ITT we create a movie premise that's guaranteed box office poison. I'm thinking about a found-footage movie about gorillas on mars
The movie was cool tho
a shot for shot remake of Blade Runner starring Russell Brand
>>67007600
I liked it too.
Easy
WW2 movie about the Eastern Front showing both sides in true colors
Sci-fi without plotholes and needless exposition
A well thought out and executed horror movie
Hell, basically anything historic the common American doesn't know shit about. Like invasion of Poland, 30 years war or WW1.
go read red mars by kim stanley robinson and try to do a film adaptation that does it justice
you could probably throw a perfect game and put together a masterpiece and still lose at least $200 million
>>67007791
>le history
nerd
>>67007475
Solo venom movie directed by josh trank
>>67007835
kek
>>67007475
Ghostbusters with all female cast and one gorilla.
A Revolutionary War movie depicting George Washington as the genocidal rapist he was.
>>67007600
This. The only thing that killed it was bad marketing and the shitty title. Plebs don't know about Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom series.
"Superhero X" versus "Superhero Y"
Prepare your wallet for the money it's going to drop on:
Spiderman vs Antman
Spiderman vs Batman
Spiderman vs Superman
Superman vs Antman
Antman vs Batman
Spiderman vs Antman 2: Civil Bug War
Aquaman vs Superman
Aquaman vs Batman
Aquaman vs Landman
Deadpool destroys the Marvel Universe
Deadpool destroys the DC Universe
Deadpool destroys Deadpool
Marvel vs DC
DC vs Marvel
Hulk vs DC
Hulk vs Guardians of the Galaxy
Avengers vs Guardians of the Galaxy
Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy versus the DC Universe and Deadpool joins DC for monetary reasons
Fantastic Four vs Avengers vs Shield vs Deadpool vs Antman vs Guardians of the Galaxmeme
Deathstroke and beneficiaries vs Deadpool: The Lawsuit
General Populace vs Hollywood: Oy vey, goyim wants their money back
I've got many more, but you should get the idea now
>tfw really liked John Carter and saw it three times in theaters
>>67008139
I rubbed it out to that poo in loo princess
>>67007475
>found-footage movie about gorillas on mars
>inb4 super serious trailer with super gloomy synth music
>opens with various shots of a rover on mars and nasa HQ
>THEY WENT THERE FOR WATER
>suddenly something goes wrong, cameras see strange dark figures in the distance
>shot where a nasa guy takes off his headphones and looks at the huge screen, everybody frowning and gasping in utter disbelief
>"watch out, somethings wr-"
>music goes DUN, gorilla shadow in plain sight destroys rover
>BUT SOMETHING ELSE...
>nasa loses rover's signal, has to send a space team to investigate
>... WENT FOR THEM
>rocket launch scene, they land on mars
>it all goes well until
>"JOHNSON BEHIND YOU!!!"
>screams, video static, running on the surface of mars
>THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
>more scary shot
>THIS IS THE STORY
>OF THE APOLLO 69 MISSION
>GORILLAS ON MARS
>trailer cuts to black screen with credits and the www.gorillasonmars.com link
>>67007600
I'm with you.
>>67008479
You did good.
An animated cgi movie about dinosaurs.
>>67008479
thanks, made me laff
>>67008479
you have no idea how proud of you i am right now
truly the hero we need, but not the one we deserve
>>67008479
this is going on reddit, isn't it
IT TOOK 81 YEARS TO MAKE
>take an already existing property
>get a music video director
>get a "literally who?" tier Israeli actor/actress
>CGI that shit up, son
>add a romantic subplot
>shoehorn in some feminism or diversity
Okay: here's my guarenteed box office bomb:
>movie:
Scanners remake
>directed by:
Hannah Lux Davis (who did an Ariana Grande music video, she's gonna be the next big thing!), starring
>starring:
Alon Abutbul and Odeya Rush (they're gonna be big! I bet my sheckles on it!)
>CGI that shit up!
now instead of people shaking and concentrating as a weird sound effect plays to convey their telepathic abilities: they wave their hands around and shoot Green Lantern beams and do Harry Potter shit. No exploding heads either, just PG-13 violence, like throwing people against walls and they die
>romantic subplot!
the main character is conflicted whether or not he wants to help or stop the leader of the Scanners because he's attracted to her
>feminism and diversity!
the leader of the Scanners is a woman and all her friends are people of color or gay
>>67008134
Uhh Spiderman is Marvel and Batman is DC
>>67008877
>and they die
Doesn't sound very PG-13 to me (unless they are just henchmen, then it's ok)
>>67007791
>WW2 movie about the Eastern Front showing both sides in true colors
Estonian film 1944 did that.
>>67007475
>SPECIAL DEAD
One summer at a special needs camp, deep in the woods, far from civilization. They become cut off from the outside world after a zombie outbreak infects the major cities. Fearing and panicking the disease could spread to them, the campers and carers must band together to survive but after all the care takers end up dead, a power struggle begins to emerge in the camp leading to an eventual schism. Can the two groups put aside their differences and beat the undead? This summer you're about to find out even the smallest hero can have the greatest handicap.
>>67007835
>>67009004
lots of people die in those Marvel films, just off camera, so it doesn't upset the normies.
>>67007600
I liked it. its a solid movie, idk why it was so trashed, theres far worse shit put out every year.
>>67008134
>Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy versus the DC Universe and Deadpool joins DC for monetary reasons
Would
Jodorowsky's Dune
>>67007475
A mentally challenged Jewish boy attempts to survive the holocaust, hiding out with his family, he befriends a small puppy. Then Nazis kill his puppy. Now he wants revenge.
>>67008479
>JOHNSON BEHIND YOU
Classic
>>67007475
Anything with white Egyptians in it
>>67008058
Those books are awful.
>>67009268
Valkyrie 2: potato latkes
>+$100m Budget
>None of it in marketing
>None of it in stars
>Intern puts together the trailer
>And forgets to upload it to youtube
>All of the budget in top-notch VFX (CGI and Practical)
>English and Irish actors, director tells them to "Be natural, just use your own accents"
>More than half of said actors are black, or of Asian descent
>Not attached to any existing franchise
>Released exactly on schedule
>Nobody involved with the movie uses Twitter
>Name that's completely uninteresting. Doesn't reference a concept, doesn't begin with "the"
>Archetypal plot and characters, but modified with a few of its own "twists"
>Main character is gay, but it's not overtly publicized. You'd just get a slight homo vibe from the trailer if you watched it.
>Execs realise the interns fuckup, trailer goes up the day before it begins showing in cinemas
>>67009268
Boy in the Striped and Bloodspattered Pajamas?
>>67008134
>Deathstroke and beneficiaries vs Deadpool: The Lawsuit
>General Populace vs Hollywood: Oy vey, goyim wants their money back
Haha
>>67009268
John Wickbergstein
American Psycho with a Down Syndrome actor playing the role of Patrick Bateman
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empires_of_the_Deep
this should be the template we use to start with
>overly ambitious 3D CGI monstrosity
>b+ list model with b- talent and c list fame/public awareness as the lead
>dozens of drafts being passed around between several screenwriters
>end up with terribly executed cliche ridden story that literally no one fucking cares about
>put the actress in a stereotypical but awkwardly sexualized role
>ever growing budget, funded by asian investor/brain child working on his "dream project"
>not money laundering, i swear
>$130 million dollars
>6 years of post-production, legitimately might never be released
JUST
>>67009353
>>67009407
Those are such perfect titles, I don't really know which one to decide on.
