True operator-kino doesn't exis-
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True operator-kino doesn't exis-
It's sad but true.
>>69414635
He looks like he's about to pass out
>>69414635
>>69414608
That looks lazy as fuck.
>>69414608
>>69414635
how do i achieve a big bulky and muscular body like Seagal.
>>69414653
If I pull off that mask.. oh
>>69414653
This guy is still sore about that fiddy bucks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KlyHwnPqns
>>69414635
i can't breathe
>>69414635
oh god
Why don't we get any films about gruff, ridiculously overpowered special forces units that are played sort of straight? Something like Rainbow Six or Modern Warfare when it was good. They always end up feeling goofy instead of awesome. Sicario's the closest I've seen lately.
>>69417201
SS + GOMAD
how is this fat fuck a certified lawman and not able to hold a weapon properly
>>69414635
He's an ambidextrous killing machine
>>69414653
What happened?
>>69417450
>gruff, ridiculously overpowered special forces
here you go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo
Would John Wick count as operator kino?
>>69417201
Burgers
>>69417201
motherfucking birthday cakes
>>69417643
>I would say the same thing, just to be polite. Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Brooklyn. I was trained by the CIA. I was given the title of Operator. They take a movie “John Wick.” They have a 6-foot-1-inch skinny guy, whether he was gay or not. I don’t care. He had never revenged for anybody. He has never held a M1911A1 in is hand. They make him the John Wick. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.
>>69417579
Keked
Fire Down Below is pure hard kinography
Daily dose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc
>>69414635
>>69414608
I can't tell if that's awful, lazy acting or how black project elite operators actually handle their weapons.
HEY BEACH
>>69417835
You don't get to be elite black ops if you can't shoot a gun in both hands
>>69417829
Girl what you really want all night
Me want the buddy, make me feel nice
Boy what you really want all night
Me want the poonani, see for make nice
She want the buddy
Him want the poonani
And me know it nice
When the girls start to strut
you could look at her but you shouldn’t do that
Think about just that because her clothes are just as pretty
They’re not just to cover her kitty
Girl what you really want all night
Me want the buddy, make me feel nice
Boy what you really want all night
Me want the poonani, see for make nice
Baby the way you waik is so hot
Let’s have a shot of rum
Then I can make you come... with me
To the ocean
That would be phat
You can be my bow cat
Nice ital breeze
Bring you to your knees
We’re jammin
>>69417643
For sure.
My guesses for operator kino:
The Hunted
Thirty Dark Zero
Heat
Way of the gun
The man from nowhere
Your favorite John Woo movie
>>69417607
>can barely understand seagal
>random fight starts generic metal starts playing
>seagal just stands there grabbing heads throwing people to the ground
>entire scene is escalating randomly
>insane jump cuts
>nuke sirens
>what the fuck is even happening
>random explosion out of nowhere
>"i need a medic!"
>inverted filter face at the end
jesus everything this man touches is gold
>>69417783
congratulations Mr. Seagal. Is it a boy or girl?
btw whos the father?
>>69417764
who is that quoting?
>>69414608
>When you're laying down cover and see dirt popping up in your face
>or hear them say allah akbar
>or your armor get so heavy all your movements look clumsy
Seagal haters keep striking out
Enjoy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LCTDrCm9tk
>>69417950
newfag
>>69414653
Youstillsoreaboudafifdybach
>>69414653
Hey biitch are you shit posting here or what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1In78YppuA
>>69417201
How did he move so fat while being so hairy this doesnt make any sense.
>>69418788
>you know
wheeeeeeze
>it takes the
huff puff
>mature caterpillar
heavy panting
>Ok Steve is done for the day pick this up on dub
>>69419232
>i want that barbitch to dance for mee
>>69417864
its body not buddy dumbdumb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGai5Q-Je4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr_Lah_7sew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCuLY6GgQ2E
>>69414635
Is this supposed be a joke?
>>69419596
Punani means vagina?
>>69414608
Ironically Seagal really was in Operator Kino, but he got killed in that movie.
>>69419803
At least he got his Oscar for this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU1VZld8kUs
>what does it take, to change the essence of a man?
what did he mean by this?
https://youtu.be/Q6qwO53n3Uw?t=3m54s
>>69417607
is he glueing his beard to his cranium? his front hair look like beard, or dare i say it pubes.
>>69418788
Is this the movie where russian Tommy Wiseau suffers an accident and is turned into an evil robot?
>>69417450
>what is Elite Squad
>>69420017
Tommy Wiseau suffers an accident and they replace his damaged brains with Windows 7
>>69418138
tell me that s the real dvd jacket
please confirm it s real.
>>69417607
EAZY
EAAAAAAZY.
>>69417201
He looks like a goddam ninja turtle.
I'm ugly, fat, lazy, balding and a creepy pervert just like Seagal.
How do i get the Punani like Seagal? What's his secret?
>>69414635
What's wrong with this?
When you're so familiar with your weapon like Mr. Seagal and have the same size as him, you spin the gun to fit yourself, not the other way around.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmdJliwDmgc
>>69420126
>pissing intensifies.
>>69420277
This is great. He really is the grown-up version of "that kid."
>>69420236
middle aged women will have sex with anything that dignifies them with attention, its the main reason middle aged men get to have sex with them.
>>69420277
>"I've been training . . . the hell out of him."
>>69417607
The older he gets, the more you can tell how Jewish he really is.
>>69417671
Looks like he ate too many Krabby Patties.
anyone have the webm of him taking rations from the dead soldiers?
>>69414635
>>69414608
is he mentally challenged?
Is there a movie in which Seagal dies?
>>69421162
Yes. Scroll up.
>>69421162
"Executive Decision," and he only agreed to play the part of the operator who died if he got to say the name of the movie as his final line.
>>69417607
EVERYBODY GET UP AND ACT RIGHT
>>69421230
EAZY . . .
>>69418138
>photoshopped eyes
>>69417764
Holy shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDveWYXUCU0
TWELVE FUCKER MINUTES
>>69418788
>Hey beach
Why does he call her a beach?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VM9gMR4z5I
he's got moves
>>69421515
Is this the first example of a kino-musiko blend?
holy shit, how did we not discover this rare art-form before today bros????
what will the punani man come up with next?? sci-kino-weedcomedy????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxloUBCYuFM
>you will never be Steven Seagal
why even live?
>>69421870
Haven't seen that before, that's fucking hilarious. You know
>>69421893
>Serbia
is Seagal Posting the freshest dankest new meme?I love it
>>69417764
based Neo
>>69421985
>>69422011
You know I know
https://youtu.be/uVefQ69LF1A?t=26
>>69418138
>those katanas
>>69421988
Yes. Seagal has a Serbian citizenship now. He's a pure Serb down to his heart. He's one of them.
Serbians must be so honored to have a supermegastar like Seagal to be with them.
>>69421870
Makes you think
>>69421382
>>69422066
Madman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpr8oqyjKIc
>>69422076
holy shit
>>69422160
Yeah, I just read up on it. Apparently he feels Serbian.
absolutemadman.jpg
>>69422076
The best part is when he doesn't even try to answer the question and just says "You know" at the end
Just in case one of you missed his ground breaking exercise in advanced kino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU
>>69422076
He unconsciously starts trying to adopt her French accent, then apparently realizes it and stops.
What a true patrician-tier actor.
>>69422160
I thought he was honorary Russian considering he is friends with Putin.
>>69422502
Christ, how embarrassing.
>>69417607
EVERYBODY get up and act right
>>69417607
He really is the Tommy Wiseau of action films
How can Wachowski sisters compete against a scene like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b88Sf_eCgE
>>69422502
i get that Steven "the great wounder" Seagal doesn't tend to joke much
but this... this has to be a joke
surely
>>69422962
>Belly of the Beast
Yeah, I can see it.
>>69422962
jesus christ hahahahahaha
i love the sudden cuts from the body double doing those spin kicks to his flabby, red grimacing face waving his arms around
>>69423007
>Dark War4 months ago
After I read the tile of this movie,I thought is was Steven Seagals autobiography
KEK you kbow
>>69422502
what did they mean by this?
>>69417450
This, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7xiK-snyJk
>>69417607
He sounds and looks like Action Bronson here
>>69422962
MMMMHHHH
>>69422076
Christ he's so fat he's struggling to breath
>>69421870
Damn, I never realised how deep the bhuddanaychur is
>Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in the South. I was trained in Counter-Narcotics. I was given the title of Deputy Chief. They take a movie “Sicario.” They have a 5-foot-7-inch little girl, whether she was British or American, I don’t know. I don’t care. She had never been to South. She doesn’t speak Southern accent. She had never been a reserve Deputy. They make her the Sicario. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.
>>69421566
The master
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_-MXLG_i-c
Name one man who could beat him
>>69423564
>he thinks arizona is "the south"!
laugh.png
>>69422076
I think the snorting noises were due to him sounding like he just got over a cold (the tea drinking is further evidence).
That shit was hilarious though. The breathing reminded me of Tony Soprano's breathing desu.
>>69417607
wtf? that has to be a comedy right?
>>69414608
>>69414635
>>69417201
>https://youtu.be/nkskuSXqUD0
His tactics are a little unorthodox
>>69422502
Imagine being Steven in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Kelly LeBrock, you fucking' fine, all sexy with your tight body and your horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have a drink with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is sip another Dom Perignon in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Steven and not only sit in that chair while Kelly LeBrock flaunts her disgusting wine in front of you, the favourable lighting barely concealing her greasy hair and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that uncork. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking haircut but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, KELLY LEBROCK's HAIR LOOKS LIKE THAT? because they are not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of asians and eastern european prostitutes and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Michigan. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the hair gel that's breaking out from her disgusting haircut as she spins the corkscrew around to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "erotic (for that what she calls it)" uncorking, uncorking that she worked so hard for with Sommelier's in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could snatch every mother fucker birthday in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Steven. You're not going to lose your future Musical career over this. Just bear it. Drink the wine and bear it.
>>69423564
arizona and el paso, texas aren't exactly what you would call "the south"
>>69419803
>but he got killed in that movie.
You piece of shit, I was just about to watch that in kino klass
Steven Seagal was one of the most outstanding warriors this country has ever produced. He was brilliant and outstanding in every way. And he was a good man too. Humanitarian man, man of wit, of wicked sense of humor.
He joined the CIA. After that, his ideas, methods, have become unsound...
Now he's crossed to Russia with his Slavic fans, who worship the man like a god, and follow every order however ridiculous.
Because there's a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil.The good does not always triumph. Every man has got a breaking point. You and I have. Steve Seagal has reached his. And very obviously, he has gone insane
Your mission is to proceed up to Moscow in a charter flight. Pick up Lord Stevens path at the Red Square, follow it, learn what you can along the way.
When you find the God, infiltrate his fans by whatever means available and terminate the Stevens career.
>>69417201
>>69414635
>>69414608
i think he's a really accurate representation of the tacticool audiance that is watching those movies
>>69420263
casings eject on to your face
>>69421870
>that burp
>>69422502
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH???
>>69424439
is this the heart of darkness
>>69425466
True operator-wino
>>69417450
Alright this post made me download Sicario, gonna watch it now.
Don't disapoint me, anon.
>>69425625
>white female and black man leading actors
Are you baiting me in to watching some cuck flick?
>>69419803
this movie is pretty based btw
>>69417201
His bullet proof vest is like bib.
>>69417607
that escalated quickly
>>69418788
Oh hey tommy
>>69422962
>those fucking handslaps
Heres that Inifinity i was tellin you about
Amazing longslide widebody got almost 15 rounds very accurate spectaccurate
isnt that amazing?
truly a god among men
>>69425979
The white female gets treated like shit throughout most of the film and the black man is friendzoned. Don't jump to conclusions so quickly, faggot.
>>69425979
They're likeable protagonists who never whine about feminism or racism.
>>69414608
>True operator-kino doesn't exis-
Is this supposed to be a sniper thr
>>69426730
The most bad-ass thing about this scene is the second unsheathing
>>69418788 he's a french actor and they dubbed him wtf
>>69418788
he doesnt even dub himself sometimes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YXl5uh2CLs
This is one of the smalles *Burps* 45 ever made. Carried this as my backup my backup
isnt that amazing
![tumblr_lt2rdsTUvD1r24c10o1_500[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/AnQrjG9.jpg "tumblr lt2rdsTUvD1r24c10o1 500[1]")
>>69427113
Good lord
>>69426684
>>69427191
It's like poetry, every gun rhymes with the last one
>>69422502
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>69422502
>maybe I'll whistle
>>69421162
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB16qjtC4Z0
>>69427230
>this is the Infinity i was telling you about
>this is the fifty i was telling you about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U
I can imagine Seagal trying to impress his fellow b-movie actors by talking about his gun collection all the time.
>>69427113
He was to be redubbed, because he was babling gibberish
>>69422502
there is some weird fucking shit on the internet
>>69417201
>>69414635
Did he films himself playing airsoft?
Does Seagal play videogames?
especially tactical espionage action games?
I know this is a meme/mockery thread but I had no idea he could actually speak nipponese fluently
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrDnZubrLYw
>>69427737
>when he speaks japanese he's a comedian
Wonders never cease
>>69427737
Well Seagal was raised in Japan and he claims to fluent in 8 languages.
and the fuckers had the audacity to make Tom Cruise the last Samurai.
>>69426824
>implying
>>69422502
>maybe I'll whistle
>>69427844
Well, I knew that he claimed that but I thought it was just one of his exaggerations if not an outright fabrication. Now that I've seen this I'm thinking maybe he's not a complete hack fraud after all?
I guess he's kinda like Orson Welles; a talented guy with a bloated ego that's stopped giving a shit long time ago
>>69425979
are you 12 years old?
He's like an avatar of those 8th graders who play CoD and want to be SAS or SEALs when they grow up.
>>69421515
whos the girl, shes hot
>same webms for 2 weeks
You need more meterial. He has like 30 films. Go find more.
>>69425527
underrated post
>>69427821
>5yo black kid playing in a jazz band
>40yo japanese comedian
>30yo italian/irish action hero
>30yo jamaican singer
Man, any other personality that I forgot?
>>69428179
this, someone make webms of the scenes from belly of the beast or this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBnrJoV2mZg
>>69422502
MWAAAAAH
>>69418138
Oh shit Rob Van Dam is in this movie!
Oi! eezy... EEZY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg_oKnEmd1w
>>69414608
>>69414635
this is what happens when you surround yourself with yes-men
https://youtu.be/ysiqKk94XgI?t=43s
I love the face he makes to try and look intimidating.
>>69428384
>that's it for you poophole
Bit rude
>>69419732
If my understanding of the lyrics for "It was a good day" by Ice Cube is correct.
Yes.
>>69428345
Kek
>>69427391
>literally pays people to listen to his prattle on about guns
>>69414608
>>69414635
What the actual fuck...
>>69428550
That look is known as the "Mike Brady."
Post your rare Seagals
>>69422502
hahahahhahahahaha
>>69417829
>pretty with kitty
>strut with butt
I love this guy
>Protags are established to be hyper lethal operators
>They face off against an equal unit and get their shit pushed in
Any films/series where this happens? I remember Ghost in the Shell SAC did this.
>>69421870
Is he making the story up as he goes?
>>69427935
>she gets dressed for work while he sits in the living room
>he makes fun of her un-sexy mom bra
But yeah man totally the jews amirite? Goddamn cuckold films, like how am I supposed to not suck the first black cock presented to me when I am constantly bombarded with black men existing near white women. I mean the way he is just ignored throughout the entire movie when not being used as a chauffeur and how he gets his ass handed to him during his one fight, funding jews and their "superior" shitskin agenda.
>>69428384
What is it with Seagal and restrooms?
Which one of you is the fine owner of this collection anon?
>>69429201
>Seagalogy
>A study of ass
>>69428384
>Seagal Fan
>Good movie, but in REAL life nobody holds a weapon that close to you're face lol
>>69429285
I love these kinds of images. I think it's really clever how, because you're too contrarian to use Impact on a meme pic, you use the patchwork "newspaper clippings" style of ugly pixelated text. Very clever.
>>69429201
haha me
>>69429201
>the HD DVD
>>69419596
Holy shit, Segal made a song with Jimmy Cliff? Segal must really love reggae and dancehall.
>>69421870
What is the buhnature, you know?
>>69414608
>>69414635
I have never seen an actor care this little about what he is doing.
>>69429472
you can thank /v/ for this garbage
>>69429162
>But yeah man totally the jews amirite? Goddamn cuckold films, like how am I supposed to not suck the first black cock presented to me when I am constantly bombarded with black men existing near white women.
kek'd
>>69417835
it's like those Apache pilots, only the best of the best and are trained to do 4 different tasks with each of their appendages (hands and feet) and you had to train to use your eyes independently of each other
>"It took six months just to learn how to fly the machine, another six to know how to fight in it, and a final six to be passed combat ready. And that was if you were already a fully qualified, combat-trained army helicopter pilot"
>>69418138
>RVD
well now it makes sense
>Stallone threw a house party in 1997 both Seagal and Van Damme showed up. Seagal started shitting on Van Damme once again. Stallone: “Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left.” According to the full interview with Stallone, Van Damme wasn’t finished. He tracked Seagal down to a nightclub and again demanded they go outside and fight. Seagal refrained and again left with the excuse that Budhist’s do not fight.
>>69418788
he sounds like a text to speach software
Which Seagalkino is the most funnybad and easily mocked?
>>69417562
>not able to hold a weapon properly
That's over two thousand years old ancient Japanese technique to hold assault rifle, even the army is adopting it once Steven showed them how to do it
>>69430054
A good man
>>69417671
how is it even possible to get a body like this?
>>69418138
>mfw I noticed its Van Dam and not Van Damme
His latest films he's a sniper. This way he barely has to move.
Make a /wsg/ thread. Add audio webms.
>>69417607
I have watched this clip 3 times now. I think that'll do. This is the funniest shit I'm going to see today.
>>69427935
>IMAGINE
>>69430093
Surely the best answer, the entire movie is as hilarious as the clips that get posted here
>tommy wiseau
>the katanas
>snatching birthdays
>his deep voice throughout
>>69427935
IMAGINE
>>69430299
>>69430504
We get it
>>69417671
THICC AF
Cozy thread. Keep it up guys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27YxUnuXgY4
>>69418138
>forgot to shop his hand in
LEL
>>69430775
It's in his pocket. He's dangerous, but also casual.
>>69430775
I honestly don't get that because it's not his hand anyway.
>>69430729
Anybody seen CIA? Hehhh? I'm gonna keep coming back till somebody remembers the flight plan
>>69417607
you can tell that guy is trying to hold back laughter the whole time segal is talking to him
>>69425979
>>69427935
>>69417450
Jokes aside, I finished it and it was a pretty great movie.
>>69422502
Seagal posting delivers once again
The hurt locker anyone?
>>69430094
Obesity + Hormones balance problems (Real ones, not the tumblr ones)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXabeuK2PE
>>69421213
>Finally I have become Executive Decision™
>>69417450
Tropa de elite 1 and 2. god like action movies imo
>>69420097
>>69418138
holy shit its real
http://www.amazon.com/Sniper-Special-Ops-DVD-Digital/dp/B01CDT60CC
>>69431189
How does one become a bad man?
>>69427191
How does he pull the trigger?
>>69414608
Is this pure kino or more like kino disguised as a movie?
>>69417607
what movie?
>>69431184
Which are, in turn, exacerbated by obesity.
ANYBODY SEEN EDITFAG?!?
I'M GONNA KEEP COMING BACK UNTIL EDITFAG REMEMBERS MAKING A RICHIEPOSTING EDIT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqaCBDy39KU
Family guy was in tune.
Is this a normal gear and uniform for a part-time reserve cop in America?
>>69432339
That's what most Americans wear to mow their lawns.
>The No. 1 pick for worst "SNL" host comes straight from the mouth of the show's creator. Lorne Michaels revealed his pick for the worst host during Nicolas Cage's 1992 monologue. Cage joked, "They probably think I'm the biggest jerk who's ever been on the show!" Michaels responded, "No, no. That would be Steven Seagal."
>>69432339
Gear for wannabe operators/meme cops:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFWKhDM_j_8
Punani Snatcher in action
>>69417671
counts as subdermal ablative armour, tho
>>69432623
I think I'm going to start wearing two watches.
Imagine being this actress
>>69432708
the look in her eyes though, you just KNOW
Who the fuck profits off these movies? Why do they get made?
>>69432763
>Eastern European mafia
>Money laundering
>>69417201
Snatch all the motherfucking birthday cakes
>>69432623
two watches? WTF
>>69432708
that """actress""" is just a Ukrainian prostitute
>>69432708
SNATCHED.com
>>69432708
>That artwork of him with a guitar in the background.
kek.
>>69432708
ME WANT THE BUDDY
MAKE ME FEEL RIGHT
YEH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I
>>69432683
You still would be only a pleb, Steven is wearing three.
>>69423065
Jesus mother fucking Christ, thanks for the massive nostalgia trip.
>>69432948
>implying it isn't a long tradition of low-budget kino to use prostitutes for female roles
women in film are to be seen, not heard
>>69432708
Damn, Steven Seagal, you so fine with your obvious hair plugs, dyed goatee and hideous gigantic jiggling body. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me.
Kojima should have replaced Hayter with Seagal and not that drunk Sutherland.
>>69432457
Holy shit.
>>69414635
jesus christ
>>69433349
He's literally incapable of delivering dialogue. How do you even imagine that working?
>>69417201
they should have had him wear purple an called it grimace's revenge
>>69432994
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
>>69433349
How can you even hear him talk with the motherfucking birthday cakes in his mouth?
>>69433675
>>69433773
something like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KlyHwnPqns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM
>>69433607
It gets better.
>Another priceless example of Seagal’s ego was when he hosted Saturday Night Live and demanded that the cast perform sketches that Seagal himself had written rather than the material they already had. One of these masterful ideas, according to Dana Carvey, involved Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.
>Lorne Michaels spent hours explaining to Seagal that the concept wasn’t funny nor even if they made a rape sketch funny, they would never be allowed to put that scene on the air, but Seagal thought it was comedy gold.
>>69434022
I would pay to see this
>>69434022
>muh rape
based seagal
How would you rate this Punani?
>>69434022
This is proof that Seagal is a true visionairy. Rather than trying to pander to the audience he wants to express himself in a unique fashion that is not bound by the limitations of what society deems "right" or "funny".
Truly a kinographer at work.
>>69432948
What's the difference?
>>69422502
Now this is buddha nature
>>69417607
Woah, does Seagal know aikido or somethin? What a badass.
>>69414608
Requesting a smug Seagal pepe
>>69434022
They really should have filmed that.
>>69434022
More classic Seagal.
>"One day an executive walked into Seagal's trailer and found Hollywood's reigning manly man... weeping. 'Oh, I'm reading this script,' Seagal explained, still misty. 'It's the most incredible script I've ever read.'
>'That's fantastic,' the executive said, 'Who wrote it?'
>Seagal didn't miss a beat. 'I did,' he replied."
>>69417764
I wish I was paid to train for 3 gun. This video makes me hard.
>>69427191
You made me laugh. Good job
>>69417607
send help im dying here
>>69434383
Such humility and grace, a true buddhist.
>>69434022
>Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.
My fucking sides
>>69434146
Can somebody post "the cook" webm, plz?
It's been ages since a thread has made me laugh this hard, this is amazing
>>69434022
There are comedians who'd get away with that though.
>>69417607
Seagal could play an ancient Chinese warlord with that beard.
>>69434816
I could totally see a younger Woodie Allen doing it.
>>69434759
I know right? So comfy here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLQHJ54ZE5o
>>69429521
I think it's "What is the Buddha nature?"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddha-nature
So I just watched Kill Switch, what the fuck was going on with that ending?
>>69434876
so thats how he keeps his figure
>>69434876
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb676H0q5eg
My youtube history is just hundreds of Seagal vids. You know
>>69421893
>ethnicity
what the fuck is all this?
>>69428345
Fucking lol
>>69435062
It's horseshit. Jewish and Irish, that's it.
>>69429942
honestly I would have guessed that it took longer than that
>>69417201
Travolta's better desu
Oddly buff yet his muscle definition isn't too great. Seems like a lot of his fat is just really well-distributed, even to his calves
>washed up
>no one takes him seriously
>acts like he's on top of the world
>is a dick to everyone
>shits on those better than him
Steven Seagal is like the actor version of Kenny Powers
>>69435390
except kenny at one point was talented. Seagal has always been a terrible actor and a bullshiter about all his CIA training
>>69426730
What was the last guy trying to do?
>>69429729
>not /sp/
>>69429162
I see you like bait, anon.
>>69434319
He knowsaikino
I'm gonna snatch every motherfucker birthday.
>>69427113
>Screenwriter Joe Halpin is quoted in the book "Seagalogy: The Ass Kicking Films of Steven Seagal" as saying that "Attack Force" had originally been written and filmed as "Harvester," a sci-fi/horror movie with Steven Seagal and his men battling an invading force of vampire space aliens. After Seagal, Halpin and director Michael Keusch had delivered the finished sci-fi film, the production and distribution company decided to eliminate the sci-fi space-alien elements and replace them with another plot about a super-addictive drug that turns its users into superhuman killers. They called back a few of the lower-paid actors for re-shoots, re-dubbed the majority of Seagal's dialog via ADR, totally re-edited the film and changed it into "Attack Force" as it is now known. Seagal and Halpin were not involved.
Thanks IMDB trivia section.
>>69433867
>that groan when he passes the step
>>69431189
>JaRule casually thrown onto a windshield.
This is fucking gold.
>>69436248
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SPIT OUT MY POPSICLE.
>>69418788
Is this real? There's no way anyone would put this in a movie.
>>69436036
More classic stories.
> In an interview with Spy, Goldman says he had long known that Seagal tends to tell grandiose tales about himself. Late in 1988, a former soldier of fortune and treasure hunter named Randy Widner invited Seagal, Goldman and another man to hunt for treasure off the coast of Barbados. At that time, Seagal had been telling Goldman that he’d been a U.S. Navy SEAL. Evidently this was one frogman who did not take well to water. As Goldman recalls, “Randy was driving [a Zodiac raft] in circles while Steven and I carried the gear out to him. The surf was unbelievable, really tough…
>He started screaming and panicking and was sure he was going to die and all that crap.” Goldman says Seagal had to be helped onto the vessel. “Wildner had to pull Seagal by his hair; I pushed his ass onto the boat with my shoulder.” Later that evening, Goldman says, he realized that Seagal could not read a compass or a map. (Seagal describes himself as “autistic with numbers.”) With that, Goldman says, he totally dismissed the notion that Seagal had ever been involved in any covert operations.
>In his letter to the Times reporter, Goldman wrote that Seagal “would surely die of starvation if he was given a compass and a map that led to a restaurant five miles away.”
segal fites good handles weaps good
>>69418788
Russian Tommy Wiseau. Amazing.
>>69435004
>Seagal's still damage controlling him running from Van Damme at Stallone's party
You just know the story is real
>>69436614
>Seagal describes himself as “autistic with numbers.”
what
>>69436036
kek
>>69432623
YOU JUST KNOW
>>69436663
Holy shit this is amazing.
He looks like the weird uncle who got drunk and danced at a wedding.
>>69436663
>that grill
>>69434022
Does he frequent /tv/?
>>69437034
Imagine being Chris in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Steven, you fuckin' cool, all badass with your flabby body and horrific greasy monster face. I would totally be buddy cops with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is smoke another joint in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Chris and not only stand still in the middle of the street while Steven Seagal flings a disgusting, badly bruised body in front of you, the jump cuts barely concealing his stretchmarks and leather jacket, and just stand there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that throw. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, STEVEN SEAGAL FIGHTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch his newest defenestration victim skip back and forth in time into types of continuities you didn't even know were possible before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of hoes and groupies and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the suburbs in New Orleans. You've never even seen anything this fucking physically impossible before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his bulging stomach as he sucks it in to flex it imposingly at the camera, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in his "stevenesque (for that is what he calls it)" fighting style, the style he worked so hard on with the greatest masters in Japan in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this street before the studio security could put you down, but you stand there and endure, because you're fucking Chris Thomas King. You're not going to lose your future blues career over this. Just bear it. Contort your face and bear it.
>>69436663
>that seamless transition from spasmodic dancing into a bow
Incredible
>>69437034
This isn't original footage, is it?
>>69432948
This was filmed in Bucharest, and everyone is just Romanians dubbed over
>>69434131
What about his Japanese daughter in the Gamera movies?
>>69437303
>he still can't believe the dankness of seagalposting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypMTI6FwCUU
It's all real anon
>>69437303
Watch the whole movie, this shit happens throughout. It's like the editor was on speed.
Also the movie was written by Seagull himself
![700full-steven-seagal[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0dIcgoc.jpg "700full-steven-seagal[1]")
