BASED ARMOND HAS SPOKEN
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http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428730/star-wars-demystified
>TV-show runner J. J. Abrams brings his game-changing banality to the Star Wars franchise. He follows the template as originated by Lucas and appeals to adolescent thralldom, keeping the brand recognizable. The Force Awakens is paced better than Star Wars’ other dismal episodes, yet it’s even more impersonal. There’s no visual or spiritual excitement, as there was even in a cynical sci-fi product like Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. Abrams is making product to salute the cultural and economic status quo. With Star Wars, product has not only taken the place of art; it has replaced myth.
STARFAGS BTFO, JJ ON SUICIDE WATCH
>Everyone knows the Star Wars series peaked with that confrontation in The Empire Strikes Back (1980) between Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) and the villain, Darth Vader (played on screen by David Prowse, but voiced by James Earl Jones).
>The “Luke, I am your father” revelation resonated because it expressed how George Lucas, like his movie-brat peers (Coppola, Bogdanovich, Scorsese, Spielberg, De Palma) struggled with Sixties generational ambivalence. A father–son antagonism resounds through all their films as a reflection of Vietnam-era student protests and the privilege of those draft-dodging filmmaker progeny. Even Lucas, in his escapist outer-space mode, iterated the era’s unease, culminating in Luke’s fear and symbolic castration.
>It’s seldom realized that the movie brats’ films are essentially conservative, politically speaking. Yet, in the new millennium, filmgoers’ superficial political awareness makes them nostalgic for Star Wars to maintain the gullibility of their youth. Longing for innocence is all that the insipidness of the latest sequel, The Force Awakens, signifies. When director J. J. Abrams re-stages that primal moment, he does it for brand recognition, but so unimaginatively that it feels hackneyed. Even though it’s meant to be painful for rabid Star Wars fanatics, it lacks mythological significance. Star Wars fans are not required to think metaphorically, so any Oedipal meaning is lost (although there is something of millennial ingratitude in the new filial confrontation), just as the original scene’s impact was ignored in subsequent sequels.
THE KING
>The new characters in The Force Awakens are banal. John Boyega’s black superhero, Finn, updates and restyles Han Solo’s jockish heroism — a cultural evolution that evokes Obama (“I was taken from a family I’ll never know”) for global commercialism. Boyega is appealing-enough to surpass the series’ previous racial tokens, Billy Dee Williams and Samuel L. Jackson, but he is subordinate to the new gallantry of Daisy Ridley’s Rey, who embodies the female empowerment denied to Princess (now General) Leia. Rey “leans in” when she grips the Skywalker light saber, so that feminists can rejoice at the Disney Corporation’s calculated political correctness (although Rey’s competence with weaponry contradicts liberals’ convenient attitudes toward gun control.)
>By now we all should know that there’s nothing of adult interest in Star Wars. Even when it premiered back in 1977, the sci-fi premise and comic-book characters were eclipsed artistically by the visionary spirituality of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Yet the continued prominence of Star Wars signifies something that is politically serious, if not dreadful: The great renaissance of American filmmaking during the 1970s and its regeneration of film culture (when movies were seen as a vital means of approaching and understanding contemporary experience) were doomed by Star Wars’ pseudo-imaginative, non-campy rehash of escapist junk. Now, the rebooted, politically empty The Force Awakens suggests a boot stuck in the rear of film culture’s flabby remains.
fucking finally, now I will post this in every SW thread
BASED
BASED
BASED
THE KING HAS SPOKEN
SPREAD THE WORD
HONORARY WHITE MAN
This review reads like so many of his others, you could call it a glib facsimile
He's completely right.
>>63777395
this man read way too far into the motivations and inspirations for various elements of a blockbuster about space magic tbqh
he gave too much credit to the OT
>Rey “leans in” when she grips the Skywalker light saber, so that feminists can rejoice at the Disney Corporation’s calculated political correctness (although Rey’s competence with weaponry contradicts liberals’ convenient attitudes toward gun control.)
Literally who
>The Force Awakens is a bread-and-circuses carnival (disguised as “The Rapture,” a young videomaker told me) that is intended to keep millennial audiences docile. Maybe that explains the film’s unavoidable sell and both the media’s and the public’s desperate genuflection. Love of Star Wars is not love of cinema, just consumerist habit. The Star Wars Generation — that unfortunate rabble primed to see these films at the precise moment they were becoming culturally responsive — are not necessarily the audience the movie brats deserved; they’re spawn of Baby Boomer affluence and narcissism. Star Wars turned their natural curiosity and wonder into self-satisfaction, artificially dependent on media and merchandising (a tragedy also evident in Apple and Pixar evangelism).
>TV-show runner J. J. Abrams brings his game-changing banality to the Star Wars franchise. He follows the template as originated by Lucas and appeals to adolescent thralldom, keeping the brand recognizable. The Force Awakens is paced better than Star Wars’ other dismal episodes, yet it’s even more impersonal. There’s no visual or spiritual excitement, as there was even in a cynical sci-fi product like Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. Abrams is making product to salute the cultural and economic status quo. With Star Wars, product has not only taken the place of art; it has replaced myth.
EXTRA: ARMOND'S ORIGINAL REVIEW OF STAR WARS IN 1977:
>prosaic trash for illiterate, insensitive, and unintelligent . . . suckers, dummies, ass-holes, morons, perverts
WE ARE NOT WORTHY
>>63777456
>"Luke, I am your father"
CONFIRMED CASUAL
>>63777602
go back to reddit, tumblr, or whatever board you came from, you're clearly a newfag here
alternatively LURK THE FUCK MOAR
These threads are golden. The fact you fools think he's even critiquing the film just proves how dull you are.
>Even when it premiered back in 1977, the sci-fi premise and comic-book characters were eclipsed artistically by the visionary spirituality of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
>were eclipsed artistically by the visionary spirituality of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
>spirituality of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
>Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
>spirituality
>Taking this man seriously
lol
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
i used to think that lucas was a flaming liberal faggot but then i remembered he was too autistic to form a political opinion
>>63777629
cry more reddit
always delivers the good
>>63777629
When was the last time you saw CEOTTK?
Have you considered it might be an inability or deficiency on byour part that has led you to not recognise this in them?
>>63777673
Cry more? How old are you? Can you actually articulate yourself or just speak in memes?
>>63777713
0/10
I can sense the tears from your butthurt
>>63777694
Are you retarded? How does the "spirituality" of that movie have anything to do with what he's talking about? It doesn't. It's pseudo intellectual garbage.
Oh look, another Armond White review where he goes against the stream just for the sake of being different, while offering no actual criticism other than muh racism or muh consumerism. Armond is the worst.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
>mfw this is actually a great, totally on-point review
holy shit and they said he was a troll
>saying Prometheus is better than Star Wars
Based as fuck.
>>63777629
I was entertained by the movie but Armond is right. It's nothing more than an incredibly pervasive late capitalist marketing scheme. Politically inert and devoid of soul, myth and mysticality.
I would let him fuck my wife tbqh
ripped apart star wars 7 and le ebin geek culture too, with some good retrospective commentary on star wars as a whole
pretty good
>>63777395
dude I don't actually review the movie just use it's themes to make politically charged insults lmao and make statements without ever backing them up LMAO
>autists on /tv/ actually think this guy is a competent reviewer just because he goes against the grain
>>63777629
>h-he's not critiquing the film guys
>Ad Hominem: his understanding of Close Encounters differs from the majority
Hello reddit.
>>63777755
It's simply an adjective to describe a quality present in Close Encounters that is absent from SWTFA (juxtaposition). No need to get your titties in a twist senpai because his review is fine
>>63777831
in many ways prometheus+(except the first part) is also better than alien
>>63777858
Oh? What the force awakens needed was spirituality? I can totally see that. You definitely don't sound like a raging lunatic.
>>63777395
This guy's got a vocabulary in him without looking like he scoured through the thesaurus ("a glib facsimile")
I can respect that
Why does it feel as if people like him try hard to use big words all the time?
Like they go out of their way to communicate a thought in the most complex way they can come up with
nice "i hate everything and talk like a /pol/ poster" gimmick
>>63777883
>Reddit calling people reddit
lol back2reddit, reddit
>>63777848
>movies don't have any politics around or in them
Stop trying to discredit based Armond with your bullshit argument
>people really going against Armond on this one
He has spoken. Stop it.
>>63777909
I dont agree with him but if anything he uses pretty basic simple words
is english your second language?
>>63777909
>being this btfo that you samefag the thread
>>63777928
/pol/yps aren't event remotely as learned and well read/spoken as Armond.
>>63777909
>big wordsFor you
>>63777493
fucking BASED
>Armond White, a film critic who writes about movies for National Review Online.
a literal fucking nobody.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
>>63777604
>posts literally "if I use big words to prove my point I'll look right!" the reviewer
>\tv\ is braindead enough to think this is right
So does this finally answer the question that \tv\ is by far the most autistic fedora-tipping on 4chan?saying something along the lines of "hello reddit" only proves how bad and cancerous this board truly is
Armond must love bathing in the tears of fanboys.
I like how he regaled in the irony of sjws clapping on Rey holding a lightsaber when they themselves are probably one of those parties behind anti-gun laws.
>/tv/cucks appreciate the opinion of a nigger
ayy lmao
>>63777395
Based Armond
>>63778001
>>63778008
>>63778018
hello reddit
>a New York City-based film and music critic known for his provocative and idiosyncratic film criticism, which some have characterized as contrarian.
of course you fucking faggot had to use this guy's review.
tip: everybody else loves it.
>>63778018
this
irony at its best, considering how they love to trash Boyega
Why did the cucks at RT ban him from the tomatometer? Even no-name vlogger schmucks like Chris Stuckman get in, why not him?
What's up with all the fanboys on here. Star Wars hasn't had a good movie since you've been alive.
>>63778018
you ain't any better than us /pol/
honorary whites are real
>>63778052
>so out of the loop you actually had to google his name
just fuck clear off to wherever you came from
>>63778018
>cares about other peoples opinion.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
Is this man ever wrong? I don't think so.
>>63777886
It's not that it 'needed' it but its attempts at the esoteric or mystical (The Force) have collapsed into a cartoonish satire of itself. Lazily represented to reap money from manchildren who grew up fascinating over Star Wars.
Though I suppose you wouldn't understand (or even try) since you're already bent at throwing insults because your beloved franchise has holes in it. Time to grow up.
Fuck him. I lost all respect for him after he praised American Sniper. Total buffoon.
>>63778052
>everybody else loves it.
Not really. Even on leddit I've seen numerous critical posts saying it's way too safe and too much like ANH.
>not agreeing with armond reviews
>pretending the internet is your movie hugbox where everything is fun and not liking it is heresy
>in 2015
I wish reddit would leave
>>63778064
he gave a bad review to Gravity or 12 Years a Slav, I think
WE WANT THE BBC
BIG
BLACK
CRITIC
>The “Luke, I am your father” revelation
That's not even the fucking line. Armond get's basic details wrong in the second fucking paragraph. Are you serious? Why the fuck do you cucks worship this fucktard?
>>63778064
How do they get away with literally banning him just because fanboys don't agree with his opinions?
>>63778099
>cares about anyone
We can meme all day son, but when are we gonna fuck?
>>63777956
What he meant to say is his prose is overly self-righteous and comes as incredibly pretentious.
>In 2009, following an eruption of controversy on the Rotten Tomatoes website over White's negative pre-general release review of District 9 (which ruined its 100% rating up to that point).
see, this guy just writes stupid shit in order to gain clicks. He's an old irrelevant and bitter guy.
>>63778047
hey 4chan!
>>63778148
its paraphrasing
Sometimes I think there are mostly new people on /tv/.
>>63778008
you are so hilariously buttblasted
did you actually think the movie would be good? or hell, even have a shred of originality
>>63778222
90% of the people here right now have never been here before this movie came out.
>>63778222
Most people on /tv/ right now have no idea who Armond White is.
>HURR IM A FUCKING STORMFAG RACIST WHO HATES THE NEW STAR WARS FOR POLITICAL AND RACIST REASONS HOW CAN I LEGITIMIZE MY CRITICISM TO LE BLUEPILLED SHEEPLE I KNOW ILL LATCH ON TO THE FIRST NO-NAME ATTENTION-WHORING HACK WHO WRITES A MILDLY CRITICAL VIEW OF THE MOVIE TO JUSTIFY MY INSANE RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, SEXIST BELIEFS TO ANONYMOUS STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET
FUCK YOU PIECES OF SHIT!
Armond is on point when it comes to black movies. His Precious and Straight Outta Compton reviews are GOAT
Would anyone else get turned on if Armond was in the room when you were fucking your gf. He could review the lovemaking.
>>63777883
Hello Reddit!
Seriously, only newfriends trying to fit in say that shit. Stop it. Reddit faggots are too busy shitting up Reddit to come shit on top of your pile of shit. You little shit.
Who would win in a fight?
Mark or Armond?
>>63778300
This
>>63777493
>although Rey’s competence with weaponry contradicts liberals’ convenient attitudes toward gun control.
BASED ARMOND DOES IT AGAIN
>>63778300
You've overstayed your welcome reddit
>>63778369
Armond would kick his shit in
man, I totally missed that Armond had to go full right wing nutjob after he lost his jobs at reputable publications
>>63778076
>implying sane person in this world would want to be a member of the cuck race
delusional
>>63778300
I don't really like Armond generally but his review is fucking spot on.
>>63778300
hi tumblr
>>63778400
I agree no one wants to be a nigger
>based critic placing swfaggots into gas chambers
Kek
>>63778222
theree are right now. this place is curerently full of tourists just here for star wars
>>63778452
Who are you quoting?
>>63778052
>needing to look up Armond
please go home, leave this board, there are so many of you force awakens newfags that the quality of posting is significantly diving.
>>63777395
wew lad
>>63777886
it needed some kind of esotericism, yes, thats a crucial aspect of the context of the force and the magic of the original trilogy.
Face it, you're quicker to criticise the review than actually engage rationally.
>>63778300
just trigger my impotent rage up
>>63777493
>>63777456
>>63777395
FUCKING SAVAGE, Jesus Christ. I was sold when he was tearing J.J. apart for shitting out products rather than art, but then he just kept going the absolute madman.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
Armond is pretentious criticism personified, but he has a really strong argument here. Particularly how he rails against he populist inertia of recent times. You've all seen it. It's what you're yelling about when you complain that something is "reddit". When something is for the sake of being recognizable rather than for any meaningful reason.
Fuck you, Armond.
>"Nerd culture is the product of a late capitalist conspiracy, designed to infantalize the consumer as a means of non-aggressive control."
- Simon Pegg
>"A sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly that he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times? I said, 'do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?' He burst into tears. I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities"
- Alec Guinness
>"I don't think they are making [comic book movies] an elevated art form, I think it's still just Batman running around in a stupid cape.. It's for kids, it's adolescent in its core. "
- David Cronenberg
>"I don't want to see or make films about super heroes that fly around in spandex and a cape solving the problems of the world. I think it's fine for children, children of all ages by the way, but it's not for me."
- William Friedkin
>“They have been poison, this cultural genocide, Because the audience is so overexposed to plot and explosions and shit that doesn’t mean nothing about the experience of being human.”
- Alejandro Iñárritu
>"Superman makes me vomit, Batman and all of that. That whole empire... this religion... It is so important that superheroes suffer... I don't give a damn, I shit on the United States."
- Alejandro Jodorowsky
>"To my mind, this embracing of what were unambiguously children's characters at their mid-20th century inception seems to indicate a retreat from the admittedly overwhelming complexities of modern existence"
- Alan Moore
>"It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!"
- Hayao Miyazaki
>"The movies are for children but they don't want to admit that... There is a small group of fans that do not like comic sidekicks. They want the films to be tough like The Terminator, and they get very upset and opinionated about anything that has anything to do with being childlike."
- George Lucas
>>63777395
He didn't even review the film. Here's the short version:
Fuck YOU librulz.
I imagine you can write that to any movie you want.
>>63778175
>there was an eruption of controversy over someone having an opinion about a movie
what the fuck LMAO
>>63778525
>Armond is pretentious criticism personified
Why bring this up if it has nothing to do with what you're actually going to say?
>>63778064
Because he gave a negative review to Toy Story 3. I'm pretty sure that was the one that got him kicked off RT.
PASTA HAS BEEN MADE. SHARE THIS DELICIOUS PASTA.
>>63777604
>EXTRA: ARMOND'S ORIGINAL REVIEW OF STAR WARS IN 1977:
>prosaic trash for illiterate, insensitive, and unintelligent . . . suckers, dummies, ass-holes, morons, perverts
HOW CAN ANYONE ONE MAN BE SO BASED????
WE KNOW NOT WHAT WE ARE BLESSED WITH
>prosaic trash for
>illiterate,
>insensitive,
>and unintelligent . . .
>suckers,
>dummies,
>ass-holes,
>morons,
>perverts
ALL HAIL
>>63778537
based as fuck
>>63778589
what a bad goy
>>63777456
>culminating in Luke’s fear and symbolic castration.
What?
>>63778537
I am showing you the superhero syndrome and your participation in it
--Frank Herbert
>>63777493
>a cultural evolution that evokes Obama (“I was taken from a family I’ll never know”) for global commercialism.
HEHEHEH I love White. Cheeky nigga.
>>63777551
He does look ashy doesn't he? Like an old alpha gorilla or a crack smoking nigger.
>>63777395
>so that feminists can rejoice at the Disney Corporation’s calculated political correctness
FUCKING BASED
>>63777493
Wait...What the fuck happened?
Armond quit trolling or something?
This is over the top..but at heart it's fairly accurate.
Jesus.
>>63778559
He's a gimmick contrarian who deliberately dropped negative reviews on things that were being universally praised, and likewise gave glowing reviews to turds
>>63778018
Reminder that Armond White is the only person that makes redditors go "fucking nigger"
>>63778576
>Taken with a grain of salt,
But more personal and significant.
>>63778632
His hand getting chopped off.
This is spot fucking on.
>product has not only taken the place of art; it has replaced myth
hnnnngh
>>63778683
So hands = male genitalia now?
>>63778018
He's OUR Nigger, motherfucker!
>>63778676
district 9 needed some criticism though, i mean i understand it was a fresh thing but looking back on it now with the added perspective given by blommkamp's later movies, there's a lot that can be dissected
>>63778679
This, it's amazing how quickly the left's true colors are shown when one of their supposed pets doesn't go along with the Narrative.
>>63778718
Everything is a penis in film. Except penises, those are guns.
>>63778670
it's sad and funny at the same time because it's true.
but he conveniently leaves out that Boyega nigger gorilla was cast for the VERY SAME reason.
>>63778680
Yes of course, we should always make sure to provide perspective on what we are talking about lest the children get the wrong idea. But wait, there aren't any children here.
>>63777493
This is the greatest review ever.
>>63778718
What is Only God Forgives?
>>63778141
Good. Those movies are shit.
>>63778800
It's a movie about being inside a vagina.
>>63778676
>"wahh wahhh why isn't he just writing "gud movie 10/10 i like it"
He's a critic. You don't even know what it is anymore, since 99% are just plebs and shills. Use your fucking brains and learn to think independently for once.
>I think it is fair to say that Roger Ebert destroyed film criticism. Because of the wide and far reach of television, he became an example of what a film critic does for too many people. And what he did was not criticism. And it was a kind of purposefully dishonest enthusiasm for product, not real criticism at all… He does NOT have the training. I think he simply had the position. He does NOT have the training. I’VE got the training. And frankly, I don’t care how that sounds, but the fact is, I’ve got the training. I’m a pedigreed film critic. I’ve studied it. I know it. And I know many other people who’ve studied it as well, studied it seriously. Ebert just simply happened to have the job. And he’s had the job for a long time. He does not have the foundation. He simply got the job. And if you’ve ever seen any of his shows, and ever watched his shows on at least a two-week basis, then you surely saw how he would review, let’s say, eight movies a week and every week liked probably six of them. And that is just simply inherently dishonest. That’s what’s called being a shill. And it’s a tragic thing that that became the example of what a film critic does for too many people. Often he wasn’t practicing criticism at all. Often he would point out gaffes or mistakes in continuity. That’s not criticism. That’s really a pea-brained kind of fan gibberish.
>In mainstream media and the internet, most people who are writing about films are simply writing from a fan’s perspective instead of a truly critical perspective. So what used to be termed "film critics" now is almost meaningless, because you just got a free-for-all of enthusiasms rather than criticism.
>>63778679
These are the same people that will wish death upon you and your family for spoiling a children's movie.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
Holy shit atomic rekt
>>63778825
>Use your fucking brains and learn to think independently for once.
>proceed to quote verbatim from some asshole who isn't you
Very original, anon.
>>63778829
Is this legit? Screencaps for lels, please.
>>63778169
Yeah but that has nothing to do with the "bigness" of words. He's a pretentious fuck with a good vocabulary. He could probably cut that review in half if he spent the time on it, but for everything he wanted to convey it's a decent length.
Everyone's missing the end of the review
>>63777604
>Star Wars turned their natural curiosity and wonder into self-satisfaction, artificially dependent on media and merchandising (a tragedy also evident in Apple and Pixar evangelism).
ARMOND CONFIRMED FOR ANDROID, STEVE JOBS FUCKED IN THE ASS WITH RED HOT POKER
BASED
>>63778769
Stick to RLM reviews, bud. This one is out of your league.
>>63777395
It must fucking suck to be this smart. Everything in a movie has some sort of commentary, allegory, or political/cultural parallels made intentional by the director and is referencing the works of an earlier movie or director.
>>63778076
>Star of David on Ron fucking Paul
topkek, they might as well call Hitler a Jew
Also this everyone in this pic is either an asshole or degenerate, except Finkelstein.
>I get my reviews from a confirmed contrarian and eat his shit up completely and unironically
You cucks are pathetic.
>>63778987
>he hasn't been to liberal arts college
It has nothing to do with intentionality of the director. The references are there regardless of the director's goal. The author is dead.
>Love of Star Wars is not love of cinema, just consumerist habit
KING OF /tv/
KING OF /tv/
KING OF /tv/
>>63778950
I tip my fedora to you homie!
>>63779017
>confirmed contrarian
that does not imply his views are not borne in him and sincerely his
>>63779017
>his opinion doesn't matter because I don't agree with it
I can't wait for you and the rest of the faggots ITT head for the hills after the ebin Star Wars buzz has finally fucked off.
>>63777395
>I CANT THINK FOR MYSELF
THATS YOU /TV/
>>63779061
best girl tbqphwymf
>>63779060
>The references aren't real
Everything is built off of everything that came before consciously or not. I think it's certainly possible that an educated man like Armond White can tell what a film director is thinking better than they can themselves.
STICKY WHEN MODS
>>63779072
>>63779078
Cool original thoughts, kids. I have an idea of what Armond's opinions are on a given topic. I have NO idea what your thoughts are on anything, since you don't have your own opinions. Just because you pick up on someone else's contrarian opinions doesn't make you original.
>>63779069
>can't counter an argument
>l-let m-me use a meme to sound cool!
Pathetic.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
>>63777604
Holy fuck, I want his dick in my butt. What a magnificent specimen of humanity.
Based Armond blowin the fuck out of plebs
>>63779099
2ritem8
>>63779198
He's gay you know. Maybe you could bond over your hatred of plebs?
>>63779184
> I have NO idea what your thoughts are on anything, since you don't have your own opinions.
Did you accidentally attend a class on how to out yourself as severely mentally handicapped individual instead of seeing the movie?
>people unironically defending the status quo and commercialism
Ah the middle class. The only people who receive the least but believe they are getting the best deal from our system. Keep buying those vastly inflated houses just like your parents. Surely this poorly built house with no insulation is worth 400k, makes perfect sense
>>63779315
Tell it like it is, brother! THE FIRE RISES!
>>63779078
you will be waiting until months after the 8th movie is done then
>>63778365
>trying to fit in
>on a anonymous picture board
heeeey reddit
>points out flaws in new movie and culture
>/tv/ rallies around based argument
>redditors come pouring out the woodwork to say shit like >>63779184 because they can't handle being this BTFO
A nigger wrote all that?
>a black guy working for nationalreview
What sorcery is this?
>yfw tumblr culture is BTFO by black man
>>63779494
hello reddit
>>63778148
He misquoted a line by innocently substituting one word with another and that somehow makes his point moot? The line is fucking irrelevant. The point obviously went over your head if that's where you got stuck. Moron.
>>63779494
>>63779550
How fucking new are you
>>63779184
Here's an opinion or two for you. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a mediocre retread and you are a fucking faggot.
>>63779592
New enough to give you puppies.
>>63777832
The old leftist speech in art. If it ain't agreeing with my point of view, it is politically despicable. If it is commercial, it can't be artistic. If it is made to sell, it can't have soul. That's such a poor, judgemental vision of cinema. Armond White, as many other critics and filmmakers, is the kind of guy that reduces everything to the dumb duality he thinks he lives in. People in /tv/ only like him because he likes disliking things, as do they.
Force Awakens was just fine.
>Armond White hates it
CONFIRMED MOTY
>>63779654
It's not our fault you have shit tastes.
>>63779654
Good art is left-wing.
I wonder how did he decide whether to like it or not.
I mean he's an edgy contrarian, and with half people liking and half people disliking the force awakens how exactly do you pick whose opinions to disagree with?that being said i agree with him
The amount of posters who are claiming to not know Armond White ironically or otherwise is solidifying my opinion that capeshit and blockbuster franchises like star wars have thoroughly shitted up /tv/.
Knowing that I share a forum with people who willingly go to a theater to watch movies released in the year 2015 is disheartening.
For a while there it was looking up. I guess all the patricians eventually leave.
Wow
>>63777395
>better than Star Wars’ other dismal episodes
>empire strikes back
>bad
IN THE FUCKING TRASH HIS OPINION GOES.
>>63779654
>Armond White
>leftist
kek
>>63777395
>JJ ON SUICIDE WATCH
I hope his carcass is wasted on topping himself before someone gets the pleasure of doing it for him...
>>63779550
>a black guy called White
>>63777456
>The “Luke, I am your father” revelation resonated because it expressed how George Lucas, like his movie-brat peers (Coppola, Bogdanovich, Scorsese, Spielberg, De Palma) struggled with Sixties generational ambivalence. A father–son antagonism resounds through all their films as a reflection of Vietnam-era student protests and the privilege of those draft-dodging filmmaker progeny. Even Lucas, in his escapist outer-space mode, iterated the era’s unease, culminating in Luke’s fear and symbolic castration.
Star Wars is a fun space soap opera, not a serious dramatic film
>>63779807
Empire Strikes Back is probably one of the most overrated movies ever made. It's the movie that the terms "meme movie" and "meme installment" were made for. I literally think that its revered status is a meme. At some point somebody made a nice case for Empire being the best Star Wars, then faggots wanting to sound smart too started saying it and then the opinion just caught on and rooted itself in the minds of the public. Prove me wrong.
And you're the affirmative so burden of proof is on you. Explain why Empire is a good movie. I don't dislike it but New Hope is GOAT.
>>63779771
/tv/ is the most popular board on 4chan.
It is full of normies.
>>63779869
>SW is stupid, like me
>>63778537
>best rapper
>2pac - nigger
>best film crtitic
>Armond - Nigge
>best actor
>Morgan Freeman - Nigger
>best president
>Obama - Nigger
>Best scientist
>Neil Degrasse - Nigger
>best athletes
>Niggers
When will whitebois admit that Niggers are the superior race?
>>63779900
Nice digits
>>63779914
Let me fix this for you:
>Rapper
Viper
>film critic
>Armond
>Actor
Ed Harris
>President
Not a freedom, I wouldn't know.
>Scientist
Science is the opiate of the neo-masses
>athletes
Opiate of the old-masses
>>63778537
Agree with all of them, but
>Simon Pegg
Fine, then stop making Star Trek movies.
>>63779914
but anon best president is trump and he's not even president yet
>>63779871
You sound like the most pretentious snob of all time. Fucking kill yourself you neckbearded faggot.
>>63779869
>don't criticize muh franchise's further descent into pleb territory
>>63778537
Also, Spielberg recently said that the superhero movie trend will end soon.
>The movies are for children but they don't want to admit that
Marvelfags BTFO
>>63779976
>pretentious snob
Eugh, I'm sick of people using this phrase. Like get a new defense people. Weak ass line.
>>63779735
No, it isn't. Good art is sophisticated, well thinked, well worked upon. It can be leftist. But it doesn't need to be. That's something all those Hollywood critiques who went to their french influenced cinema schools need to learn.
>>63777395
You can't argue with Jolee Bindo.
The dude is simply right.
>>63777456
>(although there is something of millennial ingratitude in the new filial confrontation
Fucking beautiful, the man is a wordsmith of the highest order.
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
>the face of my wife's daughter when she read Armond's review.
>>63780026
>thinked
>>63777493
>so that feminists can rejoice at the Disney Corporation’s calculated political correctness (although Rey’s competence with weaponry contradicts liberals’ convenient attitudes toward gun control.)
Feminists B T F O
>>63779976
wow nice argument you sure burned me with those hot opinions
>>63780053
>my wife's daughter
who cucked you anon
>>63778036
>armond has not introduced himself but has eaten off my plate twice without asking
Well, that does it, I'm watching BLACKED tonight.
>>63780248
I'd imagine that Armond actually wouldn't approve of that.
>>63780248
like every other night right.
>>63778036
>Critic so based, that the writer/director chosen to do the next Star Wars movie and write the third in the new trilogy too spends much of two days documenting his every move
How is this possible?
>>63777604
whoa where can i find these old ass reviews. I know he's always liked spielberg
>>63777883
>Calling people reddit while desperately and memetacularly clinging to the review of a black guy ice never heard of.
WEW.
He must have seen some fan film because it doesn't sound like he actually went to see Force Awakens.
>>63780375
>fan film
It's a good description of TFA, yes.
"b-but it was fun so what's the problem" - manchildren
>>63778036
"I prefer their cave man ads."
Blown the fuck out.
>>63780559
>no foulard
Into the trash, etc.
>>63779948
>Science is the opiate of the neo-masses
I would call you out on your bullshit. But since that's pretty much what "celebrity scientists" make it look like, I can't blame you.
Fucking ridiculous that a guy can still ride the coattails of reciting first year Science facts, and people worship him like he spent 50 years meditating on Mount Everest and can control the weather.
King of /tv/
The amount of /pol/ fedora tippers in this thread is disgusting.
As usual, he brings up some interesting points but then proceeds to hit way out of his weight class by attempting to assign some grander significance to the movie in question.
Nothing in this "review" talks about the actual film, and the only evidence I have that he actually saw it is that he knows the names of the characters (which you can look up with a simple google search).
This is the same guy who loved Jack and Jill, under no circumstances should you take him seriously. Ridiculous.
>>63778052
>known for his provocative and idiosyncratic film criticism, which some have characterized as contrarian.
He's literally /tv/ in reviewer form.
>>63780803
>ass status: fractured
>>63780803
Hey, when you make a ripoff of Episode IV there's no need to talk about the movie itself.
It's pretty hilarious because /tv/ hated this guy for literal years for his shitty opinions, until one day /tv/ eventually because just a cynical and all the shit opinions started to line up with his.
Is there anyone with more disgusting critical taste and a greater contrarian fetish than this monkey with a pen and /tv/?
>>63777395
Well looks like broken clock is right twice a day
>>63780834
>completely ignore the point where he loved Hack and Jill
>JACK AND JILL
Go on, please, continue you defend him and render your opinions on anything and everything utterly irrelevant.
>>63780863
I mean the guy is a hack, that doesn't mean he can't be right some times.
How can one man be so based?
>>63780863
/tv/ has become a place for borderline sociopaths who think schadenfreude and taking a piss on everything someone else values works anywhere in the real world outside the confinment of this board
>>63780881
You realize that you are /tv/, right?
>>63780916
>Transformers 1 bad
>Transformers 2 good
Top kek
>>63780932
What does that make you?
>>63780903
>if you agree with someones opinion once, you have to always agree with his opinion
are you literally and certifiable retarded?
>>63780903
>likes a bad movie and gets paid for it
You jelly?
At least he likes Coens and Ed Wright
>>63780930
He's the king
One might call the movie glib tbqh
>>63777395
Completely agree with this dude.
A visually good film with no proper substance in it.
>>63780992
It's more of a facsimilie
>>63780991
>ignored by literally everyone in this business except /tv/ readers
>king
yes, that's how influence works
>>63779914
>Neil Degrasse
>scientist
No. He only popularizes science, and is only known for that.
>>63778300
Relax, sonny. There's no need to be this upset over an opinion :^)
>>63780971
a visitor
>>63780916
He's a huge contrarian and as such a perfect idol for /tv/.
>>63781034
Tarantino talked about him in What the Flick just two weeks ago, same with Aronofsky, his autistic rants get posted on AVClub and Indiewire
He's really not that obscure.
>>63780916
>Transformers 2
>Terminator: Salvation
>Transporter 3
>Tyler Perry's anything
>The Nanny Diaries
>I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
>Fantastic Four 2
>Norbit
>Norbit
>Norbit
please face it, you wouldn't tell anyone in real life you like such movies. nor would he. this is literally just a sad facade.
>>63780053
>my wife's daughter
KEK
>>63778537
>>"Nerd culture is the product of a late capitalist conspiracy, designed to infantalize the consumer as a means of non-aggressive control."
>- Simon Pegg
why didn't you listen?
>>63781116
Tarantino is obsessed with being criticised, so it doesn't count. Aronofsky has gone full shit, so who cares.
Never saw him mentioned on AVClub desu. Indiewire is pleb.
Yes, big echoes there.
>>63778923
>>63777493
While he's basically a contrarian just for the sake of it and you can at least have some arguments against his points, I'm completely fucking speechless.
Watch as no one is able to argue with this and just says ''he's a pretensious contrarian, ignore him''
Filthy dumb nigger scum been smoking too much crack.
>>63777579
what does "leans in" mean
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
I want to orally pleasure that man
>>63781342
Disney pls you're supposed to be family friendly
>>63777395
>>63777456
>>63777493
>The Force Awakens is so shit it has me agreeing with Armond White
>>63777395
How Armond put out his top 10 list for 2015? I love that shit. Mostly Adam Sandler movies on there
>>63781468
yeah right, as if you didn't hue to him trashing every good movie in the last five years. Armond is basically giving you and other faggots here a handjob
>>63779061
Drinking Yebisu atm senpai so I feel obliged to post in agreement to you
>>63781182
I along with anybody who talks kino remotely seriously was thinking this for years. Do you think I or anybody on /tv/ is going to be the one who's going to prop up Superman Vs Batman?
>>63777395
>caring what a nigger thinks of Star Wars
>>63781773
>liking a good movie
>listening to a negro trashing said movie
the dillemmas of /tv/
>>63777395
>le contrarian pseudo intellectual nigger
He's a meme reviewer who just puts in a few words he found in a thesaurus, and mentions capitalism or politics. Then retards eat it up, because he always has the contrarian view like them
>>63778537
Can we get a version of this that's Star Wars specific? Preferably with quotes that trash the original films.
>>63781865
See >>63779061
I think he hits the issue pretty solidly there. Star Wars isn't film, it's a product that people have been conditioned to love that happens to share a format with film.
BASED ARMOND
STAR TURDS BTFO
REDDITORS WHO ENJOY SOULLESS COMMERCIAL "MOVIE OPERATIONS" BTFO
reminder these are the people hating based white
>>63782012
She looks pretty qt
>>63782012
Stop trying to force yourself as a meme, you irrelevant twitter thing.
>>63781826
Disney, please
>>63777604
>ARMOND'S ORIGINAL REVIEW OF STAR WARS IN 1977:
>prosaic trash for illiterate, insensitive, and unintelligent . . . suckers, dummies, ass-holes, morons, perverts
god damn, I didn't think Armond could actually get better. He's literally like god. Based Armond "The God" White.
>>63782061
you can't even see 80% of her face
>>63781826
>meme reviewer who just puts in a few words he found in a thesaurus
literally every reviewer does this
>>63777629
Armond knows way more about movies and is much smarter than turds like you who Disney is taking advantage of who actually like a dumb kid's commercial product.
Either stick to video games, or commit suicide.
>>63782012
>Tumblr Buzzfeed "y'all" types post here
I should have known
>>63777909
It always amuses me when some of you gringos complain about 'big words' and when you misspell shit. It's really embarrasing to say the least. Your language is very easy to use and learn. There were absolutely no complicated words or sentences on the article, maybe a little adornment to entertain, but that's it. Having a good vocabulary is really important, since you are able to enjoy the subtleties of a well written piece and to express yourself with precision, you faglord.
>>63778052
>shit-taste casuals who enjoy looking at shiny colors and space ships for 2 hours love it
wow, what an endorsement.
>>63778300
ooh, another 15-year-old from /v/ is mad not everyone likes his favorite shitty generic action flick of the month. lel
>>63782260
I found your post shallow and pedantic, desu senpai.
>>63779763
I think he does it the way we do and its whether "normies" like it or not, or whether it feels like its a full pander-job to get the masses to like it.
Was Boyega in Armond's spank-bank?
>>63779654
>Force Awakens was just fine.
FOR YOU.
>>63777456
>Luke, I am your father
>>63778676
If you use the word "contrarian", you're literally just an idiot. It's an invented concept by idiots with reddit sensibilities who are too fragile to deal with criticism of mediocre media that has widespread appeal.
It's a troubling manifestation of millennials' mental weakness. Seriously, the only people who would even entertain any "argument" involving the concept of being "contrarian" are weak, lazy idiots who can't deal with criticism substantively.
It it bothers you that much that people criticize mediocre mass-marketed shit designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, like Star Wars, breaking Bad, etc., you should find a safe bubble and stay there. Or kill yourself.
>>63782012
I fucking hope she means some sub-reddit or something and not here.
>feminists can rejoice at the Disney Corporation’s calculated political correctness
Film annihilated, time to move on.
Anxiously awaiting this year's Better-Than list.
>>63778987
It's super obvious how calculated the film is to superficially kowtow to many interests. It's a shitty business exercise in appealing to as many demographics as possible, in order to make as much money as possible. Many movies are like this, but this one is more pointedly calculated.
>>63782394
Thanks, I was trying to be a little pedantic so I'm glad that got across. However, I'm a little offended at the shallow part. The point is that some of you cunts don't know how to use your own language or even understand it completely. 'Big words', lol, what a fucking millenial thing to say.
>>63780803
>black critict supporters
>/pol/
Lmao
Nice tears turbo trans nigger manchild kikes. I hope you all get sprayed with sulphuric acid in the face by some durka durka.
All Hail Based Armond!
>every word of this fucking review
>JJ Abrams
>game-changing banality
JewJew destroyed in 3 words! The black man has won!
>>63777395
>Agreeing with armond white
Stay cucked /tv/
>>63782555
>turbo trans nigger manchild kikes
>hypes the review of an angry black man whilst remaining true to his racist hollow self
truly /tv/
>>63779763
It's at 95% on Rotten Tomatoes you nitwit
Mods should sticky this thread so reddit-video game players who give two shits about Disney's latest profit-generating "flick" rehash can view a bit of truth.
>>63777848
This
>Half the thread is people getting butthurt
Holy shit.
>>63782653
>rotten tomatoes
>>63782738
It just aggregates reviews it doesn't actually rate films you know
The average "person" who enjoys Star Wars would probably take a month to even attempt to write a movie review consisting of 2 pages.
>>63777395
He seems to be right on point, since people in this thread so far have said all kinds of things about him but do not seriously argue what he said.
>Armond White
Do people really think his reviews are intelligent
>>63782756
I do and TFA is shit.
We literally need a new thread to keep it on page 1
THE WORLD HAS TO KNOW
So it is confirmed his MsOTY will be The Cobbler, The Ridiculous 6 and Entourage?
>>63782787
I do.
>>63782849
He loved Sicario
>>63782884
I find that very hard to believe, considering that it's pretty mainstream from Villeneuve, just like Prisoners. He should find it easy to diss that one and like instead the new Transporter or something.
>>63782649
Hello down syndrome!
What did Armond think of Bridge of Spies? He loves Spielberg but hates Coens, right? But it's such a proud, American Capraesque film and the critical establishment has been underrating Spielberg a lot lately.
>>63782787
Do people really think the reviews saying "TFA is mostly a rehash and unremarkable, but hits all the right notes satisfyingly enough" are intelligent, and not implicitly part of the Disney money-making machine?
>>63782962
>White likes something
nobody cares or is aware of his review
>White trashes something
BASED
KING
truly /tv/
>>63782986
>Arnold White
>last name White
>is black
why are his arguments validated again?
>>63782962
He hated Bridge of Spies and now questions Spielberg's penis length
>>63782962
Ambivalent-negative
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/425696/bridge-spies-review
>>63783073
well considering Spielberg's first movie was about a random loser dealing with a based truck driver bully, I'd say it was known all along he is a repressed micropenis holder, whose "heroes" in the movie are pumped alter-egos of his
>>63782962
>>63783001
>>63783103
>Spielberg has lost the native all-American exuberance that made the atomic-bomb/refrigerator exploit in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so wondrous. Here, he mocks “duck-and-cover” Cold War training films, the public-school Pledge of Allegiance, and even Donovan’s “Big American breakfast” as part of obsolete cultural foolishness that deserves noir cynicism. This is pop art at its most disingenuous.
>>63778369
this guy is like a bootleg Ebert
all stupid postmodern navel gazing bullshit with a heavy dose of pretentious douchery ie "how dare I be subject to view this bad movie! HOW DARE THEY!!!"
Armond is the King
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428631/star-wars-force-awakens-social-justice-warriors-criticism
Here's a better review
>>63783116
>actually has a weekly column on a website
must be black minority priviledges
>can actually manage to shit on everything film-related every week
well I'll hand it to him, others would cave after sniffing their butthole this much
>>63783199
wait why would sjws now hate the new star wars?
abrams is pandering to them as hard as he can.
>>63783205
>>actually has a weekly column on a website
>must be black minority priviledges
Do you know what National Review is, anon?
>mfw copy-pasting Based Armond's review in every Star Redditors thread
>>63778036
fucking amazing
>>63781884
>Star Wars isn't film, it's a product that people have been conditioned to love that happens to share a format with film.
This. This is a money printing exercise, for the moronic masses to transfer funds to 1%ers pockets. Nothing more. Push button, receive money. Its no different than snake oil salesmen, feng shui professionals, psychics ESPs and other frauds. All you need is a shiny mirror and some gunpowder (see michael bay and explosions) and the mouthbreathers that walk the earth will gladly empty their pockets, and cheer for more
>>63783271
either
>being this new to a story that is two years old
or
>samefagging
truly /tv/ either way
>>63783292
>Star Wars isn't film
>Adam Sandler films are films
sure
>>63783338
>>63783338
how about neither
>>63783242
>sjws
>needing reasons to hate
>ever
>>63782653
rotten tomatoes is just consensus of movie critics who are just toadies for the movie industry (except the KING)
its just advertising.
>>63783338
>>63783403
how about Adam Sandler is, JJ Abrams isn't.
>>63783430
But anon, what if one day they like a movie you like too?
>>63783403
I'm sorry, but that's what the "king" dictates
>>63783430
Which is why TFA will never, ever go down below 90%.
>>63783449
what does that have to do with anything
doritos have advertisment
I like doritos
>>63783430
>movie critics write for the industry
>/tv/ fags endlessly going from GET HYPE to REKT SUICIDE WATCH do it for...
you're all part of the machine
I can appreciate how he critiques the culture of modern society while judging the movie but I don't give a fuck about
>feminists
>liberals’ convenient attitudes toward gun control
Hey. Who fucking cares. Tell me about the fucking movie outside of the context of our current social environment because it's something I'm not acclimated to. I don't watch the news. I watch movies. Also
>There’s no visual or spiritual excitement, as there was even in a cynical sci-fi product like Ridley Scott’s Prometheus
thinking there was a single redeeming quality of Prometheus besides the space axe meme, much less visual or spiritual excitement and I'm a huge Ridley Scott fan as this movie will forever be my shit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q80IE32SlXM
>>63783498
>I like doritos
How fat are you?
>>63783338
lol, he didn't say that.
Please explain how TFA isn't a money-making exercise designed to transfer money from dumb plebs to Disney.
>>63783528
It's part of le contrarian critic maymay desu
>>63783338
Obviously you haven't read The Analysis
http://pastebin.com/uC2kxfjp
>>63783545
>Sandler and Bay movies are his MOTY
>he didn't say that
please explain how you can be such a denying fag servant
>>63783528
Yeah I like Armond a lot and he often has good insight, but he reaches a bit too far sometimes to find political subtext.
You're wrong about Prometheus though. It had major problems, but it was visually remarkable. Beautiful, detailed, and original enough visually.
>>63783577
I was talking about the post by anon. It was about the commercial nature of TFA. Anon didn't praise Sandler films (although I know Armond has).
>>63783658
anon said "this" to "Star Wars isn't film". it includes approval of such a statement
>>63783658
as for the rest, I'm sorry, but you do know we're talking about Star Wars, right? picking on the commercial nature of this franchise, ever since New Hope blew up and create a legion of faggot fans of all ages, is like the easiest criticism you can take out of the shelf. I am confident none of you autists, nor the black baboon himself, could find an angle in which a SW would satisfy non-commercial cinematic orientation
>>63783750
> I am confident none of you could find an angle in which a SW would satisfy non-commercial cinematic orientation
I admit this would be difficult, but not impossible. Still, when a movie is so obviously reliant on worn-out plot elements and superficial accouterments from its franchise, with little else to offer, hires the king of the 6/10, competent action movies, and whose marketing is ubiquitous, it's difficult not to criticize it for being a shallow commercial exercise.
"fans" will just have to deal with it, because it's so obvious and true.
>>63783750
>non-commercial Star Wars
directed by Panos Cosmatos
