....What happened?
>>68695718
They took her.
EVERY
*heavy breathing*
>>68695718
Before you ask questions, how about you name one actor who could beat him in a fight
Keep in mind that he's a 7th-dan black belt in Aikido, the first foreigner to operate an Aikido dojo in Japan, and he also holds black belts in karate, judo and kendo
Mercenary for justice was actually a good film
What are some essential blues albums?
>>68695765
Well I'm sorry to hear that...
>>68695833
Van Damme
>>68695833
>Vin "ask me what I put in my car" diesel
>jet li
>jason statham
>Iko Uwais (the raid)
>tony jaa (ong bak)
>jackie chan
>>68695833
Chuck Norris. Holds legit black belts in like 10 different martial arts. (including aikido, which isn't a real fighting system)
>>68695833
Van Damme
Jackie Chan
Tony Jaa
Schwartznegger, based on size and fitness
Same goes for Stallone
Pretty much any actor his size really, the fat old fuck would be winded within 30 seconds in a real fight.
The only viable gook flip martial art is Judo.
>>68695718
a forced meme and spammed video
>>68695718
he never paid my brother, leaving him in debt, and I put the fucking Gypsy curse on him until he gets his shit together and pays his fucking lawyer
I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH YOU STEVEN
>>68696076
baneposters leave.
>>68695833
>Keep in mind that he's a 7th-dan black belt in Aikido, the first foreigner to operate an Aikido dojo in Japan, and he also holds black belts in karate, judo and kendo
And also an inveterate liar. He's going down
Has he ever not been fat and bald?
>>68695833
Don't forget the title of master
>>68695856
Songs From the Crystal Cave and Mojo Priest
>>68695833
>the first foreigner to operate an Aikido dojo in Japan
cuz he married the daughter of a dojo operator and gave himself a black belt rank
>>68695833Steven Seagal
I'm friends with one of his daughters and have met him. Talk about a fucking scumbag. He's usually drunk/on something, constantly makes lewd comments, etc. Thinks he's the shit. Likes to bring up film/tv he's done in the past whenever possible.
>>68696842
Does she have a brother? If so is he a qt patootie?
>>68696038
Stallone is literally 5'2.
Seagal would snatch his birthday without even disturbing his shooting glasses.
>>68696908
Yeah, but I haven't met him.
>>68695833
Martial arts milestones largely accomplished decades ago really don't mean shit when you are as blatantly out of shape as he is.
>>68696842
Why are there suddenly so many people on here claiming to have personal connections to Steven Seagal and why do I think that they are actually just Steven Seagal posting with a proxy?
>>68697043
There are others? What are their connections? Or supposed connections.
>>68695718
he got snatched
>>68695833
any average joe who is not a lard ass could whoop seagull
>>68695718
He didn't get the punani
Imagine being the underpaid European actor in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Steven Seagal, you so fuckin' cool, all intimidating with your fat ass body and horrific burlap sack looking monster face. I would totally be afraid of you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old slavic escort in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be this guy and not only laying on the floor while Steven's preposterous mass huffs his deep breaths at you, the favorably placed scarf barely concealing his 4 chins and wobbly neck, and just lay there, take after take, hour after hour, while he unenthusiastically tries to deliver his lines whilst being winded from having to walk 10 feet. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his awful attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, SENSEI SEAGAL LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his goatee'd fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been acting alongside losers and low lifes and later alleged Putin government connections for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Serbia. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his tremendous stomach as he hilariously flubs his lines, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "statuesque (for that is what he calls himself)" glory, the glory he worked so hard for with buddhist monks in the previous decades. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before Steven could actually displace himself 5 feet, but you lay there and endure. You're not going to lose your future street corner in St. Petersburg over this. Just bear it. Show your face and bear it.
Hey I was conceived after the Steven Segal movie - out for justice
>>68697158
True. I feel bad whenever I talk to Kelly. She always seems very lost. It's mostly his fault but also a product of her never really evolving past teen icon.
She's extremely nice, though. Arissa is following in her footsteps.
>>68695833
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0
>choked out and shit himself
>>68697290
What about her son and her other daughter? Do they look anything like their father or did they got lucky with the genetic lottery?
>>68697290
So now you're claiming to know Steven Seagal's ex-wife as well?
>>68697396
>>68697417
I know Arissa, have met Savannah several times (Savannah is Arissa and Dominic's half sister), but don't know Dominic. I don't know Annaliza.
Actually, I have met Dominic now that I think about it. He was getting dinner with Kelly the last time I saw her, and she introduced me. I know nothing about him.
I have talked to Arissa Wolf once or twice.
Arissa Le Brock looks more like Kelly, but built like a tank. Dominic looks like Kelly. Don't know about Annaliza as I've never met her.
Poor Savannah looks EXACTLY like Steven. She's extremely tall, too.
>>68697682
Poor Savannah. I can't imagine what a curse that may be. But glad to know the other two kids are doing well. I suppose they don't want anything to do with Seagal?
>"Action please, Steven."
>>68697886
I like how he holding the gun to hide his fat gut
>>68697993
It's a trademark of his.
>>68697886
>he doesn't do anything?
>>68697885
Related, Savannah.
I give Arissa shit about him. Whenever I bring him up she just goes with it and we have a laugh. They don't have a relationship as far as I know.
>>68698162
She looks like your average Spaniard tbqh famalaya
>>68698273
Maybe it's just me then, I dunno.
>>68695765
IT's "Dey took her"
>>68697194
>>68698162
She's not that bad. I'd hit it.
>>68697194
why does this always work so fucking good
Anybody seen motherfucker birthday?
>>68697886
MUUUHAAAAAAotherfucker birthday....
>>68698122
why do they hold their guns like that?
>>68697194
>>68695718
>>68696029
>Chuck Norris
76 years old
>>68699367
>Steven Seagal
700 pounds
>>68699336
he always looked like shit. Now hes just too fat
>>68697194
>>68699557
He actually looked decent back in the day. But then he got fat and really let himself go.
>>68699678
that picture is like 40 years old nigga
>>68699704
Still, he looked decent
>>68699742
fine, but I mean when he got famous in the early 90's he didnt look very good
>>68698828
cuz guns are heavy and carrying that shit for 10 hours straight gets tiring which could affect your aiming, but you don't want to shoulder it either, so you just hug to so your body takes some of the weight
>>68699903
Kek, he wasn't gorgeous but then 90s Hollywood wasn't particularly full of beautiful hunks.
>>68700147
thanks /k/
>>68695718
>>68700487
Which makes this the millionth time you SUCKED DICK.
>>68700487
You think you can post image macros and just walk away?
>>68700487
Well, I'm sorry to hear that
>>68700775
...because now...
>>68701611
I will snatch every mother fucker birthday.
