ITT: Times you acted like the Joker
>>68971331
knock knock
Sometimes I don't eat a balanced breakfast
>>68971331
Took some bread out of the bag and didn't redo the twisty.
I didn't wash my hands after I masturbated today.
My cat doesn't like when i pet his belly. I do it everytime.
>>68971398
MODS
>>68971331
When I stomp the enemy team in a game "GG WP ;)"
I once tore the tag off of my mattress.
Right. Off. Of. My. Mattress.
>>68971398
ban this madman
This one time i took the ketchup out of the fridge and just left it on the kitchen counter for a whole day
>>68971331
I made a mess in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti... mom's gonna freak..
I haven't brushed my teeth all weekend.
I once raised an abandoned kitten I found behind my house.
Bottle fed it milk, slept with it on my chest, spent every waking hour with it for a week.
Then I took it back outside and stomped it so I'd know what it was like to kill something I loved.
I never wash my hands.
This entire thread is making me sick
SICK
Once I put my blue shirt with all the bedsheets in the washer and everything came out a dank blue-ish hue instead of white.
I rang someone's door bell but didn't need to talk to them at all. I ran off into the bushes and watched the chaos ensue.
>>68971423
GONNA
>>68971542
FREAK
>Say "good evening" to someone
>It was actually mid-afternoon
>>68971331
I wore a shirt inside out
>someone tells me to have a nice day
>I don't
I ate some of this.
>>68971583
D E V I L I S H
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Brown belt with black shoes.
>walk around town
>take pics of cute girls
>post them on a nearby imageboard
>http://imgur.com/a/98ipg
I once ate pudding before dinner
This morning, Ipoured milk before the cereal
>>68971689
>cute girls
>it's actually one pig disgusting hipster boyish whore
True mischief right here
I didn't do the extra credit for my project for school
>>68971689
He's cute but those are selfies. Apply yourself.
I donated to charity but didn't Gift Aid it.
i did gay
>Rooted through next door neighbour's trash
>Found envelopes he forgot to shred
>Now I know his address
>>68971776
>falling for his devilish ruse
I just downloaded a copyrighted song from the Internet
HaHAHAhaHAhahaHA!!!!
I took more sleeping pills than recommended
I put pineapple on my pizza.
>>68971915
DOC IS GONNA FREAK
Put a pair of panties a girl left in my room into one of my dorm mates room who had a girlfriend and she still thinks he cheated. All of this because he ate some of my pasta bake and ruined my macros
>>68971953
>>68971387
Didn't wash my hands before masturbating
>>68972017
You probably bought those panties from victoria's secret but omitted that out because you've never even touched a female before.
>>68972051
That's a chick worth taking home.
One time I gave my cat 2 treats instead of 3.
>>68972166
One time I gave my dog chocolate.
Not a Joker moment tho, I felt pretty bad.
>tipped 10% instead of 20%
TAKE THAT, PIZZA HUT!
>>68972186
is your dog blind now? does it need a guide dog now?
One time I only ate the marshmallows in my lucky charms, not the brown bits
>>68971331
>booked my movie tickets online
>theatre is almost empty when I get there
>choose a better seat
devilish
>Relaxing in a submarine
>Suddenly Superman bursts in and tears it in half
>I drug him into thinking Doomsday is attacking him
>He flies Doomsday into space and destroys it
>Too late does he realize, what he's fighting is not Doomsday, but rather his favorite teddy bear from when he was a child!
>And inside, a detonator, destroying all his good suits with a blast of ink!!
MARTHA IS GONNA FREAK
>mom told me not to drink the last of the milk
>I drank it
>>68972239
He was completely fine and nothing bad happened, but I regret it every day.
>>68971387
>>68972061
I don't wash my fleshlight after using it
I unironically say "You too!" when movie ticket takers tell me to "enjoy the film".
>>68972388
You maniac
This is now a cringe thread
>>68971398
rude
>>68971398
MODSSSSSSSSS
>>68972492
GONNA
![IMG_1995[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4IIDL8L.jpg "IMG_1995[1].jpg")
>>68972107
DEVILISH
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>>68972220
20%? Since when?
15% is the limit, jews.
I always push my shopping cart to the furthest end of the corral out in the parking lot so the employee has to walk a little bit further to retrieve it
>>68972131
>le quirky buzzed head dyed hair mentally ill girl
That's a chick who will cuck or murder you.
>>68972545
Hollyyy fuccckkk
>>68971366
Whoa whoa OP said Joker not Hitler.
My roommate is gonna freak!
https://youtu.be/GsbIdSGwoEs?t=22s
>>68971566
I do this too, I'm really messed up
>>68971689
i-is that you anon ?
Sometimes my customers ask for their steak medium rare, and I cook it medium well.
>>68972545
Holy kek
>>68971837
>>68972545
I stole a balloon on Free Balloon Day
HAhahaHAHAHaa
>>68971346
Who's there?
On /tv/? All the time
>>68971398
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT
>>68972927
NOBODY
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>68972545
Best one today.
>>68972964
Where's Batman when we need him, this madman must be stopped.
>>68972927
George Zimmerman
>>68971689
What made-up gender is she?
>>68973037
George Zimmerman who?
>>68972545
>Someone literally spend this much time to get back at someone
Remind me to never get on the bad side of my IRL /tv/ friends.
One timeI only tipped 15%.
![220px-Roy_Brown_publicity_photo[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/nUsRTbC.jpg "220px-Roy_Brown_publicity_photo[2].jpg")
>be youngfag
>visit pornsite
>''are you 18 or older?''
>klick yes
>>68973106
I never tip at a restaurant!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
>>68972553
>That's a chick who will cuck or murder you.
There's nothing wrong in being cucked
>>68972545
This guy won the thread.
>>68973139
>type click with a K on purpose
M A D M A N
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>>68972545
>>68972107
You know this is the same guy, right?
>>68973251
Agreed good sir *tips fedora*
>>68972545
>>68971331
Just the other day I was feeling naughty while lying in bed and I noticed a tag. The tag said something like "do not remove under penalty or law" or something to that effect.
I thought about it. In the end I didn't do it, but the thought crossed my mind. I'm not proud of this.
apparently this thread is more on topic than a thread about emma stone as billie jean king in an actual film
kudos
>>68973308
ThatONLY MAKES THE PRANK BETTER
>>68973398
reported to FBI
![IMG_1997[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PxJ1lDd.jpg "IMG_1997[1].jpg")
>>68973308
But friendo, why would I do that?
>>68973398why didnt you do it
>>68973091
GOERGE ZIMMERMAN
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
>>68973448
I wouldn't want mother to find out. She would lose her composure.
>>68971331
When I was a kid I found a used condom on a playground, picked it up with a stick and smacked a fat kid in the face with it.
someone asked me to take a photo of them and their lady
i stepped back, asked them to stand closer, steppd back again and then turned and ran off
i ran for a bit and then turned around to hand the camera back and have a laugh with them
the guy had sprinted after me and he knocked me out and broke my jaw kicking me while i was down
>>68973398
People always make this joke, but the tag literally says "expect by the consumer." You, the consumer, are perfectly within your rights to remove the tag.
>>68973528
But I did not purchase that mattress, mother did.
>>68973550
MOM'S GONNA FREAK
>>68971331
>at Costco
>there are signs Do Not Count
>count them
>>68973528
>even mattresses are meant to be consumed by americans
Is there literally anything you won't eat?
>>68971837
Rip in peace in pieces sides
>>68973592
Vegetables other than pizza.
This one time I needed batteries for my computer keyboard so I took them out of my mom's TV remote and forgot to put them back.
When she came to my room and asked me if I knew where the batteries for the remote were you'll never guess what I replied.
I simply replied: "No."
I take medication now so I'm ok.
>>68971837
DEVILISH
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>>68972545
>come to work 15 PM
>say "good morning!"
>laugh to myself as their confused looks slowly turn into madness as they descend into insanity
My work here is done....
*cape swooshes*
*rest cane on my shoulder*
*sit down at my desk and perform work aduequatly but not quite as hard as I can so as to take out the capitalist society from within*
What can I say? I like to create some mayhem...
>>68973434
fucking confirmed.
Blessed be KEK the absolute madman
>>68971837
Ok this is just insane, I'm calling the cops
>>68971511
No you didnt you 13 year old edgelord.
check out all this high quality /tv/ and film discussion
>>68973753
>15 pm
nigga u work on venus?
>>68971837
Criminally underrated
>>68973824
Fuck I meant 3PM as in 15:00. My insane mind has gone too far, I apologize, this really was uncalled for.
>>68971511
The cringiest thing is that you are probably serious
>>68973824
That's part of the madness
>Step into the bus
>Don't know if it's morning or afternoon
>Only say hi to the bus driver
I never looked back ever since
>>68973900
>go into the bus
>dont even say hi to the busdriver
Sometimes...
Sometimes I just like to ruin someones day just because.....
Sometimes I'll raise my hand in class and when the teacher calls on me I say I forgot what I was gonna say.
They chuckle but they don't realize that I've planted the seeds of madness in them...
>>68973900
People where I live seriously look down on people who don't thank the bus driver when they get off the bus.
Once I told my wife I was driving her to a new buck's place about an hour away and dropped her off. It was actually a drug-dealing pimp!
>>68974107
One time.. I didnt prep the bull before he fucked my wife.
>sitting at work
>crumple up paper I didn't need
>turn in chair to face trash can
>KOBE
>paper bounces off the rim and on to the floor
>stare at it for a good 2 minutes
>slowly turn around and continue working
I haven't told anyone to this day. This is such a weight off my shoulders to be honest with you family.
>>68971733
now this is fucked up
>>68974091
Same here, sometimes when I forget to they make a remark about it, it's probably the best part of their day anyway.I sometimes do it on purpose
>>68974242
I don't like having to call out to the bus driver from halfway across the bus as I'm leaving to thank them for doing their job.
Maybe that's why I don't have any friends.
>>68974136
One time I succed the bull at his command in order to humble myself, but I never mentioned that I actually like it!
lel mods deleted my post
>>68974343
Making, having and holding friends isn't that hard, you probably have some old friends to get in check with again.
Just write them a message and invite yourself to a hangout and try to be as social as possible, truly understand the importance of being social and if you can't find one then look at it like you're grinding for XP everytime you do as autistic as that may sound.
some true psychos in this thread
>>68974449
ironic or not, declaring your reports is against the rurus
unexpected and poweful meme-synthesis, op.
well done.
>>68971733
YOU FUCKING ANIMAL
I store bread in the fridge.
I took an extra slice of pizza before everyone else could get seconds.and I didn't even eat the crust
At the grocery store I went to the back of the chicken shelf and got the chicken that expired last.
>>68971733
THE MADMAN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsbIdSGwoEs
Will my asshole ever unclench from watching this?
>told someone yesterday "see you tommorow"
>didn't today
>>68976791
DELETE THIS
>>68971331
I usually go around saying "MOMS GONNA FREAK" or "OH SO EDGY" in a joker voice when im boted.
>>68976714
I found a pack of chicken the butcher had mislabeled as spiral ham. As such, it was only $1/lb. It's difficult to relive this, but there was an additional $3 off coupon which EXPLICITLY read 'must be removed by cashier.' Truth be told, I used the self-checkout machine and I hope this story never sees the light of day.
>>68977538
You went too far. That's a crime and you belong in jail.
I ate an after eight mint
AT 7:45
>Enjoy your movie!
>Thanks!
Softly chuckled my way into the theater.
>>68972547
Maybe 20 years ago old man. Today, 25% is the absolute MINIMUM for satisfactory service.
>>68973753
>15pm
>adding three more hours to the day
Truly devilish
>>68971837
>this thread still up
surprised it didnt get an it aint me sticky
>>68978578
>screenshotted the "it ain't me" sticky to capture the music
>ready to post it in shit threads so the music starts playing
Soon...
>>68971331
TWISTED
>>68978998
FUCKING
>>68971837
>>68971837
top kek
We played a game in class when I was in elementary school.
I cheated.
>>68971733
I do it every day without even paying attention.
>in cafeteria
>just enjoyed a nice cup of coffee
>waitress comes over
>"can i refill that for you sir?"
>gooo riiigth ahead darling hehehe a hooo hahah
>"Ok... just say when"
>she starts pouring
>the cup is almost completly full, she looks at me nervously but continues..
>cup is full, a little bit pours of the sides
>still with a big grin on my face i say: "when."
>sitting at the front of the bus
>asked by the driver to move back
>don't do it
>become a symbol of civil disobedience
>>68973528
How do you consume a mattress?
>>68971837
Why is everybody replying to this post with amused reaction images? This shit is legit disturbing. If you weren't Anonymous I'd try and get the police on you.
>>68972051
yikes
>at a restaurant
>ask for coke
>"Is pepsi OK?"
>I say yes
>Pepsi wasn't ok
I told my dog he's a good boy. The fucked up part is that my dog is a female
>>68979541
>>68973592
>consumer: a person who purchases goods and services for personal use
I made a /r9k/ topic on /tv/ and got 200 replies.
Everyday I go to McDonalds, I mix all the sodas....INTO A SINGLE CUP!
I thumbs down every video I watch on youtube
>>68972964
MADMAN
A
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>>68980621
I thumb up everypewdiepievideo
>>68971331
I forced kiss a girl once in a party. She didn't like at first trying to push me off her but I continued kissing her and we ended up fucking that day. I guess you can count this as a Joker/Harley kind of relationship.
>>68979512
Nigga, I do that everyday.
I fap to porn without a condom
I stole my best friend's gf
>>68971837
I don't get it... If he's your neighbor, then you pretty much know his address already?
one time my school had an open mic in the cafeteria and I played my own noise music and idm. people were confuse af not joking
When I'm at a reception's desk and there's a bowl of wrapped candy, I usually take two in a swift motion so it appears to the outside viewer that I just reached in for a single modest piece of candy.
>>68971511
Have you unlocked your final sharingan yet?
>>68982084
Not if he's a redneck neet
>>68982084
Re-read it a few times and it'll click
>>68971837
>>68981175>>68981175
No...you raped her.
>>68982431
I seriously don't get it...
>>68982756
but he knew her, he knew she was going to cave in. It's pretty obvious when a girl doesn't want to be sexually involved.
>>68971733
Can you do anything right?
I fear for your future son
>>68971837I don't get it
The directions said to microwave for 3 minutes, but I did 4!
>>68983088
It's his neighbor, he knows his address already
>>68971366
Made me kek
>>68971331
Once I put my socks on the wrong feet.
>>68971511
>someone was either being serious or trying to be funny with this post
>tfw can't decide which one is more embarrassing
I always pay for my speeding tickets on the last possible day.
>>68971837
I'm genuine scared, seek help, Anon.
>call up mom
>tell her dad died
>just kidding he didn't
>>68984064
it's not that much less funny than most of these
>>68973753
>come to work 15 PM
MADMAN
>>68971837
Hello /r/4chan!
I fucked a girl I knew had multiple STDs
didn't use toilet paper after a shit
call the cops! ahahahah
>Best friend gets approached by 3 girls at Starbucks
>the leader of them says to my friend "My sister thought you were cute, can I have your #?"
>My friend gives her his number
>She then tells him to expect a text later that day
>My friend has been waiting 2hrs later
>I download the text free app
>get a # on the app
>text my friend as if I was the girl that was gonna text him
> Start little convo with my friend
>Ask if he wants to meet right now at Taco Bell
>He agrees
>I wait for 20 mins for my friend to arrive at the place
>I text him on my real # about if he wants to hangover
>he tells me that he's about to meet the girl but doesn't tell me where
> I wait for 8 mins
>I call the only taco bell in our area
>"Yea can you ask if there's a Jesse in the place"
>"Si, uno momento por favor"
>My friend is on the phone now
>"Ugh, hello?"
>"Jesse, now that I got you at Taco Bell, can you pick me up a nacho bell grande?"
>He flips and hangs up
Yesterday I told my wife's son that Santa is real, but he actually isn't.
>>68972292
>>68985494
DON'T READ THIS
>>68972545
T H E A B S O L U T E M A D M A N
>>68985494
holy crap that's so devilish Im going to have to do that sometime
>>68972292
>>68985494
S A T A N I C
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can anyone give me 1 legitimate reason why this thread is still here?
I rented Lawrence of Arabia on VHS and didn't rewind it before giving it back.
Last Halloween I gave out Kool-Aid packets.
Then I took out a razor.I cut little slits in each one so when the kids would dump their candy out on the floor, they'd get red kool aid powder in the carpet and their parents would beat them:^)
>>68982084
>>68985494
SAVAGE
