Star Wars Premier Spoilers
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This is it folks, the spoiler review you've been looking for. This guy's ID'd himself so it's a pretty safe bet this is real. Obviously, heed the spoiler tags if you don't want it spoiled.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/3wv3c2/gameday_thread_star_wars_premiere/cxzkmy3"Once the excitement dies down, you start to peel back the layers and realize there aren't any. It's time to kill the death star again again. The movie spends so much time referencing the past, walking you through the Musem of Star Wars that you wind up lost in the musem... with little reason to root for the new leads."
>>63666716
>"Do you have a cute boyfriend? =^.^="-BBC Willims
>"Enter me" - Rey Fuxx
This can't be real?
>>63666716
Ebin
>After all these star wars, finally... the force awakens
FUCKING DROPPED
http://pastebin.com/jcHuwZKT
Confirmed for cUck wars
LUKE
NEVER
SPEAKS
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVEN PASS THE FIRST LEVEL OF SCRIPT APPROVAL
FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOW IS THIS ALLOWED
Is this like the ending to the star wars from the 70s or something? Is it something big or just another stupid remake
OP's link is legit
great now i can go back to my dull shitty life
>>63667276
> Realizes anon is telling the truth
> Mark Hamill doesn't get a line
J.J.!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Phasma does jack shit for the movie
episode 8 right guys?
Man, they really fucked up with a dull story; the spoilers are dead on, and they seemed too shit to be real.
Seems like it has the imagery of the OT and the emptiness of the PT.
"Both Finn and Rey have lightsaber duel with Kylo in the forest on the Starkiller planet/base. Finn is badly wounded and spends rest of the movie in a coma. Rey finally falls in love with him. (He loved her from the first sight.)"
>>63667418
>Don't have the imagination of lucas
fuck it lets copy the original trilogy thanks for the billions of dollars dipshits
>>63667462
>starkiller base has forest and nature on it
What? For what purpose?
>>63667600
I'm fairly certain that it was a planet before it became a gun.
>>63667600
Food would be a good answer.
So the film is garbage? Happy to hear that.
>>63667462
>Kylo Ren's real name is Ben. He was trained by Luke but then turned to the Dark Side which was the reason for Luke blaming himself and disappearing.
>master goes into exile after his student turns evil
wow, real original, guys, never seen this before in Star Wars
>>63667620
Seems like it.
Imagine: We haven't time to build our own Death Star, lets cut 2/5 of random planet and wreck GIANT GUN in.
>>63667642
>Planet without a sun that randomly travels through space
>having any Vegetation left
>>63667695
I thought you literally meant "for what purpose?" when you asked.
http://boards.theforce.net/threads/the-new-rumor-intellectual-thread-of-seriousness-for-sophisticated-discourse.50024907/page-2522#post-52962119
>>63667644
Yes. I for one look forward to the fresh dank maymays.
>She kisses him on the cheek in friendship, not the lips. There's no way JJ and company want the audience to believe she's madly in love with Finn. You'll see what I mean.
Also, JJ is only doing this movie and has nothing to do with the rest of the trilogy.
>>63667738
>guy desperately claiming the premier pass must be a fake
christ, i honestly feel bad for him
>>63666716
>They literally pull a sheet off of R2D2 like Steve Jobs revealing a fucking iPhone
>jay1638
> It sounds then that this Pastebin post is accurate: http://pastebin.com/jcHuwZKT
Can you confirm?
>barrygibbFan
>Yeah to the T, confirmed.
Fuck every single thing.
>>63667695
Photosynthesis and the laws of thermodynamics are memes.
Haven't you seen the Matrix?
>>63667738
>No way! This isn't LOST.
loving every laugh. bravo, jj.
>>63667647
Jew's really have no creativity do they
>>63667914
Spielberg at JJ's age had fifty times the creativity.
Hell, now that he's old he has forty times the creativity.
Fuck this I'm shifting my hype to the BFG. Now that looks like a loving adaptation.
>>63667273
What a fucking disaster. All of it.
>A New Hope 1.5: Tune In Next Year For Anything To Be Explained
I thought it would be safe and bland but this actually sounds quite bad.
>spend the weeks leading up to this planning on being satisfied whether it's shit or not since if it turned out alright then we'd be in good shape and if it ended up being shit at least we'd have dank memes to enjoy for years to come
>now that it's looking like a confirmed pile of shit it hurts
I didn't expect it to hurt, guys.
>>63667975
>Spielberg
He only ever wrote Close Encounters. He was just able to acquire fuckloads of money from studios.
>>63668031
JJ has never made anything good
>>63668007
All I fucking wanted was safe and bland. What the fuck were they thinking making the whole movie a cliffhanger like this? It's not like it wasn't going to get a sequel. It's not like people were going to pay for sequel tickets solely because they wanted to know what would happen next. It should have concluded.
It should have attempted to stand alone.
>>63666716
I hope you guys are spreading this all over the site
Han Solo met an end like that , good grief
What happened to the speedy rogue
>>63668041
>He only ever wrote Close Encounters
By far better than anything JJ has written.
Reminder that Super 8 was just a Close Encounters fanfic.
>>63668076
He got old and will soon be dead in real life just like this franchise.
>>63668055
Yeah, but this is a new low. I was hoping for at least his average movie. I'm not even getting that.
How do people think this film will make 3 billion dollars. No man has ever made 2 billion dollars before why would JJ Abrams make 3 billion now.
>>63668031
>saw the first trailer months ago
>expected the movie to be shit
>knew JJ was just trying to suck money from nostalgic fans
>this is exactly what happens
>I'm somehow disappointed
Why do I care, guys?
>>63668090
He's still vastly overrated.
>>63666716
I kinda believe it. It sounds like "Star Trek Into Darkness" all over again.
>no Han vs. Fett rematch that ends with both mutually killing each other, but with Han getting enough time to die among loved ones
DROPPED
ROPPEDD
OPPEDDR
PPEDDRO
PEDDROP
EDDROPP
DDROPPE
>>63668123
No he really isn't. Motherfucker made one comfy as fuck movie after another in his prime. Motherfucker even ghost directed some classics.
>Fan service: Holochess. The levitating training ball from Episode 4. Admiral Ackbar. Rey living in the AT-AT wreckage. "1138" mentioned. Garbage chute and trash compactor mentioned. Kesel Run mentioned.
>>63668118
That's what got me, anon. I held onto some hope that I'd be wrong. Didn't realize how painful the confirmation would actually be.
>>63668176
Either this part of the pastebin or the Dindu in Love bit will absolutely guarantee an attempted theater shooting at the very least.
>>63667273
Thanks. That is 100% of what I wanted from this mess. Something else to not care about.
>a movie directed by JJ Abrams is a souless shitfest built up almost solely on references and fan service
HOW SURPRISING
>>63668291
It's the clear Finn/Rey relationship building and Han dying from a suckerpunch that hurt me.
That's not fanservice. That's betrayal. I expected fanservice.
>>63667647
>Kylo's real name is Ben Solo
>Kylo is literally Jew Jew smashing Ben Skywalker and Jacen Solo's characters together
You can't fucking make this shit up
>>63668007
Oh, so just like an episode of LOST.
>Snoke was the biggest disappointment of all, he looks like fucking Smeagol from LOTR.
Why fuck up concept art that spectacularly? Fucking why.
>part of the backlash to the prequels was that they were too different and didn't feel like Star Wars
>because of that the new movies are going to be super conservative and boring
Holy shit, the prequels are still ruining Star Wars to this day. The curse is eternal.
>I-I-IT'S GONNA BE GREAT CHARACTER GUYS!!!1 THE NEW CHARACTERS WILL BE FUN!!!
Is anyone honestly suprised by this?
>>63668370
Holy fuck you're right. If they just focused on telling a good story, incidentally involving characters from the OT (as, after all, it is a sequel) rather than specifically telling the prequels to fuck themselves, then maybe this wouldn't be what it turned out to be.
Holy shit star war's fan literally on suicide watch
http://boards.theforce.net/threads/the-new-rumor-intellectual-thread-of-seriousness-for-sophisticated-discourse.50024907/page-2524
>>63668370
For all the shit the prequels get, I will give George credit because he tried to do something original. It was fucking terrible and George exposed himself as a talentless hack fraud, but goddammit he tried. The Force Awakens is just a lazy A New Hope ripoff.
>Kylo's real name is Ben Solo.
>>63668364
Low balling. They knew Serkis wouldn't fail completely, which is the whole point of the logic behind the production.
>>63668443
They're not even that bad, really. They're just really mediocre. At least you can appreciate some of the interesting stuff they did or tried to do.
TFA sounds like it is literally just Abrams stealing other people's ideas.
Finally a reason to be happy again: This movie is shit and we can shit post about it
Ruin this film /tv/. Spoil it as much as you can, do it on leddit wherever.
I want it spoilt as much as that guy who went to the Harry Potter book release with a megaphone.
>>63668443
he had some original designs but the prequels were full of pottery and TPm retreads a lot of shit from the OT
>MC is a poorly written super stonk female who can do anything and always looks better than everyone she faces
>Whole movie is pretty much ANH rehash with with a sprinkle of EU ripoffs
I knew it would be bad but goddamn
>>63668518
>I want it spoilt as much as that guy who went to the Harry Potter book release with a megaphone.
That guy should be beheaded by mudslimes.
>It's barely implied. Finn asks her if she has a "cute boyfriend" at one point and she shrugs it off. Then the cheek kiss at the end. Rey and Poe don't really cross paths.
>Rey and Poe don't really cross paths.
OSCAR FAGS BTFO
>>63668476
Would that make him a good friend?
>>63668529
Even Lucas didn't sink that low. He didn't steal Timothy Zahn's Coruscant and give it a new name
>>63668491
This. And it had a real Star Wars vibe and didn't feel like a fan fic that much.
Do they ever reference the prequels in anyway?
I'm guessing not
what they were thinking entrusting something like star wars to such mediocre director? the argument that they wanted to play it safe doesn't make much sense to me. wouldn't it be safer to use someone who'd actually made at least one good movie?
>>63668518
There's nothing to spoil.
>>63668518
>spoiling it on r9k right now
>Rey doesn't know who her parents are
>meets Luke
>yfw "No. I am your father."
>>63668589
Reddit: The Post
>>63668589
>yfw she's conceived by the force
>>63667273
It's unfiltered now m8
>>63668483
Did TDKR teach these idiots nothing?
If a hyped up movie ends up being awful theater goers get shot.
Half-assing a AAA production has literally cost lives.
>>63668589
>he says it in a snarky humor way then looks at the camera and chuckles
>audience laughs super hard and starts clapping
Also
>Vader is revealed to be his father in the 2nd movie
>Luke is revealed to be the father in the 2nd movie
I never knew JJ could pull off pottery so well
>>63668518
I keep hearing about that guy but there's no proof at all that it even happened besides people saying so.
>>63668616
cuck
>>63668581
Problem is that, for some obscure reasons, there are a lot of people in Hollywood who think JJ is a good director.
>>63668579
I'm really hoping Rey and Finn go on a date at a 1950s milkbar at some point
>>63668581
>we will never get Fincher's star wars with a soundtrack by Reznor
>forced in black guy does nothing and serves no purpose other than to lust after the white woman
Color me surprised.
>>63668626
there are videos of it
>Kylo Ren and Rey have duel of wills. Rey wins
Some random cunt defeating someone with Skywalker blood trained by Luke?
>MUH GUUUUUURRLLLL POWWEERRR
>>63668625
Fucking hell they're actually going there.
FUCKING HELL WHY
JUST WHY
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
This flick is so shit there basically nothing really to spoil even
>>63668651
>in VIII it's revealed that Rey is descended from some royal jedi line
Okay faggots so spoil this for me. Who dies? What's Luke's role? Is Kylo a badass villain?
>>63668651
m8 she's literally a Force Baby, Luke created her then left her on some shithole desert planet for some reason
>>63668627
lemme try
cuck wars
Rey better be Lukes daughter I don;t care much for this Kylo Edge fag
>>63668655
A fate worse than capeshit.
>>63668659
>63668659
han dead
lukes role is to be a mcguffin and literally say nothing and get 30 secs of screentime
kylos an edgelord who complains about light side crawling in his skin
>>63668659
han dies, luke appears for 5 minutes in the end speaks nothing, kylo is visibly waving
>>63668659
>Who dies?
Han, and that's it.
>What's Luke's role
He's in the movie for literally 10 seconds
>Is Kylo a badass villain?
No, just a whiny fag
'the body rey is crying over we see in the trailers is it finn?'
'Yeah it's Finn after he gets fucked up by Kylo. He stays unconscious after that through the end of the movie.'
STAR WARS BTFO, 'WAS A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT AND A TOTAL LETDOWN'
CANT WAIT FOR THE MEMES BOYS
>>63668651
STRONG WOMYN WITH NO TRAINING WINS BECAUSE STRONG WOMYN
JUST FUCKING END IT.
looking forward to RLM's reaction if this movie blows
>>63668571
>steal
I'm pretty sure he asked Zahn.
Don't quote me on that tho
>>63667273
Wtf is this shit? is a new hope fucking again
>>63668703
they still have 2 movies to fuck up things
though boyega is only one not confirmed for second movie so far
>>63668692
>>63668689
>>63668701
How does he die?
>>63668707
>if
this is guaranteed to be terrible
>>63668589
That would be too much poetry
>>63668726
Kylo Ren, his son, kills him. Because muh edgy.
>>63668726
kylo says "thanks dad" and stabs him with laser sword
>>63668671
Kylo Ren is the only character that looks interesting in this movie
They also did a really good job with his design. Much better then shit like Maul or Dooku or Commander Nefarious
>>63668626
there are videos on youtube bro
Wait so Finn, the big superstar BBC jedi hero/black Jesus is comatose for half the film?
>>63668726
Kylo stabs him and throws him down a pit. That sounds a lot more interesting than how it will actually play out in the movie.
>>63668659
Han solo dies, killed by his son kylo who is an emo and "conflicted" dark side jedi. Luke is only shown in the end and never talks.
>>63668745
He's a rip off of superior EU characters
>>63668751
heem sleepy
>>63668751
still got 2 movies more
probably
>>63666716
>all the denial in that thread
So fucking awesome to see Star Wars fans on suicide watch again
Han meets Kylo at the Starkiller base/planet and tries to persuade him to return with him. "I am torn apart, father. But I know what I must do. Can you help me?" - "Of course, my son." They almost embrace. Kylo pierces Han with lightsaber. "Thank you, father." Dead Han falls into the shaft on the Starkiller base. Yes, he is dead. Most definitely.
>>63668659
Han dies.
Luke plays the part of a cliffhanger ending.
Kylo is "conflicted" but apparently not conflicted enough to allow the destruction of a star system or murder his own father.
They can't have Luke just say one fucking thing?
>>63668800
cause mark hamill has tourettes
>>63667273
>Starkiller base
Jesus fucking Christ, why do they always have to shoehorn the name Starkiller into fucking everything? Luke was originally named that, then that ugly mushed faced fucker from Force Unleashed is named that, then the only time I think it actually worked was in KOTOR with Bendak Starkiller, and if you go to fucking wookiepedia, you find 15 other people named Starkiller. And now we got this shit. For the love of Christ, let it go!!
I just realized that there were probably autists who cried in the theater when Han was killed.
What a shit show.
NEver cared for Star Wars anyways.
Anyone seen Krampus or Legend yet?
>>63668800
After reading all of the spoilers and piecing together the plot, I can only assume two things are going on here.
1. They want you to see the second movie.
2. They want you to buy Star Wars comic books, or play the spinoff video game, or read the spinoff book, etc whatever might give you answers but you have to spend money on it
>>63668787
This is the worst possible way Han could get killed in a Star Wars movie.
Jesus Christ what were they thinking?
I imagined bad ways for Han to die, but this is worse than all of them.
>>63667273
this shit has been leaked already
why are people still surprised
http://www.fashionnstyle.com/articles/62804/20150528/star-wars-episode-7-spoilers-major-force-awakens-script-leaks-reveal-full-plot-and-character-details.htm
>Starkiller gets blown up at the end
alright then, trilogy over, right?
I liked the "Luke keeps Vader locked in the dungeon" theory better
>>63668787
oh wow
that almost fucking triggered me
Is there any hope for Rogue One?
I was more excited for it anyway.
Kylo Ren is Han and Leia's son. He is "Master of The Knights of Ren" but it's not explained what it means.
Kylo Ren's real name is Ben. He was trained by Luke but then turned to the Dark Side which was the reason for Luke blaming himself and disappearing.
Both Finn and Rey have lightsaber duel with Kylo in the forest on the Starkiller planet/base. Finn is badly wounded and spends rest of the movie in a coma. Rey finally falls in love with him. (He loved her from the first sight.)
cuckwars
>>63668843
>tfw you will never spoon with blondie on the right
>>63666716
Not surprised in the slightest.
I knew from the start that TFA would be a shallow nostalgia fest.
JJ is such a hack. At least we get a good Plinkett review.
>>63668722
he'll definitely be in the second movie, probably third too
>>63668830
You don't have to lie. This hurts.
I didn't think I cared, but this really does hurt.
I may watch Krampus. I hear it's basically the 2010's Gremlins. Comfy as fuck PG-13 horror. I hope it's good.
>>63668861
There's only one blonde, you didn't need to qualify her position in the picture.
>>63668822
the only reason to see this piece of shit is for the tears and disappointment
>>63668861
She looks like an English teacher.
Redhead on the far left is the freak in bed.
>>63668874
>still hyped for The Revenant
>been waiting since 2014 for it
Leo you better not let me down
>>63668861
Iktfb
She's a mega qt
>>63668866
I swear to Christ if they don't bring Plinkett back for this.
>>63668889
Redhead looks like one of those girls that smells like their last shower was yesterday,has skin blemishes and cakes on just a little bit too much makeup to hide it, isn't sure of her direction in life, but will do ridiculously slutty stuff with you while being a great friend.
>>63667791
>Also, JJ is only doing this movie and has nothing to do with the rest of the trilogy.
Source?
Kylo=Ben/Jacen
Rey=Jaina
Snoke=Thrawn
First Order=Imperial Remnant
>>63668856
>Trains a guy who becomes a potential menace to the galaxy
> Instead to fight his demons blame himself and dissapears
REKT
>>63668787
>movie made specifically to appeal to fans of the OT
>making Han die like an emotional little girl
>by his own piece of shit son's hand no less
>via a childish trick
Was this fucking movie aimed at no one? Was JJ just trying to piss off as many people as he could?
For Christ's sake what was the purpose here?
It's gonna be great.
>>63668951
maybe he is hired by rival studios to sabotage disney?
that would explain a lot
>>63668919
I don't know. I like that qt with Jewy nose more. Nice face, nice hair, nice nails, nice smile, all around nice. Looks like a freak in bed too.
So does girl jedi lust for the BBC or not?
>>63668910
Plinkett will back for this, oh dude don't you see? this is too easy...
>>63668967
This seems like the kind of shit WB would do.
>>63668951
Its like poetry cuz Han Solo is like the Obi Wan of this saga (the first character from the old times you meet) and he dies to a dark side user. And Luke is like Yoda. ITS LIKE POETRY GUZI IT RHYMES
>>63667273
What the fugg am I reading senpai
>BEN SOLO
What the fuck is JJ and Kasdan smoking?
>IT'S OGRE
And /tv/ and /pol/ are right once again.
All is fine with the world.
>>63668787
this has to be a ruse
>>63668951
there's gotta be a backlash for this one, right?
>>63668647
post that shit
So does the movie explain what the title means? How does the force awaken?
And who is snoke, what are the knights of ren?
>>63668978
No, there is no romance between Rey and Finn
>>63669001
this is a SJW movie makes sense
>le Lawrence Kasdan is le great face
NECKBEARDS GETTING BTFO
>>63669004
No, because Star Wars dweebs are the ultimate shit eaters
>>63668476
Thank god he's not Han Dover's son.
>>63668978
It's implied by his concern for her early on and her actions at the end but it could be nothing but concern for her friend.
>>63669007
Why don't you read the link OP posted you fucking idiot
>>63668993
Even Obi Wan got to die in a fucking sword fight.
Christ it even felt like he won the fight somehow; like he tricked Vader into killing him.
>>63668581
Give a definition of "good" that can be quantitatively measured by a studio executive.
>>63669032
so it could be love or it could just be one piece nakama garbage?
So is Starkiller base the Mass Shadow Generator from KOTOR II?
>>63669019
it's pretty obvious he was only brought back to give this shit some nerd credibility, he just wrote whatever the studio wanted
BLOOD FOR THE 4CHAN GOD
>>63669055
Top kek. Quality sheevpost.
>>63669055
If there's no reference to Sheev at all in the new trilogy I'm gonna be pissed.
>>63668117
noice one anon
>>63668955
yeah, it's gonna be great
>>63669051
Believe It!
Plagueisfags you still want him to come back? I know JJ isn't involved with 8 and 9 at least as a director, but he would be ruined.
Lel no matter what the movie was you guys would have shit on it and don't pretend that's not true.
>>63669085
I'm already pissed.
This was supposed to be a good Christmas.
Fuck Jews.
Fuck JJ.
I'm so fucking mad right now it hurts.
I expected mediocrity and that fucking ugly kike couldn't even provide that much.
is n e one else depressed now that we know the truth. i was really hoping itd be good :(
>>63668951
remember, after payed the ticked they don't give a shit about the fans
>>63669118
back to reddit
It's still gonna be the most grossing movie of all time because they Hype they build around it.
Fuck
>>63669028
I'll allow it.
>>63669103
Plagueis coming back would be shit but at least it would be better than the Knights of cuck and whoever snoke is.
My mother wants to see this movie during Christmas. She knows nothing of Star wars, but she wants to see something in 3D.
Should I just tell her to go? Or should I tell her to wait for something like Superman vs batman?
>>63669125
I'm so fucking glad I didn't preorder a ticket.
Jesus Christ you'd think they'd have learned their lesson after Crystal Skull. You don't give a classic Harrison Ford character children.
>>63668840
Well, I don't know how that scene played out in the actual movie, but getting killed by your own son is pretty hardcore.
>>63668370
This is the final stanza in George's poetry.
>ben solo
>>63669149
If the 3D was filmed during production, tell her to go. If it was added in post, tell her to wait.
>>63669149
They're rereleasing the Werckmeister Harmonies in 3D soon, tell her to wait
So whats the point of the nigger in the film? Is he really just a plot device? lmao
>Fan service: Holochess. The levitating training ball from Episode 4. Admiral Ackbar. Rey living in the AT-AT wreckage. "1138" mentioned. Garbage chute and trash compactor mentioned. Kesel Run mentioned.
JUST FUCK MY MOVIE UP SENPAI
>>63669149
Tell her to wait for SvB and gift her the Original Trilogy. Or download the Despecialized Edition and show her that for Christmas.
it's not a moon sized battlestation it's a PLANET sized battlestation holy fuck!
Miss me yet, /tv/?
>poe is pretty much an irrelevant character
>>63669159
Not when you're being prison shanked by the ugly piece of shit.
King Arthur getting killed by his own son was hardcore. They both died fighting.
>>63669174
Sounds logical desu.
>>63669204
No.
>>63666716
so this film is setting up episode 8 and 9 ? i fucking knew it!
jesus christ, im going to get my tickets refunded right now
>>63667273
This is WORSE than the prequels
Holy shit.
At least podracing was epic as fuck
>>63669204
A little tbqh
>>63669032
I have a feeling that Finn is forever friendzoned clone, and Poe will be her lover
>>63669204
Since the first announcement was made, George ;_;
>>63666716
Just a few days ago there were people doubting that Rey would be a nigger lover, i hope they feel fucking stupid.
THis is the best part. Getting my pepe ready
>Rey has a weird dream/flashback after she finds Luke's lightsaber in Maz Kanata's castle and touches it. The dream contains lots of quick imagery and short voiceovers by Yoda and Obi-Wan. Several famous shots in trailers (Kylo and his posse, Luke's mechanical arm on R2D2) are from this dream montage and are never explained in the movie.
>watching Starwars film
>its a scenes in trailers were from a dream sequence episode
That review legit reads like "le fedora tipping man" autism. "Hurr they didn't answer every question of what happened after ROTJ in the first movie of the new trilogy and "I didn't belieeeeeeve the characters". Definition of SJW RLM review.
So wait Han died or what he meant by "Meets his end"?
>>63669207
>Hey JJ, can I be in your new Star Wars?
>Yeah, I'll write the character with best potential but will give him almost no screen time. You don't have to thank me, goyim. It's my privilege.
>>63669163
>Ben
>Rhymes with Ren
Actual Pottery
>>63669239
Anus Skywalker kills Han
>>63669204
Please make Star Wars pure again George
>>63669188
Literally only there to fulfill Abram's fantasies.
If a nigger had just agreed to fuck his wife he wouldn't have had all that pent up frustration and casted Mace Dindu.
>>63669255
Okay, just the words this reddit tard using confusing
>Ben Solo
holy fucking shit, really?
>>63669238
nice buzzwords familia
>>63669252
>Kylo Ren
>Solo Ben
>>63667403
to bad it will set up VIX and not will happen in it
>>63669238
This post reads like you prepaid for a ticket.
>>63667273
top kek thanks senpai I can now spoil my "friends"
>>63668822
Triple dubs confirm
Snoke was the biggest disappointment of all, he looks like fucking Smeagol from LOTR. He spends the whole movie like the emperor in episodes 3 & 4. They do a cool thing with the "hologram" effect now where it looks like you're actually in the same room as who you're talking to. Then they "blue flicker" at the end of the communication. So no in person Snoke, so I'm not sure if he's actually as big as they had him via hologram. He was basically a gigantic Smeagol though.
YEP NO BIAS HERE, I'M SURE EVERYONE WHO VOTED HAS ACTUALLY SEEN IT :^)))
IMDB MOST RELIABLE WEBSITE FOR SCORES.
>>63669273
>>63669270
>>63669252
>>63669163
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3su0B_djbvg
>>63669207
>the white man's role in cinema for the next 50 years
>cardboard cutout bad guy
>invisible background decoration
WithHan's deathdies the white male hero.
>>63669330
and so dies the box office
I want to see this flop hard at RT. What are the chances?
Save us Rian Johnson - you`re our only hope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxU2eqZtYmc
can the mods do us a solid and play this on loop as the board's music
>two groups of racially-stereotyped space gangsters
And they said the Prequels were dead
>>63669341
2% chance
>>63669341
With all this hype and the Star Wars name
Zero
>>63669341
It'll probably sit at 75% at the very worst
>>63666716
I'm guessing TGWG will give it great scores because it's progressive, right?
>MASSIVE MASSIVE THEME IN THE OT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP, ESPECIALLY LUKE AND HAN
>POST-OT
>HAN IS GOING TO DIE ALONE AT THE HANDS OF ONE OF LUKES STUDENTS AND LUKE ISNT EVEN GOING TO APPEAR IN THE SAME FILM, LET ALONE SAVE HIS FRIEND LIKE THEYVE DONE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE
FUCK YOU JJ
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU JJ
BEST MOVIE BROS EVER AND YOURE MAKING THEM DIE COLD AND ALONE
FUCK YOU JJ
JUST
U
S
T
>>63669341
Almost none.
People are going to be in such denial that they won't dare shit on it openly until one person steps up to do so.
Nobody wants to be the guy who says, "Maybe, 'IT'S STAR WARS' doesn't mean it's actually all that good." By the time someone finally does, the RT score will be more or less stable.
>>63669330
>>63669338
And the birth of the White Female Heroine.
PURE POETRY
>Le prequels are shit XDXD
>This new movie is shit but I have to like it because it's not Lucas XDXD
It's gonna be movie of the year because of normies, isn't it
>>63669149
>see shit film
>see capeshit film
What's the fucking difference?
>>63669341
Maybe if Cameron sneak announces an Avatar 2 teaser on Youtube the day of release, and all critics realise after seeing it that Jimcam is the GOAT director of all time that will save cinema forever.
>>63669055
Love it
What was the critical reception like for Phantom Menace at release? Were people in denial?
strong womyn is the key to all of this
Is there a torrent yet?
>>63669455
Yes, critics gave it 4/5.5
>>63669423
Stable isn't entirely accurate though. Matrix Reloaded was in the 90's when it originally released. Now its not.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/matrix_reloaded/
>>63668787
You know what's really bothering here ? Ford said that he wanted Han Solo to die in a heroic way.
There's nothing heroic here. It's some shit backstabbing by his own retarded son. Han probably won't even have proper funerals. The guy survives countless shits, manages to get out alive of carbonite, is THE ONLY person that matter during the battle of Yavin and Endor (no Han, no victory, it's as simple as that), and, no, he dies stabbed by his son after a hug. It's some "French after Paris attacks" kind of bullshit.
I would have prefered if Han and Chewie went full kamikaze on the Starkiller base by crashing the Falcon into the main core.
http://pastebin.com/jcHuwZKT
So tl;dr It's the Hobbit / Prequels all over again
>>63669400
LET'S GET MAFIA TO WHACK JJ
>>63669455
critical reception was positive and fans loved it, it wasn't until a few weeks later when the dust finally settled that people realized it was shit
>>63669455
Some people were calling it out immediately but it literally took like a week for people to wake up.
>Phantom Menace comes out
>lots of people are in denial, but over time everyone sees it for the shitty movie that it is
>Force Awakens comes out
>lots of people call it shit but over time will see that it's actually pretty good
poetry
>>63669455
I just saw some clips about the audience reaction to PM (at least Plinkett's review has them). Everybody claims to be stoked but you can see in their body language and eyes that they're not.
Also, is introducing a shitload of characters, most of whom will not interest any viewers, a specific SW thing? Starting from the Prequels I mean, the OT had this in control.
So, now that we know that Hamil got literally a few seconds of screentime, whithout any dialogue, is there any reason to go see this movie?
>people actually thought TFA might be good
We never learn
>>63669510
Who's to say they won't be in denial now?
>>63668636
and roll around the floor, giggling.
>Finn: I'll try spinning, that's a good trick
It's the fanboys fault for hating on the prequels so much. If people weren't so autismal about it then we wouldn't have this nostalgia-wank garbage
>>63669510
lel
anyone have a tl;dr for this movie so that i don't have to pay to see it nor read more than a couple paragraphs? that's all it seems to be worth desu
>>63669517
This board was 95% hateful, there were only a select few naive fucks who thought it might be good.
>>63669358
But the mods were fucking animals about dis shit man, banning and killing threads that were taking the piss out the movie. Ive never actually seen them have such animosity towards capeshit trolls before, but they REALLY did want Starshit to be good.
>for free
>>63667738
Fake.
It was written on the 10th and he only added the first line that was leaked tonight.
this has to be a set up, it has to be perfectly medicore for us to hate it and give the second and third film a bigger boost "OH THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER" there is no way in fucking hell they said lets give LUKE SKYWALKER no dialouge and SHIP THE FILM!!!!!
this is a plan to make us 100% see the third film by the billions god damn it hypetrainovergosdkjasasd
>>63669510
Disney shill pls leave
>>63669204
You were the one to sell out to Disney and let Star Wars die once and for all.
Good Riddance You Poetic "Jar Jar is #1" Fag.
>>63669474
This is exactly what's pissing me off. Not the romance subplot, not the 30 second Luke cameo, not even Snoke looking like Gollum.
Han deserved a good death. He didn't deserve this.
>>63669103
I'm still hoping Jar Jar is revealed as the REAL evil Sith Lord behind it all.
>>63669527
But the prequels where also extreme nostalgia wank
especially Episode 2
>>63669586
Wat
>>63669582
I bet he didn't have the high ground.
>>63666716
Thank god the niggers gets fucked. Hopefully he wont come back for the next movie
>>63668925
the guy who directed the worst episode of breaking bad is making 8 and jurassic world director is doing 9.
8 could actually be good if its the quality of looper but 9 is bound to be the rotj of the trilogy
Do the retarded looking AT ATs do anything in the movie?
The Luke cameo would have been great if we didn't already know about his inclusion.
>>63669530Han's emo kid kills him, is Dark Sided.Dindu'nuffin and qt3.14 fall in love, she becomes Luke's apprentice.A planet sized Death Star is destroyed.Leia is fat and old.
>>63669582
They should have taken pointers from Independence Day.
>>63669527
One of the worst problems of the prequels was the fact that it was overly reliant on the fan's love for the OT.
The whole trilogy was the backstory of some Imperial Goon who was only important because he was popular. The fall of the jedi and the rise of the Empire were trappings on top of Vader's background instead of the opposite.
Why don't they make light spears?
>>63669611
>he didn't like Fly
pleb/10
can anyone just tell me if there's a forced interracial romance?
Because I skipped that Jessica Jones stuff because of that, it just makes me gag im sorry.
>>63669635
>>63669474
Oh sorry, I didn't see you wrote the same thing.
The First Order?
What kind of pull from the ass is that
>EPISODE VII: A NEW EPISODE IV
Will this do what the prequels failed to do, and kill a franchise?
>>63669635
When Cousin Eddie dies with more dignity than Han Solo you know this franchise is beyond repair.
>>63668007
A New Hope was a self-contained movie tho
>Coalburning
>Han Solo dies
>yet another death star that is yet again instantly destroyed
>several important things that are never explained / will never be explained
>pointless cameos
>almost no practical effects
>it'll be great
3.3 BILLION
>>63669669
Star Wars is too big to die.
>>63669517
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
>>63669656
Yes there seems to be. No onscreen kissing but by the end they're not clearly going that direction.
genuine question
Why is it so IMPOSSIBLE for this Hollywood fucking CUNTS to actually see what makes a good film
If retarded 20-year-olds on /tv/ can break a film down into its effective and ineffective elements why can't these literal billion dollar companies just produce something GOOD?
Today's film landscape is literally the Red Waste from ASOIAF. Nothing to see
>>63669597
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1EkOsY8p_8
I can't bring myself to read the spoilers... it's only 2 days away for me. It seems like it's bad though.
At least the new MC's are interesting or they are just to drive a fanservice nostalgiagrab plot from nowhere and nobody cares about them?
So the whole movie is a set up for future stuff that ends with a cliffhanger.
Reminder that a new hope was a complete movie, in case some niggers try to defend this shit by saying New Hope was also a set up for future movies
>>63667273>Finn is badly wounded and spends rest of the movie in a coma. Rey finally falls in love with him. (He loved her from the first sight.)
BLACKED
This makes me really fucking happy. Knowing this movie will be shit just gives me a shit eating grin.
What about Poe? Did he get cycked screen time?
>>63669669
No, SW fanboys are the worst kind of Rabid.
Even if the Sequel Trilogy is as bad as the Prequels, they'll still make a shit ton of money, and the fans will line up for the next one.
All they have to do is wait ten years to try again, and they'll be ready to suck SW's big, hairy Wookie dick again.
>>63669204
No.
>>63666716
Exactly the shit I was expecting JJ to do.
And unfortunately the leaks were all real.
>>63669709
The answer is and always the same:
There's no business like show business, and there's no business like the business that safely makes the most money, no matter if the show is good or not.
>>63669669
Not with a new movie coming out every 6 months or whatever.
Only franchise fatigue can do that.
>Max von Sydow's role is just a cameo, he has about 10 sentences before Kylo Ren kills him.
>>63669676
Will it be worse than Kirk's or not?
Jesus christ I knew it would be bad but I wasn't expecting dog shit that even normies couldn't stomach.
>>63669709
There's a sucker born every minute
>>63667273
I take back everything bad I've ever said about George Lucas.
This is fucking terrible.
I'm literally going to drown myself in pizza rolls and patiently wait for the inevitable Plinkett review.
After the last sentence, there is an extended sequence without dialogue: Rey leaves the Resistance base in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca. They find remote planet where Luke is hiding (because they now have the map), Rey goes to the "first Jedi Temple" (which looks like ruins of some Scottish castle on a rocky island). Luke is there, dressed in old Obi-Wan style hood. Rey returns his sword to him. Apart from this sequence, Luke only appears for three seconds in Rey's previous flashback. Luke speaks no words in the whole movie and is onscreen maybe for 30 seconds total. He never meets anyone else than Rey.
if han's death is real normies are going to go nuclear
>>63669682
>yet another death star that is yet again instantly destroyed
>Fool, you've fallen for our own tricks
>The death star was merely a decoy
>[camera starts panning]
>A decoy for a much more... sinister weapon.
>[panning begins to reveal thousands of death stars rapidly orbiting around a much, much larger death star]
>We were merely drawing attention away from
>[stinger]
>the DOOMSTAR
>[imperial march]
search your feelings
you know it to be true
The only thing that I can be disappointed by now, is the plinkett review that red letter media will never make
>>63669643
>We will never see a light bayonet charge
>Jakku
It's not even the Tatooine, just a planet exactly like it?
If you're going to have the balls to be this unoriginal, you might as well not pretend.
>>63669724
>So the whole movie is a set up for future stuff that ends with a cliffhanger.
I hate this trend
Wow and I thought extended universe stories were shit
>>63667647
It's like poetry, it rhymes.
>>63669835
>the real weapon is a railgun made out of black holes that fires stars that have death planets orbiting them
Our ultimate weapon.
>>63669724
Even TPM was a complete Movie.
So I predict Kylo will be mocked here as an edgelord, and General Hux will be a staple in future did nothing wrong threads.
>>63669822
Plinkett review on Star Trek 2009 already said everything there is to be said concerning franchise restarts. It's exactly the same with TFA.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiHnqv098LY
tl;dw It's all about the money, risks and increased competition.
>>63669904
spoiler: the ultimate weapon is Finn
he is actually teleported from modern Earth, and a carrier of AIDS
galaxy of SW will be decimated
>kept posting the shooting script
>everyone kept saying "FAKE FAKE LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
HOW DOES IT FEEL FAGGOTS
We're in autosage.
Han Solo? More like Han So Dead.
>>63669933
ya
Jorge did nothing wrong, he just can't into writing
>>63668529
Anh?
>If you're gonna give me new characters give me a reason to follow them. This movie only does that for Rey. And she basically WoW quests Luke's saber to him. The movie ends with her holding it out like he's gonna give her a mission reward robe with bitchin flames on it.
This fucking guy.
>>63669836
Why wouldn't they?
is there a rip of the soundtrack yet?
>>63669733
I'm disappointed, but I fucking hated Kylo Ren's design and character even before spoilers hit so I feel vindicated.
It is still an empty feeling.
>>63668322
>Han dying from a suckerpunch
No more fitting way for an old rogue to die, actually.
>>63669959
*teleports behind you*
*unsheathes lightsaber with vents*
PSSH, Nothing personal kid
>>63669204
yes
>>63670003
you mean
PSSH, Nothing Personal Dad
Why do people think "making a movie for the fans" is a good thing?
>>63668322
>>63669997
It's not a sucker punch when the audience can see it coming a mile away.
>>63670051
It works for Marvel. The problem with making it for Star Wars fans is that Star Wars movies were never good.
>>63667273
>angry stronk womyn Jedi beats the crap out of everybody (even a Sith lord) and falls in love with a nigger
Sasuga JewJew AbjewAlso her name means "King" in beaner, just saying
Han is a cuck
>>63670078
exactly, they are condensed autism which succeeded because it used Kubrick framework for moon hoaxes
people were just not expecting that level of visual quality - look at flash gordon movie for example
>>63670078
But he concept of making a movie for the fans basically implies nothing will be original and they won't try anything new or take any risks. How could a movie like that ever be good?
this won't get a plinkett, it'll be half in the bag only
>>63670042
>>63670003
Literally.
Woah, guys, you remember Kylo Ren's data page? This is called PSICHOLOGICAL TAUNTS.
baka desu senpai cuck
please tell me its over
>>63668626
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c16wK-low4E
>>63670051
This clearly wasn't made for the fans.
If it were, Luke would be in it for a minimum of half the movie, the main male lead wouldn't be a nigger, and Rey and Kylo Ren would have been Jaina and Jacen solo.
>>63669256
Requesting a shoop of George with a "Make Star Wars Great Again" hat.
>>63670083
I was really hoping it would be short for Reyna, so it would mean queen and it would rhyme with Jaina.
>>63670150
Then why are the majority of the fans claiming it's amazing and definitely better than the prequels before they've even seen it?
>>63670150
This movie was made purely for social justice warriors. Think about it, the lead characters of the trilogy will be a chick and a black dude (also, why the hell are they both British?). Also, main villains of course whiteys.
As much as I hate the cuck meme, JJ really went to cucktown on this one.
>>63670198
Because they're dumb shit eaters.
>>63670198
Because nothing is worse than the prequels.
>>63670235
Wait, is this true?? :(
>>63670198
Because they're cucks
>>63670277
It's true, all of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5wCzrk5q2o
This all over again.
>>63670330
Oh you cheeky bastard.
>>63670198
Probably because Disney did a shilling campaign without precedent in all social media.
>>63668654
nah it will be revealed that Luke killed her father, and Luke will be the villain.
>>63670272
There will be...
There will be.
>>63669055
Empire is stupid overrated. Some damn good writing and directing in there but the plot is weak and hinges entirely too much on Jedi.
Star Wars, meanwhile, is still a nearly perfect movie after 40 years.
>>63668611
MIDICHLORIAN COUNTS ARE OFF THE CHARTS
>>63669968
He has some good ideas desu baka senpai. He should be pitching them to some other writer/director.
>>63670411
this desu
ROTJ is the best one but autists have to ruin it with muh ewoks
>>63669360
nigga that's been part and parcel to star wars since Jedi at least
maybe even ANH with the various races of distinguished middle eastern junk peddlers and slavers
This guy sounds like a little whiny bitch. He should have dropped the attitude. Now he looks like a loser to the whole world.
>>63670344
At least there is some kind of battle, fight for life here. Not a heroic death, but at least more deserving than what's coming in TFA.
>>63669641
>the fall of the Empire and return of the Jedi were trappings on top of Luke's story instead of the opposite
This is how stupid you sound.
Some imperial goon? Vader became much more than that after ANH.
>>63670472
The only autist who ruined it with the ewoks is Lucas himself.
>>63668589
>>63668611
Guys, guys hold up.
What if... What if she IS the Force?
That's as far as they can go now to make her a special snowflake who is super important in the universe.
She literally is an Avatar of the Force, that doesn't know her parents because she never had even a single one. She literally appeared out of nowhere, because of the Force. And her randomly figuring out how to use the Force makes complete sense, aswell as why the movie is called "The Force Awakens".
Hold me guys. I don't want to be right.
>>63669954
pls no ;-(
>>63670550
That's sadly stupid enough to be true.
>>63669669
"I will what you started"
>>63670550
You should shut up about that kind of stuff before JJ catches on.
>>63670550
HOL UP
What if, WHAT IF
The force ghosts of yoda, obi1, anakin, and quigonn were reincarnated into Rey? She is LITERALLY the force and will become the Goddess Empress of mankind.
I feel like we have a moral duty to get word out to the people that this is every bit the lazy, rushed cashgrab we feared it would be.
Disney obviously want this to make Avatar money, and it's going to make bank regardless, but if we could drag it down to Iron Man 3 levels (about $1.5 billion) due to bad word of mouth, I'd consider that making god bleed.
>>63670772
>She is LITERALLY the force and will become the Goddess Empress of mankind.
Why not Emperor?
>>63669204
Yep.
You may have been shit, but you wouldn't have cast a BM/WF relationship.
>>63670772
This would actually be better than the garbage we are getting.
>>63670842
Is there actually an interracial relationship in the film?
I'm getting mixed messages here. Some people on Reddit say Rey just gives that African a kiss on the cheek.
Was significantly more hyped for In The Heart of the Sea anyway.
>>63669055
Sheev the absolute dubsman
>>63670900
Look who's dubing now.
>>63670955
IMPRESSIVE
>>63670836
She's a gril is she not? Unless she has an unfeminine penis.
>>63671002
so close
the force awakens and finn is in a coma
its almost like poetry
just put the whole thing back to sleep
>>63671056
>56
So close... for you!
>>63670887
They're taking their sweet time with it.
1st movie is a peck on the cheek, 2nd movie is a passionate mouth kiss, 3rd movie is BBC gangbang
>>63671043
>THE GIRL KING paints a portrait of the brilliant, extravagant Kristina of Sweden, queen from age six, who fights the conservative forces that are against her ideas to modernize Sweden and who have no tolerance for her awakening sexuality.
>>63670813
Mate, it was NEVER going to make Avatar levels of money even if it was better than the OT.
>>63669235
>getting my Pepe ready
Hello, Reddit!
HAH! Confirmed for blunder of the fucking century.
STAR WARS FAGS GET BTFO.
>>63670550
Didn't they have this shit in the clone wars CGI series? The dark side literally shows Anakin he will become Darth Vader and shit. I don't know what happens after that because Ionly saw a youtube clip
When will they make a SW movie from the point of view of a dark side force user? The dark seen seems far more interesting.
>>63670550
Anakin was more or less made by the Force, no? And he was a handsome motherfucker. Rey looks like she has downs.
>OVE GOT TO FIND LOOK SKOIWALKA WITH MUH QUADJUMPAH? BLOODY ELL M8
>>63671191
Revenge of the Sith?
>>63671191
But Anon, from Anakin's point of view, the Jedi are evil.
>>63666716
>to me it's a fan film made by a rich kid who could afford the original actors.
This sets is up pretty well
>>63671238
Yeah but that was more about leading up to Anakin becoming Vader.
I honestly think KOTOR 2 had a better story than most of the Star Wars films, although the dialogue was clumsy at times.
This is coming from a total /tv/ and /lit/ elitist too.
>>63671279
No that was episode 1 and 2. Episode 3 is when the dominoes Palpatine had been placing started to fall.
>>63671303
But it wasn't completely from the perspective of a full sith lord. It was the final transformation.
Cuck Wars is finally officially 100% confirmed.
Whoever goes out to pay to see this in theaters is an actual, LITERAL cuck.
>>63667273
>Apart from Han and Chewie, all the "original characters" (Leia, R2D2, C3PO) only appear after two thirds of the movie, when The Resistance lands on Maz Kanata's planet.
Bullshit, we have a shot of Han and Leia hugging from the trailer but Han is supposed to be dead according to these spoilers
>>63671401
You are so stupid you are unable to tie those together.
You are the bullshit, a waste of semen
>>63671450
Aww is the cuck upset that the film won't be a disappointment?
>>63671466
Jesus how can you be this retarded
You're embarassing yourself cunt
>>63668707
You do realize it's essentially him and people like him's fault that this movie is as shit as it is, rigth? Overreacting and memetically shitting on the prequels is what made execs think everyone just wanted the exact same thing as the original trilogy and made them play it as safe as possible, resulting in the turd we just got.
>>63671517
Aww don't worry champ, I'm sure there'll be another film where you can complain about a black guy getting together with a white girl.
>>63671466
You're joking, right? Han dies at the end in the spoilers. Of course they could hug before he dies.
>>63671552
I don't understand you black people sometimes.
On the one hand you say that we live in a white supremacist society, on the other hand you gloat about all the BM/WF promotion in the media...
>>63671534
It's funny their only answer to the prequel disaster is to rehash the OT because fuck creativity and new ideas, that'd be far too difficult.
>>63671534
RLM did not magically make everyone hate the prequels and anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking idiot.
The plinkett reviews were a massive example of preaching to the choir.
>>63666716
Sounds bad desu senpai
