>Luke, here's your lightsaber. I crossed the universe to find you.
>Luke, say something the movie is finishing.
>Shit, the camera is flying away. Just say something, Luke.
>Luke!
>LUUKE!
Directed by J. J. Abrams
Suggest what he should have said without using memes.
>>63851909
You're a big girl
>>63851909
"I dropped my keys somewhere up here."
>>63851909
"The force awakens" *roll credits*
>>63851909
The Jedi have finally returned
>>63851893
"Hello there."
>Rey, did I ever tell you about the time your cousin, Kylo Ren, was seduced by the dark side and massacred the Jedi younglings, but I whisked you away to safety by abandoning you on the planet Jakku, because you're my daughter. And he was a good friend.
>>63851909
"I came here to fuck bitches"
>>63851909
I feel an awakening in my pants.
>>63851893
>LUUKE!
Was Rey not sure he was himself or his clone? Bravo JJ
Luke: it's good to see you, Rei.
Rei: how do you know my name?
Luke: i'm your father.
>>63851893
>Okay Mark, you're gonna have to lose 50 lbs for returning as Luke. This will be a serious role to play and you need to be in excellent top physical shape
>Okay I'll do the fucking diet
>After filming him standing with a wtf facial expression for 30 seconds: Okay, you're done
>Why the fuck did I have to lose weight then? When I'm wearing a big ass robe that covers my gut and a beard that covers my fat face?
>Uh...
Directed by J.J. Abrams
>>63851909
"After all these years finally... the force awakens!"
I was waiting for him to force lift the lightsaber from her hand to end it, but they didn't even do that.
>>63851909
"...I sense you've endured your own Star Wars. The Force Awakens™ inside of you."
>>63851909
I'm not paying child support.
>>63851909
"No."
And then he turns away. Like poetry. (This is advanced poetry, it requires knowledge of behind-the-scenes footage.)
>>63851909
Get some rest, Rey. You look tired.
BWREEEEEEEEE BWREEEEEEEEEEE
>>63851909
"I am your father."
I bet they filmed him saying that but cut it because it felt too forced
>>63851909
"Teach me to be a Jedi, master Rey."
>Rey, did I ever tell you about Luke's inert need to fuck
>watch yourself when you are sleeping Rey
>he's a good friend
>>63851909
>"You know what? Fuck off."'PG-13' films are allowed to say 'fuck' once, right? That would have been the perfect time.
>>63851909
Whats wrong with your accent?
>>63851909
"It's over Rey! I have the high ground!"
>>63851909
After a period of silence,
"The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. My sister has it.
And my daughter has it."
Cut to black, roll credits. That's how you properly do it.
I liked the movie but I hated how the endingwas just the camera flying away from them whilst Rey was still pointing the lightsaber at Luke for like 45 seconds
>>63852065
"Nothing more I can teach you today. Or any day. Throughout the aeons, you are THE Jedi Master."
Then he bows and hands Master Rey his robes.
>>63851909
"You haven't been blacked yet have you?"
>>63851909
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house,
>>63851893
"Ben stands by my bed at night and strokes his beard while yoda masturbates furiously and my father watches"
Can this thread be real. He literally says something. Did you all miss it?
>>63851893
Couldn't they have touched on the fact that he knew her, and that she had been training with him before Kylo Ren went fucking bonkers so that we knew why Rey was so fucking strong in the movie without any reason to be?
my baby girl
>>63851909
"Did you bring me beer like I asked?
>>63851909
"You better return my lightsaber, SCAVENGER SCUM!"
>>63851909
Get back to the kitchen
>>63851893
"I have the answers of your questions, Rei"
>>63851909
Looks like it's time for a Star Wars
>>63852012
>love hamill
>great as joker
>totally stoked to see him reprise luke
>not in the trailer at all
>everyone OMG HARRISON FORD, THE STAR OF PLANTS VS ALIENS
>YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHO WE HAVE IN THE STUDIO IT'S JOHN BOYEGA
>CHEWBACCA LEAH R2 HAN SOLO THE GANGS ALL HERE
>oh yeah and luke is here
Fuck you jj you fucking cuck. I hope it turns out he's dark sided and kills finn and rei in their sleep.
>>63851909
*unzips lightsaber*
*teleports behind rey*
*kills her a billion times*
pshh personell we dark side now
Did Luke not accept the Lightsaber from Rey because he knew she likes the black guy?
I mean if my daughter liked the BBC I wouldn't be too happy.
>>63851909
"It is as the prophecy says: now that the star wars, the force awakens."
>>63851909
"Trying to smoke this weed?"
>>63851909
"Who are you? I was expecting my son, Finn."
>>63851893
"looks like i have company"
>>63851909
Luke:
>I can't walk... they've tied my shoelaces together
Rey:
>A knot. Bastards!
*Credits roll*
>>63851909
"Why the long face? Did Kylo Ren kill his father Han Solo or did you finish Fallout 4 and have to choose between killing your son or nuking Boston?
>>63851893
Allahu akbar
>>63851893
Why did Luke make a map to himself?
It was the driving plot force behind the entire movie
Why did he make it? When? Why is it in 2 pieces? Why was one piece in a droid he never knew? If he wanted to be a hermit he wouldn't leave a fucking map.
It's the "prophecy" from the prequels all over again
>>63851909
I really didn't need the Lightsaber, Rey.
I have this green one I built 30 years ago. It's fine, really.
>>63851893
Han was a good friend and brother-in-law.
>>63851909
Nothing. The movie should have ended when the closeup of Rey holding out the lightsaber happened
>>63852201
What was it then?
>>63852765
>If he wanted to be a hermit he wouldn't leave a fucking map
And if he wanted to help, he'd have gone to them.
Also, if he ever needed to come back, he'd know because he has the fucking Force.
>>63851909
"Leave me, I'm tired of the republic, those people, I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives"
>>63852129
This is the best.
>>63852901
What could've happened for Luke to stop giving a fuck
>emotional ending scene comes on
>all i can focus on is hamlll's fucked up nose
Was I the only one??
>>63852940
It would've been epic. I just picture Mark saying the lines, with his back turned to her, and then turning around to reveal his face, saying the daughter line.
Cut to black roll credits.
It would've made that ending worth it.
>>63851909
"Meesa made a poodoo inna meesa diapey"
>>63852765
>Why was one piece in a droid he never knew?
It wasn't. It was originally with someone on Jakku. He gave it to her when he dropped off Rey.
>>63851909
"You'll be needing that more than I. Draw."
>>63852942
The politics illustrated in the prequels
>save the entire fucking galaxy
>become resident jedi president
>all the bureaucracy comes back
>luke was barely even a jedi to begin with (limited force powers, zero lightsaber skill)
>this party sucks
>i wanna go home
>my feet hurt
>i just wanna bullseye womprats in my t16
>>63852524
you should never have kids you neckbeard fuck.
>>63851909
He should have slowly walked up to Rey, touched the top of the lightsaber gently with his hand, the camera zooms in on this, and then roll credits.
>>63853052
sjw cuck detected
>>63852302
for that light sabre, five full portions
>>63852949
No, my brother. You were not.
>>63852810
yfw he uses a blue saber
>>63851951
Top tier answer.
>>63852942
He probably figured that the Universe outgrew the Force or some retarded bullshit.
That or he fucked up spectacularly and all the people he trained ended up being a bunch of edgy fucks and turning to the Knights of Ren.
>The Force is the most powerful thing in existence
>Then why aren't we in charge
>Because we're chivalrous and shit
>Fuck that shit, we wuz Darksided n shit
>>63853067
>she pulls a Kylo
>>63851960
You have the expectation that he knew about his daughter?
Though I'm not sold on the family connection 100%.
so he will obviously die very soon right? I mean luke is old as shit right? here we go. I don't mind it at all.
>>63851909
>Pulls out a green lightsaber
>"Time for your first lesson"
>>63851909
Did I ever tell you about the time
>>63851909
These pretzels... are making me thirsty!
>>63852129
>And my daughter has it.
>Not "You have that power too" like in the fuckin trailer.
>>63851909
"R2! Chewie! Hey guys, where's Han!"
>>63851909
"I don't see how that's a party"
There are 8 billion Star Wars threads up
>>63851893
>he didnt press the action button
>>63851893
"Outta my way you Jakku fucking shit"
That ending scene could have been so fucking good if they cut the time and didn't use the ridiculous panning shot.
Fuck you JJ.
>>63851909
>>63851909
Where's the new review?
>>63851909
Welcome, Rey
>>63853493
oy vey
>>63851893
YO REY, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT TATOOINE IS THE GREATEST DESERT PLANET OF ALL TIME
>>63851993
I can't decide if this is shit or brilliant. It's a reuse of yet another plot point from the OT, but at least it would explain how Mary Sue...I mean Rey kicked ass with the force.
>>63853310
I seriously hope they keep him alive as the eventual Master of the new new Jedi Order.
Because if they kill him now, his legacy since 'Return of the Jedi' would be to have fucked up with his first batch of students, lived as a hermit for 30 years and then dying after finding his Mary Sue daughter.
>>63852100
>'PG-13' films are allowed to say 'fuck' once, right?
They can get away with it two times. Bridge of Spies and Interstellar both said fuck twice.
>>63853686
>america
>>63852129
Change "my daughter has it" to "you have that power too" and it's perfect.
Robed Protagonist faces away from camera, back to Rey. Familiar garbs, unkempt but familiar.
Rey reaches the summit and is a bit anxious, perhaps unsure.
With the back turned, the robed protagnists says in a hoarse, but sure voice:
"I've sensed your arrival"
He turns REVEAL Luke Skywalker as he pushes back the hood of his robe.
Rey doesn't speak, but extends the lightsabre, like the passing of a baton to a lordly man.
CUT TO BLACK
J.J ABRAMS
>>63851893
Did anyone else hate that wideshot at the end? I mean, that comes across as something very-un Star Wars-y. I mean, I get that they couldn't do that in the originals, but I feel it just comes across as a gimmick to be psuedo-epic and show off the landscape.
threads like this make me realize how absolutely terrible most of /tv/ would be at making movies
>>63853741
Are you a britcuck? Tell me about your film rating system. Can a film aimed at young teens say fuck more than twice?
>>63851909
"Thank God, it's the white one."
>>63851909
LIGHT MAKES RIGHT!
>>63853840
i agree it was a weird shot to end the movie with
mostly because of the panning, it would have been better with just a zoom-out i think
>>63853052
>What do you mean my daughter shouldn't be forcibly culturally enriched, ITS 2015.
No, you shouldn't have kids you dickless cuck.
>>63853937
Not that guy, but Star Wars is primarily aimed at children you edgelord.
>>63851893
"Oh, you brought my dad's lightsaber back. Cool. Ten portions."
>>63851909
Luke: "Wow, you're a big girl!
>tfw no baby girl
I was actually looking forward to it.
>>63853521
underrated
I wanted Luke to yell "UNLIMITED POWER" and Force-zap her
>>63851909
"Fuck yeah a girl. No more blue balls for this Jedi"
>>63852047
How long until someone can make this happen
>>63851909
Soooo, who brought the spare tire?
>>63851909
And he was a good friend
>>63851893
who the fuck are you
>>63851909
God damn it Rey. Didn't anyone tell you not to use my lightsaber as a dildo?
>>63854925
jesus christ the autism
>>63851893
Away with your weapon. I mean you no harm.
>>63851909
Do you have the power converters I ordered?
>>63851893
I hope Mike and Jay enjoyed this.
>>63851909
You are my daughter and Leia is your mother. She is my sister. We did anal too.
>>63851909
"I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything’s soft... and smooth..."
>>63852742
lmao why is this so funny to do to star wars nerds
>>63851921
For you
>>63853255
>>63851909
After all these Star Wars...
They should have just made him fart and smile before cutting to the credit scroll.
>huh? wuhh?
>DIRECTED BY JJ ABRAMS
>>63851909
I'm sorry, but did the Resistance already lose? Oh, that's right. The war isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does not having the last Jedi at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this trip when the war is still on? The Resistance are still fight right now and they have been the best guerrila fighters in the galaxy for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst shits in the galaxy who just happen to have the advantage because they're feeding off the energy of being an all white patriarchy. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Resistance are the best fucking fighters in the galaxy, they survived last year and would of won the war if my bitch sister didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded trips like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Resistance wins and someone bumps this trip. Oh look at that, the Resistance just blew up the Starkiller when they needed to get one, just like the Rebellion did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a trip in this galaxy again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only girl making all these anti-Resistance topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the team because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams in the galaxy, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your thoughts now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good girl? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a trip like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.
>>63852012
theyve also done some for 8, the ireland island scenes, so I guess that could explain the effort JJ had him go to
>>63851951
3 hours late but this.
Also that helicopter panning should've been dropped.
>>63851909
"Was getting caught part of your plan?"
>rey: "father?"
>cut to black
Luke not even standing there, Rey handing the saber to no one, luke added in later. LAME
