The 40-Year-Old Virgin is over ten years old.
Did yourself in 2005 like it?
Does yourself in 2015 like it?
>>63646862
So he's 50 years old virgin now?
DUDE
>>63647048
HAHAAA EPIC XD
SEX
Only 11 more years, family. Only 11 more years.
LMAO
>>63647048
Come to brazil
I couldn't get into it because the premise was just so unrealistic.
>>63646862
>40 years is older than 10
no shit, OP
>>63647145
If you've masturbated, you arent a virgin
>>63647048
Nah, he gets pozzed in the neghole in the movie.
>>63646862
yeah,I liked it a lot back inthe day.
I've hindered my ability to enjoy it ever since /tv/ hardwired DUDE WEED LMAO to this kind of humor in my brain, but is a comfy little movie, and it gave Carell enough name recognition to get sad parts, which are also good.
>>63647091
I was eight.
>>63646862
Liked it in 2005. Hits a little too close to home now
>>63647166
They sort of made it explicit that the dude did not masturbate AT ALL
I loved it back when it came out.
I still think it's a good movie, but nothing too special.
>>63647166
that's not how it goes
>>63647213
this t.b.h. family.
since there has been no progress in my life I think I still like this movie.
>>63647262
a man cannot be "de-flowered", idiot
only women can be virgins or not
>>63646862
It was shit back then, it is shit now. No idea why this shitty comedy of all comedy movies gets a pass. Most Adam Sandler movies are better.
>>63647213
Ayy me too
>>63647320
thats some serious level of denial you're on my friend
>>63647320
Tell that to Tim Tebow
>>63647320
Check your fucking privilege
>>63647213
>>63647287
>>63647310
>>63647367
i know how that feels
>12 year old myself didn't see it because it looked stupid and I didn't find Steve Carrell funny
>Hits close to home, now although he has more friends than me. I still think it's a mediocre flick.
>tfw there's actually a possibility I lose my virginity tomorrow
Give me some tips so I don't spill spaghetti all over her when attempting to fuck her
>>63647440
viagra
if you spill your spaghetti you can at least blame it on her because you're still hard
I wouldn't have understood the humor in 2005. The autism hadn't gone into remission yet at that point.
>>63647425
why does his arm look like my dick when it's diamonds?
>>63647091
same :d fug
I watched like 3 times, and if some friends invite me to watch I would watch again. I like it very much.I'm 30 and only fuck my hand for a lot of years now
I was drunk and high when I saw it in theaters. It made me laugh a lot, but I've not had any desire to re-watch it since then.
>>63646862
Thought it was hilarious, seen it a few times and tastes have changed, now I chuckle at parts of it.
I've come to realize that Apatow is shit now that I'm older. Are there any truly funny movies left in this world? >inb4 annie meme
One of the first times I got high with a friend we tried to watch this movie. It was dull as fuck so we turned it off and watched Dirty Sanchez instead. I've never laughed harder in my life.
>do you know how i know your gay? bc you told me your gay
>Did yourself in 2005 like it?
>Does yourself in 2015 like it?
Saw it in theaters and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.
Watched the unrated version and hated the fuck out of it.
The power of editing.
>>63646862
my self in 2005 was 13
my self now is 23
both selfs love 40yo virgin but i can appreciate it a lot more that i am older.
>>63647431
> he has more friends than me
This. His fabricated loser life was still better than mine. Also he wasn't kissless
>>63646862
I've never seen it.
>>63646862
>2005
>"haha what a loser"
>2015
>"Shit, only 16 years to go until I'm Andy"
>not losing your virginity to a hooker
It was mediocre but still entertaining.
It's bad but still entertaining.
How do you even manage to be a virgin after you are 25. You must be legitimately socially autistic, ugly as fuck, and poor as shit ontop of it all.
I would had hired a prostitute (done it while being sexually active too) if I hadn't got my dick wet before being 18.
>inb4 newfag normie
I've been here since 09' so don't come to me with some bullshit excuse. Anyone with more than 150 dollars can loose his virginity to a decent bitch, just cover your dick.
I've never liked it.
It drags on for too long and the humor is not my style.
>>63647482
Thats... actually not that bad of an idea.
>>63647440
Viagra tip is fucking atrocious.
Best tip in your life incoming. Preparation to sex is where it's at, spend 15 minutes sucking her tits, touching her, licking her pussy, etc.. You only need five minutes if your prep was good, and don't mind if your dick goes hard and soft throughout preparation, when it comes to it, and bitch is on her fours, unless you are homosexual, you'll dick will perform well. Also, masturbate twice throughout the day, jerk it at least 1 hour before you initiate the game.
Don't over think it.
You somebodys nigga, wearing this nigga tie
>>63654762
It's a terrible, horrible idea. Only a virgin could think otherwise.
>>63647130
14 years left here. Fuck this movie.
>>63654762
Yes it is because Viagra won't help you if you can't get an erection due to nerves or because she's gross. It just increases blood flow.
>>63654589
>I've been here since 09' so don't come to me with some bullshit excuse.
Everyone make way for this badass.
>>63654589
I'm a bipolar shut-in with schizoaffective personality disorder. I've been posting on 4chan since 2004, it's my only social contact with humans.
>>63647130
Same. I don't even care anymore.
I actually tried to rewatch it just a couple weeks ago but it was too awkward
>>63654926
>schizoaffective personality disorder
I'll take "made-up bullshit" for $200.
>>63654962
I don't hallucinate
>>63654906
Don't reply to me you filthy low class plebeian scum, I can smell your dried shit and cum stains from my monitor.
>>63646862
Liked it then, thought it was good and very entertaining.
Think it's ok now and I chuckle farely much throughout it. If it's on tv one night and I have nothing else to do, I'll watch it with a bag of chips.
>>63655008
Good for you.
But schizoaffective disorder does include psychosis and it isn't a personality disorder so you're still making shit up.
>>63654926
4chan wasn't up in 04', lying newfaggot.
Take your bullshit online exam and get the fuck out.
>>63655114
>>63655124
you're right I'm lying
>>63655193
Why the fuck lie on 4chan. I've been here long enough, first years you just throw shit and fuck with others, I can't be bothered anymore, I've been helped out, and don't mind helping anons. So why the fuck can't you get laid?
>>63647130
what the fuck are you doing family
go fuck a backpage hooker right now to get over the mental roadblocks that have no doubt become immense at this point
>>63655193
Now go kill yourself.
>>63655281
>first years you just throw shit and fuck with others
I'm still doing that after nearly 7 years.
I was 14 when I started coming here. I think 4chan had more hand in raising me than my parents did. And yes I realise that's pathetic.
>>63655281
I can. I lost my virginity in university to my girlfriend who was kind of average but had a great personality.
>>63655328
Make me, idiot.
NIPPLEFUCK
>>63654962
Hey, not him, but fuck you anon, I have that to. I don't see things, but I hear voices and struggle with lack of motivation, alogia and have a lot of mixed episodes (mania and depression at the same time).
that girl was a ho...fo sho
>>63655419
It's not a personality disorder, hearing voices IS a hallucination, and you can't be diagnosed with bipolar disorder AND schizoaffective disorder at the same time, you dumb fucking shit.
>>63655346
Yeah I'm the idiot. You can't even lie convincingly on the internet.
>>63655497
You're the only one lying here.
I didnt see it in 2005
Now I really don't want to see it
>>63655328
>I was 14 when I started coming here. I think 4chan had more hand in raising me than my parents did. And yes I realise that's pathetic.
I definitely have a different view of the world than most people. All those memes and redpill posts contributing to my development. My view on women definitely got fucked up, and I'm trying to heal that. Seriously those who spend their days on /r9k/ just stop. It's incredibly poisonous. I don't like walking down the street and analyzing mens facial aesthetics. It's become a damn obsession. Though I think I'd make a good casting director.
>>63655548
How is he lying when he clearly has knowledge on psychological afflictions..?
>>63655595
He's stating things that aren't true as being true. Maybe it's more accurate to say he's uninformed?
>>63655497
Never fucking claimed it was you idiot. It's a mental disorder defined by symptoms of both schizzofrenia and Bipolar-disorder, but not enough to be diagnosed with having either.
>>63655577
>My view on women definitely got fucked up, and I'm trying to heal that.
Yeah, I had that for a while.
>>63655595
Ignore him, he's baiting in a desperate attempt at damage control. Everything I said is true and easily verifiable.
>>63655699
>baiting
I started the baiting meme on /vg/ and now everyone is misusing it...
>>63655577
Why the fuck would anyone go to fucking /r9k/.. I remember I got into some video game streaming sites, when I first came in 2009 (started in /v/ and haven't been there in years) and I knew a guy from a stream site who got diagnosed with depression after spending so much time in that shithole, fucking dumbass, that place is as cancerous as snorting plutonium.
>>63654381
tfw you did this and regret it every day.
tfw been with over 60 hookers and had to take a home hiv test to quell your fears because you were an idiot on multiple occasions
tfw can never tell your secret to real people
>>63646862
2005 me thought it was pretty funny, but not exceptionally so. 2015 me thinks it has some charm, but I can't sit through the whole thing anymore. It's too fucking awkward.
>>63655684
>Never fucking claimed it was you idiot
So you didn't write "I'm a bipolar shut-in with schizoaffective personality disorder"?
>It's a mental disorder defined by symptoms of both schizzofrenia and Bipolar-disorder, but not enough to be diagnosed with having either
Yes, that's why you can't have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder at the same time. The definition of SAD already covers the BPD symptoms.
>>63646862
AAAAAAAAAAAA
>The distance between this year and 2050 is the same as the distance between this year and 1980
>>63655835
oh wow did you just discover wikipedia yesterday? I guess now you are more qualified to diagnose me than my psychotherapist
>>63655835
>So you didn't write "I'm a bipolar shut-in with schizoaffective personality disorder"?
No you fucking idiot. I'm>>63655419
>>63655852
That's kinda comforting. My friends always say I smoke and drink too much, but I always tell them I believe in science and medical advances ;)
They'll be able to treat all the shit I'm killing myself with atm in 35 years time.
>>63655777
>tfw can never tell your secret to real people
That's the real issue for me. That I have this deep dark secret that I never want ANYBODY to know. I'm terrified of the reaction of any girl I date.
>>63650942
DUDE
>>63655932
>No
Then why are you talking to me? Fuck off.
>>63655891
No I didn't and yes I am, because:
1. You can be a therapist without a postgrad psychology degree
2. If your therapist called it "schizoaffective personality disorder" he is a fucking retard who confused it with schizoid or schizotypal personality disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is not a personality disorder. It's in the fucking name: "affective" means pertaining to mood.
>>63646862
Saw it in the theaters on the date. Was a lot of fun. I think I'll always have a bit of nostalgia for it because of that.
>>63656031
so because I typed it wrong I'm lying? I was diagnosed a decade ago
>>63655577
>I don't like walking down the street and analyzing mens facial aesthetics. It's become a damn obsession.
The fuck?
Explain please. I don't want to go to that shithole.
>>63656095
Not him. But nice back pedaling you lying cunt. These type of disorders are checked regularly.
I've known schizoids and bipolars and they go regularly to their treating specialist.
>>63656095
No you weren't, stop lying.
>>63656031
Why am I talking to you? Because you misunderstood everything I wrote and claimed that I said I had a personality disorder you utter cunt.
>>63656138
Isn't it obvious, they self obsess over any minor detail. Why you think /fit/ literally provokes body dysmorphia on some idiots. Daft cunts think only ripped bodies to be normal.
Now multiply that by 10, and in every aspect of your life and personality.
>>63656171
>>63656191
yeah sorry, I was actually diagnosed with clinical Lier's Disorder
it's a schizoaffective spectrum disorder where I can't stop lying
>le tough love adviser
Jesus Christ, we're all adults here, go back to /fit/, man.
14 years until I am him... Who am I kidding I'll be long dead.
I was a 20-something year old virgin then, and I thought it was funny.
I'm 30-something year old virgin now, and i'm starting to think it was more of an omen or something.
>>63656192
>Why am I talking to you? Because
It was a rhetorical question.
>you misunderstood everything I wrote
No. I called the other anon out for lying, you stuck up for him, I listed the things he said which were wrong so you would understand why he was lying, and then you got defensive.
>40 year old virgin
>but he has a decent job, a good body and a huge penis
what the fuck how can I relate
>>63656496
>salesman at radioshack
>decent job
kek
>>63656250
Pretty much this. The /r9k/ mentality makes you reject yourself. They don't talk to people, let alone women. They have this idealized version of themselves in their minds and won't allow themselves to just enjoy life unless they're exactly that.
/fit/ is the same, except they haven't given up (yet) and are still obsessed with changing themselves. Most men who go through that self-improvement phase end up miserable sooner or later. Speaking from experience and observing other men as well.
>>63656317
effectively this.
>>63656635
You can't even get that job anymore, cause Radioshack no longer exists.
>movie about a middle aged guy who never lost his virginity
>this is treated as some kind of crisis that has to be resolved
lt's good, Carrel, and the rest of the cast have a lot of funny lines, even DUDE WEED LMAO man but he's just a smart ass pot head in that, not the jepik WEED lS SUPER AMAZING annoying ass hole. Also a barely legal Kat Dennings is also nice. Ya, funny enough comedy
>>63654381
>not having to pay for it with a girl who genuinely loves you
I'll pray for you, anons.
>>63654786
This!
There was one girl who, whenever I came close to popping, and since I'm good at eating pussy, I'd surprise her and instantly shift down and start eating her out. It would surprise her and she'd cum like a fountain. Then continue until I felt like I would pop again... rinse and repeat.
>>63654381
>not losing your virginity to a 16 year old virgin during your late teens
>>63656000
>>63655777
best to keep it hid and try to leave that part of yourselves in the past. you guys are disgusting though, i mean that honestly. If I found out my sisters boyfriend fucked hookers secretly/didn't tell her, I'd probably kill him.
nice trips btw
>>63656980
>filename
supreme keks
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Who's watching this in DECEMBER?
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
>>63658312
barely worth a kek.
Would have been funnier during Paris attacks.
>>63654786
>>63657603
my problem is, the only easy opportunity for sex is picking up girls at clubs. where am I gonna jerk off, in the cab on the way to her place? I know im gonna bust in less than a minute on my first time, which is why i avoided one night stands and hoped to meet a virgin girl i could 'train up' on. you know, dip your toes before you jump in the deep end. now that im 21 theres fuck all virgins around.
should i just get tinder and be done with it? im alright looking and tall as fuck. girls hit on me. im not autistic by 4chan standards but im definitely more autistic than the average normie. eveyone assumes ive been laid, or ive lied to them. help me anons
>>63658588
>get tinder
>dont make your profile all autistic, just put your height and something comedically offensive
>just start swipin right
>after you match with a few shoot them 'whats your opinion on being tied up?'
>dont be an extreme autist and fuck it upafter they respond
>arrange to meet at their place
>rinse repeat
ur welcome nigger.
>>63658712
>after you match with a few shoot them 'whats your opinion on being tied up?'
lmao. ok, ill try this.
>dont be an extreme autist and fuck it upafter they respond
yeah, 95% of people i know irl think of me as a normal guy. that funny guy, even. but a few times, girls have seen through my ruse. got called out for being a virgin by this friend of a friend, took my by surprise. how she knew, i have no fuckn idea. how is my behaviour possibly going to change after getting my dick wet? is it actually life changing?
>>63658900
>how she knew, i have no fuckn idea. how is my behaviour possibly going to change after getting my dick wet?
This scares me... Do strangers know I'm a virgin just from one conversation? Hold me /tv/
>>63654841
iktf
>over ten years old.
>2005 was 10 years ago
Man I was watching the White Sox win the world series with my dad back then, 2005-2007 still don't seem that long ago to me.
My opinion on it hasn't changed, it's a pretty good movie. I don't care about losing my virginity anymore though, which is slightly troubling.
I'd still rather have a figure collection and watch Everybody Loves Raymond instead of having penis in vagina and dealing with some teenager.
>not wanting to become a wizard
smdh
>>63656317
>tfw go to strip clubs every 6 months or so just to get the feeling of a woman in my mind again
>>63659493
>I'd still rather have a figure collection and watch Everybody Loves Raymond instead of having penis in vagina
those things aren't mutually exclusive, anon. don't be so self-defeatist. it only leads to unhappiness.
>>63647145
>I couldn't get into it because the premise was just so unrealistic.
numbers of partners america USA 2002 how it was before tinder.png
>>63658900
>how is my behaviour possibly going to change after getting my dick wet? is it actually life changing?
Yep. You realize, however nice it is, getting laid is overrated. Then you realize how you put the pussy on a pedestal and it doesn't belong there. Then you realize nothing belongs there.and then you start drinking, hoping your liver fails before this boring as fuck life you live kills you first
>>63659659
It was for Andy, don't armchair psychologist me bro.
>>63659909
>don't armchair psychologist me bro.
bitch please. most people who have bought ELR box sets have been laid at least once. at least some of those who own figurine collections have been laid at least once. it follows then, that you're making excuses and your hobbies aren't actually the problem.
>>63660016
I don't buy shows, or watch that show, I was talking about the movie because this isn't the board for all knowing dickheads.
>>63659783
>Then you realize how you put the pussy on a pedestal and it doesn't belong there. Then you realize nothing belongs there.
I see. like i said though, i dont put it on a pedestal. i dont really think of sex as a big deal but i know it will be if i con a girl into believing im experienced then i bust inside her after 3 strokes. why couldnt i have fucked my ugly hs girlfriend years ago. im an idiot.
>and then you start drinking, hoping your liver fails before this boring as fuck life you live kills you first
thats dark, man. you should try acid. just once. cant promise anything but it gave me a new lease on life. i sure dont want to give it up. even if just for the fact ive got hundreds of movies bookmarked that i want to experience before i go.
I liked it in 2005
I don't think I'd like it as much now. The chest waxing scene stands out as pretty cringe inducing, and not because the waxing. The yelling random celebrities' names gag was pretty dumb back then and I'm sure it hasn't aged well.
The mortal kombat scenes between Paul Rudd and Seth Whoslastnameescapesme was funny because it was just two dudes improvising dumb insults. Also the bit with the boots in the eBay Store was/still is gold. Paul Rudd being drunk and belligerent in the electronics store is great.
I'd say 2005 me would give it a 7/10 and the 2015 me would give it 4.5/10.
Movies where the sole plot is the get the main character laid are so lame, Apatow only got away with it due to the strong cast and the fact that it was based around older characters.
>>63660068
stay salty
>>63659216
They don't. Unless you blurt out some 'bag of sand'-tier shit.
>>63660090
>bust inside her after 3 strokes
I was in the same exact situation, and you won't. Mostly because you're going to THINK you'll cum in 3 strokes, actually get in there, and then say "oh...so this is pussy, huh..." to yourself and you'll last a lot longer.
You'll actually likely have the opposite problem if you use a condom as they are a shitty invention and you can't hardly feel the overrated pussy you're prodding.
>you should try acid
Already have, and mushrooms. Don't wear out the drugs, that's what you'll get your kicks from in a few years.
>>63660203
>I was in the same exact situation, and you won't. Mostly because you're going to THINK you'll cum in 3 strokes, actually get in there, and then say "oh...so this is pussy, huh..." to yourself and you'll last a lot longer.
fair call. i just find that my first fap of the day/first fap of in a few days, i come quick as hell. its only after i jerk it a couple times i can last more than a few minutes of wanking.
>Already have, and mushrooms. Don't wear out the drugs, that's what you'll get your kicks from in a few years.
good advice. i got real burnt out smoking bud this year. was getting high literally every day for 7 or 8 months... im tryna keep psychs a very occasional thing.
>>63656858
There's still stores open
>>63660636
dont ever do opiates ever, not even prescribed. I think i speak for millions of people across the planet alive and dead.
>>63658588
>now that im 21 theres fuck all virgins around.
>>63647332
hit a little too close to home buddy?
at 26, being forced into a situation like Carrel was where he was hanging with his coworkers and sex swapping stories came up is a constant and looming fear for me.
I know if it ever happens I'll be ousted (as if they don't know by now)
>>63663224
just lie
>2005
Thought it was hilarious.
>2015
Pretty sad when I realize I've basically become Carrell's character in nearly every way.
>>63664772
You're 40 and still posting on 4chan?
>>63654589
Well I'm 21 right now
I've had plenty of girls that liked me and I'm not a sperg. I just don't know
I don't ever ask girls out on dates or shit. I don't get their numbers. I can easily talk to them but then it's just that. Like, I keep thinking "right well maybe someday I'll be able to spend some time alone with her or whatever and things will just happen"
But that literally has NEVER EVER happened. So it's more of a "I guess I'm too much of a pussy to try something" thing than anything else
It's fucked up
>>63665135
i was at where you were at like two years ago when i first turned 18. are you telling me you never got laid in college? i put in zero effort and still get laid around once every 4-6 months.im in a fraternity and play a sport so maybe thats it? inb4 normie im still alone
>>63665197
College where I live isn't like in the US
we don't have dorms, we don't live in campus. Even then 90% of the people I know spend a majority of their day at campus but a good part of that time is spent on classes and homework and shit. I'm fairly normie by 4chan standards so if the situation was different we probably wouldn't be talking about this
So in my 2 and a half years in college no I haven't had anything. Closest has been when I've gone out to a party or some place and hooking up with random girls there but zero chance of sex even then.
So aside of not meeting almost any cute girls at college, I also don't meet girls anywhere else so yeah
>>63654589
>socially autistic, ugly as fuck, and poor as shit ontop of it all.
that's me
