>tfw when you die you have to rewatch your life as a movie
>watching myself masturbate
>>63480811
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale
Explosions amid an unnecessarily large cloud of exposition
>>63480811
>his life isnt cînémà
>>63480811
>long drawn out scenes of pointless dialog
directed by Quentin Tarentino
>>63481618
uno farto
>>63480829
please no
>his life will be literally reddit the movie
>Camera carefully and slowly slides through a forest for ten minutes, to reveal a young man with his trousers down, masturbating and whispering pointless existential questions
Tarkovsky's magnum opus
>>63480811
Dumb frogposter
>>63481618
topkeke
>>63480811
I'd feel the urge to kill myselfhuehuehue
>>63480811
Director's cut or Final cut?
Because one of them will be unbelievably boring.
>>63480811
>Your thoughts will be the audio.
>years of just reading /tv/
just fuck my shit up already
>Your friends and family are there watching it with you
>>63480811
>its a scene where the main character self harms
>its an episode where the main character fucks a hooker
>>63480811
>directed by Kevin Smith
fuck.
>It's a "crying alone in my car eating wendy's" episode
I'd kill myself desu.
>songs you listened to will be the OST
Well it could be worse
jokes on you, I'll never die
>It's a "Anon accidentally pisses his pants during nap time at preschool" episode.
>tfw the audience is everybody in your family and everyone you were ever acquainted or friends with
![Angry+feels+some+speeding+asshole+ran+over+my+cat+today_58163f_5507890[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ngZlHqd.jpg "Angry+feels+some+speeding+asshole+ran+over+my+cat+today_58163f_5507890[1].jpg")
>life flashes before my eyes
>it's a flick
>It's a "Anon can't get it up" episode
>>63482072
seems like you already did that to yourself a long time ago
>>63480811
Yep, sounds like my hell.
>its a flick
>its a coming out as a anal vore fanatic with related pictures and activities takes a bad turn episode
>>63480846
>Sperm approaches egg
>Dr Pavel I'm CIA
I'd get bored 20 minutes in, leave the theater, and ask for my money back
>someone elses life is playing
>IT AINT ME STARTS PLAYING
>>63482830
ayyy
>>63482830
Hahah
>Hey anon why are there no sex scenes in this movie
You're actually watching it right now
at the year you died people watch virtual reality movies
>>63482901
>o-oh t-this is the censored version
>>63480811
Dumb frogposter.
>>63482796
>Tony Soprano looks with disappointment at his son laughing at his computer screen: The Flick
Directed by David Lynch, starring Brendan Fraser.
>its an anon drinks and plays league till he falls asleep episode
>>63482830
kek
>>63482743
>there are many of them
>>63480811
>it's a dodging the draft season
>it's an anon loses all his friends episode
>it's an anon spends the summer in a dark room masturbating and shitposting on /tv/ episode
>>63482830
>your oneitis's life is playing
>Co-starring Avon, Tyrone, Lamar, Jamal, Kendrick, Wayne, Dre, Jayden, Chad...
>>63482113
Everyone who's ever lived and will ever live is there watching it with you in a giant auditorium
>>63483235
>I-I'm just drunk
>>63482796
That is gold. Assuming it is to highlight that coming out as gay is exactly the same thing, As being gay simply means you have a fetish for dicks in your ass.
>>63482796
and I thought I was weird by playing games all day
> it's an anon turns fifteen and becomes an alcoholic episode
> it's an anon turns eighteen and gets drunk every single day of his life episode
> it's an anon is currently 23 and getting drunk right now episode
>I'm literally above everyone else
>6'2black
>People hate him because of that
>He has literally a god like life
Anyone with me
>>63482796
>I don't think my grandparents like anal vore
>should I try to do the party again
gets me everytime
>>63484999
You should get help
>>63484275
Its not really the same, since if you're gay your family and friends will eventually see you with your boyfriend. Better analogy is coming out and telling your family if you're a top or bottom
>>63480811
That movie is called "Defending your Life"
>its an anon spends the entire day doing trivial shit on the computer episode
>it's the 3 year period in high school where that one kinda qt girl liked you but you were too interested in other things instead of girls and getting laid to even notice & connect the dots and thus missed your only chance at not being a virgin episode
after editing it would no longer be feature length
>it's an anon is doing really well in life and ruins everything with one stupid decision
>this happens multiple times
>>63484999
would watchand relate
>>63482516
>anon is 12 years old
>soundtrack is entirely linkin park
>30 minutes of the movie is the main character lying on a bed complaining about nerve pain
Jesus no wonder this place is shit
You're all depressed fuck ups
>>63484999
Man, can't wait for next season. Producers have anounced that anon will get liver cirrhosis and liver cancer.
>>63485386
I did when I was sixteen but it was because I was caught snorting adderall on the bus.I've also been in the hospital five times for alcohol poisoning. Heroin okay but I try not to do much. I really like to just drink and smoke pot. Got an interview on Friday though so that's good I guess
>menu
>making of
Just wanna know who my father is fàm.
I'd walk out.
Fucking pleb shit, midway through the main character just starts spouting memes.
>>63482139
>it's an episode where the main character fucks a hookerand can't get it up
>>63485990
>9 hours of George Lucas fucking up eveything. Mrs. Anon included.
>>63486142
that's in the next episode of my life for sure
Alright cvcks, what song wil play over the end credits of your life?
I'm going with this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl92wiSMHXk
wow that fucking romantic subplot went nowhere
>>63486449
>tfw no romantic subplots
Bump I like this thread
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5wOHIi7xCU
>>63480811
>watching yourself watching a movie
>you keep looking away and not pay attention
>>63480811
mfw i always had this same idea, or you get to choose an event in the past to spectate
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_Sz_STo4-s
>video of a guy from a middle-eastern country looking comfy in a seat despite his head being completely exploded and missing.avi
>tfw when you have to watch it with your dead relatives and friends.
>movie is filled with a plot that has no coherent direction
>all supporting characters are unlikeable cunts
>bunch of timeskips with no character development
>Rated PG-13 for crude humor and partial nudity
>>63486437
https://youtu.be/X3jgmySKsNg
>>63480811
>1-18 cringe
>everything after that is mind numbingly boring
>>63480811
>go to heaven
>they play my film
>it's in 4:3 ratio
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcseamG7ReY
>>63481618
Who WOULD you have as the actors/directors/etc?
>there's a scene where I'm spazzing out alone in my room from one of my manic episodes
Rarest
>>63482830
>>63480811
Can I see the computer monitor?
im actually kind of scared that if i become a success it'll end up being an abrams/lindelof production where the themes and narrative get underplayed in favor of unnecessarily applied effects and hack storytelling
and ill never be good enough to make up the difference, it'll almost certainly end up being a 4/10 movie
>it's an anon comes home from school and cries alone in his room episode
>>63482735
10/10
>>63487527
>>63487733
Imagine if you got to direct it and cut to parts that are actually good, show your story, prove shit that people didn't believe, choose the music for each scene, etc.At least then people would, for once, understand me and not think of me as a fucking dumbass.
>watch movie of life
>opening credits roll
>"starring list of relevant people
>"guest starring: anon"
> barely make it in as an extra
You know this to be true. You're not even there. This isn't your story. .. isn't it..
>>63485605
drugs? alcohol?
>>63488360
Fucking re-runs
>its a anon faps 5 times in one day episode
>>63488633
are you me?
also
>it's an anon steals another pair of panties episode
>it's an anon does something questionable with an animal episode
pls no
>>63485973
Good luck anon
>It's a my girlfriend sits on my lap and I somehow avoid getting a boner episode
To this day I have no clue how I managed to stay soft. Must've had the willpower of a god.
>>63480811
what rating would it get? mine would be illegal with the beastiality parts
>it's a two-parter where anon makes plans for a fun party or event in the first episode
>then decides not to bother going and jerks off for the duration of the second episode
>freeze frame
>you're probably wondering how I got here
REEEEEEEEE, I already know!
>>63488734
>It's a my girlfriend sits on my lap and I somehow avoid getting a boner episode
must have nutted just before and forgotten about it
>it's a montage of sex scenes from the main character's time in college
>>63481741
Why are you masturbating in the forest?
>>63488900
>the main character wakes up in his room bathed in sweat
>mom comes in and tells him to get ready for school
>>63480811
>tfw you die and they give you a list of all the people who would have had sex with you if you had made a move
>>63488715
Definitely not you m8
>>63489050
>it's a rejection episode
>>63488900
>all the women are solid 7s
>>63488900
>it lasts 5 seconds
>it's just him fucking a sock
>>63489115
>All the women are solid 7s when they step on the scale
fixed that for you.
>>63480829
>it's ananalmasturbation scene
>it's a having fun on beach as a carefree naked kid episode
>it's that episode 20 seasons later where anon has a flashback and remembers the man taking pictures of him on the beach and this time everything is black and white and the music is sinister
>it's a Oneitis wants to "spend some time together" but brings her husband episode
>it's an anon drinks a bottle of wine, fucks his gf and then shitposts about it online to piss spergs off episode
>it's an anon almost dies from auto erotic asphyxiation episode
>for the third time
>>63489369
And this gives you... power over me?
>>63489369
>it's an anon lies on the internet episode
>>63485973
Good luck.
I hope you can drink in safe moderation some day, anon.
>It's an anon's girlfriend of 3 years breaks up with him out of the blue on the drive home episode
>>63489432
different anon here, i may be single now but rest assured for much of the last two years I was regularly getting drunk and railing the piss out of a lady on a regular basis
turns out I'm a piece of shit and everyone hates me but I did at least get my dick wet before this became public knowledge
>>63486115
Were they dank?
WERE. THEY. DANK?
>its a embarrasing yourself infront of qt 3.14 episode
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJkoBNOPvjU
>it's the season where anon spent several months experimenting with cum volume increasing supplements while doing nofap and ended up filling 3/5ths of a yogurt cup
>It's an anon wastes his teenage years browsing 4chan
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOLFf2dMkKE
>it's a berenstAin bears episode
>>63489616
>it's an anon experiments with his mew scat fetish episode
I feel like everybody has had this thought independently. Wonder why that is.
>>63489674
Reddit detected
>Its an anon sucking d for money episode again.
>>63489697
because it's terrifying
>when you die you get to relive your life with all the knowledge you have retained
>you can prevent every stupid decision and mistake you ever made
>>63489432
No lie friend the best part isIt's in Japanesetfw qt 3.14 jp gf
>It's a anons girlfriends leaves him completely out of the blue and without any explanation episode
>it's a anon drowns in selfdoubt, discovers 4chan and becomes a shut-in episode
>it's a anons oneitis crushes what little is left of his soul episode
>it's a anon is little more than a ghost of his former self episode
ah yes, that'll one hell of a watch
>>63489737
or boring
>>63480811
thats whats happening right now, did you think you were acttually living this life?? LOL
>>63489768
which is why it is so terrifying
>>63489741
your life is in japanese? i don't understand this riddle
>>63489741
serious question, how do you deal with her screaming like a banshee when you fuck her? wouldn't you prefer the good old moaning?
I'd really would miss the moaning, it's an important part of getting me in the mood
>>63489738
>if you change anything it could change the course of your life forever
>if you want to make things right with the love of your life you have to relive every excruciatingly awkward or painful moment up until that point to guarantee you meet her under the same conditions
>it's an anon masturbates to furry porn episode
>>63486437
Bad moon rising
What if I already died and my whole life has just been me watching my life movie?
>>63489819
I live in nipland
>>63489917
I think it's kind of hot. She doesn't really scream too bad unless I thrust all the way in. She does scream "Ikuuuu~" like in JAVs though.
>>63489983
it was marty though
>>63488577
Fuck
>>63481641
In this post: Memes that never took off.
>get recast as a black girl because the show is considered to be too full of cis white males by social media
>>63483562
>all those deafening laughs and 'eeww'
>all the greatest people that ever lived bored to death and talking to each other
>all the grills will never talk to you
I just hope the next after me is an Indian or something, they will forget about me when the scene comes of him defecating on the street and cleaning his butt with his left hand.
>it's an anon gets a cucumber stuck in his asshole and has to have his dad drive him to the hospital episode.
>>63486437
>it aint me
>>63490184
Is there anyone here who would actually be proud of their life if they got to watch it all over again?
>no
>>63489484
>>63488731
Well thanks guys I guess. I live with a bunch enablers but I can't blame them. I'm sure the interview will be fun though even though I'll have the dts
>it's a the cashier knows you're going to drink that alone episode
>>63490568
I wear my god complex proudly.
My life would be fucking brilliant to watch again.
There's a bunch of detestable shit in there and way too many idiotic mistakes, but I'd still lap up every fucking second I spend watching myself.
>>63490896
check yourself before you shrek yourself kid
>It's an anon browses a thread talking about how he will watch his life as a movie after he dies episode
>>63483562
I wouldn't mind, everyone has some fucked up shit they'd like to keep secret. I personally think I'm in the top percentile of genuinely good people in the world.
>oh boy here come the 5 years of sitting in front of the computer typing and occasionally laughing seasons
>>63490830
>walk into shop
>take to alcohol
>go to the til
>(hehe, he's back, aw, i hope he's drinking with somebody, but he does it so much, i doubt he is.)
>hey what's up
>what's up
>that'll be blah blah
>thanks, cya!
>see ya
i wish i could collect my alcohol anonymously.
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrmBnN7aQ9s
these are gonna be some long credits
>>63491625
Fuck.
>watching all those times you awkwardly flirted in bed with your oneitis
>all those times you slept in the same bed but did nothing
>listening to her bring up all those guys shes had sex with and you staring at your feet pretending that it doesnt bother you
>it's an anon eats dirt on the playground and screams bloody murder in the school bathroom as he shits black ichor
This isn't even the most embarassin thing I've ever done
>you're on the phone to your ex
>she's with her new bf
>'so are you having sex' you say
>yes i'm having sex with him
>oh, ok, well, stay safe baby.
>yeah, i will...i'm gonna go now, ok?
>yeah, ok
>are you sure it's fine?
>it's fine.
>okay, i'll speak to you sometime
didn't speak another time.
>IT'S ONE OF THEM EPISODES
>have to watch my sister molest me when I was little
>my parents would have to see it too
kek
>>63490830
>>63491625
Oh fuck you guys so much.
The Retsupurae sections would be too deep.
>Theatre watches Anon watching Retsupurae Watch another guy play video games.
>its an anon settles for less episode
>It's an anon sucks his own dick at 14 episode
>>63492708
>it's an anon settles for less and has kids with her too, drinking alone in his study every night with a cunt wife in the next room episode
>>63491868
Holy fuck how pathetic were/are you?
>asking if she's getting fucked
>"b-be safe"
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oQBp2lcErM
>>63491887
Story time? I haven't fapped yet today
>>63486437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvrzqcfv9mY
I once molded a lot of blue tack into the shape of a dildo, i the attatched it to a fan, after that i proceded to lube and insert the blue tac dildo into my anus and turned on the fan, it fell out of my anus and some shit fell out and literally hit the fan, i spent about and hour cleaning, if there was such a thing as hell it would be the definition of everyone i know watching my life with me
>it's a "anon loses his job for showing up drunk to work" episode
>mfw there are 3 episodes of this
/sp/ faggot posting cancer
literally
>it's a "anon pretends to be a girl online and dirty talks with random men" episode
>It's an anon is incapable of orgasming during sex with his girlfriend due to a large, curved penis, but she's always satisfied episode.
I guess this is what it's like for a woman the majority of the time
>>63487441
> tfw you didn't get to experience lost as it was going on
> tfw you didn't get to browse /tv/ during those days
we have to go back...
>>63485973
You need to kill yourself before you get others killed.
>you have to watch it with the best potential version of yourself that could have existed and he gives commentary on where you went wrong every time
>>63485973
Just kill yourself and make it easy on the world, Vince
>it's an "anon sucks his dogs dick when he was 12" episode
pls no
there's a japanese movie called 'after life' where after people die they have to pick a moment of their life to recreate and feel like they're in it forever, then they die for good. it's a good movie.
>>63493812
>Why_Live.jpg
>>63480811
>tfw you've already died and you're currently watching your life
>watch the film of your life
>realize how stupid all your problems are
>this entire thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAmko4fvkC0
>it's an anon tries to kiss the girl he's loved for a year but she moves away and his best friend dies that same night plot
even I thought the writing was unrealistic
>>63494794
>You have lost count of how many times you have watched it that you've now lost it and believe you're actually living it
>>63494848
They're stupid, but that doesn't prevent them from being real and immediate in the present.
>>63490568
parts of it. not a lot, but there have been times.
>>63486437
im wondering whos going to be the keygrip in my life movie
>>63494981
>tfw Nietzsche was right
>>63495141
How does that relate to Nietzsche?
![The_Final_Cut_movie[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/me67Ltw.jpg "The_Final_Cut_movie[1].jpg")
hey there just being one of the best Robin Williams serious roles and a very underrated science fiction film.
>>63495182
Eternal recurrence
"Fellow man! Your whole life, like a sandglass, will always be reversed and will ever run out again, - a long minute of time will elapse until all those conditions out of which you were evolved return in the wheel of the cosmic process. And then you will find every pain and every pleasure, every friend and every enemy, every hope and every error, every blade of grass and every ray of sunshine once more, and the whole fabric of things which make up your life. This ring in which you are but a grain will glitter afresh forever. And in every one of these cycles of human life there will be one hour where, for the first time one man, and then many, will perceive the mighty thought of the eternal recurrence of all things"
>>63495182
Time is a flat circle, you live your life forever and ever
>>63495248
Which book is that from?
>>63480811
>its a picking your nose scene and suddenly realize that your window is wide open so you look slowly to see if anyone is outside while yelling "NO ONE BETTER HAVE SAW THAT. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE" but there's no one actually out there
>>63495340
Do you even Nietzsche, bro?
>>63495423
>its a "quirky" anon movie
>>63482516
>browsing /tv/ period of the film
>it aint me starts playing
It's a doing normal people shit and... There it is finger in nose finger in mouth episode.
>>63495445
He wrote books. Like the gay science
>>63480811
>>63480829
Hope it's an over the shoulder shot so I can see the porn again.
>>63490896
I can feel your self-loathing tendencies through the screen.
>>63494981
Anon stop you're going too deep
>mfw reliving based childhood as rich kid in the suburbs
take me back already
>it's a main character's only online friend kills herself and never goes online again and he spends the next 3 months crying about it and now is a bitter emotional wreak 4 years later episode
>it's an anon dyes his hair blonde and acts like a total dudebro to be cool but he loses his best friend and the love of his life forever in the process season
Can I ask god to skip season 15? Once was enough.
>>63486437
I like your choice
>>63480811
>tfw you have to watch a movie of your life starring Benedict Cumberbatch
>tfw going through my 9th birthday party on 9/11 again
Anyone else know this feel?
>>63498096
No but he'll give you the option to mute it.
>it's an "Anon ruins all his teenage years because of one dumb mistake in 9th grade" episode
>>63486437
https://youtu.be/wz7YiQdNmZ8
>>63498227
I forgot what happens in that episode... can you remind me?
>>63498227
>It's an anon never asks another girl out because he embarrassed himself asking out a girl back in 8th grade even though he's 23 now
>>63486437
https://youtu.be/VKDCxZhcx-c
It'll end on a melancholy note.
>>63498405
Stop copying the plots of my episodes;_;
>>63498227
I'm >>63498096
I know this feel all too well
>you also have to watch the lives of the people that died at the exact same time as you across the world
>You realize how trivial everyones problems are and that we all go though shit
>>63482735
top kek
>>63498357
In 9th grade I made fun of some kid that drowned with some other "friends" and they told kids in school about it and spreaded rumors while they were in on it.
I got in a lot of trouble with people in 11th grade because of and I got so immensively disliked at school I quit and stayed home, becoming sheltered, got social anxiety and depressed.
That's how I missed all my teenage years, and even after 6 years things have barely improved.
>it's an anon has to ride horsey on the old man neighbor's lap because parents are too busy too take proper care of their 8 year old daughter who thinks sucking cock is just a game now and tries to do on her father and gets beaten with a belt buckle episode
>>63498641
Do you still live in the same place you grew up in?
If so, you should think about moving. It would help.
>>63498664
>its an anon pretends to be a girl on an anonymous scrimshaw enthusiasts forum episode
>it's an "Anon masturbates to bestiality" episode
>>63480829
>Directed by Harmony Korine
>>63481731
>like literally every /tv/ user
>btw hello fellow redditor
>>63498641
Shit dude. I know that feel.
freshman year of high school, this fucking 8.9/10 grill has a crush on me. I ask her out and she says yes. All is well.
Then my friend Gabe hacks my Facebook account and sends all the girls in my grade weird fucking shit like gay porn and BBC. So naturally I become social outcast. No friends, no one to talk too at lunch you know the usual.
Girl doesn't show up to the date and blocks my number and I got called up to the disciplinary office and was told to leave her alone.
I have a lot of self worth issues that won't go away now.
I also moved like 3 times as a kid so I'm scared of making friends. Anytime people are nice to me (now that I'm in college and no ones knows me) I push them away. Now I'm alone.
>>63498854
Are you still in college? You're young and can change the path of your life. What kind of hobbies do you have?
>>63498904
I just come home and watch movies and play vidya alone in my room everyday.
People make me really nervous because I always think they're judging me. I'm worried about the shape that my face makes when talking or how I pronounce "hi" to a stranger that walks by me. You know stupid shit like that.
>It's an anon looks deep inside of himself and musters up the strength to be a better person episode
feels fucking good man
>>63498741
>its an anon who actually is a girl and tries to get attention on an anonymous Chinese crocheting board because she needs the pity from anonymous strangers to feel the love she missed from her distant alcoholic father and crazy schizophrenic mother
>>63480811
>It's an anon sits in his room telling himself he'll be productive in a minute but a minute turns into 6 hours episode
>>63499188
kek that's me too
>its an anon stays friends with depressed woman because it makes his depression not feel so bad in comparison
>>63480811
So hell?
>>63499301
your an awful human being
>>63480811
>it's an anon posts the green frog pictures episode
>>63499039
There is a wall around you. You have built it and you bump into it every day of your life. You are completely contained by it. Every experience you will ever have will be within this wall and you will miss out on everything on the other side. You can break out of it, but only if you're willing to endure temporary pain and humiliation. Forget about the people around you, as you will never see them or talk to them again after college is over unless you want to. Sign up for clubs. Go up to people and chat them up. You'd be amazed at how many people are looking for contact like you are but you have to make the painful and sometimes embarrassing decision to reach out to others. What do you REALLY have to lose? Your time is running out.
>>63499158
Wanna meet up to spoon with? I have a chastity belt on so I can't possibly rape u. Do you perhaps live in L O N D O N ?
L O N D O N ?
>>63499371
She's a 30 divorcee who never did anything but be a wife and play games, she tweets basically everything and everytime she gets dumped she repeat a cycle of feeling bad, then goes to feeling he isn't good enough for her, then wanting him back, also she's trying to be youtube famous. It's like staring a train wreck, can't stop watching
>>63494444
At least you got quads.
