![cinema[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/KIQUhP6.jpg "cinema[1].jpg")
Workers and visitors of theaters, what is your funniest or worst experience?
Had to deal with a neckbeard who didn't like the no singles policy once. He was a walking stereotype - mlp bag, Bernie Sanders T-Shirt, ill-fitting trilby.
shit my pants during The Hobbit screening. I waited for everyone to exit the theater while listening to them complain about a terrible smell. Got banned from the theater
one time i got to charge a fat guy for two seats
>>63651635
just finished my shift
had to politely but firmly ask four neckbeards on four separate occasions to leave as they got all buttflustered over the no singles policy
when will they learn, for fuck sake
>>63651552
Went to see Enemy at my University theater, and there was a group of three people who would not shut the fuck up. Think they were drunk, and eventually just about everyone else in the theater turned at the same time and told them to shut the fuck up. They then shushed us, but shut up for the remainder of the film.
I used to work at a movie theatre in high school. I caught a few people doing it, they would wait until the theater emptied and we would go in to clean it and catch them.
One time I found a whole pie that some customer had brought in.
For fun I used to try to start a round of applause at the end of movies. It worked about 80% of the time.
Seeing a literal autistic single neckbeard argue with a neckbeard manager over some insignificant matter. Bonus points for the autist making himself look like the victim with his law & order words probably over something as stupid as them not serving crab legs
Recently I was at a showing of Creed in a pretty nice part of town so I was hoping that I wouldn't get swamped by niggers hooting over the movie. Not only was I wrong there (the black lady behind me actually chimped out in revolt when they played that little video telling people not to talk/text during the movie), there were also a group of 12 year olds that were on their phones the whole time and whispering to each other.
>>63651552
I took my falcon into the showers one time and he kept trying to steal the other patrons crablegs, they eventually kicked me out because of their no singles policy ;_;
>>63651895
The post below me reminded me of this time these 3 kids were following this kid their age literally wearing a fedora. I guess they were teasing him or something, but that kid turns around and like hiss yells at them "I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL". Ofcourse the cool kids just kind of laughed at him.
>>63652050
>pay for a movie
>just be on your phone the whole time
Fucking why? Why waste your money like that?
>>63651713
sounds pretty fun
There's no such thing as 'no singles policy'.
>>63652234
euroshit detected, enjoy not getting shot in your theater
That time the theatre was engulfed in butter after the pipeline burst
I am Mexican, i went to the movies a few days ago with a friend, we watched Victor Frankenstein.
We had KFC and we entered with lots of chicken wings and fries, it was an ebin experience.
>>63652287
I live in Oregon and go to a movie 2 or 3 times a month. Theaters would lose a lot of money if they didn't let singles in. Total bullshit you only read about on 4chan.
>go to watch pirates of the carribbean
>laughing, having a good time
>get up to go to the bathroom
>walking down the dark isle towards the door
>accidentally kick something
>"ow, what the fuck weirdo"
>theres two kids on the ground
>its a teenage girl straddling some boy
>imissedoutonthisinmyteenyears.jpg
>suddenly get angry
>kick them again
>girl falls off of boy
>girl crying now
>boy there flailing on the ground with his dick out starting to yell hes gonna kick my ass
>kick him again and then run back towards stairs towards seats
>kid follows me yelling
>people see a commotion
>cut down an isle full of people to slow him down
>stepping on people and knocking popcorn out of their hands
>"what the fuck"
>"someone stop him"
>get to other side and start running down stairs toward other exit
>slip on the edge of one of the stairs and fall down the stairs
>land at the handicap row
>some guy in a wheelchair sees me and starts rolling over
>accidentally rolls onto my hand
>theater staff comes running in right during an action scene
>pirates on screen yelling, some girl crying in distance, wheelchair guy screaming sorry, entire theater whispering, kid running towards me yelling, and theater staff shouting
>all i wanted was to see the second pirates of the carribean
>almost got arrested and charged as a sex offender
>fractured 2 bones in my hand
>havent watched another pirates of the carribbean since
>drive an hour to the next closest movie theater now
>feelsbadman
Me and my gf used to work at a small cinema were they showed foreign movies.
Some old guy would come every Wednesday, on the same hour. The guy was probably patrician as fuck.
One day he started talking about a movie with my gf and a female co-worker, he then invited them to a coffee in the cinema's bar. He ended up inviting them to watch a movie since he had a big ass collection of foreign movies at home and a home theater.
Dumb bitches thought he was some sort of rapist and turned him down politely even though he clearly was an old lonely fag practically screaming "i'm gay".
I have seen a mom bring her toddler in to the Fifty Shades of Gray movie. The theater was full of paper towels and cucumber shit
I turned the light off on a customer that was using one of these after my shift, the fucker must have been terrified of the dark because there was shit sprayed all over the floor in what appeared to be a hurried exit. I laughed like a madman at the guy that had to mop it up.
>>63652408
You must be the ONLY theater then
What ZIP code, I might want to move there
>Watching Alien Resurrection
>gets to the underwater swimming part
>suddenly the lights all come on instantly, and the curtain's slide shut
>10 minutes later they get it sorted out
>the movie kept playing and we missed 10 minutes
I was too young and my dad was too beta to demand a refund or free tickets to another movie or something.
>>63652130
Because it's not their money, it's mom and dad's
They don't give a shit
The time me and two buddies went to see Inglorious Basterds on opening night at the audio cut out of the movie in the last few minutes of it.
Cue a crowd of angry people crowding up the lobby and an older guy who claimed to be a lawyer said some lawyerspeak and that we all deserved a full refund if we gave show that we indeed bought a ticket for the movie.
And we did.
>>63651740
No singles policy?
You're not allowed to see a movie alone?
went to see jackass 2 at an empty cinema with group of friends when we were 14. only other people were a couple in front of us that were probably in their mid 60s. they spent the enitre movie just making audibly disgusted noises
Funniest: when a thug niggo friend of a friend who was like 13 but looked 25 picked on some emo-indie atypical hipster while he was on a date with his girl. Swatting his jewy hair, throwing popcorn, and quite literally leaning forward to call him a nigger which was hilariously weird. He did this for the entire movie until we got outside and he waited for the dude and picked a fight. He then proceeded to take the first hit and then beat his ass. Security cuffed both and the darkie, while the girlfriend was being questioned, sprinted away with cuffs on. Security was too fat to chase and popo weren't there yet.
>>63651552
Can someone tell me how i can get a job at the movie theater? It seems to be harder to get a job there than anywhere else. Or is it just more people apply there?
>>63653628
A Jewish cabal runs the cinema business. You have to be born into it.
>>63653399
When I saw the avengers they had a black out towards the end and had to evacuate the cinema, instead of refunding us they just gave out free movie vouchers to come back and see it, undoubtably making even more money off the same audience through food and beverage purchases.
Faggots
>>63653628
You gotta know jews, the pay is shit obviously.
>>63651552
amerifat here
there's a shooting everytime, no good experiences here.
How is working at a movie theater?
If it changes anything, I love movies and am going to film school next year.
>go to see Gone Girl
>theater is fucking packed, holy shit, it wasn't even like this for Avatar
>sit next to two middle-aged women because there's nowhere else to sit
>they talk through the ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE
>trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey
>"Ooh, now there's a movie I'd like to see"
>she slits NPH's throat
>"Oh God, why did she just do that?"
>end credits
>"That was horrible. At least we got to see Ben Affleck's dingaling!"
I've never wanted to punch someone so bad.
>Been working at a theater for a couple months
>Go to clean a show
>As I get to the top row I notice two young teens going at it
>"h-hey could you two please leave"
>The boy then began to get physical and shove me.
>"HELP"
>The girl begins to snicker as she lets her falcon go and it begins clawing at me
>I stumble backwards down all the stairs and hit my head on the back of a chair
>For this grievous mistake I'm put on crab shucking duty for the next 2 months
I got fired for trying to sneak into a picture house alone after my shift a little after that
>>63651552
>closing the theatre out at the end of the night
>checking washrooms to make sure no one is hiding before I flip the breakers and lock up
>guy sitting backwards on a toilet doing lines of cocaine off the tank lid
>tell him we are closing up
>"ah cool man, I'll be right out"
>30 seconds later he walks passed me and out the front door
>go to check the stall to make sure he didn't leave anything and start writing up a note for the cleaners about that stall
>tank lid is gone
>float ball is gone
>tank flapper is gone
>tank is full of popcorn
>fire extinguisher sized shit in the toilet
>I give it a mercy flush
>its a no go
>say fuck it, lock up and go home
I worked there for about 5 years, so much weird shit happened.
>>63653804
Like shit if you gotta clean up afterwards, pay is shit and never expect to leave the workplace before 1am.
Only good thing is watching movies for free especially if it's stuff that is even hard to come by online.
I was arrested for sneaking in my guinea pig
>watching Blood Diamond
>movie's near the end
>an airstrike's about to happen. The helicopter sounds are getting louder and you know the explosion's going to happen any moment.
>MOVIE SCREEN TURNS SOLID GREEN. SPEAKERS BLAST A SUSTAINED MONOTONE ATARI-LIKE SOUND AT FULL VOLUME.
>EVERYONE COVERING THEIR EARS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
>A minute later, the screen's still green and the sound hasn't stopped. Someone gets up to tell management.
>Light's come up, "sorry folks, no more movie."
>Never saw the end.
>>63653927
Hahahahahahahahaha
I was watching a movie back in 98. The movie caught on fire.
>>63652371
Bullshit.
No one that can understand American is still in fucking Mexico.
![Up_(2009_film)[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/xAObxnt.jpg "Up_(2009_film)[1].jpg")
>>63651713
Fuck this reminded me
>go to theater to see Up
>fat guy walks in
>can't fit into seat
>employees come in to see if there's any way he can sit
>nope
>he leaves theater with tears in his eyes
>sat in cinema waiting for film to start
>screen is blank, ushers begin to walk onto stage
>they're all in costume
>realise that they're literally acting out the film because the projector is broken
>I demand to see management
>they deny that anything is different even when I pinch one of the usher/actor's arms to demonstrate that they aren't a 2D image
>press the issue
>management finds out that I went into the cinema alone anyway and points out the 'no singles policy'
>end up locked in a basement for a week with no food, only survive by licking ancient butter residue from door handle
>released and told to never come back
Fuck theaters
I have two
>as a kid, go to see Bee Movie
>audio doesn't work for the first fourth of the movie
I was very disappointed.The rest of the movie was funny though
>about a year ago
>taking a girl on a first date
>decide to see a normie movie to keep it casual
>Horrible Bosses 2
>walk into theater with her
>reclining seats, fuck yeah
>trailers roll
>"Silence your cellphone" screen comes on
>stays on
>stays on for like 10 minutes
>nobody knows what's going on
>I go out of the theater and tell an employee
>he goes and talks to someone
>comes back and hands me two tickets to a different screening of the same movie that apparently started like 20 minutes earlier than the other one
>okay?
>go back in, get girl, go to the other screening
>miss the first 40 minutes of the movie
>presumably everyone else in the first screening didn't get to see the movie
Anyone here that worked at these places and actually saw shit on the seat or floor? Like, literally shit from someones anus?
>>63654526
Yes.
Grool, shit, piss, cum.
Blood was the most common.
>>63654670Story?
I don't know about "best" but the worst was definitely when the usher scanned my wrist barcode wrong and they sent me to the Butter Quarry
>seeing X-Men First Class with some friends
>One friend leaves to use the bathroom
>He's gone for a long time, the rest of us wonder what's going on
>Eventually he comes back, bleeding from his forehead and extremely sweaty, acting nonchalant
>"I passed out and hit my head on the urinal"
We left the movie early to take him to the hospital, and the theater gave us all free vouchers
>>63654700
Usually younger girls would grool up seats when getting finger blasted. Period blood went along with that.
Shitting was less common, but it was usually kids/old fucks.
Piss was the most common. We had a dude who would come in once a month just to piss himself in the front row of screen 3. Mr. Peebody was eventually banned, but he'd start buying tickets online/at the ABO, then sneaking passed the managers/long term employees, only ever interacting with trainees working the podium. We eventually called the cops on him and he stopped coming to our theatre, but about 6 months later he was arrested for taking his dick out and pissing at a Shakespeare play on the other side of town.
>>63652408
What's it like to be retarded?
>>63654922
>Piss was the most common. We had a dude who would come in once a month just to piss himself in the front row of screen 3. Mr. Peebody was eventually banned, but he'd start buying tickets online/at the ABO, then sneaking passed the managers/long term employees, only ever interacting with trainees working the podium. We eventually called the cops on him and he stopped coming to our theatre, but about 6 months later he was arrested for taking his dick out and pissing at a Shakespeare play on the other side of town.
>my fucking sides
>>63654922
>Mr. Peebody
Now there is a man who was dedicated to his craft.
>>63651552
when I went to see Jurassic World somebody was smoking in the bathroom and set off the fire alarm and we had to leave the theater and wait for them to let us back in.
>Go to the cinema with some random guy off craigslist to get past the no singles policy
>Showering before the flick starts so I don't have to do it during the intermission when everybody else is in there
>Usher catches me using my own soap
>Confiscates it and charges me $5 to use the shitty hair-covered cinema soap
>as he walks away he looks down and sniggers at my penis
I hate that cinema but the only other one near me is a 3 hour drive away.
i got shot
One time an old guy came into some generic horror shit movie me and my friends were seeing and just fell asleep as soon as he hit the chair.
>>63655067
>cigarette smoke
>setting off a fire alarm
k
>be 5 years old
>goto 101 dalmations
>only seats left are the ones in the front row
>craning neck the entire fucking time to barely make out whats going on
>somebody behind us spills their industrial sized coke
>they cause a fucking scene trying to clean it up
>sneakers stuck to floor at the end of the movie because of all the coke
>>63654331
where do cripples sit? couldn't they put him there? (provided there weren't any actual cripples in need of course)
>>63651552
I took this chick to see Annabelle in our first date. Started talking about ourselves during the previews...then during the movie...I don't shut up...she doesn't shut up. The people around us get annoyed and I see some of them giving us killer leers. I didn't care at that moment but now looking back I feel both like an asshole for not shutting up and like a moron for choosing a movie theater has a first date location.
>>63652523
if only you'd continued to kick the boy until his gums couldn't form words, you would have been scot free. tsk tsk
>>63656186
They have a spot for wheelchairs and such but he didn't have one so he was just kind of fucked unless he wanted to sit on the floor.
>>63651552
Went to a movie with a friend. Some autistic dude sat right next to me next to me (there were plenty of open seats around) and tried to talk to me about some sort of comic/anime convention throughout the previews. Entire movie he mumbled and talked to himself and would occasionally make some comment to me. Was really distracting and annoying.
After I booked it out of there and saw him talking to some random black couple about the movie following them out the exit. it was sort of obvious from their body language they were trying to get away from him.
>best
First blowjob during Mr. 3000
>worst
My first blowjob occurred during the worst Bernie Mac movie of all time. I'm sorry Bernie.
>>63656262
ditto but with Looper. at least the movie was a fat shit anyway therefore the angry guy to my right had no reason to be upset
>Got to see Lady in the Water
>Movie starts to go out of focus halfway through
>Nobody does anything for five minutes because we aren't sure if the projector fucked up or if it was one of Shyamalans stupid aesthetic choices
>be 10 years old in 1980 with 2 friends.
>Ride bikes to Apache Plaza Movie theater in Minneapolis
>Bring mentally retarded neighbor along who was 21 years old.
>Walk in movie theater like bosses and try to buy tickets to R rated movie called Alligator.
>Ticket girl says no, you need to be 17 years old or have an adult with you.
>Friend points out that our Mentally retarded friend is 21 and has a bracelet with his contact info on it, including his birthday.
>Ticket girl says, ok, but next time you need a parent.
>sit down in movies and enjoy our soda and popcorn.
>scene in movie where Alligator is chasing people in sewer and they are trying to escape through manhole.
>Van parks on top of manhole
>mentally retarded friend goes apeshit and starts yelling at the screen.
>we all know enough that we need to distance ourselves from him and move down the end of the row leaving him by himself.
>van moves and friends settles down. We watch the rest of the movie undisturbed.
>go to my local kinema
>purchase my mandatory Amex™ "Amex-tra large" tub of popcorn and two gallon Mountain Dew™ Xbox One™ jug, thus gaining access to cool new extras such as Call of Duty™ Zombie Mode avatars
>get in the penis inspection line
>no sweat, my penis report is spotless, I always pass by slipping the inspector a rolled up 50 under my foreskin
>they usually recommend that I go through the jewification process but my foreskin is a family heirloom so I always politely decline
>realize I forgot to take out cash, panic
>all I have on me are a bunch of quarters and my grandfather's lucky WW2 silver dollar
>fuck it, really want to see the movie, manage to cram the coins under my foreskin just before the searchlight shines on me
>finally get to penis inspection, the head of my dick looks like a chipmunk's cheek
>mandatory foreskin rollback
>coins explode everywhere
>"Sir, what's this?"
F-for you
>"Not the quarters, this?"
A s-silver dollar sir.
>"Sir, you know we only accept fiat currency."
>he rings the communist alert and I'm escorted to the bad goy room
>they make me sing God Bless The Federal Reserve twice with my foreskin pulled all the way back, luckily I don't mess up
>since I pay my foreskin tax on time every month I get out of it with only a foreskin warning and the usual jewification speech, but they deducted 3 points from my good goy license for the silver dollar which does suck
>finally get to the theater, kind of angry because I missed all the commercials
>nobody seems to have been shot yet which is weird
>"ladies, gentlemen and all non-binaries, in honor of the recent Paris attacks, our designated shooters will only be firing blanks"
>BOOOOOOOO!!!
>"we apologize for the inconvenience and will be presenting an extra fifteen minutes of racial awareness videos during the Amex™ "Cut Your Interest Rates In Half" Halftime Show"
I couldn't really hear the movie because my wife's black sons kept yelling at each other but I think it was all right
>>63651635
Is this an american thing that you are not allowed to watch a movie alone in the cinema? What is the logic behind it?
>>63657124
11/10
>>63657202
My brother is a manger at a Cinemark... they do not allow solo movie goers. Too many perverts and its the solo people that shot up the theater. He says he has had to kick out a lot of people. Two guys tried to get back in once after they were both kicked out of the same movie, they posed as friends. He laughed at them and told them to get lost.
>>63651635
>>63651740
Wtf, no singles policy? I was going to start seeing some movies alone because it sounds like a nice idea...will this be listed on a theatre's website if it's in place?
>>63657339
does this shit happen for real? wtf... murrica indeed is a magical place, the most annoying thing that can happen here is someone being on his phone constantly or chewing his snack out loud
>>63657444
Not all have it, but most do since the Colorado shooting during Batman. Best bet is to call ahead to see what they say, its better than showing up and being asked to leave.
>>63653399
Went to see TDKR and a fire alarm sounded for like 15 mins of the movie. My friends and I got a full refund.
>>63657517
So, instead of just shooting a place up as one, you go in as two?
Stupid fucking policy.
>>63656632
kek
>Seeing Avengers with my dad
>This was during the last few weeks that theaters were showing it so nobody was there
>It was almost just us in the theater when a MASSIVE 30-something neckbeard walks in with Santa Claus
>They sit front row, can barely fit in their seats
>Neckbeard starts clapping when the logo appears on the screen after Nick Fury made the call to assemble the team
>Movie goes on, he's laughing hysterically at every little quip Tony makes and Santa is falling asleep
>Santa starts snoring
>Hulk punches Thor after the big battle with the flying monster things and Neckbeard falls out of his seat laughing
>He claps when the movie is over and I hear him ranting about how amazing it was to their truck
>mfw the ride home and my dad is making fun of them
>>63651552
in both circumstances, generally black people.
Some are hilarious and comment on the movie or discuss it openly, and if the movie sucks/small group in the theatre they laugh at it.
Other times they talk too much, bring in food or just be obnoxious and we have to kick them out, which usually takes about 5 of us.
I swear I thought this was all a stereotype until I had it happen a few times
best
>14 years old
>seeing a movie with friends, forget which one
>a group of pretty older girls come in, like 18-20 year olds
>loud, cocky, cheerleader attitude
>sit right behind us, whispering and giggling well after the movie starts
>feel something on the back of my chair
>turn around and see a pair of bare feet on my head rest
>close enough I can smell them
>all of them have their feet up, still whispering and looking right at me
>giving me the "whatcha gonna do about it?" look
>jokes on them Ive got a harden that could kill somebody
>get up a handful of times and fap in the bathroom
>later on my friends say how rude the girls were
>had to sit lopsided on the ride home because dick actually hurt
worst
>sitting in seats with friends, movie is about to start
>lights out, everyones getting settled
>a grown man comes in late, looking around for his friends I guess
>he stops right at my seat (on the end)
>hand slowly and cautiously reaches for my seat
>I shrink back, don't know what to do, friends are staring
>he grabs my hair, yelps, says sorry and runs down the stairs
>my friends and everyone around laugh for about 5 minutes
>>63656632
>Be 8 or so
>so to see the total classic "Bebe's Kids" in the theater
>I have yet to learn about black people and their loquaciousness in movie theaters.
>everyone talks through the previews
>everyone talks through the first five minutes of the movie
>shush the black mob
>shut up cracka
>stand up to see who it is
>I can't tell as there is like a dozen blacks there shuckin and jivin at Bebe Kids (who dont die they just multiply)
>fuck this shit
>take my xtra large soda
>wing it at the crowd, literally drenching them all in cherry coke
>I just fucking run
>out of the theater
>into the parking lot
>go back into the mall and go to the video arcade
>from my vantage point at the Simpsons Arcade Game I can see 6 of them loudly arguing with a cop
>serves em right
>Bebe's kids probably died or something
>>63652408
Bye reddit
>work at movie theater
>hear some girl who was by herself say that someone should shoot amy schumer
>she didn't say this to anyone in particular
>about 4 hours later the trainwreck movie got shot up
I wonder how she felt about making that remark after.
One time I found a loaded handgun. It was a Glock I believe? Somebody had brought in a CCW and I guess dropped it. This was before the Dark Knight shooting, interestingly enough.
One time I also found 5 of those tiny bottles of liquor that they give you on airplanes? Except they were completely unopened. You'd think that if they bothered to sneak them in they would drink them.
I worked at one of those fancy dine in theatres over the last year, where you can order food and alcohol and such. Demi Lovato and The Fez came on Christmas Day to see Into The Woods. They sat in the very front row to avoid detection, and tipped $100 on a $30-40 bill. Made working that shitty day worth it, for sure.
>>63652523
>suddenly get angry
>kick them again
lost it
