I'm so up to my neck in shit, I'm thinking about ordering a snorkel.
My mom once said to me you shouldn't cry over spilled milk. I don't, never have. She didn't need to tell me. You know why? I'm fucking lactose intolerant.Sorry this is the best I could to pls more creative people get going or repost old goat ones)
>>67686876
This "meme" ..... a shit.
>>67687020
I'm here to do two things: kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of ass, Ray.
They say that in the land of the blind, one eyed man is the king. Well, guess what Ray? I'm the fucking 3D glasses salesman.
>>67687020
The thing about shit and memes is this, only one can be regular in life. My pharmacist told me that once. The thing he didn't realize was is that we're all just like memes, we're shit. Just endless shit, like life is one giant Taiwanese stick figure drawing image board.
They say don't shit where you eat Ray
Well I just found out I've been shitting in the pantry my whole fuckin life
you have two things inside of you ray, the wolf and the sheep. you know what the difference is between em? Whoever survives the avalanche
>>67687192
You ever hear that saying, 'a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'?
All this time I've thought I was the hand, when it turns out I'm the fuckin bush, and you know what? there aint a fuckin bird in sight
How many episodes did you watch of season 2 before you gave up?
5 episodes here.
>>67687165
Kek
I hate rollercoasters, Ray. Never trust something that straps you in, turns you upside down, and forces your hands in the air. Following every slow ascent there's an immediate plummet. I never ride rollercoasters, Ray, but I'm not afraid to build one.
The thing about Pussy, it isn't the lips, the clit, the fucking hole itself, Ray. Its the smell. I've never smelled pussy and it wasn't pussy.
And right now, what I'm smelling isn't pussy, its a sweaty cock next to my mouth, and let me tell you, this cocksucker don't suck fucking cock.
Sometimes its not the milk thats bad. Its the cereal
Its like that game we used to play as kids, Ray. Crack the whip, you run around like a bunch of fuckin idiots holding hands and than the line snaps and somebody lets go, then you realize, you're next
You ever hear the phrase, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Ray?
Well guess what? The gift horse you gave me has gingivitis, Ray.
They say you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. I'm the eggs, Ray. Only there ain't no fuckin' omelette
>>67687393
You may have issues
>>67687317
Fuck off Redditor, season 2 is miles ahead of season 1
>muh rust
>muh divine reward xD
>whoss da yellow king?? '-'
You know how they tell you to never show your entire hand? Well my hand is fully hidden. Hidden up my own ass, Ray. It's up there.
My dad used to tell me to let sleeping dogs lie.
Well I just hooked my dog up to a polgraph and it's time for his wake up call.
I had to eat rats to survive in that dark basement, and you know what I did when I got out? I got a beating from my alcoholic father. And the lesson I learned is I was better off with the rats
They say guys like you are a diamond dozend. You know what, Ray? It's a doggy dog world and i'm the fucking chinaman.
You know what I hate about potato peelers, Ray?
They can only do one fucking thing. Peel my potatoes. They're a lot like you. Because the only thing you seem to be able to do is fuck up every job I ever got for you. Get the fuck out of my sight, Ray.
>>67687447
>muh strawman
Season 2 is objectively inferior to season 1.
Le epic trol confimredx D
If you're gonna act like a rat, I'll give you some cheese. But don't go thinking I don't have a whole fridge full of yogurt.
>>67686876
sad frankposting didnt really hit the big time after S2 ended
Never even lost my baby teeth Ray, that's why they call me little teeth Franklin
>>67687509
Does he actually say this? Haven't even bothered seeing S2 after all these threads but something with rats did happen, right?
>>67687598
what the fuck are you talking about it's been untainted while fraserposting and raimiposting lost their potency
There are two kinds of people in this world, Ray.
Those who sink. and those who swim. It doesn't really matter if you're stuck in the middle of a fuckin desert.
They say the apple doesen't fall far from the tree, but when I look up all I see are fucking lemons
>>67687664
yeah the rats tried to eat him and he had to kill them in the dark
>>67687464
nice
You know how they say in that movie ray, life is like a box of chocolates? Well mine's got half chocolate almond, and I have a peanut allergy.
>>67687769
How would rats try to eat a living human bean out of nowhere? An unmoving corpse maybe but why try eating a large living organism intstead of bugs and craps like they should've?
>>67686876
>He's Chinese.
>So go stand in front of a tank.
>>67687863
because he was down there for 3 stinkin days
they didn't swarm him or anything he just smashed one that bit him i think
suspension of disbelief pls this is a fun thread
They say you can't judge a book by its cover, Ray.
Too bad the book is 'Mein Kampf' and has a picture of Hitler on the cover.
Know what my favourite story was as a kid? Cinderella. Odd choice, I know. But I related to it. Poor girl, being used and abused by those who held power over her. All that hard work for a moment of freedom, for a taste of the good life. Except I don't have a fuckin fairy godmother Ray, and it's midnight.
>>67687904
sometimes your real self is your best self
>>67687386
goat
i love true detective s2
why did it get all that hate?
will we ever find out about the pedowood club it was hinting at?
>>67688027
I stopped watching because I hated everyone in the plot and didn't care about the story at all.
I liked S1 because it had interesting characters that worked well off each other and the mystery was spooky enough that you were never really sure where it was going. S2's story starts straight off with "Yep theres some corruption and a coverup, nothing spooky here" so I cared less who did it
Ah, the riddle of steel, should i tell you?
It's the least i can do, Ray.
Steel isn't strong, Ray, flesh is stronger.
Casperecontemplated this on the tree of woe
You think you can just liquidate my assets and walk away? I must be your bitch on the rag, you picked the wrong day to fuck me.
I've been barking at people my entire life only to hear that they believe dogs that are all bark have no bite. Luckily I'm mute.
you can't find the answers to life's mysteries on the flip side of a snapple cap Ray. If you ask me you're better off not looking in the first place.
>>67687528
kek
I never wear Nikes, Ray. One time I was standing on the George Washington Bridge, looking at the 300 foot drop. I saw my Jordans and immediately contemplated just doing it. Never again.
My old man used to tell me that when we die our actions in this life effect us in the next life. If we don't do right by each other our ghosts will haunt the people we will behind. If you keep hitting the bottle like that, Ray... It will hit you back in the next life. Casper the friendly ghost knew this.
![vince-vaughn[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/khsZj9V.jpg "vince-vaughn[1].jpg")
It's a dog eat dog world, Ray. And I'm the fucking Chinaman
>>67686876
You know Ray, there's a saying "Look before you leap"?
Well the way I see it, I was already on the other side of the road before the other dumbfuck was could tie his shoes.
It's time to kill two birds with one stone, Ray. Except the birds are fighting back and I'm all outta stones.
>>67687192
>>67687406
>>67687712
>>67689303
>>67689423
>>67689631
>>67686876
Ray, have you ever heard the saying "Early bird catches the worm"?
Well from where I'm standing, I stayed late at night and did it the long way round, while those dickless posers squaked around for turds.
Maybe I'm just a huge pleb but I still don't [spoiler[know[/spoiler] who the fucking bad guy was supposed to be in S2.
The Russians? Themselves? Someone explain this to me, I need tounderstandthis like Caspere comprehends this.
>>67687917
My sides
>>67689764
Maybe you are just a marvelcuck pleb who can't comprehend a story that doesn't have "a good guy" and "a bad guy"
You know Ray. They say life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and take a look around once in a while, you might miss it.
Well the motherfuckers cut my breaks Ray.
>>67687317
I liked season 2 far more than season 1.
Why are these so funny, jesus christ. I can't breath.
>>67686876
I'm just here to get my files
>>67688165
>hating Ray
WEW LAD
E
W
L
A
D
Fat pussy detected.
>>67689833
Maybe good and bad were the wrong terms to use since we all know morality is subjective, so let me re-phrase the question:
Who was the antagonist supposed to be?
The antagonist is supposed to drive the conflict, and by extension the plot forward. This doesn't mean the protagonist is "good" and the antagonist "bad" however.
>>67687461
kek
>>67689764
>The Russians
Yes.
>Themselves
Also yes.
>Everyone else.
Also also yes.
Everyone in the season is complicit. The True Detectives are only redeemed once they realize that the system they've been serving is a sham and sacrifice themselves to try and make it right.
>you can't save Ray
>you can't save Paul
>you can't save Frank
>you can'tcuddleAni
Why live?
Frank's death was so stupid and pointless.
Kind of like the rest of the season, so I guess it was perfect.
Bravo, Pizzalotto.
>tfw you will never go to empty east la bars with ray drinking booze until 2 am
>tfw you will never talk bullshit with frank and here his retarded lines in person
>tfw you will never get drunk with ani and hook up with her
>tfw you will never go on scuicidal midnight moto rides with paul
>tfw season 2 was better than season one and its over.
>>67687676
mods deleting thread are not a lost in potency
>>67690450
>never again will you experience those last three episodes for the first time
>the mansion escape
>Ray and Ani getting together
>Paul going full God Warrior
>Frank in the desert
vinceposting is objectively the greatest meme here - it requires proper creativity, has low repetition rate, some are really clever...
spamming le big guy for you for years on end is breddy funny too though I guess :-D
They say you shouldn't eat 2 hours before swimming, Ray. But do you know what I've just learned? There are plenty more fish in the sea. And I don't even own a fucking boat.
Let me tell you who the hell you're fucking with. When I was playing monopoly in second grade, I bought the spaces that weren't even for sale. That 200 went to me. I got the protection money in jail. And you bet your ass no one parks for free.
They say don't beat around the bush, Ray.
So put your cock back in your pants and stop beating off around my bush.
>>67688027
Because it wasn't Rust and Marty.
People knew that from the start but they were determined to hate it, so they invented reasons to dance around the fact that season 2 was great
If you really want to know someone Ray, you have to walk a mile in their shoes. But guess what, I'm using the metric system. And just between us, I look pretty stupid with this shoe on my head.
>>67691144
They say that loose lips sink ships, Ray. Well if that's true then my entire operation is the fuckin' Titanic. I'm starting to feel like the guy who jumped off and hit the propeller. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Caspere knew this
They say the faintest ink is better than the best memory. Well you know what, Ray ?
You're my external data storage device, and I ain't no motherfuckin' octopus.
It's not like you to steal someone's thunder, Osip, especially when you've got my weather vane up your ass.
>>67687317
Season 2 was better. Get gud.
They say it takes two to tango, Ray. And I know this since watching Tango & Cash. But me? I'm saving the last dance, cause right now, I have no cash.
>>67687447
Wasn't it made obvious from early on that the yellow king was the cult's God?
My daddy told me once that you can get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but it's better to take the butcher at his word. Now that got me thinking. You can either be the butcher, or the guy getting the steak. I thought I was the butcher, but it only recently occurred to me the reality of my situation. I thought I was one or the other, but I'm neither. Me, I'm the fucking bull. And that KGB kike motherfucker has his head up my ass. You know what I'm gonna do Ray? Take a big steamy shit on his plate. How's that for a T-Bone?
Did Casper know this?
>>67690231
Ray is a terrible detective with a drinking problem. He's corrupt, actively makes shit worse. No one loves him because he's such an asshole that his wife left him and his kid hates him.I hate the cuck meme but there really has never been a better example than him raising that little ginger cunt
>>67690786
This post gave me a hardon.
I miss season 2.
I thought I was just gonna' kick back and eat smarties, Raymond, have a little 'me' time to relax...'cept someone's gone and mixed a bunch of fucking skittle into them - you know what I'm sayin?
>>67691976
It sounds like you didn't watch it which is your business because most of that is wrong.
>>67687386
I wrote this months ago. I can't believe someone took the time to copypasta it. I'm touched, anon. Truly, I'm touched.
Season 3 theme song coming through
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR542DzB_ycBefore the screamo part, anyway
>>67692053
Does he not take bribes? Do people like him? Is his kid not a ginger cunt?
>>67692226
Yes, he is corrupt and not the greatest detective and he certainly has substance abuse problems but some people do like him. His father for one, Ani eventually obviously, Paul and even Frank. That's not to say there are people that don't like him though. His kid doesn't hate him either, the kid is just young and retarded, doesn't really understand anything.
Also not a cuck because the kid was his. The wife's new husband is the cuck here
>>67692226
Watch the damn show you doublenigger
>>67692226
His kid is a cunt alright, a fat, ginger, liberal cunt, what a shitty mix, he should kill himself
>>67692113
>mewithoutYou
>close to screamo
Shit, is it 2000 again?
>>67692493
Okay, not screamo. Just the part that involves screaming. Wouldn't work for a TV opening, unless it was on Syfy.
Finn posting is far better desu
>>67692535
I agree. mewithoutYou is one of my favorite bands though, so good on you.
NEVERMIND
Why did the chicken cross the road, Fank? It doesn't matter because I ain't no chicken and ain't nobody crossing me
>>67692554
Vince posting and Times you acted like Rust will always be patrician tier memes
>>67687682
underrated
![1035x760-td1800-1405085083[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/efqfpwa.jpg "1035x760-td1800-1405085083[1].jpg")
AWARDS WERE LOST
NO SEASONS SIGNED
I LOST MY JOB
THE SCRIPT WAS MINE
I HAD A JOB
I DIDNT TRY
I HAVE A NAME
ITS PIZZA PIE
PIZZA PIE
PIZZA PIE
I WROTE THE SCRIPT NOBODY LIKED
THE STORY'S TOLD
WITH HACKY LINES
I HAD A NAME
ITS PIZZA PIE
>>67687317
literally halfway through episode one
So Quentins a pleb right?
http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/news/a37371/quentin-tarantino-true-detective/
>>67693201
>didn't like episode 1 of season 1
Sounds like a simple case of "not enough explosions"
>And season two looks awful. Just the trailer
And trashed, literally "too many white guys" "it's not fun enough". Should stick to capeshit and sniffing his own farts. His movies are soulless drivel these days, and he should be disappointed.
True Detective Season 1 was better than anything and everything Tarantino has ever tried to do with the crime genre. He's so out of touch with what even made him popular to begin with it's stopped being funny.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. I spent my whole life thinking I was the apple salesman. But you know what I just realized? I'm the fucking doctor. And it's time for a checkup, Ray.
>>67693201
not enough feet shots obviously or niggers
>>67691986
I didn't know it was possible to actually miss a TV show until Season 2 passed.
I think part of it was because no one could agree on it, but that somehow only made it better for me.
>>67687464
This is good
>>67693301
I love this new meme that hispanics are white.
literally perfect
>>67694489
>tfw you find your sister while doing your porn browsing then schedule a bust to catch her
>>67686876
You can piss in a jar and say it's grannie's ice tea Ray,I'll piss in a jar put a label on it saying grannies ice tea and blow up congress
>>67687514
>diamond dozend
>They say that human consciousness was a tragic misstep in evolution Ray, but your kid was a fucking leap. Caspare knew this.
>After losing, they always say "fuck that shit". Well Ray, I hope you like anal.
>Google's always asking if I'm feeling lucky. I feel like with my luck I could be driving a boat and end up crash into a fucking airplane anyways, you fucking commies.
>You always say you can't be in many places at the same time, but I think you can, Ray. After an explosion.
>My dad told me life flies by pretty fast. It only does if you crash into my boat, you stupid fuck.
>>67687447
I bet you thought the prequels were good the second TFA came out.
>Everything I do is to the max, Ray. When I shit myself, the guy in the basement is dead.
Ray, do you know what happened to that meatball, on top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese? It rolled right off the table when Caspere sneezed. And im the fuckin door and im wide open, Ray.
>>67694489
>>67696021
>Mom! People have OTHER OPINIONS THAN I DO!!!
I missed vinceposting.
>>67696220
You might've missed Vinceposting, but the thing about me, Ray, is that I never miss.
>>67687020
this is why thing meme isn't popular - it's hard to pull of right, as clearly fucked up by >>67687236
>>67689631
It's one thing kill two birds with one stone, but I'm going to kill two stones with one bird.
What's the matter, Ray? Hawk got your nuts?
>>67696340
Ugh. Botched hard.
>>67686876
let me do some revisions
>I'm already up to my neck in shit, Ray. I don't have time to stop and think about whether or not I left the oven on because I need to buy a snorkel.
>>67696340
I think it's done best when the punchline both makes sense even in a serious context and is unpredictably funny.
>>67686876
Guess what rey? In this cuckold world everyone wants to be a bull and im a fucking matador
>>67696028
Fuckin KEK'd
>>67686876
so is he the only good part about season 2 then
This here, Ray, is my custom cane with a soda dispenser. I call it the FantaSticK™What the fuck am I doing with my life?
>>67696658
This board has a thing about women who dont smile
>>67696028
>Everything I do is to the max, Ray. When I shit myself, the guy in the basement is thinking of ordering a snorkel.
>>67686876
You like movies Ray? There's this old one i cant forget, "fix my fucking door" the kid says.. well Ray, sometimes you fix the door and other times the door fixes you. Your wifes son knew this.
>>67696551
if i had to expand on the unique construction of this meme (phd in memeology here) i would say you start by taking a metaphorical figure of speech, then try to take the metaphor one step further to the point of nonsense
like these, some of the first good ones
>>67687192
>>67687165
>>67687386
put it in a conversational style (he's always talking to Ray), throw in a few references to Caspere and the "they" that he's going to get back at and you're good
You know that old saying, about the squeaky wheel and the grease? Well lube me right the fuck up, Ray!
My shithead of a father once told me that a man has to stare death in the eye.
And you know what I found out, Ray? Death is autistic and won't make eye contact.
>>67696828
Anon holy fuck I wasn't prepared
Apple doest fall far from the tree rey, thats why I plant pears
I once saw this old lady cross the street once, Ray. She was slow as shit and had no idea what was going on around her. The Russians think i'm the old lady, but you know what, Ray? I'm the bus that runs the red light and hits doing 80.
My shithead of a father once told me man has to stay on his toes. You know what I found out rey? Only women and fags wear highheels
Two heads are better than one, Ray. That's why I sucked three, just in case.
>>67697088
>>67697157
lol.
>>67690231
Ray is a lame version of Max Payne.
>this entire thread
>>67697088
They say the darkest place is under candel rey. So why ann frank didnt hide under menorah?
>>67697088
Gold.
>>67697088
Anon, what the fuck
>>67687020Caspere knew this
They say apples don't fall far from the tree, but my nuts sure did.
>>67697200
>>67697281
>>67697323
>>67697331
I feel like this is all the same guy.
You know Ray, if not for Vince Vaughn, the second season of True Detective would have been an absolute shitfest. Caspere knew this.
>>67697449
Nope, just a god tier joke man.
When did you realize that Season 2 was not only the better season of True Detective, but possibly the best season of television ever created?
>>67697331
Samefagging whore
They always say you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Well Ray, I brought a fucking gun to the fight, just in case.
>>67697449
>>67697558
mad samefag
All my life I thought I was Superman. Turns out I am, Ray, but the world is fucking me with a kryptonite cock, and it has no plans of pulling out.
>>67687598
Read this thread. There are less than 10 actual people who get the joke, and most of them are just reposts.
>>67697607
Nah, try again desu.
I love Vinceposting. The only thing that comes close is Jaxposting IMO. Too bad most people are too uncreative to pull it off.
HEY WE'RE IN THE SAME BOAT HERE
Oh, that's where you're wrong. I'm in the boat. You're in the water.
>>67697785
Reach out to brown and set a meet. We need them to turn on the Irish so yellow can distribute their hardware in Northern Cali and we can get outta guns. After that we gotta take out white cause they only care about green. Then, we finally can turn legit and become whole again.
I love you brothers.
*hugging intensifies*
You know, when I was a kid, I always thought it was "may the vest man win." I spent my whole childhood looking for the man with the vest, because my old man was too drunk to enunciate. My whole time as a kid trying to find the vest man, Ray, and guess what? While I'm looking I get rammed in the ass by the boot bus.
they say you should never take candy from a baby. I've been treated like the baby my whole life. no one takes candy from me, Ray. And these Russians will know I ain't sucking on their sweet dicks anymore
>>67697554
>possibly the best season of television ever created
Nah.
It's good, but the ending kinda brings it down desu.
>>67698146
>>67692554
shittington for the win
>>67692974
The plot was lost,
The writers fired,
Emotions forced,
And uninspired.
Dialogue vague,
Pizza retired,
A shit was laid,
But nevermind.
Nevermind, nevermind,
"Wait till the end 'fore you decide"
Nevermind, nevermind,
Was never gonna meet the hype.
I was not cucked
though many tried...
>>67698146
You ever wonder why boiling water softens potatoes, but hardens eggs? All these fuckarounds get put in the water and go soft. Me? I've been boiled so many times, I'm ready for my Easter painting.
>In late 2015, it was announced that Pizzolatto had signed a deal with HBO through 2018.
You know what, Ray? This city has a short fucking memory. One you're at the beginning of a sentence standing tall and proud. The next day, you're smashed in the middle of a jumble of letters without any way of knowing if you're an "i" or an "l." Thing is, Ray, I'm like a forgotten old tee, and nobody crosses me.
My father once told me that where there's smoke, there's fire. What he didn't tell me was that where there's fire, there's heat, and I'm all outta sunblock.
You know what, Ray? They say that sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you. But right now, I'm at the fuckin Super Bowl, and I don't see any Bears around.
You know, Ray. People always say six in one hand is the same as half a dozen in the other hand. But what they don't know is that I am a baked and my oven's always pre-heated.
My mother used to say that a watched pot never boils. But right now Ray, I'm all out time and I can't find my glasses.
Some people think the glass is half-full and some people think the glass is half-empty. What they don't know, is either way you gotta wash it and I'm all out of soap.
My dad was a math teacher, Ray. He used to always tell me when I was acting up that I was being obtuse. Thing is, he's dead now and I've always been a circle.
You know what, Ray? I tried getting sober once, trying to get off the wagon. But when I did, I realized that power is intoxicating and instead of a wagon, I'm riding a fucking Harley. Caspere knew this.
Ever hear about the Butterfly Effect, Ray? It say's that a butterfly can flap it's wing in Australia and cause a hurricane in the Caribbean. Right now, I'm in Sydney with a first class ticket to New Orleans and I forgot my water wings.
>>67698216
>implying
I see where you're coming from, but I loved how bleak it got. It felt really honest. The only way those guys could've got any release was in death.
But in death, they freed Ani, at least. That was about all the light anyone could hope for.
>>67699429
I legit thought Ani was gonna die too, either get gunned down by a passing boat or just kill herself because she knew Ray wouldn't make it.
>>67687826
>>67699542
Glad they didn't go that route.
I don't even think they meant to go "bleak," like I said they did. I think it was more that Ray, Frank, and Paul had dug themselves in too deep. Ani was the only one who had any chance of clawing herself out, with their help. There's some hope in the ending of Season 2, even though you have to go through some dark stuff to see it. Just like in real life.
>you will never be part of a squad of true detectives
>you will never pursue leads and crack jokes so acerbic they could burn holes in your stomach lining
>you will never drink with your fellow true detectives late at night and hash out the shit in your past
Feels bad.
>>67686876
They say don't bite the hand that feeds you. I'm on life support with an IV drip, and the nurse if giving me a hand job.
>>67692554
>Finn
I think you mean lieutenant Odafin Tutuola
>>67699764
>tfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFh71_ftxLE
>>67699764
>>67700079
Iktf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjg43nzSYck
>>67700079
>ad for Shakira's song from Zootopia appears 3/4 through
>>67700574
>They say the hips don't lie. I've heard nothing but lies all my life, and I've never been on a dance floor.
>>67690786
>>the mansion escape
was ok
>>Ray and Ani getting together
completely spur of the moment and forced as fuck
>>Paul going full God Warrior
brettygood
>>Frank in the desert
Absolute shit, worst death of the season.
>>67692360
>His kid doesn't hate him either, the kid is just young and retarded, doesn't really understand anything
>doesn't look him in the eye or smile even once in Ray's presence
Ok, Ray
>>67687317
2 episodes senpai
I poopety poop gaysex rapehomo. Cuckolding cuck cuck cuckshed bull. Caspar Balthazar and Melchior knew this for a fact.
>>67687863
Because they're rats that's what they do.
