>at theatre to see skyfall, just released in australia
>alone so buy 2 tickets and tell the cashier my gf is in the shower
>faggot concession stand kid tries to put movie butter on my popcorn
>tell him to fuck off and just give me plain popcorn
>guard pulls out his pistol and tells me to get butter
>fuck
>end up getting my popcorn covered in shitty butter
>go to mens shower with my kookaburra and theatre cape
>little do they know i hid microwave popcorn and a stick of butter inside my kookaburra
>wait until i'm inside the theatre itself
>pull microwave out of my anus
>get stick of butter out of kookaburra
>little shit ate my popcorn though
>just lick butter throughout movie, not even warm because i cant find a power socket
>ends up melting all over my pants
>forget it's penis inspection day
>kookaburra passes the penis inspection
>my turn
>penis greasy as shit from butter
>crab doing the inspection revokes my theatre license and fails me
>get banned for life
fuck this shit, might as well have just stayed home and watched the kookaburra shit out unpopped popcorn
>armed guards in australian movie houses
confirmed not master race australian
probs obese american
>>62800788
it was a cap gun tbqh
I like these stories when there's an illusion of realism.
>>62800766
>>62800788
Can't help everyone convey keks. Don't underestimate butter, son.
yes
but where were the shrimps
>>62800766
>might as well have just stayed home and watched the kookaburra shit out unpopped popcorn
Wasn't that a scene in Malick's last kino?
>>62800818
This. We don't have butter on the popcorn in Australia.
>>62800861
yeah maybe you dont shitlord, i use the coles brand fucking block of butter that has about as much nutrition as a bowl of salt
You can't have butter in australia it would just melt
>>62801305
I can't tell if you're from reddit or Australia
>>62800766
>australia
>butter
ruined all believability mate.
>>62801445
ok it was margarine
