53 Fresh. 0 Rotten. How high will it go?
How much did Disney pay out for this?
74. First rotten will be 75. My dad works at rotten tomatoes just trust me
waiting for based Armond White's review.
>>63699447
>yfw he goes double contrarian and gives it a good review
oh god
>>63699416
i figure at least $1,500 per critic so far
What kind of bigot racist sexist would give this a bad review?
It's the current year
>>63699419
62 will be the first rotten
my dads better than your dad
63. First rotten will be 64. My dad is a cop just trust me
>first Star Wars still better than all the rest.
>>63699395
Im glad its getting such good review, but im a little dissapointed to hear that its a rehash of 4
This is a fucking travesty. The movie being a failure would have chased all the redditors off /tv/, but now they're here to stay for another month
>>63699395
Depends how much they're paying... of course the bar was set very fucking low previously...
>>63699469
I mean, seriously.
calling it
80 fresh
6 rotten
in the next 2 hours
I usually use http://www.watchfreemovies.ch/watch-movies/ to watch shit because I'm too lazy to download anything. Does anyone else use a site like this, that is better? I wanna know when some fags camrip hits the net and where to watch it.
>>63699480
WOW ANON SO PATRICIAN. IM SURE GLAD YOU POSTED THIS TWICE SO WE CAN SEE HOW PATRICIAN YOU ARE
It's gonna be a big score.
>>63699477
>>63699419
The first rotten will be at 102. My dad buys and sells dads like yours.
This is encouraging, but it's important to keep in mind that even a giant mound of pig shit would look good after the prequels.
>>63699491
Mad Max: Fury Road did terribly in theaters, but people still yap about it.
There goes your theory.
>>63699416
One junket per reviewer. And that's literally it. Because anything else would be a fucking conspiracy and you are a retard for believing that.
Also I'm not a Jew, if you're curious.
Is this the end of republicans on /tv/?
The movie of the decade has a female and a black male lead. It must KILL you guys on the inside to know you lost the culture war.
Then again, progress always win. Welcome to the end of the line, right-wing scum.
>implying they aren't all rotten so far
>>63699531
>not a Jew
confirmed jew
>>63699531
>Also I'm not a Jew, if you're curious.
ok read all the reviews they all seem to be saying
the entire movie feels like a remake of older movies with new characters
and that its not good but looks nice
60-0
>>63699505
No problem :^)
>>63699480
I'm gonna watch this movie, not because I love Kurosawa (he is ok) but to see firsthand where the fuck this meme comes from.
I swear to God it better be good.
>>63699563
That is exactly what I wanted
>>63699525
Mad Max appeals to a very specific audience. basically people who would normally love Transformers / Fast and the Furious movies but are too autistic to be normies. of course they're still talking about it, movies for them are almost never made.
>>63699463
Oh shit
>>63699552
you do know that ratings aren't correlated with ticket sells, right?
>>63699576
Its good. Its literally New Hope
>only a 8.5
JJ BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
HIS CAREER IS OVER
>>63699464
Putting aside the fact that they wouldn't just cut the critics a cheque (you'd think they'd avoid methods that would be quite so obviously scandalous) if you could buy critics that cheaply, they'd be mad not to.
Who here enjoying white people tears?
Wow, this is going to have a similar final rating to Fury Road.
>>63699576
Despite the rampant meming it's legitimately a pleasure to watch. A very well balanced and visually striking film.
>>63699596
I will keep this in mind when I watch. I want parallels, god damn it.
>>63699395
FIRST NEGATIVE REVIEW
(naturally it's marked fresh and disguised as a positive review)
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-star-wars-force-awakens-review-20151217-column.html
POST
>YFW
YOU REFRESH THE PAGE AND SEE
>ROTTEN: 1
>>63699608
/tv/ also said that movie was going to fail too.
Always do the opposite of what /tv/ says
>>63699587
But the original comment you were responding to was about ratings, not tickets
>>63699603
it's just a review, they're not going to spend more than a couple thousand bucks at the most
and they obviously didn't just send out checks or give the money, more like free merchandise
>>63699395
So far, 59
60
>>63699581
This desu
>>63699607
Ah the serial shitposter from /r9k/ and /pol/ now come to /tv/ to post that disgusting red-coated anime thing.
Go back to where you really belong
>>>/a/
>>63699620
I won't give a shit desu senpai
>>63699615
>the most hotly anticipated motion picture
Can we really trust this guy as a reviewer if he doesn't know the difference between a flick and a motion picture?
>>63699620
>>63699615
This is why RT sucks. There's absolutely no nuance and the fresh/rotten binary metric is hidden, almost certainly arbitrarily decided by whoever curated the review. I doubt they ask reviewers for a YES or NO binary determination. What kind of actual reviewer would offer one?
>>63699648
Hide anime pictures
Ignore anime posts
Do not reply to anime posters
>decide to read the first review
>New York Times
>the reviewer literally says that the films greatest accomplishment is making the three leads a Latino, a black man and a woman
Do reviewers even care about quality anymore? Why am I getting afraid that this will be another Supergirl....critical darling because of its political leanings, but regular viewers don't like it because it actually isn't very good.
>>63699678
stay salty /tv/
SW TFA is MOTY
>>63699666
I actually reverse image searched that thing and found it was an underage girl. Mighty ironic that the last time you were posting it you were complaining about pedos.
Maybe your entire persona is... projection.
606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060
>>63699690
you can say the same thing about jessica jones
we live in a world where the intent and agenda behind media is more important than the media itself
>>63699690
>Do reviewers even care about quality anymore?
I think it's something they have to try to fit in as best they can.
>>63699620
>>63699628
While I agree that an individual review shouldn't be worth much to the filmgoer, it can't be denied that the aggregator sites have become very influential. Therefore, those individual reviewers assume an outsize importance.
Look at what's going on here, let alone all the normies who adopt 80% as a threshold of a film worth seeing.
can you imagine the one brave soul who would dare give this a negative review and incur the wrath of all those people?
>it's treason then...
>>63699692
I have no doubt it's good and will win a lot of awards. That doesn't mean it's a masterpiece. But a pleb (most of /tv/) would see 100% and assume that it is.
Why /tv/ even gives a shit about RT when it claims to be patrician, I do not know.
>>63699648
>>63699666
I don't know man, I don't know what they are, but I kinda wanna fuck those things
>>63699480
>only 28 reviews
>only 0.1 point higher
Wew, lad. You tried.
>>63699732
i hope its mark kermode
mark kermode will shit all over anyone trying to threaten him
>>63699734
not RT's fault normies dont understand how the site works
>>63699690
>New York Times
has been a fucking joke for years m8. get with the times.
I cant wait for Kurt Loder's review on reason.com. It's gonna be real.
>>63699731
I'm not the pedo anime watcher here pham. You are hated by societies everywhere-- the left, the right, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, communists and fascists.
>>63699709
I miss the world where pandering to a bunch of subhumans and liberals wasn't a deciding factor in reviews of something.
>Abrams has adopted the relatively cautious strategy of essentially remaking the original "Star Wars," which allows him to delight fans by bringing back the original players while laying down the groundwork of the new ones.
Didn't he learn his lesson from Star Trek Into Darkness? Apparently not.
>>63699541
THIS
Rotten Tomatoes = Sheev
/tv/ = those Jedi that showed up with Mace Windu and were all "OH SHIT DIS NIGGA IS SPINNIN IN AIR AT US WTF-"
OH SHIT
>>63699607
>>63699666
>>63699731
Reported
Go back to >>>/a/
ONE ROTTEN HOLY FUCK
>>63699783
But Star Trek Into Darkness was not a remake of WoK. It was a horrible fucking bastardization of the film. And the reboot was the wholly original Star Trek that preceeded it.
However shitty Into Darkness was (very fucking shitty), the actual reboot was not bad.
>>63699778
it was money before and its still about money now
RRRRRRRRRYGHSHHHHHHF WHAT THE FUCK WHO POSTED A ROTTEN REVIEW WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
roger moore i have no clue who you are but you are my fucking hero
http://rogersmovienation.com/2015/12/16/movie-review-star-wars-redux-aka-the-force-awakens/
do you think this guy was bullied for having the same name as roger moore
ONE ROTTEN
>>63699815
>horrible fucking bastardization of the film
so, essentially, a remake. just a really fucking bad one.
>>63699800
You realize avatarfagging is against global rules?
Also
>implying I'm American
>you're also a libcuck
>>63699829
Bomb's threats and squatting are on their way.
>>63699620
You drones are clamoring for anything you can get, aren't you?
1 rotten
>>63699477
>>63699478
So damn close m80s.
>>63699477
>>63699478
/pol/ was right!!
>>63699829
>62/63 = 1.0 -> 100%
kek
>>63699829
KEKED
U
C
K
E
D
Every review is like
IT'S SO GOOD
it's a complete rehash of 4
IT'S SO GOOOOOOD
a glib, unenlightened facsimile. I do not tip my fedora to this flick.
J.J ON SUICIDE WATCH
>/polgbtv/ fags blown the fuck out
>I-I always liked it!
Who hear enjoy the tears?
>>63699839
I think they deleted it. Clicking it brings me to a random page of positive ones, and there are so many popup ads I can't navigate it
>>63699871
SHIT
I FUCKING HATE FASCIMILES
Roger Moore placed in witness protection
>>63699829
this faggot>>63699477
>>63699477
>>63699478
these guys literally work at RT
>But “The Force Awakens” boils down to a couple of genuine lump-in-the-throat moments, and those are due to nostalgia. The rest? Seen it, done it, been there, and remember it — even though it was “a long time ago.”
-Roger "The hero of /tv/" Moore
ITS A BOOTY SHIT BUTT
>>63699871
>Roger Moore
I'm going to have to go with James Bond on this one guys, he does after all have a license to kill.
>But “The Force Awakens” boils down to a couple of genuine lump-in-the-throat moments, and those are due to nostalgia. The rest? Seen it, done it, been there, and remember it — even though it was “a long time ago.”
JJ BTFO
confirmed fucking shit
>>63699829
B L O W N T H E F U C K O U T
THE
FUCK
OUT
JJS FINISHED
>>63699920
move aside Armond theres a new nigga in town
Don't plan on watching it, does the black guy die?
>>63699846
Who is Bomb and what is squatting?
>>63699934
>yfw /tv/ won in the end
>>63699395
>People her actually wants the movie to be bad
I though it was just ebic maymay as always. But why is bad that we have a good and new Star Wars movie?
>>63699960
forgive me i am russia
>Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens 2015 720p - AN0NYM0US
>>63699996
BECAUSE STAR WARS IS SHIT AND SO IS JJ
>>63699837
>the only rotten review reads exactly like the fresh ones minus the apologetic summary
>>63699978
>in the end
m8 it hasn't even begun
IT'S ALL OGRE! THE HONEYMOON IS OVER! THE FALL HAS BEGUN.
>>63700000
Czeched
>>63699978
>It's a huge critical/commercial success
>meanwhile all /tv/ can do is jerk off to their cuck fantasies and cry about sheeple
Can't wait for you faggots to be wrong yet again with Ghostbusters :^)
>The nigger gets lukes and anakins lightsaber.
Wow when doesn't /tv/ get BTFO, All plebs at the end m8
CRACK IS OUT
>CRACK IS OUT
CRACK IS OUT
>CRACK IS OUT
CRACK IS OUT
/tv/ now crashing this RT score.
>>63699871
Holy Christ, could this guy's review read ANY worse? A poorly written, typo ridden groan without any coherent critique other than "IT'S LIKE THE OLD ONE AND, THUS, BAD"
>>63700027
is this true? Please tell me this isn't true...
>Adam Driver is Hayden Christensen reborn, in essence, a somewhat amusing menace with the helmet on, that tall, skinny, curly-headed funnyman from “Girls” and “This is Where I Leave You” with it off.
my sides are in orbit
finally an honest review
hes saying the same thing everyone else is saying that's giving it 9s but describing it at as a 6/7
he's the real review that others are describing but not posting
>>63700027
Actually the chick gets it because he jobs hard and drops it.
>>63699996
Rehashing ANH isn't new
>>63700059
>didn't read the review lamo XD
>>63700062
Have you not seen like any of the trailers?
So it's better than A New Hope, but not as good as The Empire Strikes Back. Based Jew Jew does it again.
A
GLIB
FASCIMILE
>>63700093
I've avoided them all. I'm going in raw.please don't reply with a spoiler
>>63699620
>>63700115A GLIB FASCIMILIE
>>63700059
this guy is probably the only reviewer who waited until he saw the movie before writing anything, so he didn't get to redraft what he wrote.
>>63700115
Smlyo Smen kills Sman Smolo
>>63699395
Rotten tomatoes is literally a corporate shilling site.
Their reviews have value exclussively for trolling purposes.
>>63700115
>pls don't spoil
>still hangs out in TFA threads
You deserve it.
>>63700059
Yes, because I would have TOTALLY noticed the typos if I didn't actually read it. It looks like it went through no editing whatsoever.
To its (small) credit, one typo was fixed between when I posted that and now. Someone fixed "Lei" into "Leia" but there are still a slew of poor edits and that says NOTHING about how shitty the review itself actually reads.
GameFAQs blog/10
>>63699996
/tv/ is hopelessly contrarian
earlier today they were saying TPM actually wasn't so bad. they've gone full circle and full retard.
>>63700115
good luck around here lol
>>63700115
>Going in raw
>Goes on /tv/
What the fuck
>>63699843
A GLIB FASCIMILE
>But “The Force Awakens” boils down to a couple of genuine lump-in-the-throat moments, and those are due to nostalgia. The rest? Seen it, done it, been there, and remember it — even though it was “a long time ago.”
JJ BTFO
cucks BTFO
thank you based James Bond
>>63700148
are we reviewing reviews?
>reading through a review
>spends half the time gloating about how diverse the cast is and how great JJ is for doing that
What the absolute fuck, I thought this was a movie review and not a sjw tumblrina circlejerk?
>>63699871
I hope the clicks to your shitty wordpress blog were worth it, you contrarian fuck
>>63699395
G L I B
L
I
B
Chris Stuckman's review
https://youtu.be/zBMW3y86cpo
he loved it btw.
>>63700198
buthurt shill is butthurt
>>63700151
>implying that's not reddit
>implying you're not reddit
>>63700219
>Stuckman
>>63700228
Butthurt Bond is butthurt.
>>63699395
I never really liked the original Star Wars, but they still had a cool unique atmosphere to them, and some good moments.
Does the new movie have the same atmosphere, or it it just super shiny Abrams style sci-fi shit?
>>63699395
ALL THIS GLIB....
>>63700228
Fix your shitty website, buddy. Also hire a copy editor with your AdSense clicks.
>mfw reading the comments in roger moore's review
the saltyness is amazing
THANK YOU JAMES BOND
GLIB
>post yfw all the fresh reviews are really rotten but are giving it a high score just to give it a high score
>>63700241
this is true though
Star Wars spawned a whole phenomena and was hugely inspirational to millions and millions of people
This is just...another sci fi flick. It won't be relevant like star wars was.
>>63699878
>the dark knight rises still listed as a great movie
>you think this has any real meaning
>>63700288
Listen up you dim witted, pube flossing, herpes herder, I pray that the cancerous warts that no doubt pepper your face and back are infused with the squirt juice of an obese gypsy and that you die shrived and crunched like the mountain of shaved foot fungus that you are.
holy shit this thread is pure autism. You faggots been sitting here through the night, watching the movement of score? what the fuck
>>63700374
that is some serious top banter right there
it got deleted though
>>63700381
you're here with us friend.
It's like poetry
facsimiles of a line over and over
GLIB
L
I
B
>>63700381
what else should I be doing?
Sleeping? lmao
>>63700381
/tv/ is heavily invested in this film's failure
![1437012380002[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/F76LN4r.jpg "1437012380002[1].jpg")
>>63700323
>mfw /tv/ was wrong AGAIN
>>63699878
Right here, senpai. Love these salty faggots desperately clinging to anything they can get.
>>63700381
our penises won't move on their own, this is the closest to that experience we can get
>>63700429
>It actually sounds like something Roger Moore's James Bond would say.
What the fuck lmao
/TV/ IS WRONG YET AGAIN
/TV/ REDDITORS ARE GONNA DAMAGE CONTROL AND CLAIM THEY ALWAYS HAD HOPES OF IT NOT BOMBING
/TV/ ON SUICIDE WATCH
/TV/ BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
JJ awakened your tears, cuckfags.
>>63699996
>But why is bad that we have a good and new Star Wars movie?
They want the movie to fail, because the movie was literally built around forced multiculturalism, rather than trying to construct a good movie with good actors. And that isn't something we need more of in Hollywood
Then again, Star Wars has never had good acting. While there are plenty of quality actors in bit parts, Hamill wasn't particularly good back then (he has actually become a good actor as he got older), and Jake Lloyd and Haden Christensen were both godawful.
But yea TL;DR - /tv/ is afraid of bullshit political posturing replacing legitimate casting.
>>63700381
My life is naught but a glib facsimilie.
>REDDI/TV/ BTFO
Get used to it ;)
>>63699395
is http://piratetorrents.net/star-wars-episode-vii-the-force-awakens-2015-dvdrip-full-movie/ legit?
>>63699499
wrong faggot
>review embargo ended at 12:01 GMT
>50+ reviews posted instantly
>consensus within minutes that looks like something disney drafted
So does anyone actually believe this crap?
>>63699395
C E R T I F I E D F R E S H.
E
R.
T
I
F
I
E
D
F
R.
E
S.
H
All I want to know is this: how much BBC does Rey take?
>>63701434
All 12 inches
>>63700323
every review
IT'S SO GOOOOOOOOOD
(it's a lazy carbon copy of ANH)
GOOOOOOD, SO GOOOOOOD
>>63701441
... FROM HER MOUTH!
http://rogersmovienation.com/2015/12/16/movie-review-star-wars-redux-aka-the-force-awakens/
The rotten review 2/4 stars JJ BTFO
>>63699480
i dont see how no one notices r2d2 and c3po are the 2 escaped servants
ones exact arm movements and panicky disposition are identical to c3pos.. or c3po is identical to his
>>63701679
all of the 20-30 living Star Wars fans who have seen Hidden Fortress immediately recognize all the commonalities.
>>63699395
Here is the general concensus of the movie from the biggest danish review boards.
This is next to the movie when i want to purchase tickets.
HOLY SHIT THEY ARE ACTUALLY BANNING MOORE FROM RT BECAUSE OF THIS
ITS OVER THE SHILLS WIN
>/tv/ being contrarians and desperate for a major release movie to fail
What else is new?
>>63701742
This, with an embarrassing, forced maymay to boot.
>>63701718
Source? Still shows his review on the site.
>>63701718
your whole basis for thinking the movie is garbage is because it has a black guy in it
>>63701742
its the same on every board
>>63701718
>HOLY SHIT THEY ARE ACTUALLY BANNING MOORE FROM RT BECAUSE OF THIS
I mean, shitposting IS frowned upon.
Can someone just spoil this shit already? I already know Trayvon martin uses lukes and anakins lightsaber and that's reason enough for me to never watch it.
>>63700995
Best troll would be if it was a copy of a new hope.
G L I B F A S C I M I L E
>>63699615
he's literally saying boyega is the worst actor in it and can't handle it. no wonder all the reviews are positive, noone dare call out the singular black man
![####]##]]##].png](https://i.imgur.com/z3n4Rvp.png "####]##]]##].png")
thinking about going to see stars wars alone alone tomorrow morning since i can't wait until people are free to come with me, is going to the cinema alone weird? Will I be laughed at or notice?
I'm just here to say that the mask of Kylo Ren is stylized depiction of the face of Darth Vader unmasked.
>>63701860
That would actually be pretty funny. It would make me "Laugh", if you will, anonymous.
There is literally no way this would be getting a rotten review. It's was never going to be anything but fresh.
You don't spend billions on a franchise and get bad reviews.
The first Avengers, which is a gigantic pile of absolute garbage, just complete crap that rivals Michael Bay's output, has a solid 90% or something on RT.
>>63702013
>The first Avengers, which is a gigantic pile of absolute garbage, just complete crap that rivals Michael Bay's output
/tv/ BTFO
/pol/ BTFO
>>63699395
>53 Fresh. 0 Rotten.
"fresh" = ≥5/10 -- "watchable"
>>63701718
What the glib did you just glibbing glib about me, you glib facsimile? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Piffle, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on my fellow critics, and I have over 300 confirmed glibs. I am trained in piffle warfare and I’m the top critic on Rotten Tomatoes. You are nothing to me but just another glib facsimile. I will wipe you the glib out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my glibbinging words. You think you can get away with saying that piffle to me over the Internet? Think again, J.J. Abrams. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Rotten Tomatoes and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Force, you hack. The Force that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call "The Force Awakens". Your movie is a glib facsimile, kiddo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can critizize you with over seven hundred words, and that’s just with my dictionary. Not only am I extensively named after a character from James Bond, but I have access to the entire thesaurus of Dictionary.com and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your PC movie off the face of the Internet, J.J. Abrams. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “original” movie was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your glibbing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the piffle, you glib facsimile. I will glib all over you and you will drown in it. You’re glibbing dead, facsimile.
>>63702013
What the fuck are you talking about?
It already got the "glib fascimile" rotten review
>>63702041
If you are implying the avengers is a good movie, your taste is terrible.
someone glib the IMAGINE fascimile
CONFIRMED FOR BLUNDER OF THE CENTURY. STAR WARS FAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH.
GET BTFO ABRAMS.
>>63702410
It's all ogre
second rotten review
http://www.salon.com/2015/12/16/star_wars_the_force_awakens_you_know_all_the_spoilers_in_j_j_abrams_obsessive_reboot_because_youve_seen_this_movie_before/
>>63700241
this is literally true
You are fucking idiots. This is like /v/ talking about call of duty 25, ignore it and get on with your life m8s
>>63699395
/POL/ BTFO
another rotten one boys
the glib facsimile rises
>>63702464
This will be the most common complaint.
But it's exactly what J.J. was hired to do. Deliver a soft reboot of the franchise.
>[Abrams ] has made an adoring copy of Star Wars, seeking to correct its perceived flaws, without understanding that nothing about that movie's context or meaning or enormous cultural impact can be duplicated.
BTFO
>>63702620
Yes. But with all his fan service possibilies, by making a copy JJ took the easy road.
>>63702661
makes me sad basically what I get out of that is he tried to turn a girl and a black guy into the next trademark characters that will be talked about for generations
without understanding that's not how it works luke leia han and the gang weren't aware they were going to be so iconic
these characters will be easily forgotten
>>63702668
It's not even so much that it's the easy road, it's that it's the safest road.
This a multi-billion dollar investment by Disney. He's going to deliver exactly what the least discerning of fans wants and nothing that will rock the boat.
It's just a job. The guy is a TV hack, not a "real" writer/director.
2.5/5
50%
"fresh"
How?
>>63702769
RT confirmed disney shills
97 %
3 ROTTEN
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>63700219
of course he fucking loved it. Is there anything this cancerous fanboy doesn't love?
>>63699395
/pol/ BTFO
>>63700000
RUSSIA
U
S
S
I
A
CHECKED AS FUCK
