>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that while your father was training on Coruscant, C-3PO served your family (Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Grandma Shmi, Grandpa Cliegg) for nearly 10 years? Somehow, your uncle didn't recognize Threepio when he returned to family's service.
>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you that all Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers the same as I do, despite that still dressing like a Jedi is no good way to hide from Empire? It was a good robe though.
>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
>You must go to Dagobah, Luke, and seek out Yoda, the Jedi Master who trained me — well, actually, he's A Jedi Master who trained me. Before I moved up to Liam Neeson's service, I was one of the 20 younglings who went to Yoda's class every tuesday and thursday back in youngling school inbetween Jedi chemistry class and lunchtime. Nothing remarkable or mystic to our relationship at all. He was just my teacher who handed out droids and youngling-sized helmets to the class. Also, all his deep seemingly spur of the moment lessons and teachings from a true master are all fairly common Jedi sayings that he just butchers with his ghetto way of talking. A good friend, he was.
I love this place
>We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore
mfw when I actually hadn't stopped to realize this
>>63432740
>>I somehow don't recognize them anymore.
dude was probably lying, I bet
Was there anything that Obi Wan said that was true?
>>63432740
>>Luke, did I ever tell you that while your father was training on Coruscant, C-3PO served your family (Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Grandma Shmi, Grandpa Cliegg) for nearly 10 years? Somehow, your uncle didn't recognize Threepio when he returned to family's service.
uh, but he did. that's why he tells luke to erase their memory.
>>63432740
>>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you that all Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers the same as I do, despite that still dressing like a Jedi is no good way to hide from Empire? It was a good robe though.
This can be explained though. If you're trying to hide from the Empire, hide in a place where everyone looks like you
>A male Aleena lived on the planet of Aleen during the events of the Clone Wars around 21 BBY.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Unidentified_Aleena_3
Who will play him in the inevitable reboot?
>>63432740
>Luke, did I ever tell you how fucking sick of these threads I am?
>It was never a good meme.
>>63433867
for you
>>63433751
It's probably the most easily explained away of all of OP's plotholes. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to tip Luke off about the truth, or let him know too much about the past. You can even rationalize that R2 (who didn't have his mind wiped) DID Obi-wan Kenobi, and that's why he was so hell bent on seeking him out.
Owen not recognizing 3PO is another story, though. I'm stumped.
WE ARE IN A MEME NEBULA
NEW MEMES ARE BEING BORN
R2 claims Obi-wan owned him. Obi-wan denies it in a very smarmy, knowing manner. This isn't even the revisionist bullshit Lucas is known for, it's pretty cut and dry in a New Hope that Obi-wan and R2 once worked together.
>>63433952
>R2 DID Obi-wan Kenobi
Shit, put in a recognize* in there. That really changed the meaning of what I meant.
KILLING YOUNGLINGS
>>63432740
>Luke did I ever tell you that your father hated sand, that's why we hid you on a sand planet
>>63434043
You're a genius
>>63433952
>Owen not recognizing 3PO is another story, though. I'm stumped.
holy fuck, I could have done without realizing this.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that you should be cautious when engaging in battle with tusken raiders?
>your grandmother was brutally raped to death by a settlement of sand people, who I can only assume constantly impregnated her
>she must have had lots of children Luke.
>so remember Luke, whenever you are fighting sand people, don't forgot the very, very high possibility that you are murdering your brothers and uncles
>in fact I'd say theres a good chance that you've been killing your family members by the dozens
>nearly positive in fact
>your father was a good friend
Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuke Skywalker? He was a genetic clone of you that was grown from cells extracted from the hand you lost during your duel with the Dark Lord Darth Vader on Cloud City. Your hand and lightsaber were recovered by Vader and taken to Emperor Sheev's Mount Tantiss storehouse on the planet Wayland. In 9 ABY, the insane clone Jedi Master Joruus C'baoth performed a mind trick on Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn's subordinate, Captain Gilad Pellaeon, ordering him to make a special clone for him. The clone that later became Luuke Skywalker was grown in secret from sample B-2332-54, the sorting code assigned to your hand. The clone was grown in a Spaarti cloning cylinder over the period of less than a month. When he was ready, the clone was given Jedi training by C'baoth and over time became Luuke Skywalker.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuke_Skywalker
Also Luke, did I ever tell you about your other clone, Luuuke Skywalker? He was a clone of you created by Grand Admiral Thrawn to serve as his agent in the galactic community, which the Admiral controlled secretly using a legion of clones to replace prominent people. After warding off the Lost Tribe of Sith, Luuke Skywalker, retired after serving Thrawn. Luuke was replaced summarily with Luuuke, who inherited duties as the Grand Master of the New Jedi Order and a significant political persona. Luuuke would go on to assemble a Clone Army comprised of the copies whom Thrawn had made over the decades. Working with another clone, Streeen, Luuuke devised a time machine that he used to attack the galaxy during the Clone Wars.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuuke_Skywalker
They were both good friends.
>>63434043
>>63434182
UUU
>>63434182
Jesus christ
>>63432740
My life is a failure and I am objectively a loser, but at least I can read these shitposts and smile. Thanks op.
>>63432740
Your father was one of the greatest pilots in the Republic, he spun, that was a good trick.
Is Grandma Shmi related to CIA's Smee?
>>63433751
Lucas originally intended for C3PO and R2D2 to only appear in Episode 3...but then merchandising and toy profits influenced him...
>>63434182
I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank god for Disney, the EU had to die
>>63434735
No, but the guy who asks if 'we have started the fire' is related to 'storm's coming ani' old woman.
>>63434182
I like to imagine Disney read Wookiepedia and afterward decided to wipe the EU.
>>63434182
Guess I know what to name my kids.
>Mark
>Maark
>Maaark
They will all come to me when I get angry. Thanks, EU.
>>63434182
My sides are orbiting Bespin.
>>63432740
This is the only tv meme i have ever liked. Keep it up old ben kenobifag
>>63434975
Wipe them out. All of them.
>>63434997
So did Sheev clone himself?
Sheeev
Sheeeev
Sheeeeeev
Sheeeeeeeev
>>63434043
>it all make sense now
>>63435092
Maybe you already know this and you're just memeing for fun, but on the off-chance that you aren't, this actually did happen
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Palpatine
>Throughout the rest of the Galactic Civil War, the remnants of the Empire experienced a sharp decline while the Alliance reformed itself into the New Republic. However, Palpatine did not stay dead, and eventually used a rare and ancient Force technique to transfer his spirit into one of many clone bodies stored on the Deep Core world of Byss.
>>63434558
>>63434862
>>63434975
>>63435004
you do realize that the story he is referring to was from a short story written as an April Fools joke? right?
>>63435092
They can use the Dewey Decimal System and it still won't be as retarded as this. What were they thinking?
>>63435289
Stop letting facts get in the way of Disney dick riding
>>63434182
Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuuuke Skywalker? He was a pretty big guy for me and for you. He also wore a mask and crashed starships with no survivors.
He didn't get to bring friends.
>>63434182
>http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuuke_Skywalker
This one was an April Fools joke apparently but I kekd at the whole underrated post, anon
>From what I told you was true. From a certain point of view
>from my point of view the Jedi are evil
>only a sith speaks in absolutes
>an absolute
fucking obiwan is a hypocrite and the Jedi were truly evil. Anakin was right to slaughter the younglings.
Sheev did nothing wrong
>>63435896
Also
Forest moon of Ensor. It's so fucking big why isn't it a planet
>>63435896
>Sheev did nothing wrong
>>>/hm/
>>63432740
Luke, did I ever tell you about Anakin Skywalker? Imagine being me in the Jedi Temple and having to be all like "damn, Anakin, you fuckin' edgy, all brooding with your angry eyes and horrific androgynous monster hair. I would totally have train you, both as your master and your friend." when all I really want to do is train a different youngling in the practice chamber. Like seriously imagine having to be me and not only sit in my Council chair while Anakin flaunts his disgusting pride in front of me, the favorable opinions of the other masters barely concealing his childish incompetence and hatred of sand, and just sit there, meeting after meeting, hour after hour, while he perfected that glare. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone in the council chamber tells him he's THE CHOSEN ONE and DAMN, ANAKIN ACTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his smug fucking gundark face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been training nothing but a healthy set of Padawans and Knights and later murdered younglings for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies on Stewjon. You've never even seen anything this fucking cringey before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his boyish face as he tries to frown angrily at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to sit there and revel in his "destined (for that is what his calls himself)" purpose, the purpose he worked so hard for by winning podraces in the previous years. And then Master Yoda calls for another meeting, and you know you could kill every single person in the chamber before the Council could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because I'm fucking Obi-Wan. I'm not going to lose my future Tatooine retirement over this. Just bear it. Hide my face and bear it. He was a good friend
>Luke, did I ever tell you that there are tons of tiny bugs inside everyone's blood that let you manipulate a gigantic energy field? You can even get women pregnant just by using your mind and create force abominations, actually your dad was one of them so technically you aren't even human. Your dad was a great friend, if only he hadn't slaughtered countless innocent lives.
>>63433867
Will somebody get this traitor outta here?
>>63436008
Just when I thought both of these memes were dead, new life has been breathed into them
>>63434182
Luke
Luuke
Luuuke
Luuuuke
L4uKe.
L-for you-ke
For you
Bravo Pottery
>>63436008
>>63434693
kek
>>63434043
>for years this was the actual canonical explanation why Vader never found Luke, he hated Tatooine and never wanted to go back there
>in new canon Vader goes to Tatooine all the time to sort out business with the Hutts personally and goes and kills sand people for fun because he still hates them
>somehow he never realized his son or Obi-Wan were still alive
>>63436207
Disney really fucked that one up. "I hate sand" may have been retarded, but Vader's hatred of his home / past was a perfectly reasonable explanation for him never finding his son.
>>63436008
wut
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time your grandmother was raped to death by sand people? She was a good lay
>>63436207
>there are imperial spies in mos eisley
>hutts have eyes and years everywhere
>they don't know shit about a "ben kenobi" that apparently everyone knows about that lives nearby
>kenobi also being the name of a major general in the clone wars
>who also dresses the same way that ben kenobi does
>oh and another hero of the clone wars is a skywalker, well guess what a skywalker lives nearby too
>this is somehow a secret even though luke travels with his friends to settlements often and so on
>oh and the same imperial spies and probe robots can pinpoint a rebel base on a secluded ice planet
>>63436356
It's a fucking science fantasy you sperg-ape, grow up
>>63436008
Lel
>>63435937
Because it's orbiting a planet, that's what a moon does.
>>63435284
A Byss world, eh...?
Classic EU
>>63433952
C3PO has exactly the same look than almost any protocol droid in the galaxy. I am not sure if his name or serial number is unique.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that your father and I were good friends?
>I did my best to give him a hand, to help him get a leg up on the competition on Mustafar the lava planet, but he was left simmering in rage for reason I can't quite explain right now, my boy.
>But in due time you'll see that he lived and breathed for combat, he was like a machine, only more familiar than you realize...
>>63434558
Calm down, you fucking cunt fag. it was an April Fool's Joke.
>>63436561
It was a good friend.
>Luke did I ever tell you about the High Ground? It was a way of fighting that never loses. I mastered the High Ground so I could never lose. Your father tried to beat the High Ground but I chopped his legs and arm off and left him for dead. And he was a good friend.
>>63433824
That's because he knows they're stolen goods.
>>63435990
I'm trying to come up with a joke but my mind is just too blown.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Order 66, which would be better known as the Great Jedi Purge if not for Palpatine spinning the whole thing as a conspiracy to take down the former Republic?
>Well we got some good cookies out of it, let me tell you. They're best when they're right out of a hot stove, much like your father was.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Order_66_Cookie
>In fact you could ask my good friend TK-555, an Imperial stormtrooper, about them. Did I ever tell you about him? He personally counted every cookie so that each packet had exactly 66 cookies in each. That's dedication.
>I even have his bobblehead. Remind me to ask that smuggler friend of ours if I could put it on the dash sometime.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/TK-555
>And don't get me started, but I think our good smuggler friend actually prefers Wookiee-cookiees, or as they are better known on Kashyyyk, Wookiee-ookiees. Remind me to tell you about all that later, would you?
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wookiee-ookiee
>>63434182
Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuuuke Skywalker? That clone was a big guy
>>63437212
Wow, really? What the fuck
>>63437212
>Mallatobuck
You've gotta be fucking kidding me. There's a character practically called mulatto buck?
>>63435284
>we named our planet Byss like the abyss
>psssh...nothin personnel...kid
>>63434182
Laugh all you want, but sadly Thrawn Trilogy featuring the Luuke was the only good thing that ever came out of EU.
>>63434628
Hey man, you're awesome. The only reason your life is shit is cause you think it is. Seriously. I went from shitlife to good life... basically stopped smoking pot, started doing lots of yoga, and stopped feeling bad for myself. No joke, pretty much that easy. Get busy living, it's easy.
>>63436356
Yeah, the whole Tatooine thing was dumb right from the first movie. It doesn't matter because it's a silly space adventure, but a lot of fans seriously overlook the nonsensical bits of the originals when bashing the prequels.
>>63438631
problem is the prequel's *made* some things in the OT look like nonsense
>>63436046
>You can even get women pregnant just by using your mind and create force abominations, actually your dad was one of them so technically you aren't even human.
Jesus, it's a rabbit hole, the more you look the more you realize how weird the prequels made everything.
>>63434043
>Anakin lived on a desert planet in slavery and squalor
>once he left he probably never wanted to see sand again
>tells padme he hates sand in the next movie, and who wouldn't with his childhood home
>obi wan hides luke in the one place Vader would never want to go again
It's so dense, every single frame has so many things going on
>>63438727
until New EU under disney where Vader goes back there all the time to routinely murder sand people to appease his murder boner
>>63436008
holy fucking shit
>>63433795
>Was there anything that Obi Wan said that was true?
From a certain point of view.
I love StarWarsposting. Its so incomprehensible for normies that I have never met it outside 4chan. Even Baneposting has spread but Sheev is ours.
>>63432740
>>63439065
I don't understand why Obi Wan thought the high ground was such a tactical advantage. He killed General Grievance when that guy had the high ground.
>>63439113
The image addresses this
He is a high ground expert
>>63436008
Literally every fucking time
>>63439061
>Even Baneposting has spread
Name literally one normie medium that has been open to baneposting
>>63432740
>It was a good robe though.
>>63436549
Doesn't he have silver leg tho
>>63436008
>that "he was a good friend" at the end
Perfect.
>>63439113
>when that guy had the high ground
From a certain point of view.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Stormtrooper TK-555? He was stationed in a factory that produced Order 66 cookies. Sheev killed him because he ate some of the cookies.
>He was a good friend.
>>63439188
Does reddit count?
>>63435284
>dat filename
>>63439716
Did you see how butthurt reddit got when /tv/ crashed the tom hardy AMA with no survivors?
>>63432740
>A good friend, he was.
You cunt.
So did disney shit all over OT with this comic?
>>63440121
>that art
People actually read that shit?
>>63433824
No, he tells him to erase the memory after Luke talks about the message from Leia.
>>63432740
>I was one of the 20 younglings who went to Yoda's class every tuesday and thursday back in youngling school inbetween Jedi chemistry class and lunchtime.
12/10 kekked hard
>>63436008
>barely concealing his childish incompetence and hatred of sand
Fuck
>>63440166
Yes, also Vader is a little bitch.
>>63434182
Luuuke isn't even canon to the EU.
>>63436008
Fuck, it even sounds good in Guinness's voice.
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I got high as fuck at a jizz gig? Mace Windu, being the only negro in the galaxy at the time sold me a bag of weed that he assured me was the best shit within 12 parsecs, he was a good friend. And that was some good weed.
>>63436748
What sends your sides to orbit is the fact that this is an OT fact.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sokan
>>63440121
>Anakin, you're breaking my potato
>>63440816
>High Ground Defense
>Taking advantage of terrain to gain a defensive advantage
>>63437212
>Order 66, which would be better known as the Great Jedi Purge if not for Palpatine spinning the whole thing as a conspiracy
>if not for Palpatine spinning the whole thing
>Palpatine spinning
>>63433387
>>63433387
>>63433387
Holy shit. I thought the exact same thing after I read OPs post. Why is /tv/ so comfy :3
>>63435289
Luuuke was a joke. Luuke wasn't.
>>63434182
I'm imaging how Obi-Wan actually dictates the wiki pages to luke. force kek
>>63441053
D-do you pronounce the extra u's?
>called Luke
>eternally cursed with Star Wars faggots telling they are my father
It was funny the first 100 times, lads
>where's Lando in TFA?
Luke did I ever tell you about chairs?
They were a good sit.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chair
>>63440257
Even the EU isn't canon to the EU
>>63441180
>Han Solo owned a chair considered to be the "most comfortable chair ever designed."
>click it
>There is a whole back story on a chair owned by Han Solo
what
>>63441218
Did Douglas Adams write an EU book?
>>63441154
i take it your reaction to this joke is only lukewarm by now
>>63441154
you think that's bad, I'm literally Luke Sky Walker.
As in, my dad's family are Walkers and my parents thought it would be a fucking great idea to make my first name Luke and my middle name Sky.
They don't even like Star Wars, they just thought it would be hilarious and then did it.
>>63441218
Man, I hope this fancy chair is featured in the new move.
>>63441269
>>63441269
This is why legal name changes are a thing.I'd remove the space between sky and walker, too.It's your destiny.
>>63441269
I'm french canadian and my parents named me Marin. Our last name is Gouin. Marin Gouin (maringouin).
IT MEANS MOSQUITO IN FRENCH!
Before Baneposting, I was ashamed of my name. Not anymore.
>>63441388
Literally the mosquito man
>Luke, lie down for a second. Did I ever tell you the story of based Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi? He was the only Jedi apart from Samuel L Jackson and Yoda to have any lines. His head was a big guy and he had a extra heart. He was a total bro and looked like a shabby grandpa. He had like 10 wives and 16 daughters back on his homeworld. Sadly he died. He was a good friend
Luke, did I ever tell you about Chewbacca, Han Solo's co-pilot? Well, he and Yoda were friends and fought together against the droid armies before you were born. Even though I will send you to Degobah to train with Yoda, Chewbacca will fail to remember his relationship with Yoda and not tell you that he once knew and fought alongside him. He was a good friend.
>>63436558
kek
>Stand by.
What did he mean by this?
Anon, did I ever tell you about Abatap? He worshipped James Cameron's Avatar (and James Cameron himself). He was in love with Neytiri, who he affectionately called Neyney. He was also a racist, hating the actress who they used the body/voice of to create Neytiri.
Such a complex individual, that Abatap. He had a blue fleshlight that he wa sreally proud of. He would spend hours upon hurs each and every day posting the same 3 or 4 lines and pictures from the Avatar movie.
He may or may not have been a Russian. He definitely was autistic.
He was a good friend.
>>63441269
At least they didn't name you Luuke
>>63441532
Are you retarded? do you really not understand what the phrase "stand by" mean? just how fucking dumb are you?
>>63441560
Luuke was okay. A little quiet and reserved, but a nice chap. Luuuke on the other hand... what a fucking cunt!
>>63441573
>Are you retarded?
What did he meme by this?
>>63441269
>>63441573
>just how
Are you Brendan-ing me an idiot?
>Luke did I ever tell you there's a slightly bigger version of your running around? He's a better friend than you.
http://biggerluke.wikidot.com/bigger-luke
>>63441269
>>63441154
My dad wanted me to be named Yoda when I was born
Everyone else in the family thought he was joking but he was apparently serious about it
>>63432740
>>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
this one always kills me
Luke, did I ever tell you about Rey and Finn? Oh boy. It was hard to tell if Rey was a good-looking girl or a squinty, toothy alien grimace. Her appearance seemed to shift between the two depending on certain points of view. Finn was a little wide in the hips for a stormtrooper, and many famous images of him were rather unflattering. You may think be thinking he wasn't a very good friend, but to you I sayAW HELL NAHLuke.
>>63441154
>Star Wars faggots telling they are my father
No .... *I* am your father
>>63441532
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tenn_Graneet
>"Stand by, Stand by…" ―Tenn Graneet's last words
>Tenn Graneet was a Human male Imperial gunner who was master chief gunnery officer in the Imperial Navy during the Galactic Civil War.
>Graneet had served in the Navy for thirty years and had served in the Clone Wars as a gunner. As the Death Star neared completion, Graneet was transferred to the superlaser gunnery crew.
>he began to question whether any person was capable of wielding such power wisely. He rationalized his concerns with the mistaken belief that the Empire would not actually fire the weapon at full power on an inhabited planet
>Following the destruction of Despayre and Alderaan, Graneet had a severe pang of conscience. Knowing that he had sent billions to their deaths, he soon came to see himself as the largest mass murderer in galactic history
>When given the order to fire the superlaser at the rebel base on Yavin 4, Graneet froze, wishing desperately for something to save him from his dreadful duty. He informed his gunnery crew and the overbridge to "stand by" and then repeated his order a few seconds later. His wish was granted, as his few moments of hesitation were sufficient to allow Luke Skywalker to destroy the Death Star. Graneet died in the resulting explosion.
Tenn Graneet: the real hero of ANH.
>Luke, did I ever tell you how me and your dad fought together in Clone Wars? Even though it was a single war fought for only 3 years between same enemies, it was a good war
>>63441814
I don't know why but I like the silly backstories of extras who appeared in one scene. They've no impact on the plot and are always funny.
>>63439492
Underrated post
>>63439492
my sides. underrated post of the last parsec
good one shot meme, worst meme fan base (all these enthusiastic idiots, OH IT'S SUCH A GOOD MEME AND SO MUCH BETTER THAN BANE POSTING, NORMIES CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS MEME).
>>63433825
That's the stupidest fucking idea I've ever heard, do you think his clothes were sewn on?
>Well this is my fave outfit so I better find a planet where everyone wears it, hmmm, the only one i can think of is the one Darth Vader grew up on. I'll just get a place near his only living family and change my name slightly.
>>63441942
>>63441998
Yes faggot, we get the point.
Luke, did I ever tell you you don't get to bring friends?
They were good friends.
>>63442105
Sleazebag detected
Luke, did I ever tell you how I spent 5 years on a hellish island? I didn't get to bring friends, so I was alone for the first few weeks. I made myself a friend with a soccer ball and some paint. I called it Wilson. Just like my mysterious, wisdom-filled next door neighbour back on Deytroitt, my home planet.
After almost a month, I was JUST'D the fuck up, let me tell you. I had almost lost all hope. But Wilson told me that if I build it, he would come. So I started to build a giant mountain of mash potatoes (I didn't have potatoes on the island, hellish islands aren't big on Micks plants, so I made my own mash potatoes substitute using coconut meat, clay, sand dust and a rudimentary crushed catfish paste).
Then, HE came. Tom Hardy (not THAT Tom Hardy, I mean the coast guard detective one. The one that was married to a sexy horse).
Tom got me the hell out of the hellish hell that was that hellish island.
He was a good friend.
>>63442116
funnily enough, i was only one of those.
>>63442174
I don't see how that is funny...
>>63442174
Underrated lie
Now back to reddit before you embarrass yourself further.
luke did i tell you about anakin, I LOVE bringing people together.
The Force Awakens Secret Plot Twist:
Obi Wan "Ben" Kenobi is, and always was, the bad guy.
Everything that happened was part of his plan to become a Force God.
>>63442257
Even when i tell the truth im accused of lying. Well then, guess the ex was right
">" Luke did I ever tell you about this one time a band camp I stuck a flute in my pussy
">" luke
>>63443491
>">"
Oh boy
"> oh boy"
>>63436549
True, Owen likely wouldn't remember some protocol droid he had over twenty years ago that also had a new metal skin.
>>63434182
In case anyone's wondering, this story is actually recognized as the BEST the EU has to offer.
Wait, why is Uncle Owen dressed like a Jedi Master?
>>63443781
You don't have to be a moisture farmer to be a jedi master. Obi wan Kenobi is a jedi master
>>63443781
Why was Beru dressed like a normal person?
>>63434104
Owen is the equivalent of some fringe lunatic living in death valley. He just might be some crazy moron. And his wife is probably a hoarder.
>Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels' hidden fortress.
>Sure I was in my early twenties during the Clone Wars and considering my rank most likely fought in them and can personally remember when thousands of Jedi were using their devotion to that ancient religion to mega flip and magically conjure up shit all over the galaxy as intergalactic sorcerer cops. Hell, I even remember when the Jedi were an officially recognized political organization whose headquarter was located in a gigantic government building on the capital planet across the street from the Intergalactic Senate where the Jedi were called upon by the Senate frequently to use their mystical sorceress powers to lend aid in conflicts and political issues but that won't stop me from being dismissive of the existence of supernatural powers!
>>63443999
The temple is even still there at the end of the bluray edition of RotJ.
>>63444176
now its the imperial palace because it has some sith ruins under it
>>63444176
Sheev moved in after the purge. That whole thing is his house.
I love these threads so much, I'm having trouble breathing.
What will Obi-Wan and Anakin's ghosts be doing in the new trilogy? Surely Annie is using his afterlife to get some missed quality time in with his children.
>>63434043
>mfw this is why Vader never goes down on Tatooine
It all makes sense now. Like poetry.
>>63444237
>>63444458
Still though, seems like the proper totalitarian thing to do would be to at least heavily renovate it so it's less of a reminder. I guess though the jedi could be viewed a bit like the masons:
> Yeah we got an old jedi temple downtown, mostly the city just rents it out for weddings and such.
>>63444531
It was the actual explanation in the old EU but in Disneys new one Vader reguarly visits Tatooine to do business with Jabba and kill Sandpeople for fun. They fucked it again as pointed out in the thread previously.
>>63433952
at the end of episode 3 r2d2's mind was wiped along with C3POs
the only reason he's hellbent on searching for Obi Wan is because Leia told him too, because the message was for Obi Wan
>>63444624
he only tells him to wipe C3PO's mind tho
R2D2 is actually a massive dickhead. He helped Anakin murder the children and didn't bother to tell C3PO what he just got done doing when they went to Padmé's house.
>>63444665
Well he is just a fucking droid. I don't think he had much of a personality in the OT but I didn't watch it in quite some time so I could be wrong. That C3P0 and R2 got even included in the Prequels is retarded anyway.
BECAUSE
>>63441030
When you spin you have the high ground in all directions simultaniously.
>>63444738
him and c3po bickering was the entire crux of their relationship in the OT
>>63444738
He has plenty of personality in the OT anon.
>>63444875
Except thats only in ANH and ROTJ. Empire has him pal around with luke and yoda.
>>63441549
Memes aside, did he die?
>>63436008
>You've been training nothing but a healthy set of Padawans and Knights and later murdered younglings for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies on Stewjon.
Now THIS is shitposting
Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you about his father? He was hired to assassinate a senator that me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw her would be assassin out, but his cunning surprised even us. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. And then that 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise for all we knew! Where was I? Oh yes, then that robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept, after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her because we we weren't watching her at all, but it as not a good shot. So we sense the hostile life forms in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his dumb jetpack. Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. Mace was a good friend. Boba is a bad friend.
>>63441998
Parsecs are a unit of distance, not time.
The kessel run is a dangerous smuggling route, as it follows the edge of a black hole to avoid detection.
The route is shorter depending on how close to the black hole you fly, as obviously going in a straight line is faster than arcing around it.
The Falcon can make the kessel run in 12 Parsecs, start to finish, meaning that it is fast enough to come within an incredibly close proximity to the black hole with no damage.
That is why the kessel run in 12 Parsecs is impressive, it's not a direct unit of speed, or time, but a unit of distance used to show that the ship can travel at speeds that allow it to come within a close proximity to a black hole, a feat in and of itself.
TL;DR: you used the term Parsec incorrectly
>>63437212
>Palpatine spinning the whole thing
>>63442168
Fantastic funny post Mr Reddit
>>63444502
He's almost certainly dodging getting the shit kicked out of him by all the other Jedi, With Dindu leading the charge.
>>63445245
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you rebel scum? I'll have you know I was the last Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, and I started the Clone Wars, and I have over 300 controlled solar sectors. I am trained in the Dark Side of the Force and I'm the top Sith in the entire Galactic Empire. Your planet is nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe it the fuck out with power the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the holonet? Think again, Jedi. As we speak I am contacting my apprentice from across the galaxy and your rebel base is being traced right now so you better prepare for the 501st, Jedi scum. The 501st that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your rebel base. You're fucking dead, Jedi. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just without my lightsaber. Not only am I extensively trained in Dark Side combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the galactic imperial stormtroopers and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the galaxy, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" destruction of my Death Star was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have retreated your fucking X wing. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn rebel. I will shoot lightning all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Jedi.
THEY'RE
STANDARD
FUCKING
DROIDS
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME
WHY WOULD HE ASSUME THEY'RE ANAKIN'S
ALSO WAIT DIDNT ANAKIN BUILD C3PO WHY WERE THERE OTHER C3 DROIDS IN THE MOVIES D:
>>63445245
>Parsecs are a unit of distance, not time.
but anon
>>63444738
http://km-515.livejournal.com/746.html
Theory about r2d2 and chewbacca being secret rebel spies. Pretty good read desu senpai
>inb4 "livejournal"
>>63445245
>correcting someone on one of Star Wars' most well-known "errors"
How proud of yourself are you, exactly?
>Luke, wake up
>I know you need your sleep before your attack on the death star tomorrow, but I must share something with you, something important.
>Did I ever tell you about unidentified 2-1B droid bartender? He was an unidentified 2-1B surgical droid working as a bartender at Chalmun's Spaceport Cantina on the planet of Tatooine during the Clone Wars. Around 21 BBY, this droid was serving drinks at the bar when several bounty hunters, including former Dark Acolyte Asajj Ventress, were looking at a holopanel for the latest bounties. He was a good bartender, and a good friend.
>>63437212
>Remind me to tell you about all that later, would you?
You've gone too far, Obi-Wan.
>>63445475
>time is dimensionless
No, it means that the way we observe the universe light travels at the same rate in time and space.
>Luke wait! I didn't tell you about unidentified 2-1B droid bartender yet! Luke!
>>63436008
I think you just perfected that meme.
>>63445372
underrated post
>>63445911
underrated post
>>63441269
>they just thought it would be hilarious and then did it
THE ABSOLUTE MADMEN
>>63444849
You would have to spin infinitely fast though.
>>63435092
He was a clone himself. The original one was called Shev.
>>63445790
it doesn't say time is dimensionless, it gives time the same unit as distance by defining its unit system such that the speed of light is unitless.
>>63443861
why was she dressed like Walker, Texas Ranger?
>>63445911
>>63446018
underrated postsseriously shut the fuck up redditors, not every post is 'underrated.' lurk moar
>>63445794
>Luke, did I ever tell you about limbs?
>Limbs were important appendages of organic bodies and many types of mechanical chassis. They were typically designed for motion and/or manipulation, and were found on most sentient and non-sentient species throughout the galaxy, and many droids and other artificial constructs.
>Humans and many other important sentient species were bipedal, with two legs and two arms (unless cut off by a good friend), and this form was imitated by many droids; but there were many variations. Sometimes these were relatively subtle, especially in the construction of hands, feet and their digits.
>Some bipedal species of the galaxy exhibited four arms, such as Besalisks, Codru-Ji, Myneyrshi, and Pho Ph'eahians.
>Other species and designs, however, had limbs of more radically different designs, like the dianoga with its tentacles and prehensile eyestalk, or the R-series astromech, which could travel in a bipedal or tripodal configuration, and had a wide variety of manipulator arms that could be extended from their torso and head.
>Some species, such as the Kloodavians,[1] Gands, and Trandoshans[2] were able to regrow their limbs if they were severed.
>though normally good friends, Wookiees were known to pull limbs off individuals when unhappy.[3]
>Other species, such as serpents like snakes, and the sentient Priapulin had no limbs.
>>63443781
Kenobi thought Owen was a real Skywalker so he tried to train him in the Jedi arts to defeat the Empire. Only later he realized that Owen was just the nobody son of the cripple that later married a Skywalker, so he gave up on training him, which explains the fallout between Owen and Obi. Owen also never gave back the training robe.
>>63441388
In quebec only maybe because in France we don't say that
>>63434043
BRAVO LUCAS
R
A
V
O
L
U
C
A
S
>>63446411
Purge it, Disney
>>63436008
If you could somehow incorporate the "YOU JUST KNOW" pasta into this..
Maybe something from the electrical infetterence pasta too.
>>63446210
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Manny Both-Hanz? He died retrieving information about the second Death Star and was a good friend.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Manuel_Both-Hanz
>>63432740
>Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers
Actually, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were dressed liked Jedi which is why they got incinerated on sight.
>>63434238
>>63434072
>>63435008
>>63435139
He stole the joke from Reddit.
>>63446768
Quick test.
Tell everyone in the thread why Reddit was originally hated, apply it to what you just said and then kill yourself.
>>63432740
>>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids
Seriously, why didn't he say shit?
>>63434182
Do you think Aunt Marie was in on it? In episode four she calls out for Luuuke, not Luke.
>>63446684
I always thought the line was "Many Bothans died for this information", as if a lot of people from a planet named Both died.
Never knew it was actually "Manny Both-Hanz died .....".
So only one guy died for this information?
Weak.
>>63436008
I'm just sad that no iteration of this pasta well ever top this
>>63446926
Maybe she was using a larger form of his name to differentiate normal Luke from bigger Luke
>>63434182
>mfw Sheev is a clone of Shev
>Supreme Leader Snoke is Shev
>>63447371
What the fuck happened to Brendan?
>>63447467
He had a rough life
>tfw New Years will have even more memes than last year
>>63441269
I want to school with at guy called Luke Sky Walker, are you from the UK?
>>63447467
Obi Wan cut off his legs and left him to die next to a lava floe.
He was a good friend
>Luke, did I ever tell you about your mother?
>Despite knowing you and your sister (did I ever tell you about her? She lived a life of luxury while you were stuck in this shit hole) would be born in a grim new age, and that your father and Sheev would hunt you down if they knew of your existence, she chose to die rather than look after you
>and she was a good friend
>>63448388
Why did Padme die? You'd expect that the technology of the time, capable of producing spacecraft, robots and energy weapons, would also be capable of saving mothers...
>>63448428
she got sad
>>63436008
>>63442166
Elan Sleazebaggano?
>>63448428
She lost the will to live because she didn't have any good friends.
>>63436487
that's what a satellite does
>>63438666
Yeah in the originals, it made simple sense that luke is hiding out on tatooine because it's a remote outer rich planet with minimal to no emperial presence.
The only reason the empire shows up there at all is simply because they followed the droids escape pod there.
Now, being vader's home planet makes the whole thing seem retarded.
Same with obiwans robes. He's dressed like a MOISTURE FARMER in the ot which makes perfect sense, but ep6, 1,2,3 making the outfit into jedi robes makes ep4 seem stupid.
>>63445475
This is formally wrong.
Your base relation is [m/s] = [m]/[s].
You can use this to express a distance using time and velocity i.e. [m/s]*[s] = [ms/s] = [m] or to express a time using a velocity and a distance i.e. [m]/[m/s] = [m]*[s/m]=[sm/m]=[s]-
>>63446444
Let's make this canon senpai desu
>>63440242
Why did the prequels turn Vader into a little bitch? In the OT he was the powerful general willingly serving a dark lord. Now he is just some manipulated puppet with a bad case of of the bitch.
>>63449569
A moon is a natural satellite
>>63434104
3PO is a fairly common design for a protocol droid, AND he's had his memory wiped. All you're left with is if Owen is paying any attention to the name/number, if that name/number is even unique.
>>63432740
>You fought in the Clone Wars?
>Yes. I was once a Jedi Knight, the same as your father.
[reminisces on when the Jedi had DBZ powers, could destroy armies single-handedly, and jumped thousands of feet in the air]
>>63450480
Would you ever believe in a million years that this pussy is inside the suit? He just puts that helmet on and gets a foot taller and talks like James Earl Jones and becomes a big time operator? Fuck no. Never.
>>63450746
>we never saw the General Kenobi armor and robe combo in live action.
Shit was cool as fuck.
>>63450865
Why does he dress like a farmer if he's a military commander?
>>63446955
nono its from a parody comic
bothans died for the information
>>63450927
its all about the a e s t h e t i c familia
>>63440121
What? Vader always realised between the first movie and ESB that Luke was his son.
>>63450927
>>63450865
Some Jedi wore simple robes reminiscent of peasant garb as part of their vow of poverty.
>>63451053
Of course.
