Was Voldemort a virgin?
I'm betting he was getting a bit of that Lestrange if you know what i'm sayin
It's highly implied that he was molesting Wormtail.
>>71232598
Nah. I bet he fucked that one malfoy guys wife.
>>71232565
There was thing going on between him and Lestrange. That's it, nothing more on the matter.
You have to not get laid for at least thirty years if you want to become a wizard of Voldemort's power. Have you faggots seriously forgotten this well known fact?
>>71232616
This
there it is
there he goes again
the coolest teen from tumblr
>lived in an orphanage
no lol
If the spoilers about the play were true, he put his you-know-what in Bellatrix. Unless they undid that with the time travel or something.
Bravo Rowling
If his cock is anything like his nose no wonder he turned bad. Probably pissed like a jetwash.
>>71232565
He raped Malfoy's mom to punish Lucius for his repetitive fuck ups
He was a chad before he became snakeman
>>71232616
Why would anyone want to molest him?
He was in one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King. Thats for sure
Lel memes
HOWEVER
i thinl we all know draco malfoy cried every night the summer before seventh year as the dark lord slammed his asshole, using muffliato on the entire manor so that no one was awakened from their sleep by the noise
>>71234259
>the stranger being any higher than shit-tier
>>71232565
He used to be an chad at school before losing his nose.
He probably was drowning in Slitherin pussy.
>>71234259
what does that have to do with OP's question?
>>71234183
Rowling should've brought him back as young as when he did the first horcrux but she's a hack and needed muh hideous villain to pull off a story
>>71234183
But he was a nerd that sucked up to the teachers and poor
>>71232565
No
>>71234512
Garbage question gets a garbage answer
its the circle of life, /v/
>>71232565
He cucked Draco, so...
>>71232565
didn't he live in hogwarts all year round cause he had nowhere to go? He was ratpoor.
>>71232565
Bitches love power. He had them slobbing his knob 24/7.
>mfw none of you know about Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Prepare yourself for some fanfic tier shit:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/06/10/harry-potter-and-the-cursed-child-spoilers-here-s-the-plot-of-the-play.html
>Amos’s niece Delphie gets talking to Albus, as they both listen in from the stairs. Albus is intrigued by this older girl with silver and blue hair
>They notice a black tattoo of a bird inked onto her back. Delphie says it’s an Augury, which reminded her of her childhood as an orphan when she was raised by the Rowle family.
>Scorpius points out that the Rowles are an extreme Death Eater family.
>They go to see Amos and demand to know where his niece and Albus are
>“I don’t have a niece,” says Amos.
>Delphie is now telling Albus and Scorpius that she wants to travel back in time to rebirth the dark; she wants a world of pure magic. She says Voldemort is the one true ruler of the Wizarding World.
>The adults race to Delphie’s room to try to discover who she is. In the room, concealed by a Parseltongue code, are more details of the prophesy—including the claim that she will bring her father back.
>This can only mean one thing: Voldemort had a daughter!
>Delphie finally appears and Harry, as Voldemort, pretends not to know who she is. She explains that she is the child of an affair between Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange
I REPEAT
>girl with silver and blue hair
>she is the child of an affair between Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange
BRAVO ROWLING
I'm pretty sure Rowling tried to imply he was a virgin, by saying he was totally incapable of love and everything. But fucking is about power and he was all up on that shit, so he definitely was fucking basically non-stop, he was all about toying with people's minds as well, imagine the pain you'd cause someone when you show up one evening naked, all pale, thin, snake-like, and you Imperius that bitch to get on her knees and suck your britcock, then afterwards unimperius them and just leave them in a cell sobbing. I think she specifically avoided
giving Voldemort any real sexuality though, because of all the implied rape that comes from that.
>>71232690
>theres one person posting about hp
TOP
>>71234978
All harry potter is fan fic tier shit you lit-illiterate
>>71235097
says the NEET loving pasta poster
>>71232565
Are you fucking kidding? Tom Riddle was a fucking Chad, he managed to make a fucking cult full of Chads and pale hot chicks while he was still 15 or something
>>71234512
He's just a autist that post this in every HP thread
>>71232565
Why would he choose to look like that just to be immortal he was devilishly handsome when he was young.
I re-watched the series recently and honestly I wish Chris Columbus directed the entire series. The first two movies are fucking great.
>>71235215
Only because they got casting right, other than that they were shit, especially the second one
>>71235214
He wasn't exactly the type to care about looks over power. Even in his prime, one death curse and he would be dead in a instant.
>>71235263
They were the most accurate adaptations of the books though. The other movies cut too much out.
>>71234208
Wormtail was friends with some pretty top-tier bros. Maybe he got off on corrupting him? And then he corrupted him too much and just kept doing it out of habit.
Also I guess judging from the way people spoke of him, maybe he wasn't as gross prior to spending almost two decades as a rat.
>>71235132
t. neet paedo
He was a Chad
>>71234978
>girl Voldemort will never seduce you into doing her evil bidding
>>71235215
The first two are literally the worst ones. How much of a studio drone can you be, /v/?
>>71235469
Why live
>>71235354
Books from 4 onwards were dramatically longer than the first 3, they had to cut shit out of each book would have been 2 movies each.
>>71235460
What one is this from I'm currently watching all of the Harry Potter movies I had only ever seen the up to goblet of fire.
>>71235519
The sixth one, Half-Blood Prince
>>71235354
>the two hundred fifty pages long books are easier to adapt into a two hour movie than the six hundred pages long ones
Wow, Columbus was such a genius.
>>71235556
thanks looking forward to it
>>71232565
It's implied he was gay and that Dumbledore made an overt pass at him while he was a student at Hogwarts.
His rejection of Dumbledore led to awkwardness between them which turned into mutual resentment as Tom Riddle grew older and eventually led to his exploring dark magics after having lost faith in his teacher.
>Scorpius emerges triumphant from the water back in the present day. But he looks around and there’s no sign of Albus. Professor Umbridge tells him to get out of the lake—she is now the headmistress of Hogwarts. She says he can’t get away with breaking the rules just because he’s from an important family.
Umbridge tells Scorpius there is no such student as Albus Potter, there hasn’t been a Potter at Hogwarts since Harry Potter was killed during a failed coup on the school at the Battle of Hogwarts. She tells him to get back to school or he’s going to ruin Voldemort Day.
A new Hogwarts symbol hangs above the school.
Holy Fuck, just call it: Harry Potter's son and the butterfly effect.
>>71235097
Harry Potter isn't good but The Cursed Child is a whole new low for the series.
>>71236600
>The Cursed Child is a whole new low for the series.
No every fucking tweet that deliciously big breasted slut posts comparing stuff from her dogshit to real is a new low
>>71234978
>This blond boy introduces himself as Scorpius Malfoy, son of Draco. Despite the kids’ open discussion that his real father could be Voldemort, Albus decides to stay.
>Draco asks Harry to use his position as Head of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic to shut down gossip that a Time-Turner was used to allow Voldemort to impregnate Astoria, Draco’s wife, who gave birth to Scorpius.
>He asks for a statement to be released confirming the Time-Turners have all been destroyed, because his son has such a hard time being bullied about it.
>Bane, the centaur,
>She tells him to get back to school or he’s going to ruin Voldemort Day.
>Every conversation in this alternate reality ends by people crossing their wrists and saying: For Voldemort and valor.
>Every girl at Hogwarts is hoping Scorpius—known as the Scorpion King—will ask them to the Blood Ball. The other kids do his homework.
>Snape lets him into a secret room where Hermione and Ron are in hiding. Hermione is the most wanted wizard in the world.
This is My Immortal tier shit.
>>71236688
>comparing stuff from her dogshit to real
She had compared Harry Potter to real literature? Post some of these tweets, I could use a good laugh.
>>71236804
How a man that has been dead for 19 years be the father of an 11 year old boy that is the spitting image of his dad?
>>71236848
Not to real literature, to real life
>>71234183
>Kills ONE person in an edgy school "massacre"
>>71236804
Snape shouldn't be alive, and even if he did, he would be a broken man at this point
>>71234978
>"I will finish what you started"
>>71236919
>Not to real literature, to real life
Top kek, I bet she compared Nigel Farage to Voldemort.
>>71234978
>Scorpius
>>71235598
the books are better
after reading them the movies are unbearably childish
the books, believe it or not, are much more saturated with detail and are quite enjoyable
>>71235874
yes lol your gif is perfect for how i felt
>>71234566
>beautiful on the outside, evil on the inside
>implying this is any better
>>71234259
>Catch 22 is Low Tier
>While 1984 is High Tier
lolwut
>>71232709
What are you impying
>>71232565
Nah, he's Harry's dad. The other guy was just his step dad.
>>71232565
Probably. Voldie seemed like the type who wouldn't lower himself to fuck anything less than a pure-blood, but wouldn't fuck a pure-blood because it would be a promotion of race-mixing.
