arsenal of Tumblr, and I will use it to its full extent to send death threats to your family all over the fucking Internet, fucking patriarchal bitch. If only you could have know what raging hormone filled butthurt your little "clever" comment was about to bring down on you, maybe you would have circumcised yourself. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn PTSD inducing troll. I will shitpost all over you and you will choke on your own injustice. You're fucking dead, cis boy.
>>71381511
>it's a clown sex episode
>it's a segment filled with mostly old people
>>71382374
>>71381795
>Sex and the City, until you figured out it was fool's gold
I never learned
>>71382043
>Jordan capri
damn anon.
>tfw you thought you've never had reason to reminisce about the internet porn of the early to mid 2000s but that name brings all the names and google image search terms flooding back
Wonder what happened to those pre-tube site porn sluts.
>>71382119
where are you
and I'm sooooo sorry
>>71382287
kek
this cute girl in one of my classes in high school used to watch that show and had the guys sitting around her show our hands in a "surf's up" sign so that she could try and gauge our dick sizes.
>>71381252
Y-you too
>>71381900
I remember when some tuesdays nights they play foot fetish porn. And the footworship part wasnt really scrambled, just in negative. Oh my god, the fap of my life.
>>71381797
Fucking this. Are you me? I'm shocked by how much shit I remember by simply having the television on in the background
When I would wake up for school I'd find one of the 30 minute long infomercials for GGW and jack off to it
What's weird is for some reason I would never clean up my cum, I'd just put my cum covered dick and crotch back into my boxers and get dressed. I did this for years
>walked around my entire highschool life probably reeking of cum
Ayy lmao
>>71382485
Yeah I always came on the same blanket without thinking what would happen to it.
>>71382485
You and I both, bro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3lrhPeK6gU
>staying at Grandma's house for the summer
>sneak out of bed to catch Latin Lover on her TV
>10 minutes in the VCR turns on and begins automated taping
>all I can think is that it's going to tape whatever is on screen
>>71382485
>tfw did the same, just the underwear, when it became too uncomfortable to be in it i changed underwear
>thinking back at my mum making comments on hating to do laundry
>>71382457
I was a bit young, so i wonder how many crank callers the sunday night sex show got. They would have gone over my head at the time
I always got a kick out of her simulating things with a zucchini
>>71381582
I'm a dizzy daisy, getting lazy
With a hundred toes and a pickle in my nose
AND
I live in your bathtub
>>71382510
>This lasts [ten years], this lasts a week
>>71381900
Oh, Christ. Shitty newgrounds hentai games and scrambled porn defined my high school years.
Only reason i started masturbating was because wet dreams made me feel more guilty and was a mess to wake up to
>>71380657
You son of a bitch, i was just watching Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn on youtube and reminiscing about Comedy Central from 98-2004
Great shit man. The final episode was dark, the entire left side panel is dead.
>>71382475
They ran it for years, and half the episodes were the same thing over and over again. It's practically impossible for it to not get drilled into you.
>>71382342
Drew Carey Show was top fucking tier during the Kate seasons. Kills me that it never came out on DVD or streaming.
>>71381900
the only tv in the house that was able to get the scrambled channels was my mom's tiny little tv in the kitchen, so i spent my first pubescent years jerking off in the same room where my family's food was prepared.
IDK how my dad never got arrested
>early 2000's
>Wanted to see girls my age naked
>google searched "naked 13 year olds" all the time
>>71382261
>watching the score
>talking about nfl
>some guy reading statistics
>other guy goes
>statistics are like TLN on a Saturday night
>they show a lot, but they don't show everything
>ywn be constantly bombarded by Miss Cleo as you just try to watch USA up all night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH DUCKMAN
>mfw I was never ever caught jerking off
BOW
FLEX
>>71382593
I remember other Adult Swim shit too that nobody liked like Sealab. I fucking hated that drivel but I still remember all the characters and most of the episodes.
Same with fucking 90's to early 2000's Family Guy
>>71382637
>not watching dirty old sluts taking it in the ass like a champ
>>71382265
>>71382279
>>71382307
I fucking love you guys. Never change.
>>71382659
SUP NIGGA
YOU WANNA TALK SOME SHIT?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx1J2CzNnS8
>>71382695
It was the world that changed.
>>71381722
Erotic Tales on SBS was where it's at
>>71382672
You kidding me? Sealab was kino!
That shit lead to Frisky Dingo, which lead to Archer today.
stay up late, insomniac
https://youtu.be/MV-O8sEPazs
>>71380657
I still have the cheesy tropical music from those Girls Gone Wild commercials stuck in my head, I miss seeing them on Comedy Central.
>>71381339
>hating on old UPN
Fuk u 2bqh famalam
>>71381621
LOL Anon I would thoroughly jerk it to Dr. Susan Block whenever I could. I knew those were rare events and I had to bask in the moment and close my door, turn off the lights, and jerk off under the covers. Good fucking times. Really sad when she stopped her show but by that time the internet was beginning so I wasn't all that disappointed.
>>71382660
I like to think I was never caught also but I know after fapping hundreds of times and in the most risky of situations, someone had to have known at least once or twice.
>>71381243
does anyone remember a commercial like those for a soft rock hits cd? i remember it ended with richard marx, right here waiting
>>71382736
Everything is about white privilege and cucking. It's fucking awful
I want to go back before all this shit
>>71382695
/tv/ is the most powerful race in the world
![Fountains Of Wayne - Stacy's Mom{NTSC.I.T.MPEG2-LPCM2.0}.vob_snapshot_03.07_[2016.06.28_02.35.10].png](https://i.imgur.com/qLLxC1n.png "Fountains Of Wayne - Stacy's Mom{NTSC.I.T.MPEG2-LPCM2.0}.vob_snapshot_03.07_[2016.06.28_02.35.10].png")
>>71382247
That shit was hot
>>71382621
I would go into the bathroom and lay down on the floor
I did it so much that I pretty much trained my body, I had to lay down or else my childboner would go away immediately
>pavlovs bathroom floor
>>71382284
How old were you?
>>71382659
USA late night ads were all phone sex and psychic hotlines.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zExUwGDML-4&list=PLpNHXnkVsDVAWMC8BPVKaJQ5gghq2GXpr&index=1
Check em
>tfw you will never confusingly fap to Real Sex and Queer as Folk again
>>71381063
>these jews have been brainwashing my penis for years now
>>71382659
Ah cleo
>You Put Your Down Down And Thrust Your Pelvis!
>huuuu
>And Thrust Your Pelvis!
>huuuu
What was the first thing you ever jacked off to /tv/?
>Ms America bikini segment
>>71382756
>>71381621
>Favorite segments were when girls were fucking themselves with dildos, usually entirely naked.
An amazing precursor to free porn without any subscription services.
>>71381621
>Wait till 11 for the channel 13 news
>Lauren Sanchez is the anchor
I would shred my meat during the entire broadcast
>>71382291
Gee Whiz, and I felt bad for being 22 and browsing 4chan. At this rate i'll be shitposting when im 80
Yes that's French these children are speaking. And no, these children aren't French! They're American.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD9i39GENWU
>>71381440
i havent been able to find the squiggle wiggle pen commercial and that keeps me awake at night.
>>71382119
the nerds here were probably unaware of blink, that was cool kid music.
>>71381971
Did you learn about it "together"?
>>71381331
this happened to me quite often...
>look at the GGW website
>parents find out
>watching some porno
>door opens
>switch back to some random shit
>mom finally takes the remote and hits the last button
>looked up a bunch of weird ass porn one day just discovering the internet
>on my sisters computer
>they all find out
>years later get warnings from comcast about torrenting porn
I just cant catch a break...
>>71382860
Some random POV video I found by searching "sex simulator". Wish I could remember what it was for nostalgic reasons.
>>71382860
Probably some softcore porn on HBO/Showtime/Cinemax staring my nigga Evan Stone.
>>71382431
Those softcore sluts are gateway drugs. Seriously, my descent into madness started with a redhead named Nicole Scott. I was looking specifically for redheads because there were a couple of pale ginger girls making my pants tight at school. Then I found a softcore whore named Trixie Teen who I legit fell in love with (kek) and would watch those same site trailers for her and the other girls' linked sites every day. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but at some point I stumbled upon Brandy Taylor, who was my first hardcore. I didn't want to get in too deep, so I stuck exclusively with her for hardcore, usually with those shitty little wmv previews that download onto your computer. Somewhere down the line, though, I got tired of her, ventured outward, and found Gianna Michaels (as well as weird flash anime porn games), and that was the end of me.
>>71382659
that fucking duckman finale cliffhanger
;_;
>>71382860
The Monster House kiss scene at the end of the movie
>>71381243
I watch those all the time, nothing better to watch than 10 second snippets of Motown songs most nights anyways
Anyone else try different ways to jack off, i use to bend over on my knees and milk myself like a cow
>>71382813
>watching oz at 10 years old
>gay sex, rape, murder/mutilation, religion, racism, liberal ideals that don't work in the real world
I learned too much too young too fast
>>71380852
lol epic /b/ro haha
>>71382936
Wrapping my dick in a hot towel and humping the floor
>>71382940
>implying prison can be called the real world
>22
>Got a "real job"
>Paying my own bills
>Financially independent
>Still Miserable
They never told you how much growing up sucks. I was in such a rush to get to this point too.
>>71381694
Art mann presents, wild on e!, Stern
I would devise military level stealth missions to sneak into my living room and jerk off
>>71382813
Real Sex was fucking terrible
>should we get hot chicks and pornstars for this HBO show?
>no they're already on pornucopia, just find random females on the street
>find the ugliest girls they can and tell them to do it
>that one episode where the girls live together because they do some sort of erotic hamlet
>they're all ugly fat lesbos
Quick, you tune in to MTV anytime between 1999 and 2006
What music video is playing?
>>71382967
Totally going to do this tomorrow
>>71382971
oh, I didn't know prison were a disney invention
>>71382485
I just went to bed and humped my mattress through my pj's while I thought about what I watched. I'd walk around all day with dried cum in my undies. Did this well into college. Fuck the police.
>>71382922
is there a porn parody Evan Stone hasn't been in?
>pimps up ho's down
was so fucking scuzzy but i got hard whenever they did the audio voice over the far away shot of the cars when a girl would service a john
>>71382998
Hey Ya by Outkast
>>71382923
God i use to be innocent, use to beat it to the mtv show next, now some nights i can only cum if its some 60 yr old granny getting dp'd by two bbc and creampieing afterwards, oh and bitch better be wearing high heels dangling off her feet
>>71383011
The prison of Oz might as well be, but in reality prison is it's own culture with it's own rules and doesn't mirror the rest of civilization at all
>>71382998
Anything D.R.E
>never forgot about
>>71382485
For some odd reason I didn't cum for the longest time. I'd jerk it until that point and then hold it in. Not sure why...
>watched the entire 30 minute miracle blade iii infomercial about 20 times
I am the king autist
>>71382485
>>71382524
>tfw I still cum in my boxers
>>71382936
It took me a long time to figure out how to jack off with hands.
First had wet dreams, and then I would just lie with my stomach down and put long continual pressure on my dick.
Never understood masturbation jokes because they always had hands involved somehow.
>>71381694
booting up final fantasy 7 and putting Tifa and Yuffie in your party
