>I'll have an extra large soda
>ice on the side, please
>double bag my popcorn please
>and an empty tub for safekeeping
>proceed to fill tub of popcorn with soda at the soda bar
>keep ice in pocket till i can dump it out on the seats next to me to ensure nobody gets them
>crumple up bag and toss over row
>enjoy free soda
>sneak out the back way
>buy a movie ticket
>clerk tells me to enjoy the movie
>I tell them thanks and to have a nice day
>I don't really mean it
Kek, if only the poor bastards knew.
>paying for any food or beverage at the cinema
I seriously hope you're not really this big of a chump.
>hide candy under my foreskin
>piss in the included shower
>talk on the phone during the movie
>ask for free water
>take of my shirt when the movie gets intense
>ask the manager to pause the movie while I'm in the bathroom
>order food to the place
There is literally nothing wrong with this but the cucks at the theater still get mad every time
>>69006799
that's brutal anon, how do you live with yourself?
>ask for mr. pibb
>clerk says they have dr. pepper
>ask if dr. pepper knows mr. pibb and where to find him
use the handicap seats even though I am perfectly healthy
>>69006799
>if only the poor bastards knew.
I know anon. I always know.
>>69007085
We will ask you to get out of them if a crippled person needs it.
>>69006799
Jared Leto, is that you?
>>69006736
>I'd like my popcorn butter in layers please
EVERYTIME
>>69007166
I'd like to see you try.
My girth is extraordinary. You'd need the help of a crane to dislodge me once I had settled in.
>>69006736
No one can beat this guy when it comes to pissing off movie staff.
i usually like to smuggle in a bag of sand and just spread it around on random seats
>>69007295
James Holmes.
I win.
>See black people walk in
>Black female in the group has a big hand bag
>They are all smiling as if they are getting away with something
>Movie ends and we go in to clean up for the next group of people waiting to go in
>See Chicken wing bones and nut shells all over the fucking floor where the black people were sitting
>large half spilt cheap generic soda bottle on floor as well
>Walk out of theater and they are stilling hanging around jumping up and down, laughing, and being LOUD.
>Ask security to remove them from building
>They get mad and say "This is some racist BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE"
>They curse and scream in front of small children all they way out of the building
EVERYTIME
>kick extra large unfinished drink down from top row
>spread leftover popcorn on my way out
>clog the cinema toilets
I bring a fold out chair and sit in the sound proof spastic box even though I'm not disabled. Don't have to listen to teenagers and memers, it's pretty damn sweet
>>69007553
>willfully entering the retard pen
There's almost always at least 1 tard using it, if I get bored of the movie I like to watch them wrestle and lick the glass.
>>69007251
>I'd like to see you try.
We apologize, ask nicely and try to explain things.
If you don't get up we call the cops. They have removed people by force a few times. Most people see the little girl in the wheelchair waiting for her seat and get up and it doesn't really come to that.
>>69007012
made me kek anon, thank you
Do you people actually do this autistic shit, or am I being tricked?
In high school i used to go with a group of about 10 friends and leave a seat in between each of us and pretend to not know each other. Now i don't have friends
>>69007807
>post terrible things I do at the cinema
>never actually done any of it
The poor fools. They'd never guess!
Shit I do to piss off the theater staff
>go to the movies
>ask for two tickets for Captain America Civil War
>I'm alone so they ask why two tickets
>I say for me and my friend of course
>point next to me, nobody is there
>they realize I'm talking about my imaginary friend
>pay for the tickets and go in while talking to my imaginary friend
>once inside, I start laughing
>I was only pretending to be retarded
>>69007640
You underestimate my size.
It would take more than a constable to remove me from the premises
>>69007887
>>69008008
you're a big guy?
>>69008008
here's a handy tip:
before the police arrive, smear your extra serving of popcorn butter all over your limbs so the officer can't get a good grip
>watching any type of media
Is that how the plebs entertain themselves?
>sneak in my BB gun so I can shoot at the theaters falcons
Release hordes of ants that I bring with me in zip-lock bags.
>>69007887
I know you're lying because Civil War isn't out yet.
>>69008344
My theater actually did this one themselves during Ant-Man
>>69008249
Good luck shooting my trained candy-stealing armored squirrel.
I bring in my tablet and watch youtube vids during the movie
>>69007807
>>69007857
>Now i don't have friends
You're just like me anon only difference is you actually had friends at one point in your life and I didn't. We are like twin brothers!
I throw my own poo at the screen halfway through the movie
>>69008424
I've actually seen people do this.
>>69007887
I'd would do this so that I could have some extra space for my big fat ass. If it didn't mean I'd have to spend more money I'd totally do that.
I had to sit between to hot blond teen girls while watching Star Wars TFA and it was fucking hell. Them moving around and bumping my arm with their arm or leg. talking to eachother while giggling. I think they were talkng about me. Fucking cunts!
>kino ends
>everyone goes to wash up
>put a washcloth over the drain in my shower
>spend half an hour letting the shower fill up like a tub
The best part is watching the staffs' angry faces disappear as the walls fog up.
>>69008578
lel
>>69008133
And now I'm a creep furryfag. I wasn't creepy or a fag before I saw that image tho. Thank a lot /tv/
>>69007553
Is this real?
>>69008377
>be american
>>69008711
Yeah, that's how they get you. It's a slippery slope, no one starts out depraved.
>>69008231
I've read that some plebs actually still watch physical media and don't steal everything.
I actually still collect dvd, VHS and blu-ray and 3D blu ray in real life. I spend a good amount f money on it actually. I'm also very poor and live on the charity of churches and tax payers. I can't wait for anons to make fun of me for this.
>>69008793
>I can't wait for anons to make fun of me for this.
It's not fun if you're self aware of how retarded you're acting.
>>69008459
>>69007857
that's funny cause i'm a twin and he has friends and I don't
>>69008887
kill him and take his place
Watch the entire credits.
>>69009064
this
>stay for credits
>start to leave theatre
>turn corner to exit hallway and find that entire cleanup staff has been waiting for me to fuck off and has been peeking around the corner at me ever since the movie ended
now I do it every time
>>69007433
How do you think he feels about Affleck Batman?
>>69009207
We don't play those games at my local theaters. We just start cleaning around you and turn the lights up.
>>69007807
You're on a Korean image site on the Internet used for discussing television and film. Do you really think any of these people are normal? Of course most of these are real and yes most of us all are this autistic.
>>69009430
>>69009430
I would just ask for my money back for having my cinematographic experience ruined
>>69009637
you've got some really low standards for what counts as a tryhard
When I saw Creed, the theater was packed and they only had one guy behind the counter. Some high school kid. The Arab dude in front of me was freaking the fuck out in broken English and screaming at the poor bastard. "This take too long! This crazy! Who your boss? Who fuck do this to me?". After he gave the dude his shit, I asked the kid (who was visibly shaken by Arab man's verbiage) why he didn't have anybody working with him.
Then he farted loud as fuck and kids started laughing at him and calling him Shitass.
>tfw not the subject of humiliation but intense secondhand embarrassment
If that had happened to me, I'd have passed out from the stress.
>buy ticket
>watch movie
>leave
Anyone else do this?
>>69007433
Let me tell you something, I worked at a movie theater when that happened and people were so afraid to go to the movies that weekend that my already easy job was even easier.
>>69009934
everyone orders online now
>>69009738
Once you watch more than half of the film we don't give you your money make.
>>69007012
>take my shirt off when the movie gets intense
>>69010133
what a shit kinema
>>69010234
Not really I was on vacation in NY once and I had to leave before the movie even started. I was told sorry no refunds. I told them that the movie had not even started yet. They could care less. At least at my theater we give you your money back if you can tell the movie is going to be shit within the first 30mins.
>piss in the cup or bottle
>leave the lid open and in the aisle for people to trip over
>shit bag just in case, only used it once
>brought in a durian once and ate it in the middle of the movie
>>69009805
Chill out, tough guy. I'd hate for you to have to sweep around me.
>brought in michael winslow to do voice-over effects in Avengers Age of Ultron
>everyone thought it was real
>>69008728
Yes but only at nicer cinemas. They are meant as a place to take crying children since there are retards that believe that a 2 year old will behave perfectly during a movie.
>>69009430
Even with capeflicks?
>>69008793
You forgot fat.
You are also fat and ugly,also your hands drip some viscous liquid,not sure what but it comes from your body so...GROSS!
>>69008887
You are actually in a position to trick people into being your friend.
>>69010289
>they could care less
So they refunded you?
>>69007887
Got em good!
>>69010325
>brought in a durian once and ate it in the middle of the movie
Bullshit. But my indonesian teacher when I was at high school told me he brought a durian fruit to another school he taught at and it took months to rid the smell from the classroom lel.
>>69010986
I'm actually thin. I don't eat much. I'm cute not ugly
>your hands drip some viscous liquid,not sure what but it comes from your body
What ?? No
>Hi ill have 4 large popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 large sodas and 2 bags of m&ms
hahaa wow that's a lot of food
>yea well im a big guy (im 6ft5)
hehe yea you arefor you
>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for Capeshit 2!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it
>I enjoy the movies
>take shit in theatre urinal
i have a real one that still confuses me.
>walking up steps in theater to find a seat
>dude sitting down addresses me directly and asks "how much did you pay for your ticket"
>tell him i bought it online and the price
>he says "okay"
???
>>69014829
say ''I get the premium deal, I pay 300, but afterward, I get to fuck a escort on the bean bag chairs, then get a free meal (at a local nice restaurant)''
>>69014829
kek I can imagine this happening irl and you just slowly walking to your seat in shock with a cold sweat on and not being able to get into the first 10 mins of the movie because you're both confused and worried
>>69014638
>tfw i take shit from cinema urinal and carry it while watching film until it melts in my lap
>no one ever questions it because they don't understand it
What sort of towel do you guys bring with you. I've got a rad joker towel (batman) to try and trigger buttmad or debate from all the marvelnerds but no one has bitten yet. Sometimes i let it dry on the back of my seat
>>69009507
>Korean
>>69008887
connor
>>69015362
First day on this vietnamese claymation forum?
>>69008012
Source?
>>69015442
Legend of Galatic Heroes you fucking newcunt
Basically Game of Thrones : anime edition
>>69015409
I was secretly hoping hiroshimoot could bring 4chan back to its original glory
>>69006736
>Work at a theater a while back
>The Croods comes out
>Everyone leaves
>Go to clean the theater
>Go to back row
>Someone lined the entire back row floor with Gummi Bears
>Can't remove them from the floor, not even with a scraper
>Someone licked the bottom of dozens upon dozens of Gummi Bears, stuck them to the floor, and made sure they were so sticky that they were impossible to get off
>Had to soak dozens of Gummi Bears to get them off the floor
Whoever you are, I will always respect but hate you
>McMahon stur into theatre clapping feet on floor
>Stand next to entrance barrier and ask for captcha as extra security
>Tell everyone i'm a luddite and don't even wanna be there
>Ask attendants to empty my piss bottle
>Recline the chair which isn't reclineable
>Raise volume on pager in case explosions are too loud
>Make mini-calzones in my george foreman grill with extra garlic and mayonnaise and ketchup from the theatre
>Occasionally throw popcorn at the anvil station across the theatre
>Get mad when nobody compliments my sleeveless turtleneck/cape combo
>Staying until the start of the next movie
>Take pictures with the entire staff
>Wipe feet before leaving the building
>>69015488
Tbh meta ironic alternative comedy 4chan is better than rundum edgy 4chan
Been here for almost 10 years now and while I miss the old 4chan , neo-4chan isn't that bad.
We're still miles ahead of every other forum when it comes to humour and general intelligence of the posters.
I've said it a million times before , if the average 4chan poster got over his anxiety and stopped shitposting and used the knowledge he's accumulated through constant lurking and arguing he'd actually be able to go far in life.
>>69008887
a supervillain is born
>They got rid of coat hangers at the movie theater
>Now I'm sitting in the hot leather chair getting stinky and sweaty
>I smell like shit now.
>They don't even have coin operated showers.
>>69011029
>get bro you ok? You're acting more autistic than usual
>you too heh
>Have a pleasant conversation with the staff on hand.
>Watch their discomfort mount because they're not used to being treated like humans while on the job.
Wew, lads. I got them so good.
>>69015010
that's accurate as hell. i kept thinking
>does this guy know me
>did he not pay for his ticket
>why did he ask me and nobody else
>did he want to fuck
>>69014098
>THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN
Every fucking time man
>buy a ticket for a movie
>see 2 instead of the paid for 1
faggots only catch me every once in a while
Why hello there, expecting to buy a large soda? Don't be. I'm the manager of the large sodas, and we haven't sold one in over twenty years. Wanna know why? Cause I drink them all. And I intend to keep it that way.
>>69007869
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
Me and my boys always get into trouble with the cinema guards for getting a little too rowdy in the shower. Come on, guards! Let the boys be boys!
>>69014098
kekkle
>>69007433
Nobody got to ask for refunds
>>69006736
Not really anything honestly. I will on occasion bug the manager or staff about taking/purchasing old movie posters/displays. The manager is real cool so he sells posters $5 bucks a pop and displays range from $15 to $30 bucks depending on the size.
I live tweet my thoughts on the movies while also saying them outloud.
Where does the shower in cinema meme come from? Help a newfag out pls
>>69022000
I honest to god have no idea how either the shower or the singles policy or the anvil meme came into being. They just did. There's no particular origin.
>>69006736
I sometimes leave my anvil home and rent one of those cheap ones they have in front of the screening rooms.
>>69007640
fuck you AND your little cripple cousin
>>69009507
>Korean
do all boards look the same to you, Trumpvoter?
>>69015596
>dat pic
>>69014098
like a boss
>>69021844
I once traded the owner of my local theater a birdhouse for a giant Mr Poppers Penguins Scroll that is too big to fit on my wall because I'm a stupid ironic faggot. The owner's batshit crazy, she put the birdhouse in the girl's bathroom at the theater.
>>69006736
I smuggle chicken nugs in and cover them in the free butter.
>>69014829
Don't worry about it my man. One time i went to the local indoor pool and swam some laps, afterwards i hit the showers and some dude approaches me like "hey you smell really good, what brand of shampoo are you using?" and i show him the shampoo silently and he says thanks.
I would say your situation wasn't that weird, he probably just wanted to see how much his ticket was vs the tickets online. He could easily look it up himself but some people are more direct
>>69006736
>frick
4chan is an 18+ board, kid.
>>69015483
>comparing LotGH with GoT
whew lad
>>69006736
>frick
The sodas cost almost next to nothing. You didn't "frick" anyone, or "beat" the system - you bought into it and embarrassed yourself at the same time.
>>69018712
I like finding out where memes come from
>Draw smiley face on the tip of my penis before penis inspection
>Sing the wrong words to songs while in the showers
>Only eat 2 of my complimentary deep fried cheeseburgers and sneak the rest home
>>69015483
thats not LoGH you dolt
>>69008711
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exRvC0jYOzE
Should help your dilemma.
