You ever heard of the saying "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" Well it didn't. I'm the fucking road, Ray, and nobody crosses me.
>>69208899
The chicken knew this.
>Do you ever see snakes around other snakes? Its in their nature to be alone. To be survivors, killers. Thats what I am velcoro, a fucking snake in the weeds. Slithering around, shedding my skin of all the bullshit of this crazy world. Watch your step motherfucker *hiss*
I never got the original joke until recently
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to the other side"
Where 'the other side' = euphemism/metaphor for death/dying.
Literally blew my mind when I realized.
Then again, English is not my 1st language.
>>69209011
>>69208899
It's a dog eat dog world out there, and let me tell you this: I'm the Chinaman
>>69208899
Remember that time he was trying not to lose his shit and started talking about Star Trek? He was a real character, that Frank.
I milked a cow once. That fucking cow. You wanna know what that cow did Ray? It gave me lemonade.
>>69208983
>hiss
>I was down there for days, like a bull in a China store - but I was more like a dragon, a Chinese dragon.
Really?
>>69209011
You're retarded, sorry anon.
based fucking vinceposting
"Some people say that a man mastering land, air and sea is unnatural. I say it's eventual."
>>69209011
I finally understand the joke now and engrish is my first language. My life is complete.
>>69209011
It isn't, its just dumb and usually used as an example faux-joke in place of what would be a real one.
;)
You are like a good television show gone bad, Ray. And let me tell ya, season one was a fuckin eternity ago
You remember how woke up Christmas morning and you saw that big box and you just knew it was a puppy?
You remember that feeling?
Well, for me, it actually was.
>>69209293
Fuck. Yeah had to derail it. Didn't you?
Cunt!
>>69208899
>don't test me ray, I may be a C student but ive been known to cheat
Some people say it's not the size of the boat but rather the motion of the ocean. Well guess what, Ray? I can't even swim. Never even had a bath
It's the acts of a man that equal to his worth, but the Scot bitch never saw it coming. In the end his whole life was an act.
We are all like baked potatoes, Ray. Waiting for this cruel world to split us open, lather us with butter and shove fuckin chives or sour cream up our bellies. But ill tell you what.... This potato made it out of the oven.
My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.
>>69209459
*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...
Some people believe that Holocaust didn't happen, but not me Ray. You wanna know why? Because I believe in the darkness of mankind Ray. I'm that darkness, the darkness of 6 million lampshades surrounding a single 60hz flickering lighbulb.
Casper knew this.
We're like fruit Ray, but everyone else are fucking vegetables.
>>69209560
what the fuck Raimi?
They say let sleeping dogs lie. What if I told you they werent fucking dogs, Ray. They are crocodiles and they are all around. And you are the dog. I am an elephant. And we are at the fucking zoo
Are these real quotes?
>>69208983
Kek 10/10 even though its out of character
>>69209140
2/10
>>69209293
1/10
>>69209335
-4/10
>>69209378
6/10
>>69209399
8/10
>>69209463
0/10
Tantamount to a hell on wheels, Ray. I say who gets to cross my path.
>tfw I always read these in his voice
based
Not even Nixon could water my gate, Ray.
>>69209639
Yes
>>69209560
lel
>You know that phrase, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps?" Yeah. It's actually supposed to mean something is completely impossible. You can't pick yourself up by your boot straps, you dumb fuck. Casper knew this.
But me? I know how to tie double knots.
You ever hear the old adage "leave 'em while you're looking good"? Well Ray, I'm the fuckin' Belle of the Ball, but I ain't goin' anywhere
>>69209645
thanks for the input
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, well, let me tell you Ray, I'm 2 hours late for dinner.
>>69209011
That's deep, but that isn't the original joke.
>>69209399
lost
We're like the dinosaurs, Ray. The meteor's coming.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
>>69209011
You're definitely overthinking it
Its an anti-joke. Someone expects a punchline and you just give them a logical answer.
>>69209040
I literally can't tell if this was a quote from the show or not.
We go through life thinking that we're gonna be the one, we're all stuck humping the dream that we can win the big prize, that we're the best and we can overcome. But I can tell you that for every race you win, every Bingo you get, you're gonna get a beak in your fucking McNuggets.
You see Ray, a watched pot never boils but ain't nobody watching me now. Casper knew this.
>>69208899
It's a dog eat dog world, Ray.
And I'm the fuckin' Chinaman.
>>69214166
To fuck the chicken.
>>69208899
Is this an actual line from S2? I only saw the first episode. That is a fucking terrible line of dialogue.
