How do you get back at the theatre, if a movie is bad? Throw drinks on the floor, break something in the bathroom,etc...?
>>63603760
I just leave my piss bottle and shit bucket for the them to find (^:<
I throw a can's worth of pickled herring at the screen
I poo in the theater shower and wafflestomp it down the drain, clogging it.
You know that guy who don't dance during the intermission fining the theatre a 300 dollars?
Ya that's me
i leave empty crab shells under the seats
>>63603858
Mah nigga
Trowing some eggs at the screen is always funny too.
I personally bring maple syrup packets with me just in case the audience is bad or the movie it's self was shit. I chew open my syrup packs and squeeze them all over the seats around me. my theater put up a sign looking for help to catch the 'Sticky bandit'.
>>63604001
The theatre didn't make the movie you fucking degenerate. How about you behave like a human being, and not make some juvenile physical display of being a mental infant. Why in the fuck is this a question? GET BACK AT THE THEATRE? The theatre didn't make you watch the movie, it didn't even recommend it, it didn't even necessarily say that the product was good. They just put the movie on the marquee and you bought a ticket out of your own free will you dipshit apocalypse. GET BACK AT THE THEATRE? How about I get back at your mom for making such a dumbass autist. Albeit a highly functioning dumbass autist but a dumbass autist proper. Get back at the theatre?! Fuck you OP, for proving once again that you're always a faggot.
>>63603760
None of this shit is "getting back at the theater". All you're doing is causing some teenager making minimum wage a ton more work and feeling smug about yourself. The theater couldn't care less about it. The mouthbreathing public is gonna leave their trash there anyway.
>>63603760
Piss on the chair desu
>>63604122
Retard
>>63604122
this nigga knows
>>63604122
>>63604129
>redditors
fuck off to your internet hugbox
>>63604122
>>63604129
spotted the redditors
why do they lack a sense of humor?
>>63604122
You have overstayed your welcome reddit.
>>63603760
Switch your ticket to a better movie.
Fucking pleb faggot scum
>>63603760
I throw my leftover popcorn on the floor regardless of the movie being bad. Fuck them. I'm more of a job creator than Obama
>>63603760
If you do this at a movie theater, fuck you. There is a trash can on the way out the door.
Sincerely, the person cleaning up your mess
>>63604122
If a movie is bad then the ticketmaestro should give you a warning as you're buying a ticket. Also the ticket should be half off and come with free food.
>>63604242
topkek
>>63604251
lol lowlife trash.
I pull down my pants a little if it's still dark, and poop on the seat.
>>63604251
>"please do my job for me"
>>63604169
>>63604185
>>63604215
>>63604217
found the underage edgemasters :^)
Vote for Obama
>>63604185
? Oh, so I said something that you disagree with so I should go back to a place that is apparently a hugbox, because you don't want my opinions Because my dissenting opinions go elsewhere makes this not a hugbox?
You're fucking retarded. Your whole life is a hugbox. When was the last fucking second you were outside of your comfort zone? When was the last time you even thought of not spending your whole day on /tv/? It's because this place makes you feel comfortable and safe because you prefer a hugbox over navigating a life you idiot. You absolute fucking idiot. I'm suprised you can do the captcha's to post you god damn fuck.
I dump my entire popcorn bucket on the floor after spilling my drink everywhere. Popcorn gets stuck in the sticky mess and the cleaner has to actually make an effort.
>>63604001
>>63604122
my sides
good thread
>>63604301
(You)
I went to the cinema with a girl last weekend and we wasn't sure what to see, so we asked the girl behind the counter what she recommended and she said Hunger Games so thought why not i'll give it a try. Upon sitting down i saw it was part 2 having never even seen part 1 or being told it was a part 2, strike 1 lady. Then the film was supposed to start at half 7 and it didn't start until 8 meaning it would be too late after the film for my mum to pick us up so we would have to walk, strike 2 lady. Watched the film and it was shit, STRIKE 3 slut. So we're about to leave and i see the manager locking up, i ask him if i can have a quick word and he says okay. Tell him i saw one of his staff members stood at the back of the room throughout the film with a phone in her hand and thought i should report it. He thanks me for telling him and asks if he knows who it was, i said it was pretty dark so i didn't get a good look and just at that moment she came walking down the corridor. I said that's her i remember the piercings and just my luck she's on her phone which she apparently shouldn't have with her in the cinema. He thanks me again and lets us leave then shouts her to come with him. Not sure what happened, but i hope the bitch got fired
I stick my finger down my throat and puke all over the best seats.
Not only do they have to be cleaned, people aren't going to want to sit there, costing the cinema money.
>>63603760
It's not the theater's fault the film was bad.
>>63604122
>not getting back at the theater for cramming bad art down the throats of the public
>>63604580
But they obviously watched it first to see if it was worth showing and decided it was
>It's not the theater's fault the film was bad.
Are you guys srs this dumb?
The theatre tricked you into watching a bad movie (trailer before a movie, big poster outside, crabs)
it's totally their fault
>>63603760
Literally shitting in the middle of the bathroom floor. A nice big turd
>mfw kicking my half-full popcorn down the asile at the end
that's what you get for charging me 10 dollars
>>63604580
They pre-viewed the movie, so they know how good it is. If the movie was bad they could atleast have the decency to give some free lobstertails or a discount.
>smuggle a big tub of peanuts into movie
>toss them at people for the entire 150 minute run time
>cinema sets $1500 bounty on head of the Peanut Pest
>but they have no idea it's me
I've done this over 10 times, they'll never catch me.
>>63604357
I make sure the retards who would have otherwise enjoyed it don't by throwing stuff and talking on my cellphone. If they're enjoying the movie then they're clearly of such a low intellectual level that they don't deserve to be entertained.
I spread rumors about no singles policy.
>>63603760
Dick move m8 i work in a theater
>>63604869
>WAHHAH I DON"T WANN DO MY JOB
it's like the janitor giving me dirty looks after taking a massive shit in the sink
lol do your job fucker
Is this whole thread bait or are people actually this retarded? Movie theaters barely make any money from ticket sales, hence why snacks and drinks are so expensive. I really hope this is bait.
>>63603760
I just command my falcon to shit on the heads of all the cleaners, serves them right
Fucking hell, I can't tell if you guys are being serious or not. I never do drastic shit like some of what was mentioned. I just rub my dick and then touch the seats or let loose a really sinking fart to soak into the upholstery.
>>63604929
then the theater could have set up a mcdonalds or a red lobster because popcorn and a drink cost 20 fuckn dollars
I got so upset at the goosebumps movie that I emptied my colostomy bag all over the stair railings
fuck you jack black you ruined my childhood.
If you do this at a movie theater, fuck you. There is a trash can on the way out the door.
Sincerely, the person cleaning up your mess
Shoot the place up.
>>63604975
I do the same except I tell him to puncture their eyes, since they clearly aren't using them anyways if they work for such shitty movies
I don't go to the theater to watch bad films. Insane, I know.
I urinate on whoever is in front of me. For some reason, they really hate that.
As soon as the movie is over I dump all of my popcorn on the floor and my drink on top of it to get it soggy and harder to clean up.
Fuck them for charging so much for food in the first place anyway,.
>>63604122
>why would you get mad at the grocery store for selling rotten food? they didn't make the food or make you buy it, it's your fault for eating it
you're a retard
I take along my dog who I say is a guide dog for the blind, then I just let the dog loose and let him shit and piss all over the theater room.
I've done this a few times, managed to get discount to because I said I can't even see the movie so I demanded half the price.
>>63605005
holy shit me too anon. ily.
Protip: Throw something sticky (like Coke) at the window to the projection booth. It will dry quickly in the heat of the projector and they'll have to stop the movie and refund everyone (including you, if you do it subtly). They also won't be able to clean it off because it will carbonize so you'll stop a few showings from happening.
I prepare for a week before the movie by not wiping my ass. I then go to the theater and rub my bare, dirty ass on as many seats as I can. Also, I smuggle in a bag of jizz soaked napkins that I litter around the theater.
Me and my friends sometimes go to the movies, blazed out of our minds and watch a random movie. If it's shit, we go berserk.
We spill our drinks all over the floor, spread the popcorn everywhere and there's always one motherfucker with nacho and cheese. Literally turning the container upside down and then stomping on it so the nacho, cheese, and smell goes everywhere. We kick the backs of the seats in front of us, breaking through it and making sure those seats are fucked up permanently.
Once we get out, we go the bathrooms and fuck up everything there. We piss all over the sinks, shit in the trashcans, shit on the floor, piss everywhere.
>>63605280
> because I said I can't even see the movie
thats fucking gold
>>63605437
This is why blacks shouldn't be allowed in movie theaters
>>63605280
I work at a morgue so I cut off fingers, penises, and other body parts of dead people and hide them in places. I once put a black cock in a toilet for the heck of it.
Every movie should have its RT and Metacritic score displayed before the trailers start so you have time to refund your tickets and popcorn if you so desire.
/r9k/ is running ramped today
>>63603760
It depends who I'm with
If I'm there with a female I normally go and demand to speak to the manager, then demand a refund. They normally only give you one voucher (which I give to the female of course) but the assertiveness always impresses them. Both times I've gone on dates with a female it has been to the movie theatre and both times they have said the film wasn't good but that my actions afterwards impressed them
If I'm by myself I will normally just spill some food on the floor or maybe write a bad review on a few websites
This is why I always bring a container of shrimp or other small fish so if the movie sucks I just hide them around the cinema on my way out.
My favorite spots are in between the cushion and the seat, or behind those big speaker cushions on the walls.
>>63605471
Go back to /pol/ please, stormweenie.
>>63605631
Do you write a bad review about the movie or the theatre?
>>63605277
"Rotten food" means the product fundamentally didn't function. That'd be if the projector was broken or something and you couldn't see the movie. They do give refunds for that.
This is more like you bought some food you'd never tried before and tried to return it because "I didn't like how it tastes"
>>63605638
>stormweenie
>>63605636
>This is why I always bring a container of shrimp or other small fish so if the movie sucks I just hide them around the cinema on my way out.
I've done this a couple of times too. The best way to do it is to mix them with some water, then crush them up a bit so it all soaks into the seats. If it's a warm day the smell will be there for weeks
>>63605659
If the theater is playing a bad movie, that's their choice. I'd write a bad review of a store that sold shitty produce so why not a theater that sells bad movies?
I steal the towels. but I do that no matter how good the movie is.
>>63605437
If this is true then you are inevitably going to be banned.
Better start investing in a home entertainment system, niggers.
>>63603760
I took my wife's son to a movie last week and it cost me a fortune. The movie sucked so he left a piece of bubble gum under the seat to annoy them lol
>>63605766
What did the bull have to say about that?
>>63605277
This nigga gets it
I shoot up the theatre
>>63605766
Back when they had reusable 3D glasses, I used to scratch the fuck out of them before I returned them (they put security shit in the arms so you can't steal them) because they charged so much for a 3D feature. I'd also twist them to shit so they wouldn't sit right on someone's head.
>>63605823
Made me sleep in the shed again :(
>>63604725
>150 minute runtime
Oh so the entire theater is filled with beta film connissewers that look at the ground when someone makes eyecontact. Not impressed. Go do it during a blue collar showing. Go do it during one of sethual rogan's showings and see what happens when you mess with the dudebro audience
You guys are amateurs at this
Most theatres have a metal grate for the heating that runs down the sides of the room. If you're in certain seats, you can slide it off a bit because they use it to get access for maintenance. I always make sure to sit in these if I can (you're also away from everyone else)
If a movie's bad I sneak out halfway and squeeze out a nice big turd into a big empty plastic bottle, then add some warm water from the bathroom tap and shake it up so it's all mixed in. Then I go back to my seat, open up the grate and slowly poor it all in. It's sloped so it all goes down the sides and starts slowly spreading.
Best of all the smell won't kick in until after the 'stinker' ends, saving you from any damage
>>63605766
>my wife's son
Not only is it still funny, but it gets better with each use.
>>63604725
You should dive that bounty up as high as it can go. Consider switching peanut for gumdrops you've been sucking on for a 10 minutes.
Throw one of those in someone's hair and ruin their day. Get one on the screen and it's never coming off.
Drive up the bounty and then have a friend turn you in and split the money.
>>63605547
I don't. But I will. Don't go to theaters when TFA realeses.
>>63603760
I switch the hot/cold water labels at the cinema showers.
>>63603760
Yeah, make the janitors clean it up, that will really stick it to them!
>>63603760
I fire my gun off like a true American.
>>63603760
I sleep somewhere else that night. Usually have them begging for me back by morning.
I put laxatives in frozen rats and feed them to the cinema falcons.
>>63606512
God forbid they work for a living. Its bad enough they're janitors, they shouldn't also be lazy.
After Anti-Man, I slipped my colostomy bag down the leg of my blue jeans and stomped on it on my way out.
I set my falcon on the employees.
>If you do this at a movie theater, fuck you. There is a trash can on the way out the door. Sincerely, the person cleaning up your mess.
Lmao at this faggot.
You charge $16 for a burger, fries and a drink? Get fucked. I'll leave whatever mess I want you thieving shitbags.
>That good feel while wiping my greasy fry fingers on a seat and leaving a wrapper full of tomatoes and onions on the floor
Literally spit and force my self to vomit on the ground. There's no excuse for failed cinema
>>63606958
Is that mess your work?
I just remembered: after Age of Ultron I was absolutely furious at the post-credits scene being so uneventful, but I didn't have any snacks of my own, so I did a laps up and down a couple rows of seats dumping whatever anyone left behind and got out before the employees started coming in. I lucked out that people left behind a pretty decent haul, though. Regrettably, people in my area clean up after themselves rather than voting with their trash. If the people in your area leave a lot of stuff behind, it's a decent tactic if you're on a tight budget and don't want to hold in your bodily waste for a movie.
>not wanting to be an autistic, destructive asshole who causes public property damage/makes a mess in a theater that brings you entertainment makes you reddit
>implying that being a shitflinger who makes a public mess in a middleman business to feel good about himself isn't the most immature, reddit thing you can do
I've worked at a theater for two years, and the only people who have ever made a mess are bratty, booger-eating kids and niggers
But seeing as I'm on /tv/ it seems about right
>>63606950
It's not like anyone is forcing you at gunpoint to spend $15 on a fucking happy meal, you dumbass lardbucket.
Sneak some gummy penguins in like a real patrician
>>63607792
I like to get into the crowd and start shoving and slapping the things out of people's hands. Not only do you get a bigger mess because everyone is participating it also get ground into the floor and carpets. Plus with all the pushing and shoving its likely someone is going to slip on some ice and that can get even messier.
>>63607905
>I've worked at a theater for two years
>I've worked at a theater for two years
>I've worked at a theater
>for two years
can't make this shit up lads
>>63607905
If you don't cause damage to the cinema then they will think that it's okay to show shitty movies.
So if you think that a bad movie has a right to be screened with no repercussions then you are killing cinema, and you are literally and figuratively reddit.
>>63603760
How is it the theater's fault if the movie is bad?
>>63604001
pfahaha
>>63608007
The theatre chooses every movie it screens. If they disrespect me enough that they're willing to show shit movies, I'll respond in kind.
>>63608007
>author writes a shitty book
>shop reads it and decides it's worth selling
>i buy a copy and think it's shit
>need to punish someone for it
>dur i know i'll punish the shitty author instead of the shop that sold it me
Use your head anon, the author hasn't done anything wrong all he's done is lack talent in writing. It's the book shop that fucked me by selling it me
>>63608238
If a book is bad I usually shit between the pages and put it back on the shelf.
>>63608280
I like to colour in the holes in every letter with black pen so people struggle to read it
>this many unironic replies in an obvious bait thread
I think it might be time for, dare I say it, reddit to get >>>/out/.
>>63607936
I have too much social anxiety to slap the stuff right out of people's hands, but kudos to you if you're up to it. Bonus points if you do it to people who are on the way out when the credits start, there's a lot of untapped potential there because they're gone by the time the post-credit scene finishes and it's time to get to work.
>>63607792
>voting with your trash
Holy lel
>>63608343
I like to tear out the first page of every chapter, and glue the last few pages together to ruin the ending.
>>63607905
Dawg
I worked at a theatre too and I knew the responsibilities when I signed up.
Quit bitching you dumb redditor, a real man rises to the challenge and responsibility of his work. A beta pussy cries about his responsibilities. I bet you voted for Bernie Sanders too.
>>63608280
>>63608343
>>63608415
tbph i just rip out all the pages and replace them with really bad fanfiction of the book
>>63608406
Just pretend like you're having a seizure and bump and jostle people.
Scream out loud that someone pushed you and launch yourself into the biggest crowd of people on the way out then make sure to be a total spaz as people are helping you up.
Getting back in is JUST as important. Most theaters have doors exiting on both sides. When you make your way through one door, immediately book it IN to the other door. Pushing people aside and jostling them again. Scream about your cell phone or wallet being left behind. Fight through the crowd making sure to trip and stumble as you audibly try to hide your panic.
You've now given an plausible excuse to double down on making a mess as the credits roll, and also having an opportunity to run around the seats spilling shit and acting like an asshole.
>>63608473
>>63608415
>>63608343
>>63608280
>not carrying around a binder full of hard core gay pornography to glue to the pages
What a bunch of fags
>>63604357
someone is bleeding form their anus
I flip over my drink as quick as I can so a litre of coke spills all over the floor and their shoes when they pick it up.
>>63605666
Believe it or not I've seen people try to return sodas they opened and drank a sip from because they didn't like it
>>63603760
I know this is a bait topic, but I've been rused enough to reply either way.
I get back by pirating future sequels, or avoid a said company/studio's movies for a while altogether.
Leaving your mess for someone else to clean up is childish and rude. Really affirms how many underaged teens there are around here, I hate it when people litter and leave their messes for others to clean up.
I usually wait until the staff comes in before I spill my shit. I make sure I make eye contact, then I tip my popcorn tub over and then skip out of the theater.
>>63609959
What if they detain you? I tried that and got branded on my forehead so the cinema knows not to sell me any food unless I agree to being handcuffed to a security guard
>>63610047
I'm 6'3" 230 lbs 10% bf, as if a bunch of skinny teenage nerds are gonna do shit.
>>63610090
Oh. My cinema has these muscled security guards with executioner hoods on.
>>63610090
>10% bf
how can a boyfriend be 10% and why is it important?
>>63610121
Were they brought in to enforce the no singles policy?
>>63610141
My bf is 7.5" and 23 lbs. He's 10% of me and he could still probably kick the shit out of the lowlifes hired to clean my shit up.
>>63610047
>tfw got caught too many times trying to avoid No Singles with schemes (paying people to let me pretend to be part of their group, etc.)
>got my photo put on the Do Not Serve wall which is usually reserved for troublemakers who dirty up the theater
It's just not fair. I didn't even find out until I already paid for my ticket and bought snacks, at which point the ticket-taker got told over their walkie-talkie not to let me in. I should've known something was up when the ticket seller believed me when I said I just got there late and was with a group that was already inside. They were just stringing me alone to get my money before they kicked me out.
>>63610195
Singles are allowed in Britain as long as you buy a ticket for her majesty too. It's mostly a ceremonial thing in this day and age.
>>63603760
My brother pisses on the floor instead of going to the toilets, usually he sits in the baxk, middle to ensure a good flow down to the front, most people thinks someone spilled a drink, not quite.
Sometimes he brings a turd or two in a Ziploc bag, he occasionally adds one of our dogs craps, if it is a whopper, if we get there early he will move around, pretending to find a good spot, he drops a turs here and there, then on on the end of a middle row, someone always steps on that one as the normal folks file in, the during the previews you can see people sniffing around trying to find what the smell is, those are the turds under the seat.
One time Mr Hot Stuff, carrying a tray with drinks, dogs and nachos, stepped on and slipped sideways on a turd, the fucking food went everywhere, I was laughing so bad I thought I was having a stroke, he got so pissed off, still makes me cry laughing thinking about it.
Movies with my brother, nothing better.
>>63605636
shrimps arent fishes
>>63603858
had a mild chuckle
have a (You) senpai
I bring my own messy food and "accidentally" spill it over the seat next to me.
Sometimes I can't be arsed to get up and go for a wazz so I bring an Oasis bottle with me, piss in the bottle and empty it on the floor.
>>63605859
For some reason this made med LOL
>>63605277
This post contains a logical fallacy...
It's simple really. Just urinate into the cup holder (has to be one of those ones without holes). Next person comes along, plunges their fat cola cup into the holder and hey presto, everyone is soaked in peepee.
>>63604122
Look at this salty as fuck theater slave. I'm going to throw my god damn soda and popcorn on the floor, you fucking down syndrome ingrate. Clean my shit up!
